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  • File : 1318210721.png-(1.16 MB, 1920x1440, 1307372701270.png)
    1.16 MB INFLUENCE EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)21:38 No.16574667  
    You are a sentient magical item in the making.

    What are you?

    (Highest d100 roll is used.)
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:40 No.16574687
    rolled 8 = 8

    breast pump.

    serious: coin equivalent to a penny
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:41 No.16574695
    rolled 54 = 54

    Nose Ring
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:41 No.16574696
    rolled 4 = 4

    baby carriage
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:41 No.16574699
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:41 No.16574701
    Do you want serious or silly suggestions?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:42 No.16574705
         File1318210939.jpg-(40 KB, 550x438, 88_uk.jpg)
    40 KB
    rolled 70 = 70

    88mm flak cannon.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:42 No.16574706
    rolled 65 = 65

    printing press
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:42 No.16574708
    rolled 45 = 45

    A battle-axe forged in ice and tempered in tears.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:42 No.16574710
    rolled 77 = 77

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:42 No.16574711
    rolled 34 = 34

    Codpiece of a magical suit of armor
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:42 No.16574712
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:42 No.16574718
    rolled 64 = 64

    An ancient silver coin.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:43 No.16574719
    rolled 82 = 82

    tattoo gun
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:43 No.16574720
    rolled 13 = 13

    fuck I missed
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:43 No.16574721
    rolled 88 = 88

    Oh god THIS
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:43 No.16574723
    rolled 92 = 92

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:43 No.16574726
    rolled 95 = 95

    Sword of Rusting Grasp
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:44 No.16574727
    >rolled 88 = 88

    I like the way you roll.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:44 No.16574731
    rolled 35 = 35

    A cape
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:44 No.16574735
    rolled 48 = 48

    I change my vote to a 88 cm flak cannon
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:46 No.16574744
    rolled 30 = 30

    sentient socks
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:47 No.16574750
    rolled 21 = 21

    88 cm flak cannon
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:47 No.16574754
    rolled 14 = 14

    An unimportant-looking dagger
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:48 No.16574765
    rolled 59 = 59

    Gonna have to vote Flak cannon.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:48 No.16574766
    rolled 40 = 40

    A sentient, magical gorget.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:49 No.16574775
    rolled 25 = 25


    Rollin for flak cannon
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)21:49 No.16574776
    ((Please stop rolling while I type up the next creation segment.))
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:49 No.16574779
    rolled 32 = 32

    A pair of goggles
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:51 No.16574793
    YEAH, we're getting a cannon boys!
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:51 No.16574794
         File1318211487.jpg-(51 KB, 500x375, planescape-torment_armoire.jpg)
    51 KB
    rolled 99 = 99

    There is only one correct answer to OP. You are an armoire.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:52 No.16574798
    haha, dice agree with me. beat that motherfuckers
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)21:54 No.16574813
         File1318211643.jpg-(47 KB, 600x389, RustingBlade.jpg)
    47 KB
    You are a simple longsword - though seemingly rusted at all times, you never fall apart or even dull. In fact, some say your strokes are even more painful for the fact of your corroded surface!

    ((SPECIAL ABILITY RESERVED - Cannon-type. ))

    Please choose and roll for a special magical ability in addition to your RESERVED ability.

    ((While your enthusiasm is appreciated, rolling after the agreed stopping point brings consummate penalties. RIVAL GENERATED.))
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:55 No.16574820
    rolled 45 = 45

    Rusts other metal objects on touch.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:56 No.16574829
    rolled 89 = 89

    Infecting anyone we cut with a wasting disease where they slowly rust away.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:56 No.16574834
    rolled 17 = 17

    Turn Women as a 20th Level Nerd three times per day.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:58 No.16574845
    rolled 81 = 81

    Turns those it hits with true hearts into magical girls of justice. They now serve your in your army.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:58 No.16574848
         File1318211922.jpg-(139 KB, 1280x960, ultrasmurf seibah.jpg)
    139 KB
    Nice Command Seal OP, in return Ultramarine Saber
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)21:58 No.16574849
    rolled 38 = 38


    We degrade any surface we touch. Metal rusts and corrodes like our own body, wood disintegrates, and flesh rots.

