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  • File: 1331836185.jpg-(26 KB, 468x382, article-1293140-0A5E6EC7000005DC-430_468(...).jpg)
    26 KB OP 03/15/12(Thu)14:29 No.18338591  
    Hey sci, I need to flesh out a setting. Shall we say low fantasy, and renaissance tech level?
    >> OP 03/15/12(Thu)14:31 No.18338605
    *Tg, not sci. Dammit.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)14:50 No.18338786
    Anyone know if they're edible?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)14:51 No.18338795
    What the flying fuck.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)14:56 No.18338841
    BBQ chicken in a CAN MOTHERFUCKER what's not to get?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)14:56 No.18338848
    Fuck no. Processed shit beyond level of recognition.

    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:06 No.18338976
    Google them
    >kmart used to sell them in boxes of 22 or 23.
    >they could fit 23 in when they dented a few
    >may contain bones, paper
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:08 No.18339006
    We're almost at the level where we can use science to put a sandwich in one of those squeezable go-gurt things.


    It's a brave new world.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:10 No.18339025
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:16 No.18339091
    >bbq chicken
    >made from mechanically reseperated pork, chicken flavouring.
    >may contain small parts, choking hazard for children
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:18 No.18339120
         File: 1331839120.jpg-(24 KB, 182x242, modern day prometheus.jpg)
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    When the protoAvnari space-elves finally triangulate our radio broadcasts and find our smoking radioactive tomb of a planet, they'll take a moment to glory in their cultural superiority. They'll smugly lament how foolish our aperace was, how if only we'd had their benevolent wisdom to teach and guide us we'd still be alive today.

    And then, slowly, a discarded, empty plastic tube will float in front of the viewscreen of their monolothic ambulant nation. They'll decipher the script-

    "Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich-IN SQUEEZABLE FORM!"

    A moment of silence, and then their hesitant, collective wail would pierce the howling silence of space and serve as our race's final eulogy. For, having seen that wrapper, they will KNOW.

    We had been as gods.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:18 No.18339121
    >best before 102009 a.d.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:20 No.18339142
    Could someone post the comic that this image appears in? Cheetos. That is all I will say.

    Also, I fucking love you, /tg/. I. Fucking. Love you.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:20 No.18339146
    Welcome to the Mars Colony! Would you like strawberry, grape, bbq, cheese, or marshmallow for your first month on board?"
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:22 No.18339171
    I love you, /tg/

    >afteriu they
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 03/15/12(Thu)15:24 No.18339183
         File: 1331839447.png-(48 KB, 1344x174, land_war_in_asia.png)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:25 No.18339188
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:25 No.18339190
    How about a setting where society reached a technomagical peak at 1900s tech, and is declining back to medieval due to the invention of processed food?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:29 No.18339222
    5 star post
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:32 No.18339246
    holy shit /tg/, I just woke up after passing out for ~2 minutes because I was laughing so hard at this thread. By the God-Emperor of Mankind, that was hilarious
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:33 No.18339259
    Hold me, and never let go, you wonderful scholar.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:37 No.18339296
         File: 1331840262.jpg-(248 KB, 1280x800, c4ab6ba90e61a96837c19a446ba141(...).jpg)
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    I don't think it is too early to call for this to be archived.

    Also, my next game is now about Candwich. Plot by evil, but clueless aliens to infect humanity with the larvae. They can't figure out why it isn't working.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:41 No.18339339
    Those reminds me of Famine's scheming in Good Omens
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:44 No.18339376
         File: 1331840658.jpg-(820 KB, 1655x2063, lol.jpg)
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    let this be forever remembered in the annals of /tg/
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:45 No.18339401
         File: 1331840751.jpg-(32 KB, 500x333, Canned Bread.jpg)
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    Wait. Is the whole sandwich in the can, including the bread, or is it just the filling?

    If it is the whole sandwich, then truly this is a great time to be alive. What mysteries will elude the human race now that we have put sandwiches in a can?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:46 No.18339412
         File: 1331840813.gif-(949 KB, 301x300, 1330937449212.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:47 No.18339421
         File: 1331840862.jpg-(71 KB, 526x390, 127419964218.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:49 No.18339436

