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  • File: 1332187716.jpg-(10 KB, 197x255, IT COMES.jpg)
    10 KB Coffee-Kun !!h7gIe9JHEEj 03/19/12(Mon)16:08 No.18382252  
    Less than three hours /tg/. Less than three hours until FATALquest starts. I keep my dark oath, and it shall begin at 7PM EST. However, knowing the hell I went through understanding how the game "Works" took a while. In order for me to half ass this, here is the most horrifying corner of the web. The free copy of FATAL.
    Prepare yourself /tg/. I shall not post again until this quest thread begins tonight, beware.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:13 No.18382306
         File: 1332187998.png-(309 KB, 400x476, full retard.png)
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    ... why would you do this? What the actual fuck OP?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:16 No.18382332
    OP threatened to do this if /tg/ did not quit on some bullshit or other. /tg/ did not comply and now reaps what it has sown.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:17 No.18382346
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    >> Fuckass !7uPpJALpGw 03/19/12(Mon)16:19 No.18382356
    rolled 35 = 35

    rolling for anal circumference
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:19 No.18382365
    Adding thread to watch list. This should be interesting.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:20 No.18382370
         File: 1332188434.gif-(1.28 MB, 273x192, hipster deal with it.gif)
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    ... /tg/ has no need for moral avengers, mods or others for stuff like this. Besides, it's just a quest thread. Even if OP keeps his promise it's not like anyone is going to do a Fatalquest. The quest thread won't even get beyond character creation.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:21 No.18382378
    You forget that some people just want to watch the world burn...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:22 No.18382392
         File: 1332188557.jpg-(57 KB, 406x411, not going to argue my dick is (...).jpg)
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    I'm excited.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:25 No.18382418
         File: 1332188746.jpg-(41 KB, 150x203, Dissapointed man with a stern (...).jpg)
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    I am reading the rules, how the hell will anyone manage a FATALQuest? Is the OP insane? Is there any backstory other then him getting pissed off by whatever troll thread?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:29 No.18382449
    FATALQuest? On my /tg/? Excellent...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:29 No.18382453
    World burner, checking in.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:31 No.18382475
    I think CHART QUEST would be a more appropriate title.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:33 No.18382491
    No fucking kidding. FATAL is infamously horrible for charts for every god damn thing.
    >> noko+dice+1d100 Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:55 No.18382721
    Scrub, heres how it is done
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:56 No.18382725
    rolled 54 = 54

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)16:57 No.18382733
    Guise? What if OP is tracking thread? And makes that the Anal Circumference roll?
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)17:00 No.18382762
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:05 No.18382802

    your anal circumference is ready, you mean
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:06 No.18382810
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    Here's to playing an anally experienced toddler! HUEG anal circumference.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:07 No.18382817
    Can we all agree to roll an Anakim? Their trait table is fucking hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:07 No.18382821
    Why not just say fuck it and try a free-form rapefest? You might actually be able to play a game in this abortion of a setting...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:08 No.18382826
    rolled 46 = 46

    we wouldnt be too bad... i guess...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:11 No.18382856
    If the batshit crazy OP decides its cool to not roll for race I will agree to that, we can strike back with max trolling potential.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:13 No.18382871
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:17 No.18382906
    Welp at least we are taking this in stride. I think OP will break before we do.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:19 No.18382931
    Almost definitely. He has to roll a bucket of d10 and reference a dozen charts every step of the way, while we just have to sit back and watch the trainwreck.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:19 No.18382933
    You mean break his sphincter?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:25 No.18382982
    Op could use dice engine on here. Or maybe he does have a bucket of dice. Who the hell knows.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:37 No.18383104
    I would love a quest thread where OP rolls a bucket of dice in a youtube video every time he rolls.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:40 No.18383147
    Is this for real? OH HORRORS!!!!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:42 No.18383168
    7 pm eastern time? I'll be here!

    >Captcha: The cycustor
    sounds dirty
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:46 No.18383224
    actually I could see a way to play fatal

    if one would put the effort into creating a program that could automatically handle the most complex rolls and table lookups it would eliminate most of the waiting time since 1d100,000,000 is easy for a modern pc

    if one tortured soul would do that, it would become possible, with some DM discretion disregarding BS rolls, to play it

    where do we find a man with enough depravity, dedication and programming skills /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:49 No.18383253
    that actually sounds like a really fun project if you're into both programming and roleplaying antiquated systems.
    Too bad I'm no good at programming.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 03/19/12(Mon)17:50 No.18383263
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    >>FATAL Quest
    >>Gotta roll anal circumference
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)17:53 No.18383303
    Just use java.
    int a = new (int) (math.Random() / 100000000 * 1, I think.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:56 No.18383337
    It wouldn't even be that hard

    you just need to either hardcode or provide an additional file for all the charts, then create a fairly simple method that can handle multiple dice rolls depending on input and output either a number or a part of the chart and an easy way to select which type of roll just happened

    perhaps with automation for multiple rolls that always happen in the same sequence (like character creation) and maybe a function that can give you a short list of possible rolls depending on what word you typed in

    then add something resembling a GUI (nobody needs fancy for FATAL) and you're good to go

    its just tedious to get all the lists in the program, but if it just reads them from text files that can be handled easily enough by a large community effort. Just 900 people, each 1 page and type it into a specifically named text file which the program will then read
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:57 No.18383342
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:59 No.18383363
    that requires some looking up and allows human errors and would generally wast a lot of time

    we want to make FATAL as painless as possible since its often a lot of work looking up everything in a book, if it just outputs your character at the press of a button, outputs the spell effects, success, components needed etc etc at the simple press of cast "x" rather then having to consult a 900 page book several times, if it just calculates all wounds and severity

    then we could play fatal if we perhaps adjust some mechanics to make it playable
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)17:59 No.18383368
    Well that makes this easier. I guess.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)18:01 No.18383389
    Never going to EVER happen.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:05 No.18383423
    True Dat. You ready for this?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:05 No.18383427
    lots of games have more complex LUT's and calculations

    if its computerized and sanitized of contradictional rules it will become playable

    it doesn't work on tabletop because of the immense rulebook and dicerolls but neither would say dwarf fortress for exactly the same reason

    not saying it would be SANE to play fatal but it would become possible
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:09 No.18383468
    rolled 7 = 7

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:28 No.18383666
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    So, uh, guy's...I was just quickly flipping through the PDF and I found this.