    Also, since I vote we're a kickass evil cursed item, that effect also extends out to the hand that wields us. The man that bears us will wither away but will not die, but slowly becomes a dried out husk whose only motivating force is our own desire to spread entropic decay to everything.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:00 No.16574860
    rolled 50 = 50

    Becomes stronger with every piece of metal it rusts
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:00 No.16574863
    rolled 13 = 13

    We fly and can attack under our own power.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:01 No.16574870
    rolled 21 = 21

    the ability to turn the user into an armoire
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)22:04 No.16574881
         File1318212267.jpg-(22 KB, 667x433, EGOtistical.jpg)
    22 KB
    ((Please stop rolling now, typing next segment.))
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:04 No.16574888
    rolled 7 = 7

    The ability to turn anyone into a rust monster.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:08 No.16574917

    The armoire of invincibility!

    Bane of adventurers with bad spelling and undergarment thieves!
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)22:10 No.16574925
         File1318212614.jpg-(36 KB, 468x306, TheDisease.jpg)
    36 KB
    Your blade, mirroring the deterioration of its surface, acts to inflict the same pain upon mortal (And, some say, immortal!) flesh. Upon striking with the weapon, flesh begins to necrotize around the wound, and in hours, the limb is dead as the contaigion is carried over time to the rest of the body.

    However, like you, the afflicted never dies - in the end, they become a metallic, rusted skeleton covered in flaky skin, cursed with the same terrible pain you yourself carry.

    Roll for your cultural significance (1 is unknown to everyone, 100 is a religion-founding artifact. This does not affect power.)
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:12 No.16574939
    rolled 47 = 47

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:12 No.16574940
    rolled 57 = 57


    Here's hoping for religion.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:12 No.16574943
    rolled 12 = 12


    Sounds awesome.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:12 No.16574944
    rolled 85 = 85

    That is exactly the interpretation of that power in my head when a suggested it.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:12 No.16574945
         File1318212751.jpg-(32 KB, 296x489, lane_brookhave_armoire.jpg)
    32 KB
    rolled 90 = 90

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:13 No.16574952
    rolled 79 = 79


    Sounds awesome.

    Is our number that we roll the number you take or are we supposed to choose it ourselves?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:13 No.16574957
    rolled 34 = 34


    A religious prophet was murdered with this weapon.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:13 No.16574958
    rolled 90 = 90

    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)22:14 No.16574965
         File1318212844.jpg-(22 KB, 667x433, EGOtanacial.jpg)
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    ((Cease rolls now.))
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:21 No.16575028

    That's one happy eldtrich symbol.
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)22:28 No.16575097
         File1318213697.jpg-(56 KB, 590x394, TheTomb.jpg)
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    Once there was a kingdom to the east.

    That is all that is inscribed within your final resting place - held in place by old, strong magics meant to cage you physically and mentally. Many-layered that they were, with hundreds of backups, protections, and millions of great enchanter's circles. Your jail is a massive structure - a magic circle so great it is in fact a building in and of itself. Your tomb sits on the eastern edge of the land that defeated your wielder and sealed you forevermore - a land of paladins and mages, a mystical powerhouse that knew no equal. The mountains were raised, filled with special metals, to cut you off from your former allies in the Rusted Kingdom, as it is now known.

    Once here was a kingdom, to the east.

    Your sentience waited for years. Decades. Centuries. Mortal magic is just that - and you knew in time things would change. You just had to wait. And so you did, in the tiny sphere of darkness left to you, forever and a half. Sometimes you played mental word games to pass the time. Sometimes you imagined whole worlds. Sometimes you schemed, but none of those old schemes mattered, for the world would change before you emerged. Wars would ravage the land, kingdoms would restore it, people would die.

