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File: 1339630247448.png-(81 KB, 622x474, planefag clocks out.png)
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You are a fighter pilot of the 501st Joint Fighter Squadron, and the highest-ranking General of the Army Air Forces is looking you over with a jaundiced eye.

"Well," says General Henry H. Arnold, "you're just crazy enough to be the psychotic SOB I'm supposed to decorate."

You blink.

From the landing above you come's Minna's voice, her usual sultry tones ragged and gutteral with true hate. "You're a dead man, pilot. You're a dead man walking. I'm going to eat you alive."

"NEGATIVE!" somebody shouts from behind you. Turning unsteadily, you see Nikolai Tesla striding towards you energetically, his arms gesticulating wildly. "I need him! The electrons are upset, and I can't operate the Singing Stones like I used to! He must be my emissary to the microscopic masses!"

You turn back to General Arnold.

"So what do they qualify for?" you ask. "The Blue Fucking Max?"

>WAT FUKKIN DO
>>
inb4 2410 posts and 151 image replies ommited
>>
Welcome back to the land of the living.

Also, in b4 Panzer.
>>
Stand up and salute like a complete Not A Scrub.
>>
>>19471966
FUCK ALL Y'ALL

I'M GONNA FINALLY GET SOME FUCKING RECOGNITION FOR ALL THE WORK THAT I DO
>>
>>19471966
The sacrifices worked! All glory to Planefag!
>>
Salute?
>>
>>19471966
Acquire medals.

Use "Gloat" ability.
>>
>>19471995

You've gotten that much right, at least.

>You sniff the air and smell Authority, and your brain stem kicks in.

>"HAIL OFFICER ON DECK FULL OF GRACE HALLOWED BE THY BRASS SIR~!" you bellow, snapping a crisp salute right to the bruised part of your face, eliciting a yelp of pain. You straighten your legs and back, snap your hand down crisply and lay at attention just like you were trained for it.

Now you just have to decide who's most likely to keep you safe from the (Malleroy-Maloney) brass and Minna.
>>
>>19471966
Fuck yeah
[x]crazy ivan
>>
>>19472011
Hap. Mallory couldn't give two fucks about Tesla, but he's not dumb enough to start a diplomatic incident fucking with the CINC of the Army Air Force.

Such things might jeopardize his command and rank.
>>
>>19471966
Salute once more and ask if we can talk somewhere that doesn't endanger our self like in the air or something.
>>
>>19472011
Clearly we're going with the guy with TEN STARS ON HIS SHOULDERS.
>>
HE LIVES.
Go with Tesla. Give the Commander time to calm the fuck down.
>>
Lets go with that there general fella
>>
>>19472011

I somewhat suspect dealing with Minna would be both undiplomatic (Tesla and our great-grandboss might get offended), and possibly suicidal.
>>
File: 1339630802953.gif-(140 KB, 184x184, 1339545499431.gif)
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I'VE BEEN WAITING

[x] let's go get our fucking medals
>>
File: 1339630839701.jpg-(117 KB, 400x400, minna after killing pilots.jpg)
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The most exciting day of the month has finally come!
>>
>>19472063
General, under his watch no harm should come to us.
>>
File: 1339630899265.gif-(592 KB, 380x215, Captured the Enemy Flag.gif)
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I just got off of work.
I'm enjoying rum in the form of a Cuba Libre.
Soon to be enjoying dinner. And possibly more rum.
Generation A is supposed to be on tonight.
SWQ is back.
And I get to sleep in tomorrow.

Today is wonderful.
The only thing that could complete this happy feeling is if my package from SGAmmo were to arrive at this exact moment.
>>
>>19472090

It is on friend.
It is here: >>19471031
>>
>Pop on over to /tg/
>See new SWQ
>Pinch myself
>Not dreaming

Well, my night is officially made!

As for "WAT DO", I think it's high time we get those piles and piles of medals we've earned, right? Go with the General.
>>
Salute that glorious bastard
>>
File: 1339631135626.gif-(1.97 MB, 400x226, Bison Yes.gif)
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>>19472106
Oh that just makes today better. Now I can probably forget about work even.
>>
I've been waiting for this.
>>
File: 1339631497735.jpg-(43 KB, 190x265, photo.jpg)
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>SWQ
>>
>[X] PANIC
>>
dear sweet god are we dead?
>>
File: 1339631684769.jpg-(62 KB, 300x440, quickdraw.jpg)
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We must escape before this happens.
>>
To clarify "WE CAN'T DIE NOW MINNA, WE HAVE DECORATIONS TO RECIEVE!"
>>
A Wild SWQ Appears!

>Bounce Item
Pkmn Run
>>
time for THE TOUCH
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AZKpByV5764
>>
>>19471966
Lets go with the general. We deserve those medals, and he can protect us better than Tesla from Mallory.
>>
FUCK YES. IT LIVES. IT LIVES.
>>
File: 1339632171316.jpg-(45 KB, 219x300, 131488870921.jpg)
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Henry 'Hap' Arnold seizes you by the collar, spins you about and marches you away at top speed, and you don't resist, happy to be saved from your psychotically angry... friend and Tesla, who's crazier then a shithouse rat. He marches you out of the Lounge and into the first-floor hallways near the briefing room, where most of Barin's administrative offices are. As you pass the hallway with the briefing room in it, a mob of men turn towards you. Bristling with microphones, they rush you like a horde of Polish pikemen bent on giving battle.

"RUN," Hap orders, shoving you violently into the next hallway, out of sight. With a smooth and practiced flourish, he produces a ream of papers from inside his uniform jacket.

"HEY GUYS!" he says, waving to get the reporter's attention. "Wanna hear about the Soviet-Sino-German-American co-operative manufacturing prosperity sphere pact we're thinking about possibly somewhat kind of signing, someday? We could, like, move *barrels.*"

You can't see the Horde around the corner, but the thunder of their onrushing tide wanes. Hap reaches for them plaintively. "But guys! Guys! We could move *barrels!* SO MANY BARRELS!" He shoots a glance sideways at you, irritated, and mouths his command again.

RUN!

>Run WHERE?
>THE PRESS CAN SMELL SENSATIONALISM
>THEY CAN SMELL YOU
>>
>>19472345
Run like fuck for the firing range! So we can help Miyafuji learn how to shoot, and talk to Ian in private!
>>
>>19472345

We must go somewhere utterly boring to escape. UTTERLY BORING.

There is only one solution. We must follow the paperwork.

To the Offices.
>>
>>19472345
[x] RUN SILENT, RUN DEEP
TO THE CATACOOOOOMBS
Also fuck your timing I have to leave for work.
>>
File: 1339632331809.jpg-(491 KB, 700x988, sannya01.jpg)
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>>19472345
To the adorable Cossack, they'll never suspect it!
>>
[x]THE PRESS CAN SMELL SENSATIONALISM

use bait!
>>
>>19472345
Run to our Waifu. The Widow has never let us down.
>>
>>19472345
Run to the lower baths. Didn't Yoshika have a secret hiding place we found?
>>
File: 1339632400695.jpg-(117 KB, 500x674, they've cutback on funding.jpg)
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>Soviet-Sino-German-American
It's all to help France, right?
>>
>>19472345
Hangars? No. Too obvious.
Basements? Depends. Going to ground works if you know the way around.
Towers? No. Don't want to get tree'd.

Bathhouse... maybe. Clouds of steam, water, plenty of exits... I think we have a winner! Dive, Dive! Run Silent, Run Deep!
>>
>>19472380
I'm kinda wondering if that leads anywhere else within the base.
>>
>>19472380
that got blown to hell by tesla

http://theoatmeal.com/comics/tesla
>>
>>19472345
GET TO THE GNOME FOR-I MEAN OUR PLANE!


POSSIBLY OUR LITTLE SISTER'S ROOM
>>
>>19472393
Even better. We'll use Tesla's machinations to fend off the hordes.
>>
File: 1339632481824.png-(78 KB, 424x344, 1317839197728.png)
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>>19472368

STOP I NEED BOTH HANDS TO TYPE GODDAMIT
>>
>>19472345
Lets run to the one safe place in the castle:
The littlest Cossack's room.
>>
>>19472368
>>19472405
>Sexualizing Adorable Cossack

You two disgust me
>>
Planefag! Where in the actual fuck have you been?

> Fly, you fool.
>>
File: 1339632584439.jpg-(230 KB, 800x1091, twintailmio.jpg)
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>>19472405
Aw, that's too bad.
>>
>>19472412
>"Robin, I-"
>>
>>19472412
This is innocent, you should see my porn folders.
>>
>>19472412
I stopped being able to think of Sanya in a sexual light after her little arc in the quest.
>>
>>19472432
>Sexualizing Little Sister

Disgusting

>>19472434
Too lewd
>>
>Strike Witches Quest
The fuck you say?
>>
>>19472445
It's back, bitches.
>>
Gnome! Flashbulbs tend to be high-failure devices?
>Aviators below, pants on head
>>
>>19472443
>"When you left, I was so lonely! I was worried sick! You're off to fight in the war, flying metal deathtraps to serve the country! And then aliens! Did you expect me to sit back home, not doing a damned thing? And now you go on a well-intentioned 'I'm your older brother and care about you' speech? It hurts listening to that! I know you're my brother, but..." she trails off, once again avoiding looking at you.
>>
File: 1339632756391.jpg-(102 KB, 1130x608, 1330043557798.jpg)
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>>19472445
Yep. It's back.
And it is still awesome. GNOMES FOR LIFE!
>>
File: 1339632791528.jpg-(45 KB, 434x280, 1291241025666.jpg)
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>>19472461
STOP STOP STOP STOP TOO LEWD SEXUAL DISGUSTING
>>
>>19472459
Let's not push our gnome luck. Save the blatantly supernatural shit for when we really need it.
>>
>>19472461
where DID kotters go again?
>>
File: 1339632851833.png-(663 KB, 415x408, saxton hale!.png)
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>>19472463
>>
First off, yay it's back.

Second. Hap is a bro.

And third, run to the closet that never opens from the inside!
>>
>>19472345
Go to the catacombs.
We may not know it well, but neither does the media.
Also, the hangar is too predictable.
>>
>>19472470
>"But I love you. I care for you. I want to be with you, no matter the danger, no matter where you are."
>Silently, you move closer and put your arms around her. "Robin..."
>>
>>19472491

it locks from the INSIDE

you would doom us all!
>>
File: 1339632954903.jpg-(5 KB, 226x251, 12401974267.jpg)
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>>19472501
NO NO NO NO NO NON ONO NO ONONO NO
>>
>>19472501

the writer never DID give us a sequal
>>
You fools!
We cant run from this now!
The press yes because if they catch wind of the pilot that've been fucking witches we're toast.

But yeah, Talk to minna, She got her hit in, we deserved that one, now we stand up against her because she has NO AMMO here.

"You want to burn me for infidelity, i ended up there because i had to run distraction on that crazy bundt cakeski because she was going to go after one of the younger witches and they ASK for my help. You know what happened, Many times of being blue balled by you happened, My mind couldnt even Think Straight! I can actually hear myself think lately! So when my head clears, and i try to go to you, Combat happens, When i get back from that, i catch You boinking her, So you've got No Cause to snap at me now Minna, you got it? You're fully within your right to be angry at me, and So am I, but you stow that shit and dont try to put me in the fucking hospital for the umptheenth time. I'm Done. Now if you're done im going to see if she was alright, you did say she was shot down during that last flight. You might as well come with so she doesnt jump my mostly broken bones, or several other peoples bones.

