You are an evil sorcerer, gifted in the arts of pyrokinesis and necromancy , worshiper of Fthuhinihathl The Immortal , in the latest installment of your adventures you :Raised a decently sized skeleton horde,destroyed a village,got killed by Orc Chieftainwent to the Far Plane - dominion of your dark master Fthuhinihatl ,got revived,took over an ork tribe, received Hammer of Diminishing Magiccreated a Skeleton Gargantgot a Flaming Skeleton Dog ,alerted the White Stag - the order of paladins eradicating all evil.
>>19468566Wonderful! It's time to get this show on the road!
Your minions include :1.Flaming Skeleton Gargant , an extremely slow but powerfull skeleton , its best not to use this guy to chase down fleeing villagers.2.Flaming Orc Skeletons , a more durable yet slower version of the regular Flaming Skeletons3.Flaming Skeletons , the basic rank and file minion in your ranks4.Orc Chieftain and his Orc Tribe , mind controlling Orc Chieftain gives you full control of his tribe and their actions but to a certain extent.
Glorious zork is here, lets get that council
The White Stag's Leader - Lord Glennavan has dispatched a group of knights against you , calling it "Witch Hunt" , how ether it will take some time before they reach you considering the distance they have to cover.
As Zork, The recapper of plans, I guess it would be a good idea to recap yesterdays plans.The current plan is to go back to our base, And look over the map of the world in our map room
Also if we can build the hammer into the hulk, he will be resistant to magic
ok to the map then
I got cut off. No to the rest of the plan.- Don't have a map room? Make a map room, It'll double as the councle chamber. Second, We need to find a crypt of some kind, And raise as many minions as possible. Then, We need to find the corpses of long dead wizards, One for each type of magic, And convert them to the councle. We'll work on the robes and staves later.
>>19468607You return to your base to look at a map only to realize you DONT have a map in your shoddy little hut, all you have is a summoning circle and a mirror that looks into the Far Plane dimension which you used to communicate with the big man himself .You cannot build the hammer into a hulk because you lack the proficiency to do so, you are a sorcerer not an arcane blacksmith!
Hey, Those tentacle thingies in the mirror looks like a mustache.
Hulk build us a house proper, with a maproom that doubles as a council room!
Go out in search of a large underground cavern, An abandoned dwarven hold, Or a crypt of some kind, Something with a lot of dead things in it and underground. We should make a new base.
>>19468648Well then, we have plenty of workforce, so get them working on a proper evil mansion! Use the undead minions so they wont tell people about all the thousands of hidden passages we are going to build into it.
Also build secret passage way into orc village but don't let any of the orcs now it exist.It could be useful in the future
The next schmuck we come across we need to mind control instead of kill, so we can send them into down to gather information for us. And buy a map.
>>19468722Also, we want them to spread the rumor of the powerful necromancer who will accept as apprentice anyone who demonstrates sufficient magical talent.(These are for killing and using to create our zombie-wizard-council. Because FUCK tangling with real, experienced wizards).
>>19468681You make your way to the nearest krypt to make your homebase only to encounter some Vampires already residing in there, they are quiet evil and powerful undead, far beyond your command and manipulation abilities , in fact their power of mind control and necromancy rivals yours! On top of that they might also know schools of cryokinesisIts a sorcerer duel now~!
Luckly vamps hate fire, so burn those fuckers show them whos baws. Also have hell hound run interference on any spells they may try to cast
>>19468743Must we fight? Can we not propose we join forces and then backstab-I mean, continue to foster our alliance?
>>19468743Raise the flaming undead which there are sure to be many of since this is a crypt. Vampires are weak against fire.
>>19468760ThisIf it does not work then this >>19468761
Wait, Try to reason with them.How about we help each other? We are both evil beings, And think of all the blood they can get from the people we kill!
>>19468768That could work too I guess
>>19468768Yeah we can kill them, they drain the blood and we raise them again as skeletons! All will be happy!
All of this. But also, if they won't reason we try to incinerate one and only one of them very quickly and impressively, then repeat the offer to the other two.
Leave the crypt, have your hulk close the entrance off with a huge boulder, then use your pyrokinesis to make the crypt all hot and stuffy until the camps submit to your evil will.
Hey OP, are you Shwig?You should get a name and a trip for the quest. It is always useful.
So, OP, Did your drawing tools get fixed or no?
>>19468760You propose an unholy alliance between you and the vampires which they outright deny with -"We would rather stab ourselves with wooden stakes than serve a mere mortal!!"Luckily vampires are weak to fire and as they cast their blizzard spell at you , you completely nullify it with your fire spell , whilst sending your fiery pup towards them , that thing really cant move any more slower...As the battle continued unnoticed to the nefarious nosferatus you conjured flaming minions out of the remains of the crypts denizens, they make short work of the two vampires and leave one of them unharmed as a part of your command , also your little scamp has finally reached the destination and took a good flaming bite out of the vampires shambling leg. You use your negotiation skills on the remaining vampire and...Negotiation check successful , the vampire swears fealty to you to spare his undead life. You have acquired 1 Vampire minion , they are cunning, stealthy undead that can turn into bats,mists,wolfs and mind control people on top of also being proficient in all schools of magic.The crypt is now under your control how ether its rather empty .
Good work team!Now, We need to make this house a home.Lets go to the nearest village and plunder some furniture!
First question Vamp about great undead wizards for the council. Second give him a good disguise and send him into towns to get info and look for good aprentices to mind control. Third build map room.
