rolled 5 = 5fuck yea
The year is 2012, and you are Vivenne O'Mailley, newest student of Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. You, along with the rest of the other students- your classmates, you realize, are standing in front of a real goddamn big door. I mean, huge. Like, big-as-a-house kind of deal, you know? The woman who escorted you here, Professor Vetinari, starts talking, her voice ringing out like a clarion above the chatter."Ladies and gentlemen! It is my great honour to welcome you all to your first year at Hogwarts! Now, when these doors open, we'll begin the Sorting, and you shall all be welcomed into your new Houses! It will be alphabetical, so if we could have the A's in front..."She continues giving instructions, as you wheel around and ask Lorcan about all this."What's this Sorting, then?""No idea," he replies. "Mother said it had something to do with a hat.""Oh.""I'd assume it's the bit where we get, you know, Sorted into Houses and all that." Lysander says, grinning. His brother punches him on the shoulder, rolling his eyes. Lysander's reply is cut short, however, by the opening of the doors, and revelation of what lies therein.
Unsurprisingly, magical bullshit abounds.And also a hat. Singing hat. What?You vocalize this to Lorcan, who shrugs. Eventually the hat stops singing. Professor Vetinari, standing next to it, produces a scroll of parchment, and starts calling out names. "Andrews, Jonathan!" A small, nervous-looking boy breaks from the pack of first-years and has the singing hat reverently placed upon his head. About a second later, the hat shouts out "HUFFLEPUFF!"This continues for a while, until finally..."O'Mailley, Vivenne!"Ohgodohgodohgodwhathappensnow>Time for y'all to work out which House would best fit her character. Cheers.
Perma-sage is when a janitor or mod is buttmad, but can't actually ban a thread since it is board relevant.>Just thought I should tell you
YES!Okay, looks like we're good. Previous threads can be found on foolz, specifically right here:>http://archive.foolz.us/tg/thread/19242307/#19242307And it looks like we're leaning towards Ravenclaw at the moment, though I hear Slytherin. Anyways, make your minds up in about ten minutes and I'll get writing.
>>19266138RAVENCLAW!!Learning, knowledge, wit and cleverness. That and it doesn't have a giant neon sign saying "evil" on it. The other good possibility Slytherin also hates people who aren't purebloods, like us.
>>19266166That seems like kind of an assholeish thing to do.But I'm sorry for whatever I've done, mod. Let me know how I can repent and I shall.
>>19266179Ahem.It's been about, what fifteen years since Voldie? Been sensible here, there's a real likelihood they've shaped up.
Slytherin because it would be more interesting.
>>19266170Still voting for Ravenclaw.The search for knowledge fits us better, and Slytherin is nothing but amateurish backstabbing politics and treachery. You want politics?! You want real diplomacy?! Then go for international diplomacy and negotiations, not the weak-ass shit that comes out of Slytherin.
>>19266181I think that there's a janitor who thinks quest threads shouldn't be on /tg/. Moot himself has said that quest threads are fine, and in fact, encouraged to move to /tg/ if they are on another board.Also Ravenclaw
>>19266198Yeah, if your definition of interesting is never getting actual work done because we're always getting pulling into bullshit drama.
>>19266188Old habits die hard, the more traditional families probably would still have a bit of a grudge. Some of the newer ones might not mind as much, but there's a lot of history here. It wouldn't be outright bullying, but they probably aren't quite as welcoming as Ravenclaw would be.
SLYTHERIN! We're ambitious and daring, and also intelligent. We are studious, like the Ravenclaws, but we have a burning goal on how to apply our studies. We also need to change the whole Slytherin=evil stereotype.
Putting up a vote for slytherin
>>19266203We're not going to Hogwarts to make FRIENDS like some sort of puerile childrens show. We're here to devote ourselves to the magic arts and anything that pushes others away from us is ideal.Friends are just liabilities and excuses for truancy!
>>19266219We're 11, aren't we? Bullshit drama is all we have.