    (Field too long)
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:28 No.16575102
    rolled 93 = 93

    I can't wait anymore! Rolling for name.
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)22:28 No.16575106
    Once there was a kingdom, to the east.

    You have awoken. The bindings around your sentience have fallen apart.

    You can see the world again! and it is dark. Dark and grey. You remember being placed here. It was bright. Colorful, even, with attuning crystals and mighty armored gaurdians. But now...

    Dust collects on old inscribings. Creatures or men have stolen the crystals. Light peeks in between cracks in the roof, and other cages nearby have already opened, or bent, or warped.

    Your abilities are as follows:

    CANNON: The gemstone in your handle gathers kinetic energy from the movements of your 'body'. In time, you can release all of this force in one direction, like a great cannon-shell.

    RUST DISEASE: >>16574925

    EGO: Representing your force of will, EGO is a single numerical stat. It rises as you maintain control, and falls as the situation leaves your influence. You may expend it for special actions, at my discretion.

    What do you do now?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:30 No.16575124
    Can we move under our own power?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:31 No.16575136
    rolled 66 = 66

    Swear to remember the SCP Kingdom who imprisoned us and then continue to wait for a daft adventurer to come along and find us.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:32 No.16575139

    Can we like, float around or something?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:33 No.16575148
    rolled 19 = 19

    Well, if we just woke up, then the crystals must have been removed recently. Call to the poor, disenfranchised soul that did so, as any evil sword is expected to do.

    You have a kingdom to avenge.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:37 No.16575195
    rolled 62 = 62

    Wait for the next person to come then tempt them into taking you.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:38 No.16575208
    rolled 70 = 70



    We can wait for a proper host to find us. They will come eventually.
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)22:38 No.16575215
    You focus your willpower, your strength... and find the simplest wards persist. Namely, you cannot move, unless removed.

    The kingdom of Ultrex will know the pain of rust, you swear. However, to get back... You need...

    A scion.
    Yes, looking out with your mind's eye, you feel one - young. Corruptable. Pitiably weak, but there. You could call out to him - it would be no effort. But what to say? The long years have made it difficult to interact with mortals once more...
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:40 No.16575230
    rolled 30 = 30

    "Hey! Listen!"
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:41 No.16575233
    Do not call for help. COMMAND the worm to serve his master. Promise power beyond imagining, but threaten neglect with dire consequences.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:41 No.16575239
    rolled 64 = 64

    derp, forgot mah roll
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:42 No.16575247
    rolled 27 = 27

    Seconding this.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:43 No.16575258
    rolled 41 = 41

    "Why, hello there..."
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:43 No.16575263
    rolled 26 = 26


    "We can give you the power you seek. All will crumble before our might... but only if your hand is that which wields us..."

    These mortals are so easily tempted by power. Make him feel special and bait him along with our promises of glory.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:43 No.16575269
    rolled 79 = 79

    "Do you want to make a contract?"
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:45 No.16575289
    rolled 81 = 81

    Hello young one. Do not be afraid, I mean you no harm.

    My, my, you must be a desperate soul indeed to come here in search of treasure. I bet you've never known a hot meal, or a warm comfortable bed. Or, if you have, they were stolen from you!

    I could change that. We could change that! Free me, and I swear upon my peerless blade, I will make this world yours.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:46 No.16575297
    rolled 56 = 56

    seconding this.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:46 No.16575298
    rolled 28 = 28

    "Free sword! Absolutely not cursed. Double-promise."
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:47 No.16575310
    rolled 98 = 98

    "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
    a little humour might work...
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:48 No.16575322
    Of course the half-wit has to have the luck of the gods.
    >> Mayor Jim Suttle !OMAHa/k25s 10/09/11(Sun)22:48 No.16575330
         File1318214914.jpg-(275 KB, 580x707, god dammit.jpg)
    275 KB
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:48 No.16575331
         File1318214916.jpg-(39 KB, 350x406, shaun-of-the-dead.jpg)
    39 KB
    rolled 73 = 73

    Oi! Prick!
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:49 No.16575338
    rolled 14 = 14

    >> EGO SCORE: 65 EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)22:50 No.16575342
    ((I should have mentioned: Rolls will only be necessary if called for.))