>>19468941>You have acquired 1 Vampire minion , they are cunning, stealthy undead that can turn into bats,mists,wolfs and mind control people on top of also being proficient in all schools of magic.Woah. These guys are baller
>>19468941RAISE THE OTHER VAMPIRES!Oh and start building a huge complex with lots of secret passages as described in earlier posts.
>>19468958See.... no. You DON'T plunder the "nearest village". If you plunder the "nearest village", then goodguys will investigate around that village, and WE'LL be in the "nearest foreboding crypt". People ALWAYS make this mistake.
>>19468976Wait, You're right! What was I thinking!Two options, Either make some skeletons become miners and lumberjacks to make our own stuff, And turn this into skeleton fortress, Or we find a village that is no where near our base, And plunder that!
>>19468976get the vampire to seduce some girls and manipulate some humans. then blame it on the dead vampires. say they have been killed already. or make a scapegoat monster and blame it on him.
>>19468976Agreed also send the skeltons we taught necromancy on 'recrutiment' missions in far away villages.If you don't know what I mean. Tel them to wipe out villlage far away from us and raise the dead
>>19468960Also, this is good because if he's going to flake out at the first opportunity he can do it then. If he comes back, we know he likes us!(/ is intrigued enough by our awesome power to stay under our wing a little longer).
First thing's first you ask the vampire about the local wizard and if there are any worth enslaving or killing ,the pointy eared minion tells you about the BrightOwl cult , a group of powerful wizards specializing in dissipating undead. But it is unlikely that they will co operate in any way. Afterwards you think about sending your skeletal horde of minions to plunder the nearby village for supplies only to be stopped by your own voice of reason , instead you disguise your minion in a less attention drawing form , equip him with a basket, a bag of coins and send him shopping!The Vampire minion has arrived at the nearby village for shopping.
BrightOwl cult, Eh?Wouldn't it be Deliciously ironic if the group of anti necromancers are forced to be necromancers themselves?
>>19469075quite and I heard wizard skin robes are in this season
In the meantime you order your skeleton minions to begin renovating the place,this..will take some time
We have all these minions, But nothing to do with them.We need to plunder something!But what....?
>>19469075This has promise. They must be talented in dealing with necromantic energies (they just aren't using that talent for evil, which is such a waste).At the same time, this is a whole cabal of wizards specialized in neutralizing.. well, us. So, let's not get too ballzy just yet.
We should plunder graveyards to make more minions
>>19469111It is obvious we need a larger workforce. Have the vampire recruit more vampires in a very subtle fashion. See if he can turn the entire village without anybody noticing.
Orc tribe;Intercept the white slab, And attack them, Giving us more time to prepare.
>>19469132Perhaps raid the owls with the orcs, their not undead.
>>19469146For that i suggest sending our signature flaming minions to far away lands and have them create havic theirThat should keep those white knights busy.
>>19469111Do skeletons keep their specialties from being alive?if so, we ought to find some dwarven ruins/cemeteries/catacombs/crypts and raise those dead.
>>19469149If we could piss the owls off and lure them into a trap that would be awesome. They raid our crypt-fortress, then find that they are squishy wizards in a dungeon swarming with undead. This is just a hunch, but for now let's try not to let our vampire know about our command of the orc tribe. Try to keep that semi-secret.Better ideas for an ambush location (ones that don't require us to finish our tunnels back to the orc tribe first) are welcome too.
Right, We need to send the white slab on a goose chase. And we could also use some more supplies.So lets find a village a medium distance away, Attack and plunder that, And leave foreboding clues about a secret lair in the complete opposite direction from our actual lair.
>>19469125As the skeleton minions prepare your lair, the vampire buying you furniture and orcs intercepting the white stag stalling them and buying you as much time as possible , you decide to increase the numbers of your minions once more by going to the local graveyard when SUDDENLY, you hear a familiar rambling.."Bagstard"the same hero which was your first victim of mind control seems to have returned from the land of the dead just to get back at you"I have seen you slaughter innocents, my mind purged by your unholy magic, i have seen YOU die with my last breath , and yet you live..no ...this cannot stand, THIS WILL NOT STAND!"the zealous undead Hero attacks
>>19469164Yes! We need the orcs to kill wizards.Do we have necromancer skeletons? Can we make them? If we can have a necromancer go along with our flaming skeletons (to raise the corpses that they create) that would help, even if it is just a decoy.
GUYSGUYSWHAT IF WE HADA VAMPIRE ORC TRIBETHINK OF THE POSSIBILITIES
>>19469190evil and genius, also if we could leave an explosive trap in the village for those idiots. Also the diversion could be sending the undead in the opposite direction of the mansion we return to
Have our orcs establish a village, and begin.... breeding, so that we have more slaves
>>19469192Push the weakling on the ground and mock him.Does he really think that such a weak little hero like him can stand up to us?Also, Summon some skeletons to kick him around a bit.
>>19469206And have the Vampire turn on us when he gets all those minions?
>>19469192"Sweet. You're back."Take over him again, this time purge his mind entirely.
>>19469192put him out of his misery with a lightning bolt to the brain.he's too mentally strong to be of any use.
>>19469192Fool I did not enslave you, only give you freedom from the blinding light you once served. You could join me again and give freedom to everyone. Freedom and power. As you speak have helhound circle around behind the hero then attack from behind.
>>19469217well, he isn't the original vampire right?so we get orc vampires with the same skills and more physical abiilites as the human vampire, and we kill the human vampire for his troubles. They now serve us.
>>19469192Then if it won't stand then SIT DOWN! Burn his legs off
rolled 25 = 25>>19469192re mind control his piddly ass and go back to using him as a minion once again, he needs to learn his place this time.
