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  • File : 1322693869.jpg-(35 KB, 355x433, its-heresy-time.jpg)
    35 KB Warhammer 40k: Extra Heresy Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)17:57 No.17067317  
    In the grim darkness of the future, there is only war… and sweet xeno love.

    >Its a /tg/ flavor CYOA because I'm a bored writefag

    You are Inquisitor Maximus Decarus, feared by xeno and heretic alike. You leave fried Orks and charred Eldar in the wake of your fleet’s exterminates as you sail about the stars in the Emperors name.

    Haha, just kidding, you are Max Decarus, lowly trooper in the Emprah’s imperial guard. Orks don’t seem to notice your lasgun and the last Eldar you saw wiped out half of your squad and insulted your mother.

    You were just a boot when your landing ship touched down on Yagis V, and you have quickly ascended nothing in rank by your heroic deeds of fleeing and being lucky enough to stay out of the Commisar’s sights.

    Today… Today isn’t much different.

    You feebly fire your glorified laser pointer in the general direction of a horde of charging Orks, you don’t need to aim, you would have to try to miss. It’s not like hitting them does much anyways.

    A Monolith appears suddenly to your left, just warped on in. From where is anyone’s guess.

    “Thank the Empruh, spess muhreens!” You hear a guardsman cry out, voice mystified with adoration.

    Sure enough, six of the Emprah’s finest waltz up behind your position, sizing up the Monolith.

    “FOR THA EMPROOOOAAAARRRR!!!” They howl simultaneously as they bound over the low barricade protecting you from shootah fire.

    The space marines charge out, waving chainswords menacingly and looking fierce. The Monolith doesn’t even move as gauss fire obliterates every last astartes. Welp…

    You have to believe the stories of the space marines are if nothing else, highly exaggerated. This is the second time you’ve seen those blue suited bastards scream litanies and charge to their doom. The first time at a Chaos Titan of all things…
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)17:59 No.17067332
         File1322693982.jpg-(33 KB, 273x135, 1319819696680.jpg)
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    “We are so fucked.” You groan as Chaos Daemons start warping in between you and the Orks. At least they have nice tits… Purple and attached to warp beasts who would enjoy little more than ripping you apart. But still, you didn’t know Daemonettes were stacked.

    A Fire Prism from out of nowhere busies itself with hammering away at your squad, as quite obviously you are the real threat here. You, huddling low and shaking in your “armor”.

    Some Fire Warriors show up and start blasting away as well, sure why the fuck not, one giant “kill some guardsmen” party…

    Hours later you somehow pull yourself from under a pile of rubble and Orks, seeing no one around.

    There is a Vox nearby, and you give it a try.

    “Guys?” you ask quietly.

    Up in the dark sky you see the Imperial Cruiser you arrived in snap in half as an Ork ship just rams on through it.


    “…” No response, just static.

    All of this because this planet was home to a power fist that for whatever reason the machine cult had been worshipping for millennia…

    Well at least the Armory is nearby, so you scrounge for some equipment.

    [ ] Kasrkin gear, pretty cool shit.

    [ ] Commisar uniform, bitches love Commisar uniforms.

    [ ] General’s regalia, we command now.

    [ ] Your equipment is already of the highest grade and graciously provided to you by the Emprah, praise him.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:04 No.17067366
    D, praise the Emprah
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:07 No.17067400
    [X] Commisar uniform, bitches love Commisar uniforms.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)18:12 No.17067444
    >also someone please help me figure out how to stop my friend from building his mary sue ultramarines army, I just got him into TT and he is killing me with this bullshit
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:23 No.17067529
    [ x] Your equipment is already of the highest grade and graciously provided to you by the Emprah, praise him.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:24 No.17067532
    show him some other chapters and tell him ultramarines are babbys first space marine chapter?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:29 No.17067554

    >[X] Commisar uniform, bitches love Commisar uniforms.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)18:34 No.17067579
    Commisar uniform.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)18:52 No.17067703
         File1322697129.jpg-(1.52 MB, 3264x1952, typhus.jpg)
    1.52 MB
    Looks like Commisar equipment it is

    Here's a picture of the Typhus from the first army I ever painted
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)18:58 No.17067739
         File1322697496.jpg-(208 KB, 729x800, Its heresy.jpg)
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    Some call me the Commisar of Love. *BLAM*

    The hat is probably the coolest thing ever, the sword and pistol are both pretty sweet, but this fucking hat, seriously.

    You are too busy flexing and posing in a mirror to notice a servo skull float up behind you.

    The skull beeps and you whirl around, flailing your new sword and busting a cap as you pop off rounds. Wu Tang Clan ain’t nuthin to fuck wit.

    “Oh, it’s just you…” You are glad no one was around to see you.

    The skull scans you and must think you really are a Commisar because it starts playing a message. You listen intently as it lays out tactical data for all the Xenos here. Interesting.

    A nearby Vox rattles out a quick message, identifying itself as a sister of battle.

    The Mechannus command is nearby as well.
    Well there isn’t much else to do, may as well check out some of these leads. Who knows, maybe you can find some help or even a way off this rock… Or get your knob slobbed, it could happen.

    [ ] Check out the Tau presence at the hot springs, supposed to be a nice place for a bath.

    [ ] Scout the Warp disturbance nearby. The Daemonettes are both sexy and terrifying.

    [ ] Try to find out where the Sisters of Battle communication is coming from. She sounded cute for a Sorita.

    [ ] Spy on what has the Orks acting so weird, you’ve never seen them like THIS.

    [ ] The Necrons are surely up to something sinister…

    [ ] Track down that group of Eldar you saw earlier, you think you spotted the shortest Farseer you’ve ever seen.

    [ ] Find the Mechanicus and see if anyone is still alive there.

