WE ARE MAJAIK BUTLER. WE LIVE TO SERVE TEA, DO MAJAIK, AND GET LAID.=-=-=-=-=REVIEW-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=You are an operative in training for the IDPKB.With your beligerant teaset Kraus, and your white rabbit footman Jakob, you aim to be the best goddamn majaikal battle butler ever.You've singed Santa's beard in a training excercise.Erica hartmann wants your sausage.Shirou's room is filled with fudge [ROCK HARD]And the God of the Glass has taken you under his wing for Alchemy lessons-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=PART:5 start=-=-=-=-=-=-You head down to the cafeteria for a quick meal.After you grab a club-sandwich and some fries you settle yourself down at a table to eat.As you eat you ponder the possibilities of Alchem infused butler combat.You decide to make the best of the upcoming lessons with Ryuu.As the fries on your plate dwindle, you hear the THUMPING of boots across the floor.Looking up, you see Karate Gai, the KamenRider, walking towards you.He throws you a curt nod and you do the same.The then places a brown paper bag on your table, turns around and walks away.Intrigued by this unexpected parcel, you pick it up and look inside.WHAT DO YOU SEE?=-=-=-=-=-=-goddamn i'm late, i had to fix up the yard.the dog decided to begin digging holes again.Also, captcha being a bitch.Flood detection too.
OH BOY, HERE WE GO.
rolled 33 = 33>>17995427Right.I'm bad at this.
rolled 94 = 94>>17995372Beginner's guide to alchemz. Bro has our back and heard a rumor we might be interested in this. Slipped in the back is a pamphlet about gender-swap potions and other "prank potions." Muh nigga.
rolled 44 = 44A new doorlock.
>>17995455>>17995479>>17995462STOP WASTING ROLLS.We try and seduce Hartmann tonight. dont roll unless called for.We want all them highrolls.We don't want to be SHIROU'd againKamenRider got us condoms.
>>17995504>STOP WASTING ROLLSyeah guys, you'll use up all the good ones!
>>17995479THIS. KarateBro has our back
>>17995462This.Especially since the good roll already got used on it.
rolled 31 = 31>>17995479>>17995504One of these. Because god damn it, so lulz.
So, I've been catching up on this quest and I've got to ask, why are you writing 8-Bit Theater Fighter but calling him Shirou? It's funny, fucking hilarious even, and I get it, but it's not actually Shirou you have been writing.Also TYPEMOON and BUTLERS but not these fine young gentlemen? Oh well, can't have it all, I suppose.
>>17995627OPs characters arent EXACTLY who they are based off.His Sakura is too bubbly, his Hayate too Pimp, his Shirou is a tad more clueless.The only dead-on character he's pushing is the bartender.And maybe crazy eye Nanoha.Also, it's not just type-moon he's drawing from.He said in the first thread he's mainly drawing from the NANOHA setting. But that shit has gone blurry now.
>>17995627Same reason everyone else is out of character to some degree or another. For the lulz.
rolled 21 = 21>>17995627ORE SANJOU.Here's to helping us tap dat Hartmann ass.
rolled 40 = 40INSIDE THE PACKAGE....................... IS ANOTHER PACKAGE.WHICH HAS ERICA IN IT.
>>17995688Well, the thing is, he isn't just writing Shirou slightly out of character, he has turned him into full blown 8Bit Fighter under a different skin and name. It IS funny, but at the same time slightly grates against my nerves to read.
rolled 95 = 95>>17995721I don't know what 8Bit Fighter is supposed to mean.
>>17995721He was going with the fanon (read: /a/) joke about Shirou having density on par with a black hole and being a general retard.
We see a note by Erica asking us to bang her.
Oh god what is this and is it archived how do I catch up. Polite sage for not contributing to the thread
>>17995733He's functionally retarded. In fact, he's so stupid, he's capable of doing things that aren't possible, because he's too stupid to realize they're impossible. If there's a way that he can do something, he will invariably pick the worst and dumbest way to do it.
>>17995733I think he's referring to a character from the webcomic "8-Bit Theater"
rolled 100 = 100>>17995687We see a note by Erica asking us to bang her.
>>179957338-Bit Theater. Webcomic. http://www.nuklearpower.com/8-bit-theater/
>>17995765You.ARE OUR HERO. Tell us fine sir, what is thy name?
rolled 100 = 100>>17995753The thing you're referencing sounds fucking stupid. That also doesn't describe how Shirou has been acting. He's really clueless, socially speaking, not magically and impossibly retarded.
You see something shiny inside.Reaching in you pull out a rather robust bolt lock.But the bag still isnt empty, so you just decide to dump it's contents on the table.You find 2 other locks and fittings for a peephole.There is also a box of condoms."Goddamn, how'd he fit this all in there?""NEVER SEEN A BAG OF HOLDING BEFORE COCKLUMP?" Kraus asks you."No, not really." you answer."WHATEVER. YOU SHOULD GO BACK TO THE ROOM AND INSTALL THAT SHIT" he says. "YOU DONT WANT SHIROU BARGING IN AGAIN WHEN YOU ERICA OVER, DO YOU?!""Holyshit, Erica!" you exclaim."YOU JUST REMEMBERED, YOU DICKSMEAR?" Kraus says, "GODDAMN YOU ARE FUCKING HOPELESS."
rolled 51 = 51>>17995765I think that could be part of what's in the bag (he's OK with Erica getting down with us), but since a brown paper bag sounds pretty hardware store-ish to me, I'd say it's an extra doorlock, possibly with Alchemy for Dummies thrown in.How much would he spend on us after only knowing us for a few days, after all?
>>17995765>>17995775Saging because irrelevant, but...HOLY SHIT, WHY ARE WE SUDDENLY ROLLING AWESOME AT THE USELESS SHIT?
>>17995771*yanks off mask*I am the player this quest deserves.
>>17995733>>17995775>>17995765STOP WASTING HIGH ROLLS.ROLL ONLY WHEN ASKED
>>17995812Because, my dear nub, we've been aiming to bang Erica all along. Is it not good that we're getting what we want?
>>17995775But he(Shirou) would also never, ever, go and bug someone for free fudge. He would, at worst, ask them at school to help them make fudge, and only take some home with him if offered. His retardedness is from his selflessness. Not a "HEY CAN I HAZ A FREE STUFF?" BR. Fighter would, and then ask if you like swords.