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:29 No.18383686
    You thought we were kidding about it being a crime against reason?

    We were not.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:31 No.18383707

    FATAL is the most realistic Pnp game ever.
    Did you not see the Spitting Skill?
    Or the Wheelmaker Profession?
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)18:32 No.18383719
    Nice satan trips. We weren't kidding about this being possibly the worst thing mankind has produced as a species.
    BTW, here is a review of FATAL. Its funny, but the game is horribly disturbing.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)18:33 No.18383735
    Forgot link.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:33 No.18383737
    Yes. You have to pass a skill check to successfully get off.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:33 No.18383738
    S..So...Does that mean we can dump everything in ejaculation and shoot things with our high powered money shots?
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)18:35 No.18383756
    Yes. This is that kind of game. Excuse me, I'm just going to curl up in a corner and cry for the next half hour until OP starts the quest.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:35 No.18383758
    its possible to put so much points into the urinating skill you can literally piss forever

    any engineer here capable of devising a weapon powered by infinite piss?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:39 No.18383796
    How do you calculate the pressure at which piss leaves the body in FATAL?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:39 No.18383805
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:41 No.18383823
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    And the Random Magical Effect table gets you there too.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:41 No.18383825
    I don't have a pdf at hand could anyone look that up please

    I do know its possible to ejaculate so hard it squirts out of the female so men can gain a reasonably high exit pressure
    >> Datarat !GKOL8m.b8A 03/19/12(Mon)18:45 No.18383875
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    So piss cannons and cum guns...This game boasts about realism? Bullshit.

    Also I found another piece of ridiculous content within these silly pages.

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:45 No.18383883
    OP posted the link for it at the top.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:46 No.18383890
    Wait, it squirts out the vagina, from overflow, or squirts out somewhere else, from shooting through her?

    I wish that wasn't a legitimate question in FATAL
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:47 No.18383902
    I believe all of them are possible depending on your skill, how well you roll and how much the female can hold
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:50 No.18383934
    How someone could even think about running this game is horrifying.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:52 No.18383960
    In response to your image, Anakim are FATAL's Tieflings - essentially rare offspring of humans and demons.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:53 No.18383978
    We've done character creation before. It was only a matter of time.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:53 No.18383981
    also they smell of shit and make women orgasm in half a mile radius

    yes thats completely and utterly possible
    >> Datarat !GKOL8m.b8A 03/19/12(Mon)18:54 No.18383989
    Oh my God...I'm looking at the character sheet section and...Jesus H. Christ...This quest will never make it past character creation, i'll fucking bet money.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)18:55 No.18384003
    You'd be surprised.
    T-Minus 5 minutes
    >> Datarat !GKOL8m.b8A 03/19/12(Mon)18:55 No.18384006
    I got a feeling this game can be pretty epic in a retarded 'chuck norris' way.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:55 No.18384007
    All we need to do is reverse the gender and apply some interesting enchantments and we can cause entire armies to slaughter themselves through explosive ejaculation.
    >> Datarat !GKOL8m.b8A 03/19/12(Mon)18:56 No.18384021
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:57 No.18384039
    there's rules for mass combat in fatal to, we could use those

    we just need to calculate the averages of ejaculating power and how many armor the opponents are wearing
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:58 No.18384041
    It's like adventuring in a malfunctioning holodeck. There's so much fun to be had.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)18:58 No.18384042
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    Jesus Christ.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:58 No.18384054
    no its not

    its not so bad its good

    its so bad it speeds right past the star wars holiday special having gay sex with hitler
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)18:59 No.18384059
    Our DM told me that he'd run FATAL if we got him the books. So I got him the pdfs.
    I worked through character creation with him, and it took us 3 hours of rolling.
    Another player rolled up a dwarf. He's 216 years old, so he had to make 216 separate die rolls to determine how many Skill points he got to allocate during his lifetime.

    It's been fucking hilarious. And honestly, a lot of fun just trying to breathe life into ridiculously specific, randomly generated characters.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)19:00 No.18384068
    >star wars holiday special having gay sex with hitler
    T-Minus 60 seconds.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:00 No.18384081
    Yes, but that involves implying that women have some sort of power, which is not allowed in FATAL.
    >> Coffee-Kun !!h7gIe9JHEEj 03/19/12(Mon)19:00 No.18384085
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:01 No.18384086

    If you roll those things on the table. You might just end up with speaking Demonic, having a flock of crows follow you at all times, and having blood instead of sexual fluid.

    And maybe be immune to nonmagical weapons.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:01 No.18384092
    We're also going to need to calculate firing arcs, because all of those dicks are going to be pointing in different directions, and they're going to change direction in the process of firing.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:01 No.18384103
    What will it say about us if we manage to have fun playing F.A.T.A.L. ?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:01 No.18384107
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:03 No.18384134

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:03 No.18384139
    that you have gained both my highest regard and my deepest disgust with 1 action

    I salute you
    >> Coffee-Kun !!h7gIe9JHEEj 03/19/12(Mon)19:13 No.18384249
    This might actually have to be the place to do this.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:19 No.18384331
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    Interesting fact: in order to play F.A.T.A.L., you have to roll (and fail) a sanity check.
    >> Coffee-Kun !!h7gIe9JHEEj 03/19/12(Mon)19:22 No.18384376
    Alright lets keep it in this thread. Let the other two die. If this thread also gets autosagged to the ground, then well apparently the threat of playing FATAL is enough to warrant observation of a board. Hopefully this shall result in /pol/ keeping their shit in their pants.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:25 No.18384413
    Lets do this.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)19:25 No.18384416
    rolled 84 = 84

    And here's anal circumference.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:26 No.18384421
    Okay, so.
    We've got an Anakim that I want to call Kamina, who rolled a 18 for his anal circumference.
    >> the tripfag to remain unamed 03/19/12(Mon)19:27 No.18384433
    No. Archmagos rolled an 84, in this thread.
    That shall adjust to whatever race he chose.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:28 No.18384447
    Why are they all circumcised except the dwarf ?
    Is it the natural state for humanoids, and dwarves through magical or surgical procedures graft foreskins on their sons ?
    >> the tripfag to remain unamed 03/19/12(Mon)19:29 No.18384463
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    Which would put it at a 9-12 inches. or 6-8 inches. Depending on race
    It's Fatal. How the fuck should I know.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)19:30 No.18384468