>>19266138WE SHALL BRING LAW TO THE LAWLESS, JUSTICE TO THE VILLIANS AND SMASH EVIL WHEREEVER WE FIND IT WITH A FIST OF PUREST MAGIC!SLYHERIN WHITE KNIGHT.
Alright, we're tied between the two. You guys want I should leave it to chance, or let it play out?
>>19266244If we go Slytherin do you think we'll have any good chances to study? Most of our time will be spent dealing with everyone trying to plot and scheme to beat us. If we go Ravenclaw all the academic competition will come in the form of people trying to study harder than us. RAVENCLAW
>>19266244And you think that is to be had in Slytherin? Where they will all either be trying to manipulate us, use us, or interfere with us because they want to keep us down?Slytherin is nothing but liabilities.
>>19266255roll some dice or something... do a d20, 1-10 is Slytherin, 11-20 is Ravenclaw
I'm going to say Slytherin.According to that Pottormore thing, Merlin himself was in Slytherin....Of course, I always thought he predated Hogwarts, but whatever.
>>19266248That makes no sense. The Sorting Hat would pick up on that and put us in Gryffindor, if we had a justice streak like that.
Does that mean that their kids are here?By their I mean Harry and them.
>>19266284Nope, not for another three years.
>>19266278The hat will put us where we want to go, or maybe that was just for that asshat Potter, who knows, damn useless piece of felt.
>>19266288Oh.What about Neville? He's the Herbology proffesor right?
>>19266266How about learning other things that aren't written in books? There are things worth learning that extend beyond mere abstractions.>>19266268Then we will be the wolf and not the sheep.
>>19266300Head of Gryfinndor, at that. Vetinari is Head of Slytherin, Flitwick is Ravenclaw, and the Astronomy Professor, Catter, is Head of Hufflepuff.
>>19266315The point of what we're trying to do is to create a framework of magic based upon the Scientific Method, leading to a deeper understanding of the fundamentals of magic, which were lost with the fall of Atlantis. Being the wolf leaves no time for our research, if we must constantly be on guard against others. We are trying to sufficiently analyze magic so that it becomes indistinguishable from science, and we don't need or want distractions from that goal.
>>19266356You won't manage that in Ravenclaw, they will be so entrenched with traditional views on how magic is supposed to work. Many of your teachers will be dependant on those ideas. They will have written books and papers on which their careers hinge and you think they will give you a pat on the back as you try and destroy their lives work and overturn millenia of magical theory?
You steel yourself, and slowly walk up to the stool. Professor Vetinari smiles at you, and as you seat, she lowers the hat on your head. For a few moments, it seems as though it's not working properly... and then your hear the voice of the hat inside your mind.>Well now.Well now?>Indeed. Hang on a moment, I'm trying to get a decent read on you. It's ridiculous, it's like you're shouting at yourself.I swear I'm sane. Mr Hat. Sir.>Dr Hat, to you, kid. All right, a vast span of intellect I see in you. I also see ambition, quite a bit of it at that. Common enough split, this. But I must ask you a question.Shoot.>Would you rather uncover your full potential through strife, or uncover a significantly less-than-full potential through peace?You ponder.
>>19266382And you think that Slytherin would be even better, with its traditionalists and throwbacks? They're just as dependent on the status quo and the old order, they're just better at taking advantage of it.
>>19266356A lofty goal, what was it that Twain said? "You aim for the palace and get drowned in the sewer." Besides, there are many fine examples of scholarly Slytherin.
>>19266382So you want us to avoid entrenched tradition, by joining perhaps the most traditional of the houses? The one known for its love of purebloods, that may be lesser now of course, and so on. Ravenclaw embraces learning, if we can prove something to be true it will be accepted. If our ideas are interesting then we can band together with other interested parties and learn even more.
>>19266394Peace; let us torch our young minds with the scars of the world in fucking middle-school.
>>19266394Strife, we will overturn the standing academia and usher in a new age of understanding!