    [ ] You don’t know much about Dark Eldar, but you aren’t
    exactly sure you want to know more.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:01 No.17067769
    [x] Find the Mechanicus and see if anyone is still alive there.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:02 No.17067775
    Half vote each for the orks and the eldar.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:04 No.17067792
         File1322697860.jpg-(8 KB, 247x236, 1319392692616s.jpg)
    8 KB
    [X] track down eldar
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:04 No.17067796
    dark eldar because fuck you no one ever pays attention to the dark eldar

    also I am monitoring this thread
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:06 No.17067805
    Find the SOB, commence dickings
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:07 No.17067817
    Either Daemonettes or the Sorita.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:07 No.17067818

    Sister of battle.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:10 No.17067829
    Hey soul sista, lets see those Sisters of Battle
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)19:14 No.17067864
    1+1/2 for eldar
    1 for dark eldar
    1/2 for orks
    1/2 for daemonettes
    3+1/2 for SOB
    1 for Mechanicus

    Looks like /tg/ wants the least heretical route first?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:16 No.17067877
    If by Heretical, you mean sexy, then yes.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:18 No.17067895

    Nah, fuck that. More Heresy. Go find the eldar.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:21 No.17067911
    Daemonettes, fuck the bobcuts.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)19:23 No.17067931
    Also I plan on continuing this story for a while so everyone should eventually get the heresy of their choosing
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)19:27 No.17067962
         File1322699246.png-(159 KB, 255x406, Hate.png)
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    Oh come now, they aren't that bad...
    Consider it the appetizer course, after which we will indulge in delicious, delicious heresy.
    All while wearing our bitchin new commisar uniform.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)19:28 No.17067971
         File1322699319.jpg-(41 KB, 494x700, Gaze of Judgement.jpg)
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    >SOB first, xenos later

    Many Guardsmen mistakenly believe that the Sisters of Battle are allies that can be trusted entirely. What they fail to realize is that often times a Sister is just as likely to roast you for even a whiff of heresy as they are to help you. They also have a VERY broad and often convoluted definition of heresy.

    For this reason, you approach the rhino transport with utmost caution. True, you did track the broadcast to this vehicle, but you don’t trust a Sorita unless she is far separated from the nearest incineration device.

    You clear your throat and knock on the rear hatch of the transport.

    “Sister of Battle, this is Commisar Decarus, are you in there?”
    A jet of fire almost engulfs you, missing by nigh more than a foot. You dive out of the way as another firing port opens right in front of your face.

    The ramp drops with a thud and a Sorita comes screaming out, chainsword roaring and fire bursting all around her.

    Only after several moments does she slow to a stop, gazing around hawkishly, as her flamer dies down.

    “Am I still alive?” You ask, having ducked and covered as you had learned to do.

    Her eyes snap to you and you feel them burning as hot as her flamer, as though boring into your very being. You know she is eyeing you for any glimpse of heresy, you pray she doesn’t pick up on any. If she does, you might be lucky enough to garner a quick death via chansword rather than a drawn out burning ordeal. Though likely not.

    Roll 1-20 for luck.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:30 No.17067990
    rolled 3 = 3

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:32 No.17068000
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:33 No.17068010
    rolled 19 = 19

    i fancy my odds
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:34 No.17068016
    rolled 8 = 8

    summary execution

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:34 No.17068020
    You motherfuck
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:38 No.17068043
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:39 No.17068053
    rolled 13 = 13


    Are these rolls going to be averaged or are we just fucked?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)19:39 No.17068057

    >oh Max, we barely knew thee

    "We purge with righteous zeal!"

    Her flamer crackles to life, and you have not time to dodge, or do anything really, before the barrel is staring you in the face.

    You never thought you would go out like this, a choppa to the face maybe, but not a Sorita making guardsman toast.

    The jet of fire engulfs you, the white hot heat searing away your flesh from bone. The pain is excruciating as you are roasted alive. You try to scream, but nothing emerges as liquid flame pours into your lungs.

    Your body falls to the ground, charred and broken. Your last thoughts are of home…
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)19:39 No.17068058
    rolled 10 = 10

    Two 19s outweight one 3 and 8. We're doing fine.
    Now that I've said that, let's hope my roll doesn't bomb.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:40 No.17068065
    no idea

    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)19:41 No.17068072
         File1322700114.jpg-(104 KB, 512x512, what.jpg)
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    rolled 12 = 12

    >Not one, but two 19's.
    >Picks the 3.
    >Never said anything about rolling order, or first rolls.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:41 No.17068073
    bad end

    *inserts another coin*
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:43 No.17068080
    Get out of here, faggot.
    TVtropes is not welcome here.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:43 No.17068088
    i loled heartly
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:44 No.17068092

    WELP, gg everyone. Also, SoB guy from >>17067962? Fuck you, fuck you right in the ear.

    Not that the other options would have ended any better, but still.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)19:45 No.17068100
         File1322700306.jpg-(168 KB, 800x800, 492925 - Warhammer_40k commiss(...).jpg)
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    >trolled hard

    “Die heretic!”

    “No fuck you you crazy bolter bitch, I’m not a heretiiicccccc!!!” You howl as you dodge yet another slash of her chainsword.

    She’s fast, too fast, and in her armor far stronger than you are.

    The sword comes back around just after you dodged, you don’t have time to avoid it this time. You throw up your hands in some kind of pitiful defense.

    The roaring implement of demise slashes down toward you, is this it? Is this how you end up? Cut to pieces on some xeno world by a cute but slightly crazy “ally”?

    An instant before the chainsword crashes home into your soft, fleshy frame, a blinding golden light flashes. The chainsword flys out of the Sorita’s hand and lands in the dirt yards away.

    She blinks at you, clearly in shock.

    “It must be a sign…” She whispers, and she kneels in quick prayer.

