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Sorry, you lost me at "cutting his own hand."
Actual That Guy story:
>Playing Pathfinder at local game store, between groups
>Roll up elf thief, CG
>Other players include dwarf paladin, tiefling wizard, and dwarf cleric
>Ready to play
>"Hold on, we're waiting for my friend to show up."
>Wait half an hour, getting bored, DM won't budge or let us start without the guy
>Eventually in walks this land-whale, has to be around 280 or something, wearing cargo pants with marinara stains and a sporting a bloatee
>I can see the grease on his glasses from like ten feet away, thick like vaseline
>Immediately settles down like he owns the table, takes a swig from a bottle of soda, and belches
>"Awright, I'm playing a human barbarian, and I'm going to be party leader, and if you don't like it you can walk."
>Considering walking, but wanted to see where this goes
>Endure about an hour of gay jokes ("Hurr hurr you're an elf, you should know what it's like to take it up the ass"), him ordering our party around like his own personal servants, hoarding the best items, and flat-out lying to us about stupid shit.
>DM encouraging it, lets it slip these two have been gaming together for a while, starts telling us great stories of this guy's barbarian and how we should be honored to play with a "veteran."
>Everybody else taking it. Am I going to? FUCK NO.
>"Alright, I'm out. Fuck you and your game."
>Slam book closed, toss away character sheet, leave
>Haven't returned to store since
Not exactly the most interesting story, but damn, it boils my blood just remembering it.