>>19266394Hey there Dr. Hat. I'm guessing that you're trying to gauge which house I'm going to. The real question is why strife would bring me to my full potential, and peace wouldn't. That is a remarkably odd way to phrase it Dr. Hat.I believe the proper answer is the third one, I'll take peace and hit my full potential anyway. Strife distracts from learning.
>>19266432>I'm pandering to the voices in your head. It's very technical.
>>19266394"I wish to uncover my full potential, yes. However, my parents have always said that more can be done through peace and the culmination of the collective cultural knowledge than through strife which may lead to the loss of knowledge."
>>19266432Pain is the great teacher.Peace and harmony for everyone would be terrible tyranny for us now wouldn't it?
Full potential! Did Bors half-ass it? Did Van der Waals, or Copernicus, or Curie? Of course not! We'll choose strife if it means throwing back the curtain of ignorance that shrouds magic! FOR SCIENCE!
>>19266394"As the old saying goes... nothing ventured, nothing gained... I want to be all I can be. Strife it is, then."
>>19266394Strife, I guess
>>19266448But peace back in the homeland is what has allowed the massive leaps in science since the Enlightenment. Wars within the nation suck away resources from basic research and learning. Most of our advancements have been when the nation itself has been at peace, even if there is conflict elsewhere.
Strife, you decide.>Hee hee hee.Did you just giggle?>I'm an eight-hundred year old hat, dearie. I'm allowed to.So, what do I get?"SLYTHERIN!"That last bit was out loud, you realize. Professor Vetinari beams as she removes the hat from your head. She gestures to a table on the far side of the room, and pats you on the shoulder as you walk over. Your new Housemates smile and offer hands and names and all that good stuff. Of course, you all become much more composed as the next few names are called out, until the Scamanders names' are called. "Scamander, Lorcan!""SLYTHERIN!""Scamander, Lysander!""RAVENCLAW!"Lorcan grins as he takes a seat next to you, and Lysander waves at you from the Ravenclaw table. >You've now got a little while longer to ask any questions about Hogwarts. Specific stuff, mind, you've already got a general overview from Hagrid.
>>19266511"So, what format do the classes here take? And is there any kind of, well, magical version of a PDA or laptop? Or are we going to be taking all of our notes by hand?"
>>19266511>Where do we sleep?>Anyone know what classes we have to take? Is there like a credit system?>General do's and don'ts.>Professor to stick to and stay away from.
So, are there any labs open to students? Is there a place in Hogsmede where I can buy beakers, flasks and other equipment? Does the library have stuff about Theory of Magic? Where's our homeroom? Do you mind if I smoke?
>>19266511So guys, Slytherin. What can you tell me about it? I'm not exactly versed in all this wizardy stuff. We still rivals with Gryffindor over there? Do I have to take notes by hand, because I must say that's rather archaic, but this is a wizard school so it'd make sense.Tell me about the professors I should watch out for, who I should really work at staying on their good side?
>>19266551A few people look at you oddly. "PDA?"Another girl next to you answers."There's nothing like that, unfortunately. Notes by hand, unless you've got something like a Quick Quotes Quill.""Eh?""Sort of like a recorder. But it writes. It's magic, I don't have to explain it."
>>19266599>"It's magic, I don't have to explain it"Man, that's exactly the mindset we're going to have to get through to get any real work done. Ah well.
>>19266599"Oh. I wonder if I could make a magical version of a laptop. That would be cool."
>>19266599Do they have any non-magical items like say, a telephone?I swear first job is to learn "Conjouration - Laptop"
>>19266599>It's magic, I don't have to explain it."Oh, that is going to get old fast. But thank you. So you're familiar with technology too, then? Do you know if anyone has tried to create a magic laptop? That would be really handy for looking up stuff."Oh, I haven't introduced myself. Vivenne O'Mailley."
>>19266599You guys really are luddites. I mean damn. Have you never heard of computers? You could fit an entire library, a really big library on a hard drive worth $100. I mean damn, you guys have never thought about integrating this sort of thing?Vivenne O'Mailley by the way.