>>17995820>wasting rollsYou don't understand how probability works, do you?
>>17995832The Dice Gods care not for your pitiful "probability".
>>17995797TIME TO INSTALL THAT SHIT.>>17995831I don't know who Shirou, in original form, is. I've never seen the piece of media from which he's drawn. I honestly don't give a fuck - from my perspective, THIS is the original and everything else is a cheap copy. The point is, this Shirou is acting like a socially inept tool, but is not acting in the so-dumb-he's-magic way you described that character from that god-awful-sounding-webcomic as acting.
You run up to your room.'SHITOHSHITOHSHIT' your scream mentally as you have totally forgotten about promises of 'Sausage' and 'Keilbasa'.Again the smell of fudge assaults your nose as you pass by Shirou's room"Heh. Fudge" You say.You walk into your room and you find someone in there.WHO IS IT?[ ] shirou[ ] keima[ ] erica[ ] other*You may roll a 1d4 if youd like*
>>17995867It's Shirou. He's asking why his room is fudge.Erica is there, and annoyed.
rolled 1 = 1>>17995867[x] KEIMARolling, what harm could it do
>>17995867Erica. She's been preparing herself. HER BODY IS READY.
>>17995850For refence>>17995831>>17995767>>17995721>>17995627Is not>>17995753You have also admitted ignorance to both characters referenced, so your opinion is rather invalid on the subject. And don't knock 8-Bit before you've actually tried it, it's not nearly as horrible as you believe.
>>17995867Erica. Time for hand to hand lessons followed by hot dickings.
rolled 4 = 4>>17995867Erica
rolled 1 = 1I'll let dice decide this.If I roll other, having Kuro (Nega-Shirou, whatever you wanna call him) in the room asking for more fudge might be funny.
Guys, we gotta install the damn bolt lock before dickings, or else, cockblock.
rolled 68 = 68Erica is hanging outside the windowKeima is there about the data on the bunny mode with suggestions
Shirou should be in his room attempting to eat the fudge
rolled 1 = 1Mfw im watching carnival phantasm as this thread goes up>[x]Shirou
[X] EricaNEVER FORGET... your cock.
Eject Shirou with a firm "Later."Install Lock.Soothe Erica.Proceed to engage in dogfighting, manuevering, targeting and then release payload.
rolled 4 = 4>>17995867two people: Amazoness and random.Amazoness is hungry, but actually wants to hug the bunny some more
rolled 3 = 3>>17995944Shirou should be in his fudge attempting to eat the room....What if Shirou ends up with HUGE jaw muscles from chewing all that fudge? That'd be a bit scary.
What is shirou was in his room when we dumped fudge in there?Is he in a tomb of fudge?Is he trying to eat his way out?
rolled 1 = 1>>17995988didn't respond when we knocked, probably wasn't in dorm. Could have been asleep though.
Why the optional 1d4, you ask?well if the roll corresponded with the person you picked ill use it>>17995904>>17995950> Shiroualso lol i love Carnival Phantasm=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=You walk in to find Shirou sitting on your bed.'GODDAMMIT SHIROU.' you scream in your head."HEY, SUSAN! HEY!" he enthusiastically greets you."Hey Shirou what's up?"'GODDAMMIT, I SHOULD JUST GET ERICA TO SHOOT HIM.'"THANKS FOR THE FUDGE! IT'S AWESOME!~""Err.. You're welcome.""I CANT GET IN MY ROOM NOW THOUGH. CAN I SLEEP HERE?"'GODDAMMIT SHIROU!'***best of first 5 1d100***'GET-RID-OF-SHIROU' CHECK.
rolled 29 = 29Go eat yer damn fudge!
rolled 73 = 73>>17996136Rollan'DICE GODS DON'T FAIL US NOW.
>>17996136No, you may not. You wanted fudge so badly that you entered my room unbidden. You will need to deal with the fudge yourself.
rolled 46 = 46>>17996152LOW ROLLS BEGIN
rolled 85 = 85>>17996136Eat your god damn way in.
rolled 92 = 92>>17996136Toss him out of a window. He may be a guest but we hate him. Also he's a terrible guest.
rolled 73 = 73>>17996157Forgot roll.
rolled 45 = 45Sorry but my room is only set up for one person
rolled 9 = 9"Hey Shirou, here's a really sharp knife to help you eat the fudge. Now run along and use it on your problem."Shirou's problem being Shirou. Maybe we'll be lucky and the idiot will hurt himself badly for his idiocy.
Oi, what's with all the Noko'd rolls? Anyways, good to see that the quest's still on.
rolled 72 = 72>>17996194This?
>>17996230People too stupid to get 4chan X or at least have the thread open in two tabs for rollin purposes.Alternately smartphones.>>17996245No we don't want to kill him or make him kill himself. The whole throwing him out because he entered unbidden thing is good.
rolled 50 = 50>>17996194This may have gotten a bad roll but it is such perfect dialoge, we must us it.
>>17996194As good as that sounds. >>17996170got the roll.=-=-=-=-=-=-=You contemplate throwing him out the window.But a trainee crashing into the quad would be too hard to explain."Hey, whats in the bag? IS IT MORE FUDGE?" Shirou asks eyeing the brown paperbag."huh? Er, no, It's Math homework.""Youre lying. Homework doesnt come in bags.""Uh... In Canada they do.""LEMME SEE. LEMME SEE!" He says while trying to grab the bag from you."GODDAMMIT SHIROU, THIS IS MY STUFF. Letgo!""NO. I WANNA SEE!" he says much like a child.The door bursts open.
>>17996136Tell me Shirou, would a true hero, a true friend of justice be thwarted by FUDGE, it is meant as a challenge, a way to prove yourself, go forth and defeat the fudge and don't come back until tomorrow.
>>17996305GODDAMNIT SHIROU YOU HAVE A ROOM FULL OF FUDGE GO AND EAT THATFUCKERICA, HELP!
rolled 7 = 7I was wondering OPWhy do you have so many pictures of hayate in a skirt?I never ended up seeing the series
>>17996305Gai steps in.He grabs shirou by a shoulder and spins him towards himself."Shirou-san. You are disturbing our friend Susan-san." He tells the aspie. "How about we go out to town on my motorcycle?""NO! NO! NO! I WANT TO STAY HERE. I WANT TO SEE WHATS IN THE BAG!"Shirou again attempts to grab the brown paperbag. It begins to rip from the two of you fighting for it.As it finally gives way, Gai gives Shirou a firm slap on the cheek
>>17996335I don't remember much about Hayate except his Lady, a 12 or so year old twintails blonde loli, kept dressing him up in girls clothes and getting nosebleeds thinking about it.