/rant
>>
seconding closet
gnome must get back in closet

SCONDARY OPTION: remains of peeping hole closet
>>
>>19472491
>And third, run to the closet that never opens from the inside!
Well, that's easy, they ALL do that.
>>
File: 1339633024100.png-(118 KB, 300x225, Fish.png)
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>>19472501
Okay, okay, let's stop picking on Kotters. He'll burst into treats if we pressure him anymore, and nobody wants to watch that.

We have SWQ to do.
>>
>>19472497
Problem is.. It's prime hunting ground for Minna. We don't have Witch-dar. It's suicide.. Unless we can turn it around somehow!

Also, wb planefag.
>>
>>19472512
Nah, let her come to the realization that she's just as guilty as we are. On her own time.
>>
File: 1339633106702.jpg-(464 KB, 982x1200, yes indeedy.jpg)
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>>19472512
you are retarded
>>
Hide in minna's bed

If she objects, point out that both of you cheated on each other with the same girl, so no one has rights to complain.

Except to that bitch because god dammit WE ARE THE ALPHA PILOT
>>
rolled 48 = 48

>>19472530
Exactly. Give her time. She'll realize the real enemy here: CUPCAKEINSKI
>>
>>19472512

NOOOPE

Give her space you fool.
>>
File: 1339633365386.jpg-(49 KB, 482x600, 1284419469755.jpg)
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PLANEFAG!
>>
>>19472524
That's because that thing is practically a magnet to people on the lam.
>>
>>19472512
So this is what you did to occupy yourself while waiting on your next hit of Planefag.
>>
File: 1339633501448.jpg-(53 KB, 650x875, 74fb13a35e677fd3d286e158f7f159(...).jpg)
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Hunted by the most hated men on earth, the Press Corps, you must seek refuge with the few allies talented at the treacherous art of lies, backstabbing and publicity. Luke is familiar with being a national hero from the Great War, he might know how to play the pipes and lure the journalistic snakes away, but you have no idea where he is.

There's only one force, in heaven or earth, that can outshine your stupidly suicidal "heroic" star. You beat tracks for it.

A few minutes later you're in the dormitory wing, having taken a back hallway to evade the landing where Minna was threatening you from. You glance left-right-left in a panic, hoping she won't find you, and hammer on a door in a panic.

It opens a crack, and one eye peeks out at you.

"Hu...?"

From the back stairwell come the quick tramp of feet and the murmur of excited voices.

"SANYA! HIDE ME!" you cry. Without question, the girl flings wide the door drags you inside and points at her bed.

"Under it, quick!"

Obeying Sanya to the letter, you dive for the floor, shrug your body snake-like to shimmy in under her bed, and bump into Elia's face with your nose.

>wat do
>>
>>19472626
Come here often?
>>
>>19472626
"Hello dear fiancee, imagine meeting you here."

then kissy face.
>>
File: 1339633581457.jpg-(28 KB, 768x576, Vinny what.jpg)
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>>19472626
>"Hi. So, you hiding from the press corp too?"
>>
>>19472626
Eila
>>
>>19472626
"Be silent, and hope the press can not smell fear."
>>
>>19472512

This. We've been doing so well being somewhat adult about our relationship with Minna, we must now be mature and reasonable in order to fix-

Oh, who am I kidding. Let's just go fuck Barkhorn while we're at it.
>>
>>19472626
Press Corps are attacking. sanya said I could hide here
>>
>>19472626
"S'up?"
>>
>>19472626
Engage in hushed conversational pleasantries
>>
>>19472626

>>19472639 This but no kissy face.
>>
File: 1339633647111.jpg-(88 KB, 700x872, hipster elia.jpg)
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>>19472626
"why are you such a creeper"
>>
>>19472626
>Come here often?
A good idea, but
>Sanya, there's a monster under your bed," winking at Elia
>>
>>19472626
"What are you hiding from?"
>>
>>19472638

Oh, you.

But yes, we should say this.
>>
>>19472626

>"Um. 'Sup?"
>>
File: 1339633691964.jpg-(74 KB, 820x542, 128141699078.jpg)
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>>19472644

at least I'm trying to fix the then/than thing
>>
>>19472626
Comment on the lovely climate under the bed
>>
File: 1339633726370.jpg-(25 KB, 300x287, 1290807221535.jpg)
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>>19472669
>I'm trying to fix the then/than thing

YES

YES

YES
>>
>>19472658
>Sanya, there's a monster under your bed," winking at Elia
I second this.
>>
>>19472626
"Why, hello there, I seem to have walked into a rapist."
>>
>>19472626
> Obeying Sanya to the letter, you dive for the floor, shrug your body snake-like to shimmy in under her bed, and bump into Elia's face with your nose.

Gods, but I've missed you.

Play it cool, play it casual.
>>
>>19472688
It's only statutory.
>>
>>19472705
so basically this:>>19472638
?
>>
>>19472715
Or the "Monster under your bed" line.
>>
>>19472638
...I only just realized the innuendo there.
>>
>>19472626
Well hello there, beautiful.
>>
>>19472733
That's why it's a great line.
>>
>>19472675
hey

hey kotters

hey

hey man

when do we get more Robin x MC?
>>
>>19472626
Finger to lips. They're close, we must be quiet.
>>
>>19472760
When Submersible Witches Quest is over.
>>
>>19472760
Dude. Let it go. This is the worst part of these threads. Not the fic, but the begging for it/teasing about it.
>>
File: 1339634450670.jpg-(64 KB, 640x381, 1306110201026.jpg)
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STRIKE WITCH QUEST IS BACK! FUCK YES!
>>
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There's one long second of pure amazement as you rapidly re-orient to the situation at hand. Then a few seconds of pure lust as you reign in your hormones, because it's hard to ignore Eila's appeal when it's crammed into such a tiny space like this.

"Come here often?" you whisper casually, giving her a shit-eating grin.

Eila calmly presses the muzzle of a pistol underneath your chin.

"Helloooo?" Sanya is saying at the door. "Can I help you gentlemen?" The ambient air pressure seems to drop a bit as a silent, yet very tangible gasp is taken in by about twenty people outside.

'Noisy, tsk tsk' you mouth at Eila, unperturbed.

"I... uh... I'm sorry miss, we were looking for, uh..." somebody rambles at the door.

Eila opens a folding pocketknife with a quiet "snick." From your belt, you produce your purloined Fairbain-Skyes and waggle it, giving Eila a shit-eating grin.

"Auu, will you talk to me, instead?" Sanya is saying. "I'm part of the war, too. I do my best!"

"WILL YOU!?" several men say at once, their voices dripping with awe. You hear the mechanical sounds of camera shutter-speed knobs being hastily adjusted as the presumed reporters are sucked into the Adorable Cossack's charm.

"S-sure~" Sanya says, confident in her hold on them, now. "W-what should we talk about?"

Eila eyes the dagger, looks at your shit-eating grin, and with terrifying abruptness her face goes from "Nordic beauty" to "Avenging Valkyrie From Hell." She drops her weapons and both hands lock around your neck with frenetic strength.

'hrrk,' you say, not very loudly at all.

>Only PRESS POWER can save you now!
>For Adorable Cossack's sake we must DEAL WITH IT
>other?
>>
Just making sure we''re not permasaging.
>>
>>19472838
DEAL WITH IT
>>
>>19472838
DEAL W/ IT

Also, I'm not up on my witches. Why are we getting strangled now?
>>
>>19472838
Strangle her back!
>>
>>19472838
>For Adorable Cossack's sake we must DEAL WITH IT


We can not (CAN NOT) embarrass the poor thing after she's just getting her confidence back.
>>
>>19472838

>For Adorable Cossack's sake we must DEAL WITH IT

And for our own, for that matter.
>>
>>19472838
>For Adorable Cossack's sake we must DEAL WITH IT
>>
>>19472838
DEAL WITH IT.
As getting caught in her room would be bad for Sanya.
WE MUST SUFFER FOR COSSACK
>>
>>19472838
Can we do a quick head count of who ISN'T trying to kill us?
>>
>>19472838
>DEAL WITH IT

Also, >purloined Fairbain-Sykes

Did we take that off Stirling or Paddy?
>>
>>19472838
Try to say "what happens under the bed stays under the bed".
>>
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>>19472838
It's for the Cossack.
Deal with it.
>>
>>19472882
We took it off David Stirling himself.

...after we pushed a fridge on him.
>>
>>19472838

[x] DEAL WITH IT.
>>
>>19472879
Robin, Sanya, Miyafuji....

I think?
>>
>>19472838
Fight back, strangle her with one hand and squeeze her wrists to break her grip with the other.
>>
>>19472838
>For Adorable Cossack's sake we must DEAL WITH IT

Let's try the erotic asphyxiation bit again, if we can manage it without making noise. Worked the last time a witch tried to strangle us, right?
>>
>>19472894
So the Little Sister Brigade and that's about it. Peachy.
>>
File: 1339634836781.png-(228 KB, 671x333, She's talking about plums.png)
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>other?

grab her tits
>>
>>19472904
Do you need anyone else?
>>
>>19472894
Wait, what'd I miss, why is Miyafuji trying to kill us?
>>
>>19472879
The Widow.
And maybe Hellcow.
>>
>>19472918
>Can we do a quick head count of who ISN'T trying to kill us?
>who ISN'T trying to kill us?
>>
>>19472904

Cupcakeski'll probably pass on the murder. It'd be cheating in the neverending contest we have going.
>>
>>19472894
>>19472904
Pretty sure Erica's also pretty chill toward us. Then again, she's always chill.

I don't believe Trude has any reason to be pissed at us either, but then again if she gets wind of our romp with Cupcakeski that might change. Or not. Depends on how much of her interest in us is genuine interest and how much is just gratitude for saving Chris.
>>
>>19472904
Erika and Lynette, Shirley, Luchinni, Kathy, Miles.

we've actually got a rather short list of people trying to kill us, Minna, Mallory, and apparently now Eila.
>>
>>19472894
Chris. Trude.
>>
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>>19472838
>[Other] Fairbain-Sykes you said? I say we make a pressing counter arguement to her discourse on "Throttling pilots to death". Just to get the point across and all...

Failing that, roll out from under the bed, scream bloody murder at the top of our lungs, escape the press with Cossack in tow and bounce whatever happens to get in the way.
>>
>>19472918
ISN'T trying to kill us.