    >> the tripfag to remain unamed 03/19/12(Mon)19:31 No.18384485
    Also all data I am storing on a notepad so lets get this overwith.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:32 No.18384502
    9-12' inches for An Circ
    Lets move on to the next horrifying stat shall we?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:34 No.18384527
    did you know that in FATAL, having your belly cut open and your intestines spilling out is not only not a life threatening injury, but also a quick and easy way of causing your opponent to be stunned from shock for upwards of 8 rounds?

    advanced combat tactics people
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:34 No.18384534
    rolled 4 = 4


    We need to roll for gender, I think.
    Odds = female!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:35 No.18384543
    Male apparently.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:36 No.18384561
    lets roll for bodily features all in one post. It might make things easier.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:39 No.18384603
    rolled 85, 75, 14, 85, 94, 71, 23 = 447

    Lets use these for results
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)19:40 No.18384620
    now pick the order.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:40 No.18384621
    rolled 5, 75, 80, 91 = 251

    I think we start with the Body chapter, then go through the tables one after another up to chapter 8 : skills.

    That would make us start with age.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)19:42 No.18384643
    alright lets start with those. We will say your 30. Now lets pick some other stats shall we?
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 03/19/12(Mon)19:42 No.18384655
    it seems like it would have made more sense to roll before we actually started like when this thread started
    >> Datarat !GKOL8m.b8A 03/19/12(Mon)19:42 No.18384656
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    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:43 No.18384657
    rolled 3 = 3

    Don't forget our 1d10 Anakim Traits!
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)19:43 No.18384671
    You get 3 traits then. Roll for them
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:44 No.18384678
    rolled 7, 3, 3 = 13


    Rolling 3d10. I hoped for more.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:44 No.18384684
    We're fifty years and a little more than four months old.

    We reached middle age at 46, and will hit venerable at 101.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:45 No.18384691
    rolled 10, 28, 100 = 138


    3d100, Godammit!
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)19:45 No.18384695
    except a certain trip is powerword: sage to shit. At least we have age, gender, race and anal circumference out of the way.
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)19:45 No.18384698
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)19:48 No.18384742
    Excellent. Your stats are as follows:
    Flame Breath, Crazed Whispering, and Blood lust.
    Lets get our body out of the way now.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:49 No.18384767
    Fuck, no copy rights on OP's pdf.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)19:51 No.18384783
    If you have reader you might be able to get it.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:52 No.18384802
    rolled 17, 11 = 28

    height : 2d20+76
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:53 No.18384821
    rolled 93, 64, 12 = 169

    weight : 3d100+249
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)19:56 No.18384876
    You are slightly bigger than average. Lets go to BMI.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)19:56 No.18384888
    104 inches, 8 over the average, means +120 lbs, +120 strength, and +8 bodily attraction.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)19:59 No.18384947
    Lets go for your features. Also we need us a name.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:00 No.18384976
    BMI, Body Proportions, then our facial features, then the the freak of nature roll.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:01 No.18384986
    Rapey McRapenrapersrape
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:02 No.18384995
    Fuck it, let's use that automated generator, I seem to be alone doing this and it's a pain.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:02 No.18385003
    Then lets use it, but do the stuff we already have going for us.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:05 No.18385054
    Okay but we have to squeeze either the word rape or sodomy into the name somewhere
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:08 No.18385103
    Kay, so if I understand right, our 138lbs over the average gives us a further +34 to strength.

    BMI is 705*weight/heigth^2. I assume pounds and inches, so 35,06.

    We're 2 points overweight, which gives us -20 bodily attractiveness.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:11 No.18385143
    2 pounds gives -20? shit
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:14 No.18385174
    Here is your character minus what you already did

    ------------------------General Character Information------------------------------
    Character Name: Gender: M Race: Anakim
    Player Name: Occupation: Age Category: Middle Age
    Homeland: Level: Religion:
    Height: 97 Weight: 443 Siblings: 0 Social Class: Slave
    Age: 62 Max Age: 150 Eyes: Brown Skin Color: Pale
    Marital Status: Single Birth Rank: Only child
    Birth Status: Bastard Hair Color: Brunette w/ some gray Hair Type: Thick, kinky
    Hair Length: 7 Vision: Perfect natural vision
    Facial Feature: Short and blunt eyebrows
    Perceived as opportunistic, heartless, impatient
    Birthplace: Town Birthday:5/30/5038
    Most Attactive Feature: Hair Most Repulsive Feature: Waist

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:15 No.18385192
    No, 2 BMI points.
    Conversely, and if we were female, 2 BMI points underweight would grant us +200 attractiveness.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:15 No.18385194
    ----------------------------Character Abilities-------------------------------------
    Sub-ability Score Mods
    PHYSIQUE: 128 14
    Physical Fitness: 99 0 Sprint: 63
    Strength: 219 49 Damage: +49% C&J: 126 Bench: 253 DL: 379
    Bodily Attractiveness: 65 -21
    Health: 130 14 Int/Vom: -14% All: 0 Ill. Imm.: 65%
    CHARISMA: 97 0
    Facial: 98 0 Description: Plain
    Vocal: 111 6 Description: Normal
    Kinetic: 100 0 Description: Ordinary
    Rhetoric: 79 -10 Avg. Speech: 135 or 210 (50%)
    DEXTERITY: 64 -21
    Hand-Eye Coordination: 39 -38 Finger Prec: 1/4 inch
    Agility: 38 -38 CA Bonus: -10 Brawl: 2 Stand: 4
    Reaction Speed: 83 -10 Deep Sleep Recov: 2
    Enunciation: 97 0 Max Speech: 200 Casting: No modifier
    Language: 140 20 #: 4 Vocab: Perniciousness
    Math: 98 0 Highest Math: Algebra
    Analytical: 140 20
    Spatial: 86 -6 Unfamiliar Object Assembly: 125
    WISDOM: 98 0
    Drive: 104 3 Hours Resting: 16
    Intuition: 83 -10
    Common Sense: 95 -3 Likely to: -
    Reflection: 112 6 Earliest memory at: Age 3
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:15 No.18385196
    How can you have an ugly waist?

