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  • File : 1329085729.png-(127 KB, 510x546, 1328671372600.png)
    127 KB Warhammer 40: Heretical Love Part XXIII Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)17:28 No.17917036  
    Previous threads under "heretical love" on 1d4chan
    Twitter: hereticalloveq

    Eira looks for a final time as the glowing hot slag drips from the decimated ship. At the seven headless corpses littering the ground. She cares little for the happenings of mon’keigh, but she obeys her teacher.

    A dataslate she’d picked up proves mildly interesting. A picture of Eshwe’s mon’keigh, with the words “Primary Target” listed above it. Eira is a bit bemused to be finally putting her knowledge of the mon’keigh written language to work.


    With a glance she acknowledges the scout, who stands at attention.

    “A blood trail, heading east into the woodland.” He informs her.

    “How far in?”

    “Unknown yet, should we follow?”

    Eira looks around the area, bristling, ready for trouble.

    “We’ll go in as a group, remain vigilant, I fully expect some sort of plot.” She hefts her own sword to get her point across.

    The Eldar form up and walk toward the edge of another ridge. Sure enough, even in the diminished light she can see the drops of blood leading up the sandy rise.

    “How did you miss this?”

    “Apologies, Farseer. We picked it up on our second pass.”

    “Make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

    “Affirmative.” The scout nods, having known his mistake. It may not have mattered much here, but in a different scenario it might have meant everything. Eira’s duty was to make sure they knew that.
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)17:31 No.17917070
    Wow, literally perfect timing. HERETICAL LOVE, FUCK YEAH! Also, Papa, I've spent some time creating an Administratum data file for the Galactic Partridges (Still WIP), would you like me to share?
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)17:33 No.17917090
    do want
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)17:34 No.17917110
    Pushing her mind out, she can feel through the plethora of life blooming in the forest. The massive trees down to the smallest of insect. And another presence. A fading presence.

    A lone figure, lying on the ground. The small opening in the canopy above pouring down moonlight onto him.

    “Identify yourself!” She shouts out, calling the challenge to the unidentified man.

    A pained, wet cough is all that answers.

    “On me.” She tells her scout team, who form up. The Eldar approach, arms raised, fingers poised lightly on triggers. Eira stops them without a word when she recognizes him.

    “You?” The Farseer questions in a low tone. She doesn’t know what kind of trick he’s trying to play. Until she sees the wound through his abdomen. A devastating hole, staining the bed of leaves with slick blood.

    Cautiously she approaches, her finger leaving the trigger of her pistol. His face is one of recognition, pale from blood loss.

    Eira takes a knee beside him, taking off her helmet as she does. Eight is visibly shaking, one hand pressed hopelessly to his wound. She knows little of mon’keigh physiology, but she knows enough to realize he doesn’t have long.

    “You two ov…!” Eira’s barking order is cut short by the Vindicare putting a hand on her knee and shaking his head slightly.

    A small gesture toward a pouch on his suit. Eira reaches inside and withdraws a partially crumpled package. Though she doesn’t understand their fascination with such things, she withdraws one of the cylinders and places it in between his teeth. It takes her a moment to work out the lighter, but eventually she gets it down and the glowing orange cherry illuminates Eight’s face as he draws in.
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)17:35 No.17917123
         File1329086138.png-(55 KB, 510x546, harrypartridge.png)
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    Very well then.


    DATE: 923.M41


    NAME: The Galactic Partridges
    PRIMARCH: Ollanius Partridge
    FOUNDING: First

    DESIGNATION: Second Legionnes Astartes
    (Addendum: The Galactic Partridges were the first Legion to be created by the Emperor of Mankind, but in their grand benevolence, ceded thus illustrious title to the Dark Angels, in the hopes that the Knights of Caliban would follow in their example. To this day, the Dark Angels often bear winged iconography, to honor the sacrifice of the Partridges on their behalf)

    ALLEGIANCE: Imperium of Man

    HOMEWORLD: Peart'ree (Also known as Terra Secundus, for the grand nature of Peart'ree), Peart'ree Sector (The Peart'ree Sector is comprised of 501 worlds, a number of great pride among the Galactic Partridges, placing their empire above even Ultramar [Though that is to be expected])

    BATTLE-CRY: All Glory to the Partridges! Haters Shall Hate!

    STRENGTH: Nominally 1000 marines, + 200 Command & Support Staff. NOTE: This number never varies, as no Partridge has ever perished in battle. (See data entry: Supreme Egomancer Kaiba for possible exception)
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)17:36 No.17917131
    “Are there any left?” She asks him pointedly, concerned for her squad at the prospect of an unseen foe.

    The assassin shakes his head, and she takes the hand he offers to her in her own.

    Eira nods, noticing his grip and trembling weakening, his eyes growing unfocused as they stare into the star strewn black above.

    Silence passes, but his time of suffering is short. Shaking turns to twitching, ragged breaths to light gasps for air.

    The Farseer lays his arm back by his side. Reaching out slowly, her fingers meet his lids, and close his lightless eyes. She sits there for a moment, beside the still corpse.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)17:37 No.17917152
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    I like it
    >> That McGuyver 02/12/12(Sun)17:38 No.17917171
    Damn you papa, I try creating a few DnD settings, come here for inspiration, and now have to work on them knowing this is going on. How can I feel such love and hate at the same time?
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)17:38 No.17917172
    Perhaps I should start dump in another thread? Looking at it, this file is pretty huuuge. Also, it seems as if it is only you and I today Papa.

    ..Did you just kill Eight?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)17:41 No.17917207
    Continue Papa....
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)17:42 No.17917225
         File1329086561.gif-(479 KB, 426x267, 1325371102510.gif)
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    oh god,
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)17:45 No.17917258
    This can't be true. First you steal our arm, then you take eight from us. Were we not good enough for you, papa?
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)17:47 No.17917299

    Obviously we made eye contact too often the last time Papa HUE HUE HUE HUE'd us
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)17:47 No.17917311
    We can fix this, we got the heresy!
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)17:49 No.17917331
    You pause for a moment at the fleeting sensation in your mind. Something seemed off, but you only felt it for the brief lapse of a second. Unsure of what to make of that, you do your best to put it from your mind. The battle has been won, though the war remains.

    “Alright there, Max?” Helena asks, taking a sip of the mug the Soritas offered to her. You’ve downed about half of your own.

    “Yeah, I think so?” You shrug, feeling a bit off still.

    “Good, because Frederick and I have to get back for roll call before they realize we’re missing.” She hops off of the table she’d been sitting on, tech-priest in tow.

    “Alright. Nice to meet you man.” You raise your mug to Frederick who gives you a wave with a mechanical arm as he’s dragged along.

    Ah these damn kids and their love games, you smirk and take another drink. Well at least he’ll keep her out of your hair.

    “Pretty decent fight, eh?”

    You turn around to a beaming Lycheria, absent her chainsword and flamer. Her armor flecked with a bit of blood and giblets from the battle.

    “Not too shabby, shame Abbadon got away.”


    Night has fallen and you don’t really feel like going anywhere. The Sister’s HQ is relatively safe, more so with Rex parked outside, the hum of his engine still audible from inside the building. It gives you some comfort to know there’s a pile of guns and armor waiting for anyone foolish enough to try to attack.

    The Sisters don’t seem to mind you staying the night, both you and Mika take them up on the offer. In fact, you find yourself on the fringe of conversation as Lycheria seems to take to Mika quite well. The shy tech-priestess doesn’t seem to quite know what to make of the Soritas all fawning over her. It offers a brief respite from your usual hustle and bustle, which isn’t something you mind.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)17:55 No.17917465
         File1329087344.png-(57 KB, 356x316, 1318626453398.png)
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    I know you said two threads left, but I'd REALLY like a stab at the necron again. I don't know what we could do different, but maybe with some techpriest help or just our dumb luck, I'd still like to try to fix her.

    Also, we only visited the ork girl once, and never got an opportunity for sexy shenanigans, so maybe that too.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)17:58 No.17917520
    eight dying?
    not sure if hue...
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)17:58 No.17917534
    Morning comes too early, as does the serenade of groggy Soritas complaining as they don their armor and rip into breakfast. Apparently they were going to let you stay asleep, as neither Mika nor Lycheria are present when you finally peel your eyes open a few hours later.

    “Going somewhere?”

    Slowly you turn, leg half-placed inside its greave, toward the voice.

    “Oh, Canoness, how nice to see you.”

    “Cut the shit.” She growls, and you realize how quite exposed you are in only half of the armor.

    “You wrecked my bike, and I’m none too thrilled. Find me a new one or I’ll incinerate you myself, Knight Commissar or not.”

    As quickly as she appeared, she leaves. You don’t waste time and hastily encase yourself in the Grey knight power armor. She doesn’t seem stable enough to not come back and just barbecue you anyways.

    Stepping out into the forum, you are quite perplexed to be the only one there.

    “Hello?” Your voice echoes across the brick walls, and is greeted in turn by mere silence. Until your communicator goes off.


    “Oh good, you’re awake! I got you some new batteries, make sure to charge them before they go dead this time!” Lycheria chides you.

    “Sure, that will totally happen. Where is everyone?”

    “Oh that minor detail? We’ve kidnapped your tech-priestess friend and are headed for some R&R, no boys allowed.”

    “…So where is that at?”

    “Call you soon Maxy!”


