http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17967339/Ooops! I should probably be running a quest tonight, huh?My bad.Last week, on DragonZergQuest Z...Hot on the tails of destroying one of Dyles' lieutenants (or cerebrates, or...whatever they are), we followed a psionic echo to the Maroger star system. There, we found an alien refinery producing Dyles' corrosive terraforming gases. We coordinated with the UED to attack it, and wound up boarding the station with zergleks. 15 of them, to be exact. Seven of those zergleks are still in fighting shape, with two retreating for serious repairs. The other six were destroyed by another of Dyles' lieutenants, which appears to have been bathing in the toxic gases.The station should be secure, now. All we need to do is slaughter the infected creatures on the bridge and investigate to our hearts' content.(My schedule next week is completely ridiculous. I only have Sunday off. Almost every other day, I'm working until 2 am. Yikes)
>>18061278Yikes indeed. Let's start taking samples, readings, furniture, really anything we can sneak out while we slowly make our way to the bridge. Also see if the UED are doing anything different, a large psionic event just happened after all, and I'd hate foe them to have noticed and concluded that we've taken the station.
>>18061278My condolences on the shitty schedule.Start clearing the station, room by room with overwhelming force. Alert the UED to bring along full NBC gear before coming aboard.>>18061390I'm pretty sure the UED has no psychic power to speak of, so they shouldn't have noticed anything
>>18061390(That means Zerg Quest is on Sunday, by the way)Rear Admiral Rontgen is signalling for communication, but it's not marked urgent.
>>18061491Sunday it is.Take the call anyways, we can chat while cleaning up
>>18061505A dark-haired man with a very respectable beard comes over the comm link."This is Rear Admiral Rontgen, in charge of the naval blockade around the station. While I appreciate that the station's defensive turrets aren't firing anymore, I'm a little distressed by these readings from the lower levels. Are you taking the station or blowing it up?"Leaving the refinery area, the zergleks begin ascending the elevator shaft toward the bridge.
>>18061491As long as we give off the impression that we're wearing a top-hat and monocal, take the call.
>>18061562I"M not trying to blow it up. crazy thing-a-mah-whatsisiz in big tank thingies filled with... stuff was. I'll get back to you on what the stuff is. It sure smells funny, and it tastes like blue.
>>18061578>>18061608Taking the "insane space slug" route, today?
>>18061562Worry not, this station will be taken intact, though a bit more battered than we expected. Enemy resistance was somewhat greater than expected, but nothing we couldn't handle.If there's nothing else, we will finish up here and signal you when the station is secure.
>>18061626I wouldn't say insane, more a not quite all there space slug. And I don't know what the things were, or what the gas is, or what blue tastes like, but that doesn't... okay yeah I'm feeling insane space sluggy today/night.
>>18061657>>18061608"Copy that, Cerebrate. We're reading life forms at the defensive stations and on the top level, which I assume is the bridge. Just a reminder: once the station scans clear, I'm under orders to claim it as UED property."The zergleks breach the bridge, and find infected Terrans spasming on the ground.
>>18061766"Thanks for the heads up, Space Slug One out"Try to dominate them ASAP before Dyles can self destruct them
>>18061766Link up to the computer, download it in its entirety, set the reactor to explode in an hour, erase all the files, take samples, leave.
>>18061819>>18061784(Both of these?)
>>18061819Voting against sabotage, it's too early in the game with the UED to make a blatant move like that. If the station blows after we've pulled out our forces and the UED is consolidating, enough suspicion will fall on us no matter what we tell the UED to taint future dealings.Plus if what's on that station is useful against Dyles we want the UED to have it. They can take a more active part in teh war and take more losses in our place and weaken themselves for later
>>18061861They're not mutually exclusive, so sure why not.
>>18061905Good point. Still I want my samples and files. But if there is something really shinny in the database, we keep the UED from getting a shinny.
>>18061958Well, of course we're taking samples and files. If there's something really juicy that the UED could somehow use against us, I suggest we let them have it and plan accordingly.
>>18061905>>18061958Roll yourselves 1d100 to check out the computer.
rolled 48 = 48>>18062031I hope we don't cover it with slime.
rolled 70 = 70>>18062031Rollan>>18062040Unless the slime gives us a circumstance bonus to hacking!
rolled 100 = 100>>18062031Lets see what games they have.
>>18062077>100...Where were you 5 minutes ago?
rolled 13 = 13>>18062077I feel ashamed.
>>18062105Trying to get my post to go through. 4chan is being slower than hell for me today.