I dont think Cupcakes wants us dead, neither do our bros. Tesle just wants !!SCIENCE!!
>>
>>19472909
This.
>>
Hey, it's been a while. Could someone post the Shit to Get Done list?
>>
>>19472941
> Interrupting adorable cossack
unacceptable. Go to your room and think about what you've suggested.
>>
>>19472838
>reign
REIN

anyway
>grab her tits

or
>reclaim pants in the name of the Air Force
>>
>>19472928
>>19472954
Oh, what I'm missing is that within 5 minutes after waking up I'm illiterate.
>>
>>19472964
<Demetrious> soooo many things to re-visit, like how sanya and elia are doing, miyafuji still being sadface mcfailurefuck, etc
>>
No but seriously. Why is Eila trying to strangle us?
>>
>>19472986
Sanya's probably started acting on what we told her.
>>
>>19472941
And break Sanya's confidence just as she was getting it back? And also embarrassing her in front of the entire Press Corps, since they WILL write about it?
>>
>>19472986
She thinks we're getting to close to the prize she wants: Sanya.
>>
>For Adorable Cossack's sake we must DEAL WITH For the COSSACK OF ADORABLENESS!
>>
>>19472995
Also because we probably interrupted them.
I'm absolutely fine with a death because of that.
>>
>>19472995
which is...?
>>
>>19472986

Sanya told us that Eila's being too physical for her, so we told Sanya not to take that shit.

I don't think Eila's taking it very well.
>>
>>19472986
Well, IIRC Sanya walked off with our flight jacket after that chat. Was that last night in-story? I kind of lost track of time.

Also, our chat with Sanya may have convinced her to stand up to Eila's advances, which would not make Eila happy, and if she got wind that we had something to do with it...
>>
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>>19472974
Oh you know you want to. The thrill of the bounce, leaving Eila with the Press, bouncing her, them and taking off at the speed of the sound with little sister Cossack?

You know, deep down, from that little voice, the one that always offered the forbidden fruit, that this is right and natural, and ohhhh sooo good.
>>
>>19473010
Sanya and Eila sitting in a tree!
K-I-S-S-I-N-G!
>>
>>19473020
Weren't you just advocating against pressing the Big Red Button two nights ago?
>>
>>19472975
>reign

HOW DID I FUCK THAT UP JESUS CHRIST FUCK
>>
>>19473010
Stand up for yourself girl, you dont gotta give it away. Relationships are all. about. respect. If cant respect you, then you gotta make her.
Or something.
>>
>>19473017
On the other hand, we ALSO gave her some spiked Cocoa. So she might have used that for some liquid courage on the "Not ready for that" front.
>>
>>19473013
Aaahahaha well in that case throw Eila to the wolves however is cruelest.
>>
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>>19473026
Aaaaand? I'm allowed to have some fun you know.
>>
>>19473039
>cruelest

Probably involves taking a trip over to America so she can meet our folks before the wedding.

>>19473044
No fun allowed.
>>
>>19473039
No, because that also throws Sanya to the wolves, and we are pretty cool with Sanya.
>>
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>>19473044
No you're not.
>>
>>19473047
I stand corrected. That is absolutely evil.
>>
>>19473039
But us emerging from underneath Sanya's bed makes for a much juicer story, and is the one more likely for the Press to latch on to and print.
>>
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Finnish witches are all trouble
>>
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>>19473047
I'm having fun and there's nothing you can do to stop me!

Oh look at all the fun I'm having, it's so much fun!

Seriously though. Either force Eila to back off with the strangling through application of pointed counter arguement, or throw her to the wolves and abscond with the Cossack during the confusion.

So we'll have made yet another life enemy, so what. We've got plenty of those anyways, and they've yet to do any permanent damage.
>>
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After all you've done for the Adorable Cossack - and after the even more important things she's done for YOU - there's no way in hell you're going to let a scene like this spill out for those press jackals. You will suffocate with the grim dignity of the pilot's breed, going down with a stiff upper lip for the sake of your loyal comrade in arms.

And if Eila keeps choking you so hard, you'll be dying with a a stiff something else, as well. Oh well. You're dying, and you're not long for this world. May as well seize the moment, so to so speak.

You grab Eila's tits.
>>
>>19473114
...Oh, for fuck's sake.
>>
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>>19473114
>You grab Eila's tits.
>>
>>19473100
A point: If we do that, the Press is going to run all KINDS of stories about us being in a relationship with the Adorable Cossack, who is only 14 if I must remind you.

So not only would we embarrass the fuck out of Sanya, it would embarrass the unit, AND it would make its way back to our Mother. And that would be BAAAAAD.
>>
>>19473100

No, because that means the PRESS sees US and ELIA under ADORABLE COSSACK's bed. There is no way that goes well you fool. Either she suffers from adorableness backlash as we break the charade, or ELIA/US/BOTH get thrown to the wolves as we are seen to be LURKING beneath the ADORABLE ONE'S bed.
>>
>>19473114
>You grab Eila's tits.

Welp.
>>
>>19473114
She knew damn good and well the situation she put us in.
>>
>>19473114
We'll be fine. Eila saw that coming.
>>
>>19473114
>And if Eila keeps choking you so hard, you'll be dying with a a stiff something else, as well.
Huh, so we weren't exactly lying when we said we were into erotic asphyxiation before...
>>
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>>19473114
HONK HONK
>>
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>>19473114
OH NOOOOOOOOOO
>>
>>19473143
Despite wanting to hook her and Sanya up with a better relationship, she's still smoking hot.
>>
>>19473114
Well, rumor is we're into auto-erotic asphyxiation, right? What else was she expecting?
>>
>>19473125
As entitled to my foolishness and playing the Devil's Advocate as I am, it's moot point now.

So, who is in for copping a further feel, now that we're committed?
>>
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>>19473114
This can only go well!
>>
>>19473162
Hell, why not? Might as well go for it.
>>
>>19473114
First comes suffocation, next comes marriage ~
>>
>>19473162
>gripley-5/8ths-zoidberg-second.jpg

Continue reciprocating the invasions of personal space. It's not like WE'RE going to be the one making an awkward noise that gives us away, what with our lack of airflow.
>>
>>19473158
True, but that alone doesn't quite explain what the strangulation has to do with it.
>>
>>19473181
>Implying marriage isn't a continuation of suffocation.

Anyway, I don't know what to do now.
>>
>>19473195
Involuntary erections (really, all erections are involuntary) can be triggered by fear and near-death.
>>
>>19473196
twist and pinch?
>>
>>19473207
Lift and Tickle
>>
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>>19473189
forgot mah pic
>>
>>19473196
See pic of
>>19472909
=3POW
WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO UNDER THE BED
>>
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Eila's face turns six shades of purple and her elbows snap back against the back of your hands so fast you hear a supersonic crack. Or perhaps that's your hands. Ouch. Her hands instinctively curl into claws, absently groping for your too-distant throat. She tries to scream, shout, yelp and rant at the same time, but the various intents get jammed up in her throat and all that emerges is a low-key sputtering.

For your part, you're biting your lip against the pain in your hands - but they ARE being crushed into Eila's chest, so hey, what the hell.

"Is it scary?" one of the reporters is asking.

"Well, I was shot down and crashed in the Channel recently," Sanya says. "It was dark... and cold... and I could hear the M-Martians coming for m-me in the d-d-dark~"

The soft sighs of five swooning reporters is barely audible over the muted snarling coming from Eila's mottled face. Jesus, at this rate she's going to suffocate HERSELF.
>>
>>19473249
>The soft sighs of five swooning reporters is barely audible

Sanya is moe as fuck ( ◕‿◕)
>>
>>19473249
Let her do it. Just...just let her choke on it.

Also, Sanya~
>>
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>>19473249
Quick, begin applying pressure! Milk it for all it's worth!
>>
What's with the teeny tiny updates, planefag? You usually put much more into a single post unless it ends in > wat do
>>
>>19473264
> Milk it for all it's worth

Oh, you.
>>
>>19473249
Oh god, Sanya.

And continue with Eila.
>>
>>19473264
I see what you did there.
>>
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WHATCHA GONNA DO NOW
>>
>>19473264
Dohoho.

Yes. Yes.
>>
>>19473249
QUICK! SWAG MODE ENGAGE!
>>
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>>19473249
SWQ is back, i have a fifth of vodka, a 2 liter of dr pepper, and i don't have work tomorrow
all is right with the world
>>
>>19473264
We have individual fingers! USe them!

Are we still being strangled? If so, continue. If she has not removed her hands from our throat, do not remove ours from her bust, except inasmuch as is required to further encroach.
>>
>>19473249
At this rate she will make herself pass out
>>
We need to remind Eila that we saved Sanya's life.
>>
>>19473249
Shes running out of air.

Clearly she requires mouth-to-mouth. Its risky, but if she dies of lack of oxygen that will be much, MUCH worse.
>>
>>19473324
I think Sanya is about to get to that point in the story now, anyways.
>>
>>19473249
Quietly shoosh her. She's going to blow it!!
>>
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waiting warmly
>>
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>>19473368
or just remind her what'll happen to sanya if the press finds us and eila under the bed engaging in what looks like some sort of violent foreplay...somehow

we just can't let them find us
>>
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There's a small furor by the door as the reporters part to let Sanya through, then the continued murmur of their conversation as Sanya leads them down the hall and away from her room. Within a minute, you and Eila are alone with the dust bunnies.

"Wanna let go of my hands now?" you hiss.

Eila just turns a darker shade of purple and crushes your hands with her elbows a little harder.

"I guess that's an invitation," you say, and squeeze her breasts - or try to; your hands are going numb so it's hard to get much tactile response.

Eila tries to kick you and hits the bedpost with her instep, but she still gets her knee into your midsection. Using her new purchase, she manages to push away from you, shoving her hands into your chest for additional leverage and mercifully releasing your hands. You rub your paws, trying to restore bloodflow while watching Eila's face change colors with a kind of horrified curiosity.

"So you like dudettes now? I knew you were a switch-hitter!"

"GKHRGK," she rumbles.

Oh, dear.

>Get the fuck out of Dodge? The General is waiting!
>Find out what the fuck is going on? Best to seize the Norwegian by the... ponytail?
>>
>>19473399
>"So you like dudettes now? I knew you were a switch-hitter!"

Did you mean "dudes"?
>>
>>19473399
Also, seize the norwegian
>>
>>19473399
Find out what the fuck Arnold and Tesla want!
>>
>>19473399
>Find out what the fuck is going on? Best to seize the Norwegian by the... ponytail?

She's gotta stop creeping on our Cossack.
>>
>>19473399
>Find out what the fuck is going on? Best to seize the Norwegian by the... ponytail?

Best to take a little time to make sure the press is far away before we leave. Also, I'm pretty sure Eila's Finnish, not Norwegian...
>>
>>19473399
>gone for like 6 weeks
>immediately back to trolling the pantsless residents of castle Barain
god i missed you PF

also:
>Find out what the fuck is going on? Best to seize the Norwegian by the... ponytail?
i am curious
>>
>>19473399
> Slip into Maximum Overtroll
Find out what's going on.
>>
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>Find out what the fuck is going on? Best to seize the Norwegian by the... ponytail?
>>
>>19473399
Knowledge is power.
>Find out what is going on.
>>
>>19473399
>[^]Find out what the fuck is going on? Best to seize the Norwegian by the... ponytail?
>>
>>19473399
>Get the fuck out of Dodge? The General is waiting!

true aces know when to bail out and let their enemies stew in the knowledge that they weren't worth the effort of defeating
>>
>>19473399
Let's find out...one..twooooo...three.
>>
>>19473399

Let's make sure everything's cool here. Elia didn't seem this stressed last time we talked to her. And we don't want domestic problems for adorable cossack.
>>
>>19473434
> CRUNCH
Three.
>>
>>19473399
>Find out what the fuck is going on? Best to seize the Norwegian by the... ponytail?
Trust me if we go for the general more martians will attack.
>>
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>>19473421

And I missed YOOOU! I also missed sleep. Today I have both.