>>19469230>>19469220>>19469237"Fool I did not enslave you, only give you freedom from the blinding light you once served. You could join me again and give freedom to everyone. Freedom and power. "As you speak have helhound circle around behind the hero then attack from behind."But if it won't stand then SIT DOWN!"You conjure a fire whip and char his legs off "I w-will return... you will ..never win.."As the corpse of the undead hero begins slowly falling apart in the flame you turn back to your original task. Ah yes more minions,you begin your planning on a move against the BlightOwl cult, weighing the possibilities of simply overwhelm them with almost infinite amount of undead or send Orcs against them
Stupid little hero.Anyway, We should probably get some necromancer skeletons, And position them in the back of the horde. They will raise fallen skeletons, And raise whoever the skeletons happen to kill.
Wait, We need to dig up these graves.I mean, The skeletons and zombies aren't just going to claw there way through six feet of dirt.
>>19469318Orcs kill all the wizards, we raise them. We use orcs because the wizards are anit necro.
Indeed, dig up the graves for more skeletons. Also, see if we can work with the Orc's blacksmith and make a few crappier versions of our hammer.
...Slow day today, Eh?
ah crap,gotta wrap this up atm , got guests over.will return to this shortly.
Is it too late to reverse the plan currently in effect? I think we want burning undead to distract the white stag (because they're our signature minions and make the best decoy), with orcs held back to ambush the wizards.
The skeletons don't even claw their way out, They just pop up! Huh!And what is that strange bar at the left side?Is it an experience bar? Will we level up?
>>19469402the skeleton on the right doesn't look human.what race is that?
>>19469416It looks a lot like the masks the BrightOwls wear.
lets see if we can indoctrinate the orks into service of Fthuhinihatl. Maybe get a couple orc anti-palidins or evil clerics.
>>19469471Evil orc paladinsYES, YES
>>19469471orc blackguardsI'm drooling at the thought of it
>>19469488I approve of this plan!
bump for OP
Everyone just be patient, OP will surely come back.We just have to wait.
I really hope this doesn't die.I like this game.I mean, The first thread got 21 votes on the archives.We made an epic thread.
To continuing planning, perhaps we should make the orc chieftan our first blackguard, so that if our mind control of him wears off, he's at least still loyal to our master, so he'd at least help us even if we control of him
Bump for evil
>>19469701I agree, I don't want this to die like the necromancers apprentice thread
If OP makes a new thread later, can someone post a link back here? I won't be browsing /tg/ all night, but I do want to see if this starts up again. Indoctrinating the orc cult is a delicious idea. Once we've plundered the graveyard we need to consult Fthuhinihathl on this matter.
Let's talk about names for our evil councle, Shall we?Might as well.I vote the Councle of Ultra Neat Things.Or cunt.But that is really stupid, So some one thing of something more evil.
We should hit caravansIt isnt as body rewarding as a town, but it totaly doesn't give us away. FAR MORE IMPORTANTLY it gets us a lot of supplies. We may not need food but we can sell that back and we can use stolen goods to better outfit our guysTrue, they're on fire but they have no armor! no weapons! Our army has very little ranged capability (IE: us and vamp magic)Also usefull is highering mercinaries. Namly ones with skills. Get a theif to steal a magic gem or something like that. You know, small favors that don't directly trace back to us but get us more power. Hell even higher a contractor to defend/fortify our home. Just a job after allWe alrady got the super order of paladin's after us and we really don't have much to combat them with.
We need scouts and spies, people that can stay in town and make sure people aren't plotting our demise, we also need eyes in the forest.
>>19469888We should get some ranged weapons (bows, slings...) and train the human skeletons in their use.
>>19469926Could also stand to get them armor, even if it is just leather or whatnot.
>>19469888Forgot to mention that caravans are hit by bandits all the timeHell if we use our Orcs no one would bat an eye or point a finger at us. We can also use those mercinaries we mentioned before. Or just raid it with our good ol' troops and hope no one notices how on fire everything is and points to usAlso those owil guys need to be chated with. We don't need to kill them or get them to join us but we need some sort of truce to make sure they don't join the paladin folk. That'd be a horrible combonation for us
Who here has read the Evil Overlord List?
>>19470178Been a while, Might have to read over it again.
>>19470193For convenience here.http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
we also need the vampire to teach us ice magic
Get off of /tg/ Schwig and work on fucking Broquest.
one last shameless bump for OP
You carefully observe your two new minions before setting one of them on fire, you notice one of them wears masks described by your Vampire minion hmmyou gained BrightOwl Priest Skeleton minion. Your Necrodermis powergauge is half full,according to Fthuhinihathl's Grimoire of Great Necromancy, once a necromancer amasses enough power from raising legions of undead, his influence will ascend beyond mortal realm, allowing him to ascend at will.But for now you plan on going back to your lair to see how...Whoa, for a bunch of rattling bones they work pretty fast.
Teach the BrightOwl preist how to use necromancy.Go down hallway to see what the skeletons have made down there.
>>19470378Consult Fthuhinihathl on how to sanctify our orc tribe in his name.
Good, good.Now lets go talk to orcs, and introduce them to our master, and make some blackguard.
We need mount people.
>>19470404We need to make a bone Golem for us to ride
>>19470415Why not start simple and have a centaur skeleton or demon horse?
>>19470448Let do this.
>>19470448Demonic skeletal centaur
>>19470378Send some minions, spare orks are a definet, to raid some caravans and supply lines. Orks get first pick of loot if we use em.If we send undead minions makes sure they don't let a single witness escape and burn any evidence.With any luck we'll be able to outfit our guys
Remember everyone, Look through the evil overlord list.We need to be as genre savvy as possible!