    If his most attractive feature is his thick, kinky hair, we have ourselves one ugly motherfucker.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:16 No.18385211
    started as a bastard slave huh? I sense some rape in our past in addition to our future
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:16 No.18385214
    Request was to random generate. We can change things out if you guys want.

    Life Points: 41 Unconscious: 8 CA: 7

    Piety Points: 100 Magic Points:

    Breadth: 48 BMI: 33.1932 BMI Status: Overweight

    Ethicality: 30 Morality: 1
    You are: Neutral w/Unethical tendencies Immoral

    Sanguine: 40 Choleric: 24 Melancholic: 20 Phlegmatic: 48
    Primary Temperament: Phlegmatic Secondary Temperament: Sanguine

    -------------------------------------Starting Funds---------------------------------
    Silver Pieces: 1

    ------------------------------------Mental Illnesses--------------------------------


    ------------------------------------Rare Features-----------------------------------
    Handedness: Right-handed
    Foot Size: 12
    Head Cicumference: 32.07

    -----------------------------------Sexual Features----------------------------------
    Manhood Length: 10.7508 Manhood Circumference: 10.6003
    Anal Circumference Potential: 18 Nipple Length: 0.5
    Areola Diameter: 2 Areola Hue: Medium
    Tongue Size: 2 Sexuality: Heterosexual
    Debauchery: 85
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:17 No.18385222
    Beer gut ?
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:18 No.18385242
    So what is your final name?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:20 No.18385262
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:20 No.18385267
    Kamina McRape ?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:21 No.18385283
    Erap McPair
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:21 No.18385289
    We will compromise.
    Kamina McRaperson.
    What do you want your proffession to be?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:22 No.18385295
    Aw. I liked >>18385283
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:23 No.18385311
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:23 No.18385320
    We're a rapist slave in a rape factory.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:25 No.18385339
    >free copy of FATAL
    Why would you DO that?
    >click link
    Why would I DO THAT?! What the hell, Compy?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:25 No.18385340
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:25 No.18385343
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:25 No.18385359
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:26 No.18385375
    That will be your alias. As you were a slave, it is clear you are going to need one.
    Fucking roll off for that shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:28 No.18385395
    rolled 4, 5 = 9

    Rolling for >>18385343
    2d6 is right, right?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:28 No.18385396
    >Manhood Length: 10.7508 Manhood Circumference: 10.6003

    Seriously, this fucker's gonna get SHAMED to death, as everyone who he tries to rape will just start laughing at his HIDEOUSLY MALFORMED DICK.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:30 No.18385421
    >hideously massive
    It's ten inches long and three inches wide, dude.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:30 No.18385425
    It's a d1000 since we are peasant.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:30 No.18385427
    we can reroll it, also reroll attractiveness
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:30 No.18385429
    rolled 23 = 23

    changing vote from thief to wizard, didn't think magic would be avalible to a former slave
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:30 No.18385433
    rolled 548 = 548

    Oh ok
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:32 No.18385457
    rolled 4, 1 = 5

    That's a width of 3.18 inches. Not so misshapen for 10 inches of length.

    But yeah, that's better in a rape factory than in regular society.
    Rolling for this, then.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:32 No.18385459
    Only 3 wide?
    I thought the scores were implying that it was 10 inches wide, too.
    >> TwoDee !qQigT1sixA 03/19/12(Mon)20:33 No.18385472
         File: 1332203604.gif-(1006 KB, 320x338, 1329895836709.gif)
    1006 KB

    >Three inches wide


    Does he need to use both hands to jack off or something!? That's like a liter bottle of soda!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:33 No.18385475
    Circumference, dude. FATAL is, dare I say it, not THAT stupid.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:33 No.18385481
    rolled 613 = 613

    Rerolling for the factory.

    But yeah, that's better in a rape factory than in regular society.
    Rolling for this, then.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:34 No.18385485
    Closer to a pop can, but pretty much.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:34 No.18385486
    rolled 759 = 759


    oh, d1000? rolled a d100 last time, here's the proper dice
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:35 No.18385506
    rolled 656 = 656

    Damn. So much for blacksmith.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:36 No.18385517
    We're 8 feet 8 inches.
    We probably have big hands too.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:37 No.18385537
    You are now a cut purse/soldier/sailor your guys choice.
    Your Physical attractiveness is now 150 and you have gaied as a mental illness, hypoxophilla. Dear lord. Also your worse feature is... Your voice...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:39 No.18385552
    rolled 904 = 904

    Sailor in the navy
    >> TwoDee !qQigT1sixA 03/19/12(Mon)20:39 No.18385555
         File: 1332203973.gif-(11 KB, 256x192, 1307763860958.gif)
    11 KB

    This makes it make a little more sense in context, but it would still look like a retarded salami meat tube.

    Fucking FATAL. Incidentally, if I'm not still around for the start of FATALQuest, someone remember to do the time-honored tradition of grabbing a barmaid by the vagina and then wearing her like a hat.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:40 No.18385560
    Hypoxophillia, and gains a horrible voice. I wonder why...
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:41 No.18385573
    Alright, if nobody beats that we are a sailor.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:41 No.18385579
    >You are now a cut purse/soldier/sailor your guys choice.
    what about that 700+roll for wizard?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:42 No.18385587
    that's... Not terrible for a disability
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:46 No.18385647
    Sailor. More potential for anal stretching as a sailor.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:49 No.18385687
    Actually according to guide no to sailor. So lets choose something else. The person with the highest roll last time, the 705 for wizard, needs to roll again for what we get to be, because wizards can't be serfs.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:52 No.18385755
    rolled 677 = 677

    fine, lets just speed this up
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:55 No.18385785
    That is a skinner which an Anakim can be. Now lets get this crazy shit rolling
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:57 No.18385809
    >Skinner rapist
    Oh hell...
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)20:58 No.18385822
    You are Kamina McRaperson, Who is a skinner in a hostile rape environment. You awake pissed off with little skill and on the floor with a hang over. What do you do now?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:58 No.18385830
    rolled 412 = 412