    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:02 No.17917617
    I second this. The poor girl have gotten far to little attention. We totally ned to see Karen again to.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:03 No.17917636
    Upon stepping into the bright mid-day, you notice even the baneblade is missing. They took him along too? Lucky metal box…

    Though the Soritas left you food, you found yourself none too hungry and left it alone for the most part. A fact you rather regret now, but looking the hundred yards back at the HQ you realize you’ve already gone too far.

    This adventure of yours is drawing to a close, you know that. The final battle with Malal is bound to happen any day now, once this new hodgepodge alliance gets together at last. With that knowledge in hand, you figure it might be best to close up some loose ends.

    [ ] Chill with da Orkz, get waaaaggghhy

    [ ] Give the Necrons another go, surely it will turn out better this time around

    >wow, Sunday evening is pretty slow. Dayum shame I couldn't do this yesterday
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:04 No.17917658
    [X] Chill with da Orkz, get waaaaggghhy

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:05 No.17917675
    [x] Chill with da Orkz, get waaaaggghhy
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:05 No.17917676

    By the way papa, i haven't been able to post much in these quests, mostly because i live in Europe, but i seriously love them. Don't ever stop being awesome.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:06 No.17917693
    I was pretty surprised at how many eurobros follow this, though sometimes the timing does work I think?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:07 No.17917716
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    Thanks Papa-N.

    Anyways, I vote Necrons. Just in case we really fuck up again, we'll have time to recoup chilling with da Orkz. I don't think we should do it the other way around seeing as if we horribly fuck up with necron's we will be messed up RIGHT before the final fight.

    >scientific tregiou
    Not quite, capatcha.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:08 No.17917740
    [ ] Chill with da Orkz, get waaaaggghhy
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)18:09 No.17917748

    Don't worry Papa, we support you. ONLY IN DEATH, DOES HUE HUE HUE END. Also, lets get krumpin with da Orks!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:09 No.17917749
    [x] Chill with da Orkz, get waaaaggghhy
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:10 No.17917773
    Dutch bro here, loving this shit though the times conflict with my sleeping schedule. Also Necrons.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:11 No.17917777
    I prefer to do necrons now, seeing as after I can chill with the orkz for a little bit before the big smash.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:11 No.17917780
    Mostly, i'm late for class because i always read the archive the morning after theres been a new thread. I have been able to catch the occasional overtime thread, and there's always those evenings i tell sleep to go fuck itself.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:12 No.17917812
    [x] necrons
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:13 No.17917827
    [X] Orkz!

    Also, I'm glad to see that Knight Commissar seems to have stuck.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:14 No.17917848
    4-4 tie?
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:15 No.17917855
    wait nevermind, orkz have it by one
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:15 No.17917857
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:15 No.17917859

    Britfriend here, I don't have to get up for work until about 11AM Monday so I can hang about with this 'til 2 or 3 AM. FUCK YEAH.

    Did you ever figure out why 1d4chan links are blocked?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:16 No.17917875

    Also loathe as I am to say this:

    >[x] Give the Necrons another go, surely it will turn out better this time around

    Just don't fuck around. Reprogram that bitch. With plasma. To the face.
    >> Leeginn 02/12/12(Sun)18:16 No.17917876
    necron dat shiet
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:18 No.17917910
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    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:19 No.17917943
    >“Oh that minor detail? We’ve kidnapped your tech-priestess friend and are headed for some R&R, no boys allowed.”
    I demand we get to see that. DEMAND.

    also you did this so we can't get her to help us with yanderecron didn't you? jerk.

    [x] reprogram anyway
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:20 No.17917949
    get wid da gitz
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:20 No.17917952
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    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:20 No.17917975
    [X] necrons
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:20 No.17917978
         File1329088856.png-(637 KB, 719x543, 1305761005925.png)
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    >That feel when we'll never reporagram yanderecron
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:21 No.17917992
    rolled 2 = 2

    Too close to call and for sake of time

    2=da boyz
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:22 No.17917998
    let there be necrons
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:22 No.17918010

    Awwh. Oh well, at least Max gets to live a little longer.

    And please don't let Eight be dead!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:23 No.17918012
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    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:23 No.17918033
    Whoo, new HL! My votes on orks! We must have the ultimate guitar showdown!
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:24 No.17918044
    rolled 2 = 2

    Looking at your communicator, you can only pick out two groups you really haven’t gotten to know too well. Karen and da Orkz, because you’ve only spent a day with them. And Tonya’s Necrons… Because so far they’ve cut off your arm, tried to turn you into one of them, and have generally just been downright batshit.

    “Yeah not up for that today…” You punch in Karen’s number.
    “Oi you gits! I told ya ta paint it red not blue! Now quit muckin about and git ta werk!”


    “Ah, sorry Max! It’s pandemonium here right now!” She laughs tiredly.

    You’re taken back for a moment by an Ork using the word pandemonium, and Karen asks if you are still on the line.

    “Yep. So what’s going down?”

    “Well, to be honest two things. One, trying to get these idiots to realize we are teaming up with you guys. Two, the film krew for “Top Mek” is here.”

    “Top Mek?”

    “Yeah, you know,” Karen laughs, “They review Trukks and dakka and whatnot, great show really.”

    Intrigued, you hop onto the ex-canoness now-ORKZ bike and fire it up. Its lack of a functioning engine doesn’t stop it from chortling to life.

    “Sounds… Fun?”

    “Oh believe me, it is! Come check it out!”

    “Be right there.”
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)18:26 No.17918081
    I have arrived! New HL, fuck yer lets go!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:27 No.17918104
         File1329089224.jpg-(152 KB, 550x1228, 1318011982524.jpg)
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    >Two, the film krew for “Top Mek” is here.

    Yes. A thousand times yes.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:28 No.17918144

    > Its lack of a functioning engine doesn’t stop it from chortling to life.

    Does this mean Max is now channeling the WAAAAGH as well?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:29 No.17918159
         File1329089355.jpg-(5 KB, 251x179, 1274943188823.jpg)
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    >Top Mek
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:31 No.17918209
    rolled 2 = 2

    The Ork bike speeds along the uneven terrain easily on its oversized tires. As tantalizing as the “push-button-receive-speed” flashing red button is, you ignore it. Likely because you’re still a bit groggy.

    Not that you really needed it, the Ork camp isn’t too far off. You enjoy the scenery along the way. Somehow this place has really grown on you, which is something you would have never expected in your wildest dreams when you first arrived. Though that seems like ancient history, and you are certainly not good at judging time, in reality it was but a handful of days ago.

    A vast ocean that spans much of the planet, lively forests and gurgling springs, snow capped peaks of the mountains… You find yourself longing to stay somewhere like this. Though maybe without having to constantly escape death…

    Pulling up to the Ork camp, you see that it is indeed downright pandemonium. There simply isn’t a better word to describe it. Boyz are running about everywhere, stage lights and tools in place of choppas and flashy bits. They don’t even pause to give you a once-over as they dash place to place.

    You park next to a giant red trukk, the scale of which is impressive. Though you’re no expert on Orks, you figure they must be able to fit a whole lot of other trucks into this one, with room for some looted tanks even.

    “Oi, deres a humie ‘ere! Git krumpin boyz!”

    The brief moment of panic at the shout behind you fades as you turn to Karen, who’s wearing a bemused grin at your reaction.

    “Not funny.”

    “So wrong, very funny.”
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:34 No.17918279
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    >Three 2's

    Dice gods like da boyz.

    Pic related, it's what were going to do on the bed with Karen
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:35 No.17918293
    dat noko bro
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:35 No.17918300
    i lol'd
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:35 No.17918302
         File1329089745.png-(2.58 MB, 2657x2259, stig.png)
    2.58 MB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:35 No.17918307
    Wait, who will bail us out for trouble the next time we end up doing som over the top ridiculous shit? Papa, give us eight back!
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:39 No.17918398
    rolled 2 = 2

    As much as the thought is both interesting and completely and absolutely against everything you’ve ever known, there is one thing you can’t get over.

    Karen looks good. Damn good.

    “Hey, quit drooling or the boyz will think you’re one of them and grab you to help out.”

    “Wha? Right, sorry.”

    The Ork princess smiles before snatching you by the hand and pulling you toward her. Just in time to avoid a Nob on a bike from turning you into a smear on the pavement.


    “Oh so you noticed eh? Like I said, “Top Mek” is doing some filming here and wanted pavement for one of their sections.”

    “Orks can pave?”

    “We can do a lot of things, if we get around to it.” Karen frowns, but her expression quickly brightens again as she sees a stomping figure approaching.

    “Oh hi dad!” She calls out.

    “Wats dis den eh! We aint gots time fer beakies roight now, too much werk ta do so quit muckin about an git too it!”

    The Boss stops and peers down at you, his face squinting hard.

    “Oh, it’s you…” He grumbles.

    [ ] Hey Boss, we'ze gettin ta work, we'ze not muckin 'bout!

    [ ] You remember me? Great, I'm just going to stick around and flirt with your daughter!