The other day a fellow employee comes up to the kiosk for gas, asks me how it's going, and I look up from my notebook and say "The Martians are in the Med and the Wizards book is overdue."

The look on his fucking face
>>
>norwegian
Eila's Suomi, which is Finnish. :)
>>
>>19473450
I love you, Planefag
>>
>>19473399
>Find out what the fuck is going on? Best to seize the Norwegian by the... ponytail?

I need more Eila pictures.
>>
>>19473450
"GOOBLE GOBBLE ONE OF US!
WE ACCEPT HIM! ONE OF US!"
>>
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>>19473464
>>
>>19473485
>Perrine

Perfect
>>
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>>19473450
>mfw
>>
Seize The Weege!
Carpe Dos Tits. I mean tail.
>>
>>19473512
if she had been using her magic i think we might've already been dead...although i remember it being mentioned that it was hard to master the strength amplification of witch magic, so maybe eila hasn't done so yet
>>
>>19473464
Here! Lots!
>>>/a/67085369
>>
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>mfw Planefag has a long history of bouncing
>>
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>>19473542
oh lord, dont link them here. i actually like how calm this thread has been so far
[nospoilersontg]even though i'm from /a/[/nospoilersontg]
>>
>Find out what the fuck is going on? Best to seize the Norwegian by the... ponytail?
>>
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animooted
>>
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>>19473636
gotta go fast
>>
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It's tempting to run like hell for Hap, but even the gravitational pull of a five-star General can't overcome the big-brother instincts. "What the hell were you doing under Sanya's bed, you fucking creep?" you snarl, a lot hotter then you intended.

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH!" she screams, lunging for you with both hands. You catch her clawed digits as they try to wrap around your throat, but that's just a distraction - it's her foot that does the damage, kicking the side of your knee. You topple sideways and Eila lands on top of you, drawing her fist back as she lands atop you.

"I'M GOING TO FUCKING EAT YOU ALIVE!" she snarls, and you lift your head just enough to intercept her fist with your forehead. "GNARGF," she states eloquently as her dainty knuckles hit the hardest part of your skull.

You shove her off you and scramble back against the wall. "What the fuck is your damage, bitch?"

"THIEF! SEDUCER! SLUT!" she wails, tears springing to her eyes. She picks up an end-table and raises it over her head, knick-knacks and brick-a-brac flying everywhere. "I'M GOING TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF YOU!"

>COME AT ME, NORWEGIAN SLUT
>Plead ignorance?
>Run for your fucking life?
>>
>>19473654
>>19473654
If she's willing to beat us now, she'll take dumb risks later. We solve this here.
>>
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>>19473654
Well...

COME AT ME.
>>
>>19473654
fuck those choices
>DEMAND EXPLANATIONS
>>
>>19473654
She thinks we wooed Sanya out from underneath her.
Which we kinda did, but still.

>COME AT ME, NORWEGIAN SLUT
>>
>>19473654
"WHAT. THE. FUCK. ARE. YOU. TALKING. ABOUT?!"
>>
>>19473654
Plead Ignorance. What the hell is she on about?
>>
Do we know what ſhe's talking about?
If not, plead ignorance.

IN ANY CASE:
"That's Sanya's ſtuff you're traſhing."
>>
>>19473654
Bullshit, she was saving my ass, because I asked her to. That's what friends do. I was only hiding out until the press left.
>>
>>19473654

WHAT? I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!
>>
>>19473654
>SEDUCER

"YOU DARE SUGGEST THAT I WOULD LAY HANDS UPON SOMEONE AKIN TO MY OWN SISTER IN A LEWD MANNER?! YOU HAD BEST BE PREPARED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THOSE WORDS!"

>come at me, sis
>>
fight for our cossack
>>
>>19473654
>Plead ignorance?
>>
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>>19473654
>THIEF! SEDUCER! SLUT!
"guilty as charged, but not in Sanya's case"

so, i guess a mix of "come at me" and "get more info"
>>
>>19473654
We're full of adrenaline from the meeting with tesla, confused feelings about minna and krupinski, and repressed rage from ALL FUCKING DAY.

COME AT ME.
>>
>>19473654
>Plead ignorance

Out of character I have a pretty good idea of what she's on about, but MC's a bit denser than that.
>>
>>19473654
Full nelson and demand a goddamn explanation. We have too many sparkles trying to kill us at present.
>>
There is but one response to this.

"One, what the hell are you talking about?

Two, PILOT!"
>>
>>19473654

>>"Why on earth do you think I'd be seducing a goddamn 15-year-old? Who do you think I am? Sean?"
>>
>>19473696

Scratch that...

>>"Who do you think I am? Navy?"
>>
>>19473712
fix'd
>>>"Who do you think I am? The MPs?"
>>
>>19473720
just going to throw the brass in as an option.

Or the press.
>>
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>>COME AT ME, NORWEGIAN SLUT
Tempting to just shoot her in the foot or something, probably not armed though.
>>
>>19473654
We are offended.

Very, very offended.

We make this clear.
>>
"I can't believe you're trying to defend Cupcakeski's honor! Wait. This is about the jacket, isn't it."
>>
>>19473738
the fewer people on Barain who know about this, the better...because unlike Lynette and Meeafoojee, Eila's not particularly inclined to keep quiet about it
>>
>>19473654
COME AT ME, NORWEGIAN SLUT
>>
>COME AT ME, NORWEGIAN SLUT
mixed in with a good dose of 'What the fuck is your damage? Besides getting the first tit-groping you've ever had.'
>>
[x]COME AT ME

Because I am full of indignation.
>>
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You've had one hell of a day so far. Bouncing Tesla's lightning-riding shark-plane over some sea-gantic flying boat thing got your dander up, and Minna's little... recreational tryst didn't help matters any.

A man can only take so much, and a fucking end-table to the noggin is definitely in excess of your daily quota.

"HAI!" you shout, dancing forward and throwing an expertly-aimed kick at Eila's midsection, but the blonde Norwegian nutcracker slides around your foot like it isn't there, twisting her hips to dodge and swing the end-table in one motion. It catches you mid-body, but with your left arm drawn up in a boxer's guard, it doesn't hurt you much.

It does, however, knock you right over Sanya's bed. You topple to the floorboards on the other side in a heap, looking up in time to see Eila shakily readying the end-table again. The girl can't weigh more then a hundred pounds, but she's got fury and madness on her side.

Vaguely, you recall she can see the future or some shit, so any and every attack you launch will be dodged with equal adroitness.
>>
>>19473764
>First tit-groping
>In the 501st

It's practically part of basic training for the unit.
>>
>>19473792
Fucking futuresight.
>>
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>>19473792
>flail wildly
>>
>>19473792
go at her with full intent of crazy lovemaking to throw her off then lay the smack down
>>
>>19473792
We need to get that table away from her post-haste. Either that or have her hit Sanya with it or something. If we get this down to bare-knuckles, we can end this.
>>
>>19473807
Future sight, not mind-reading. Doesn't matter if we plan it or not, she'll see it coming.
>>
>>19473792
Well, then...we could try and kick her, so she'll dodge right into a wall or something.
>>
>>19473792
Oh. Right. She can see the future.
yell "I cry when I masturbate" and bull rush her.
>>
>>19473792
DISARM AND ENGAGE. Attempt a grapple of some sort.
>>
Smack Eila, inform her we are not nailing Adorable Cossack.
>>
>>19473792
Try talking now. We're at something of a disadvantage and words can end this with less bruises than fighting will.
>>
She will dodge any and all attacks
THEREFORE
Use words!
>nego-113
Yes, captcha agrees.
>>
>>19473792
We have some space between us and her now. While she may be able to hurl the table, it probably would be trivial to dodge. Let's use this opening to try to de-escalate the situation, shall we?

Use words. Perhaps angry words, but words nonetheless.
>>
Pull off the bedsheet and rush her with it in your arms. It'll tangle her up and then you can grapple her, and she won't able to dodge.

Apply forehead to the bridge of her nose repeatedly until she stops moving.
>>
>>19473821
basically >>19473826
we need to force her to dodge into something just as painful...or failing that, just try to tackle her

or, we could use words i guess...we haven't been very good with those as of late...or ever
>>
>>19473792
>she can see the future or some shit
>see the future
>see

If we blew the lights, would we kill her ability to dodge? Or is it less visual based and more of an intuitive thing? Because it's one thing to kill the lights to even our odds, it's entirely another to kill the lights and give her every advantage over us.
>>
>>19473821
"I told her to stand up for herself!"
I mean, can she hear what we say with our futuresight? If we try to speak she might get stuck hearing even if she interrupts us.
>>
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If only we had tinfoil
>>
>>19473792
Future sight is a bitch.
>>
>>19473821
Even future sight is not infallable.
We just have to do something that even it cannot predict.

Nothing.
>>
>>19473863
"By doing nothing, you do everything..."

Hmm...could work.
>>
>>19473792
>IMPLYING I WOULD DO LEWD THINGS TO ADORABLE COSSACK

NORWEGIAN WHORE RAPIST LOOK IN A FUCKING MIRROR
>>
>>19473863
CRAZY IVAN!

If we don't know what we're doing, she can't either.
>>
>>19473816
Don't all the witches get, y'know, SUPER-STRONGTH WELLING IN THEIR VEINS?

We need a TRAP DEVISUT BY SATAN or an ILLVSION
>>
Say "She had my jacket because it was a cool night out and she needed some reassurance. Not because I seduced her and left it behind the next morning. I don't go after children."

Don't say "I was with Minna all night."

Who am I kidding. This is too rational to get in.
>>
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MC use CQC!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGAFeUW8mWA
>>
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Of course, there's a way around that - an ancient method employed by Russian artillerymen and Eye-Talian anti-aircraft gunners... leave nowhere to dodge.

As Eila prepares to bring her table down on your head, you spring forward, flipping Sanya's mattress off her bed, and shove it before you like a shield. Eila sees it coming, but there's not a damn thing she can do to dodge something the size of a mattress with the force of a pissed-off pilot behind it. You slam into her with the mattress, bowling her over and bearing her to the floor. Before she can squirm away, you sit atop it and cross your arms... crossly.

"Take THAT, you Norwegian bint!"

"I'm FINNISH, you fucking knuckle-dragging neanderthal shit-eating shark-bait!"

Oh. Finland. You conjure your mental map and try to locate 'Finland' in the area roughly classified as "Low Netherstan," and give up after a few seconds. "Is that one of those countries so wet and pissy that the Vikings invaded *England* because it was drier?"

"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Eila screams, thrashing about madly.

"Quiet! Sanya might hear!"

Eila goes silent immediately, but you can feel the heat of her rage permeating through the mattress.
>>
Hmm, we could try a feint.