>>18062040>>18062054The computers are old, and not just because the station is old. After a difficult time figuring out how the files are organized, we finally find a recent log from the station's commander, Rich Ichord VI. He is fortuitously contemplative, musing that when one of the Earth's eccentric billionaires launched his generation ships in 2218, he separated them from humanity forever. Ichord wonders how society has progressed, or if the apparent social collapse that they left behind finally destroyed the little blue dot.Either way, he opines, they have made great progress in building Terra Secunda. So much so that they could afford to rebuild one of the generation ships into this station to process the system's gas into a coolant for this new Warp technology they had been experimenting with. The technology had already borne fruit, even. Their first manned flight had brought them to a world with life, albeit in an unbreathable atmosphere.We have an idea of where this is headed, and skip to the last log entry. The second officer, one Jerry Voorhis, says that the samples just seemed to come to life. They were infecting the crew. They had already taken over the refinery, and they were--Jerry is interrupted by the bridge being breached by the infected crew.Jerry is one of the spasming infected Terrans on the floor.
>>18062336Signal the UED, let them have the dinky old station.Psychic domination time!
>>18062336>>18062376Trace down those warp drive plans. If they are any better than what the UED currently has, erase them.
>>18062336Are the entries dated? How long ago was the last one?
>>18062418Agreed, but only if we can remove all mention of their improved drives from the rest of the computers
>>18062418or, just corrupt the data so that the plans are there, but completely unusable. We can leave the rest of the data there to make it look better then.
>>18062497Holy crap, that's a great idea. Changing my vote for this (and psychically dominating the infested terrans)
>>18062418>>18062444The plans aren't stored in this computer, but it's becoming pretty apparent that none of the ship's computers are networked. If the plans are on the ship, they may just be on another computer.>>18062433It is dated approximately three weeks after Dyles escaped the quarantine at Goryu.>>18062376Nargil cautiously asks us if we really want to psionically touch these things again. Wormface asks us if we intend to signal the UED without clearing the station first.
>>18062566If we succeed, we have test subjects.If we fail, Dyles will kill them like last time.Can't hurt to try, can it? Unless he somehow figured out how to make a psionic trap.
>>18062566>PlansThen a-hunting we shall go.>DateAaaaand how long ago was that?>NargilNOPE.JPG>WormfaceAs funny as that would be, no.
>>18062566Locate the appropriate computer to corrupt the warp drive information. Finish clearing the station. Focus our will and dominate Jerry. Once the station is cleared, signal the UED
>>18062598>>18062618I don't think Dyles is clever enough to make a psionic trap so quickly, space toads are not Confederate aristocracy. Quickly we don a fedora/pith hat and search for the right computer.
>>18062669>>18062626>>18062618The zergleks continue their extermination of the crew, except for Jerry, while the mutalisks begin a room-by-room search for computers with relevant data. Wormface guesses that the UED will catch on that there's only one infected Terran left, in a room full of our forces, while we root around in unrelated parts of the ship before we can search everywhere.(Roll 2d100 for dominating Jerry)
rolled 68, 88 = 156>>18062731If they ask, tell them we're torturing him for information.
rolled 49, 44 = 93>>18062731If we can't find the right computer, oh well. It's not like their improved warp drive is going to be any better than our heighliners. Plus the UED won't be able to crank them out en-mass for quite a while
rolled 18, 95 = 113>>18062755Maybe, we don't know the UED's production capabilities.
>>18062751>>18062755(Psssst: He might not have meant "new Warp technology" as in "better Warp technology," but as in "Warp technology, which we just discovered")We fumble around with what feels like creeping psionic vines reaching out, trying again to dominate them. Again, they being wrapping themselves around the fringes of our minds. Again, we try to burn them off of the Swarm while maintaining a controlling presence in the Terran. We even feel like we're succeeding when we feel Dyles' mind clamp down into it. Suddenly, we are struggling for control as Jerry's body leaps up, screaming. It jumps with inhuman alacrity at one of our zergleks, latching onto its domed head.(2d100 again)
rolled 68, 100 = 168>>18062885oh god
rolled 87, 29 = 116>>18062885Again? Why not 2d173?
>>18062833They're reeling from losing nearly 50% of their territory and population. Furthermore, they'd have to test, restest, analyze, test and test some more before they began a general production of these improved engines.The only reason we can get away with adding fancy new tech to our arsenal so quickly is because we have cerebrates to hand the actual work off toAnyways. The point I was trying to make was the UED doesn't have the capability to make use of new technologies on a wide scale like us, so letting them have this one is not too much of a problem
rolled 43, 32 = 75>>18062885>"GET IT OFF GET IT OFF"
>>18062917But it's the principle of it! It'd be like letting the protoss keep zergworld, completely irreverent in the grand scheme, but still. I wonder if they'd let us take zergword back?