    [ ] Check out my new flashy bits!
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:40 No.17918419
    >keep forgetting to turn off dice
    >all these 2's

    Vore gods wanted to get stuck in today I guess
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:40 No.17918421
    A) those are all referencing Papa-Ns posts
    B) none of those rolls are noko'd
    and last but not least, C) noko rolls can only be used to disguise purposefully rolling a smaller die, you cannot use the die roller to pick a specific number other than 1.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:41 No.17918429
    >[ ] Check out my new flashy bits!
    as if there were any other choice
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:41 No.17918430

    Oh god, I just figured it out:

    >Boyz are running about everywhere, stage lights and tools in place of choppas and flashy bits

    Is this going to be a Tour of Destruction, Brutal Legend-style?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:42 No.17918461
    ....Its Top Mek.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:43 No.17918471
    [x] Show off our flashy bits
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:43 No.17918472

    >[x] Check out my new flashy bits!

    Show him your dakka gubbins, he'll love it
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:43 No.17918479
    Top Mek is there

    [ ] Check out my new flashy bits!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:44 No.17918495
    Flashy bits!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:44 No.17918498
    [x] Check out my new flashy bits!

    Flashy bitz!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:44 No.17918504
    [x] Check out my new flashy bits!
    see if we can get more dakka
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:44 No.17918509

    What's the bet that Max'll be the Git in da Reasonably Priced Trukk?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:45 No.17918524
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)18:45 No.17918528
    [ ] Hey Boss, we'ze gettin ta work, we'ze not muckin 'bout!
    Get to work, then we play AC/DCs Big Gun (but its renamed Big Dakka)
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:46 No.17918544
    [waaagh] Show our flash to da boss.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:46 No.17918545
    I'm of to bed, Papa. I just want you to know that i love you.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:53 No.17918668
    flashy bits!
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)18:53 No.17918679
    “Oh hey Boss, check out mah flash!” You crack off several stormbolter shots into the air, before activating you armor release and revealing your mechanical arm. The lasfinger, plasma cannon, flamer combo makes quite a show as you shoot into the sky.

    It rolls well and you don’t manage to do any damage, though.

    “Eh! Dats roight flashy it is! Goona ‘ave ta git me one a dem double shooty bits!” He grins, chomping on his cigar, which you notice bears the same emblem as the ones Creed smokes.

    “Dis one ‘ere isn’t too much ova git, ‘es alroight Karen.” The Warboss gives you a friendly thump on the back, which would have possibly been fatal without the power armor to save you.

    Karen beams, and gives you a wink that says you did all of the right things. It makes your heart skip a beat, and even though this should feel decidedly WRONG, you don’t care because it’s a good wrong.

    “Now den, I needta git dese grots inta order.” The boss grunts, smiling at Karen before turning around to roar at several boyz just standing around. You wince as he clocks one over the head, which compacts the Ork to half its original standing height.

    “Your dad is… An alright guy.” You nod.

    “He can be, but the stress of trying to organize this is really getting to him. Today he put his boss pole on backwards.” Karen giggles.

    The thought of that even makes you laugh, which loosens you up. To hell with the old view of Orks, these guys are cool in your book.

    “Anyways, why don’t we go watch some filming!” She grabs you excitedly, and you find yourself wishing you’d maybe left the armor off for today, just to be closer to that athletic figure.

    “Hey!” She shouts, almost jumping with anticipation, “Da Squig segment is about to start!”
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:56 No.17918742
    >“Da Squig segment is about to start!”

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:57 No.17918763
    Did he loot Creed?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)18:59 No.17918813
         File1329091173.jpg-(30 KB, 294x400, Creed.jpg)
    30 KB

    ...you think that's a cigar you're holding?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:02 No.17918865
    More like Creed has had his fingers in some plots that helped the Orks.
    >> Frosted Weasel !!dLUhj2yYgMt 02/12/12(Sun)19:02 No.17918870
    Flashy bitz! Orks love flashy bitz like bitches like smily faces!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:04 No.17918887
    "were the hell are my cigs kell?"
    "did you try looking in this box?"
    "....oh right...you may want to find a safer place for these kinda things sir"
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:10 No.17918951
         File1329091843.jpg-(33 KB, 500x375, 1329004670755.jpg)
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    Ohgodyes, finally a new part of HLQ.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)19:20 No.17919063
    wut da zog, why can't I post?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:24 No.17919109

    It was being funny for me earlier, just keep at it. I think the servers' on the fritz again.
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)19:24 No.17919125
    Its the end of the world the myans were right
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)19:25 No.17919154
    “…Da Squig?”

    “Oh right, you don’t really know what this show is about, do you? Well basically… Nah I can’t really explain it, you’ll just have to watch yourself!” Taking you by the hand, she eagerly leads you through a crowd of Orks that only grows more dense the further walk.

    “Oi you gits, outta da way, princess comin thru!” A Nob, noticing Karen trying to weave through the crowd, shouts. And starts swinging a nasty looking power klaw around. If his booming voice didn’t clear a path, THAT certainly did.

    “Thanks!” She smiles at the Nob as she walks by, and he bows his head in return.

    Karen still leading, you feel a bit awkward as you tread through the path that opened up. Though a lot of Orks are trying to get a view of something ahead, many of them watch as you pass. Some look downright jealous…

    “Hurry, its starting!!!” She gasps, pulling harder. The two of you clamor up onto a set of bleachers, which you notice appear to be constructed out of nothing other than vehicle parts and more rivets than are likely necessary.

    For the first time you’ve been in the Ork camp, you really are caught off guard. Not by a noise or an action, but by a deafening silence.

    Three very distinct looking Orks are standing on a track of newly lain pavement, beside what you surmise was at ONE TIME a trukk. Now it appears to be nothing more than a set of wheels, a cab, and a massive cluster of rockets all facing forward.

    “Roight you gits, its toime ta test out dis ‘ere trukk. Now ta do dis we needed ah git crazy ‘nuff ta do it.”

    “Sum say e’s da reason red is fasta, and dat e’s actually wut happens when yous got ‘nuff dakka. All we know iz, ‘es called DA SQUIG!”
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:26 No.17919183

    That post kind of made me wonder if I would notice the end of the world. It could be raining blood and anguish for all I know, and I'm more concerned with the next part of HLQ.

    >"No, mayans, no!
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)19:28 No.17919211
    I want to say something, but I'm not going to spoil it. Doesn't concern HLQ though.

    On cue, a squat looking thing in a white suit and a massive white helmet pops up into view inside the trukk, and give the other three a solemn nod.

    The trukk begins to whine dangerously as its rokkits warm up. Their glowing orange tailpipes cast such a wave of heat that you can feel it even from the stands. They can’t possibly be thinking…

    Oh, you guess they are.

    The rokkits fully ignite all at once, and for a moment the trukk sits at a standstill. The next, it’s, well, rocketing down the track.

    You think the three Orks are commenting on the run, but you can’t hear them over the overwhelming roar of all those rokkits. The trukk is now whipping into a series of s-turns, and though you would have though it impossible, handling them quite well.

    Karen is standing up and cheering along with every Ork in the place, and testament to the noise of those rokkits, you can’t hear any of them.

    The driver of that trukk must be clinically insane, there simply isn’t any other option. Though this is the Orks and all, he’s actually accelerating going INTO turns and somehow it’s actually WORKING?!
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)19:29 No.17919230
         File1329092963.jpg-(33 KB, 320x400, Gotime.jpg)
    33 KB

    >Orks thinking they have the best racer around
    >Outraced Doomrider & Hell Talons, Surfed with Emprah

    Alright Papa, ring up Doomrider. We have a git to krump in a race. It's go time.
    >> Fallen Knight of /tg/ 02/12/12(Sun)19:29 No.17919233
         File1329092969.jpg-(4 KB, 126x126, 1327790881555s.jpg)
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    Gorram it, leaving in 5 min, find HL thread.
    Life, why do you do this to me!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:32 No.17919299
         File1329093150.gif-(826 KB, 1700x2338, 1325049095259.gif)
    826 KB

    >Implying even max could outrace the Stig
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:32 No.17919303
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:32 No.17919304
         File1329093159.jpg-(87 KB, 700x523, 1316665949303.jpg)
    87 KB
    Holy fuck yes,

    This is good and you should feel good.
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)19:34 No.17919336
    Shit apparently its a full /b/ invasion /tg/ /v/ /x/ etc are all being hit rumor is /b/ is down
    Men of /tg/ prepare to defend yourselves
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:38 No.17919399
    There's already a thread on it, don't bring it into this thread.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:39 No.17919404
    >shitting up a quest thread like that
    Fuck off faggot.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)19:39 No.17919419
    I wish I could hate /b/ to death but then again, I guess they at least stay contained there most of the time.

    “Isn’t this great!” Karen yells at you, and the rokkit-trukk is far enough away now that you can actually hear her.

    “It’s pretty awesome!” You have to practically scream back.
    The trukk looks like it almost flips over during a high-speed cone area. Where it plows through half of the cones, though that only seems to please the Orks more as they cheer louder.

    The whole run is over in very little time, and the trukk comes screaming through the finish line, several of its rokkits exploding as it does so. Even the cast of three Orks on the ground seem to be quite excited, it must have been a good time.

    At long last, the overwhelming torrent of sound of those rokkit engines dies down, and is replaced by the cheering of thousands of Orks. It takes several minutes of the three on the track to get them to all calm down.

    “Anotha great time by da Squig, dats da fastest yet it iz! Wut did ya think ah dat run ‘ammond?”

    “Roight good un, fastest time yeh.”

    “Hey, come on, we’ve got somewhere we need to be!” Karen grabs your hand again, and before you can protest that you want to keep watching, she’s dragging you off of the bleachers.