>>19266565>The Common Room, in the dungeons.>Defense Against the Dark Arts, History of Magic, Charms, Transfiguration, Herbology, and Astronomy. Oh, and flying. You get more electives in your third year.>Don't hex people, don't be stupid, don't annoy the upperclassmen. You'll figure it out.>Professor Vetinari is excellent, of course. The Defense Professor is amazing, old Colonel Clarke is probably the best teacher here. We've got a pretty new one for Transfiguration, Professor Schmidt. Some kind of genius, he's barely eighteen and he's teaching already. Professor Longbottom is, well, decent. Flitwick and Catter are all right, Catter's a bit weird though. Binns bites.
>>19266633Our end goal for that should be a Bluetooth dongle for our wand and a magical laptop that allows us to fire off spells from batch scripts so fast that it appears that we're cast 10 spells simultaneously.Because fuck the traditionalists, we're bringing magitek to this world.
>>19266572No, yes, yes, dungeons, hell naw, nigga.>>19266577The same girl answers. "You ever read Discworld?""Yeah?""We're basically all trying to be Havelock Vetinari."
Careful, guys. We risk convincing the others we're an aspie if all we do is drone on and on about shit these guys aren't interested in. We should tone it down, make allies, then convert them to our glorious cause.
>>19266688We need to introduce ourselves to this girl, she seems like she might be a good friend."You're kidding, right?"....You're not kidding. You remember what happened to all of the people that wanted to become Havelock back in 'Making Money', right?"
>>19266643The girl smiles. "Yeah, I'm Muggle-born, I'm afraid." She smiles and extends her hand."Sarah Sisserman.">>19266710You're not the only one doing this. A lot of the other first years are asking the same questions.
>>19266688Well, OK. In that case, they shouldn't mind our studiousness - we're hardly going to present a huge threat to them, politically speaking. We'll be like Leonardo of Quirm to their Vetinari. Also, we must buy some cigarettes when it's legal to do so - calms the mind wonderfully. This quest thread brought to you by Marlborough.
>>19266669This pretty much, I don't think anywhere in this place has electricity or any form or wireless connection. Though we could just make use of a normal one if we could figure out how to keep it charged. Creating electricity, or to these backwards fools, lightning ought to be simple enough. From there well, the only thing beyond that is to remove the need for a wooden stick to cast spells.
>>19266717She laughs. "Not quite that literally. When I say Vetinari, they all think of the Potions Professor. Bit of a coincidence, huh?"
>>19266719"Charmed, I'm sure." (We reciprocate the handshake)[Let's be really careful with this one shall we lads?]
>>19266759"Yeah, that is a funny coincidence. I wonder if she even understands why some people look at her funny. "So, seen any good movies or played any video games? I remember Hagrid saying something about technology not working too well on school grounds, so I doubt I can get a 3DS to work here."Get to know Sarah better. I like this girl.
>>19266784You think she might be angling to use us?As a fellow Muggle-born, it would be in best interests to have us as an ally
>>19266800No, but I want to test the social waters, see who's who before we make a potentially disastrous social decision. We don't want to be seen as the sick, poor and benighted, huddling together under wet rafters for warmth.
>>19266831Let them think that. We'll show them they're wrong with our technology-enhanced magic and our new Standard Model of Magic. We don't need their approval, because we'll ram it down their throats.
>>19266849I'll defer to your judgment then.They say that if you're really good at a game, you can fool others into thinking you're terrible at it. Let's just hope we're not overestimating ourselves.
Yeah though - this is Slytherin. We need to watch ourselves, because we're not from old money or anything. I say we be courteous to everyone, but not necessarily FRIENDLY YAY until we know the pecking order.
>>19266849No need to stir the waters until we are ready to begin our revolution. For now we should just keep to some light socialising, get a whos who of the people in our house. The names and faces of people who are important and the like.
>>19266900That and friends don't exactly HURT, as long as they can be trusted. Being in Slytherin just makes having a few people we are sure are our friends more valuable.
