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  • File : 1327895161.jpg-(223 KB, 640x966, 11.jpg)
    223 KB Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:46 No.17729084  
    Okay, guys, listen. I know we have this whole political correctness thing, and I appreciate it. I really do. I understand that what was appropriate six hundred years ago isn't appropriate today, that's why we all call them "dwarves" today and not "beardos" like we used to.

    But we've got to deal with the humans. It's just reached a point where their reproduction rate is too high and they'll overtake us by numbers alone. I'm not saying we need to commit genocide or anything, but they live by cutting down trees and building stuff. That's an obvious problem for us, I'm not going to bother explaining why.

    I really want to emphasize that I'm *not* advocating that we kill them all. This isn't like when we killed all the Bronze Men and they asked why and were just like "lol I dunno," this is for a defined, logical reason. Even though the Battle of Bronze was fun as hell, let's just all admit it.

    That said, what's the best way to go about culling their numbers down to, let's say, the dwarves?
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:47 No.17729108
    >That said, what's the best way to go about culling their numbers down to, let's say, the dwarves?

    Cut them all in half.

    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:48 No.17729123
    Hey, now. We can't go culling human numbers. My WIFE'S human, you racist fuck.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:49 No.17729136
    The days of your race are over, Elf. We humans are adaptive, determined, territorial, and most of all, as you mentioned, we are quite promiscuous. Face it, we are the dominant race now and we are not to be trifled with.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:50 No.17729155
    Great, another tree-dweller acting a stereotype and making the rest of us elves look bad. I wasn't aware you can get wi-fi in a treehouse these days, hypocrite.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:51 No.17729174
    please just kill/castrate all the stupid humans, they breed like sprites on ambrosia that just got out of carceri. the not fucktarded among them can stay
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:52 No.17729184
    Clearly the solution is for US to fuck like rabbits.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:55 No.17729213
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    Hey now, the humans are alright. Don't go screwing with them, elf.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:56 No.17729237
    I've been thinking about this for a while now, and I think I have come up with a solution.

    We don't need to kill them, we outlive them by a factor of 8 or 9, easy.

    Do you realize how many human women an elven male can impregnate in that time? We need to stop thinking of mixed-breed elf/humans as "half-elves" and think of them as "half-human".

    Elves are more attractive than humans, even by their standards.

    We could literally eradicate the humans as a race in 1500 years, simply by breeding them out.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:56 No.17729243
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    it's OK! We can all just get along, like good little Kender (the bestest race in all of dnd!)
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:58 No.17729265
    even a drunk dragon pumped full of blue magic that hadn't gotten laid in 250 years wouldn't fuck a kender
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:59 No.17729279
    So, uh, guys, I found our genocide target.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:59 No.17729282
    I fully support your fucking like rabbits proposal. I am intrigued by your opinions and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)22:59 No.17729283
    but - but everyone loves Kender! It says so right in their description, which is, like them, lovable in every respect.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:00 No.17729300

    It doesn't work. There simply aren't enough elves compared to humans.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:00 No.17729304
    Remember, not only do Kender have no sense of ownership, they have no since of commitment either.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:01 No.17729310
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    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:01 No.17729313
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    Hey man, not all humans are like that, man, cutting down trees and all, man!

    Remember that time we humans chained ourselves to the trees man? And after that we smoked a bowl, man?
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:02 No.17729331
    But should we care? Why not just take advantage of our, ahem, racial superiorities, and continue on without them? We continue to ostracize the damnable crossbreeders and limit contact with the other 'races.'
    >> Platyspy 01/29/12(Sun)23:04 No.17729359
    I'm a platypus and I approve of this message
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:06 No.17729391

    Becuase they'll keep coming. They'll keep chopping down or two trees each to make benches or whatever, and pretty soon, in twelve hundred years or something, BAM. We, elves, will be dressed in linen and walking around cobblestoned streets.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:09 No.17729452
    Um, elves already do that. Not all of us are content to live in mud hovel and eat berries.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:11 No.17729487
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    ...what part of 'humanity' don't you elves don't understand? Eventually, we'll catch on to anything you try.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:13 No.17729520

    But there won't be a CHOICE, and we proper elves will have to live you city elves no matter what we want.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:13 No.17729522
    I dunno, humans seem to be keeping far more destructive and faster-breeding species in check. What will you do when the goblins have guns? It always ends in genocide, even with the best intentions.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:19 No.17729604
    As an orc, I think the Elves should definitely pick a fight with the humans.
    Go humans!
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:20 No.17729623
    This. So fucking this. Every Elf who's too busy with their head shoved in the damn branches of their treehouse is one that needs to get with the fucking program and understand that the future is now, and we need to adapt as the humans have. The old ways are dead.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:24 No.17729676
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    All right, laddies, listen. I know we have this whole political correctness thing, and I appreciate it. I really do. I understand that what was appropriate six hundred years ago isn't appropriate today, that's why we all call them "elves" today and not "tree-fuckers" like we used to.

    But we've got to deal with the humans. It's just reached a point where their reproduction rate is too high and they'll overtake us by numbers alone. I'm not saying we need to commit genocide or anything, but they live by mining into our halls and building stuff – stuff that takes up space for all our mine tailings. That's an obvious problem for us, I'm not going to bother explaining why.

    I really want to emphasize that I'm *not* advocating that we kill them all. This isn't like when we killed all the goblins and they asked why and were just like "we were blind drunk on mead," this is for a defined, logical reason. Even though the Battle of the Beards was fun as hell, let's just all admit it.

    That said, what's the best way to go about culling their numbers down to, let's say, the elves?
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:25 No.17729701
    human here

    we'd be perfectly fine with letting you join in on the fun sex, if you weren't all haughty arrogant bitches
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:25 No.17729702
    Ahhahaha fuck your trees and your women, literally on the women part but I digress. We're like herpes you can never truly get rid of us
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:29 No.17729744
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    ...I have the solution. Let's make stuff that's cursed as FUCK, and give it to them! Like, say, a suit of armor that makes you go on a rampage of abject destruction!
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:29 No.17729753

    Yeah send those elf and dwarf girls this way bro. We gonna go all political correct over their tight asses
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:36 No.17729858
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    Greetings, long-ears. Honor and strength to you.

    Perhaps this one errs by asking, but where lies the difficulty in simply letting the fangless kill themselves? Even by the standards of the People of the Fang, they are a warlike people, although lacking in greenskin hardiness. Without a common enemy they will surely turn on themselves and kill each other, like a clan without a strong war chief.
    >> Moap !IApL6P4C4k 01/29/12(Sun)23:42 No.17729980
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    >Can't figure out technology past a bow and arrow.
    >Barely understand metal casting
    >Refuse to learn to new technology.
    >Physically frail
    >Breed slower than Panda's

    For gods sake, can we get a race worth dealing with? Ugh, Im gonna go armwrestle with a goblin, at least they don't try to justify their being superior to me after I beat them
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:50 No.17730119
    Have the druids engineer plagues and wait them out. We will be the source of the cancer that manifests in humans, the subtle killer that lasts through generations. We elves can be very, VERY patient.
    >> Anonymous 01/29/12(Sun)23:53 No.17730173
    A platinum coin with the inscribed words "pick me up"
    It's magical, when it's picked up the holder is afflicted with Disintegrate.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:09 No.17730396

    Please, you humans don't even understand how to make wood as hard as steel.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:11 No.17730444

    >implying a need to make wood as hard as steel when we just have steel
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:13 No.17730474
    >Easy to gather
    >Everywhere in Elven lands
    >just as good as metal

    This is why we don't share our secrets with you. You don't see the big picture.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:14 No.17730488
    to be fair wood can just be grown
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:16 No.17730506
    Have you humans ever thought about why we cherish the trees so? That;s because we elves, spirits of the forest, are the trees. They are our sleeping dead. a torpor if you will. They live but do not walk, but be sure one day they will all awaken,
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:16 No.17730510
    >Implying that my wood isn't harder than steel.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:16 No.17730514

    ...but it's NOT just as good as metal. In fact, it's much harder to produce than a suit of plate and requires magic before it can work. Not only does it need to be crafted, but it needs to be enchanted to hold its own compared to a basic suit of armor made out of metal. I also cant be forged into chain, and if used as a weapon carries no innate magical properties of it's own, whereas iron and silver both have detrimental effects to supernatural beings.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:18 No.17730547

    >harder to produce
    >literally whittle a chunk of wood into desired shape and enchant
    >harder that melting down ore, cooling, heating, smashing, cooling, heating, hammering, etc.