>>17996362I take back what I said earlier. We should kill him.
rolled 30 = 30>>17996362Hide the condoms in the book, protect the book, maybe (MAYBE) the locks will give him the hint.But probably not.
>>17996362Kamen Rider Wingman, this be the day i die.
>>17996362Manly tears of friendship.We need to find Karate Gai a gift after this, a gift thatshows him as much friendship as he's shown us.
>>17996335>Why do you have so many pictures of hayate in a skirt?Because uhhh... I like the costume design. yeah, that.It's not like i like guys in skirts or anything.It's a fun show, but the manga is better.i suggest trying a volume or so of it out
The bag tears and spills its contents.The sound of leather on flesh echoes through your room.Suddenly a puff of smoke.And HE is standing there.Tall, suave, and manly.The afro topped, glasses wearing, dark skinned shirou. "Kuro" if you may.He looks at you, and he looks at the locks on the floor.His gaze stops a bit longer on the box of condoms."Ah, It's all clear to me now." he says in that smooth drawl. "You were expecting company tonight, and clearly, We would be in the way."'Kuro-saaaaaaan~' you mentally say, swooning."Well, Gai." He turns to KamenRider, "I'll take you up on that offer.""Please have a great evening, Susan." he says as he and Gai walk out the door.Your pink haze filled eyes follow the two down the hall.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-PROBLEM SOLVED [?]What now oh master butlers?
>>17996524Clean up the bag, stow the rubbers, see to installing a lock.Brew up some tea and maybe see to mood lighting.
>>17996524Call Erica, install lock. Don't bother stowing the condoms for now.
rolled 28 = 28>>17996400What would be a good gift for Gai...Can we find a nice, justice-loving, martial arts girl for him somewhere?Maybe something to give him some casting ability?He seems to be doing OK, but we still don't know much about him.
rolled 69 = 69>>17996524Yeah, do this.>>17996544
rolled 24 = 24>>17996524Wat. Why did he turn into a black guy?>GET ERICA
>>17996524Clean up, make sure everything is dandy, install locks, invite Erika, think of gift for Gai, something he would deeply appreciate.
>>17996524Use master butlering to instal simple home hardware. (attach the locks)examine the frame to see about possible reinforcement, measure the door itself for replacement with something far more durable.next time we're in town look up the cost on buying something along the lines of a blast resistant door and frame.The room will be idiot proof after that.
>>17996554We could look into making a MAJAIK infused combat booster for Gai during our Alchemy Lessons.
rolled 86 = 86>>17996400>>17996554Get him a pimp hat.Him and mike need those.
rolled 16 = 16>>17996563Because we tested our homebrewed genderswap potion on him.As you might guess, it failed spectacularly.
>>17996554We could set him up with amazoness since they seemed to get along well during the combat trial.But I want her to be ours along with the girls we have already encountered so a justice loving mahou shoujo with ranged combat seems the best idea
>>17996563He turned into a that guy earlier when we tested our first potion on him.I guess a sudden jolt triggers the transformation now?
>>17996524The first time it happened, I didn't catch it, but this smells strongly of a Family Matters reference...
>>17996586I just realized.It is a potion of pure opposites...We need to test this on Sakura and Keima
>>17996655What?>>17996694he didnt turn female though
rolled 68 = 68>>17996694But then we'd just end up with Keima and Sakura.
>>17996694Or is it? Personally, I'm thinking it's more... refinement, than reversal.But that's not very entertaining is it?
>>17996717Well it makes an autistic white guy who can barely string a sentence together without derping into an attractive intelligent black man that even men want to screw.Seems more reversal than refinement to me
As your vision normalizes, and your head clears you decide to clean up. Closing the door, you grab the stuff off the floor. simply putting the locks down on your desk and stashing the box of rubbers in one of your drawers.You turn to the door itself and contemplate attaching the locks now or tomorrow."DO IT NOW BUTTMUNCH." Kraus says, "YOU KNOW YOU DONT WANT SHIROU BARGING IN AGAIN.""Yeah. That'll be bad."You take Jakob out from your hat and have him assist you in attaching the 3 locks, and the peephole. It's all accomplished easily with your skills of butlery.You clean up the wood shaving, and lock the door.You then ask Jakob back into the hat, and take it off. Activating Kraus, you request him to prepare the room while you fetch Erica.You hover on one of your saucers up to her bedroom window, the blinds are closed so you knock on the glass.She opens the blinds and window."You're late." She says sourly.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=GENTLEMEN. THE TIME HAS COMECHARISMA CHECK!****ROLL 2D100****First roll determines if you are picked [closest to 50]Second roll determines your charismaPRAY THAT YOUR DICEGODS BE KIND
rolled 79 = 79>>17996694>>17996717We do know someone with far more experience in Alchemy than us...Other random thoughts:- What's the internet-equivalent like here? Can we get Kraus to search for information of Alchemy online when we don't need him?- If we stick a knife into the hallway's ceiling, can Kraus use it to check who's coming? He's shown he can use his abilities through parts of the teaset at a distance, after all.- Is there a limit on how many teapots/crockery/cutlery we can have at a time? Can we dual-wield tea lasers?
rolled 5, 66 = 71>>17996800Alright. Let's do it.
rolled 86, 14 = 100Well hello mien engel sorry I am late but I had to ensure we wouldn't have the same result again
rolled 100, 38 = 138>>17996800I've done alright with the dicegods in the past, here goes nothin'
rolled 16, 8 = 24>>17996800Get on one knee, bow head, beg forgiveness from our mighty, beautiful Angel.>dice godsaaaaaaaaaaaa
rolled 78, 88 = 166Oh, how forever alone we will be...
rolled 98, 58 = 156>>17996828Oops looks like i got my numbers backwards there. The 100 should be in the second column.
rolled 88, 10 = 98Sorry, I had to make sure everything was perfect before I came to see you.
rolled 32, 7 = 39>>17996800I was unavoidably held up milady and shall endeavor throughout this evening to restore amends. Now what do you say to joining me for a lovely repast.