>>19470505He right as matter of fact I am reading it right nowwww.eviloverlord.com
>>19470401>>19470397>>19470387You teach your BrightOwl minion Necromancy and now he is BlightOwl Necromancer.You ascend downstairs and into the tunnel that leads you to a big room that is totally .....fuckin .....empty.Well it seems our darklord Fthuhinihathl influenced your own minions to build a gateway to his dimension in your very crypt , how convenient to the current situation. You consult Fthuhinihathl on how to sanctify your orc tribe in his name."Oh BuT ThAtS SiMple RealLY, All TheEY hAvE tO DoO iS gEt RiD of ThEIR ShAmAN, YoU SeE HeR inFluENce OvER ThEIR TRIBE pReVEnts Me FrOM ReaChing oUT tO ThEM"Now you know what to do to have an army of blackguard orcs , kill the orc shaman.
Name for me to be recognized byAlso, demonic horse/centaur
>>19470529Scry from a distance and use a lightening strike to kill the shaman.
>>19470529Put a lock on that door. If the good guys kill us again the least we can do is protect our god a bit.
>>19470529Name owl "Blight Owl"Because it's coolThen, try to convert their shamen instead of just killing her. the unconverted won't take to kindly to a shamen removal, but if she starts preaching something different, well, we get them allBesised, corruption is cool and extra evil
>>19470529We want to make the orc chief kill the shaman. Give him back the antimagic hammer first.
>>19470529Have the orc cheiften accuse the shaman of something really really bad in orc culture and have the orc tribe kill him.Problem solved.
>>19470529Lets get to it! Find the Shaman, then have the Chieftan kill her. Don't want the orcs turning on us of they're angry about her death. Then begin the indoctrination
>>19470529Snipe from maximum range.
>>19470572>>19470573>>19470577Alternative. Have the chief out the shamen and appoint a new oneOne we teach
>>19470571Blight owl?Fuck yes.That is cool.
>>19470592YES, YES! This is the best way
>>19470523>>19470232We need a 5 year old advisor
I'm glad to see everyone is being evil.
If we've learned anything from our last ordeal with the orcs its that we are grossly underestimating something here. Maybe we should meet the shaman first. Get to know some things about her before we make a plan.
>>19470632We should make that Vampire an advisor. I mean it is kinda shitty for an imortal to follow someone like us, reguardless if we beat him silly or not, that said he can teach us a lot from his experience, and he deserves some respect due to all the cool shit he can do
Seduce the orc shaman and make her your dread queen
>>19470661Good point. Let's meet the shaman, then begin our plotting
>>19470632Better yet; Make the five year old a creepy undead five year old that knows necromancy!And in her free time she sings nursery rhythms in a really slowly and creepy fashion!
>>19470675Ih yes,If he ever comes back form shopping.He could very well just find a new crypt.
>>19470696As cute as it is creepy! MAKE IT SOJust some commoner kid or a survivor from a raid, not some noble kid. We want to be low key
Have statues made of fire skele and twin sword skeleWe will remember our fallen heros and it gives the other undead something to strive for
>>19470689As you approach the shaman's tent you see a large oversized hunk of green meat , figuring its the shaman you try to initiate conversation to convert her for Fthuhinihathl and..AAAgh..What IS THIS THING.."Speak"How do you asses the situation?
>>19470759We'll call the room"Pantheon of the twice fallen"
>>19470809Turn on the swag and sweet talk her into accepting him.
>>19470809GREETINGS! HAVE YOUR HEARD THE GOOD WORD OF LORD FTHUHINIHATHL?
>>19470809Ask her about orc religion. Remember that we're supposed to be subservient to the chief and right now are just learning about the tribe. Don't stare at her tits.
>>19470809Fuckable, sweetTalk religion, ask her about her god, tell her about ours. Small talk, complement her on her hide and ask her if she slayed it herself.You know, get to know her
>>19470809She's kinda hot.Literely, If things don't work out on converting her.Anyway, Talk about her religion and slowly change the subject to Fthuhinihathl. If she doesn't want to convert, MIND CONTROL.If that doesn't work, FLAME SPELL.
>>19470844She's the one protecting them from Fthuhini's influence, so I don't think the mind control thing would fly. Don't try it.
>>19470825>>19470832>>19470837>>19470842>>19470844Suave necromancer is go
>>19470844just talk. we are not going to go immediately into shooting fireballs if things don't go our way. We talk and then we leave.
I wonder...Where do our minions go when we aren't around them?I didn't see them hanging around the lair.Do that just go hang out in some other place? Do we have some sort of hammer space for skeleton minions?What do they do in their free time?
>>19470809Sing the opening number to the Book of Mormon musical, but make it about Fthuhinihathl.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmp-xmguqh4
If all else fails do not be afraid to run away.
>>19470844Killing is always a bad idea. Risks alinating the entire tribe and puts us at major risk.If things go south we have the chief throw her out and get a new shamen we corrupt from the startSpeaking of, after this find other orc with magic potential in the tribe and make he/she OUR shamen. Might as well get started on it, very worse case we get another magic minion
>>19470871bring minions to sing with youit can't be done solo.
>>19470871We're not some god damn Jahova's witness.We're not going to preach like mad at her, that'll just piss her off.We'll TALK religion, hear of hers, tell her ours.
>>19470905That said, after we hear hers we can totaly sing a song to describe ours
>>19470905I know, But it's still a funny idea.
>>19470905It's good to have comic relief now and then.