    You silly humans.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:20 No.17730567
    "We're gonna need reinforcements"
    >> Moap !IApL6P4C4k 01/30/12(Mon)00:21 No.17730601
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    >Ok guys Ill just go chop down this tree to make the wood as hard as steel.
    >Wish I had an axe.

    You do see the issue here, right?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:22 No.17730609
    I'm human and even I think you aren't think enough about what you are saying.

    Sure, in the medium term it's easier to Mine Ore>Refine Ore>Smelt Metal>Beat out/Poor Metal>Sharpen/Polish Metal, but Long and Short Term Wood is easier to get and produce.

    Still, if all your women are now mine, I don't think it matters.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:22 No.17730622


    No it isn't. Magic takes time to cast and can have horrendous side effects if improperly used or abused. Constant use wears on the mind and body whether you want to admit it or not. Magic is not a two dollar whore you can wheel out whenever you want to get your rocks off.

    For all your cunning and wisdom, for all your knowledge of the preturnatural forces, you still seem incapable of holding your own against so trifling a thing as numbers and are gradually fading into the background of history, lost to the simple ebb and flow of time and your own arrogance.

    If you are as superior as your pretend, why then are we even having this discussion? Surely it would be a petty matter to demonstrate.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:23 No.17730641
    im a half elf/half human and i approve of the human culling. You know how much SHIT i got by being in a human wizardry school, just by being a halfbreed?
    a hint: it was a lot.
    Though, im cool with diggers...i mean dwarves!. Dammit! See? slang i picked with the humans.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:28 No.17730715
    >No it isn't. Magic takes time to cast and can have horrendous side effects if improperly used or abused.

    >This is what humans actually believe
    >> Moap !IApL6P4C4k 01/30/12(Mon)00:29 No.17730722
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    Because magic is such an easy resource and totally isnt part of the process.

    Well, when one of your parents is a whore and the other is barely higher on the evolutionary chain than an animal, what did you think would happen?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:30 No.17730746

    >elves are a dieing race
    >surely they know whats up

    Protip: Mass extinction is not a sign of wisdom.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:31 No.17730754

    You seem to forget how long we've been around human. Who taught you even the concept of magic in the first place and showed you the wonders it beheld. We are not wholly mortal, we are spirit made flesh, magic is intrinsic to our being like blood to yours. We understand it because we ARE it. To do works of magic is as easy to us as your reflex and thought. When your experience spans aeons you may one day comprehend and experience this yourself. Sadly your lives are far too short for that.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:33 No.17730793
    HEY. NO! The Aboleths taught us. You just ran and hid your pussy asses in your parallel planet for a while when the star fell.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:34 No.17730799

    > If you are as superior as your pretend, why then are we even having this discussion? Surely it would be a petty matter to demonstrate.

    See, this is a human thing. We elves wouldn't just commit genocide to prove a point, we only would for an actual, solid reason.

    Remember when that human king, I forget his name, waged war against the orc nation and wiped them out because the orcs practiced live sacrifice? Wiping out an entire civilization just to prove a point.

    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:34 No.17730805
    I think we should do something like the Kanktzki did and round them all up in concentration camps.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:34 No.17730806
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    Well, i already have your magical IP and i am able to summon Gargantuan Aberrations, what do you think is gonna happen ?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:37 No.17730861

    Aboleths? Is that what you believe? Those gibbering masses would sooner consume you arbitrarily like one breathes in a mote of dust than teach you anything. Even we elves don't wholly understand them,and they've been around longer than we have.
    >> Moap !IApL6P4C4k 01/30/12(Mon)00:37 No.17730872
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    >Been around 2000 years, invented a glowing stick
    You elves certainly are mystical creatures indeed....
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:39 No.17730894

    Compared to how long it took your kind to even contemplate the stick, ours is quite the feat in itself, Human.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:43 No.17730955
    We need to make a super race with almond shaped eyes and long ears
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:43 No.17730960
    silly elf, you aren't a dragon
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:46 No.17731026
    You know those stupid Otherkin who thinks THEY ARE DRAGONS.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:48 No.17731058

    True, dragons are ancient beings, but still wholly mortal. While they have withstood the test of time, we born of spirits were made at the beginning of creation, and we shall be at the end of it. That we have taken forms of flesh only recently by our standards is wholly of our own design, but some are growing weary of this realm and so return to the spirit, which by your understanding you believe we're "dying off".
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:52 No.17731105

    So, what, you're willing to accept systematic, institutionalized, national-scale Blood Magic? I'd think one of you oh-so-fucking mystical treefuckers would realize just how much of a cosmic gang-rape that is waiting to happen.
    >> Moap !IApL6P4C4k 01/30/12(Mon)00:53 No.17731130
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    So wait what you're saying is....
    >Elves have existed longer than Humans
    >Humans take longer to figure things out than Elves
    Yet, I'm the one sitting in a stone and mortar built building with a running water and tons of other technological feats, while you're in a stick/leaf treehouse.

    Maybe it's my feeble human mind, but something dosent click here...
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)00:58 No.17731183
    >Yet, I'm the one sitting in a stone and mortar built building with a running water and tons of other technological feats, while you're in a stick/leaf treehouse.
    Confirmed for never going to an Elven Capital.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:00 No.17731212

    That you believe this and still linger on these mortal desires and necessities, building your castles and your weapons and your contracts and your institutions proves how far you are from our understanding.

    We dwell in the natural world because we need nothing else. You may see this as primitive, but we see you and your vast civilization like children playing with toys.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:00 No.17731219
    At least elves aren't raping the environment...
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:01 No.17731229
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    All right, elfie. I'm on board.

    How 'bout you just send 'em over to us. They seem to like you well enough.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:02 No.17731246
    Why hello there pretty lady.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:02 No.17731251
    someone please tell me not all elves believe this. they can't all be this deep in denial about being as special as humans and goblins
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:02 No.17731256
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    > mfw when wood elves are acting like they are the True Elves, just in comparison to wood elves living in human cities.

    What do High Elves care if humans overrun the mortal world? The Other World will remain, it always remains, and the Lords of Chaos will devour the Earth in due time regardless.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:03 No.17731260
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:04 No.17731282
    Bardbusters disproved that Myth a long time ago, fuckhead.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:07 No.17731327
    >implying backwater, fundie elves watch modern programs
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:09 No.17731347
    Oh yeah. Still, how the hell does he have a computer? Or is a troll?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:10 No.17731355

    On the contrary we understand quite well. It's only out of pity and perhaps admiration that we leave you to your fun. For your short lives you are an entertaining lot.


    You're disillusioned to reality human. Goblins share a common trait with we elves, that they are born of spirits of the underworld and the malice within. Why do you think goblins steal the young of others? Creatures of death cannot hope to bear life, so they corrupt it. Ever wonder why goblins look so different from one another? Ponder that for an era.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:10 No.17731365
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    Fuck off. I'm here for blood, not semen.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:11 No.17731369
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    This is what happens when you treat them like people.
    >> Moap !IApL6P4C4k 01/30/12(Mon)01:13 No.17731398
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    Blah blah blah, one treehouse is bigger than this one, and in this area there's a lot of them, its all the same shit.