    You whisper out to the young one, who comes into view. And your first reaction, unbelievably, is one of pity. The boy must be twelve - at least - but he is small enough to appear four years younger. His limbs are weak with malnourishment, his skin, where it is visible beneath the many robes and cowls, is tanned dark and rough. He reminds you, in a strange way, of yourself. he stares at you.

    "Kingdom-breaker." he mutters. "Nay, I must not touch you! You are curs-ed!" he says, staring upon you with fear. So much fear in his eyes, you notice, the way he slowly begins to step away. Such a reputation you've earned over the years...
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:50 No.16575343
    rolled 28 = 28

    Uh... Come over... wait, no, let me try again.
    Come forth, mortal, and become my champion!
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:50 No.16575345
         File1318215032.png-(72 KB, 698x658, 1294794680446.png)
    72 KB
    rolled 32 = 32

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:52 No.16575372
    rolled 76 = 76

    >The boy must be twelve

    We must be very weak indeed, for that is clearly a girl.
    What kind of sword would want to be touched by a boy all day?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:52 No.16575373
    rolled 22 = 22

    No, that's my... cousin. I'm Kingdom... uh, Kingdom-Maker, we should hang out.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:54 No.16575393
    rolled 37 = 37

    "Say, what have you been told about me?"
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:55 No.16575397
    rolled 76 = 76


    Cursed only by those who fear my power. Come now, I'm merely a sword, a tool to be used, think of what we could accomplish together.

    (Of course, the irony is that WE'RE the ones using HIM as a tool, but he doesn't need to know that yet, the peasant.)
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:57 No.16575414
    "I am not cursed more any then any other sword! Do you people really have any right to judge me? I've done nothing wrong! I did only what was commanded of me by my wielder, and for that I was vilified, locked away in this darkness for ages. Tell me boy, how long have I been here, forgotten in the dark? What year is it?

    Surly a boy like you can understand? After all, you look as though you've seen your share of dank, dark, holes."
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:57 No.16575417
    rolled 23 = 23

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:57 No.16575419
    rolled 6 = 6

    I want you to touch my cylindrical protrusion.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:57 No.16575421
    Wealth. Fame. Power. I was once wielded by the man who had acquired everything in the world. You can be that man. Everything in this world can be yours.

    If only you find the courage to wield me.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)22:58 No.16575423
    rolled 25 = 25

    "The flee coward. Go back to the filthy hovel you cam from, but remember, I'll be here waiting if you manage to scrounge up enough courage to be a man and wield me."

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:01 No.16575443
    rolled 40 = 40

    Dominate him with our EGGOS.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:02 No.16575458
    If you leave here, you'll be forever wonder what could have been.

    What could you acomplish wielding an artifact as powerful such as I am?

    WHO could you become, had you found the guts to hold me?

    So. Will you let this chance escape, or will you grasp your destiny with your own two hands?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:03 No.16575464
    rolled 64 = 64

    Oh, was I supposed to roll for that?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:04 No.16575478
    rolled 87 = 87

    I have a free chess set for the first nerd to UNLEASH ME FROM MY THRICE-DAMNED ANCIENT PRISON.
    >> EGO SCORE: 75 EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)23:04 No.16575479
    You take some time to consider your rebuttal.


    >>Cursed only by those who fear my power. Come now, I'm merely a sword, a tool to be used, think of what we could accomplish together.

    He stares at you once more, stepping forward with care.

    "You promise not to hurt me?" he asks as he approaches.

    >>Of course. We understand one another, don't we? I've been locked away for so long, in the dark, in the cold. Surely you sympathize...