    I'm supposed to roll for what? profession? type of wizard?
    Here's a 1d1000
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:58 No.18385832
    >It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:59 No.18385841
    rolled 24 = 24

    Stand up and look for clues
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)20:59 No.18385845
    What are we wearing? surroundings?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:00 No.18385855
    look around, where did we end up, what do we have with us(items, clothes, etc)
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:02 No.18385885
         File: 1332205361.jpg-(116 KB, 551x838, kamina2.jpg)
    116 KB
    Well there is no wizard profession in F.A.T.A.L. Sadly, however because of how fucking shitty the game is Kamina has somehow obtained magic powers besides his firebreath.
    So you are a skinner wizard rapist wearing leather pants and no shirt. You see many bottles strewn about a hovel and many destroyed pieces of furniture. You have no idea what the hell happened. All you have are you handy skinning knife and tanning set.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:03 No.18385897
    rolled 207 = 207

    Look outside and see what's there
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:04 No.18385914
    You notice a bottle of absinthe in the corner. It says "The Green Rape Fairy." you also spot with your perfect vision, the sun out which is hurting your eyes. Roll 2 d20s.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:04 No.18385923
    If we can use one of the bottles as a weapon I say we do.
    If it's unbroken, it'll gather less attention.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:05 No.18385932
    rolled 4, 1 = 5

    Here are our dice
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:05 No.18385936
    Drink it!
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:08 No.18386005

    You see a path of destruction about the small town, and a building which looks as if it has been completely destroyed. Additionally you see a you sized hole in the wall.There seems to be many other Anakim wandering about, as if nothing happened. The sun hurts your eyes and you have problems seeing, additionally a major headache. You have trouble standing now. However that absinthe might be the hangover cure you need.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:12 No.18386071
    You take a shot and see people around this hovel starting to look around, as if searching for the source of something. Now you also feel your hangover subsiding.

    What do you now do Kamina?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:12 No.18386072
    Run through ALL of the walls!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:13 No.18386087
    rolled 17, 4 = 21

    Then rape anyone who's sleeping.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:15 No.18386115
    Oh god I was seriously afraid of this.
    Roll a D100 to determine how far you run, I will use your physical charcteristics to adjust.
    First you need to determine if anyone would be sleeping. The sun is a bit high to be morning.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:16 No.18386129
    rolled 93 = 93

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:20 No.18386178
    Masturbate furiously as you break through each wall.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:20 No.18386179
         File: 1332206410.jpg-(31 KB, 400x320, 84125_v1.jpg)
    31 KB
    You are Kamina McRaperson.
    "FUCK WALLS" You scream as run in a straight line through several other hovels, knocking two more buildings down. You go outside and see hordes of men and brown dwarfs running about. You think this might be a raiding party. Or something. Or tuesday. Probably tuesday.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:21 No.18386207
    Roll to see if you have the concentration to do so. God this system is horrifying. Also realize the consequences with your ejaculates strength as listed, could potentially do harm if aimed wrong.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:22 No.18386228
    rolled 60 = 60

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:22 No.18386230
    Against my better judgement, dare I say that this quest might have... potential?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:23 No.18386256

    Give the brown dwarves the dick.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:27 No.18386337
         File: 1332206869.jpg-(26 KB, 163x207, 1269578560234.jpg)
    26 KB
    Oh jesus fuck you do. Upon successfull completion of breaking through the first wall you think it might be a good idea to masterbate furiously.
    Roll another D100.
    You find none of them attractive and racially repugnant, due to your hatred score of them.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:30 No.18386385
    rolled 13 = 13


    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:31 No.18386394
    rolled 39 = 39

    >that image
    Oh god I laughed so hard.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:34 No.18386436
         File: 1332207265.jpg-(23 KB, 288x499, Kornheiser_Why.jpg)
    23 KB
    You rolled, poorly...

    In your fury of running and fapping whilst thinking of how you can do more damage you orgasm, shooting your "skeet" and causing you to be satisfied. Slowing you down slightly, then slipping hilariously crashing into a god damn table. Due to your high intelligence score you are able to determine, that why yes this is tuesday. And also a raiding party. You stumble to the ground Roll to see if you rebound to destroy a few more walls in your heroic tumble.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:35 No.18386445
    rolled 36 = 36

    >> redaeth 03/19/12(Mon)21:35 No.18386449
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:37 No.18386468
    Evacuate your bowels to ward off the raiding party.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:39 No.18386504
         File: 1332207581.gif-(640 KB, 250x170, 1325080516456.gif)
    640 KB
    Your mighty momentum propels you through another wall, and your tumble has managed to knock over a random brown dwarf being chased by another Anakim. You tumble to the floor and our not dexterous enough to get instantly back up. You notice that this building seems a bit more stable.
    With Your Insanely Large Anal Circumference it should be no mean feat, however seeing that this is probably your friends in this raid It might be a bad idea, as it could show a sign of weakness.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:41 No.18386527
    rolled 78 = 78


    >Implying they won't think you just birthed a brown dwarf
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:45 No.18386576
    So be it vlad.
    You get up.
    You squat down.
    "HEY GUYS LOOK WHAT I JUST DID." You scream in your horrifying voice. Three young female Anakim come over.
    "That is sooo gross."
    A large male anakim comes over.
    "Looks like you just gave birth to a brown dwarf."
    He offers your hand to help you get up.
    What do you do Kamina?
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:47 No.18386596
         File: 1332208030.jpg-(104 KB, 339x360, 1303728581741.jpg)
    104 KB
    forgot name and pic
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:48 No.18386618
    rolled 17 = 17

    Grab the girlfolk and run.
    This town is dead to you.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:53 No.18386666
         File: 1332208391.jpg-(6 KB, 204x246, nope.jpg)
    6 KB
    Nope.jpg Dexterousness is not your strong suit.
    You stumble up and lunge for them. Flailing miserably. The other Anakim looks at you. "You alright?" The girls scatter.
    Well what do you do now?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:53 No.18386675
    Pile on the other Anakim and rape him instead
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:54 No.18386683
    rolled 99 = 99


    Attack him using the feces as a club.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:54 No.18386687
    rolled 37 = 37

    Bad at dice
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:57 No.18386735
         File: 1332208662.gif-(11 KB, 203x172, 1163315177039.gif)
    11 KB
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)21:57 No.18386739
         File: 1332208670.jpg-(168 KB, 700x900, 1320819094384.jpg)
    168 KB

    Welp. I think we are going with the 99 on this one.