>>19471047True, but an Ork shamen will probably not get it and may kill us for it.Humor is great, but living is much better
whatever, BEGIN THE PROSELTYZING!
>>19471071RightWe should reserve our sense for the heroes
We should suddenly switch alignment to good and open an udead construction service.We can undersell any other labor force and go for the economic victoryNaturally our fist big bunch of gold we make will be twards rebuilding that toun and reperations.We're "really sorry" about that
>>19471097I meant >sense of humor
>>19471111Nice try, Knight of the white slab.
OP is busy drawing a huge Broadway production starring flaming skeletons.
>>19471136It's white STAG- i mean uh....uhY-you too
>>19471111I heard it's better to be loved and feared than fear and hated
waiting for OP general
>>19471195No! The White Stag must be defeated, because of our incredibly tear-filled past, which enigmatically looms in the background, haunting the heroes with the question: "Why?"As they lay, sweat-drenched and aching, writhing in their sleep, awakening in a jittery, pathetic shape, they must face the truth of their quest, to face us, and fight us. But first, they will ask the question: "why?"As their resolve weakens, and as their curiosity overtakes their sensibilities, we reveal just from whence our hatred of humanity stems. And they shall weep tears of regret, and feel the cold wind of shame, for it will be some pretty academy award nominee level of sad shit.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiARsQSlzDc
You perform the longest persuasion check of your lifetime
Zork we need a recap of our plans
>>19471327Did they buy it?
>>19471327Well, fuck.That's the most awesome thing I've ever seen. I think I should quit music. I'll never be able to create anything as fantastic as THAT
>>19471327>>19471164Oh shit, You're right.
>>19471327How did we even sing "Fthuhinihathl"
>>19471327<3 This thread should never die.
>>19471327good work, OP!
>>19471350http://vocaroo.com/i/s0XxdDlinNfUMy best estimate
>>19471330Don't look at me, Even I don't remeber what our plan is anymore.
Persuasion check success, the shaman explains to you that in general Orcs live by might makes right rule , worshipping the god of war Crosis how ether the Orcs would gladly follow Fthuhinihathl if his champion defeats the avatar of Crosis in a single combat.
>>19471404She wants to fuck.
>>19471404We're gonna burn this fuck to unholy cinders, right?The champion, I mean.
>>19471376what the fuck dude
>>19471416My thoughts exactly.
>>19471404...Single combat... Champion...Fuck... We need a clever ploy, or mind control.
>>19471417and then rase him as our champion.That said I do not like our ods. This guy's going to be an Avatar after all. That ain't good.We got an anti magic hammer and I don't think it'll be enough.Ask our god if we can be his avatar or send an avatar for this combat, i mean it's worth it for all the sweet folowers for him. He should accept
>>19471404Find out who is the champion and try to learn more about his capabilities
>>19471417Hell yes! LETS DO T-Did she say singular?Oh fuck no, We can't do shit without at least 15 skeletons.
>>19471376I'm laughing too hard to properly strangle your ass for wrecking my eardrums.
SEND IN THE HULKAMANIAand control him yourself with your tactical geniuslike an RC car
>>19471459>>19471455What he said! We ask to become a champion and fight for out god!
>>19471404prepare for indomitable meat-wall champion
>>19471404Let's combine all of our minions into one giant champion.
>>19471327>mfw I don't have enough face to respond to this
Guys.We need to make a new champion, one that can't be felled by mere physical might.We need to make a GIANT Blood Golem.We make a GIANT Blood Golem, and then we set it on fire.
>>19471475FUCK NOthere's no utility in it. We need troops for the mundane tasks and such. That and this guy is a fucking avatar of a god. They'd still stand no chanceWe need equal god powerAQUIRE MORE BODIES! LET US ACCEND OURSELVSES!
>>19471487CAN WE DO THAT?>Breentu LargerApparently, we can make it EVEN BIGGERBIGGER THAN GIANTCOLOSSAL
>>19471487It needs a skin cloak as well. We shouldn't forget the skin cloak.
>>19471487we'd have to bleed out a lot of dudes for that. This is becoming a very circuitous plan
>>19471487YES! YES! YES!
>>19471487Have our god bless this blood golemFUCK YEAH
Wait for our vampire to get back with the furniture, then do some interior decorating while our vampire defeats the champion
Sorcerer Quest: THE MUSICAL
>>19471526Rule of Cool trumps everything else.
>>19471465Sorry, but it IS the eldritch name of an unspeakable horror from beyond the Veil.Also, if it makes you happy, my tongue is currently some kind of octopod which, quite frankly, has no business being in my mouth.
>>19471583Anon is right, let us learn more of the championCaptcha:unlawful. aookermOP! LAY SOME LEARNING ON US!
To everyone who read the Evil Overlord list, here you go on Evil Overlords 102:http://www.forbes.com/sites/alexknapp/2012/02/13/five-leadership-mistakes-of-the-galactic-empire/Aim high!
I had a dream about this quest last night. I was the sorceror. I made a flaming cloak which teleported me to see a girl who was apparently a love interest of some sort. But when I was at home some local hooligans put out the fire on the cloak, destroying the magic. Then they had a staff and I took it from them but it went off and launched a thing which shot arrows everywhere and one of them got my mom, but she was okay because it only pierced her fat. Then I woke up.