    You get up off the ground and dust off your hat. You aren’t sure what happened, but if it hadn’t you would be dead. In the flash of light, you swear you glimpsed a golden pauldron of some kind. But that isn’t possible, you must have just been seeing things.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:48 No.17068113
    what the fuck you crazy bitch? cant you see the hat?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)19:48 No.17068117
    rolled 2 = 2

    Well, at that point, it was already decided on SoB, at 3 and 1/2 votes for them, to everyone else's 1 and 1/2 or less.

    I was just trying to look on the brightside. I didn't know that this was going to happen.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:52 No.17068140
    rolled 8 = 8

    Cuntpunch the bitch
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)19:54 No.17068147
    rolled 15 = 15

    .... Not sure if I should be annoyed, pleased or both.. So see the reaction image for:
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:55 No.17068156
    rolled 11 = 11


    fist vs. ceramite plating yeah have fun with that

    we show her how free of taint we are and strip, clearly the human form naked is the best way to tell we're not tainted by heresy
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)19:57 No.17068164
    You squirm a bit under her gaze, which doesn’t let up as her face draws ever closer…

    “Hmph, something saved you today, the Emprah must be watching over you. Still, I can’t ignore such an obvious sign.”
    She sets down her weapons and takes a seat on a piece of rubble, sighing as she does so.

    You can’t help but notice, even for a Sorita, she is really damn cute. She sports a shorter cut of the Sister’s standard white hair, though with the addition of a small purity seal hair pin. Her face is smooth, and she sports a small inqusitiorial tattoo under her left eye, which is blue. You notice her right eye, in comparison, is green.

    Admittedly however, you have a hard time concentrating on any of these details. After all, you’ve never been this close to a Sorita, especially one with such massive sweater squiggies, who also tried to kill you. Emprah be praised, sometimes this grim and dark universe offers a brief reprieve of bliss. Though the grimdark of the fact you almost got flayed still has you pretty shaken up.

    “S-s-s-so, w-w-w-what are you doing here?” Your voice is shaky, must be the adrenaline.

    You sit down and put your hat on your lap to cover up your massive erection, must be the adrenaline, maybe.

    She looks you over again before answering, the steel in her eyes still very apparent. She doesn’t trust you, and you can’t exactly blame her. Golden flashes of light and all.

    “I got separated from my sisters when the Chaos Marines hit our position, the defiler they brought with them overwhelmed our zeal, we clearly were not faithful enough.”

    She looks at her hands dejectedly, as though disgusted with herself.

    [ ] Try to comfort her, see if you can help her find her sisters

    [ ] See if she knows what in Terra is going on and how
    screwed you are

    [ ] Inquire about whatever the fuck saved your punk ass

    [ ] Cunt punt
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)19:59 No.17068178
    See if she knows what in Terra is going on and how
    screwed you are
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:00 No.17068182
    [x] cunt punt
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:00 No.17068184
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:00 No.17068185

    Yeah, second option. Cunt punchan can come later.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)20:00 No.17068191
    rolled 9 = 9

    Well, considering all of the various options have a risk of catastrophic failure... let's go with the one that makes us look good.

    [X] Try to comfort her, see if you can help her find her sisters
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:02 No.17068200
    rolled 4, 3 = 7

    [x] See if she knows what in Terra is going on and how screwed you are
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:02 No.17068202
    [X] Try to comfort her, see if you can help her find her sisters

    cuntpunt later
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:04 No.17068212
    rolled 12 = 12

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:05 No.17068215
    As a commissar, we are the final word on the worth of a Soldier of the Imperium. Comfort this bitch and tell her "Fear not - the Emprah has spared your life and thus, has greater plans for you. He brought us together for a reason - we must work together to do the Emprah's will."
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:06 No.17068218
    [X] Try to comfort her, see if you can help her find her sisters

    then we can rape/cuntpunch
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:08 No.17068229
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:08 No.17068230
    rolled 5 = 5

    Option 2
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:09 No.17068240
    She nearly fucking killed us, bitch needs punishment.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:09 No.17068243
    AKA Cuntpunt if you didn't catch my drift.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:10 No.17068251
    rolled 9 = 9

    >Captcha: town iernenta
    Let's go to town on her iernenta, which is probably High Gothic for vagina.
    >> Sweater Squiggies? =D Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:13 No.17068265
    It's obnoxious 40K cliche quest. I love it.
    This is awesome, and you should feel awesome OP.

    [x] cunt punt

    Time to do the wrong thing.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)20:14 No.17068273
    ... You guys really want to try and physically hurt a highly psychotic women in power armor, who nearly killed us?

    Barehanded and without any aid, I might add?
    You're all suicidal aren't you?
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:15 No.17068287
    rolled 8 = 8

    She's a woman, a knee or fist to the vagina will disable her.
    Also, fuck her, we got sweet Commissar digs.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:16 No.17068296
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:17 No.17068301
    I believe we're trying to achieve maximum lulz, as taking things seriously is probably not OP's intention.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:18 No.17068312
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:19 No.17068324
    [ x Try to comfort her, see if you can help her find her sisters
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:19 No.17068325
    comfort her
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:20 No.17068333
    Punt the Cunt, also hurry up OP.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:21 No.17068341
    envoke the wraith of the emperor on here cunt
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)20:24 No.17068357
    “Do you have any idea what in the name of the Emprah is happening here? I mean, how many of our forces are left, how screwed are we?” You ask, placing the hat back on your head.

    She looks back at you and shrugs.

    “You probably know most of it. Our troops are scattered at best, the guard is more or less wiped out, and the space marines… well…” she trails off, looking annoyed.

    “Did they charge another Titan and or Monolith?”

    “A Knarloc…” She says through her double facepalm.

    Your foot feels itchy and restless, you rub at it through your boot absent mindedly.

    “So what your trying to tell me, is we are pretty screwed?”
    She shrugs in her armor, lowering her hands.