    See but by this argument Amoebas are more advanced than either of us because all they need is water, if even that.
    Oh wait, you elves probably don't have microscopes, I guess this argument is wasted and youll assume this was jargon.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:13 No.17731399
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    You're right. We should treat them like we treat you discolored ones.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:14 No.17731416
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    Fair enough, but what are you up to later?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:16 No.17731434

    >Not Raping the Environment.

    Earth Elemental Here, Flesh-thing. You realize your magicks twist the planes. The Rift Opens. He stirs.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:16 No.17731452
    why is it the "EVIL" elves are usually more bro tier than "pure" elves?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:17 No.17731455
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    Might have a human to take care of. Hope you aren't busy.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:17 No.17731466
    Halfling here.

    Please continue to ignore us.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:18 No.17731476

    We know what they are, being once spirits we can comprehend all stages of existence. However your argument would be correct, amoebas do live quaint existences but the fault is they have no awareness of it. They're merely building blocks of the great scheme of existence. You should not be so quick to judge them human, for without them you wouldn't exist.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:30 No.17731642
    The best solution to this is a simple one.
    We just change our mindset.

    There are no humans, there is just long pork.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:30 No.17731654
    You can comprehend all stages of existence, that's a pretty bold statement. What of the divines? What of us? What of yourself? Will you always sit in your mud huts and tree houses and lament about dwindling numbers and fantasize about the eradication of all the ascendent 'upstart' races and how you wish they would go away?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:32 No.17731679
    that's what wild elves do while the rest adapt
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:33 No.17731685
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    >implying most of us didn't think this way to begin with.

    We're just a superior race, but its good to see your kind catching up, elfie.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:39 No.17731773

    Well the divines are powerful spirits in themselves, and likely take on an avatar fit to the comprehender's understanding. While they have vast powers over elements of existence, they are not the creators, the true creators are unknown even to the divines, as we spirits came into being at the start, so we are unaware what started it. As for you humans, you're merely a collection of arbitrary elements of circumstance, and more aware of your existence than any of your predecessors, the animals you share your world with. As for we elves, we are spirit made flesh. We remain here as we desire to, and when we no longer desire to, we leave.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)01:54 No.17731953
    Yet with all those claims, we aren't all that different in the grand scheme of things. So what is it that really irks you so much about us? Is it your perceived loss of control to those born of this earth? This world moves, with or without you, and if you are unable to cope now, best leave before an even 'more aware' race appears, it is of no consequence to us.
    Meanwhile, we will live, work, and die, rising to the challenge of moving this world, and being in turn moved by it.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:00 No.17732031

    We don't all desire to leave just yet, and it's a problem for us when you force us to,
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:05 No.17732088
    No one is forcing you to do anything. The world moves, empires rise and fall, races come and go. We accept it, live with it, and if we can't, we die from it. It is you who is labeling a problem what is simply the natural order of things.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:09 No.17732127

    So slaying our mortal coil and our slumbering forms is not forcing us back into spirit? You're truly ignorant.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:24 No.17732303
    Mortal coil? You claim to be both the victim and wise of this world? Here, no one is entitled to a death by old age, that has to be earned. I've heard many wild claims in my (admittedly) short life, but the claim of each and every tree being the slumbering form of an eternal spirit by far takes the cake.
    In the few short decades I've lived, I've watched seeds grow into mighty trees, planted several myself. I've also watched mighty trees, centuries old, wither and rot from within far from the design of any 'self aware' creature. I will tell you what my eyes see, and that's that trees are of this earth, and they live and die as any other creature of this earth, be it shrub, fish, bird, or men.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:30 No.17732378
    >elves insulting humans for being short lived

    How amusing. Despite the accusations of throwing away my humanity that paladins incessantly lob at me, these withered bones are still quite human, and they are far older than many of your revered trees.

    Oh, we're *forcing* you out are we? For all your talk of mastering the arts of magic, you seem unable to use it properly. Truly the Elven people have reached a dire state when their legendary magics cannot even repel a group of vile lumberjacks seeking to desecrate their dead!
    >> Varity, is that you? 01/30/12(Mon)02:35 No.17732409
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:41 No.17732471
    Wait, seriously?

    You elves are mad about that?

    Where I come from, my entire TRIBE spits at the recollection of the Fallen Nation. They DESERVED to die; if they deserved to live, they would have. It's kinda funny how most orcs have forgotten all about that, but you elves are still fighting for a dead nation without honour.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:45 No.17732506
    Can you please re-apply your foundations?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:50 No.17732569
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    Is that what you make your wenches wear?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:54 No.17732607
    I don't have wenches. Sorry to tell you, I just prefer it if people didn't go around looking like horrors from fairy tales.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:56 No.17732625

    Elf detected
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:58 No.17732641

    Encourage Jewish immigration.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:58 No.17732649
    >elf goes on about loving nature
    >sees "all natural" orc
    >gets disgusted
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)02:59 No.17732658
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    Well sorry to disappoint, big boy. I was born like this, warpaint should be able to be in a color that can be seen-- like blood. Not the same color as my skin.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:09 No.17732804
    Celdrik The Just, he was not a king, he was Lord Protector of the Realm. His army was comprised, mostly, of soldiers and patriots from different nations.

    Also, he didn't commit genocide. It was just racial decimation. He removed a tenth of the Orcish population to subdue them.

    You know, for a being that lives for hundreds of years, you've got a pretty terrible memory if you can't remember a war my grandfather fought in.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:10 No.17732815
    >he didn't commit genocide. It was just racial decimation

    I'm not seeing the difference here.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:11 No.17732830
    Because only 10% of the population was executed.

    Genocide would mean we set out to kill all of them.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:13 No.17732854
    The women are totally on board with this plan.

    After all, there is a growing global half-elf population. With human surnames, of course.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:15 No.17732865
    Silly elves, parading their magical immortality around, handed to them on a silver platter as if it mattered. There are those of us who are no longer mortal by effort.

    You don't see any elven Necrocybermancers, do you? I wonder why.

    It only took a hundred years of research, life-extension tinctures, and studying technology of races long since crumbled to dust ('Bronze men', I believe they were called) but that's an eyeblink to the long-lived elves.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:18 No.17732909
    >Genocide would mean we set out to kill all of them.


    You'd think that the people who invented the word would have a better idea of what it means. You exterminated an entire nation because of their race. You didn't simply defeat them and take control of their population and resources. You killed all of them. That's genocide.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:20 No.17732941
    >You killed all of them.

    Compare this to the orc policy: Rape, enslave, sacrifice or just outright kill everyone.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:22 No.17732958
    You killed the entire nation. If you had tried to kill every orc on the planet, you might have actually encountered some resistance.


    No, you're not--if anything, we're better than you. We don't pretend that we're paragons of all that is holy and good when we do this shit.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:25 No.17732987
    >You don't see any elven Necrocybermancers, do you? I wonder why.
    Because Elven magical technology has developed to the point where they can become Baelnorn a vastly superior form of undead?