    In fact, the Ork girl doesn’t even give you time to talk as she races through the crowd, using her own choppa to clear a path this time. You’re a bit put off, you had wanted to keep watching.

    “Hey Karen, what gives!?” You finally get a chance to ask as she’s forced to slow down to let a deff dread stomp past.

    “Huh? Oh! You’ll see!” She gives you a very mischievous grin. Your trap sense is whining in full alarm now.
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)19:40 No.17919428
         File1329093622.jpg-(495 KB, 1131x1600, Badass Sanguinius.jpg)
    495 KB


    Also, Papa, Orks accelerating into turns, oh you
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)19:41 No.17919446
    hey im just the messenger just giving a heads up now back to heretical love
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:42 No.17919469

    >Trap Sense is whining in full alarm now.

    Time for some, hue hue hue?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:43 No.17919485
    She opens a dark tent and shoves us in there, alone.

    When we finally fumble with our arm enough to find the flashlight, we find the worst of our fears.

    It's fish-vore time.
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)19:44 No.17919494

    >Warboss has Creed's cigars
    >Orks might be learning tactical genius
    >Trap sense going crazy

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:45 No.17919516
         File1329093921.jpg-(23 KB, 251x230, 1274937436954.jpg)
    23 KB
    Creed jumps out of the Karen skin-suit

    >implying you wouldn't want that
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:45 No.17919519
         File1329093934.jpg-(27 KB, 476x353, Man witnesses invigorating sig(...).jpg)
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    Let's get it OOOON
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:47 No.17919544

    >Gargant appears from behind a small grot
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)19:47 No.17919550
    “No, seriously, where are we going?”

    Karen ignores you as she bounds across the road before another dread blocks the way. Normally you would be more than content watching the loot in her trukk bounce and wonder how your boss pole would look perched upon it, but you are far too worried.

    “Uh… Princess?” You chime again, and still find yourself either unheard or unheeded.

    Karen pulls you toward an opening into a dimly lit room, and finally the two of you stop. Looking around, you notice several odd looking Orks staring at you. One has a checklist he’s going over, and he nods in satisfaction. Two more are manning what appears to be a diesel powered camera.

    “Hey Karen?”

    “What Max?” She smiles sweetly, too sweetly.

    “Mind letting me know what’s going on?”

    “An nows da toime fer our next segmint we like ta call…”

    “Big Fukk in a little Trukk!”

    The speakers inside the small room answer your question for her.

    “…You didn’t…”

    “Make sure to have some fun!” Karen smiles, before pushing you through an open doorway, and into the bright area beyond.
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)19:50 No.17919588
    “Big Fukk in a little Trukk!”
    i am intrigued
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:50 No.17919590
    Better than Poor Little White Guy Part MXVII, I guess.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)19:50 No.17919598
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)19:51 No.17919615

    I can't tell if this means we're going to be the crowning humie in an Ork orgy or if we're going to be racing in the Ork version of Mario Kart. Either way, SET CRUISE CONTROL TO AWESOME
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)19:58 No.17919756
    this scares me... a little
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)19:58 No.17919757
    You stumble out rather clumsily, nearly tripping over your own armored foot. The Orks laugh, and despite yourself you can't help but feel a tad embarrassed.

    The three Ork MC's are waving you over to them, and though Admiral Ackbar is screaming in the background, you nonetheless walk over.

    "Now we'ze 'eard youz wif da princess, dat carrect?" The one with longer hair in a leather jacket asks.

    "I... Yeah?"

    "Lucky git!" The crowd bellows.

    "You eva 'eard of da Soozuki choppa, 'umie?" The Ork in the suit asks.

    "Err... No?"

    Da Squig comes rolling out of a nearby mekshop in what you surmise, must be the Soozuki. Well, they certainly weren't kidding when they called it little...

    Small, if anything, would be it's defining characteristic. Its basically just a box on wheels with seven tires. Yes, there are only three on the left side. Calling the miniscule engine perched in the front "quaint" would be more than it deserved.

    "Dis 'ere may not be da fastest trukk, or da biggest, but it don't take too many teef ta git one a deez!"


    "Now 'umie, you evah driven a waaagh transmisshun befoh?"

    "No, I can't say that I have." You shrug, very aware of the cameras pressing in from all sides.

    The three Orks stop talking, scratching their heads and looking a bit puzzled.

    "Ah well, 'ell be fine!" The one in the suit pushes you toward the trukk.

    "See humie, all ya gotta do is git da fastest toime ya can round dis 'ere trakk." The shortest one says, as though it were not completely obvious what they wanted you to do.

    "Look, we'ze even gotcha one in red, so its extra fasta!"
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:02 No.17919813
         File1329094945.png-(258 KB, 421x500, 1326778831241.png)
    258 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:02 No.17919817
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)20:03 No.17919839
    soozuki choppa? 7 wheels! waaagh transmission... what can possibly go wrong
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:04 No.17919852
    Can we even ride something that small?
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)20:05 No.17919874
    Sitting down at the Orks insistence, you realize immediately that for an Ork, this would be a cramped ride. You also realize that there is no steering wheel.

    "Hey, mind telling me how you steer this thing?" You ask, still looking over a bizarre assortment of gauges and dials, most of which don't appear to be hooked into anything. One is even simply nailed to the dash.

    "Hahahaha! You'ze a funny humie, da pedals ya git!" The long haired laughs.

    "Right..." There are at least twelve pedals that you've found so far.

    "And to shift...?"

    "We'z aint got toime ta splain everythin ta ya, on a skedule!" They close the door, leaving you alone. Inside this trukk. With absolutely zero guidance, really.

    Hesitantly, you reach out and do the one thing you would do in this kind of situation...

    [ ] Open the door, get back out, ask for help

    [ ] Press the red button

    [ ] Push the button with the skull on it
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:06 No.17919879
    we can certainly crash it
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:06 No.17919886
    [ ] Press the red button

    Red is faster
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:07 No.17919894
    rolled 2 = 2

    [ ] Press both at once
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:07 No.17919899
    We're a great driver, no problem.

    Red goes faster, right? hit that one, it worked well in the land raider.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)20:07 No.17919914
         File1329095266.jpg-(48 KB, 500x500, 064.jpg)
    48 KB
    >>Soozuki choppa
    >>painted red
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:08 No.17919924
    [x] Press the red button
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 02/12/12(Sun)20:08 No.17919927
    Damnit, HL is up and going and I have to do backreading! Ah well... better finish up quickly with the last thread and get to it here..
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)20:08 No.17919930
    [x] Press the red button
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)20:08 No.17919935

    >[X] Press the red button

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:09 No.17919938
         File1329095344.jpg-(94 KB, 425x282, 1271656360329.jpg)
    94 KB
    [x]Red Button

    Why not?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:09 No.17919947
    [x] Press the red button

    all day erry day
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:09 No.17919949
         File1329095385.jpg-(32 KB, 300x396, 1218737914_hit-it-crowbar.jpg)
    32 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:09 No.17919952
    What? Minna's not here...
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:10 No.17919961
    How did she get it out of her pocket?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:10 No.17919964
         File1329095430.jpg-(442 KB, 1606x928, 1310572395738.jpg)
    442 KB

    >[x] Press the red button

    What's the worst that can happen?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:10 No.17919970
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:10 No.17919971
    Push the Red Button!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:11 No.17919989
    Da Squig is Jeb Kerman. It is all so clear now.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:12 No.17920017
    it's mind over matter with all ork technology, so why not make use of it? we are great fishermen, but even greater motorists!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:12 No.17920018
    Red button, then skull, then ALL OF THE BUTTONS

    Then, all of the buttons AT ONCE
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)20:15 No.17920063
    Well yeah, there is only one thing you would possibly do in this kind of situation. You press the red button.

    The choppa lurches to life, it’s small engine chugging hard enough to actually shake the entirety of the pitiful vehicle. Hard enough, in fact, to shake the rear window right out of place. It falls loose and shatters against the ground, much to the delight of the Ork crowd, it would seem.

    Oh yes, this is certainly very safe.

    Gingerly you place your foot on one of the now seventeen pedals present inside the vehicle, several of which you’ve found don’t actually depress at all. Half of the cylinders rev, the other half remain idle. How, you don’t know.

    Another pedal, another small push, and the other half chimes in.

    Two gas pedals. One engine. Seems legit.

    You idle the trukk up to a blue starting line, Karen waiting for you alongside it, holding a checkered flag.

    “Good luck!” She mouths with a grin.

    You give her a very hard stare, which only widens her smile.

    A wave of her flag, and you’re off!

    1d20 for driving skills

    >and here you thought the Ork thread would be safer than the cron one huehuehue
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:16 No.17920085
    rolled 2 = 2

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:16 No.17920088
    rolled 11 = 11

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:16 No.17920091
    i can see that
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:16 No.17920094
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:17 No.17920102
    rolled 10 = 10

    You are doing it wrong. Try to do it more like this.
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)20:17 No.17920105
    rolled 2 = 2

    For hue hue hue!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:17 No.17920112
    rolled 5 = 5


    'ERE WE GO
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:17 No.17920117
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:17 No.17920118
    rolled 19 = 19

    >Driving skills
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)20:17 No.17920123
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)20:18 No.17920131
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:18 No.17920132
    rolled 12 = 12

    2s aren't good enough. Our fishqueen only likes 1s
    >> King_Warwick 02/12/12(Sun)20:18 No.17920134
    That's what I get for helping you out, Papa? Ancient times on /b/ prospered me into a true 4channer.