    “The guard and astartes perhaps, but I know my Sisters are alive and bolstering their strength, I just know it!” She suddenly looks hopeful, the fire back in her eyes.

    It’s not like you have much going on anyway.

    “Want me to help you find them, your sisters I mean? I’m sure they are just fine.”

    She stands up and walks over to you, placing one of her gauntleted hands on your shoulder.

    “I’m glad to hear it, I’ll accept your help Commisar.” She beams at you before slowly looking away, averting her eyes.

    You notice she is blushing a bit as she rubs her lip with a finger.

    “…and I’m sorry I tried to purge you.”

    You barely hear her. Your heart is pounding in your ears being this close to her. You might need to move your hat again, damn adrenaline.

    She suddenly spins around and pumps a fist.

    “All right, let us venture forth and find my Sisters!”

    The sudden change snaps you out of your dreamy state.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:24 No.17068358

    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)20:24 No.17068360
    Yes, but we're trying to get some Warhams Poontang along the way.

    Unless this Sister has a...

    Wait... No... go right on ahead. I think I can see where this is going to go.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)20:25 No.17068363
    “Huzzzzah!” you yell as you drive your boot into her backside
    She yelps in surprise and spins around, glaring at you, teeth bared in rage.

    “That’s for trying to flay me without even having a POSSIBLE REASON as to why I was somehow a heretic.” You shout at her.

    Her temper briefly flares but suddenly subsides and she nods.

    “I’ve rightly earned that, perhaps my zeal was… ah… too hot this day.”

    “Damn right it was…” You mutter as you cross your arms.
    “Anyways, where exactly are we headed?” You ask.
    She looks at you quizzically.

    “I thought perhaps you knew, Commissar. As the Emperor’s hand seems to rest on your shoulder this day.”
    You don’t say anything, it’s evident neither of you have any idea where to go.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:26 No.17068367
    rolled 18 = 18

    What the fuck? Where's the cuntpunting?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)20:27 No.17068389
    rolled 7 = 7

    Look up one.

    Now... We go... *points randomly* That way.
    1-100. 1-25 North, 26-50, South, 51-75 East, 76-100 West.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)20:28 No.17068394
    [ ] “This way, dear Sorita.” Lead her off to the north, may as well go SOMEWHERE

    [ ] “I really have no idea where to go, I’m just as lost as you.”

    [ ] “We must spin for direction, it is the only whey.”
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:28 No.17068396
    rolled 5 = 5

    That's it? I was expecting, y'know, pain, clutching, falling to the floor etc.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:29 No.17068405
    Lord Inquisitor Cap-T-Cha says we go to tsngto systems. QUICKLY!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:30 No.17068412
    point in a random direction and proceed with full confidence

    or option 3
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:31 No.17068416
    [x ] “We must spin for direction, it is the only whey.”
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:33 No.17068430
    >You feebly fire your glorified laser pointer
    you know despite it's suck ass stats lasguns kill.
    i don't know how but i saw some videos and also others wrote it, lasguns fucking murder.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:35 No.17068437
    >leather boot
    >armored ass of a warrior girl

    we are just lucky she didnt try to fry us again. we got lucky to get away once
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:38 No.17068459

    ( [x ] “We must spin for direction, it is the only whey.” )
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:39 No.17068461

    Spin for direction, the Emprah will guide us.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:41 No.17068473
    [x] Emprah will show us his holy path.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:41 No.17068476
    [x] “We must spin for direction, it is the only whey.”
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)20:47 No.17068516
    "Grab my hand and spin with me sister!" You yell, outstretching your hand toward her.

    "Wh-what?" She asks, taking a step back and perhaps re-evaluating your level of heresy.

    You dive in and snatch her hand, pulling her in close to you. Your eyes meet and in that moment of primordial passion you begin to spin.

    Faster and faster you go, where you'll wind up nobody knows.

    Roll 1-100
    Highest roll determines N-S-E-W direction
    Tzneetch is watching this thread, bonus for a roll of 66 or 100
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:48 No.17068522
    rolled 70 = 70

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:48 No.17068523
    rolled 91 = 91

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)20:49 No.17068533
    I have to go grab my truck out of storage to brave the Michigan winter tomorrow, but I shall return swiftly with gifts and blessings for all
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:49 No.17068534
    rolled 21 = 21

    and i meant to say north

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:50 No.17068540
    rolled 51 = 51

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:51 No.17068547
    am i the only one who hates the bolter bitches?
    women don't belong to the sacred field of battle.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)20:52 No.17068553
    rolled 20 = 20

    Rolling. Lets see what'll happen.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:53 No.17068562
    rolled 41 = 41

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:53 No.17068563
    rolled 13 = 13

    You spin me right 'round baby right round...
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:53 No.17068564
    rolled 92 = 92


    >captcha: Derldedu Possibly, yes captcha I believe it's in that direction as well
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)20:57 No.17068594
    rolled 95 = 95

    Herp derp. Forgot to put in a direction.

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)20:58 No.17068598
    rolled 59 = 59

    just as planned
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:00 No.17068621
    rolled 83 = 83

    Dammit, we need to go west, I can feel it!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:02 No.17068633
    rolled 28 = 28

    the raven guides our roll

    to the north
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)21:03 No.17068644
         File1322704995.png-(527 KB, 704x400, Just as planned.png)
    527 KB
    The Dice seem to disagree.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:04 No.17068652
    rolled 22 = 22

    Downwards, to the subterranean caves we are standing over.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:07 No.17068678
    rolled 41 = 41

    to the air
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:08 No.17068685
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:08 No.17068686
    Forgot dice
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:10 No.17068700
    rolled 98 = 98

    ill roll for you
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:12 No.17068713
    rolled 70 = 70

    Let's dance until we make a hole in the earth to emprah's path !
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:13 No.17068722
    Sorry, I'm new to TG
    Also I'm retarded.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:17 No.17068753
    rolled 4 = 4

    it's dice+XdY
    X = no. of dice
    Y = numbers possible to roll (0-Y)
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:18 No.17068762
    rolled 1 = 1

    The sky's the limit.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:19 No.17068776
    Damn, I failed quite hard right here...
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:20 No.17068780
    rolled 41 = 41

    apparently not for you

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)21:59 No.17069056
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)22:10 No.17069132
    >Critical failure.