>>17996840>>17996828At this point, I don't even.They are toying with me. I leave it up to the rest of you gents.
>>17996775Yeah, I was realizing the ridiculousness of my theory as I was posting it.
>>17996800I was held up Erica, but I had to make sure everything was perfect and my new locks were secure. Please allow me to make it up to you.
rolled 42, 95 = 137>>17996849NOPE
>>17996863CEASE ROLLING FUCKERS.
rolled 63, 60 = 123>>17996862And I can't remember dice for shit.
>>17996801>- What's the internet-equivalent like here? Can we get Kraus to search for information of Alchemy online when we don't need him?AI-Device accessed network. Elsie seems to be quite profficient with using it.ryuu [your alchem teacher] says "experience is better than analysis."- If we stick a knife into the hallway's ceiling, can Kraus use it to check who's coming? He's shown he can use his abilities through parts of the teaset at a distance, after all.Possible.. but a knife in the ceiling would look weird.>- Is there a limit on how many teapots/crockery/cutlery we can have at a time? Can we dual-wield tea lasers? In non-combat mode, everything is unlimited [less drain on your reserves]But in combat, each piece of cutlery/service draws from your majaik reserves. The knives/forks/spoons seem unlimited. You've had a maximum of 2 cups out in combat. You can attempt to dual wield tealasers [why?]But it's inadvisable since you crash if you tax your resources too much
>>17996841Hey, let's go with this one.
rolled 98 = 98>>17996863We have a winner!
>>17996834Not with that roll
rolled 20, 88 = 108Wow you guys roll bad.Here let me try and roll for you.AlsoALLOWING MORE ROLLS for the next 2minutes.
rolled 45 = 45>>17996881I tried to trick the dice so we'd do well, but we got even better and I am completely OK with that.I might not be any use for a while as far as dice go, though, since there's probably going to be some heavy Karma to pay...
>>17996930Looks liek we're pretty set with >>17996863 boss
rolled 27, 28 = 55>>17996930LETS SEE IF WE CAN DO A BIT BETTER GUYS
>>17996930Uh dude see>>17996863>95Or if you're counting the first 5>>17996834>88
>>17996952It's closest to 50 that gets picked, or so he says. Which does make the 95 the winning roll, however.
>>17996863No need really45 95 Picked and we rock her so hard the whole dorm needs a smoke
>>17996943Do you understand how probability works? We are sitting on a 95. You don't reroll 95s.
rolled 70, 24 = 94>>17996952I didnt say 'First 5' that time.=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-"NOPE." you tell her."Yes you are." says. "Did you know that I was waiting for you to come back since sunset?""I tried going to your room but i found FUCKING SHIROU there."not wanting to push her any further, you say"Ah. I apologize, my meeting with mr.Ryuu took longer than expected.""You have no idea how much i wanted to open fire on him from outside the window. I only stopped myself since blood would be hard to get off the bedsheets.""Again, I'm sorry, I shouldave contacted you to tell you that the meeting was taking longer than expected.""Oh. Okay" She says, a small smile forming. "You need to make up for it though.""Of course." you tell her.
>>17997029>Charismatic NOPENot what I was going for, but what the hell I'll take it.Of course being a butler we are supremely qualified to provide the proper service(ing) to this young lady to make up for our tardiness.
rolled 83, 33 = 116>>17997029Okay, NOW get on one knee, bow head, and praise her as a goddess this mortal plain is unworthy to witness.
>>17997052Go easy on that noise brah. Compliments are great but gettin into like worship junk tends to freak out the bitches.
>>17997052Only use "Angel" rather than goddess, to continue prior nickname use
>>17997052 here>>17997055And do it in bunny mode.
>>17997052That seems a tad excessive, praise her and apologize profusely for our tardiness, call her Angel but we want charming not absurd.
>>17997052Man we are a classy as fuck butler. We will apologize for being late and pay her due compliments for being fine as hell, but there is no need for melodramatic crap.
rolled 98, 26 = 124>>17997029You pick her up in your arms and get back on the saucer.You float down to your room, and step inside.You look around to see that Kraus has outdone himself.The interior looks like it was ripped right out of a fine restaurant.a table set for two is in the middle of the room, with a bottle of wine chilling on a small stand nearby."You've not had dinner yet, right?" You ask Erica."Nope, got too engrossed in waiting for you.""Well then, let's take care of that."You sit her down and make a move to begin service. but her hand reaches out and grabs you."Won't you have dinner with me?" she asks you with a look in her eyes.
"But i nee-" But before you could finish, Kraus interrupts."SIT YOUR ASS DOWN. JAKOB WILL TAKE CARE OF SERVING YOU TWO.""But, J can't reach the table." you tell Kraus."Oh, but i can sir," Says Jakob as he steps out of the shadows.You are facing an anthromorphic rabbit, dressed still in a perfect copy of your own uniform."Ooooh, he grew big." Erica comments"No shit." You say in return."HE ASKED IF THERE WAS SOME FURTHER WAY HE COULD HELP US. I GAVE HIM THE MEANS TO TURN INTO THAT.""Yes sir," Jakob states as he guides you to a seat "The picnic earlier showed that my diminutive size, though handy, can't be all that versatile. So i requested master Kraus' help""IM ROUTING MAJAIKS FROM YOU TO HIM.""I can stay in this form for an hour, before i revert back.""ITS ALSO ACCESIBLE IN COMBAT. 5MINUTES TOP.""I see. well then Jakob, Kraus, I leave everything to you two." Jakob begins serving you two dinner. An entree of Garlic King Prawns on a herbed potato rosti drizzled with a sweet balsamic reduction comes first.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-TALK TIME.What do we talk about?>"my dice are rolling on thier own!"
>>17997186"Of course, Angel."Time for Jakob to play waiter?
rolled 30, 32 = 62>>17997199"So. We got owned by Santa. I'm unsure how to feel about this."
rolled 96 = 96>>17997199How do you feel about flying?What were you doing before being recruited?How was that first combat exercise for you?Stuff like that. Classy, caring stuff.
>>17997199Get to know her better, ask her about her life before she joined the IDPKB, nothing gloomy but get to know her better, if she asks questions about us answer honestly and we also ought to let her know our name isn't Susan, tell her it wasn't a lie it's more of a nom de guerre.