    Bread and all. I don't know how they do it, but with strange aeons even death may die.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:51 No.18339470
    Such a wondrous age we live in.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:51 No.18339472

    it is the whole sandwich
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:52 No.18339474
         File: 1331841126.png-(3 KB, 188x128, 1322735408680.png)
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    >Apparently the law suit has had little impact on Mark One Foods, and plans for Pepperoni Pizza and French Toast Candwiches are in the works.
    > Pepperoni Pizza and French Toast Candwiches
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:52 No.18339483
    >be Cthulhu
    >Finally wake up
    >need breakfast
    >rummage through Elder God Fridge
    >canned bread
    >"Holy shit, this stuff is still edible?"
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:53 No.18339485
    >Mark One Foods

    Marked one? Are these from the zone?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)15:53 No.18339495
         File: 1331841215.png-(20 KB, 150x150, I SEEEE.png)
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    > Pepperoni Pizza and French Toast Candwiches
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:00 No.18339560
         File: 1331841626.jpg-(24 KB, 400x392, 1308184931700.jpg)
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    >canned sandwiches

    Behold our works, ye mighty, and DESPAIR.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:04 No.18339595
         File: 1331841861.jpg-(30 KB, 500x500, time to stop.jpg)
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    Does anyone have a picture of the content of these things?!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:08 No.18339620
         File: 1331842108.jpg-(17 KB, 300x300, e9ed_candwich.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:09 No.18339624
         File: 1331842157.jpg-(50 KB, 480x384, The Brain.jpg)
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    Candwich, you tricked me. This is not as amazing as previously indicated. May this air-tight container be your tomb for all eternity.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:09 No.18339627
    Between this and that fireless fireplace, it's like 'scientists' don't even CARE anymore.

    >Yeah, we did it with lasers and shit. Something something large hadron collider. Whatever; enjoy your artifact.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:10 No.18339634
         File: 1331842231.gif-(1.25 MB, 312x176, 2 thumbs bitches!.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:12 No.18339650
         File: 1331842331.gif-(449 KB, 286x119, can't deal.gif)
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    That's a dissapointment.
    I thought it'd be... well, more canned good like...
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:12 No.18339651
    I expected it to be entirely ready to eat, right out of the, you know, can.

    Someone contact /k/, tell them /tg/ has some MRE ideas for them.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:12 No.18339652
         File: 1331842335.jpg-(23 KB, 200x300, 200x300_sandwitch_nutrition.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:14 No.18339669
    That's nothing but a hotdog bun and condiment packages stuffed in a can! What is this deception?!

    I'm angry with rage!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:17 No.18339687

    These candwiches are nutritionally devoid of value. Also, jesus, look at that sodium content.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:18 No.18339693

    Remember, the product is still young. Given time and guidance, I am certain it will soon meet, and even exceed, our expectations.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:18 No.18339694
    I am a food science major. You have just given me a life goal. I shall perfect the candwich.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:18 No.18339697
    We control the candwich.

    We control the universe.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:19 No.18339703
         File: 1331842758.jpg-(188 KB, 434x438, 1293682037604.jpg)
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    Godspeed, sir!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:22 No.18339732
    Soon, we shall have the Canned Meatbread as well.

    Which begs the question, what kind of sandwich would /tg/ like to see in a can?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:22 No.18339733
    This candwich is bullshit. I remember a real candwich; I think SA reviewed it back when SA wasn't just a steaming pile of social justice.

    It was a fucking sandwich in a canned...wich. It looked gross and...moist...But there it was. Fuckin' sandwich in a can. Crack open a sandwich by the alley. Yup.

    This is the greatest country in the world.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:22 No.18339736
         File: 1331842949.jpg-(69 KB, 720x500, burger-in-a-can-04.jpg)
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    These candwiches are only slightly better than the monstrous abomination that is the cheeseburger in a can.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:22 No.18339737
         File: 1331842957.jpg-(38 KB, 372x399, 1321428969524.jpg)
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    The worst part is that the "Candy Surprise" is not a scientific abomination that you can submerse in water to open a portal to the plane of candy hell. Nor is it a fine aphrodisiac that would rival the ambrosia of the gods in flavor and substance. No, its just a piece of fucking taffy.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:25 No.18339763
    A BLT. Hold the lettuce and tomato.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:26 No.18339775

    Is it saltwater taffy at least?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:29 No.18339821
    Laffy Taffy.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:30 No.18339822
         File: 1331843403.jpg-(78 KB, 670x611, can_burger1.jpg)
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    Not even God may judge me.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:31 No.18339844
    >laffy taffy

    They might as well have just spit on an empty Airhead wrapper and attached instruction to 'lick the inside'.

