!!0ZviLFh59My 02/01/12(Wed)22:49 No.17769309|
File1328154541.jpg-(60 KB, 313x279, rape_is_imminent.jpg)
Ian smirks inside his helmet - you don't see it, but you know he's doing it. Upon your admission of defeat, he graciously takes the lead. "Well, uh, Perrine is stalking me."
You take a second to process that. "No shit?"
You tell him what happened to you, and he raises the visor of the helmet to stare at you. "So let me get this straight. You're almost pseudo-raped by three women, manage to cannonball-kid your way out of it, get punched in the mouth by Gertrude because she thinks we dun goofed, then you get locked in a broom closet with a redhead with a pert mouth and legs that go all the way up, and then you bodyslam your way out of there and flee for your life."
"Mac," Ian says seriously, "you are gay."
You snort. "Look who's fucking talking. I didn't don a suit of goddamn armor to keep the filthy women's hands off me."
"She choked you, man!" Ian exclaims. "Like, once I can understand, who doesn't want to choke a prick like you, but all that shit on-base at Eastchurch and I got to thinking, you know, she eats her mates or only fucks what she kills or perhaps she sucks your soul out WHILE fucking you, like a succubus or something."
You sigh and cross your arms. "Jesus, you wuss, she's not that bad. What's got you so paranoid?"
"That's exactly what they said before Martian landing capsules hit our outer atmosphere, remember?"
Well, shit, he's got a point there.