>>17997199Shit. Small talk. One of my many weaknesses.
rolled 3 = 3>>17997246Before the food is served we should make sure she isn't allergic to shellfish...Nothing kills the mood like an extreme allergic reaction
>>17997271... and I quoted the wrong post AND left my dice on...How unbecoming of me.I apologize.
>>17997199Did Jakob turn into that rabbit from Rozen Maiden?AwesomeAlso speaking of RozenMaiden.we should have an encounter with Shinku.She's put our tea skillz to the test
Combat mode bunny?
>>17997393I think Redwall style would be more appropriate
rolled 33 = 33>>17997199This seems like the fateful question, but:What would happen if Jakobman (or whatever you want to call that form) used Bunnymode? Would he move so fast that time would stop?Also, if Kraus can affect cutlery at a distance, could we throw a knife and have it enlarge in flight? I'm guessing it'd use more MAJAIK, but it'd give an element of surprise if the enemy isn't paying attention.
>>17997460Jakob can't use bunnymode.
You start chitchat with Erica."So... What were you doing before you joined up for the IDPKB?""Oh, I was a strike witch." She says, as pride, and a hint of sadness flashes in her face. "I was one of the Aces too.""What's a strike witch?" you ask, your interest piqued."Well, there was this war going on, and we were fighting aliums." She explains to you. "Female magic users were trained to use striker units ,those plane things on my legs, to fight the aliums with.""So you were a soldier?" You ask her."NO. I was a witch." she clarifies. "anyway, We won the war. And my home is now rebuilding.""The IDPKB sent an Ambassador to the witches a few weeks ago." She talks as she takes small bites of food. "And asked to open up relations with us.""High witch command of course jumped on the opportunity to 'spread thier wings' and sent some witches to be trained as IDPKB operative.""I was one of those picked.""If this goes well, My world's Witch Command structure might end up a standing arrangement with the IDPKB.""We supply Operatives, and we get more powerful trained witches in return.""Wait there are others that came with you?" You say as you jab a prawn with a fork"Yeah, There are 3 witches here. I was scouted for combat/enforcer training. One of my superiors is in command ironing out details of the agreement with the Bureau. And the third one was set to train with the nerds down in R&D."
>>17997519>R&DOh god Charlotte let's not go near them ever. EVER.
>>17997533>chalotte>NOPE.THIS IS OUR R&D WITCH
>>17997538But operator bunny doesn't seem gentlemanly enough for him
rolled 57 = 57>>17997565Erica with glasses? WHAT.>>17997533We have to go down to R&D.That's where we take alchemy lessons.
>>17997565>>17997577That be Ursula. Erica's twin sister.I smell shenanigans.
>>17997577Dude. Erica has a twin.She's the one working on the jet units in season 2.And If I know OP's style, it WILL be her.
>>17997565>>17997577>>17997592>>17997602TWINS THEY WERE
rolled 86 = 86Well, I guess we could ask if she likes flying?And what she thinks of fudge.
"Maybe you could introduce them to me some time.""Sure," her look darkens "But make sure you keep your mitts off them.""Jawohl." You reply with a mock salute."So, what about you?" Erica switches the tables. "Tell me about 'SUSAN'."The main course arrives, Jakob dishing out grilled lamb fillet on a bed of sweet potato puree, topped with rosemary jus & Parsnip chips=-=-=-=-=-=- SHIT GUYS, SHE WANT'S TO KNOW ABOUT US.WAT DO?
rolled 58 = 58>>17997661[x] CRAZY IVAN
>>17997661Seconding CRAZY IVAN
>>17997616Oh shit, all the potential puns flooding my brain!Dackeltrouble, dackeltime...
>>17997669SECONDED.But really, why did we say we were called Susan?
rolled 84 = 84>>17997661Come clean.It would feel nice to unload some.And if we do it right, we will get to "Come" and "Unload" tonight.
rolled 84, 96 = 180>>17997661THERE IS NO SUSAN ONLY ZUULActually, speak the truth.The awesome, heartbreaking, horrible truth.
>>17997684THIS. OP Could use it as an opportunity to retcon 'SUSAN'>Leonard defeelyoIs that our real name Captcha?
rolled 36 = 36>>17997661[x] CRAZY IVAN.Or, y'know, start off with some of the lesser secrets and try to divert the conversation back to her.
[x] CRAZY IVANTHIS COULD ONLY END WELL
>>17997661Well, our name isn't Susan, we panicked when we were recruited and said that and it's kinda stuck, I don't particularly mind but I thought you should know. My life before coming here really wasn't that interesting before the recruitment, had a few not so close friends and was well on track for an average life. No real problems in my life, loving parents and I was probably going to end up with a decent paying office job, but it was just bland until a monkey showed up and I became a magic butler.We need to come up with a real name.
>>17997661Before I tell you my name...I can see you, can you see me?
rolled 64 = 64>>17997712Actually, KRAUS set up[ some details for us back in one of the threads.Seems like we are Hayate from HnG. But we didn't get to meet Nagi, so maybe that's where the character diverted from
REVEAL EVERYTHING.It would be nice to have someone that isnt a psycho loli, or our Device, or a Teacher, to know who we actually were.>"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
>>17997739I'm hoping that Crazy Ivan is, essentially, coming clean.
rolled 17 = 17[X] Crazy Ivan.
>Welp you guys want it.=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-="Erica, do you know the story of Pandora's Box?"you say as you look her in the eyes. "Of course. A box that was supposed to remain closed, but someone opened it since she wanted to know""Indeed. And after Pandora opened it, all the evils of the world poured out." you say with a low voice. Your hand unconsciously forming into a tight fist."But there was also hope in the box." she reaches across the table and holds your hand. "Now tell me about yourself."You relax a bit and set your shoulders. "Very well, if you insist.""I was born to callus and unloving parents. I lived my life unable to rely on anyone. My older brother disappeared when I was a child, most likely to run away from our horrid parents.""I was left to struggle to keep myself afloat. I took jobs left and right. Pushing my body to it's limits. And learning quite a few skills along the way.""A few months ago, my parents vanished, leaving me a note telling me about a large amount they owed some 'nice people'."Your face settles into a steely facade."The very same 'nice people' tried to take me by force and harvest my organs for the black market.""I escaped from the 'nice people' and have been in hiding ever since.""And that's where Mike found me."-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=>Too dramu?