    "TO THE SKIES!" You bellow suddenly, stopping the spin.

    "Huh?" The surprised Sorita gasps.

    You pull her to a nearby Valkerie, and together you clamor inside.

    "Do you uh... Know how to drive one of these?"

    You stop pushing buttons and flipping switches to look over at her for a moment.

    "No I do not, and knowing is half the battle."

    With a lurch the Valkerie lifts off and jets away, as you cruise about the skies with impunity.

    "WERE GOING DOWNNNNN!" The sister bellows, grabbing for something to brace the impact.

    The craft slams into the pavement hard, and suddenly breaks through the ground below...
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)22:12 No.17069150
    on my mobile taking a quick break from shoveling my truck out
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)22:17 No.17069175
         File1322709443.png-(16 KB, 564x420, 1314667347427.png)
    16 KB
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)22:25 No.17069227
    At this point, I think OP is just going with whichever post amuses him the most.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)22:31 No.17069267
    nah, Droid just sucks for really doing this
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)22:32 No.17069278
         File1322710341.jpg-(54 KB, 476x555, 9400_2a8b..jpg)
    54 KB
    And this is a problem why?
    Chandroid? Also, dropped your trip.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)22:35 No.17069300

    >losing a trip

    "Are we dead?" The Sorita asks, rubbing her head.

    You feel around, you don't think you are.

    "That would be my ASS Commissar..."
    >> Servant Of The Emperor 11/30/11(Wed)22:39 No.17069334
    rolled 20 = 20

    "I think somehow, i already knew that. Think you can flick the pilot light on your flame for some light?"
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)22:40 No.17069346
    rolled 61 = 61

    And what a wonderful ass it is, I'd like to explore it further in the name of the emperor, hopefully find our commands, but first I think I need to get my concussion treated.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)22:45 No.17069400
    Note that I never said it was a problem, nor implied it.
    All I said was that was what I thought was happening.

    Honestly, if more DM's did this in quest threads, you'd get less derailing by idiots who managed to roll high on a ludicrious idea they posted. (Not saying that happened here, but it did happen in other quests, always to people's disappointment.)
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)22:50 No.17069434
    Meanwhile in the legion of doom

    "Lord Abbadon, we have completed the final preparations, we are prepared to use THAT."

    Abbadon, the embodiment of Chaos, almost allows himself to crack a smile. Soon this world w...

    A loud crash is heard overhead and Abbadon gazes up to see what caused the ruckus. A second later, the cockpit of a Valkyrie sinks down into view. Inside, a Commissar and a Sorita...
    >> Servant Of The Emperor 11/30/11(Wed)22:53 No.17069462
    rolled 13 = 13

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)22:57 No.17069500
    use all of the bullets.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)22:59 No.17069514
    rolled 10 = 10

    Seconded. With the addition of seeing if there are any escape hatches to bail out of. Preferrably ones above the surface.

    These are not the Daemons we're looking for.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)23:03 No.17069553
    "I was just looking for the instrument panel..." You lie, not sure what drove you to try to cop a feel over power armor.

    The Valkyrie sinks into the dirt and suddenly drops down into a cave below.

    And Abbadon the Despoiler is staring you in the face.

    "Oh Emprah, THRUSTERS TO MAXIMUM! LET FLY ALL GUNS" You punch the controls and slam every button you can reach.

    The Valkyrie's engines roar and the frontal guns and missiles erupt to life.

    Or they would if the power wasn't dead.

    Abbadon's companion rips open the cockpit of the ship, as Abbadon himself has no arms, and wrenches you out, holding you in his power claw. This is probably the end for you.

    The Sorita is snatched up by two other Chaos Marines in Terminator armor. This really, really doesn't look good.

    Still, there's nothing like a good blaster at your side kid.

    Roll to hit
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 11/30/11(Wed)23:06 No.17069572
    rolled 18 = 18

    ... Well here goes nothing. 1d20 rolling.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:06 No.17069573
    rolled 71 = 71

    Firan' mah laser.
    >> Servant Of The Emperor 11/30/11(Wed)23:07 No.17069588
    rolled 10 = 10

    What are we even trying to roll?
    I've been rolling d20s and rolled rather well, i rolled a nat 20 and suddenly im face to face with a warmaster!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)23:10 No.17069618
    sorry, d20 will be the standard.

    You there, Librarian, roll to wound
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)23:18 No.17069676
    Or SOMEONE roll to wound anyways
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:20 No.17069687
    rolled 14 = 14

    ON IT.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:20 No.17069688
    rolled 10 = 10

    to move things along
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:25 No.17069720
    rolled 17 = 17

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)23:27 No.17069746
    The Chaos Marines are too busy cackling madly to notice you slipping your laspistol out of its holster.

    "Its Blamming time!"

    Your first shot hits the one holding you under the jaw, and at point blank range there is nothing to save him. The power claw goes slack and he drops you to the ground as his corpse falls backwards.

    With excellent accuracy you headshot one of the Terminators holding your Sorita friend, and he fudges his save and dies because fuck him. The other one drops the sisters arm and runs.

    "Nooooo, noooooo!!! Seize them! Seize theemmmmm!!!" Abbadon howls after you as you grab the Sorita's arm and break into a run.

    [ ] Deeper into the cave

    [ ] Into the Valkyrie, by the Emprah himself that machine spirit will quit being a lazy cunt and FLY.