    Also porn.

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:18 No.17920135
    rolled 10 = 10

    Rolling for SPEED
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:18 No.17920142
    rolled 6 = 6

    I see the dice gods were angered by the lack of rolling last thread.

    1's for the 1 god!!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:18 No.17920144
    rolled 11 = 11

    this is not going well
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:18 No.17920146
    rolled 19 = 19

    Looks like we REALLY aren't cut to drive
    >> dice + 1d20 Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:18 No.17920148
    we'll see what happens
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)20:19 No.17920151
    disregard this roll
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)20:19 No.17920154

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:19 No.17920159
    rolled 14 = 14


    >4 rolls that aren't shit
    >All me

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:19 No.17920164
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:19 No.17920166
    rolled 12 = 12

    For Gork, and Mork
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:20 No.17920172
    rolled 1 = 1

    Shut up i just rolled a 19
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:20 No.17920180
    rolled 1 = 1


    Based dicegods
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)20:20 No.17920183
    rolled 3 = 3

    time to show these orks whos boss
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:20 No.17920191
    rolled 3 = 3

    Rolling for double hue hue hue
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:20 No.17920192
    rolled 1 = 1

    inb4 nat1
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:21 No.17920194
    rolled 20 = 20

    We shall fish for Ra'almon and finally catch her using this choppa'.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:21 No.17920195
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:21 No.17920199
         File1329096067.jpg-(3 KB, 100x125, 1297699503843.jpg)
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    You HAD to push it.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:21 No.17920202
    rolled 16 = 16




    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)20:22 No.17920209

    ...And I thought we were boned before.

    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)20:22 No.17920210
    Its cool if you like it man, just not my thing. Though /hc/ sucks compared to what it used to be, /d/ is still the best porn board.


    Oh 1's, I'll always love you
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:22 No.17920213

    What the fuck just happened.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:22 No.17920215
    rolled 5 = 5


    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)20:22 No.17920220
         File1329096139.png-(236 KB, 495x468, 1328671657008.png)
    236 KB
    We are so fucked... mfw
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:22 No.17920233
    rolled 15 = 15

    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)20:22 No.17920234
    well were fucked now
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:23 No.17920239
    Ironic, three out of the preceding 5 rolls were ones.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:23 No.17920243
    rolled 14 = 14


    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:23 No.17920246
         File1329096214.jpg-(281 KB, 612x720, 1298935024111.jpg)
    281 KB

    So you wanted to drive well?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:23 No.17920247
    rolled 12 = 12

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:24 No.17920265
    rolled 12 = 12

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:24 No.17920268
    rolled 4 = 4

    >Roll three ones to meet Ra'almon
    >Roll 20 for fishing to resolve encounter

    Thank you dicegods
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:24 No.17920273
    rolled 13 = 13

    hue hue hue
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)20:25 No.17920282
    The engine explodes, losing its entire top half, a great start. Not that this effects the vehicle in any way, it seems, as it still keeps picking up speed somehow.

    Too much speed.

    Despite what they said about it not being fast, it turns out to be just as quick as your bike even. Already you’re approaching the first hard corner, a tough 90 degree. Well this is much more like how you were trained to drive as a Guardsman, despite being forcibly removed from that section of training after one hour and three near fatal crashes.

    All you have to do is find the brakes.

    You push on pedals one by one, searching for the one to slow down. After all seventeen pedals yield no such result, you try a few of the less intimidating looking buttons. Still nothing. Perhaps a switch…

    After a few terrifying moments, you come to a stark and grim realization.

    There are no brakes.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:25 No.17920287

    i cant wait to see how this turns out
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:26 No.17920308
    rolled 13 = 13

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:27 No.17920323

    ...with a horrible realization, you notice something scrawled hastily just above the pathetic excuse for a dashboard... a name, maybe? You peer closer...

    >Da Rape Trane

    You wince as you realise the vehicle's course is inexorably locked. You're headed straight for the coast....
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:28 No.17920325
    look at all the brakes that rape train dont got.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:29 No.17920341
    I roll the best twenties, always.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:31 No.17920375

    Oh god, what if Tonya finds out about Ra'alman and they join forces to keep Max FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:32 No.17920381
    So wait, are you taking the twenties or the ones?
    >> CDR Nonsense 02/12/12(Sun)20:32 No.17920390
         File1329096761.png-(199 KB, 321x306, greenlexluthor.png)
    199 KB

    This can't be good
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:34 No.17920402
    >pluralizing the twenties

    son, there was just one twenty, and that was to fish for Ra'almon using our choppa. It doesn't matter if he takes the twenties or the ones, cause either way we're dealing with the god of the seas.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:34 No.17920404
    rolled 12 = 12

    didn't we just see da squig toss something bigger and meaner around the track just fine? rolling for the vain hope of at least outracing the rape train.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)20:35 No.17920428
    The Soozuki goes flying past the turn, and with a bump you have left the trakk. Orks have to dive out of your way as the trukk crashes through the bleachers. Despite your panic, the onlookers seem to be having a good time of it.

    Though you’ve long since removed your feet from the pedals, the vehicle hasn’t slowed. A sinking feeling in your gut, and you confirm your worst suspicions. Both gas pedals are stuck to the floor, in full-on position.

    “Oh Emprah preserve me…” You groan, looking back through the windshield. At least you found out how to steer, somewhat. A small ball embedded in the dash that rolls freely. You can spin it to the left and the trukk slowly responds. Spin it to the right and it goes right. When you spin it forward, the trukk actually accelerates further, so you quickly stop that. When you try to roll the ball backwards, you are pretty sure the trukk is actually laughing at you.

    It bears a striking resemblance to a ancient piece of hardware from Terra you’d once had the pleasure of seeing, something called “Golden Tee”.

    Though this line of thinking is quickly erased from your mind and replaced with a primal fear when you realize your current heading. The coastline looms in front of you, and judging by your rate of speed, you will be there in mere minutes. As hard as you spin the ball, it has little effect. At your current pace, you simply can’t steer hard enough to avoid the shore.
    You can’t help but dismally chuckle a bit at this turn of events. Somehow you always end up heading back toward the water, and here on Yagis V, that rarely if ever ends well.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:38 No.17920455

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:38 No.17920458
    This has turned into chaos, pure chaos.

    Pure Chaos.

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:38 No.17920459
    were already fucked
    depress all the pedals and keep pushing that ball thing forward
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:38 No.17920471
         File1329097139.jpg-(121 KB, 394x500, 1323722175302.jpg)
    121 KB
    >WAAAAAAAGH Transmission

    All the gears are the same.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:39 No.17920472
    rolled 6 = 6

    Rolling to use our mind powers to accelerate fast enough to drive on water.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:39 No.17920475
    WHY is there no Ra'alman fanart yet? Really?

    >Seed-time onscadi

    Ahahahahaha, even Captcha's anticipating what's to come.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:40 No.17920483
    rolled 20 = 20

    Roll for fishing
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:41 No.17920502
         File1329097265.jpg-(71 KB, 418x455, meh.ro3402.jpg)
    71 KB

    Well... best to prepare our anus.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)20:41 No.17920503
    >>use mind powers
    >>accidently teleport to random dimension
    >>might end up in SW universe... or TS Universe
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:41 No.17920507
         File1329097276.jpg-(22 KB, 323x218, 26.jpg)
    22 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:41 No.17920514
         File1329097304.jpg-(13 KB, 300x288, 1318555678674.jpg)
    13 KB
    Fuck yeah, we are best fisherman.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:41 No.17920515
         File1329097307.png-(50 KB, 323x295, 1329014190036.png)
    50 KB
    rolled 9 = 9

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:41 No.17920519
    rolled 16 = 16

    Rolling to add Ra'alman to our growing harem
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:42 No.17920528
         File1329097354.jpg-(19 KB, 267x274, 1295122034134.jpg)
    19 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:43 No.17920534
    2 fishing based twenties, We are the Best Fisherman.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)20:45 No.17920563
    As if on cue, all prior suspicions confirmed, you spot an all too familiar swell in the water.

    Nearer and nearer, unable to stop the trukk, unable to turn or slow down. You just sit back and shake your head as the Soozuki bounces over the ground, its seven tires now reaching sand.

    A gaping maw of horrors erupts from the seas, and there’s nothing you can do about it now but watch.

    The trukk goes slamming into Ra’alman’s jaws, and she grips it hard. Sword-like teeth sink through the top and bottom, puncturing several of the tires as she lifts you into the sky. The engine whines horribly as its met without resistance and the tires spin freely.

    You resign yourself to a life of unseen and unspeakable horrors.

    Until the fish god pauses, and even over the groan of metal being depressed and the engine screaming, you thought you heard something.

    Out of the corner of your eye, you catch a flash of green. Than another, and another.

    With a furious howl, Ra’alman is forced to drop you and turn to face this new threat. Your engine dies upon impact, and you cover your exposed head and hat to try to minimize the damage. Thankfully, somehow, you have landed on all four working tires and three rims.

    Tonya stares you right in the eyes, gives you what she must think is a loving smile, and turns back to Ra’alman.

    “You can’t have him! He’s mine, ALL MINE!!” She screams up at the best, letting loose another shot from her staff. The Immortals surrounding her increase their rate of fire as well. The gauss seems to have some effect on the fish-god, who bodyslams the shore and wipes out a good third of the Necron army in retaliation.