    He looks around - ah, he cannot reach you, quite. he pulls aside a old chair, standing upon it precariously.

    "Then... Then I want you to swear to me. That you won't hurt me. That you'll only hurt the ones I tell you!" he says, imperiously as his platform wobbles slightly.

    >>Let me ask you: What could you acomplish wielding an artifact as powerful such as I am?

    The boy's hesitance vanishes compeltely, and he grasps your hilt.

    NEW POWER: With the wards around you broken, you may now move slowly under your own power, with enough force to pull about ten pounds. This is enough to assist the boy in combat.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:06 No.16575489
    rolled 60 = 60

    Hey, I rolled for a girl!
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:07 No.16575505
    rolled 28 = 28

    Use our EGO to turn him into a girl.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:08 No.16575512
    Tell me boy. What is your hearts desire?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:08 No.16575513
    Alas, I can not swear not to harm you, but that depends entirely on how careful you are. On touch of my blade is endless agony. But I promise not to harm you intentionally.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:09 No.16575518
    rolled 14 = 14

    Use our EGO to turn his heart's desire into being a girl.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:09 No.16575523
    Wait, OP, if I understand correctly, we can never actually KILL someone, can we? All we can do is turn them into a rusted skeleton, right?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:09 No.16575525
    Well we should leave the area before someone with actual influence comes along and realizes what we are (maybe we should replace our position with an actual rusty sword).
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:09 No.16575526
    rolled 7 = 7

    why the hell not.

    ROLLING just to see what happens
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:11 No.16575540
    "But enough about me. What about you, tell me your name and I will carve it in the heavens! State your wish and I will lend you all of my power to make it so."
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:13 No.16575553
    rolled 21 = 21


    All the rolls are being halved, we should succeed based on that.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:15 No.16575566
    You mean they're all being multiplied by 2.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:16 No.16575579
    rolled 1 = 1

    No, 28 was first, then 14, then 7. They were halved, unless this is low-rolls.
    >> EGO SCORE: 15 EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)23:18 No.16575591
    ((It all depends on your attacks - if you only cut them once, for isntance, they won't die. But if you behead someone, oh yeah.))


    You focus the power that houses your essence, in a bit of fey thought, and magics slide into the young man.

    "What... What are you doing?!"

    >>You wished to wield me, yes? Kingdom-Breaker can only be held by a woman's hand.

    "You n-never told me that!" he cries out, his voice going into a higher pitch. "S-stop! STOP!"

    >>I am sorry. Once the transformation begins...

    He drops to the ground, letting out a quiet cry of pain, which eventually cedes. He rises again.

    >>Now tell me, young lady:

    "I am not a lady! I am Diometricus!"

    >>What do you wish?

    "... I want to be rich."
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:18 No.16575595
    The dice gods seem to hate you.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:20 No.16575602
    rolled 75 = 75

    "Don't worry. If you decide to stop wielding me, I will undo the change."
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:21 No.16575611
    >"... I want to be rich."

    >Easy! Find someone rich, and kill them! Then find someone richer, and kill them too! Hack and slash your way to fortune! Whoo-hoo!!

    Don't actually say this, I just wanted to quote lilarcor.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:22 No.16575616
    rolled 61 = 61

    Don't tell her that, she'll just drop us.

    These same powers you've been inflicted with will be yours to command, this magic is but a taste of the force you now hold.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:23 No.16575622
    Well, I could suggest something based on you new condition, but that would be in poor taste. But this is an old, magic place. I'm sure were looking for something here that would make you rich beyond your wildest dreams. I'll see if I can remember any treasure vaults, shall I?"
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:24 No.16575628
    rolled 37 = 37

    Then tell him/her it's on a timer and we'll be able to undo it in two months. At the earliest.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:24 No.16575631
    "I don't know many richer than queens and princesses... But those whom I did know to hold more wealth than THAT? They were adventurers."