    It's like being proud of horse-cart technology when elves use tree-gate networks which allow inexpensive instantaneous transportation.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:28 No.17733010
    I was under the impression that their penchant for capturing humans and sacrificing them is what ignited the war. These things occur on a smaller scale with demon-worshiping cults quite often, the fact that a nation with a similar temperament is exterminated should come as no surprise.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:28 No.17733014
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    >at least we're not orcs
    We are honest. We don't try and justify our deaths, nor do we do your damned "sneaky" tricks and assassinate without leaving a trace. We are brave and accept responsibility for what we do. You do not.
    It's almost as if you're perpetually 19 or something.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:28 No.17733018
    >any kind of technology
    >not myths
    >tree-gate networks
    >not the elven equivalent of "my dad works at nintendo and such such and such but I can prove it or he gets fired"
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:29 No.17733024

    >implying baelnorns are commonplace
    >implying most elves don't simply die like bitches without heirs
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:29 No.17733027
    >You killed the entire nation.
    First off, let's clarify this.
    The term "nation" here has to be used liberally. It was closer to a confederation of tribes.
    >If you had tried to kill every orc on the planet, you might have actually encountered some resistance.
    It also would have been pointless. The Orc population is pacified, which benefits everyone. Or would you prefer a poor border town get ransacked every wint-

    >No, you're not--if anything, we're better than you.
    Oh. That explains it.
    You had it coming.
    By the way, The Elves you're clamoring to buddy up with? The pushed for a full on purge. If you'd bother actually reading a history book, you'd know that.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:30 No.17733029
    Honor is for the feeble minded that can't cope with responsibility.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:30 No.17733035

    That doesn't make any sense. Honor would dictate taking responsibility.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:31 No.17733040
    Oh, I'm not trying to villify the humans for what they did. Orcs are all about the law of the jungle. I'm just trying to make you guys understand what you did. You have all these illusions that it was some glorious, divine mission to cleanse all that was foul and impure just because the folk you were killing were green.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:32 No.17733050
    Its just a crutch for blaming everything on "honor" instead of facing that they can and will screw up. And then they take the easy way out with ritual suicides in the more extreme cases.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:33 No.17733064
    That's nice.
    For a race that glorifies war, you sure as hell don't understand it.
    War isn't honorable.
    War isn't fair.
    War is brutality, cruelty and suffering.
    War is the hells brought to the earth
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:35 No.17733077

    Clever talk for hiding behind walls and waiting for the bad men to go away. I'm sure when you tell your people how horrible war is, they believe it and think they're justified in being cowards.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:36 No.17733081
    Nice opinions you have there.
    War is where glory is made, honor is upheald, and strength is put to the test.
    I can't help it if you weaker, pinker races end up getting the butt end of our glory-- i.e. rape and slaughter.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:36 No.17733082
    >Even though the Battle of Bronze was fun as hell, let's just all admit it.
    It totally was.

    I mean, I am on your side here dude. I don't think we genocide enough. Like, once in a lifetime? What is that? What titchy kind of genocide rate is that? You get to do it once when you're young and never again.

    Nah. Fuck it. Let's do this thing.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:36 No.17733088
    >The Orc population is pacified
    This is what humans actually believe

    >You had it coming.
    Okay, okay, hold on.
    was me. That was something I said. Hold on, here's the important bit.
    >they deserved it
    See? We agree on something.

    >By the way, The Elves you're clamoring to buddy up with? The pushed for a full on purge. If you'd bother actually reading a history book, you'd know that.

    I'm not clamoring to buddy up with anyone. Are you seriously telling me humans weren't pushing for a purge either? They killed EVERYONE in the nation (I can call it whatever the fuck I want. Dwarf nations aren't much more but a collection of clans, but you don't give them any shit about it), the only reason they stopped after that was probably due to lack of resources.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:37 No.17733094
    No problem in being cowards, as long you're the one left alive.
    Fucking "honor before reason" races are evolutionary dead ends.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:37 No.17733097
    >And then they take the easy way out with ritual suicides
    >ritual suicide

    Have you SEEN our ritual suicides?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:38 No.17733104
    They didn't face the problems like real men, and instead just killed themselves. That's why it is the "easy way out".
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:39 No.17733109
    They were not killed "because they were green". By the gods you elves are thick-headed for a race with such delicate skulls. The nation in question routinely raided human settlements for their sacrificial victims, this was their cultural tradition for centuries. If they were allowed to survive and rebuild, they would have gone back to their old ways with even more fury than before.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:39 No.17733113
    Okay guys here is the plan:

    1) Start killing humans
    2) Stop when, y'know, you feel satisfied with your personal deathtoll
    3) Keep killing for a bit
    4) Maybe forever
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:40 No.17733120
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    Orc brothers, obviously these elves have nothing for us here. If they aren't going to abide by our ways, we should just go about them. With them as allies or not. We can take care of this human "population" problem.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:41 No.17733127
    Guess its savage killing time! Prepare the tanks! Ready the missiles!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:41 No.17733128
    That's not the situation in which someone commits ritual suicide. It's not to avoid the consequences of their actions, it's to make up for their failure if no other option is available. It is just the beginning of their trials--many more wait for them in the spirit world. More often than not, those with honour choose to die in battle.

    Again, I ask...have you SEEN our ritual suicides? We take this shit seriously. It's
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:43 No.17733139
    Failure is a consequence of their action. By not facing failure, they're not facing their consequences. And the "spirit world" is just a load of bollocks.

    And again, honour is nothing but a crutch.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:43 No.17733140
    I think it's amusing how people can't deal with humanity being on the backfoot or threatened in fantasy.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:45 No.17733151

    I'm not saying you didn't have the right to do any of that shit. Again, us orcs? All about the law of the jungle. We welcome you to try that shit again. It's what we fucking WANT. Our entire society is built around fighting people. We don't care if we live or if we die, only that we live and die with honour.

    I'm just saying you need to stop pretending it was fucking sunshine and rainbows and you were completely justified. Nothing justifies the killing of noncombatant women and children, and the sooner you humans realize you don't need to justify your actions in war the better off everyone will be because we'll all be free from your false morality and zealotry.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:46 No.17733159
    Join the party. Breed with us.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:46 No.17733171
    Or you could stop living like savages and accept our culture.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:48 No.17733189
    >This is what humans actually believe
    So do the statistics. What should I believe, numerical data or some under-bitten savage?

    >They killed EVERYONE in the nation
    You're smart. I mean, you know how to read. Let's assume you know basic math as well.
    Does 10 = 100?
    So how does 10% = 100%?
    It doesn't.

    >Dwarf nations aren't much more but a collection of clans, but you don't give them any shit about it
    You greatly undersell the complexity Dwarven Government. It's not "punch the biggest guy in the dick, become new high chief."

    >the only reason they stopped after that was probably due to lack of resources.
    You do understand how a decimation works, right? You just don't go around and go "yeah, that's probably ten percent, let's go home."
    You round people up, you take a head count, and then you execute them.
    Unless you're saying we ran out of means to execute you.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:48 No.17733190
    >By not facing failure, they're not facing their consequences.
    They ARE facing their consequences. Not facing their consequences would be running away, or simply running yourself through. The point of the "ritual" bit of "ritual suicide" is to start the person in question's trial in the spirit re--

    >the spirit world is just a load of bollocks

    Find a shaman on the battlefield, calling upon every animal and elemental spirit that will come to him to destroy his enemies and come back and tell me that again.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:48 No.17733193
    Your kind don't want us in your culture. We'd just be outcasted, like our bastards are in your society. How about you stop fucking with us?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:50 No.17733209
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    Bring it on you prancing fairies! We've been dealing with invaders since our ancestors crawled out of the ocean!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:50 No.17733210

    Cuz raping others with your beliefs is the better thing to do.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:50 No.17733211
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    Hi Elf. I'm a human. I breed with anythling, live a short life, and yet I haeve already taken over the entire planet.

    Magical spells? Hit me with your best shot, I'm already level 17 wizard (Just trained my familiar, shit was so Cash),

    Anyway, I'm just here to say well Elf, your time is over, and now the human race is superior

    (picture related its me and my cute familiar
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:51 No.17733222
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    >proposed Orc-Human alliance
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:52 No.17733229

    Stay centered, young one.

    I know it was before your time, but the human came once to our world. Where do you think the ruins come from ?