    This whole thing was a bust. Now I know how those rapture freaks felt.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)16:39 No.18339939
    Don't worry, our scientists are working on this as we speak. See >>18339694
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)17:20 No.18340413
         File: 1331846454.jpg-(17 KB, 300x420, 1293488229242.jpg)
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    You can now has canned cheezburger.
    I'm afraid.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)17:22 No.18340437
         File: 1331846557.png-(1.01 MB, 1062x763, 1269902561375.png)
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    >mfw this thread
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)17:28 No.18340491
    I for one vote for

    -Biscuits and Gravy in a can
    -Healthy Salad! in a can (Health not included)
    -Sliders and fries in a can
    >> James Joyce 03/15/12(Thu)17:32 No.18340523
         File: 1331847147.jpg-(40 KB, 450x338, canned chicken 1.jpg)
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    Take heed young ones

    Lest ye walk upon the path of destruction
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)17:38 No.18340574
    >Poutine candwitch

    The Canadians already drink their milk from bags so it's a logical progression.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)17:44 No.18340631
    Make sure to drink something afterwards with all this sodium.

    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)17:48 No.18340674

    I'd like to believe the guy who came up with this had an ethical breakdown, Einstein-after-Manhattan-Project style.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)17:56 No.18340749
         File: 1331848570.jpg-(266 KB, 640x512, 1293494669290.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)18:04 No.18340832
         File: 1331849051.gif-(17 KB, 450x450, 1269735747989.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)18:29 No.18341112
         File: 1331850555.jpg-(72 KB, 775x1523, 1330308618490.jpg)
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    Say again?
    >> An Experienced DM 03/15/12(Thu)18:31 No.18341139
         File: 1331850692.jpg-(251 KB, 1600x1039, 1315496628161.jpg)
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    Now, if they could can one of these fore me, I'd be interested.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)18:35 No.18341172
         File: 1331850910.jpg-(47 KB, 600x600, GrenadeAnM18RedExplosive_rende(...).jpg)
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    Mankind started with the famous 'explosion in a can' and then worked our way backwards from there.

    Oh u, humanity.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)18:52 No.18341376
    This is awesome. It's like Cloudy with a chance of Meatballs taken to the next level.

    I approve.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)19:00 No.18341471
    >Mankind started with the famous 'explosion in a can'

    As in incendiary ?

    That isn't an explosion in a can. That's FIRE IN A CAN
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)19:38 No.18341877
    ... We must take this to the next level, to contribute to humanities endeavors of canning things. We must design an game system in a can.
    >> An Experienced DM 03/15/12(Thu)19:39 No.18341888
    Wii in a can?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)19:42 No.18341919

    You has can cheezburgr.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)19:44 No.18341948
    That sounds misleading and disgusting.

    Let's do it!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)19:44 No.18341949
    I've done that on long road-trips before.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)19:45 No.18341962
         File: 1331855144.jpg-(55 KB, 600x450, burger8.jpg)
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    In a can.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)19:46 No.18341976
    Look it's got pickles and shit. That's healthy!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)19:52 No.18342025
    Were we ever on topic?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)19:53 No.18342037
    If the topic was, canned foods that shouldnt be canned foods then yes.

    also there was a topic?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:02 No.18342160
    Gentlemen, what I propose to you shall take mankind to the next level of putting-stuff-in-cans. Some say we are not ready, there are some things man was not meant to can. That we meddle in God's cannery. Those narrow minded fools shall fall and weep before my latest discovery.

    Gentlemen, I plan to CAN A CAN!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:06 No.18342205
    Listen not to this heretic. That way lies damnation! First it's "Hey lets put a can in a can." then a can in a can in a can. Well I ask you. Where does is end?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:06 No.18342214
    It will end when we finally create a Can-Singularity and usher forth the Canpocalypse.

    Then, all will end.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:08 No.18342236

    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:10 No.18342259
    Gentlemen, I have done something terrible. But this thread has made me realize that I can no longer keep it a secret. My friends and colleagues, I have put a dungeon master in a can.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:12 No.18342280
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:14 No.18342298
         File: 1331856862.gif-(2 MB, 335x271, EatingIntensely.gif)
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    >MFW this whole thread
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:16 No.18342325
         File: 1331856984.jpg-(34 KB, 400x400, stuffed-hamburger-press.jpg)
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    Am I the one one who was just a little bit disappointed that the canwich didn't turn out to be something that you could drink right out of the can? I saw that youtube video and the first thing I thought was "Why is this this lightweight not chugging this- oh. Wait. I'm disappointed."