>>18062899>>18062902Tearing open the dome, Jerry opens his mouth. Instead of releasing a tongue to kill the organic being inside the zerglek, it releases five or six of the parasitic tadpoles that wriggle through its arteries.Immediately, we sense the vile things squirming into the flesh, and more infectious vines twine up the psionic connection between us and our Brood.This lasts only a moment, though. The other zergleks are swift, firing repeatedly until both the compromised zerglek and the infected Terran are completely reduced to vapor.The winding vines disappear, burned away by death.We now have six fully-functioning zergleks on the station, and two returning to Cyberbrate for repairs.Almost immediately, Rontgen signals us.
>>18063012They won't.Hardly matters anyway, I mean we DID strip mine the FUCK out of it before sending it to Aiur, and even then we would have to re-colonize the FUCK out of it.
>>18063012We've never asked.
>>18062917Even if they don't now, they will eventually.Before we hand the thing over, scrap the files. Maybe even just smash the data storage and make it look like there was a fight in there.
>>18063045There IS no central data storage. The computers aren't linked at all. It's like this entire station was built without knowledge of basic networking.
>>18063060Oh well. Let them have their stuff. Not like they can match the Heighliners anyway.
>>18063012Wouldn't it be funnier to let the UED think they have some kind of game changing advantage? When we eventually go to war they can think they have a trump card. When they gather their huge ass fleet outfitted with their fancy new tech and try to hit us somewhere they think we're undefended we pull the rug out from under them with our superior travel tech>>18063031Well. So much for psychically dominating the tadpoles. We'll just have to exterminate them all from now on.What does the Rear admiral want?
>>18063099"Cerebrate, I'm reading an all-clear from the station. My orders are to take the station and have the boys begin data analysis, which the higher-ups say they're going to share with you via the embassy. Are your forces ready for departure?"
>>18063180So whats the plan now? Do we want to stall for time or just gtfo?
>>18063180We need to perform a final sweep for any nasty automated surprises, but all of the enemy's living assets are dead. We'll some time to gather our fallen, but come on aboard, it's your space station now.
>>18063099Hahahah I like it. And I assume Admiral Omega wants to know what's taking so long/when we'll leave. Which would be nowish I think.
>>18063180Sure why not. Unless we can trip a self-destruct RIGHT NOW, we can't really keep them from the delicious data.
>>18063180"Allow my forces to perform a final sweep, as we are...unfamiliar at best with how they breed, perhaps if they lay eggs they could be immune to your particular form of sensors? It is best to be sure, wouldn't want this facility turning tables later on because we didn't find a single egg eh?"
>>18063248This, totally, appeal to the tactician within him.Also I can't help but feel like this quest lost a large amount of people once guys started using names.
>>18063271There are a lot of other quests going on right now.
>>18063271>>18063288(The fact that I can't keep a regular schedule anymore is probably not helping things)>>18063248>>18063223"Our scans are conclusive, Cerebrate. It is a big station, though. I could see your troops taking, say, a whole ten minutes to reach their transports."We could be ready to go in approximately two minutes, which should be clear to him. We agree immediately to this timetable.Is there anything we need from this place before we go?*cough*theymentionedthelocationsoftwoplanets*cough*
>>18063387Bid the UED a good day and let's take a look at those planets we found mentioned in the station's files.
>>18063387I dunno. Maybe there's some throat lozenges lying around? You sound like you could use one.
>>18063417And wipe the planet's locations, if we can. Never underestimate the usefulness of two hidden bases.
>>18063417>>18063439Why, we'd have to check to see if the planet's coordinates are in the computer before we could do either of these!And we'd need to roll 2d20 to see if we could find them!
>>180634392 hidden based, and a sector they can't reach in any reasonable amount of time. Redundant, but might as well do it anyway.
rolled 2, 13 = 15>>18063459'ere we go, 'ere we go, where we go, we don't know!
rolled 13, 3 = 16>>18063459Rolling!
>>18063459That seems a rather roundabout way of doing things, but sure.SNAKEYES COMIN AT YA!
rolled 66, 41 = 107>>18063498hurr dice works better when you put 'dice' instead of 'noko'
>>18063486>>18063494One number away from something beautiful. Quit taunting us, /tg/
>>18063513hurr d20s work better when you '20' instead of '100'.Oh well, if you divide those by 5 I still did better than those other guys.