    Let's do this thang! Villainously quest into the Kingdom of Rust, and seize what relics lie therein from its ruins! We shall use them to acquire power in the new world we now enter!
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:26 No.16575638
    rolled 23 = 23

    Tell her she's stuck like this forever, unless she feels like hanging out with us a while more. We'll share our power with her, but certainly not so soon.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:26 No.16575642
         File1318217169.png-(761 KB, 434x626, redrustgreen1.png)
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    God as my witness, this boy shall be a queen.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:26 No.16575645
    First, let us get back to civilization. Then we'll see about making you rich. Shouldn't be too hard with our powers.

    Also, you should probably figure out how far will you go to acomplish your heart's desire.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:31 No.16575693
         File1318217498.jpg-(33 KB, 338x465, this boy.jpg)
    33 KB
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 10/09/11(Sun)23:33 No.16575711
         File1318217586.png-(421 KB, 608x900, 1315010565767.png)
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    Think of what could have been...
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)23:33 No.16575712
    >> Oh, and I can certainly change you back!


    >>Only if you give up my power, in a few months. And even then, you wouldnt be able to be rich.

    "Fine." she says, stowing you by sliding you into the straps on her back, "What do you suggest?"

    >>I've known many who are rich. But none richer than adventurers.

    "... I'm just a boy! You rexpect me to simply walk into the Kingdom of Rust and take whatever I want from the Tomb Lords?"

    >>...No. But you were brave enough to unseal me, and god knows what else.

    "They've destroyed all the intelligent artifacts. Or at least, I thought they did. One by one, public breaking."

    >>... But then...

    "Well, I could get a sizable amount for revealing you to the Paladins."


    "...But then I'd be killed for stealing you, so there's that. Let's get back to Big Green first..." she says, making her way through meadows.

    ((Okay, NOW I want some rolls. At least three d100s, please.))
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:34 No.16575720
    rolled 99, 22, 56, 49, 68, 49, 36, 83, 1, 63 = 526

    At least 3?
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:34 No.16575726
    rolled 48, 3, 89, 22, 31, 20, 94, 37, 37, 98, 22, 94, 44, 13, 36, 46, 4, 43, 69, 11, 43, 81, 51, 99, 92 = 1227

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:37 No.16575750
    rolled 63 = 63

    "What. WHAT!? They killed all of them. Barbarians! Heathens! No good, dirty, rotten, cowards! WHAT KIND OF JUSTICE IS THAT? The least they could have done was given us a chance to fight back! "
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:37 No.16575752
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:38 No.16575761
    rolled 39, 97, 84 = 220

    Suggestion one: Convince her that our magic will kill her if she says shit about us to anyone. As far as anyone is concerned, we're just a family heirloom that's fallen into disuse.

    Suggestion two: Ask her how, if they killed all us artifacts, we're still around? There must be others like us to find and acquire.

    Suggestion three: Figure out if she's already taken everything else that could be useful around here. If not, look around more.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:38 No.16575766
    rolled 59, 54, 85 = 198

    A hurr durr, sorry, first-time roller
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:39 No.16575787
    rolled 28, 72, 26 = 126

    oh boy
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:40 No.16575788
    rolled 65, 98, 15 = 178

    "Who or what is Big Green?"
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:46 No.16575857
    rolled 53 = 53

    Let's go for a display of power. Show our girl here just what she's got now, both to inspire and caution her.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:46 No.16575862
    well we made such a big deal about ourselves, i say we risk it and show the girl what we can do. it'll enourage her to keep us close and not drop us in a sewer or something
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:48 No.16575872
    rolled 50, 15, 6 = 71

    We are not certain if our abilities are up to giant-slaying at the moment, given our long imprisonment and our crappy transgender loli wielder. Fall back!
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:48 No.16575874
    rolled 68 = 68

    "My friend, can you think of the treasure the giant must have! I tell you, hide now! Then, when the giant passes, follow him to his home, wait until he falls asleep, then cut him with me. Just the smallest cut will do, and he will be doomed! Then you will be free to come back and collect his treasure.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:49 No.16575882

    If we win, that proves our power. If we lose, we get to be wielded by a female giant.