>>17997807Just right.Add:"But that's in the past, now, and there's one hell of a future to look forward to."
>>17997807No, it's fine, we've been acting like Hayate from the get-goPlus our false name is just like we were in one of the manga Nagi writes.
rolled 23 = 23>>17997807
>>17997807No, it's awright.
rolled 52, 55 = 107>>17997807Nope. Perfect.>>17997816>one hell of a futureI'd prefer "and my future... is full of fudge."
>>17997807also, we owe ~1.5 million USD if the actual debt from Hayate is accurate for us.We get paid 6200 USD a week, so in ~5 years we will have earned more than that amount, make it 7 years because of various costs and no more money owed.
>>17997807It's awwright, as long as we don't turn into a self pity machine unfitting of our butlery self.
>>17997826Naw, that's Shirou's future, and his room.
>>17997822>>17997836You guys have clearly not read Hayate no Gotoku, do so you shall be well rewarded.
>>17997836Future's so bright, we gotta wear shade, man. Got nothin to be self pitying about
>>17997807"And your real name?" she asks as she squeezes your hand."Hayate. I'm Ayasaki Hayate." You say with a small smile. "Pleased to meet you.""No. The pleasure is mine." She flashes you a bright smile."Anyway, That's all in my past." you say, as you straighten up. "I have the whole kickass future to look forward to. I dont intend to fudge that up.""That's the spirit." She says with a final pat on your hand as she gets back to eating.The dire mood lifted from the scene you try and talk her up some more."So, did you see what I did to Shirou's room?" you ask her."I didnt see it, since I've never seen it opened yet." She answers wit ha grin, But the whole dorm can smell it by now."What exactly did you do? Coat every inch of it in fudge?""NOPE. I filled it. That thing is a solid cube of ROCKHARD FUDGE."
>>17997836We can just go to them and either pay them off by selling a gorillion pieces of fudge or wash them out with a teanami and steal/forge their files on our debt.Or we kill them all.
>>17997857goddammit I love that series far too much, and now I need to re-read the damn thing for the awesomeness.
rolled 40, 80 = 120>>17997859Or we can just let them come at us, bro.
rolled 100 = 100>>17997834>>17997859We could introduce those "nice people" to Mike.
>>17997872It is unbecoming of a butler to not settle a monetary debt as soon as possible, and they are legitimately owed money.
>>17997874DAT ROLLMagic police trooper gorrilla with pimpcane vs some yakuza?Yeah theyre Fudged.
>>17997874Hmm, yes, how does the IDKPB feel about organleggers?
>>17997882>>17997874>>17997872I can't believe you people, suggesting that someone attempting to become a fine upstanding gentleman of a butler would do something so unsightly as skip out on a debt.
>>17997857Another compulsive lie?Good thing she's from another dimension.
>>17997896Oh, we'll see the debt repaid. We'll also see their illegal operations busted up good and proper.
rolled 76, 6 = 82>>17997896But stupid parents owe them, not us.Pretty sure it isn't legal to just go MY KIDS WILL PAY YOU BYE~ when someone owes you money.
>>17997911... when you owe someone money.Fucking dyslexia.
>>17997911True, but that's an issue with the parents, those gentlement other than their illegal organ sales have done no wrong other than wanting to be paid back.
Did we pull the whole "Fudge You, Fudge Me, Go Fudge Yourself and I Don't Give a Flying Fudge." yet?
Alright guys, don't fudge this up, I expect something fukken glorious come the day.
rolled 39 = 39...I just remembered the dorm room's doors open inwards.Since we filled Shirou's room with fudge, that door cannot physically open....Maybe we should reduce the amount of fudge to one massive block in the middle of the room than makes it nearly impossible to enter or move around, instead of ACTUALLY impossible to enter or move around.
>>17997929The room has a window, he's good.
>>17997898nope. legit. WORD OF GOD.>Always wanted to fix that SUSAN stuff.>and the butler set-up was too good not to use.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-"And he he did he take it?" she says with mirth in her voice."He reacted like Christmas, NewYear's, And his birthday came at the same time." you answer incensed,"Fucking Shirou." you both say at the same time.You share a laugh, as you continue."oh by the way, next time we see him, I need to show you something.""And what is that?" She asked curiously."Well, i fucked up trying to duplicate that gender-potion they set to trap us with on the first day. let me just say that the effects on Sshirou were interesting." You say as you think back to Kuro-san's grace, and charisma.YOu imagine running your fingers trough his hair... His voice as he calls out your name... His..."Hey. Hey, Teacup!" Erica waves her hand infront of your face. "You with me?"You snap out of the daze, "Ah! Yes. Sorry about that."Jakob clears the dishes from the main course and sets out dessert. A homemade sticky date pudding with butterscotch sauce & double cream.
>>17997947Where is that guy from?Damn. He's too fine to ignore.
>>17997969Seto no Hanayome.Seriously /tg/ I know you guys profess to hate animu and act like faggots about it, but at least be aware of some of the larger titles from the past decade.
>>17997975I saw quite a few Anime I was even on /a/ for a time, but never, ever heard of that thing.
>>17997969Seto no Hanayome.One of the few anime that /a/ thinks is actually funny.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Erica digs into dessert.Jakob reverts to his small form before you can do the same.He stands reaching over to him, you pat his head and say"Okay J. thanks for the help. You can go rest now, I'll take care of the rest."You pick him up and set him down near the hat you keep on the windowsill."Goodnight Master, Mistress." he says with a bow. "Please enjoy the rest of your evening.""Oh, I'm sure we will." Erica replies with a smirk.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/17995372/i'm no expert on archiving so please let me know if i did something wrong or if i did it to soon.
>>17998011Yeah, tad early. Next time, wait for OP to tell us we're done.
"She turns to you." A hint of mischief in her eye."Hey, you know seeing big Jakob reminds me of something."You don't like how that sounds."And that would be?" you ask her nervously."BUNNY EARS." she answers as she leans over the table to grab your collar. "Big bow. Nice frilly skirt. Cute striped panties."'SHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT.'In your mind, a thousand little men are running around in a control room, red lights flash, screens display "ABORT!".-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Wat do, oh master butlers?>fucking captcha, takes me around 4 tries to get one to work.