You ask your god for more power to defeat this champion, surely he will understand the situation and .."nO, ThErE iS lImIt oF EnRGy i cAN cOnjURe inTO tHIS wOrld, uSe yOur bRain!"Well that settles it, seems like you will have to rely on whatever will be handy when fighting the avatar of Crosis.You would fit to conjure a gigantic blood and fire golem right now but unfortunately your short trip to demonic Broadway has drained most of your magical energies , it seems that you are pretty screwed.The Shamaness has gladly agreed to take you to the avatar's arena to see your victory firsthandAs you approach the arena you see a small tiny old man sitting on an enormous cliff which extends into unseen abyss...can this man truly be the Avatar of the God of War?
>>19471676Alright guys, Be careful. Do not underestimate him.For all we know he could be one of those bad ass old people.
say hi. Be polite to him.
>>19471676The old man is probably a monkTREAD CAREFULLY
>>19471676"Sir, you have a truly glorious beard"
>>19471676Aww shit, it's an old fucking man. Now, knowing Lu Tze, we know not to overestimate him. If we absolutely have to fight him the first thing we do is break off the tip of the cliff that he's sitting on.
>>19471720As good a start as any...I suppose.
>>19471676"Hello i am [redacted] how are you this evening, sir? The view is quite nice up here"
challenge the old man to a game of jacks. while he's looking up at the ball to catch it, push him off the cliff.
Use Coup de Grace and instakill old man before he turns around. We aren't heroes for a reason!
>>19471749what if he can fly?
>>19471676...ask him if he wants to worship our god?
>>19471728>>19471720>"Hello i am [redacted] how are you this evening, sir? The view is quite nice up here">"And may I say sir, you have a truly glorious beard."
>>19471750>>19471749If he's a monk that shit won't work
>>19471705>>19471720>>19471728"Ah thank you young man, always nice to see new face around here, its been quiet some time"you ask some time since when?"Since someone tried to challenge the Avatar of Crosis, the only man that has ever challenged the Avatar and lived to tell about it..i think his name was Glennavan, a bright young fellow that one ,very skilled with the sword and white magic "
>>19471676"You are the avatar of Crosis? I honestly was expecting someone more... menacing I guess"
>>19471777Ask if he could tell us more
>>19471777Oh he's not even the dudeSay that it's not really personal, hell we just want blackguard orks. Tell the champ to let the orcs know that they can totaly worship both or, if the champ doesn't like that kind of thing. We recoup a bit before the fight.We so can't take him it isn't funnyPerhaps set up a date, rules, and arena for the event and ask him what it's like to be an avatar
>>19471777"Sir, if you do not mind me asking, are you the Avatar? Forgive me but I was expecting someone more...sinister in appearance and disposition."DIPLOMANCER MODE: INITIATE!
>>19471777"Oh yeah, good old Glavannan! He's an... acquaintance, you could say, so, how did you two meet?"
>>19471777"Glennavan? Really? He was my...my nigga"
If he IS the Avatar, and does soundly break our ass in two, at least he would know that we were a polite young man.
>>19471819The Best Evil is polite and gentlemanly Evil.
>>19471777ask how that fight went
when we do kill this old man I say we bury him respectfully.
>>19471866Hell no. It's in our religion to live after death. We'd be respecting him BY bringing him back to live forever.That said he'd totaly be in advisor roll
>>19471872/tg/ almost universally agrees that if you are the Villain you should be a perfect gentleman and fine upstanding member of the World.It makes you look SO MUCH better in contrast compared to the usual band of "Heroes".
>>19471875thats our religion not his.
>>19471875Kinda like......a monk Kel'thuzad?
>>19471875>>19471866Let him choose thatAfter-all we should respect his wishes
>>19471895Rule number 40: I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.An undead avatar of a god counts.
Do we have to challenge him RIGHT NOW? Can't we come back later after we get all our energy back and can kill him with fire?
>>19471918he wont be an avatar of his god after we kill him and resurrect him to serve our god.
what ifwe made his godserve Fthuhinihathl
>>19472014That would be quite the feat....Would be hard as hell. I don't think it'll work out.
>>19471819>>19471809>>19471814>>19471801>How did that fight went?"Well Glennavan was an excellent swordsman even in his younger days , but it solely wasn't enough to defeat the Avatar , eventually he was struck with a mighty blow from the Avatar and was on the brink of death how ether , it seems that Crosis had another plans for him so as Glennavan was waiting for the final blow, the Avatar retreated back to its lair , I still do not know why , gods reasoning is far beyond ours is what i understood from viewing avatar for so long ">"Oh yeah, good old Glavannan! He's an... acquaintance, you could say, so, how did you two meet?""After the fight , Crosis spoke to me , he demanded me to take care of the wounded knight , make sure he recovers to full health and continues his journey , and so i did , no questions asked , no answers given ">"You are the avatar of Crosis? I honestly was expecting someone more... menacing I guess""Oh no no no, i am simply priest of Crosis , i guard this sacred place but i am not the Avatar, you howether, should look down "
>>19472080Say loudly "I LIKE THE SHADE OF RED YOU USED FOR YOUR ARMOR, VERY BECOMING OF YOU"
>>19472080"...Sup."Well uh shit that guy is pretty fucking hugeBut that might work to our advantageShadow of the colossus it up?
>>19472080runrunrunrunrunrunget out of there
>>19472080Right. Well. Fuck.
....Fuck.JUMP ON HIS FACE!
Go inside his helmet.
Right, so we challenge him to a game of chess then?
>>19472080Ask the priest for assistance in how to talk to the avatar, maybe he can give some insight on the guy
>>19472080well thats something...Burn the thing alive using the old man as a meat shield!
>>19472080Continue to be incredibly polite.
Wait! Guys! We can do this! All we have to do is gather our power and...Sing another musical number!IT CAN NOT FAIL!