Eila's future sense is limited to near-future, and it is imperfect.
>>
>>19473888
NOW, EXPLAIN WHILE THE THERE IS AN OPENING
>>
>>19473888
Alright, we have her right where we want her. Make her squeel.
>>
>>19473888
>Oh. Finland. You conjure your mental map and try to locate 'Finland' in the area roughly classified as "Low Netherstan," and give up after a few seconds. "Is that one of those countries so wet and pissy that the Vikings invaded *England* because it was drier?"

Love you, planefag~
>>
>>19473888
>"Is that one of those countries so wet and pissy that the Vikings invaded *England* because it was drier?"

It's little gems like this that make me love you, Planefag.
>>
>>19473901
squeal, rather.

Horrible quality checking.
>>
>>19473888

Ask her what the fuck her problem is again.

Maybe someday a witch will actually satisfactorily answer that question.
>>
NOW WHILE SHE'S PINNED, PUNCH HER THROUGH THE MATTRESS!
>>
>>19473914
MC isn't actually feeling all that rational right now.
>>
>>19473888
BIG BROTHER INTERROGATION MODE: ACTIVATE

If we have access to her sides or feet she must divulge answers or face the unholy wrath of the elder sibling tickle storm.
>>
>>19473888
Explain this bullshit now.
>>
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>"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Eila screams, thrashing about madly.

she is so mad
>>
>>19473888
big brother interrogation commence
>>19473914
i honestly forget the last time it was safer for us on the ground than in the air dogfighting aliums...
>>
>>19473924
This.

Tickling...right...tickling...
>>
Explain. Violently and with great fury. Right now is not a time to be a kind or rational man. The anger of KrautXMinna still burns within the heart of the PILOT. Everyone short of the brass is getting it today.
>>
>>19473951
Considering the past few days, it's safer for us to be in the air.
>>
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>>19473960
and once that's done, i vote we go drink ourselves silly in the gnomefortress and put up the sign
>>
>>19473951
It's the air. How is that even a question?
>>
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Are we forcibly adding Eila to our growing circle of Little Sisters?
>>
>>19473975
Now you get the gnome plan!
>>
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>>19473976
>>19473970
it wasnt a question. it was a statement. the question, if one could be divined from my post was "when was the last time we WERE safer on the ground"
>>
>>19473975
And plan a great revenge upon Waltrud.

.... Well. Maybe not SO great. We did boink in the kitchen, anyway. But there needs to be something that establishes dominance once and for all, if we have to bring the whole damn base down around our ears to do it.
>>
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>>19473987
How can reisen be that happy?
>>
The archive for the thread is up. Vote it up in the Sup/tg/ archive.
>>
>>19474001
Kaguya is trolling Mokou epically.
>>
I can't believe we're missing our own medal ceremony to deal with this shit. Eila must know how severely she has wronged us.
>>
>>19474000
THE TRIPS HAVE GRANTED ME AN IDEA.

What do we have in the castle? The Press. What does the Press love more than anything? Witches. What sort of photographs would the Press love of Witches more than any others? Naked ones! Which Witch would we like to disgrace in front of the world through the Press? WALTRUD.

Discuss.
>>
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>>19474009
Reisen happiness never lasts for long
>>
>>19474051
No. Bad idea.

Waltrud has probably slept with half the press crew anyways.
>>
>>19474051

Nah. Morale would plummet. And we would have vengeance enacted upon us.
>>
>>19474051
>implying she hasn't fucked the Press
>>
>>19474051

It... IT COULD WORK!
>>
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"So why are you trying to fucking kill me?" you ask politely, like it's a question you ask all the...

... it is, isn't it? It really is, these days. Gosh, isn't life with Witches just fascinating?

"You turned Sanya against me," Eila murmurs, sounding dejected. "It was YOU!"

"What the hell are you talking about?" you say, trying to draw her out.

"This morning, Sanya, she- she slapped me."

You grin happily, proud of your Cossack. "She did!?"

"She slapped me and told me to g-get my hands off her, and to keep my d-distance for a while, and- and then I find out YOU were talking to her!"

"I think you've got the wrong idea-"

"IT WAS YOU!" Eila screams, and the mattress roils with her insulated wrath for several seconds until the combined weight of padding and your restraining palms bears her to earth again. "She chats you up on the tower and comes to bed wearing YOUR jacket and suddenly she's slapping me and telling me off - Sanya - m-my Sanya...."
>>
>>19474051
getting the press probably would end in another draw, because it'd end up being the showdown between the pilot with ALL the medals and the witch with more aerial victories...and...titties
>>
>>19474081
Oh shit

Bitch has possession issues.
>>
>>19474051
This sounds like something that would come back to bite us in the ass in a very bad way.

On the other hand, it sounds like exactly the sort of thing MC would try to get the upper hand in the Great Swag War with Donutski...
>>
>>19474051
What would get us kicked out of the air force for supplying witch porn to the Press? That!

In addition to every German witch coming for our head on principle. The witches are on a tier so above us that is on par with the fucking untouchables.
>>
I'm proud of you, Sanya.
>>
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>>19474051
Hell yeah. Let's do it. FOR AMERICA!
>>
>>19474081
Confront. Con-fucking-front. Don't let her just choke all this out and sob in our arms like a good little sister. She doesn't have that right.

Make her understand that she has Fucked Up. Let her know that this is her fault. Do NOT let her redirect this.
>>
>>19474081
So proud of the little Cossack. So very proud.
>>
>>19474081
"So you're mad 'cause you're not getting any. WEll, I'm not interested, and neither is she, and that's the point, isn't it? You're mad because she finally grew a...uh..." and trail off thinking of those tits you JUST had in your grasp.
>pescow Messiah
No, captcha, not time for hellcow to save us
>>
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>>19474111
FUCKING THIS.

TIME FOR A BRIGHTSLAP
>>
>>19474081
I gave her the coat because she was cold.

Maybe the reason she slapped you is because she grew a fucking spine and didn't want you to fucking grope her like that. Have you considered that option?

What you should do is calm down and talk to Sanya and work out your problems instead of blaming that shit on me.
>>
>>19474081

Aw~ Sanyaaaa. I'm so proud.
>>
>>19474081
I got 99 worries, but a molester getting slapped for failing to keep her hands to herself ain't one.
>>
>>19474081
> My Sanya
SANYA'S sanya, bitch. Guess what? Your little sex gravy train just derailed and crashed, and now you're going to have to rely on confidence and being sexy like the rest of us.

> let her go, smack her ass

I hear Waltrud's giving lessons.
>>
"She's afraid of you, dammit! You're moving too fast for her, she told me but she was too afraid to tell you. So I told her to woman up and I guess she did."
>>
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>>19474081
>MINE! MINEMINEMINEMINE
Fuck you, you possessive, controlling bint.
>>
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>>19474081
>your Sanya
girl, i think you have some mad wires crossed
>>19474111
once we get our point across that Sanya doesn't like her doing things like that we can allow her to get all sobby
>>19474104
>>19474114
we have taught her well
>>
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>>19474001
>implying public autolathe

have fun reloading
>>
>>19474081
Yay, Sanya.

Now, time to tell Eila that all we're doing is helping Sanya, and if you can't deal with Sanya doing things on her own, then fuck you.
>>
>>19474081
Oh dear.
>>
>>19474081
Oh yeah, mention that we don't have time to be sleeping with our little sisters. We've set the date for our wedding.
>>
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If only we knew about Elia's older sister.

Then she would be in fear.
>>
>>19474081

We need to let Eila know that Sanya is our recently adopted little sister, and she had had enough of Eila's shit. It was us who gave Sanya the confidence to finally give voice to how uncomfortable Eila (and we need to stress this) was making Sanya. We need to make Eila know, crystal fucking clear, that we are Sanya's Big Brother....if Eila hurts Sanya, there will be NOWHERE Eila can escape to, she WILL feel our wrath. Running won't work. Hospitalizing us won't work. Killing us won't work. Even Hellcow won't be able to save her.

Then tell her that she WILL help us clean up Adorable Cossack's room.
>>
>>19474081

>"Y'know, I did talk to her, and she told me many things. About how you're always groping her and hanging all over her, and how uncomfortable she is with it. And how nobody else around this damn base was even questioning it. And maybe she wouldn't have slapped you if you weren't constantly harassing her and maybe took a second to find out how she felt."
>>
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>>19474158
given the amount of shit MC's had to put up with from witches today, i don't think he's much in the mood to be joking like that
>MC's life is pretty much the opposite of this chart: "I got 99 problems, and they're all witches"
>>
"She's not -your- Sanya. She's her own person, and it's about damned time she started standing up for herself! You bitch at me about being some sex-crazed fiend when you're the one who won't keep her hands off of her!"
>>
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>>19474146
The very short window of time when you could make 12 guage shells on the goonstation autolathe was fucking amazing.

SO MUCH ROBUSTING
>>
>>19474184
Dis. SAY THIS.
>>
>>19474184
Seems pretty dece.

>>19474188
As does this.
>>
>>19474184
Fucking this.
>>
>>19474184
Why not? Let's go for this.
>>
>>19474081

"Listen you cumguzzling super-slut of a douchecanoe! YOU are the villain here. Maybe, just maybe, if you had put your goddamned hormones in check to even LOOK at the way Sanya CRINGED when you groped her like a madwoman, you'd see that she was uncomfortable. So listen up chucklefuck. Sanya is under OUR protection. She is, officially, our LITTLE SISTER. She has saved MY ass so many goddamned times that I will GLADLY take you on to protect her. KNOW YE NOT THE WRATH OF THE BIG BROTHER! HEAVEN NOR HELL, MARTIAN NOR WITCH SHALL SPARE YE FROM MY WRATH!"
>>
>>19474258
Why does this sound like a post on DeviantArt?
>>
>>19474258
>our
is MC going to start using the royal we now?
>>
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"YOUR Sanya?" you rasp with rage at this affront to your newest little sister. You spring to your feet and seize the thick mattress, hoisting it airborne with your youthful strength. Eila looks up just in time to catch the mattress in the face as you WHUMPH it down atop her with all your might, which isn't much, because it's a freaking mattress. "YOUR Sanya!?" you repeat, WHUMPHing the mattress atop her again. "I don't see the ring on her finger, bitch! I don't see your NAME on her!"

"B-but sh-she-"

"WHAT!?"

"She-"

"DID SHE ASK FOR IT?!"

"But she-" The mattress WHUMPHS again, and Eila squawks as it descends, rolling under the bedframe for protection. "She never complained!"

"Oh she didn't say NO, that makes your greedy ravishing Finnish liberties OKAY!?"

"What the hell do you mean, FINNISH!?" Eila shouts. "They attacked us!"

"So you're conquering her body to make up for lost territory!?" you snap.

"That's stupid. You're stupid!"

"And YOU are a grope-happy violator of Cossack virginity!" you return hotly. "How dare you!?"

"What are you even TALKING about?" Eila shouts, and starts crying.
>>
>>19474273

Either yes.....or we automatically include Robin, Meeafoogee, Linnette, Sean, Ian, and Hellcow whenever we speak.
>>
>>19474258
Son, slathering on profanity and bluster only conveys that you don't know how to communicate well.
>>
>>19474296
Perfect. Now that she's broken, we can rebuild her in our image.
>>
>>19474296
IGNORE THE TEARS.

WE CANNOT BE TURNED FROM OUR COURSE, NOT BEFORE THE MISSION IS OVER.