>>17998073[x] CRAZY IVANFor once id like to see this implemented.
rolled 49, 98 = 147>>17998073"Okay, but on one condition. If I don't wear pants, neither do you."
>>17998073OH NO SHE DOESN'T[X] BOUNCE REVERSAL
>>17998073[x] do a barrel roll!
>>17998084>49, 98HAHA TAKE THAT IVANFAGSBUTLERS GONNA BUTT
>>17998073TAKE IT LIKE A MAN
>>17998101he wasn't asking for a roll though.WHY YOU WASTE THE DICE?![x] CRAZY IVAN[x] DIVE! DIVE! DIVE!
"One condition. No striped panties."
>>17998073You want us to go all bunny ear crossdressing you have to provide something of similar value, tit for tat. No pants or you also going bunny/cat girl on us or something of that ilk
>>17998084She ALREADY doesn't wear pants.
"Perhaps, if two conditions are met. Something similar for you, and no panties."
>>17998073Go with it, Like A Boss."Oh? I didn't know you were in to that sort of thing. Though as a Butler, I must strive to ensure your "entertainment."
>>17998073MAKE SURE THE FUCKING DOOR IS LOCKED!
>Attempting CRAZY IVAN-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-"NOOOOOOOOPE!" and you try to pull away.She proves too strong and she keeps a firm hold on your collar."oh, youre not getting out of this."She takes the her hat off her head and places it on your own."Guess what data Elsie showed Frau earlier?"She declares with an evil look in her eyes.She pulls you up off the chair by your shirt."Frau, Engage disguise, use that data we have.""Roger." Her hat replies.Your butler clothes dissolve and reform into a perfect replica of BunnyMode."Wha~!""Heh. Bunny." She says.
>>17998192we need an adult.
rolled 1 = 1>>17998192Lock the doorGet on the floorDo the Hartmann
>>17998192"Well, great. Now you're the only one in the room wearing pants."
"Well then, miss Hartmann. Your turn."
>>17998192"You see," this is much more fun. "I heard from Elsie that the Bunnymode only lasts for only sixty seconds."she twirls you around, the skirt flaring to reveal the tie-up striped panties."but by duplicating only the outfit using Frau, I can make this last AS LONG AS I WANT""HAHAHAHAHHA YOU LOOK LIKE SUCH A FAG." Kraus says from his spot on the table, now fully able to enjoy the sight since hes not part of the outfit."Kraus, do please shut up." Erica says as she gives him THE LOOK."Yes'm" Kraus replies sheepishly "Now Kraus, please clean the table up and go on stand by, I don't think we'll be needing your services for a while."The table disappears, your room goes back to normal.Kraus in teaset mode is on the desk, silent.'Holy shit. She can even shut Kraus up.' you think 'I'm fucked.'
Demand tit for tat.We better fucking see some skimpy outfits happening on her right this instant
>>17998233Bro, do you want to get us killed?
>>17998232TAKE ME NOW
>>17998232>'I'm fucked.'THAT'S THE PLAN.Well, she's clearly taking the lead, let's just play along.And by 'play along' I of course mean 'CRAZY IVAN'.
>>17998232You've lost all the chips in this little game. That means you've only got to gain! Throw caution and safety to the wind and take her.
>>17998247>take me nowFuck that.Let's get going.
I know this is totally meta and all, but I seem to remember that when any of the strike witches used their magic, they grew little ears and tails...You guys can do what you will with this informationAlso, as many have already stated in this thread... She's not wearing any pants... she never wears pants, she just sometimes has airplanes for legs...
>>17998232Deciding to take it like a man, you stop trying to struggle.You stand there at attention."Now... What should i make you do?" she ponders. "ah, I know. Do a little twirl for me.""MA'AM YES MA'AM." and you do the most elegant twirl you can muster."Hmn, that outfit looks too good on you. I'm sure there are people out there that would pay to see this." she says as she walks towards you and lifts the hem of your skirt. "Even these panties look dangerously good on you." she says as she playfully tugs at one of the bows that hold the panties in place."I wonder though. Our combat outfits are generated according to personal preference. Do you actually like dressing up like this?""MA'AM NO MA'AM." 'shit she's in control again.' you think. 'eh. what the hell.'"Then why the striped panties?""BECAUSE THEYRE EASIER TO MOVE AROUND IN MA'AM""I see, then this must make it much easier to move." She pulls the bow undone.-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=->why boner
>>17998282HERE WE GO.ARE THE DOORS LOCKED? inb4 shirou
>>17998282Me gusta.Double check door and window locks.
>>17998282more like>boner Approved
okay guys.Give me some rolls.I wont say what for.But just roll your 1d100s
>>17998282LOCK DOORS AND WINDOWSPREPARE TO DIVE
rolled 93 = 93>>17998282yesyesyesyes
rolled 3 = 3>>17998315oh boy
rolled 47 = 47>>17998315Uh oh.
rolled 34, 94, 66, 19, 2, 100, 35, 34, 97, 87 = 568>>17998315Rollin!
rolled 86 = 86>>17998315I hope we're not rolling for anal circumference.
rolled 36 = 36>>17998315welp this is going to end badly.
rolled 7 = 7>>17998324>1d100s>rolls 10d100
>>17998321aw shit son what are you doing
rolled 16 = 16but is Susan's
rolled 34 = 34You could say*pic*we're fucked.
rolled 34 = 34>>17998345AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT
rolled 27 = 27>>17998350>>17998345
rolled 40 = 40
Frau on our head?mentalitatablah something embarassing about her from the device if at all possible.or you know... get dominated like a boss.
rolled 46 = 46"Now, while I'm totally alright with this, but isn't it rude to not let Frau and Kraus... you know."
rolled 37 = 37>>17998315how many rolls do you need ?
>>17998372Absolutly, Frau is our guest as well, and we should treat our guests accordingly.
rolled 19 = 19>>17998374Just keep rolling, we may come out of this yet.
rolled 37 = 37>Something trivial>Roll molto bene>Get sex with Erica>Rolls>Let's roll badly like always!Pic related, RNGs. Pic. Related.Fucking cockblocking pieces of die.