>>19266890>>19266900And this is why I didn't want Slytherin. Bullshit we have to deal with. We have to learn who people are. We have to be careful of who we befriend or antagonize. We have to watch our backs.All shit that detracts from our studies.But we're here, and we have to make the best of this situation. How's our financial situation anyway? Are our parents able to support us well, what with the exchange rate of Muggle pounds and Euros to Wizard gold coins?
>>19266947Probably pretty ratshit. Still, I bet we could work out something to earn us a little money. After all, they don't seem to do anything with tech.
>>19266947Consider our tenure here in Slytherin impromptu test of intrigue, tact, wit and composure.Like I said, there are paths of learning outside of books.
Eventually, the Sorting ends, the feast is had, questions are answered, and an old woman rises to the podium in the front of the Hall."Students!"You shoot a look at Sarah, who answers. "Headmistress McGonagall.""Now that we're all fed and drunk and whatnot, there's some issues that must be addressed! Firstly, Professor Schmidt will be returning as Transfiguration Professor! I'm sure you all will extend to him the same courtesy shown to him last year! Furthermore, the matter of discipline strikes a further blow! Those of you engaging in Professor Colonel Clarke's after-class activities must be aware of the new rules imposed upon you by the good Professor! Generals, report to him tomorrow, after class!"Another look at Sarah who looks equally perplexed. "No idea.""And finally, if any of you feel like trying to find some great lost secret of Hogwarts!"You cock an eyebrow."Don't. Dismissed!"Your House rises as one, and the Slytherin Prefect, one Saryesh Patil, shepherds you all down to the dungeons. Oh god, that sounded a bit weird, didn't it? I mean, down to the Common Room. Yeah. Well, he leads you to a dead end. Painted on the wall is a huge, ancient mural of what appears to be a snake eating a snake eating a snake. Wow. Saryesh steps towards the smallest snake, flicks it, and addresses the crowd of students. "Observe." He turns and says, simply, "Anguis!" The snake Saryesh flicked slithers out of the mouth of the larger snake and slithers it's way into the shape of a door. Magic, you guess.
>>19266997Hey, the cutting edge of scientific discovery can be pretty goddamn cutthroat too. These skills will serve us very well. Besides, if we know the right people HELLO FUNDING.
>>19266999>snake eating a snake eating a snake.Is the third snake biting the first?
>>19266999Stick with Sarah and Lorcan. We don't really know any other people.
>>19266999Your classmates walk inside, and the Common Room is revealed to be..Pretty awesome, all told. Huge, spacious, lit with green-burning torches and trimmed in faded green leather and black wood. Groovy. You and the rest of the first-year girls are ushered into a short hallway, full of doors."Everyone gets their own room, thankfully." Saryesh explains. "Pick one, tell the doorknob your name, and you'll find your things in there.You do so.>Now, would everyone like to continue, or should I stop for the night?
>>19267020I don't think they are quite that self aware.
>>19267020No.>>19266947No, you're alright on money. Hell, your dad's a physicist, your mom's a geneticist, of course you're going to be okay.
>>19267041I'm up for continuing if you are. This is fun. Still, don't overwork yourself if you've got as far as you planned.
>>19267041Continue if you're feeling up to it.
>>19267053No, it's an issue of me typing slow. And it's only going to get slower, I still need to invent characters.
>>19267067Typing slow is fine, just let us know when you start typing, or are done for the night.
This is fun.Ravenclaw dude. Even though I prefer Slytherin and insisted on it in a most irritating matter, you're still a bro.So, how well does our meager lodgings fare? Any cool shit scribbled under the drawers? Arcane hexes, scurrilous etchings regarding anyones mum?
>>19267041>"Everyone gets their own room, thankfully."Sucks to be you, Gryffindors! We're already experiencing Slytherin luxury.
>>19267111Your room seems to be clean, but a closer examination reveals some carvings on the wall behind the dresser... is it some kind of ancient magical bullshit rune!No, it's just a pair of goddamn initials. BB.Stupid.