    You form your feces into a masterful club and attack this Anakim with it. Successfully. He never saw you coming at him with your feces for a club. Now I feel god damn horrible on the inside.
    Roll for damage with your terrifyingly smelly club.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:58 No.18386743
         File: 1332208684.jpg-(38 KB, 175x175, 1277051889121.jpg)
    38 KB
    >feces club
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:58 No.18386747
    rolled 57 = 57

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:58 No.18386748
         File: 1332208707.jpg-(41 KB, 400x281, 1324837049462.jpg)
    41 KB

    >Dat 99
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:58 No.18386756
    rolled 82 = 82

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:59 No.18386758

    Ok, the fuck is this FATALquest nonsense?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)21:59 No.18386761
         File: 1332208771.png-(117 KB, 327x335, 1295311120032.png)
    117 KB
    rolled 2 = 2

    Rolling to kill the guy
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:00 No.18386771
    rolled 36 = 36

    True terror.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:01 No.18386784
    rolled 75 = 75


    Exactly what it says on the tin, bro


    Oh fuck, I hope the OP's not taking crit fails
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:01 No.18386787
         File: 1332208873.jpg-(41 KB, 245x320, 45813.jpg)
    41 KB
    Oh shit.
    Due to the fact it is an improvised weapon, (Feces) your strength is going to be doing the bulk of this damage
    Roll for D 20 for your strength on this attack, you will receive a D4 for the actual weapon.
    THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN /pol/ comes trolling and /tg/ shows no restraint.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:01 No.18386797
    rolled 18 = 18

    Go crazy
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:02 No.18386806
    rolled 19 + 1 = 20

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:02 No.18386807
    rolled 9 = 9

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:04 No.18386832
    Are we really beating a guy to death with poop? Is this what we've come to?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:04 No.18386834
         File: 1332209049.jpg-(24 KB, 260x282, 1297836095708.jpg)
    24 KB
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:04 No.18386843
    rolled 11 = 11

    alright. Lets see if this gets through his chainmail armor.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:04 No.18386848
         File: 1332209091.jpg-(12 KB, 264x320, 1295416873691.jpg)
    12 KB
    rolled 20 = 20


    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:05 No.18386862
    Today on /tg/ I witnessed a man smash through a wall while jerking off furiously, then shit out a giant turd and beat a man to death with it.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:05 No.18386864
    This is the best quest thread ever. No, I'm not being sarcastic.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:06 No.18386878
         File: 1332209178.png-(21 KB, 334x555, KILL IT WITH FIRE.png)
    21 KB
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:08 No.18386907
         File: 1332209315.jpg-(1.64 MB, 2400x2880, 1303729421728.jpg)
    1.64 MB
    rolled 10 = 10

    Alrighty the poop gets through. The Anakim seems shocked, the fecal matter gets into his system. And he actually goes into shock. Your shit club is destroyed. This random guy is on the ground cursing confused and vomiting.
    Lets just call this a successful encounter. What do you do now Kamina.
    This is what I was expecting. Sadly.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:08 No.18386908
         File: 1332209330.gif-(21 KB, 350x350, 1325040666595.gif)
    21 KB

    OP, you glorious bastard
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:09 No.18386916
    It's already 1o pm EST

    When is this starting?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:09 No.18386928
    rolled 15 = 15

    It's going on right now bro
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:09 No.18386930
    rolled 35 = 35

    Loot his body.
    Maybe defecate on him further, too.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:10 No.18386939
    Stretch out his anus and attempt to use him as a top hat
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:10 No.18386940
         File: 1332209412.jpg-(114 KB, 644x644, 1322795492090.jpg)
    114 KB

    It's already in full swing, can't you be bothered to read the thread?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:11 No.18386959
         File: 1332209465.jpg-(37 KB, 594x412, 1326328730956.jpg)
    37 KB
    rolled 29 = 29


    I like this idea.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:11 No.18386975
         File: 1332209499.png-(59 KB, 885x315, FATAL quest.png)
    59 KB
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:12 No.18386990
    rolled 19 = 19

    Oh god. I can't believe I actually have to say this.
    Rolling for anal circumference...
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)22:13 No.18387007
    rolled 72 = 72

    And there's my cue!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:14 No.18387012
         File: 1332209642.jpg-(6 KB, 200x212, 1326759414895.jpg)
    6 KB
    rolled 19 = 19


    >actually having to roll for anal circumference
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:14 No.18387016
         File: 1332209658.jpg-(34 KB, 484x488, apple badass.jpg)
    34 KB
    >19/20 for anal circumference
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:15 No.18387031
         File: 1332209703.gif-(1.97 MB, 400x226, Yes-Yes MBison.gif)
    1.97 MB
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:15 No.18387038
         File: 1332209736.gif-(241 KB, 480x280, 1330641941755.gif)
    241 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    You attempt with all your might, too wear his ass as a hat. But alas, you fail on your first attempt.

    You try harder. You manage to pull this off.
    You are now wearing a man's ass as a hat.
    Now what do you do?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:17 No.18387057

    Attack the raiding party, using your new hat as a buttering ram.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:17 No.18387058
         File: 1332209834.jpg-(25 KB, 256x256, thats what im talking about fe(...).jpg)
    25 KB
    >ass as a hat

    We need to find more people to wear as clothing. Is anyone else nearby?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:17 No.18387062
         File: 1332209846.png-(97 KB, 294x650, 1331655629462.png)
    97 KB
    Hey /tg/, what's going on-
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)22:17 No.18387063
    "Hey guys, look at this? I guess Bob likes it up the ass!"
    >> Arch-Magos Winter !!GgQN8rJg+y8 03/19/12(Mon)22:18 No.18387071
    rolled 72 = 72

    Forgot my roll.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:19 No.18387079
    Today /tg/ is a day. A day that will live in infamy. Today is the day that someone had to roll for Anal Circumference, while playing F.A.T.A.L,
    How it got to this point you ask?
    A man was beaten to death with a club made of shit.
    Let it be known for now and forever more that /tg/ will not take shit from any man.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:19 No.18387084
    Tears. Tears are streaming down my face. I don't know if it's shame or laughter. Maybe some sad glorious mixture of the two.
    Please continue!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:20 No.18387094
         File: 1332210050.gif-(1.99 MB, 295x216, 1316751591257.gif)
    1.99 MB
    >This whole thread
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:21 No.18387106
         File: 1332210100.jpg-(16 KB, 300x225, 18013.jpg)
    16 KB
    >mfw this thread
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:23 No.18387125
         File: 1332210190.jpg-(144 KB, 465x783, 1309734034123.jpg)
    144 KB
    Internet is over guys. We've won.