Also:
> I don't see a ring on her finger, bitch!
If you liked it, then you should've...
>>
>>19474296
>"That's stupid. You're stupid!"

YES

AND?
>>
>>19474296
Good, good, we have broken her.
>>
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Man, the MC is almost as good as making girls cry as myself.
>>
>>19474296
i really shouldnt be laughing at the mental image of MC beating Eila with a mattress. But, once she realizes she was in the wrong and vows to apologize we can work on the road to forgiveness
>>
>>19474296
>starts crying
That's nice.

Keep pushing it until Eila gets that she and has been messing up when it comes to Sanya.
>>
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>>19474208

I always rebuild the QM autolathe in the QM lobby

captain gets so mad
>>
>>19474311
We can rebuild her! FasteR! Stronger! Haremer!

But still, Sanya didn't ask for this.

And I don't think we've said No to the martians yet.
>>
>>19474350
>And I don't think we've said No to the martians yet.
I think the Germans did with their 88s.
>>
>>19474340
What the hell are you talking about anyway?
>>
>>19474296
And lo, all shall know that doom is upon them when the mattress of wrath assails them about the face and shoulders. "Avaunt," they cry. "Avaunt!" But the mattress of wrath knows no mercy.
>>
>>19474350
i think that cannon fire is a pretty good way to say no in lieu of words
>>
>>19474350
>And I don't think we've said No to the martians yet.
Every day, with every fight doesn't count?
>>
>>19474376
>>19474381
Clearly not, because they haven't gotten the message yet.
>>
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>>19474389
then we aren't using enough
>>
>>19474389
Ah, so the issue is that they haven't taken the hint. Or perhaps we're not saying it clearly enough.
>>
>>19474411
Pretty much.
>>
PLANEFAG WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHILE WAITING FOR YOU TO RESPOND. YES I MAD
>>
>>19474411
I think that a few nuclear devices and firebombing their homes will get the point across. It did with Japan.
>>
>>19474444
Oh, wow, Arch-Magos, you're a dick.
>>
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"What the hell? You don't know? You drape yourself all over the girl and get all grabby with her in public, god KNOWS what you've been doing behind closed doors, and you wonder what this is all ABOUT?"

"B-b-b-buut wh-whwu?" Eila blubbers, curling into a ball under the bedframe. "Wh-why?"

Some of the anger drains out of you, and you struggle to keep it lit. "She was too intimidated to complain," you say. "You should've known. An officer... an older girl, with your reputation...

Eila stares at you in shock, tears trickling from her blue eyes.

"You made her uncomfortable. You made people *talk,* Eila. She's not carefree, not like you are. Not with her background... her family. Hell, her *country.* Her papa's old-school, blue-blood, classy profession - Russian. Come on!"

"Buh..." Eila objects. "But I..."

"Didn't respect her," you say harshly. "And she hates you for it."

And then Eila curls into a ball and starts sobbing in earnest.

>DEAL WITH IT, FINNYFACE
>Leave her alone to think about her actions.
>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?
>>
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>>19474444
>fireboming mars
i like the cut of your jib
>>
>>19474456
slowpoke.jpg
>>
>>19474146

>Dat image

Jesus Christ how horrifying.
>>
>>19474460
>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?
god damn it
>>
>>19474460
>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?

HELP ME I CAN'T STOP WHITEKNIGHTING THESE STUPID COOZES
>>
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>Leave her alone to think about her actions.
Come! We have other witches to guilt into tears!
>>
>>19474460
I think she's got the idea. Leave her to think about her actions - we've got a whole shit-ton of other things to do right now.
>>
>>19474460
Drape a blanket over her and leave. Slowly start to feel bad about it on the way to the medal ceremony. Proceed to get sidetracked by SHENANIGANS at ceremony.
>>
[x]Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?

I suspect the MC went over the line with the hate remark.
>>
>>19474460
>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?

I really, really, REALLY want to take this option, but somehow I feel like leaving her to think about what she's done would be more in-character...

But goddammit, there's EXPOSITION to be had here!
>>
>>19474460
DEAL WITH IT, FINNYFACE
>>
>>19474442
>Has never taken part in a Bromont
Sit down son.
>>
>>19474461
>Dat bottom post
Oh god i'm laughing so hard.
>>
>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?
Well, at least hear what she has to say. It almost definitely won't be enough, but maybe it will partly atone for her sins.

The rest lies on her chest and must be alleviated by groping.
>>
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>>19474444

from /k/ with love
>>
>>19474460

>Both sides DAMMIT.

Okay, what's her excuse.
>>
>>19474460
Oh... goddamnit....
>>
>>19474460

Get her to explain later, as we can't possibly give enough fucks at the moment due to our rage. BACK TO HAP!
>>
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>>19474460
>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?
oh god, the whiteknight, its happening again. help meeeeeee~
>>
>>19474491
Nope. She deserved every inch of it for molesting the cossack. The only other side to this is her getting slapped in the face with REALITY.
>>
>>19474460
>Leave her alone to think about her actions.
She needs to reflect on her actions, and apologize to Sanya on her own.

We've got a medal ceremony to attend.
>>
>>19474460
>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?
Hell with it.
>>
>>19474491
>I suspect the MC went over the line with the hate remark.

Yeah I agree there.

>>19474460
And of course the /tg/ pick
>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?
>>
>>19474460
>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?
Now that she's broken we can get her side and fix them both.

This is a lot like mass effect.
>>
>>19474460
Man, so many choices...

>Oh, dear...
>>
>>19474460
>Oh dear, we may not have gotten both sides of this
Big Brother Mode is go.
>>
>>19474460
>>Oh dear, perhaps we didn't get both sides of this?
We broke it, we gotta fix it
>>
>>19474460
"Now listen, finnyface, you can still save this. The other reason she hasn't said anything is she values your friendship. So, give her some space and have a talk with her when she's ready. And in the future, talk with your mouth, not a table."
>>
C'mon, dudes, what the fuck. Thirty seconds ago she was literally strangling us to death. You're going to let that little bit of waterworks sway you?
>>
>>19474460
She is crying and broken, realizing that her own actions may have driven the one girl she cares about the most into hating her! Now is the time to rebuild her, so their relationship my actually grow into one of love and equality!
>>
>>19474554
Yes.
>>
>>19474554
/tg/ whiteknights what can 'we' say?
>>
>You head for the door. "Look... she doesn't completely hate you. She's just uncomfortable with how far you're taking things. Give it a little time, try a different approach, and things might work out." You softly close the door and head for ____
>>
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>>19474554
MC is incredibly tsundere for just about all the witches. this is par for the course
>>
>>19474557
Or she can bring it up with Sanya, letting Sanya vent a little and try to get some understanding between them, simultaneously helping fix it and letting adorable cossack have the upper hand for once.
>>
>>19474554
We just can't leave a girl in such distress.
>>
>>19474554
/tg/ is 20% autists and 80% white knights.
>>
>>19474583
Nope. Leaving her at this point results in her never approaching Sanya again.
>>
>>19474619
Also acceptable!
>>
I swear, we have GOT to be earning credit SOMEWHERE for all our help *un*-fucking the 501st instead of just fucking them.
>>
>>19474613
Those are largely inclusive. The remainder are normal people who just come here for advice building their 40K armies.
>>
>>19474571
THIS THIS HTIS
>>
>>19474626
Ok that's enough out of you. No leaving witches in emotional wreckage. Bad anon!
>>
>>19474631
It gets filed under, "Witches trying not to kill us"
>>
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itt people falling into the trap
>>
>>19474672
>implying we don't know that
>>
>>19474647
No letting witches strangle us, either.

Get the fuck out of here. We have people who aren't actively homicidal to talk to.
>>
>>19474554
Think of it this way. We just beat her into submission, with a mattress, told her the one she's obsessed with hates her, reduced her to a sobbing wreck and now we're going to fix that.
Why? Because occasionally, you have to break the bone to set it right. Or else it won't heal properly.

White knights, bouncing, whatever, what matters is the job well done. If we start actually making it so that some of these witches aren't batshit insane, all the better.
If it requires a little cruelty, a little whiteknighting and whole lot of dunderheaded stupidity, so be it.

Half the quest so far has been fighting every step of the way against the various neurotic reactions and situations from the witches, MC, everyone , that planefag has thrown at us. Least we can do is try to fix things. Small victories and what not.
>>
>>19474672
MC has never been worth a goddamn at detecting traps.
>>
>>19474554
They did this in AWiY, too. Fucking knocked down Marisa's door, trashed her, then trashed her place, left, came back to say sorry, then left again.

Shit's retarded.
>>
>>19474687
The fuck you talking about? We figured out the Fitz was a carrier by riding the beams.
>>
>>19474672
we don't fall into traps. we run headfirst into them and then rely on audacity to not die.
>>19474684
>people who aren't actively homicidal
there's like 5 of em in the entire castle
>>
>>19474685
Least we can do is not be here, as far as I'm concerned. Eila was never our business, except as relates to sanya. That's resolved. We're out.
>>
>>19474554
I don't know about anyone else, but beating her down, bringing her to tears and then setting her straight was the intent from the get go. All according to plan.
>>
Are we permasaging, or have we hit the bump limit?
>>
>>19474745
> 461 posts
guess
>>
Bump limit. We're at 460 posts.
>>
>>19474761
after PF's next post, we'll probably get a new thread
>>
>>19474761
Almost our usual halfway point
>>
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When the fuck do we get:

Pillowfort with Robin, Yoshika, Lynette, Sanya, Chris?
Not-dying lessons with Yoshika and Robin?

Also, we need to put a Cupcake on Minna's desk when she's not looking, and leave a note that says: "From Mr. Young".
>>
>>19474856
When people stop deciding to burn all our time whiteknighting. That is to say, never.

That's one reason I'm so vehemently against this, is because it's so low priority for basically everything.
>>
We really should go check in with Miyafuji and Ian at the rifle range when we're don here. Make sure Perrine isn't harassing Miyafuji for 'stealing' Ian.
>>
>>19474856
Don't forget the Ice Cream raid. Navy fucks need to be taught a lesson.
>>
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Well, I've been kicked from the IRC channel, so I'll remained kicked from the IRC channel. I'm going to deal with it. Nice meeting you all gents. I'll be in this thread from now on.
>>
>>19474856
to quote from the archive:
>We just wanted to [X], and now we're surrounded by horrible things.

eventually we'll get to it
>>19474868
i personally like the idea of our squadmates being in a solid state of mind and not actively trying to murder us whenever possible
>>
>>19474856
With a notable divot in the icing for removed cherry?
>>
>>19474856
>Not-dying lessons with Yoshika and Robin?
This much we've outsourced to Ian and Erica, respectively.

Pillowfort will come in due time. Trust in Planefag and all that.
>>
>>19474885
Good for you. Thanks for sharing.
>>
>>19474885
That was Panzer. You're not banned, he just does that.
>>
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>>19474888
>>
>>19474892
We have an IRC channel?
I want to go in the IRC channel.
How do I go in the IRC channel?
>>
>>19474887
You say that as though she's beating up anyone but herself right now.
>>
>>19474908
It's on the Rizon server, same as the #4chan channel. Our name is #swq
>>
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You've just made a young girl cry like her family and pet kitten just died. What a good job you clever pilot you.