    Let them build their culture, maybe they wont infringe on our lands. If they do not respect our borders again the wandering woods and the wild hunt shall scour them from our world once more.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:52 No.17733230
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    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:52 No.17733231
    I don't even think humans are a part of the argument anymore, right now it just looks like orcs and humans/elves arguing.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:52 No.17733239
    >Is it just me, or aren't we supposed to build on what's established about the world in stuff that's already been posted, not completely ignore what's been said, wait until we're halfway through a debate then inform the person you're talking to that you're actually using a different version events other than what's already been established?
    >Post that started this:
    >Remember when that human king, I forget his name, waged war against the orc nation and wiped them out because the orcs practiced live sacrifice? Wiping out an entire civilization just to prove a point.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:54 No.17733249
    >Implying it hasn't been about spinning propaganda.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:55 No.17733254
    A real man would stay, acknowledge that he failed and then pay the consequence, but not with their lives.
    And I have seen shamans, they all just gesticulate, dance and make weird noises without never accomplishing something productive.
    There is no scientific proof that the so called "spirit world" even exists.

    Its that or dying of malnourishment or something similar.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:55 No.17733258
    Women and children? Non-combatant innocents?! HAH. Women produce children, and children grow into adults, if those adults proceed to slaughter our people is it truly wrong to eliminate those threats? When your basement is infested with monstrous spiders you do not allow the eggs to fester and hatch (unless you're a budget necromancer and want more exoskeletal spider minions).
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:56 No.17733265
    Elves are consummate liers, you should have known that by already.
    Never trust elves.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:57 No.17733266
    >die of malnourishment
    I'm okay with living off of human flesh and your crops.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:57 No.17733270
    >consummate liars
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:58 No.17733276
    >Implying a savage with a sword can do anything against a guard with firearms
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)03:58 No.17733278
    Sarvesh here, i'm way too drunk to care. Hyeou dun hav dat echscuse.

    Whoo! *fump*
    Hey! Who moved the bar stool
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:00 No.17733289
    >implying a "savage" with a sword couldn't take care of a farm easily.
    And even if they did hit this "savage"
    >implying that would stop their advance.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:01 No.17733293
    If I were to judge the existence of your divines with my only evidence being the mundane ritual and tradition of your clergy, I'd be able to say your gods didn't exist either.

    I guess we were just imagining the complete destruction of 14 of the oldest orc bloodlines in the entire world, right? The torched crops, the bonfires fueled by greenskin corpses, the looted relics, the abandoned fortresses, we just made those up? Maybe the other 90% of those clans are just hiding and they just haven't written us back in hundreds of years.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:03 No.17733311
    I don't have gods nor religion. Science and its methods are all what I need.
    And there are no proofs of any god, at that.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:03 No.17733315
    Stop. Just stop.

    You're trying to justify something which is injustifiable--but DOESN'T NEED TO BE JUSTIFIED because it is NECESSARY.

    I swear, you keep latching on to the one or two words that piss you off without catching on to what I'm actually saying. You have the nerve to call US dimwitted.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:04 No.17733323
    Is there proof that our spirit world doesn't exist?
    Or any god, for that matter?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:05 No.17733332
    That's where burden of proof comes in.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:06 No.17733337
    Why can't we just live our lives how we choose?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:07 No.17733343
    Living in ignorance is a terrible thing.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:07 No.17733348
    And you're ignorant of the spirit world.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:07 No.17733350
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    We humans, we ride. We come. We want, we want because when we were cast there was a hole in us. It cannot be filled with pleasure, accomplishment, creation, war, success, material wealth, food, or power. It drives us forward...and we are hungry, so hungry. We will devour your resources, then your culture, then we will muddy your lineage with our own, over and over untill you are us...and just as hungry. It is our gift, to all the other races. Until then, we ride.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:08 No.17733355
    And what's driving you to free us from this "ignorance"?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:08 No.17733365
    And you deluded yourself into believing something not even you can prove it.
    No, hallucinations are not valid proof.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:10 No.17733385
    I'm a man of science, my job is battling ignorance and try to understand how the Universe works.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:12 No.17733393
    So it's worse than just forming an opinion on something without knowing everything about it, you're actually trying to form a scientific hypothesis with clearly incomplete evidence. Some scientist you are.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:12 No.17733395
    This is my problem with you pink races, everything always needs to be forced on us. It's your personal goal in life as our "superior" to teach us. Maybe I can't read common or speak it all too well, and you might be a bit smarter than me-- but I could probably crush your skull in my armpit. That's all I really care about. You'll never change that, pinkie. Why don't you go try and convince dwarves to start being taller.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:16 No.17733434
    I'll gladly start accepting the "spirit world" as real as soon I find hard, verifiable existence of it. Maybe you can help, since you defend your beliefs so vehemently.

    Mind over brawn.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:17 No.17733441
    Find a shaman and piss him off. You'll be believing in the spirit world soon enough.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:17 No.17733443
    I don't care how big your head is, it crushes all the same. In fact, it might just be squishier that way.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:18 No.17733452
    Not to insult your surely human-equivalent intellect, but the word is "UNjustifiable". And no, it was quite justified, in fact you justified it for me. To be unable to justify it, I would need to lack a valid reason for it to be done, and yet even you admit that the culling was necessary.

    I understand your anger over the mass extermination of your people. But how dare you complain when you start wars with our people, and we react as if you well...started a war with us! Time and time again, village after village, the Orc species and culture has proved itself an enemy of humanity. Do not complain that we treat you no better than the common monster, for that is what you are!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:19 No.17733463
    >trying to form a scientific hypothesis with clearly incomplete evidence.
    I think you mean conclusion
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:21 No.17733476
    I already said that I visited a myriad of shamans, and many respected shamans at that, and that none of them managed to recall anything, just dance and invite people to eat hallucinogenic mushrooms.

    Races like you, that think that brute force solves everything just make me sigh that we have to share land with such savages that never go anywhere in life.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:22 No.17733486
    Maybe not in your society.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:24 No.17733495
    >But how dare you complain


    Also, justification is what humans do when they need to think of a reason to explain to their wives and children why they spent 15 years slaughtering the wives and children of others. Justification is stupid and weak, and often completely wrong. I can't tell you how many times I've heard humans try to justify their extermination of another race by trying to add all sorts of bullshit to the mix. Necessity is necessity.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:24 No.17733500
    My society doesn't even have shamans, for we don't need them.
    I have travelled far and wide to find someone with clearly supernatural powers, but I found nothing. Neither did my peers.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:26 No.17733515
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    Slavery is the only option.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:29 No.17733531
    >Do not complain that we treat you no better than the common monster, for that is what you are!

    In conclusion, I'm not complaining about how you treat us. I'm claiming that you pretend you don't treat us just as badly as we treat you.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:32 No.17733563
    There are multiple communities dedicated to people RPing their racist fantasies out - Youtube, Stormfront, /int/, /k/ and Conservopedia, to mention three. I'm sure you all wil fit right into those places.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:33 No.17733568
    Counter-bump. Stop being so mad about nothing.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:34 No.17733570
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    But those people can't tell fantasy apart from reality, theyre creepy.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:36 No.17733598
    Ah, so what you're saying is that you don't NEED a reason to slaughter the wives and children of others? I wrote up a big explanation of how eating is necessary, yet there exists a justification for it, but then I realized your clearly inferior orcish mind would not be able to comprehend the message. You speak of blinding rage, yet you are ALWAYS blind, to simple facts of the world and the people in it. Continue your "honorable battles" you sickening monster, with any luck one of those paladins will stop poking around my crypt long enough to find you.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:40 No.17733642
    >Ah, so what you're saying is that you don't NEED a reason to slaughter the wives and children of others?

    For what reason did you, other than orcs did it to you first? Why did orcs do it to you then, excluding the fact that before that there were humans who did it to them? What possible justification did THOSE humans have, excluding the fact that before there were orcs for them to slaughter, there were other orcs slaughtering them?