    We slayed it with a club made of our own shit.

    Now we proudly wear its ass as our crown.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:23 No.18387134

    You scream this out.
    A few Anakim, with brown dwarfs in tow come. One has a human over their shoulder. One of them bows.
    "What shall we do now Chief?"
    Great. You just killed your chief in a drunken stupor with a shitclub. This is exactly how a game of FATAL is supposed to go.
    Welp Kamina McRaperson, Chief. What do you do now?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:24 No.18387144

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:24 No.18387145
         File: 1332210287.png-(181 KB, 1000x812, Abstinthe.png)
    181 KB
    >>My face when I made us roll for anal circumference
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:25 No.18387151
    rolled 40 = 40

    We form a cult around the idea of the asshat (worn in a style as close to the pope as possible). After all, he who wears the hat wields the power.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:25 No.18387154
    rolled 53 = 53

    Anal Orgies for everybody!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:25 No.18387157

    I feel like my intelligence is dropping just reading this...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:25 No.18387159
    Make them fight among themselves until everyone is wearing someone else as a hat.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:26 No.18387166
    We must try to put someone else on OUR asshat, and continue to do this until we reach space.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:27 No.18387173

    Ass totem hat?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:27 No.18387176
         File: 1332210458.gif-(1.3 MB, 180x172, 1314399904451.gif)
    1.3 MB

    I must insist upon this.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:29 No.18387196
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:29 No.18387199
         File: 1332210562.gif-(449 KB, 286x119, can't deal with it.gif)
    449 KB
    Ideas are stirring in your mind. These are interpreted as whispers near those around you. The dwarves are screaming in terror. The Human is gagged so their screams are not as loud.
    You feel like you want to start a blood orgy focused around the ass, or start a cult focused around your hat. Since you have slain the old chief by rite of combat (You just now remember) you now also have to worry about others attempting to kill you in the same fashion.
    What do you choose? Remember choose wisely. I am just fucking with you, at this rate you will probably do something even more horrifying.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:30 No.18387216
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:31 No.18387227
    Blood orgy. Our earlier failure to masturbate must be corrected.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:32 No.18387239
    rolled 15 = 15

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:32 No.18387240
         File: 1332210757.jpg-(9 KB, 347x291, oh.jpg)
    9 KB

    They must fight each other for the honour of their own asshat. Then a blood orgy with the anal blood.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:33 No.18387247
    rolled 53 = 53

    Blood for the blood orgy!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:33 No.18387249

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:33 No.18387250
    Oh, no.
    He masturbated, alright.
    He just failed to stick the landing.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:33 No.18387255
    rolled 11 = 11

    Rolling for this with a d100
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:35 No.18387279
         File: 1332210914.jpg-(20 KB, 280x341, 1295144826948.jpg)
    20 KB

    Oh christ I forgot about the lethal moneyshot. WE MUST TRAIN OUR EJACULATORY SKILLS
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:37 No.18387317
    how do you forget about the best part?!
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:38 No.18387336
         File: 1332211120.jpg-(66 KB, 540x726, WTF am I reading Classic.jpg)
    66 KB
    Multiple ideas are once again heard as whispers. The brown dwarves are crying now. So is the Human.
    "Tonight. We Blood Orgy, then we all fight for the right of Asshat! Our new religion, once we do we shall craft ourselves into deadly projectile weapons. Such is our new way! GOD WILLS IT!"
    You scream with a the sound and fury with an idiot scorned breathing fire into the sky, and since you have a piety score of 100, these asshats listen to you.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:38 No.18387340

    Around the time we beat a dwarf to death with a club made of our own shit, then proceeded to wear him as a hat
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:39 No.18387346
    >and since you have a piety score of 100, these asshats listen to you.

    Well, future asshats. They aren't asshats YET.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:40 No.18387347
    rolled 89 = 89

    >these asshats listen to you
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:40 No.18387349
    It was another Anakim.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:40 No.18387353
         File: 1332211244.jpg-(85 KB, 924x920, 399425_340796915946598_1494021(...).jpg)
    85 KB

    I honestly can't tell if this is the best thread /tg/'s ever had, or it's lowest point in years. I just can't tell. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:41 No.18387367
    Well, it can't go anywhere but up from here
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:43 No.18387387

    What do you do now?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:43 No.18387399
    rolled 9 = 9

    We start to rap
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:44 No.18387404
    rolled 16 = 16

    Grab the nearest exposed intestine, lube up, and shout "LET THE RITUAL BEGIN!".
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:44 No.18387414
    rolled 7 = 7


    Start the Blood Orgy!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:45 No.18387423
    We search for cocaine and or weed and nubile anakin wimminz
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:46 No.18387439
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:48 No.18387460
    rolled 9 = 9

    Forgot roll
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:48 No.18387461
    rolled 26 = 26

    Failed at rolling
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:48 No.18387463
         File: 1332211729.gif-(30 KB, 125x125, 1331347675743.gif)
    30 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:49 No.18387474
    sir, the anons are wearing a man's ass on their head
    well, then they are
    ass on head retarded
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:49 No.18387481
    rolled 43 = 43

    That was bad and you should feel bad
    >> Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)22:50 No.18387484
    rolled 98 = 98

    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:50 No.18387487
    This all goes through your mind, it causes you to feel a rush. Too much of a rush. Your Hypoxophillia has just kicked in. And so has your blood lust.
    Roll A d20 to resist taking out your Hypoxophillia and Blood Lust. If you fail this too bad you may die doing both the same time. And seriously, I am kind of not sure how this will go.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:51 No.18387502
    rolled 7 = 7

    testing dice roll cus im kinda drunk and havent done so in a while
    >> Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)22:51 No.18387503
    rolled 13 = 13