    I want my liquid burger in a can. I want to take this picture and slurp it through a straw. All this self-assembly wastes valuable time I could be doing other things.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:17 No.18342333
    Why don't you just put the whole world in a can?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:17 No.18342336
    We were all disappointed, friend, but with time and dedication we can achieve the canned utopia of our dreams.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:17 No.18342340
    >Implying it isn't all ready
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:22 No.18342379
    Very appropriate:

    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:23 No.18342399
    the dyson sphere is still hypothetical unfortunately
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:31 No.18342482
    Spheres are not cans.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:33 No.18342503
    Why not create a pen and paper game system in a can? It has a sheet of rules rolled up, with included dice and character sheets. There's is no end to what can be canned gentlemen. Although maybe we should find a way to can Those Guys.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:40 No.18342587
         File: 1331858410.jpg-(178 KB, 668x691, wtf am I scrying.jpg)
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    This is what science is about?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:41 No.18342600
    Yes. Yes it is. Science is essentially all about finding out how much you can stuff in a can before somebody gets hurt.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:46 No.18342645

    Unless your goal is to stuff people in cans, then the metaphorical skies are the limits.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:46 No.18342647
    >implying magic isn't the same thing except with bags of holding in place of cans.

    >> ‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮Praetor Lillifag‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ 03/15/12(Thu)20:56 No.18342740
         File: 1331859415.png-(54 KB, 1258x419, Squeezable Sammich.png)
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    Bump for more canwich goodness.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:59 No.18342766
         File: 1331859587.png-(233 KB, 323x339, CanScience.png)
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    the man alone in a dark room, just lost in his dreams of the past "what could go wrong? it will help people!". one last cry for the world that he ruined.

    and *zwip*, one last can opened.
    as the body lies death in the floor, a blood stained label reads "gun in a can!, fully loaded!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)20:59 No.18342768
         File: 1331859589.jpg-(18 KB, 320x283, cancan.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:01 No.18342781
         File: 1331859708.gif-(498 KB, 262x200, mother-of-god-gif.gif)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:02 No.18342786
    ...Death in a can.

    You crack it open and toss it at someone and they die.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:03 No.18342797

    We already have those. They're called grenades.

    We also have death in bottle form. Those are called molotov cocktails.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:04 No.18342811

    Is that like a can of whoopass?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:05 No.18342820
    Man, this thread was like getting bit on the stomach by a horse. My brain saw something my mind wasn't prepared to deal with.
    >> Dowjin !!9I4SJG4jQPb 03/15/12(Thu)21:05 No.18342821
         File: 1331859939.jpg-(69 KB, 397x501, tumblr_m07qezOXAt1r3s5n0o1_400.jpg)
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    >mfw I introduce this to my players as ancient death magic, only reveal the world is full of technology at the end.
    >> ‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮Praetor Lillifag‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ 03/15/12(Thu)21:05 No.18342823
    No, no, wait a second, I got this.

    Can of live spiders.

    In a can made of live spiders.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:07 No.18342838
    So just spiders?
    >> ‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮Praetor Lillifag‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ 03/15/12(Thu)21:08 No.18342852
    Have the outer layer of spiders, using glue/duct tape/thread/more spiders, woven into a can?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:10 No.18342867
         File: 1331860218.jpg-(88 KB, 1126x818, andyoushallbeasgods.jpg)
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    >death in a can
    >those are called grenades

    We have lost control of this shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:22 No.18343003
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:28 No.18343063
    Wait... What's life in a can?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:32 No.18343121
         File: 1331861562.jpg-(37 KB, 400x400, mountain_dew-400-400.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:37 No.18343170
    It's cans all the way down.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:39 No.18343201
         File: 1331861991.jpg-(44 KB, 320x303, 96003_v1.jpg)
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    >So, your rogue trader finds a planet, MADE OF DIAMONDS!

    >PC: yawn

    >Did I say diamonds? I mean CANS!

    >PC: Oh shit! Gonna get me a ton of quarters!
    I'll plate my ship in goddamn quarters!
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:45 No.18343254
    So what if a batshit insane techpriest gets a hold of an ancient cannery? What happens then?
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)21:51 No.18343323

    I would LOVE that to happen in a Dark Heresy game. Chasing a heretek through the bowels of a planet to some ancient STC factory whose very purpose has been lost to the ages, save for vague suggestions that the machines will be able to contain anything. Pursuing him past dusty machines and assembly lines, you corner him at last in the control room.

    "This is where the truth lies!" He cries, desperate, a cornered man. "With a flick of this switch, I can control everything!"

