"Are you incapable of failure when it comes to women?"
"You're fucking kidding me right?"
"You have NO IDEA how badly I've been fucking up."
"Lets see, shortly after I started dating Erica, we found ourselves in the elevator down to R&D. She had disguised herself as her sister to mess with people, and upon seeing through the disguise I stopped the elevator and surprised her."
"That sounds spur of the moment and romantic."
"It was, but that's not the full story. Turns out, the elevators have cameras in them , so it was also something of an amateur porno shoot."
"Gets better. After having THAT conversation with Mike, I gave Erica a copy of the tape to surprise her, as a 'haha look how bad we fucked up'. She then went to lunch with her sister, and since I didn't think to warn her about the tape's content..."
"Wish i was. So there's Ursula, a shy nice girl, who I had just discovered had a crush on me, gets to see a video that starts out with her apparently being sexually assaulted by her sister's boyfriend, and rapidly turning into something a bit kinkier."
"How the HELL did you fix that?"
"No fucking clue."