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:51 No.18387508
    rolled 3 = 3

    Fuck it, I don't care anymore. I want us to autofellate and just choke ourselves.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:51 No.18387509
    *chirping crickets*
    "Y-yeah! W-woo-"
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:52 No.18387519
         File: 1332211949.jpg-(8 KB, 80x100, Steve_Staring.jpg)
    8 KB
    rolled 6 = 6


    Oh christ
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)22:52 No.18387522
    Which is that for? Because if it is for both, you are in trouble.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:53 No.18387542
    Oh god, I can't stop laughing. this is the best thread that has ever graced /tg/. The Rape Factory has nothing on this. Even Haggard didn't make me laugh this hard
    >> Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)22:54 No.18387543
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:54 No.18387548
    rolled 1 = 1

    >> Snapper Carr 03/19/12(Mon)22:55 No.18387555
    How does one manage to roll on the random magical effects table? We must find out, /tg/.

    We must become the wizards.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:55 No.18387556
         File: 1332212122.png-(8 KB, 493x402, 1331995946929.png)
    8 KB
    rolled 8 = 8


    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)22:56 No.18387570
    yeah that was my face too when I rolled that
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:00 No.18387615
         File: 1332212406.jpg-(221 KB, 392x500, 2404907117_5bea7e183b.jpg)
    221 KB
    You have a hate boner. And you want to choke shit. And yourself. You now realize why you were passed out. This happened last night. This is what lead you to this.
    You are the whirlwind.
    You run through the village with a lust for murder and the air to be gone through your lungs.
    You Die as you have lived.
    You Lived as you died.
    Not really. After killing 10 humans 3 Anakim and a Brown Dwarf and hanging yourself you slip and die from self hanging
    You were Kamina McRaperson.
    Your final rampage unified your tribe under a zealous new religion, and your zealous ways has lead the tribe to go onto become one of the key players in the kingdom. Maybe. You have one chance.
    Roll to save vs Death. PIC VERY RELATED
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:01 No.18387628
    rolled 8 = 8

    (still drunk)
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:01 No.18387635
    rolled 20 = 20

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:01 No.18387637
    rolled 2 = 2

    wait was that supposed to be a d20 or what
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:01 No.18387638
    rolled 3 = 3


    >You have a hate boner

    That was it, the final straw. I was collapsed over my desk in breathless hysterics after that.

    Fuck, OP, good game sir.

    Rollan to not die
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:02 No.18387639
    rolled 57 = 57

    >> Snapper Carr 03/19/12(Mon)23:02 No.18387641
    rolled 49 = 49

    >> Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:02 No.18387644
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:02 No.18387646
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:02 No.18387648
    rolled 1 = 1

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:02 No.18387654
         File: 1332212554.jpg-(87 KB, 558x831, smoking is cool.jpg)
    87 KB
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:03 No.18387661
         File: 1332212584.jpg-(98 KB, 544x400, 1299477398592.jpg)
    98 KB
    rolled 10 = 10


    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:03 No.18387668
    rolled 14 = 14

    wait, disregard that
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:03 No.18387677
         File: 1332212613.gif-(200 KB, 650x646, broblerone.gif)
    200 KB
    Shit yes son
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:03 No.18387682
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:03 No.18387683
    rolled 11 = 11

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:04 No.18387689
         File: 1332212660.gif-(7 KB, 93x100, 1322791950995.gif)
    7 KB

    Welp, it was good while it lasted
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:04 No.18387697
    rolled 9 = 9

    Not yet Kamina. You can;t die now.

    Our fun is merely starting.
    >> Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:04 No.18387698
    rolled 37 = 37

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:05 No.18387701
    Does fatal have a crit system? Because I think that nat 20 should make us some new Messiah, since we did start a new religion and all...
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:05 No.18387708
    rolled 8 = 8

    But op said we lived...
    >> Snapper Carr 03/19/12(Mon)23:05 No.18387714
    Guys, this thread is autosaging.

    Dare we make a new one?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:06 No.18387721
    rolled 15 = 15

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:07 No.18387726
         File: 1332212838.jpg-(25 KB, 216x282, 1314842894550.jpg)
    25 KB
    >first a 1 and now a 20

    Yes. The asshat horde demands it.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:07 No.18387735

    Your fortitude is high enough.
    You survive. Barely. You are giggling when then the Anakim find you.
    Your tribes men find you with a boner. They are confused and you feel shame.
    Roll a D100 to save yourself from being shamed to death.
    You have learned a spell due to your near death experience. Roll for that shit after the next survival roll
    >> Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:07 No.18387737
    Maybe kinda odd, unless

    Mod is NO FUN ALLOWED to this thread
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:09 No.18387754
    rolled 75 = 75

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:09 No.18387761
    >> Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:09 No.18387768
    rolled 60 = 60

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:09 No.18387773
    rolled 9 = 9

    rerolling since I used the wrong die.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:10 No.18387774
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:10 No.18387777
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:10 No.18387779
    Goddamn it. Our fucking boner.
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:11 No.18387786
         File: 1332213064.gif-(1.95 MB, 446x251, 1322252029924.gif)
    1.95 MB
    Stop rolling.
    We are making a new thread for this since this autosaging. I will use my trip to start it. That is it though
    He lives.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:11 No.18387792
    Wait, so a race that goes around raping everything that moves can be shamed to death by being caught with a boner?
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:13 No.18387807
         File: 1332213207.jpg-(8 KB, 183x275, David Carradine.jpg)
    8 KB
    If you get one from hanging yourself like Pic Related, then yes.
    Starting new thread, will use trip of doom.
    >> Slab Beefheart !!3LVHuJysYjU 03/19/12(Mon)23:15 No.18387822
    Shall we archive this for posterity?
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:15 No.18387828
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:16 No.18387840
    Link it mate
    >> might be OP 03/19/12(Mon)23:18 No.18387872
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:18 No.18387873

    Wayyyy ahead of ya.
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:18 No.18387875
    Hey man link the new thread!
    >> Anonymous 03/19/12(Mon)23:24 No.18387981

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