>>19267133That should be a question mark, too. Damn.Alright, typing up your first day, hold on for a while.
>>19267133Well, start unpacking. Get our stuff in order. Once done, read through the magic textbooks we bought.
>>19267147We should probably look for some advice on controlling this power. Can't go blowing the roof off every time we wave the wand.
>>19267182Or better yet, talk with Sarah and Lorcan about that.
>>19267195Is Lorcan... Handsome?(We are an adolescent girl after all)
>>19267214We're 11. Shouldn't those kinds of thoughts wait for our Second Year at least?
>>19267235Oh right. Gross, cooties.
Your room proves to be, ultimately, really goddamn comfortable. The bead, though rather spartan, is still cozy as hell, and the covers and fireplace (filled with the same green flames that lights the rest of the Common Room) are wonderfully warm. You start unpacking, and eventually decide to turn in for the night. You crack open one of your new textbooks, and eventually fall asleep, dreaming of the wonders of Charms class.You wake up rather early, and decide to get ready. First day! Aren't you nervous. Let's see, you've got your textbooks, magical bullshit stick, some other crap, time to check out the rest of the Common Room. You venture out from the first-year hallway and into the main room, which is rather oddly occupied. You didn't think that many people would be up by five, but whatever. He looks to be a seventh-year, by the goatee, and is laying on one of the leather couches, reading. You wanna talk to him?
>>19267245Sure, talk to the goateed man. Ask if he has any advice for getting around this place, we've heard the staircases are unreliable at times.
>>19267245If we wouldn't be intruding too much.
>>19267245No, stay away and observe. We don't know who he is, and as an upperclassman, we don't want to approach an unknown like that.
>>1926723511? Actually, no, that's right about the right age to start get your first awkward crushes. Not the right age to really know how to act on them, but she'd likely notice shit.
>>19267301Seconding this one. Don't draw attention unless you know it's safe.
>>19267245Goatees are dangerous, observe him cautiously before we decide if we're going to approach.
>>19267258You rather hesitantly approach."Um, hello?"He doesn't appear to have noticed. You wonder if that's just sort of part-and-parcel for seventh-years, ignoring short things and remaining aloof and stuff why is he snoring oh.Welp. You decide to let the dormant seventh-year sleep, rather not risking his ire, and instead check out the Common Room in greater detail. The room is quite comfortable, sort of like a bank, almost, but what really catches your eye is the huge goddamn window that looks out under the lake. Shit, is that a giant squid? Holy hell.Eventually you manage to kill enough time until other people start waking up, and you get a chance to meet some of your new classmates. Sarah and Lorcan seem like they'll get along well, thankfully, but a few of the other students seem like they might be, well, difficult.>Edward Parkinson, who looks to be something of a jackass.>Simon Sanji, who looks to be something of an alright guy. Quiet and calm.>Saryesh's younger brother, Bhavya, who looks to be essentially a younger copy of Saryesh.>Minnie McMallan, an Irish lass, who seems to be flirting. With all the first-years. Not to mention the goateed seventh-year, who just looks at her and snorts.>Valentine Cranshorn, who is completely insufferable.>And yourself, Sarah, and Lorcan, of course.I'm probably going to knock off there, is that all right with everyone?
>>19267432And also, more detailed profiles of your classmates available upon request. I didn't want to go into too much detail in case I went over the size limit.
>>19267447A little more about Simon Sanji. English-Japanese?
>>19267486Indeed.Simon is apparently a half-blood, with his mother a witch and his father a Muggle. He's got this real air of dignity about him, and from the way he holds himself, it looks like he knows some kind of martial art. Looks relatively Asian, and doesn't seem to get along with his father.
>>19267432awh.... this was cool....
>>19267447Did we get a name on the napping seventh year once more people were about?
'Kay, I'm done. See you all tomorrow, same Bat-Time, same Bat-Channel.
>>19267560You caught something like 'Nathaniel', but no last name.
rolled 16 = 16>>19267561thank you i enjoy this quest even when we were the mad Arab