    It’s a full-on crazy waifu fight, and you’ve got a first row seat in a dead Ork trukk.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:47 No.17920597
         File1329097628.gif-(486 KB, 256x192, 1327206072284.gif)
    486 KB

    Right, now we watch.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:47 No.17920598
    >suddenly necron hijack

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:48 No.17920615
         File1329097714.jpg-(50 KB, 401x500, 1323564187462.jpg)
    50 KB

    This oughta be good.

    >alsfue Pretended

    Yeah, it's all just pretending, we pretend to like fishvore, sure. Sure?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:49 No.17920627
         File1329097770.jpg-(94 KB, 466x322, 1270706269172.jpg)
    94 KB
    Alright, time to get out of there.

    [x]Press the skull button
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)20:49 No.17920630
    Now is a good time to run the fuck away... or teleport with our warp powers
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:49 No.17920636
    rolled 13 = 13

    the fish is here, time to catch it
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:49 No.17920638
         File1329097795.jpg-(58 KB, 720x821, 1329016757878.jpg)
    58 KB

    I think Tonya has some real potential. Maybe there is some way to reason with her or fix her major malfunction in a way that doesn't result in us dying or lobotomizing her.

    Then again, Eight died in the fucking dirt like a bitch, so maybe not.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)20:50 No.17920646
    “Wait wait! Stop!” Tonya screams as the battle is getting out of hand.

    At her command, the fighting ceases.

    “What if… We share him?” She asks questioningly to the fish god. It hangs in the air, about to crunch down on a dozen Necron warriors as it ponders her proposition.

    Both of them turn, slowly, to stare right at you.

    [ ] Push buttons

    [ ] Try to kick open door, hoof it for own life

    [ ] Shove feet through floor, flintstone it
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)20:50 No.17920648
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:52 No.17920665
    >[X] Push buttons
    Work, damn you! WORK!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:52 No.17920666
    rolled 16 = 16

    the fuck kinda question is that?
    of course were hitting that button
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:52 No.17920668
    [x] submit against ilias' will
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:52 No.17920670

    >[X] Accept the gracious offer and live happily ever after with the two best waifus
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:52 No.17920671
    rolled 12 = 12

    [x] Push buttons
    First the buttons, all of them.
    [x] Try to kick open door, hoof it for own life
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:52 No.17920674
    rolled 10 = 10


    >[x] Shove feet through floor, flintstone it

    This idea is just so awesome I'm rolling for it anyway.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:52 No.17920680
    Flintstone it!

    We don't get out of the choppa' till we cross the finish line!
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)20:52 No.17920684
    [x] skull button
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:54 No.17920700


    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:54 No.17920702
    [x] skull button

    Gotta do something, right?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)20:54 No.17920704
    [ ] Shove feet through floor, flintstone it
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:54 No.17920705
    [x] Push buttons

    all of them
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:55 No.17920714
    rolled 5 = 5

    Tell them that you're cool with the sharing thing, and you have some other girlfriends for them to meet.

    >paradise onlages
    Captcha agrees with this
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:55 No.17920716

    >[X] But Tonya, I only want you!
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)20:55 No.17920729
    at least we didnt crash this time
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:56 No.17920743
    rolled 18 = 18

    not if i can help it
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:57 No.17920753
    rolled 66 = 66

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:57 No.17920755
    not yet, anyways.

    [ ] flinstone it.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:59 No.17920773

    [x] Eat bear leaves, catch salmon.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)20:59 No.17920777
    [x] Flintstone it
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)21:00 No.17920795
    The outlook abysmal, you start hitting every button, every switch, every dial inside this damnable Ork hunk of squig fodder.

    The last button you hit? Why, the one with the skull on it, of course.

    Which apparently has some kind of effect when the vehicle is off, as there is a very off-putting shake, a grumble and a clang.

    You look back, and see the rokkit rising up in the back, it’s exhaust sticking out where the rear window used to be. For a second you wonder if perhaps the removable window was actually a design feature, but you don’t get many seconds to think. The rokkit engine ignites and…

    Sputters out!

    “Fuck my life!” You kick through the thin floor with both of your power legs, and feel your feet meet ground. In a last ditch effort, you make a run for it.

    The power armor helps a lot in this regard, but even with it on, you find using your legs to power a heavy hunk of mostly cast iron and scrapped steel to be tiring work. Not only that, but even the Necrons are starting to gain on you! Must be those three shredded tires dragging you down.

    A gauss round slams into the rear of the trukk.

    “Stop shooting you fools! I want him alive so I can make him un-alive later!” Tonya berates the one who took the shot.
    This only triggers you to run faster, and you find yourself hoping beyond hope that somehow the red paint will help you. Though your legs ache already, you somehow manage to push the vehicle faster, enough to stay out of the grasp of the Necrons at least.

    “I don’t want to be robotic fish fertilizer!” You rant, slamming a fist on the dash in anger.

    Wings made out of corrugated aluminum pop out of the side of the trukk.

    The rokkit in the back re-ignites.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)21:02 No.17920815
    1d20 for flying skills

    >you thought you were safe from the vore already, didn't you?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:02 No.17920818
         File1329098550.jpg-(208 KB, 729x800, 1327801744127.jpg)
    208 KB

    >[x] Shove feet through floor, flintstone it

    I totally want to see max take these two and live
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:02 No.17920823
    rolled 13 = 13


    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:03 No.17920827
    rolled 1 = 1

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:03 No.17920829
    rolled 14 = 14

    Catch that fish!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:03 No.17920830
    rolled 2 = 2

    we know we're never safe
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:03 No.17920832
    rolled 18 = 18

    Once again,
    >Flying skills
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:03 No.17920834
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)21:03 No.17920838
    rolled 11 = 11

    Jesus christ we better get out of this alive and unvored
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:03 No.17920840
    If I knew what Ra'alman looked like I could draw it I guess.
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)21:03 No.17920842
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:04 No.17920848
    rolled 9 = 9

    to hell with the dice gods
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:04 No.17920852
    rolled 9 = 9

    Dicegods on a roll today
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:04 No.17920855
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:04 No.17920857
         File1329098674.jpg-(524 KB, 1000x1000, Daemonette(color).jpg)
    524 KB

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:04 No.17920862
         File1329098679.jpg-(53 KB, 720x540, shitshitshit.jpg)
    53 KB
    rolled 1 = 1

    i always wanted to be a pilot
    >> Platyspy 02/12/12(Sun)21:04 No.17920864
    Jus draw a fish critter
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:04 No.17920867
         File1329098696.jpg-(48 KB, 500x500, 1322973232662.jpg)
    48 KB

    Over the rainbow, so high!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:04 No.17920869
    rolled 12 = 12

    Dammit! Fly, you fool!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:05 No.17920872
         File1329098707.jpg-(17 KB, 132x240, 1320511629346.jpg)
    17 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:05 No.17920874
    rolled 3 = 3

    You aren't cut for the job son
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:05 No.17920881
    rolled 8 = 8

    if we believe hard enough, we'll make it, and get a couple of lucky rolls, too
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:05 No.17920882
         File1329098737.jpg-(254 KB, 800x800, 1289700910753.jpg)
    254 KB

    its a great day to be a /d/eviant
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:05 No.17920888
    rolled 19 = 19


    ... and there I forgot to roll. Not that it'd matter anymore.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:05 No.17920890
    rolled 18 = 18


    Aww fuck...
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)21:06 No.17920895
    I drew a terrible rendition as the OP pic in one of the previous threads. Just imagine the most terrible sea serpent, add armored plating and long teeth, and tentacles, and you have it.

    Also I've got to grab some food, badly. On my winter bulk (damn you /fit/) and I'm shaking from having not eaten all day. But in return, I cleared up my schedule and can go as late as people want tonight upon my return.

    GF is driving me so I'll try to write from my droid while I eat, though.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:06 No.17920896
    rolled 15 = 15

    Rolling for aerobatics
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:06 No.17920897
    rolled 19 = 19

    we are
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:06 No.17920898
    rolled 19 = 19


    Today is just not Max's day.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:06 No.17920899
    Hey i thought i told you about this here noko.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:07 No.17920911
         File1329098826.jpg-(44 KB, 544x400, 1307433715548.jpg)
    44 KB
    rolled 3 = 3


    This is what you're doing. Pic related.

    let me show you how it's done.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:07 No.17920916
         File1329098840.jpg-(42 KB, 300x240, Draining_Whelk.jpg)
    42 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:07 No.17920918
    rolled 15 = 15

    Good thing we didn't have to roll anything for Eight today or he would have been raped to death by an Eversor rather than just bleeding out.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:08 No.17920936

    Do you even know what a noko roll is or what they do? Those rolls are legit, bro.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:08 No.17920942
         File1329098911.png-(1.52 MB, 1920x848, 1298053848024.png)
    1.52 MB

    Make this Ral Canon?
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)21:08 No.17920949

    Careful what you promise Papa, it's only 6 PM, and I don't have work tomorrow.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:09 No.17920958
    Eight can chill with the chaos gods and the big E, maybe even get a reincarnation like we did.
    It's not so bad for him, really.
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)21:09 No.17920961
         File1329098967.jpg-(118 KB, 595x318, ch2p4.jpg)
    118 KB
    rolled 11 = 11

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:09 No.17920965
         File1329098986.jpg-(37 KB, 594x412, 1326328730956.jpg)
    37 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:09 No.17920966
         File1329098986.jpg-(88 KB, 778x609, trollin.jpg)
    88 KB
    rolled 5 = 5

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:09 No.17920970
    rolled 11 = 11

    i'm gonna need a sauce for that
    >> Platyspy 02/12/12(Sun)21:10 No.17920977
    How did I know that someone was going to pst that?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)21:12 No.17921010
         File1329099122.jpg-(177 KB, 500x493, 1328558316365.jpg)
    177 KB
    rolled 12 = 12

    What is this? I don't even...
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:12 No.17921011
    rolled 13 = 13

    Rolling for MIND POWERS to help us
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:12 No.17921022
    rolled 16 = 16

    KS reaction images get me every fucking time.
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)21:13 No.17921030
         File1329099193.jpg-(25 KB, 640x352, motherofgod.jpg)
    25 KB

    Expecting to see giant demon-fish porn. Oh /tg/, never change.