Shit son, the Avatar is HUGE. We must wait before creationg our own champion, preferably that Golem we were talking about earlier
HE IS THE AVATAR OF WAR IS HE NOT?THEN WE CHALLENGE HIM TO WAR!A THUMB WAR!
>>19472198His thumb is still way bigger than us.
combat war: running. the other guy was spared cause probably because he impressed the god or something, i dont think running aways gonna cut it
>>19472198his thumb is twice our size. Flthuldude said we had to use our brains. We have to out wit the behemoth.
>>19472198Challenge to a riddle contestOr challenge him to a cake bake offOr a skeleton animating race
We could point out to him that he is the Avatar of WarAnd that War is simply a means to deathAnd that in the end, war ultimately serves to further the goals of deathSo he should join us, and venerate death itself, as opposed to the servant of death.
Here is what we do; Make him slam his arm/weapon down, Climb on arm/weapon, Climb up his arm.
>>19472252And go all SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS ON HIM
>>19472252>>19472097Do you know where his weak point is?
Engage Doom Marine Protocols after Giving a Proper Declaration that we wish to challenge him.
he is a bing of magic. the hammer diminishes magic. maybe the hammer with shrink him?
>>19472272His crotch plate.
>>19472262>>19472252That will not workOur lord said to use our brainThat is not particularly clever in this situationA master swordsman got splattered by this fuckWe probably aren't quite as... physical as that
Play risk. Start in australia
>>19472274We're low on magic, our god can't help us, and it's a one on one fight and your suggesting to fight him NOW!
>>19472080Convert to CrosIs
>>19472313The only thing that stops me from that is my pride.
>>19472247This sounds good. Hell just get him to convince the Orcs that they can worship us and him at the same time and it's all gravyBlackguard berserkersNOT A DAMN THING WRONG WITH THAT
"Well it seems like our chat time is over , good luck out there , and hope to see you in once piece, remember there are things sharper than a sword and more deadly than a fireball "The old man leaves you to face off the giant alone >Say loudly "I LIKE THE SHADE OF RED YOU USED FOR YOUR ARMOR, VERY BECOMING OF YOU"the avatar seems to be unhindered by your exclama..OH SHIT!With a few accurate backflips you manage to avoid major damage and land on the giants hand
The sword means something! Grab it and set it aflame!
>>19472247>>19472353gotta be kinda careful though, orc gods and gods of war generally arent known for their keen love of rhetoric and philosophical demate, dont wanna start with 'well sir, war is merely a subsection of death and *get crushed by giant red arm*
>>19472372Grab that sword, run the FUCK up to his head, and whisper (shout) into his ear."UR A FAGOT AVATAR!"
>>19472372Grab that sword, it might come in handy. Then make your way up to his head, you want to be inside his helmet.The thing sharper than a sword is your wit, and the thing hotter than a fireball is your ass, so you don't really need the sword, but it might be nice to have anyway.
Maybe if we get inside his helmet, he will crush his own head in his attempt to get at usWe don't know if he's dumb as fuck or not?
>>19472416worth a try
>>19472416If he isn't dumb as fuck like we expect, it still gives us an opportunity to insult him.Might even to, quite literally, piss in his ear.
GRAB SWORDRUN UP ARM
climb in his dick hole and eat his heart from the inside
>>19472453Can we set our piss on fire?
grab sword, inject poison through cut
>>19472372GUYS LISTENWe cant do SHIT to himHE CAN DO SHIT TO HIMSELFSTOP HITTING YOUSELF EVADE MODE IS GOstill get the sword as it will help us stay on if he tries to shake us off.
[spoiler]To be honest i have no resolution thought up for this fight because i was making shit up on the go , didnt really looked too deep into it , one of the reasons why i never DM or play board gaems [/spoiler]
>>19472493Then perhaps work it by rule of cool?
>>19472493>Implying there has EVER been anything wrong with making shit up on the goSome of the best STORYTIEMS /tg/ has known have been caused by DM's making shit up on the fly and rolling with it.
>>19472493[spoiler]Then make it difficult but not impossible. Continue playing it by ear[/spoiler]
>>19472493Thats the way I play, Bro.The best plans are the ones you make up on the fly.
>>19472493Making shit up as you go is the best way to DM; having pre-written scenarios leads to railroading and other bad stuff.
I... ermUhCould we try and get our minions to burrow in to him and just dig around and tear him apart from the inside?Perhaps have our Flaming Skeleton Giant try and crawl in to his mouth and rip him to bits slowly
>>19472493We'll make it workHell you just had to do a musical.
>>19472511>>19472493because we wouldve got a badass religion conversion musical number if this had been planned before.using the ears to play by is often the best way
>>19472543Gotta be One on one if we wanna go about it Legit.
>>19472493We're in a giant mountain-like crater-thing.Can we use our magic to get the entire thing to collapse, burying the champion?
>>19472543I like this idea, but going in through the mouth is extremely risky because teeth.If this plan is going to succeed, we need to sneak in from behind.
No you fools! We're like a mosquito, we even have a proboscis (Sword)! We'll sting that fucker's face, then run while he hits himself to death.
>>19472551Run up to its head, and,>ACTIVATE MIND CONTROL POWERS
>>19472574This is risky plan
>>19472611It's better than challenging the avatar of war to a sing off, or getting it to eat us.
>>19472587He's an AVATAR of a GODwe do not have the power to do that even if we weren't drained from that musical.We gotta be smart and we can't stab him to death.Our best bet is using him against himself. We have no other options.