"Uh," you say intelligently, dropping the mattress back on Sanya's bed awkwardly, to at least give Eila the privacy of invisibility. "You really didn't know."

"NN-NN-OOOO~!" Eila sobs brokenly from under the bed. "H-ho-w c-could I kno~ow..."

You are not renowned as the wisest of men regarding "affairs of the kidneys," or whatever they call it on the cover of those shitty drugstore novels, but even you can do some simple arithmetic.

Much like Eila.

You sag with guilt as you realize what you've done.

"Eila..."

"G-go a-away-"

"It's not all your fault. I'm sorry."

Eila just sniffles quietly, so you continue. "Sanya's thousands of miles from home... from her family... with lots of people leaning on her to perform, with people's lives riding on her performance, and she's only fourteen." You sigh. "Just like you. What are you, sixteen?"

Eila remains silent, so you forge ahead. "You're just less conservative then she is, and... you needed somebody. We all do. Hell, even I see how Luuchini follows Shirley around. I missed my sister terribly. You just... it's hard to stay objective."

"Tell it to Sanya," Eila sniffs. "Now she thinks I'm a rapist."
>>
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>>19474885
Oh shush. People get kicked from the IRC all the time and you just rejoined.

I can't find much sympathy for you if you're going to complain about how you're kicked from the IRC and plan to stay out if you join back in two minutes later.

And besides, getting kicked by Panzer is like having a 3 year old kick your shins. A minor nuisance at best.
>>
>>19474908
Be warned they mostly talk about World of Tanks.
>>
>>19474889
You kidding? Between the majority of the voterbase having ADD and the massive amount of Minnafags, we're never getting that. And if we do, it'll somehow involve Minna.
We're never getting a pillow fort.
We're never going to do the ice cream raid.
We're never going to get the chance to do something cool with Zucchini. By the way, she'd probably be some kind of awesome in an ice cream raid.
>>
>>19474929
"No, damn it, she thinks you're overeager. What do you think she asked me about? She told me specifically that she thinks you're her closest friend. She just isn't ready for sexual activities yet. Give her some time. Show her you care for her without touching her. Let her be ready at her own pace."
>>
>>19474929
Well maybe stop raping her then, goofus.
>>
>>19474885
It's called auto-rejoin. Kicking is fucking nothing. Complaining is even worse (unless you get hit every 5 seconds or something retarded). Welcome to IRC in general.

Come back when you're getting random k-lines from IRCops.
>>
>>19474929
Little hard to do just now, she's busy being awesome. Now, if you wanted to help her out, I'm sure she wouldn't mind someone by her side helping tell awesome stories to the press...
>>
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LOOK AT ALL THIS SYMPATHY AND UNDERSTANDING
>>
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>>19474950
>my thread
>somebody saying 'never'
>>
>>19474929
"Eila, just give her a little space. After that, talk to the girl, dammit. That has been the problem all along. Just going with the flow. Tell her where you are at and ask where she is at. Easy as that."
>>
"If she thought you were a rapist, she wouldn't let you hide under her bed. Now chin up and ____"
>>
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>>19474950
given how long its been since the last update, i get the feeling that the waifuing will be much less severe, at least in the forseeable future
>>19474952
this. we've put eila back on her feet again. time to go do other things, like get medals and then get drunk in the plane with them
>>
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In after sad Eila, In durring panzer etc etc

Also fuck you planefag, I missed you
>>
>>19474929
Quickly.
Get her in a headlock while she's incapacitated
Claim victory
Obtain victory snuggles

Then go find Mr. 10 star.
>>
>>19474987
In after panzer
>>
planefag! It is good to see you writing once more.

We do have to check on our people... and Minna should perhaps be left for later, once her temper and that of MCYoung have calmed.

As for Eila... Merely tell her to talk to Sanya, calmly and reasonably about all of it. Eila is more useful to the war effort unbroken.
>>
>>19474975
>we're never going to get planefag to write fapfic
>we're never going to explore the furriness of overdrawing on magical connections
>we're never going to outer space without a space suit without explaining it
>we're never going to single-handedly retake England
>we're never going to get all the witches in one big pantsless harem
>we're never going to develop mary-sue protagonist powers in a setting about being a norm against these types
>we're never going to incest robin

Did I get all of the hot-button arghs?
>>
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>>19474931
>I can't find much sympathy for you if you're going to complain about how you're kicked from the IRC and plan to stay out if you join back in two minutes later.

You're right.
>>
>>19475023
> pantsless
Specifically aiming the other way.
> mary-sue protagonist powers
But we already have those!
>>
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"Oh come ON," you tell Eila. "From what I heard, Sanya moved into YOUR room, not the other way around. And she didn't say anything because until I took her part, you were her only friend here. She might even think you're only into her because of the physical stuff-"

-Eila seems to choke on her tongue, judging from the sounds roiling under the bed.

"-she doesn't have much self-confidence... ah, shit. I don't know, okay? I'm twenty years old, I don't know this shit. I don't write advice columns for the fucking Sunday Paper, okay? It's just - Jesus, I can barely keep a woman happy with me when there ISN'T a war on! Don't get upset just because it's not all roses and unicorn giggles. It's not one of those Chinese cartoon-books, okay? This shit is just, you know, SNAFU."

Eila sniffles, and says nothing.

"I'm sorry," you say meekly, and quit the room.

Whelp.

>Find Hap. MEDALS
>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO
>Other?
>>
>>19475046
Find crew. It looks better if we all get our medals together.
FRIENDSHIP!
>>
>>19475041
That reminds me!
Has our face healed yet?
>>
>>19475046
All the medals
>>
>Other?


Go find Ian and Miyafuji at the rifle range because Perrine WILL misinterpret Ian being there with her.
>>
>>19475041
Except, y'know, for the fact that pretty much every other significant male character also has them. Turns out they're not nearly as rare as they seem to be on the surface.
>>
>>19475046
>Chinese cartoon-books
my fucking sides. so PF does occasionally browse /a/

>acquire crew, acquire medals, acquire booz
>>
>>19474975
Between anon being stupid and the way things just pop up 2-3 at a time, we'll have a hard time doing things like Making up with Minna, having fun chaste times with little sisters, pair our wingmen with Sakabro (Sean) and Perrine (Ian), etc.
>>
>>19475046
>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO

Acquire our crew and swagger on our way to get all of these Medals, we'll need a fucking wheelbarrow.
>>
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>>19475023
>we're never going to get planefag to write fapfic
>>
>>19475046
Crew, I suppose.
>>
>>19475046

>MEDALS REGARDLESS

I will eat a Martian boot if we're putting this off.
>>
>>19475054
We keep getting punched in it, so probably not.
>>
>>19475046
CREW AND MEDALS
>>
>>19475046

>>Find crew. They deserve medals. Even Sean.
>>
WE ALL GET MEDALS NOW
INCLUDING THE PURPLE-IRON HEARTCROSS
>>
Get the crew, then ALL THE MEDALS, ALL OF THEM
>>
>>19475046
Crew! Its medal time. We need to get that shit pinned to use before the sparkles kill us.
>>
>>19475046
>FIND HAP, MEDALS

We deserve a little "us" time. If they want to do it all in a bunch, we can go get the other too idiots.
>>
>>19475023
>Implying he hasn't written several fapfics anonymously
>>
>>19475046
>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO
>>
>>19475046
>Other?
Either Ice cream or the Ian/Miyafuji deal.

Failing that...
>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO
>>
>>19475046
>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO
Yay
>>
rolled 3 = 3

>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO

Bros before shiny
>>
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>>19475068
>Implying things.
>>
>>19475046
>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO
Mustn't forget that we're not alone up there in the Widow, after all.
>>
>>19475046
Pillowfort/icecream raid with Lucc, involve them dirty reporters somehow.

onmepe alcohol- no captia we are not lathering ourselves with alcohol until we get a bunch of non-witch ladies alone inna castle
>>
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>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO
MEDALS FOR EVERYBODY
>>
>CREW

MEDALS FOR EVERYONE!

Is Oprah still doing her thing, by the way? I just had terrible thought.
>>
>>19475070
Of course with Martians as they are it'll just look like you're strapping on a tentacle-gag.
>>
>>19475041
>specifically aiming the other way
why do you think I said "never going to"
>>
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>>19475099
>sanae
>supergreen

HA
>>
>>19475046
Find crew, give medals
>>
>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO
>>
>>19475109
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES
>>
>>19475046
>Crew
Might as well
>>
>>19475116
It occurs to me that between the lack of treaties shoved down japan's throat re: pornography and the general appearance of the martians, this universe has probably delayed mainstream tentacle porn by decades.
>>
>>19475101
>reporters
What? No. This ice cream raid needs to be the Virtuous Mission. Nobody knows we went in, nobody knows we got out, and no kills along the way.
>>
>>19475151
And that is a goddamn travesty.
>>
>>19475151
all according to plan....
>>
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>>19475151
How horrifying.
>>
>>19475151
>treaties shoved down japan's throat re: pornography
wat
>>
>>19475151
>implying there aren't woodblock tentacle porn pictures
>>
>Get on /tg/
>SWQ THREAD

OH god I missed it.
>>
>>19475168
i think he's saying that the censorship laws that gave rise to modern tentacle porn were related to the peace treaties at the end of WW2. i honestly dont know if that's true

genitalia have to be mosaic'd in japanese porn. tentacles do not fall under this rule. hence, tentacle porn=less censorship
>>
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>>19475068
>>
>>19475168
One of the major contributions to japan loving tentacle porn was a post-WW2 treaty basically forcing them to fit america's definition of morals at the time. This included not showing dicks or pussies ever, and hence the generally anatomically incorrect anime vagina and the tentacles in place of dicks. Obviously, this has gotten more lax, but that's a key part of understanding weird japanese porn.
>>
>>19475046
>Find crew. MEDALS FOR YOU TOO

They deserve it for putting up with our shenanigans.
>>
>>19475192
Planefag wrote that? I thought it was the incest dude who wasn't Kotters?
>>
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>>19475192
I hate you crix, I am never playing CoH with you again
>>
>>19475192
Well, that escalated quickly.
>>
>>19475200
I thought tentacles were an effort to have dickings without the pigdisgusting guys doing it.

Funny enough while the US lightened such things in porn, the japanese are pretty slow to. (you'd think they'd be quicker to throw off the yokes the US gave them)
>>
>>19474987
Oh hey cool it's Panzer.
HOW YOU BEEN, PANZER?
GOT ANYMORE TANK WITCHES FOR US, PANZER?
>>
>>19475220
CoH was friggin good...i need to re-install it
>>
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>>19475220
you never want to play anyway
>>
>>19475224
Dealt with a wedding last weekend, and had to wrangle up planefag for information, he also green lighted my special surprised inside
>>
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>>19475224
Don't you know? He said he couldn't keep up with Tank Witches anymore.

I'll be writing it now~
>>
>>19475237
> MC
> using words like Mitigate casually

ah...no? Yeah, gonna go with no on this one. no.
>>
>>19475248
Lovely. Got a date for us?
>>
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>>19475248
>surprise inside
>>
>>19475266
Well, it couldn't get any worse.
>>
>>19475271
Is it dead witches?