Erica starts growing in size and shape, While you notice that the room starts growing larger as well."Wah what is going on?" you ask as your voice raises in pitch.Where Erica once sat is now a handsome young German man. "Ahh don't be afraid I think bunny mode looks good on you Susan sweety." His husky accented voice replies.Slowly he takes off you panties
rolled 24 = 24>>17998394Well, okay.jpg
rolled 84, 72, 47, 7, 35, 9, 46, 40, 53, 27, 76, 40, 96, 99, 14, 26, 76, 82, 97, 71, 1, 4, 85, 16, 86 = 1289>>17998394
>>17998400Aaaaand now OP needs a tripcode.
rolled 2 = 2>>17998410*clap clap*
>>17998410It would appear that 25 dice at a time is the limit
rolled 63, 10, 87, 68, 64, 86, 99, 42, 61, 98, 68, 81, 70, 69, 97, 70, 72, 27, 38, 1, 59, 46, 27, 85, 16 = 1504>>17998424Incorrect
>>17998413added the extra i just for fun and cause this is taking too long
"Wha!~" you yell out.The panties fall to the floor as she reaches under your skirt to advance on your Capitol.She then strategically positions herself to overwhelm it with her oral assault.Your defenses are no match for her superior fire power. And in mere moments you feel your little general ready admit defeat."E-erica..." you say as your fingers run through her golden locks.
rolled 19 = 19we...we didn't roll LOW enough?ARGH whatever we're the butler, we exist to serve.
>>17998453you DIDNT want to get dominated by a german fighter ace?wtf man
>>17998447really glad he averaged that time instead of first/ highest roll
>>17998453We should be glad we didn't roll higher. Can you say "Goddamnit, Shirou!"?
>>17998447Totally ok with this.
>>17998447This happened right when I got to the Alice Blowjob in the new Monstergirl Quest2 Patch. Are you a wizard, OP?
The town is bathed in light.A brisk wind sweeps across the streets.In the distance a single headlight approaches.A song plays in the breeze.~Semaruuuuuuu shockah Jigoku no guundaaaan~ An old lady, her eyesight not that good at nighttime attempts to cross the road to get to a convenience store.Tires screech.Someone yells out.Shirou lays on the pavement after being ejected out of the sidecar attached to KamenRider's bike.Gai, gets off the bike and helps the old lady cross the street before he picks up the mangled shirou and dumps him back into the sidecar.Pulling his hand back, he once again delivers a slap to the battered face of his passenger.Kuro-san, back once again, nary a scratch on his dandy frame, turns to his companion."Hey, want to hit up some bars?"The bike roars back to life.
>>17998511>Pulling his hand back, he once again delivers a slap to the battered face of his passenger.Oh? It turns on and off by slapping on the face?Haha.I can imagine now: Shirou does something dumb as shit and embarrassing, like groping a girls boobs without realizing it. She slaps him. He turn into Kuro. The girl's loins get hot.
>>17998526>>17998534Any violent shock will do.he turned back to Shirou by falling off the bike.[Kurou san tried to dive to protect the old lady, seeing as he was on the bike as well, it ended up quite badly for him]
>>17998553We really should look into a way to fix this.Not that it isn't funny but kurou could start beating us in bitches pulled... And we have a bit of an obsession with him
>>17998553We need to find a way to make Kuro permanent.And make a potion for us that stops from getting reduced to swooning mess whenever we are near him.
The assault stops as suddenly at it had begin.A ceasefire? no. its a demand for surrender.Erica gets up off her knees and stare you in the face."Say please." She commands you and you are more than happy to comply."Please, Erica-MMPGH." her mouth covers your.As your delegations discuss the terms of surrender, she pushes you towards the bed.The back of your knees hit the frame and you fall down.Erica climbs on top of you and pulls off the rabbit ears. "Frau, Standby mode." the ears once again turn back into her signature hat, and she tosses it on the desk. It expertly lands right on top of Kraus' pot.Your clothes disintegrate and you find yourself once-more wearing the white Bureau blazer.She pulls off your tie and rips your shirt open.She expertly removes your belt and pulls down your fly."Now, you take my clothes off."You reach up, and begin to unbutton her jacket and shirt, she shakes them off and leans over you again. Her soft smooth skin against yours. "Good boy." She says before restarting the negotiations.......You wake up, the sunlight streaming in through your window.You feel a weight resting on your left arm.You look down to find her head using it as a pillow."Good morning, angel." you tell her."Goo~ Monin~" She sleepily answers.She looks up at you and panic forms in her face."KYAAAAAAAAAA~!" With strength even greater than what she showed the night before, she pushes you out of the bed.Your back hurts from the fall, beside you a topless Erica rubs the sleep from her eyes.
>>17998619I don't think thats likely.You know since it seems we are secretly gay for him
>>17998635Nice fade to black LG...Way to stay classy
>>17998635Well. I think we might have to cancel the whole 'genderswap Shirou and seduce him/her' plan.
>>17998662No we keep the plan.But shirou becomes out guineapigfor various potions we make as well.we will just pay him in fudge
>>17998676W keep the plan and have erica along for to play with him
Next time on Mahou Shounen Quest."Zwei Flügel"=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-Okay guys, i wont be here tomorrow morning [or whatever time that is on 4chan.]So the quest will start later than it usually does.I think i'll look into a tripcode=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=2 days in training you you bagged your first inter-dimensional pussy. Congratulations!~
>>17998635TWINS THEY WERE!
rolled 52 = 52>>17998694Great shit, man.I look forward to more butlering adventures with you.
>>17998635>"KYAAAAAAAAAA~!" With strength even greater than what she showed the night before, she pushes you out of the bed.Fuck this shit.
>>17998758Psst, Erica fell to the floor with us.ergo, that one that pushed us out of the bed was UrsulaHow'd she get in there, We don't know.But this can only be the start of great things/.
okay. found a tripcode.Landing Gear DOWN<Keima's upgrade?
rolled 3 = 3>>17998865hell yes
I must say that I real like this quest! I love to see the continue of this quest.
>>17998911seconded...Your doing a great job OP
when do we get to fight santa again?
Just to confirm:Is this Santa here Santapire, the vampire with hyperspeed?http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Santapire
>>17998947that explains alot.
rolled 65 = 65>>17998947That explains everything.
>>17998947Man, Kris Motha Fuckin' Kringle doesn't need to be a vampire to be the fastest motherfucker in the multiverse.