>>18063486>>18063494Huh. That's neat.13's enough for a success. I'll let you guys decide which planet's location you figure out!
>>18063639Why don't we just get to the first one and find half of it gone, replaced with half of the other?
rolled 1 = 1>>180636391d2?1d2.
>>18063658(Your choices are Terra Secunda, their heretofore unknown colony world, or the world they found with a corrosive atmosphere full of scary tadpole monsters before the UED's worlds started to fall)
>>18063688Corrosive atmosphere could be where Dyles is hiding in this sector. May be worth a look.
>>18063688Terra Secundus. Which is by now is a horrible place full of tadpoles, but It's named.
>>18063725>>18063722>>18063665Two votes for the colony that time forgot, one vote for the unnamed planet where these guys found Dyles' parasites that weren't overtly hostile yet?
>>18063785Just to annoy you, unnamed planet.
>>18063785Not overtly hostile? That's new, but I still prefer the probably dyles world instead of the definitely dyles world.>>18063800But I can't argue with that logic, vote change. 3 for unnamed, I'll name it Bob.
>>18063837Damn, beat me to it.And Titan A.E. was a fine movie
>>18063870>>18063837>>18063800>>18063785(Maths tell me Dyles World won. Somebody might want to double-check my logarithms, though)Navigating the outdated operating system is difficult, and the directories are clearly in need of reorganization after generations of personalization, partial standardization, and sheer clutter, but we manage to find the coordinates of the system the commander had mentioned, of a planet in a star system approximately halfway between UED space and the Koprulu Sector. We marvel that these Terrans took such a long flight for their first live test of a Warp engine. Unfortunately, we won't be able to marvel at it to their faces, as we simply cannot find the coordinates for Terra Secunda. After almost eight minutes of trying, we abandon the attempt and head for the overlords.Rontgen, to his credit, gives us the leeway we need to leave the station on time. We appreciate that.Shall we investigate?
>>18064011Yes! Investigate away!
>>18064023It's a trip that takes a couple of days from either direction. Should we send them the old-fashioned way, or just hop in with a heighliner?
>>18064085Old fashioned. Not a good idea to blow up the planet we're trying to investigate.
>>18064085I am suspicious. I'm going to say go the old fashioned way out of paranoia
>>18064085Heighliner to get close. Super cool Xel'Naga cartography should help with that. Then normal the remaining bit. I just don't want to warp into a fleet, but this wouldn't be a problem if we retrofitted zergworld.
Old Fashioned. I don't want to chance a trap for something that short.
>>18064166Nooooo you broke the deadlock.
>>18064166>>18064120>>18064111>>18064110>>18064106(Well, while we've got a cloaklord en route, would somebody roll 1d100 for Big Stuff?)
rolled 74 = 74>>18064189BAM.
rolled 59 = 59FFUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNN
rolled 75 = 75>>18064189We never ever have good big stuff, don't we?
rolled 94 = 94>>18064189Stuff!
>>18064198>>18064200Codeki rolled under my arbitrarily-set Big Stuff level for this thread. Would you like to have Big Stuff?
>>18064287>>18064344I waited 10 minutes. Oh boy.A maximum priority message is coming in from the UED.
>>18064359Fun times ahead?Take the message, get everything ready for combat deployment
>>18064359"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel."
>>18064383And a top-hat and monocal.
>>18064372>>18064383Admiral Sagan's voice is already shouting by the time the connection is made."--ET YOUR ASS OUT HERE! THIS IS IT! I'M SENDING YOU THE COORDINATES NOW, ORDERS OR NO ORDERS!"Somebody off-screen asks him a question."Yes, you idiot! EVERYTHING!"He turns back to us."I repeat, EARTH is under attack! GET THERE NOW!"
>>18064451Oh well this saves us the trouble. I guess we can go watch maybe.
>>18064451But..our plans! Our grand deception! Our intricately laid out magnus opus of deceit!All in ruins because of that damnable Dyles!Launch all UED-based forces towards Earth.I don't want to tip our hand regarding the heighliners, though.
>>18064451Holy shit. I was right. We are going to find out where Earth is tonight.
>>18064451Heighliners.Heighlingers every where.Mobilize a FUCK ton of troops.They are our allies right now, if by some fucked-up chance they DO survive this they will remember how we didn't help.The UED isn't stupid, if Earth falls they have several other planets capable of being their HQ, while it would be a big loss morale-wise tactically it MOST likely is worthless.
>>18064451I KNEW IT! WONDERFUL! JUST WONDERFUL! SEND RECON FORCE AND READY THE FULL MIGHT OF THE SWARM! WE WILL DESTROY DYLES AND THE UED IN A SINGLE BATTLE!