    War is war. War doesn't need a reason--stop pretending like it does at the same time as you sink to our level.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:48 No.17733712
    I'm not so old that I can recall the reason for the first battles between orcs and humans. Perhaps your cultural obsession with strength led you to prey on the weak humans, or perhaps we struck the first blow, believing you to be vicious predators. Probably both, depending on which group saw the other first.

    >For what reason did you, other than orcs did it to you first?
    This is the only reason needed. Your species is so backwards that it requires no reason to destroy itself and others, but that is not true of others. If you did not rampage across the lands we would not need to stop you. I find it odd that a species capable of conversation is so lacking in common sense.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:53 No.17733756
    Yo, Gnome here. Can we all quit arguing for a while and just go fuck over the Kobolds? I bet we'll all be able to have a much calmer conversation once we've worked out some hostilities on them. What else are they good for, after all.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:54 No.17733763

    They are surprisingly good chefs. Though that doesn't mean they're worth keeping around.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:57 No.17733788
    >This is the only reason needed.
    And if you humans are the CHAMPIONS OF JUSTICE you claim to be, it is no reason at all. Protection is not extermination.

    >Your species is so backwards that it requires no reason to destroy itself and others, but that is not true of others.

    This is what humans actually believe. You call me blind, but I manage to see something you refuse to: WHAT HUMANS ACTUALLY DO. You ravage the lands. You fight without reason. You are the same as us. The only difference--and I'm only going to say this one more time--the only difference between you and I is that I don't pretend that I'm on some moral high ground when I'm doing the exact same shit you do.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)04:59 No.17733805
    Hey, don't dismiss the kobolds entirely.
    >use illusions to make yourself look like a dragon
    >kobolds now worship you

    Once you get past the "lizardpoop EVERYWHERE" thing, they make amazing budget minions.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:07 No.17733862
    >Protection is not extermination.
    They go hand in hand. When an orc tribe assaults a human castle for generations, sending knights or adventurers to wipe out the tribe itself is the only solution with any permanence. It is not about being CHAMPIONS OF JUSTICE, it is about responding to a threat. You claim that we are on the same level as you, when YOU are the aggressors in almost every war between our people.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:10 No.17733894
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    ITT: neckbeard virgin elves
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:13 No.17733912

    No one can know who started it. Since there have been humans and orcs, we have been at war. You DO claim to be champions of justice, because you claim you are in the right. You are no different. Why do I have to repeat myself.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:14 No.17733924
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    Elves can't grow facial hair.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:15 No.17733937
    Our bonus feat will defeat your measly dexterity and racial weapon proficiencies any day of the fucking year.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:16 No.17733944
    Ok you know what this is bullshit all of you stop it day in and day out I'm sick and fucking tired of hearing "HURR DURR ORC IZ STRONGEST" or " we elves are superior special snowflakes with unmatched magical powers also we are from the dawn of time" because it's BULLSHIT you tree fuckers wouldn't know true law of the land, spiritual magic or age if it kicked you square in the puss also orcs you better believe you fucks got it easy. I mean my people the Ice Giants were litarally here when the gods were fucking around with creation and you know what we were one of the first races around us. The Jotun and you better believe the gods didn't like that we were mostly wiped out. So assholes please think about some Of us other races for a change. Oh hey orc Girly you want catch dinner or something later
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:16 No.17733950
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    that's just because they haven't tried hard enough yet
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:16 No.17733951
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    You guys are both dipshits, War is bad stuff, you should always be willing to forgive and try diplomacy, if you don't nothing will ever change, it's holding onto these bitter resentments that begets more senseless death.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:20 No.17733976
    Which, if humans were as reasonable as they pretend to be, would be their strategy. There have been agreements between humans and orcs before, so it's not like it's impossible. Seeing as how they simply opt for extermination, they lose the moral high ground.

    This is all I'm saying. People are reading way too much into it.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:24 No.17734007
    Because we ARE in the right. Do you really think the average peasant village gives a damn about the orcs before an orc raiding party comes and starts chopping off their heads?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:27 No.17734033

    Yes, because before that orc raiding party, there is an entire history of conflict between our two races.

    Why oh why are you guys having so much trouble with this? Our races are more or less always at war. Our races are as bad as one another. Stop pretending you're better and enjoy the fighting.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:28 No.17734045
    I saw a human diplomat try to hold peace talks with orcs once. They chopped him up into little peaces (HOHOHO) and cooked him. Credit where credit is due, they didn't actually eat him. They fed him to their warhounds.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:30 No.17734055
    There have been successful peace talks with orcs. It just doesn't happen more often than orcs are comfortable with.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:36 No.17734102
    >Stop pretending you're better and enjoy the fighting.

    This is the problem. We are not like you. We do not look forward to fighting with glee, we see the prospect of getting killed to be absolutely terrifying. We enjoy victory, but that applies to any aspect of our lives. The fight itself is a means to an end for us, not the means AND the end like it is with you.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:38 No.17734115
    >We do not look forward to fighting with glee

    Despite all evidence to the contrary.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:39 No.17734128
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    If you think that's bad, you don't want to know what the phoenix people and other human beings did to my waifu.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:46 No.17734176
    Bad? I thought it was hilarious, the orc chief was named "Krug MaidenGore the Mutilator". I doubt the peace talks would've gone well anyway, considering he didn't know orc naming conventions at the time. (hint: everything after "Krug" was literal)
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:50 No.17734193
    What, because we fight instead of running? I won't deny that humans who enjoy a battle to the death exist, but to think some peasant drafted into the army enjoys it is foolish.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:51 No.17734208
    right but MaidenGore the Mutilator doesn't mean the same thing in orcish.
    It's a 'false friend', it actually translates to something like "stern but wise judge of character"
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)05:51 No.17734210
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    You know, say what you will about humans, but at least they let me visit their libraries. Their mages have some of the vastest libraries I've ever seen, and not just magical knowledge. I just said I was interested in learning, and they let me right in. But the elves laughed at me when I said I wanted to learn. "An orc?" they'd say, "Wanting to learn our secrets? Pah!" and they just stuck up their noses, saying I wouldn't understand.

    Of course I won't understand if you don't tell me! The elves couldn't seem to understand the concept of learning things at all. All their books are locked away, kept 'safe' and only browsed by their leaders, when they should be read and learned from! It's terrible, keeping books locked away like that. Books are for reading!

    You can't mistreat books like that! It's awful! We need to do something about it!

    And don't get me started on all times humans bend the covers! Forget the war crimes, what about the BOOKS, Gruumsh dammit!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:00 No.17734271
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    Pleb appeasing trash. You have steered our race into every conceivable mistake, and you have given the humans every conceivable advantage, and now you advocate a return to form six hundred years after it's too late?

    How do you propose we cull their numbers you ignorant glade-floorer? With our army? Oh wait, we don't do mandatory Ranger service anymore. It used to be that just BEING an elf was a sign that one was as capable as a human ranger, we were a class all our own, every man woman and child learned swordsmanship and archery from birth, there was no such thing as an "elvish healer," there was no such thing as a, a, a fucking Druid, what the fuck, I'm so angry I can't even talk straight, this was YOUR idea, the idea of you, and people like you, who don't look to the future, you only think about your pleasures today, about how to best spoil your brats and maximize the amount of human cock you can suck tonight, heedless of the inevitability of the destruction you subject us to.

    Now that you've successfully wasted the childhoods of five generations of elves with this wishy-washy namby pampby subsistence agriculture bullshit, taking away everything that made Elfdom great, teaching our people that we OWE something to the fucking humans just because we spent a few hundred years doing to others before they could do to us, now that you've spent a millennium making every concession to those round eared cunts rather than terrifying them in their mud huts and occasionally raping the cute ones, as we should have always been doing, they outnumber us thirty to one. They've got more infrastructure than we do, they've got more territory than we do, and they're no longer afraid of us.