    [ ] Right at Abbadon, let him taste the steel of your sword.
    >> Fireman Prime 11/30/11(Wed)23:29 No.17069764
    rolled 7 = 7

    Into the cave! Into the cave!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:29 No.17069765
    [X] Into the Valkyrie, by the Emprah himself that machine spirit will quit being a lazy cunt and FLY.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:30 No.17069771

    Attack Abbadon, since we all know he can't strike back due to his lack of arms.
    >> Servant Of The Emperor 11/30/11(Wed)23:30 No.17069772
    rolled 20 = 20

    Stike down Abaddon!
    He's completely 'Armless right now anyway
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:31 No.17069779
    [X] Into the Valkyrie! We'll get this damn thing flying! Or at least get the sister her flamer.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:35 No.17069822
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:36 No.17069834
    [x] Right at Abaddon, let him taste the steel of your sword.

    I've always wanted someone to give me their culinary opinion on my blade of choice.
    >> Iron Lung 11/30/11(Wed)23:36 No.17069835
    >>he fudges his save and dies because fuck him

    Life's a bitch, and then you've only got one wound.

    [X] Right at Abbadon, let him taste the steel of your sword.
    Because I hate his hair, and that topknot would make a great trophy.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:36 No.17069844
    rolled 15 = 15

    At Abbadon, our furious zeal will carry us through, plus hopefully impress the sister enough to let us into her carapace.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)23:38 No.17069853

    "Abbadon, your reign of heresy ends TODAY!"

    You draw your sword and ready yourself, steeling your nerves for what you are about to do.

    Wait are you about to attack fucking Abbadon THE DESPOILER?

    Too late, your legs are already moving, propelling you at full force right at the embodiment of heresy.

    "Commissar no!" You hear the Sorita call out from behind you.

    This attack could well decide the fate of the Imperium as man as you know it.

    Roll for it
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:39 No.17069869
    No way I'm rolling this. I'm not being responsible for Max's death.
    >> Fireman Prime 11/30/11(Wed)23:39 No.17069875
    rolled 34 = 34

    Fine, I'll do it.
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:39 No.17069878
    rolled 6 = 6

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:40 No.17069882
    rolled 13 = 13

    My drill is the drill that will pierce the heavens, or at least your face!!!
    >> Iron Lung 11/30/11(Wed)23:40 No.17069888
    rolled 16 = 16

    I'm on this shit.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)23:42 No.17069904
    >Imperium as man as you know it.

    OF man

    1d20 friend, give er another go
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:42 No.17069909
    rolled 12 = 12

    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:44 No.17069927
    rolled 8 = 8

    you'll average them, right?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)23:45 No.17069940
         File1322714710.jpg-(44 KB, 600x450, 1318654375251.jpg)
    44 KB
    >implying I don't just go for the lowest roll

    yes I'll average them
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:47 No.17069963
    rolled 5 = 5

    By the Emperor, I must know what happens
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:48 No.17069978
    rolled 11 = 11

    Oh then I'll roll
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:49 No.17069987
    rolled 14 = 14

    Smite in his name!
    >> Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:50 No.17069993
    rolled 17 = 17


    By the Emprah, this can only end well.
    >> noko Anonymous 11/30/11(Wed)23:53 No.17070025
    rolled 3 = 3

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 11/30/11(Wed)23:56 No.17070050
    Not rolling too hot this round are ya?

    You swing with all your might, but it only slams into the side of Abbadon's exposed head and doesn't penetrate more than a millimeter.

    He reels backwards and trips over his foot, crashing onto his back. You thought about finishing him off until a horde of Chaos Marines come charging from a passage in the cave.

    "Time to go!" You yell as you grab the Sorita and throw her over your shoulder. Holy fuck she is heavy, that power armor weighs a ton. Still, you can't be a little bitch right now.

    You toss her into the passenger seat of the Valkyrie and jump in yourself. Furiously you smash and kick and scream at the controls. The Chaos Marines are close enough to start shooting now, and they do. Bolter rounds slam into the hull of the vehicle all around you.

    "By the Empruh you will start this day!" You scream as you shoot the instrument panel.

    The machine spirit reluctantly gives and the craft shudders to life. Wasting no time you throw it in R and hit max throttle.

    "I'll get you next time Commissar! NEXT TIME!!!!" Abbadon howls at you, shaking his fist in rage, if he had one.

    With a terrible screech the craft throws itself backwards out of the hole and soars ass-first into the sky.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:00 No.17070076
         File1322715619.jpg-(221 KB, 731x1000, 1322020783298.jpg)
    221 KB
    This is almost too funny to picture.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:03 No.17070107
    >And I would of gotten away with it to, if it wern't for that meddling Commisar and his mangy Sorita!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:06 No.17070124
         File1322715976.jpg-(13 KB, 400x297, dr-claw.jpg)
    13 KB
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:11 No.17070166
    rolled 6 = 6

    That's Scooby Doo, OP was referencing Inspector Gadget.
    >> Commisorial Hat 12/01/11(Thu)00:12 No.17070172
    rolled 15 = 15

    Where is this going?
    Lets fly west like that one anon said before.

    >1642 hatword
    captcha is telling me, I'm speaking for the hat?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:14 No.17070186
    I apologize, my liege! I shall commit suicide immediately for my transgressions against the emprah.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:18 No.17070221
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)00:23 No.17070255

    You guys get it.

    While its true you did manage to put this punk machine spirit in its place, it is also true that you still don't know how to fly this damn thing.

    Worse yet, the engines are losing power and the control panel is flashing on and off.

    This bird is going down, the question is, where?

    "Hey, since we might die when you try to land this thing, whats your name?" The Sorita looks over to you and asks.

    You look away from the instrument panel momentarily.

    "Its Max, not sure why you want to know a silly thing like that."

    She looks away.

    "Max..." She says softly.