>>18064451Direct all forces in the area to move in immediately.Get the protoss on the line. We might need them as a second wave if shit goes badly.
>>18064451I'm sure they'll be fine. Let's go poke the Worldship fragment again.Joking aside, send some cloaklords to earth and get the rest of our available forces ready to head over
>>18064484Uhh we already knew where Earth was. Math and then voidgate told us where it was, so nothing knew.
>>18064492The Protoss are a week's travel away, unless you mean to show them the heighliners.>>18064492>>18064491>>18064486>>18064482>>18064464>Break out the marshmallows: 1>FIRE EVERYTHING: 5Can I assume we're on the UED's side?
>>18064525Make it so.
Earth is fucking worthless to the UED for anything other than propaganda and a home world, shit most of their government isn't on that planet anymore.Mobilize our FULL forces and get ready to break Dyles over our fucking metaphorical knee.The UED can survive losing Earth, and hey, it would be best in the long run if we can become so closely intertwined that it wouldn't be weird to see a Zergling walking around in a mall, just looking at shit.THEN if we really want too, we can attack.
>>18064525By "FIRE EVERYTHING"You mean mobilize a fuck-ton of forces to break Dyles and protect our UED allies right? And not just Nuke the fucking planet?
>>18064525>on the UED's sideFor now.
>>18064560At Dyles' forces, yes.
>>18064547Because Admiral Tushie called us in without waiting for official orders, I'd say the UED is freaking out and calling in their entire fleet, so not only can we, maybe, kill Dyles we can also destroy the UED military one way or the other. If they're so cripples after the fight we might be able to warp in more forces and force them into an agreement like the one we have with the morians, or at the very least a greater broadcating area for zergtv.
>>18064606>Surrender your broadcasting stations to our network or we will commit genocide against your homeworldIn the future, television will be serious fucking business.Anyway, you guys should start rolling d100s. I'm not even sure how many. Good God.
>>18064606That's just basic diplomacy.But we WON'T actively target their ships or non-infested areas of the planet.Shit man, if some unknown xenos fucking nigh-instantly brought to bear literal TRILLIONS of its combat forms in the DEFENSE of my homeworld, I would love the fucking thing like a brother for the rest of my life.
rolled 10 = 10>>18064634Beginning /tg/ dice devastation of our own forces!
rolled 6, 55, 79, 97, 64, 72, 32, 71, 4, 17, 11, 32, 9, 10, 55, 65, 61, 41, 85, 34, 66, 5, 64, 64, 59 = 1158>>18064634Have a bucketfull.
>>18064651Wow, you weren't kidding.
rolled 52, 16, 72, 67, 52, 81, 82, 2, 2, 90, 68, 95, 48, 57, 48 = 832>>18064634Starting with 15
rolled 74, 98, 90, 20, 99, 85, 20, 11, 86, 93, 95, 41, 8, 74, 50, 75, 19, 52, 90, 34, 82, 95, 6, 94, 20 = 1511Bombs away.
rolled 46, 96, 58, 16, 51, 7, 67, 5, 1, 66, 41, 54, 93, 30, 16, 40, 16, 15, 96, 31 = 845>>18064634I think it can handle 20 dice.
rolled 65, 97, 10, 26, 5, 52, 18, 67, 28, 42, 50, 76, 7, 55, 1, 12, 83, 5, 74, 32 = 805>>18064645And then demanded to have their tv network carried on all major service providers... I'd be confused, but thankful enough not to question why xenos have a tv network and want it to be broadcast everywhere. Also 20d100.
rolled 24, 90, 94, 62, 86, 11, 25, 89, 87, 52 = 620>>18064634Time to roll the dice.
Let's just say we win with a good deal of losses.Saves Cerebrate Anon the problem of figuring out what the fuck to do with all these Bucket O' Dice.
I wish I had known... unfortunately Im off to bed... Curse you Cerabrate anon, ive been on tg every night for a week trying to find when you were going to quest...SO it is back to wednesdays? Or moving?
>>18064695Next one is SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY!
>>18064733Thank you tucamp, what time? Roughly?
>>1806474621:00 board time, roughly
>>18064777CA says 8pm central, I think he's in the central time zone. I'm guessing Iowa.
So, uh, bump?
>>18064794Right time zone. Wrong state.So, about 2.5 hours later, my Internet starts working again. That's awesome. I love dropping out of sight without being able to tell anybody why.I'm going to assume everybody has gone to bed.http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/18061278/