Oh boy
>>
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You guys should see what I have planned for unpopular quest~

[nospoilersontg]pic related[/nospoilersontg]
>>
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>>19475269
I'll put it up in the irc once I convene with Planefag, got family flying into the country for a few days this weekend so maybe next week
>>19475276
My wounds! You salt them my good sir!
>>19475283
My name isn't kotters, I don't get a boner from turning my wee polish witches into paste
>>
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>>19475276
>>
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>>19475268
Don't know what you are trying to say
>>
>>19475305
>My name isn't kotters, I don't get a boner from turning my wee polish witches into paste

I fucking hate you.
>>
>>19474504
wtf are you saying
it's been half an hour
>>
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>>19475340
mfw SWQ
>>
>>19475354
Reminding Kotters that he is a sick and deplorable sexual deviant never gets old.
>>
>>19475360
You must be new here.
>>
>>19475360
>getting angry at the tripfriends in SWQ
all in all, they seem like a pretty tolerable bunch, at least compared to trips elsewhere
>>
>>19475369
I'd rather it stop, myself. Not because I like kotters, but because I don't care about him.
>>
>>19475360
I, for one, like our six dozen tripfags and their nine dozen knock off strike witch quests.
>>
>>19474504
Whats a bromont?
>>
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>>19475360
I don't understand this image macro
>>
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>>19475393
Richter Bromont thread. Does some wild and crazy (and popular) CYOAs on /a/. Came to fame for some KS ones back in the day, I think he does some monster girl ones now.

Pic related
>>
New thread soon?
>>
>>19475391
There are only two knockoff SW quests......
And only one is good.....
>>
>>19475416
Hint: It's not mine.
>>
>>19475416
You're talking about Kotters' Sub-witches, right?
>>
>>19475416
Yeah! I know Subwitches started off slowly but it's really picked up pace.
>>
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After some thought, you decide that Hap Motherfucking Arnold, Five-Star General running around base with a crate of decorations is news your crew deserves to hear just as much as you. With that thought in mind, you head for the shooting range to let Ian know of recent events.

Besides, you want some other targets there to distract some of the media jackals when they descend upon you.

You head out the side door and into the eastern part of the island, lush with vegetation. Your mind wanders as you recognize the battlefield where the Martian ambushers hit the island, the vibrant greenery of the island yielding to the bare brown of maser-scarred earth. The inexplicable abundance of waist-high-walls (presumably remnants of Roman-era outbuildings) bear mute witness to the savagery of the battle.

You think of how you head-butted Minna cold, to save her life - and then rushed into the Martian submarine like you were Captain Jesus or something. And that "dead men walking" speech you gave her later, in the cellar. You think of all that "destiny of the pilot is death" babble and wince involuntarily.

Christ, were you really that self-centered?

*Were?*

The muted crack of gunfire brings you back to the matter at hand. You stuff some cotton in your ears before reaching the range, emerging from the bushes to find Ian standing behind Yoshika, hands on hers, helping her aim down the sighs of his M1917.
>>
>>19475416
Sub witches is the good one, right?
>>
>>19475416
Really? I wouldn't know. I never read Kotters' quest. It's nice to hear that someone thinks it's good though.
>>
>>19475416
i enjoy SWQ and its knockoffs unironically
>>
>>19475426
>>19475429
>>19475432
God dammit you fucks
>>
>>19475431
""If you're got a boner you're a dead man Ian"
>>
>>19475416
Eh, I like Kotter's Witch characterization. I don't like his anthropomorphizing the aliens. I don't think this makes it objectively inferior.
>>
>>19475431
"DON'T MISS, YOSHIKA"
>>
>>19475437
They agree with me it looks like
>>
>>19475445
>Kotter's Witch characterization
>implying they have any character at all
>>
>>19475431
"Ian baby, you're famous!"
>>
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>>19475447
>>19475453
the amount of self-hatred here is astounding, yet unsurprising given where we are...unless it's all just an act
>>
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>>19475453
Stop hitting yourself, before you turn into a dead horse.
>>
>>19475431
"Ian, let's go get sparkly!"
give no further explanation
>>
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>>19475416
Maybe you should up your game then, eh Panzer?

Nah, they've both got their good and bad spots. You just need to work on getting yours out some more or at least some.
>>
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>>19475478
YES
>>
>>19475431
"Ian! Fuji! The medal man is here!"
>>
"Oi, we gotta go get medals."
>>
>>19475431
Hey, Ian. We have got some medals with our names on them.
>>
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"Don't fight the recoil," Ian is saying. "You'll never hold it all down, no matter how big and strong you are. It's part of the gun. Work with the gun."

Yoshika fires again, starting a little as Ian's big hand cannon recoils.

"Just ride the recoil. Give it something solid to kick against, and it'll smooth out. And when it comes back down, fire again, when you're ready. The bullet's out of the barrel long before the barrel starts moving; you're just letting the gun... reset, kind of. It's a complete cycle, letting the kick, uh, kick, that's just part of it. Like winding back a bat before your next swing."

The .45 revolver thunders again, then again, rapidly, with the steel plate downrange ringing with two solid hits.

"Awesome!" Ian says with delight. "See, you've got it!'

The next shot misses, and Yoshika visibly quails.

"So what?" Ian says. "That's why you've got six bullets! Or seven, or ten, and reloads. That's why you practice firing several rounds, not one. Just keep plugging away. Even if you don't hit anything, you can work on accuracy later. Gotta start building a wall with the bottom row of bricks, you know?"

Yoshika fires again, and scores. Again, and scores.

"You're not bad," Ian says. "Most beginners start at, like, ten yards."
>>
>>19475446
Yes. YES.
This. Love it.
>>
>>19475510
Bonding scenes. Excellent.
>>
>>19475500
>>
>>19475510
You done good, Ian.
>>
Medals here lads, get it while they're hot.
>>
>>19475510
D'aww. How cute.
>>
>>19475510
why is he teaching her to shoot with a fuckhueg revolver instead of a walther or something? make practice harder so the real thing is easier?
>>
>>19475510
Well done Ian.
>>
>>19475470
>>19475473
Being aware of one's own faults is nothing to be ashamed of. It just sucks not having anyone tell you where you need to improve.
>>
>>19475531
Probably because it kicks like a mule and is louder than an excited sperglord? Getting her comfortable with something like this first smooths out the foundation for learning other firearms.
>>
>>19475531
Given the kinds of weaponry the witches typically use in combat, a large-caliber revolver is plenty small.
>>
>>19475531
No, because the 1917 is a proven fighting pistol The PPK in .32 is not. It is passable in .380. A full sized pistol in .45 is going to move around in a little girl's hand, but the recoil is not very snappy. She would do fine with a '17, if you fitted some slimmer grips.
>>
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>>19475531
Because we're turning her into Ocelot.
>>
>>19475555
And in english?
>>
>>19475544
there's a difference between being aware of your own shortcomings as a writer and constantly belittling yourself
>>19475548
aiming a pistol is somewhat different from aiming a machine gun with strikers equipped, i'd guess
>>19475555
yea, but from what we know witch standard issue is a walther. why teach her something different, unless PF plans one of little sister gifts to be a pretty revolver for meeafoojee...(which she totally deserves after saving our ass so many times)
>>
>Perrine walks in
>Perrine does to Yoshika what she did to Miles.
>>
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>>19475562

her teen years are going to be hell remember snake eater
>>
>>19475572
>there's a difference between being aware of your own shortcomings as a writer and constantly belittling yourself

I'd rather belittle myself than grow overconfident in the absence of critiques.
>>
>>19475588
Or you can do neither.
>>
>>19475588
Why don't you just act like a normal person and do neither?

PROBLEM SOLVED.
>>
>>19475572
We were trying to get that to happen from the getgo.
>>
>>19475588
aye, but there's the rub, aint it. don't get overconfident, but don't constantly tell yourself "i'm shit, my writing sucks, etc etc"
>>
>>19475572
>aiming a pistol is somewhat different from aiming a machine gun with strikers equipped, i'd guess

True, but the point is to get her used to guns in general and there's no sense in using a tiny gun with little kick when she's not likely to ever use such a weapon and has experience with much bigger guns besides.
>>
>>19475600
>normal
>writes and/or reads magical girl fanfiction

choose one
>>
>>19475578
LOOK AT MY GUN! LOOK AT IT! LOOK AT ME I CAN SPIN IT AROUND!
>>
>>19475597
>>19475600
You say that like it's easy to be content with your work, something I don't want to be.

>>19475609
Telling myself I'm not good at writing is a way to offset the natural (and often misplaced) pride in one's work. I'd love to tell myself I did well, but I'd like to actually have done well first.
>>
>>19475619
Well it *is* an act
>>
File deleted.
"Aah," Ian says, when Yoshika's emptied the cylinders. "Now that you've fired that for a bit, lets try that Walther."

Yoshika regards the weapon cautiously as Ian hands it to her, walking her through the loading procedure. "Now, same way," he tells her. "Start the cycle!"

Yoshika assumes a shooting stance and begins plugging away with the Walther, the little gun going pop! pop! pop! as she aims for the steel plate at twenty-five yards, ignoring the misses as Ian instructed her, focusing on keeping a consistent, regular rhythm to the firing.

"That... that was easy!" Yoshika says with glee. "I hit almost every time!"

Ian grins at her, and slaps her on the back encouragingly. "See, that Walther's not so scary. My dad taught me the same way; put a big gun in my hands, then switched to something smaller so I wouldn't get hung up on the big boom and flashy lights."

"It works!" Yoshika says, delighted. "But if you shoot that huge thing, what did your dad give you?"

"An eight-gauge."

"What's that?"

"It's an artillery cannon some asshole put a shoulder stock on, basically."

"Heh," you say from behind him. "Thought your mother would've taught you to shoot."

Ian turns, completely unsurprised, that annoying, permanent state of cool, unrustled jimmies never wavering. "Actually, my mother forbade me guns. Even a fucking Red Ryder, if you can credit it."
>>
>>19475588
Jesus Kotters, just go write another fapfiction, or snuff another Pole and get it over with it.
>>
>>19475578
Ooh, yeah, we better keep Shirley's bike far away from our little Yoshi.
>>
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>>19475640
>"Now that you've fired that for a bit, lets try that Walther."

GET OUT OF MY MIND PLANEFAG
>>
>>19475640
Huh...never knew that was a good way to train someone with a gun.
>>
>>19475669
The only thing I know about guns is 'don't fuck with them', but in regards to other things - swords and swimming come immediately to mind - it can go either way. Either you permanently scare them off and they want nothing to do with it any more nosir, or they realize 'hey, this isn't that bad' and go with it.
>>
>>19475640
Red Ryder. Nice touch.
>>
>>19475640
>Ian turns, completely unsurprised, that annoying, permanent state of cool, unrustled jimmies never wavering.
One day, Kent, one day...
>>
>>19475687
well, in this case, she really cant use the "take her ball and go home" strategy, so she'd basically have to use the second one
>>
>>19475694
Sure, but I was talking more in general.
>>
>>19475643
Panzer, why do you take the name off in /a/'s SW threads?
>>
>We have medals to get