If only we some rope and a grappling hook
>>19472493(Not that there's anything wrong with continuing, but if you feel like you need time to think things over, well... this IS a climactic stopping point. )
You grab the sword and set it on fire, the result of your arcane magic and the magic within the sword cause a chain reaction!The Mysterious Sword begins shining a bright ray of light at Avatar's head.
>>19472627We just need to use our mind control powers so our god and his god can fight over control of the avatar, while we stab the fucker in the eye.
>>19472661MORE FIRE PUMP IN MOOOOOOORE FIREalso move yo ass
>>19472661Shine it in his eyes!
>>19472661SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS MODE: ENGAGED.
we are going to take our magic stopping hammer and drive that sword right into his colossal skull like a burning spike of Fthuhinihatl
>>19472661pointing to a weakspot maybe, i still vote for running to the helmet and stbbing the hell out of it
>>19472661(...shadow of the colossus?) Try angling the light all over to see if something happens.Also climb dat shit.
We need to crawl into his ear and get into his brain and fuck that up.
>>19472717I thought the same thingBut let's do this first>>19472710
Seems like pulling out the sword has triggered another event, you suddenly see soldiers spawning from the avatar himself.. it is likely that Avatar felt you finding the sword so he takes action immediately
>>19472787I suggest running.
>>19472787>one on oneFucking cheating avatar. They look fleshy though, could we make undead out of them/him?
I think this thread is autosagingwe have +300 posts
>>19472787AH HA! That's against the rules. Granted it might be part of him but the fight was ONE on ONEHE MUST ACCEPT DEFEAT IN VIOLATION OF THESE TERMS
>>19472787It's simple.We kill the Avatar.
>>19472811WAIT.What if everyone of his Mini-Selves has a Skeleton?Then it would STILL be in the rules if we resurrected their bodies to fight for us!It would be the equivalent of making him punch himself in the dick, but hey, loopholes exist to be exploited.Kinda like a crackwhore.
>>19472787THE CREATURES ARE NOT SENTIENT, YET OF HIS POWER - AS ARE OUR SKELETONSNO MORE BARRED HOLDS, MOPTHERFUCLER
Pull some skeleton minions out of that pocket dimension where you keep the minions when not in use.
>>19472787Burn them and then reanimate them if we can, otherwise just burn a path to the brain and stabUnless he voided the rules, in which case WIN
What should the description of the quest be?(I am archiving this thread)
>>19472914Flaming skeletal minions and one cheating Avatar.
>>19472803>>19472811"B-But that's impossible but...NOOOO CURSE YOU TERRIBLE WRITER OF THIS QUEST "Somewhere in a distant pocket dimension of Land of the Crimson Throne "THIS IS FUCKING BULLSHIT!"Crosis is outraged by the default defeat of his cheating avatar.
>>19472940Tell our God we've outwitted him in his honour. The orcs are ours!
>>19472940Inform Crosis that he is, in fact, a Double Nigger for creating an Avatar that is even CAPABLE of cheating in an honorable contest.
>>19472914The Sorcerer gains new digs and new alies. Some by combat, some by musical. Then we fight an Avatar of the god of war.
>>19472940Haha! Breaking the fourth wall, I respect you!But we win! How clever are we?
>>19472940/tg/: defeating indestructible avatars of war through rules lawyership.
>>19472940"Our wits have bested the champion! The orc tribe bows before MY god now."
>>19472981Sounds about right
the kind old priest subsequently has a severe crisis of faith "this IS bullshit"
>>19472940FIRST LINE TO THE ORC SHAMEN WE MUST SAY"Well, that wasn't too hard. They even gave me a free sword">>19472965Let's not anger a god of war. Afterall an avatar needs to be able to wage war so it would be silly if he couldn't do that. He just used it at the wrong time.
Priestess"Crosis...is a rather strange god..."Old Man "OH MY GOD"and on this note ends part 3 of the Evil Sorcerer Quest
>>19473115That's right you little old fuck, Fthuhinihathl guides my hand and with his wisdom, I am unstoppable.
>>19473115First off, Don't you mean part 2?Second, Whens the next one going to happen?
>>19473115good show, OP.I hope we get more show tunes in our next installment. Do you know what time you'll start this up again?
>>19473146This is why im ending it now,i cant even comprehend numbers due to how fucking late it is..>>19473147same time as usual , its around 6 pm my time and im in GMT +2In the next Sorcerer Quest installment : Dwarfs and Elfs , beard or no beard?We discover the meaning of the word rhadmsaughn
Wait a secondarchived this thread yet some of it is not showing up in the archive
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Evil%20Sorcerer%20Quest,And as one more note, This thread has already been archived. Feel free to vote on it!
FOR NEXT QUEST TO DO LIST (in no order)1) Make Vampire advisor or right hand2) Raid caravans to outfit our troops3) Ork Blackguard4) Blood golem5) pantheon of the twice fallen6) Get a lock for door to our god7) Upgrade our crypt base more8) Truce with the Owls9) Get more bodies10) 5 year old creepy kid advisor
>>1947320811) Train human skeletons in use of ranged weapons and armor.
>>19473208Oh man we should have the vampire teach out blood golem Ice magic. That way it can harden it's body if it needs to
>>1947320812) Fuck Orc Priestess13) Recover from wounds
>>19473247We need to learn ice magic ourselves
>>19473302Should we start up some logical plans of action prior or keep it simple and on the fly. My only thoughts are that we should try growing facial hair of some sort. Something that we can impress certain folks with. I mean how do we come up with any dastardly plans without a mustache to twirl here?Plus if we ever meet any dwarves, they might dig that kind of thing. I just hope that our hair isn't wispy.
>>19475851>35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.Read the overlord list, Dude.