    "And how about you, what can I call you?"

    Her gaze snaps back to you.

    "Lycheria. Sister Lycheria."

    The left engine flames out, looks like this is going to be another hard landing.

    [ ] Roof of some unknown manifactorum

    [ ] As close to what looks like an abandoned transport truck as you can get.

    [ ] The wide open field to the west.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:24 No.17070267
    rolled 6 = 6


    [x] Roof of some unknown manifactorum
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:28 No.17070290
    rolled 10 = 10

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:29 No.17070300
    Sounds like a plan.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:29 No.17070302
         File1322717373.png-(5 KB, 219x168, 1302827469256.png)
    5 KB
    [x] Roof of some unknown manifactorum
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:35 No.17070328
    {x}Roof of some unknown manufactorum
    Don't think we've seen nids yet. Maybe there'll be genestealers
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:36 No.17070339
    Roof malfunction
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:42 No.17070396
    rolled 18 = 18

    I say that we need more heresy.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:45 No.17070429
    [ X ] The wide open field to the west.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)00:49 No.17070455
    The roof of the manifactorum is underneath you, and though it is quite an impressively large structure, you do question your own landing skills.

    The Valkyrie shudders and bucks as its last remaining engine struggles to keep the craft stable. Wind whips though the now exposed cockpit.

    "Hey!" The Sorita yells over the din.

    "If this is the end for us, I just wanted to let you know, I was glad to meet you Max." She finishes with a small smile.

    The sight give you a bit of confidence (+1 to all rolls), but still, the task before you is daunting.

    "Here goes nothing right?" You grip the controls hard.

    The ship is coming in to hot, but there is little more you can do than try to hold her steady, hope the roof holds, and hope you don't go skidding off of it and crash into the ground far below the building.

    Here's the big one /tg/entlemen, going to need some good rolls here.

    I will probably make a 2nd thread tomorrow and you can have another crack at some heresy then. If by heresy you mean xeno girls.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:50 No.17070462
    rolled 19 = 19

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)00:55 No.17070504
    rolled 14 = 14


    >implying there are other kinds of heresy
    >other IMPORTANT kinds of heresy anyway
    >> Iron Lung 12/01/11(Thu)01:06 No.17070567
    rolled 7 = 7

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)01:08 No.17070579
    With some kind of deft skill you must have latently been concealing up until this point, you actually manage to set the Valkyrie down fairly lightly for a flaming hunk of fire and hate.
    When the craft finally skids to a stop and the painful screaming subsides, you open your eyes.

    “Do stop screaming will you…” Lycheria asks, looking at you dubiously.

    You lay back in your seat and wipe the sweat off your face. Yesterday you were stealing extra rations from the barracks, today you’ve fought off one of the Imperium’s greatest foes, landed a ship you didn’t know how to fly, and actually lived to tell the tale.

    Lycheria gets up and stretches, her curvy frame filling up your view against a backdrop of sky.

    “What’s the matter?” She tilts her head back to look at you playfully.

    “Carnifex got your tongue?”

    You smile, but your vision is getting hazy. You try to get up and find that you can’t. Looking down, you see why.

    A piece of shrapnel from the shredded canopy has annoyingly lodged itself in your chest. Blood drips down from the wound.

    Lycheria’s face goes white-er, as she notices the wound. She rushes over to you quickly and pulls apart your clothing to get a better look at the wound.

    “Its… Its serious, but nothing you can’t survive.” She pulls you to your feet.

    “We’re going to go find you some help, get you patched up. By the Emperor’s holy codpiece you had better not die on me.”
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)01:11 No.17070595
    As she pulls you up, the shrapnel falls out of the wound. What looked like a piercing blow by a large shard is little more than a flesh wound. Both of you stop dead.
    Until Lycheria smacks you across the head.

    “You bastard I was actually worried about you there!” She screams frantically.

    And before you know it, her lips are pressed to yours. They are disarmingly soft, you don’t know why you had always assumed a Sorita’s outside would be tough, but it isn’t. The feeling is blissful, and you don’t want it to end.

    “Sorry, but I think I do have a concussion…” You mumble.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:15 No.17070623
    May whatever god/s you praise bless you for the joy you've brought me this evening.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)01:19 No.17070651
    Looks like /tg/ is turning in for the night? Might call it good on the Sister's arc for today. But fear not, you'll get the chance to pick her again.

    >or you could try rolling to seduce...
    >> Iron Lung 12/01/11(Thu)01:21 No.17070664
    rolled 1 = 1

    >> Iron Lung 12/01/11(Thu)01:23 No.17070683
         File1322720625.png-(17 KB, 475x375, SMITE.png)
    17 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    Now THAT is a /tg/ Seduction roll.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:24 No.17070687

    Aaaaaaaaaand now is a good time to stop things. Before we get our junk blown off.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)01:25 No.17070691
    >get a shot at a seduction roll
    >roll a 1

    oh you
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:26 No.17070701
         File1322720776.jpg-(162 KB, 1024x768, AwesomeThread.jpg)
    162 KB
    This might be the greatest thread ever!

    God Bless OP!
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)01:27 No.17070707
    Should I upload this to 1d4chan or something so people could catch up if they come in for tomorrow's thread?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:28 No.17070715
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:28 No.17070717
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:28 No.17070720
    rolled 2 = 2

    sup/tg/ will do fine.

    What do you want to call the quest?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:28 No.17070727
    rolled 4 = 4

    holy shit, i'm retarded.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:30 No.17070736
    rolled 7 = 7

    Commissar Lovin' Quest. For that is what we're to do.

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:34 No.17070748
    rolled 4 = 4

    Love can bloom!
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:36 No.17070765
         File1322721401.png-(121 KB, 500x500, WUHYYYYYYYYYYY.png)
    121 KB
    So basically the whole premise is a Ciaphas Cain knock-off CYOA.