    And NOW you want to act? Newsflash faggot, you can't undo a thousand years of social decay in an afternoon of legislation.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:02 No.17734279
    You're not missing out on much, most elven libraries don't contain more than gardening tips, excessively long poetry, the secret of immortality, and vegetarian cookbooks.

    He was pretty good at judging people's character, but he still covered himself in the gore of maidens that he mutilated.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:04 No.17734294
    >elf... was a class all its own
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:06 No.17734302
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    All you need is a good force multiplier, seriously though, Humans are in the palm of the elven hand i thought. I mean Humans like elves. Being liked is always more useful than being feared.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:08 No.17734312
    humans seem to like dogs and horses to

    they're not going to rise up against them any time soon
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:09 No.17734322
    How very like the stick-eaters to blame all of our troubles on the progressives. Our people live better lives than they lived before, we've benefited from trade with the humans, you can't seriously be claiming that we would've been better off crushing their civilization in its infancy. What if the Eladrin had said the same about us when we were rising up? Are we so different from the humans?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:12 No.17734343
    They like Elves because they don't perceive them as a threat anymore.

    Being "liked" by humans has no detrimental or beneficial effects with the exception they won't think about curb stomping you until you try something.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:12 No.17734345
    Not really, we like them because they look like us, except they don't have any ugly people, and they have that whole "exotic" thing going on, and they bend in all the right places... The second the elves start demanding we do manual labor for them, or try to tear down our walls to make way for their forest, we tell them to piss off.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:17 No.17734379
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    I don't think you're paying much attention, the above issue is in response to fear of human encroachment. which, if elves are liked, isn't going to be a problem for a long time.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:19 No.17734398
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    The best force multiplier is the organic one. There was a time, back before we let the heathens build cities, plant fields and dig aqueducts, when their rapid births and our slow deaths kept us at about even numbers.

    The fact that we are ostensibly friends of the humans, that the casus belli is positive, doesn't mean that they won't throw us under the carriage if we're in the way of their expansion. (Hint: We will be.)
    Humans learned pragmatism at the elvish knee, I only wish they had stuck around for the decadence class.

    If the Eladrin had thought the same as I'm proposing, there might still BE Eladrin. Where are they now? Endangered species is an understatement, I've seen more three eyed albinos this week than I've seen Eladrin in the last fifty years, they had their chance to break us, and they passed it up because they thought we had "potential." Now they're a specter of the race they used to be.

    I'm not saying we're different from the humans, I'm saying they're exactly like us. That's specifically why we must destroy them, before they destroy us, just as the First Kings should have destroyed us before we destroyed them. If we don't, then someday a human will say to another human, "What if the elves had said the same about us when we were rising up? Are we so different from the Orcs?"
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:21 No.17734418
    Seemed to be more about *elven* encroachment.

    >Humans are in the palm of the elven hand i thought.
    This implies we are in some way subservient to them.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:23 No.17734435
    >Do not post the following outside of /b/: Trolls, flames, racism, off-topic replies, uncalled for catchphrases, macro image replies, indecipherable text (example: "lol u tk him 2da bar|?"), anthropomorphic ("furry"), grotesque ("guro"), or loli/shota pornography.
    >anthropomorphic ("furry")
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:25 No.17734444
    >implying killing everything that is slightly menacing to you isn't adaptative. It's just that you adapt the environment to yourself, rather than the contrary.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:27 No.17734460
    Mabey the humans wouldnt be such a problem if the elves didnt shoot their bows in a retard fashion like OP does in his pic there.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:29 No.17734469
    From a political standpoint, it's true. Humans like elves. To them, the elves are their closest, oldest ally. Sure there have been some rough patches, but the elves are always there, and when the orcs come marauding through, the elves always show up to help.

    To the elves, the relationship is much less pleasant, and more realpolitik. Humans are upstarts, a wasteful, destructive plague of a race, who have single handedly caused the orc problem, who have encroached on elvish lands and served as the catalyst for elvish societal decay. They show up for the orc invasions because they'd rather fight the orcs in human territory than elvish lands.

    Basically, one loves the other, one hates the other. It's like a battered spouse thing. Until the inevitable disillusionment, the elves have the political initiative.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:34 No.17734497
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    those fucken Mon Keighs, always stealing cars and causing trouble everywhere
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:42 No.17734555
    It'll take a lot of damage to make that initiative mean anything though. I'm talking mass crop burning, peasant and clergy slaughter, regicide! The sheer amount of coordination required would be insane, and they'd still be fucked if humanity managed to get the dwarves and/or orcs to help them out.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:47 No.17734583
    As the above elf pointed out, the time to act was hundreds of years ago. The buck has passed, which means that the only avenue to victory now is politics, rather than direct military action.

    Ideally, the humans could serve as a buffer state, but it's hard to keep a buffer state from turning from real estate into a real state. The idea of the elves now rising up and physically destroying the humans is a total pipe dream. The bed has been made, now it's just a matter of how to lay in it.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:50 No.17734606
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    Okay, guys, listen. I know we have this whole political correctness thing, and I appreciate it. I really do. I understand that what was appropriate six years ago isn't appropriate today, that's why we all call them "elves" today and not "lunch" like we used to.

    But we've got to deal with the humans. It's just reached a point where their reproduction rate is too high and they'll overtake us by numbers alone. I'm not saying we need to commit genocide or anything, but they live by serving the sorcerer kings and hoarding water. That's an obvious problem for us, I'm not going to bother explaining why.

    I really want to emphasize that I'm *not* advocating that we kill them all. This isn't like when we killed all the Klik'tak'te tribe and they asked why and were just like "lol I dunno," this is for a defined, logical reason. Even though my ancestor's memories of the Culling of the Vicious Savages tell me it was fun as hell, let's just all admit it.

    That said, what's the best way to go about culling their numbers down to, let's say, the halflings?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:54 No.17734635
    Stop being praying mantis-ant people, become spider-hornet people. Us humans fucking HATE hornets and spiders, so we'd either wipe you out or flee in terror.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:56 No.17734648
    Where the fuck do you get ants from? They've more in common with locusts than ants, what with the jumping super-high and ravenous appetite.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)06:59 No.17734666
    What about the humans that are actually, you know

    aware of what we're doing to the planet and are trying to stop it?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:01 No.17734674
    Filibuster until they die of age, and proceed with the plan as normal.
    Elves are always "up to something," and nobody ever cares or has ever cared. Well this time they're right, but why should that make a difference?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:01 No.17734679
    Amen. I'm sick and tired of these mud dwellers coming to our forests just to abuse the gifts of mother nature, you know? Look at all humanoid achievement, and basically everything is either Elven or based on earlier Elven work.

    Those hairless apes have no sense of fair play, hygiene or common courtesy and I think they need to fuck off where they came from.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:02 No.17734683
    Too busy being horrified at the prospect of giant, tool using, sapient hybrids of spiders and hornets to properly think of various insects that resemble thri-kreen.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:02 No.17734684
    Man, fuck you surface elves, I'm gonna go live underground with the Drow. At least they're honest about what pricks they are.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:04 No.17734691
    >No sense of hygiene

    You have no idea how many products we've invented for the sole purpose of keeping ourselves clean, do you
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:06 No.17734704
    This thread is why my (highly WIP) setting's elves are less like D&D elves and more like sentient spider monkey archers with a taste for human flesh. Orcs, meanwhile, are angry, fast-breeding, swamp-dwelling, huge and tough savages who are hyper-violent, humans are Mesopotamians, and dwarfs are more-or-less peaceful mole-people... who will fuck your shit up if you piss them off (expert diggers means expert miners and sappers).
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:07 No.17734708
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    You living people are so silly.
    Fighting for a place under the sun, like it matters in a long run, trying to kill/outbreed your fellow living organisms.
    Truly only those who transcend mortality have a clear head in this world.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:11 No.17734729
    What, like soap, combs, scissors? Give me a break mud dweller, we invented those things before you. Your cities stink to high heaven and there's refuse everywhere in the streets.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:12 No.17734734
    >One race is incredibly long-lived, very isolated, has world-views that occasionally seem alien to us

    >Other race is almost exactly like us, except they love war and fighting a whole hell of a lot more than we do somehow

    How did we end up with elves as our allies again
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:13 No.17734740
    Yeah, but you never said anything about the hygiene of our cities. And do you really want to get into a pissing contest about "who invented what"?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:17 No.17734758
    Elves don't rape your wife and eat your kids.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:21 No.17734774
    You can't kill liches with old age, and the vast majority of us started as humans. Sure we attack human kingdoms sometimes, usually in search of artifacts and ancient lore, but you know who else has artifacts and ancient lore? You. And the elves aren't going to be able to protect it when they have their hands full with the war. Also we usually remember those times you brag about your lifespans with a sadistic joy. Imagine my haughty rival's face when I teleported to her deathbed 4 centuries after I should've died and started calling her granny.