    >MFW I realize I expected it too
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:15 No.17921073
         File1329099337.jpg-(1.24 MB, 997x1200, 19414205.jpg)
    1.24 MB
    i'll see and raise that
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)21:15 No.17921076
         File1329099348.png-(300 KB, 500x375, 0d3.png)
    300 KB
    trust me, i got a bunch of em
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:16 No.17921082
         File1329099377.jpg-(52 KB, 324x291, 1326329162962.jpg)
    52 KB
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)21:16 No.17921094
    rolled 2 = 2

    its not like Ra'alman can grow wings
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:17 No.17921103
         File1329099449.jpg-(160 KB, 616x1100, 1278046918252.jpg)
    160 KB

    Cause im a nice /d/eviant.

    The artist is mikoyan, type that name into an image search DB like gelbooru to find more.

    And if you like it, you should join us over on /d/ sometime. . .
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)21:17 No.17921105
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:17 No.17921106
         File1329099470.png-(1.99 MB, 1453x1200, 14406086.png)
    1.99 MB
    rolled 12 = 12

    OH, so close.

    and what you all fail to realize is there is always a bigger fish
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:17 No.17921107
         File1329099475.jpg-(57 KB, 400x296, 1326597528329.jpg)
    57 KB

    Oh, you fucking had to, didn't you.
    >> Platyspy 02/12/12(Sun)21:18 No.17921114
    rolled 7 = 7

    A fellow /d/eviant I see?
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)21:18 No.17921122
    please lets not let this derail into a fish monster porn thread thing
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:19 No.17921124

    Don't you know? All fa/tg/uys are /d/eviants, and vice versa.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)21:20 No.17921139
    all. night. long.

    You can do little more than hang on as the rokkit ignites and you can feel the thrust already. Despite this, you have no idea if this thing will really fly.

    But you are about to find out.

    "Go you fucking pile of bolts! Go!"

    The craft achieves lift-off!

    ...Only to almost immediately spin 180 and head right back the fish jaws of love.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:20 No.17921140
         File1329099615.jpg-(24 KB, 410x364, 1248382840048.jpg)
    24 KB

    You must be new here.
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)21:20 No.17921145
    i couldnt resist at least she couldn't go far from the water unless she has regular lungs too
    >> Platyspy 02/12/12(Sun)21:20 No.17921148
    rolled 16 = 16

    It is too late for that now, the fishporn shall flow uninhibited
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:22 No.17921168
    Lesson learned: if I want to draw Ra'Alman, I gotta put tits and a dick on a fish.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:22 No.17921173
    she could be amphibious

    or have reverse lungs like coconut crabs have
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)21:22 No.17921178

    Glorious Papa. We'll have to take a pause at some point so I can show you the Galactic Partridges data file i've been working on, I'd like to get your opinion on a few things.

    >Fish tunnel of love

    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)21:22 No.17921179
         File1329099769.jpg-(38 KB, 445x402, 1325547220054.jpg)
    38 KB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:23 No.17921184
    rolled 11 = 11

    we are best fisherman
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)21:26 No.17921249
         File1329099990.jpg-(99 KB, 750x600, satan-guide-my-cock.jpg)
    99 KB
    well... should we at least shout out "SLAANESH GUIDE MY COCK!"???
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:26 No.17921253
    rolled 10 = 10

    Let's introduce Ra'alman and Tonya to the other girls.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:27 No.17921264
    Ok ok so in all seriousness, just a sea serpent with really long teeth and tentacles?

    I can draw that.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)21:29 No.17921297
    I'm feeling generous, if you can come up with a good enough plan you can avoid the fish vore

    >until I'm drunk later tonight
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:29 No.17921318
    Okay just finished reading this thread. Either way this shit goes it's gonna be rape time.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)21:30 No.17921335

    yeah, glowing red eyes and tentacles that can shoot out of the mouth
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:30 No.17921340
    rolled 8 = 8

    catch the fish
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:31 No.17921344
    rolled 4 = 4

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:32 No.17921370
    Okay so if we just punch the rocket to change directions then we could try to control the direction away from infinirape. If punching it doesn't work I'm sure we could twist it.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:33 No.17921381
    rolled 2 = 2

    hopefully one of our rokkits flies off and just happens to kill or incapacitate the fish causing it to fall on the necron party...
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:33 No.17921399
    rolled 18 = 18

    Yell to Tonya that she is the only woman for us.
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)21:33 No.17921401
    punch her in da mof knock out all her teefes
    and if that fails bear leaves
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)21:34 No.17921410

    Plan? Challenge accepted. Our arm has a plasma cannon build in yes? It should be powered by plasma fuel cells then. Eject the fuel cells and jury rig them to the soozuki. Aim the Soozuki at Fishface.

    Then bail off the side towards the water, and use our flamer to slow our descent. It won't do that much, but combined with out power armor servos, we should land with minimum damage. Once we've landed, use our laspistol finger to set off the fuel cells if the Soozuki hasn't already exploded in FishVore's face.

    How's that for a plan?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:34 No.17921416
    rolled 3 = 3

    >Implying I want to avoid it.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:34 No.17921419
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:34 No.17921429
    rolled 6 = 6

    we have multiple rokkits have another fail by chance...
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)21:36 No.17921462
    call in an elite commando or something?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:36 No.17921471
    rolled 2 = 2

    i like it
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:40 No.17921552
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    >implying we want to avoid it
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:42 No.17921584
    suddenly ork waif fu?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:44 No.17921625
    rolled 17 = 17

    rig it so we explode on impact
    break the fuel tank (if there is one) get one of those plasma cells to overheat
    if we are going down we are taking that thing with us
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:50 No.17921729
    submit to the vore, we've only got a few threads left to get that goddess handjob.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:52 No.17921753
    I want to play a 40k RP with PaPa-N as the GM

    >>Alternatively: DO SUM COCCAINE!
    >>Use the Odahving Dragon Shout
    >> Fallen Knight of /tg/ 02/12/12(Sun)21:57 No.17921812
    I am for this plan
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)21:58 No.17921832
    and then how do we deal with yanderecron?
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)21:59 No.17921849
    The current heading of the trukk is bad. Very bad. Those jaws, those teeth... You've no desire to be back there again. Still, this craft of sheet metal and pure waaaghpower doesn't respond to desires, at least not yours.

    "Tonya!" You call down to the pariah as you go zipping past overhead.

    "I don't want to be shared, I've eyes only for you!"

    The Necron's face brightens at your words, and with a grim determination she turns back to Ra'alman.

    "Let fly the gauss!" At her order, the Necron warriors and Immortals renew their assault. A fresh torrent of gauss fire drives the fish back. Slowly, ever slowly, you realize you are going to clear the maw.

    You go sailing over the head of the great sea beast, avoiding a terrible fate.

    >HLQ has officially jumped the shark

    Frantically you spin the ball, which is more responsive in the air. The craft turns back toward the Ork camp.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:03 No.17921916
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    The next(and last) thread better be awesome

    >>We should come back later and see if we can fashion armor/weapons from Ra's corpse
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)22:04 No.17921926
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    we survived thank the emperor
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)22:05 No.17921941
    On a plume of smoke, fire, and hatred you ride. The craft bucking and jolting as the rokkit coughs a death yet again. As often as Ork tech seems to work, so often it fails, it seems.

    The trukk jukes up once, before nosing down. You are going to come in, hard.

    "Git outta da waaayyyy!!!" The Warboss shouts as he sees your careening craft.

    Orks scramble for cover, diving under the bleachers, hold trukk doors in front of their faces as shields.

    The trukk slams down roughly, bounces once, and then flips on it's side where it skids to a halt in a furious flurry of grinding metal and showering sparks.

    "Aaannd across da loine!"
    >> Fallen Knight of /tg/ 02/12/12(Sun)22:05 No.17921942
    And so we escaped Ra'alman's clutches...for now, come to think of it, i hope the orks were watching that.
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)22:06 No.17921956
    r u implying that they all aren't
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:07 No.17921970
    Of course not

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:07 No.17921976
    rolled 1 = 1

    walk it off like it wasnt even a thing
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:08 No.17921994
    rolled 1 = 1


    If only she wasn't so dangerous she'd be the best waifu.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:09 No.17922024

    >No call for a roll
    >> Fallen Knight of /tg/ 02/12/12(Sun)22:11 No.17922045
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    Uh oh...
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:11 No.17922058
    rolled 10 = 10

    How'd we do in the race?
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)22:12 No.17922062
    You sit for more than a long moment, still strapped in to the trukk, lying on your side. You aren't sure how you survived that, but you are pretty sure that is the last time you want to give driving anything Orkier than the bike a try.