    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)01:37 No.17070769
    Eh, doesn't matter to me. Extra heresy was the posting title for it, Heretical Love is what I've been writing up the ideas as before posting the start of it here.

    Also I've never been on or used Sup/tg/, so how does it work?


    Guess no one wanted to seduce that bolter bitch, better luck with her next time perhaps.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)01:39 No.17070781
    Don't worry friend, lurk around 1-2pm ish eastern time tomorrow for the next installment.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:39 No.17070782
    >implying anybody would have a shot of seducing a sororitas except another sororitas
    I don't even know why we tried
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:41 No.17070786
    rolled 20 = 20

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:42 No.17070793

    Well someone has the right idea, just a tad late.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:43 No.17070800
    rolled 5 = 5

    Heretical Love it is, and sup/tg/ is easy

    you place the thread number in the box, add a title, and have your tags separated by commas, viola you've archived a thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:50 No.17070823
    rolled 3 = 3


    Of course despite saying how easy it was I still failed miserably, forgetting to include the quest name in the tags for ease of searching.

    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)01:53 No.17070840
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)01:55 No.17070853
    >Maximus Decarus the last surviving member of his guardsman unit, must survive, and potentially prosper (in the coin of delicious xenos ass) in a world seemingly out to kill him off specifically.


    and because of natural critical failure...

    “Well we will just have to get that treated, but you should be fine in the meantime. I’ll bandage up your wound though.”
    Lycheria grabs the medkit out of the husk of the Valkyrie and pops it open.

    She tries unsuccessfully to open some packages and then sighs.

    “Power armor, good for many things, detail work not being one.”

    Her armor disengages itself and she begins to remove it. You’ve never seen a Sister or astartes remove their armor, it’s pretty interesting. Especially the part where her breastplate falls forward and her tits bounce from the release, though still hidden in a tight sports bra. (+1 as needed to contain tits of this magnitude.)

    She suddenly notices your eyes, and possibly the strand of drool leading to quite a puddle on the roof.

    “Like what you see, Commissar?”

    Your taken aback by the question. If you say yes, will she kill you or unlock full dere mode? Fucking women how do they work?
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)01:59 No.17070867
    “…And if perhaps, I do?” You inquire.

    She picks you up by your collar and pulls you close, you can feel her hot breath on your face.

    “Then, Max, you had better be willing to see it through to the end.”

    Her lips meet yours again, a reunion that sets the sky alight with color and causes strange xeno birds to sing their song of triumph.

    Her breasts, though caged in her tight clothing and begging to be set free, smoosh themselves into your chest. Heaven, this is HEAVEN. The Emperor himself bro-fists you from the golden throne.

    “Sister Lycheria, is that you?” A voice calls out from the side of the building.

    Lycheria lets you go and whirls around.

    “Sister Candis, is that you!?” She cries out joyfully.

    “Indeed it is, come over here and we will get you off the roof.” The other sister yells back.

    Your first chance at some sweet warrior-girl-from-space action and you get cockblocked HARD. Go figure...

    >and I'm done writefagging for the night but I'll lurk around if anyone has a question/whatever. Again, 1-2pm eastern tomorrow for the 2nd thread.
    >> CrimsonAnon 12/01/11(Thu)02:00 No.17070871
    rolled 9, 4 = 13



    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)02:01 No.17070873
    rolled 12 = 12

    We need to recruit a wingman ASAP. Is our guard unit completely confirmed KIA?
    >> CrimsonAnon 12/01/11(Thu)02:01 No.17070874
    rolled 10 = 10


    Welp. Wrong Roll
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)02:03 No.17070890
    Guard unit is toast but I've been thinking up a wingman thread but I'm not spoiling it.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)02:10 No.17070916
    well there's the Mechanicus
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)02:30 No.17070983

    Sexual Instructions for Techpriests:

    1. Chant the Litany of Bitches
    2. Anoint the mechanicock with the holy oils
    3. Engage the lever and ignite your piston
    4. Sing praise to the Omnissiah
    >> Iron Lung 12/01/11(Thu)02:36 No.17071003
    rolled 13 = 13

    I have it.
    We shall have a TAU Wingman!
    Who better?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)02:40 No.17071015
    rolled 12 = 12

    Quite Heretical.

    I like it.

    Why do I have a feeling we're going to go Rogue Trader or Inquisitor and have some sort badass retinue instead of staying a Commissar?
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)02:41 No.17071019

    That...actually doesn't sound too bad. We're already going to have heresies by the dozens, if all goes according to plan. So why not?

    Good idea negative pressure ventilator.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)02:47 No.17071035
    God damn it I've already written up the Tau girl and some of he wingman shit but that does sound pretty awesome now that I think about it.

    gee Bill, TWO wingmen? It can't be helped

    >Why do I have a feeling we're going to go Rogue Trader or Inquisitor and have some sort badass retinue instead of staying a Commissar?

    I like your style friend
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)02:52 No.17071046
    rolled 12 = 12

    Please - Wingmen will be necessary to prepare us for the most glorious of heresies. We will commandeer the Valkyrie and use it as our ship till we can get a better vehicle and then Max shall be interstellar pimp, picking up xeno after xeno and showing them the glory of the Emprah.
    >> Papa-N !!94V8GGifJkU 12/01/11(Thu)03:06 No.17071088
    the Valkyrie is toast but I do like the idea of a Tau wingman for our retinue so that will happen
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)03:21 No.17071132
    TWO Tau wingmen! I mean, a wingman and a wingwoman. One is Wing, the other Wong!
    . . .
    Emperordamnit, that works.

    Also, I hope the Manufactorium/Munitiorum/whatevarium got the Admech techpriestess... The almost hereTEKally fleshy techpriestess from circle A's pic.
    >> Anonymous 12/01/11(Thu)08:11 No.17072159
    dont mind me just testing something

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