    Amen, but you have to admit raising a zombie army and throwing it at the nearest kingdom is fun.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:21 No.17734775
    Except for the ones that do
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:29 No.17734811

    This is
    And you'd actually be surprised! In A History of Elves and Their Cultures, it details a small elvish community that operated out of the deserts. They raided and pillaged as well as any orc tribe - a habit which I'll say I find paints the orcs in a rather bad light, actually - and most certianly engaged in, er... less savoury activities. They were known for painting their faces in blood, and charging into combat with a terrifying cry of "Wibble Wibble!"

    The more you know!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:29 No.17734812
    Why don't we just...engineer some sort of greater threat, something so massive and vile, that orcs, elves, and humans will have no choice but to work together to defeat it.

    And then just keep throwing it at them for eternity.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:32 No.17734822
    Well, yeah. And some orcs are pacifists, but we're talking about the majority here. Also, elves and orcs are both bastards, but elves are generally much less violent about it. If you have to choose between siding with an elitist prick who will mock and tease you regardless of the outcome and siding with a bloodthirsty maniac who will attempt to murder you regardless of the outcome, you choose the former.
    The fact is that working with elves makes more sense than working with orcs makes more sense than trying to stay neutral and getting attacked by both.
    Also, elf women are hot, orc chicks are ugly.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:33 No.17734830
    Oh crap I almost missed the meeting.

    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:37 No.17734847
    Elf here - just wanted to say humans are okay by me. Yeah, they might outnumber us, and they might burn down all the forests and kill all the cute little bunnies and shit, but... fuck those hippy elves. The rest of us are still here, lurking in humans' dreams... we were there when they first looked up and wondered about those lights in the big darkness, and we'll be there even once they've flown to the furthest stars. They can't wipe us out because we're part of them now.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:41 No.17734863
    >"Wibble Wibble!"

    I ran into them before my ascension, made me swear off desert adventures forever. What wiped them out?

    The weird thing is that those threats already exist, but they always get defeated or sealed by a ragtag group of adventurers instead of joint efforts between races as a whole. Doesn't matter what form, if its an army they find some way to hit the leader, if its an unknowable terror from the far realm it takes the form of a glowing eye and lets them hit it, if its a concept they hit it WITH WORDS.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:43 No.17734877
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    It's like you haven't looked at an orc woman before. How could you call those tusks ugly!?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:44 No.17734883
    It's a funny story, actually. It turns out that even elves are particularly vulnerable to being killed by falling rocks.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:44 No.17734885
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    Okay, guys, listen. I know we have this whole political correctness thing, and I appreciate it. I really do. I understand that what was appropriate six hundred years ago isn't appropriate today, that's why we all call them "golems" today and not "mud slaves" like we used to.

    But we've got to deal with the living. It's just reached a point where their reproduction rate is too high and they'll overtake us by numbers alone. I'm not saying we need to commit genocide or anything, but they live by burying their dead, or cremating them. That's an obvious problem for us, I'm not going to bother explaining why.

    I really want to emphasize that I'm *not* advocating that we kill them all. This isn't like when we killed all the First Men and they asked why and were just like "lol necromancy," this is for a defined, logical reason. Even though the Primordial Blasphemy was fun as hell, let's just all admit it.

    That said, what's the best way to go about culling their numbers down to, let's say, the Fae?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:46 No.17734890
    then maybe the greater threat would be a ragtag group of adventurers?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:50 No.17734916
    Cull the living to Fae numbers? So we have to go find some elusive settlement tucked away in a waterfall every time we need a new skeleton to turn the giant hamster wheel? Eternity is boring enough without having to make our chores even longer.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:51 No.17734917
    A ragtag group of adventurers set out to unite the three races. To prevent this, the three races have to work together to stop the adventurers from succeeding.

    ...Or something.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:53 No.17734926
    No races, you are the progressiveness.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:55 No.17734937
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    Yes, yes. Once more Sindari propaganda polluting the air. Look, not all elves live in the forest, and quite a few of us build cities, foge metals, and have no problem with humankind doing the same thing. Perhaps if you Sindar would look at *developing* the areas you have settled, or perhaps making sure you are seen to be there instead of being isolationist, the Humans would know your lands are settled? Just a thought, cousin. They see our walls and towers, and they know we're there... what do they even see of you?
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)07:58 No.17734949
    You'd think the corpses of the last people to invade would be enough.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)08:01 No.17734967
    You don't understand humans very well, do you.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)08:27 No.17735100

    Doubtful. Thier brief span means generally shorter memories, and when they return in three generations, see bones and think "Another demon infested forest! Destroy it before they come out to destroy us," you Sindar have the temerity to think this is not your doing?

    You plant a seed, it grows into a tree, and then weep that the tree does not do as you wish it to.
    >> The Dragon of Black Water 01/30/12(Mon)09:52 No.17735636
    Chill the fuck out guys

    Ive got this.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)10:00 No.17735658
    >You plant a seed, it grows into a tree, and then weep that the tree does not do as you wish it to.
    To be fair, they can probably grow that tree into any shape by singing, and assume other races just choose not to out of irrational hatred of trees. Pick a different analogy.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)13:02 No.17737010
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    Drow here.

    The obvious solution is for humans and elves to kill each other and let us take the surface world.

    We won't actually do anything with it, that light blindness penalty is a huge problem, but we'll probably erect some statues to Lolth and forget about the place after two or three generations.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)16:10 No.17738632
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    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)16:14 No.17738664

    But every know and then that special snowflake will be tired of living down there and will move to the surface world, given enough time there will be enough of them up there and it will be the same shit all over again
    >> Rogue 01/30/12(Mon)17:31 No.17739518
    Okay... Temporal Anomaly in human form here. I've seen most of the battles you referenced first hand, and I have to say. You're all pretty stupid. Granted I'm a human right now, that's beside the point. Time kills everything. The sooner you realize that the sooner you can have more fun.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)17:33 No.17739547
    Fun killing humans, yes. The infidel is right, get yer knives out people!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)17:47 No.17739725
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    I died laughing and then capped this.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)18:00 No.17739856
    Ssssoooo are you a dude or a chick because if your a chick I got something for that "insatiable" hunger of yours
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)18:12 No.17740001
    Listen up you knife-eared, tree-raping pansy. If you ever, ever say "Beardo" again, I'm going to use my wrestling skill, break your arms, then pinch off your nose and kill you by throwing it into your skull repeatedly. Sod you, you hippie.
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)20:52 No.17741906
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    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)20:55 No.17741936
    Step 1. Breed some half-elves.
    Step 2. Magic them up so they look fully human.
    Step 3. Make half-elves kings, stewards, etc. of all the kingdoms by any means possible.
    Step 4. ?????
    Step 5. Profit!
    >> Anonymous 01/30/12(Mon)21:42 No.17742519

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