    "Oi humie!? You alroight in dere?" Hammond stoops down to peer at you through the windshield, which is full of spiderweb cracks.

    "I'm not sure, honestly."

    "Whateva, I gots sum good news fah ya."

    "I'm not the worst time on the chart?"

    "Wut? Nah yous a roight git driva you iz, but dese boys ova 'ere wantcha in dere own show!"

    He gestures to a film crew behind him.

    "We'z filmin when big gits attack, we wantcha ta do alla dat... Again."
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)22:14 No.17922084
    [ ] Nah, thanks

    [ ] NOPE

    [ ] Yeah OK
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:14 No.17922093
    [ ] Nah, thanks
    Play it cool
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:14 No.17922097
    [x] Nah, thanks

    Need to get to dat ork lovin'
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:15 No.17922099
    rolled 2 = 2

    Let's tell Ra'alman to slow down a bit, no vore on the first date.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:15 No.17922102
    >[ ] Yeah OK
    as if there were any other option
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:15 No.17922109
    [X] Yeah OK
    Next big git? Failbaddon!
    >> Leeginn 02/12/12(Sun)22:15 No.17922112
    [ x] NOPE

    lets move the story along pls.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:15 No.17922115
    [x] yeah ok
    we must continue to fish
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:16 No.17922120
    rolled 15 = 15

    .[X] Yeah ok.

    Time for round two.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)22:17 No.17922145
    [ ] Nah, thanks
    not risking another confrontation with tonya again, or that fish bitch... besides, we still gotta rok out wit Big Dakka!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:17 No.17922146
    Yeah ok

    Gotta make sure Tonya is alright after all.
    >> Fallen Knight of /tg/ 02/12/12(Sun)22:17 No.17922155
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    >[X] Yeah OK
    The question is, how crazy are we?
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)22:18 No.17922163

    NOPE. We might be the best fishermen, but that's enough Fishface for now. We still have to get in touch with our Orky side. Also, we still have yet to make it with Tsunseer and if we end up not, I WILL BE UNAMUSED.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:18 No.17922166
    ill get the power harpoon...
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:19 No.17922181
    [X] Yeah OK
    Worst case scenario we get hot /d/ porn, what could go wrong.
    >> Perverted and Pessimistic White Knight 02/12/12(Sun)22:19 No.17922187
    [ ] Yeah OK
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:19 No.17922193
    Yeah OK
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)22:21 No.17922225
         File1329103300.jpg-(23 KB, 510x477, fuck-you-meme-generator-nope-f(...).jpg)
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    [x] NOPE
    >> Perverted and Pessimistic White Knight 02/12/12(Sun)22:21 No.17922227
    Then enact Suzooki choppa plasma rokkit plan, and then we bring Tonya to Karen.... To be get ORKIFIED!
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:22 No.17922239
    We did that in the hot springs ages ago.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:23 No.17922256
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)22:23 No.17922261
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:24 No.17922268
    Didn't Max exterminatus her at the hot springs?
    >> Perverted and Pessimistic White Knight 02/12/12(Sun)22:27 No.17922308
    > to be get ORKIFIED
    . . . Fuck. I need mah sleep. But I am at office! Waiting for PROMOTIONS!

    Regarding orkifying Tonya, I mean reprogram her the Ork way: bash her with a wrench till we get a user-friends' friendly setting.

    Or till it explodes.
    Or sprouts more DAKKA.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)22:27 No.17922310
    "So let me get this straight... You want me to climb back into a sheet metal ship that seems to work by not making sense, drive it back out there, and swiftly avoid being eaten? For a second time?"

    "Yah." The Ork grunts.

    "Yeah, OK."

    "Wut? Really 'umie?"

    "Sure, whatever..."

    You drop out of the harness with a click of the release. Standing up, you brush yourself off of rubble and pieces of metal.

    "Gimme another trukk or something, I'll give it another go." You shrug.

    The film krew glance around to each other. Clearly, they hadn't actually expected you to go along with it.

    "How about a rain check, I think he probably needs a break..." Karen cuts in, waving the crew off.

    "What? Why?" You protest, wanting to head back out for another round.

    "Because he back of your head is bleeding." Karen tells you.

    "And your hat is gone."
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:29 No.17922336
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    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:29 No.17922350


    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:30 No.17922356
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    >>ROUND 2 time
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:30 No.17922357
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:30 No.17922359

    >> Platyspy 02/12/12(Sun)22:30 No.17922363
    rolled 9 = 9

    >"And your hat is gone."
    >> Cidolfas Orlandu, aka Thunder God Cid !gYjELVKQn6 02/12/12(Sun)22:30 No.17922367
    We. Find. That. Hat.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:30 No.17922374
    >hat is gone
    >either tonya or ra' have hat-chan
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)22:31 No.17922379

    >Hat-chan is missing
    >Take a rain check

    Bitch are you out of your damn mind? THEY HAVE HAT-CHAN, WE MUST SAVE HIM!
    >> Perverted and Pessimistic White Knight 02/12/12(Sun)22:31 No.17922382
    . . . Hat-Chan?

    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)22:32 No.17922391
         File1329103926.gif-(1.34 MB, 640x480, 3fe.gif)
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    Hat chan...gone, oh hell no
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:32 No.17922398
    >Eight dies
    No reaction
    >Hat missing

    I don't understand you /tg/
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)22:32 No.17922399
    Who has your hat?

    Is it the psychotic robot who wants you all to herself?

    Or the powerful and omnipresent fish god of Yagis V?

    Find out when we continue in earnest when HLQ goes into OVERTIME.

    >I need to eat my dinner
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:33 No.17922410
    >> Fallen Knight of /tg/ 02/12/12(Sun)22:33 No.17922417
         File1329104014.png-(537 KB, 601x466, hammer.png)
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    Bitches, it's now on like donkey kong
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:34 No.17922426
    because eight isn't really dead. he has contractual plot immunity.

    plus we don't 'know' eight is dead so we can't react to it. LEARN 2 IN CHARACTER NUB
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:34 No.17922436

    Were in denial.

    Wait until Max learn of it for the feels to start
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:36 No.17922468
    papa-n already stated the next story with 8 has to do with his past, and origins. 8 is dead, bro.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)22:36 No.17922470
    >because eight isn't really dead

    Oh... oh dear
    >> Colonel Guardspam !ZtIxy9nLcA 02/12/12(Sun)22:36 No.17922473
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    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:44 No.17922588
    it's fine, max is cool with the emprah and daemons, he can get eight res'd.
    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)22:45 No.17922614
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    >> Rubbish Soldier 02/12/12(Sun)22:48 No.17922654
    can some one keep us posted when Overtime starts? Im kinda stuck playing an overrated fps of a video game with a friend of mine
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:50 No.17922670
    rolled 19 = 19

    This, and if that won't work, he can chill with our daemonette waifus, the chaos four, and the big E.

    Rollan to look for hat in the car.
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)22:51 No.17922708
    While we're waiting.. Has anyone noticed that Eshwe's last name is ULTHRAN? As in ELDRAD ULTHRAN. How is it we've had shenanigans with Vect, but we've not seen the douchemaster general Eldrad himself? Plot hoooook
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:55 No.17922779
    isn't his doucheness dead?
    >> Leeginn 02/12/12(Sun)22:56 No.17922798
    so Eldrad now has 3 daughters?
    if only the Emporasque would save him
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:57 No.17922801

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:57 No.17922810
    Can love be found within all this Heresy ?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)22:57 No.17922818
    or a brother with kids. or a cousin.
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)23:06 No.17922973

    Technically yes, his soul was consumed by a Blackstone Fortress, however his various spirit stones (He had more than one, being a bad ass) are still active, leading some to believe he's alive. Also on that note, Eldrad is alive in Love Can Bloom, so I don't see why he can't be alive here. Further, Eldrad's soul was consumed by a Slaaneshi daemon, and Slaanesh is supposedly a bro now, so it could let Eldrad's soul go.

    Actually.. Eldrad in a Wraithlord/Wraithseer body? WHAT HAS SCIENCE DONE!


    Ayup. And a son-in-law and a granddaughter if Love Can Bloom is to be believed.

    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)23:29 No.17923342
    I was pretty surprised no one caught Eshe being Eldrad's daughter earlier to be honest. An interesting hook indeed perhaps.

    Overtime mode engage?
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)23:31 No.17923368
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)23:32 No.17923383
    rolled 10 = 10

    [X] Yes.
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)23:33 No.17923396
    the commissar needs his hat
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)23:36 No.17923425
    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)23:36 No.17923431
    we must reclaim out hat, again
    >> Sanguinius !oDZ3/a4B/. 02/12/12(Sun)23:37 No.17923443

    Of course Papa. And yes, I was as well, but I never was around for these threads until now, and thus never had the opportunity to bring it up. Also, when overtime is finished, i'm starting a Galactic Partridges thread. Post my stuff, see if we can't get the rest of /tg/ to flesh these guys out more. And we have yet to make it with Eshwe, and we best be doing so before this quest is over.
    >> Papa-N !!z0ABcqUnNAP 02/12/12(Sun)23:38 No.17923457
    but we did make it with Eshwe...

    >> Anonymous 02/12/12(Sun)23:39 No.17923461
    Man we totally made it with her.

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