    He flicks a switch. Ancient technologies bulldozes back to life, with a sound like a mountain shouting. Blind hands grasp raw materials, the lines roll once more, purpose returns to this ancient forge of...

    "Li'l Bow-Wow Doggy Food"
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)22:12 No.18343541

    New theory:

    The Golden Throne was originally designed to preserve the Emperor past mortal limits, until such a time that either he is removed, or removes himself.

    Gentlemen, the Emperor is in a can.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)22:48 No.18343891
    We must venture for a can opener then.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)22:54 No.18343946
         File: 1331866479.png-(106 KB, 1896x764, Emperor in a can.png)
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    this thread is diamonds
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)22:56 No.18343963
    >STC factory that makes dog food

    And then the local regiments of the Imperial Guard get a new standard ration.
    >"Still better than corpse starch."
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)23:03 No.18344025
    >getting OUT of kans

    they're stuck in there. Wires jammed into the brain and all
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)23:04 No.18344026
         File: 1331867048.png-(95 KB, 510x546, 1323011861038.png)
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    Only the orks would design such a nonsensical device in large enough proportions to get the Emperor out of his living can. How else would they be able to get out of their Killa Kans? Quickly brethren, to the nearest ork infested world. We shall "borrow" this device from them.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)23:05 No.18344039
    I never said get out alive.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)23:13 No.18344097

    Chaos hates cans

    Tzeentch hates cans. They trap their contents in a state of stasis, unchanging and immutable. For the Lord of Change, cans are an abomination.

    Nurgle hates cans. Their tough exterior prevents food from decaying and rotting. The spurning of his blessings from a mere hunk of metal is an unforgiveable insult.

    Slannesh hates cans. Inside a can, there is nothing to experience except isolation and darkness. For one who revels in sensory overload, a can is a living hell.

    Khorne hates cans. Where there is cans, there is recycling. And where there is recycling, there are hippies. Khorne hates those motherfucking hippies. He goes out of his way to tip over recycling bins and put non-burnable trash in the burnable collection.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)23:17 No.18344127
         File: 1331867863.jpg-(29 KB, 400x300, cans.jpg)
    29 KB
    He hates these cans. Stay away from the cans.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)23:36 No.18344298

    Once, a hippy accidentally kicked a hacky-sack through a warp portal that exited onto Khorne's lawn.

    His response was to find out where the hippy's home planet was, locate all the natural springs and glacial melts, and then proceed to take a steaming, goopy dump in every single one of them, just so their hippies wouldn't ever have access to "natural, pristine bottled water".

    He hates hippies. And he hates cans.
    >> Anonymous 03/15/12(Thu)23:46 No.18344373
    No that's cancer in a can.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)03:27 No.18345870
    I don't think they sell coffee in can form.
    ... Where's our food science guy? This needs to be fixed.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)05:44 No.18346583
    It comes in a bottle, that good enough for you?
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)05:48 No.18346605
    Not true. I have a self-heating can of mocha in my car for caffeine emergencies and I have drunk a latte in a can (Same company and type as the mocha). It's not bad. They use a special activating heat-pouch in the base of the can to heat the drink. It's pretty neat.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)05:51 No.18346616
    >implying there's a heat-pouch
    >implying they haven't put a migrant worker and coffeeshop in your can to heat it for you
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)05:51 No.18346620
    This poster again.

    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)05:53 No.18346629
    >self-heating can
    How long... until that can becomes 'self-aware'?
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)05:53 No.18346632
    Monster Hammer. Coffee and Guana Energy Drink in a can.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)06:19 No.18346723
    Twelve years.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)06:28 No.18346763
         File: 1331893710.jpg-(36 KB, 500x451, 10 guy miget and godzilla.jpg)
    36 KB
    Oh, thanks for that. Here I was heading for bed and now I have this horrifying thought that all the cans in my kitchen are staring at me...
    lance. ingdarki indeed Captcha...
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)08:36 No.18347370
         File: 1331901364.gif-(279 KB, 576x3001, 20120316.gif)
    279 KB
    Hot off the presses and almost disturbingly appropriate.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)13:59 No.18349159
    Mahahahaa haha ha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)17:05 No.18350479
    the best thread
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)17:26 No.18350629
    Just got back from the kitchen after really really wanting some canned food. ended up grabbing some tuna and eating it from the can, then I came here and saw this thread. truly, this is fate, /tg/
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)20:03 No.18351831

    Come on /tg/ just 3 more...
    >> Anonymous 03/16/12(Fri)20:07 No.18351858
    It's called http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html

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