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:49 No.16575883
    Use the cannon on it. If it isn't charged, make him wave us around wildly until it is. "Shake me! Shake me as if your life depended on it as it most certainly does!" If the cannon doesn't work, flee.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:49 No.16575888
    >>16575882 here

    In case that wasn't clear, that was vote for FIGHT
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:50 No.16575894
    rolled 12 = 12

    Ditch Dio and get the giant to wield us.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:52 No.16575913
    rolled 95 = 95

    No, we wasted too much EGO on getting her to be "her" to just lose her.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:53 No.16575932
    A giant would not be so easy to influence. We want to avenge our kingdom, built a new one from the shes, then rule that one! To do that, we need Dio.

    Also, Doesn't Queen Dio just roll of the tongue.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:55 No.16575953

    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/09/11(Sun)23:55 No.16575973
    >>... Shake me.

    "... What?"

    >>Just do it! As if you life depends upon it. Because it does!

    She nods, pulling you free. Drawn for the first time, what a feeling. And... then she shakes you, hard. If you were man, you'd feel your brains rattle about in your skull, so instead, the world blurs disorientingly for a few minutes as the world shakes beneath Dio's feet.

    "This had better work, you rusted old piece of junk!"

    >>It will! It will! just be careful not to drop me or something!

    You can feel a shadow fall over you.

    >>Ok... okay. Now just point me at the creature! Gem first! GEM first!

    She points.

    You release.

    ((Roll 1d10000 for effect. Higher is better, best roll will be taken.))
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:57 No.16575983
         File1318219037.jpg-(57 KB, 350x350, 142.10-04-A-237.jpg)
    57 KB
    rolled 5 = 5

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:57 No.16575991
    rolled 5835 = 5835

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:57 No.16575993
    rolled 1 + 1 = 2

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:58 No.16575999
    rolled 971 = 971

    Aim for the heart.
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:58 No.16576006
    rolled 28 = 28

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:59 No.16576016
    rolled 3691 = 3691

    Aim for the groin!
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:59 No.16576021
    rolled 2382 = 2382

    >Roll 1d10000 for effect.

    I'm a firan' mah sword!
    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:59 No.16576025
    rolled 514 = 514

    >> Anonymous 10/09/11(Sun)23:59 No.16576029
    rolled 5999 = 5999


    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:00 No.16576035
    rolled 4534 = 4534

    Roll for aggressive facial diplomacy.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:00 No.16576037
    rolled 6278 = 6278


    1d10000, not 1d100 nor 1d1000.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:00 No.16576041
    rolled 4305 = 4305

    Unleash the fury on this giant! Aim for the chest!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:00 No.16576042
    rolled 7115 = 7115

    Aim for the taint!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:00 No.16576046
         File1318219256.jpg-(677 KB, 1137x938, 1315011228253.jpg)
    677 KB
    rolled 8507 = 8507

    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:01 No.16576052
    rolled 3289 = 3289

    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:02 No.16576059
    rolled 4278 = 4278

    Fuck this giant!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:02 No.16576065
    rolled 9476 = 9476

    Aim over the giant, shoot off into the distance and ditch both these idiots.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:02 No.16576070
    rolled 1373 = 1373

    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:03 No.16576075
    rolled 3386 = 3386

    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 10/10/11(Mon)00:03 No.16576081
         File1318219409.jpg-(31 KB, 500x576, tumblr_l5fn5gJ7Bs1qzurddo1_500.jpg)
    31 KB

    Fick ja!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:03 No.16576082
    rolled 8127 = 8127

    NO, what the fuck did you do!?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:04 No.16576099
    rolled 5166 = 5166

    Cut that shit out.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:06 No.16576111
    rolled 9314 = 9314

    This better not be what wins. Derailing faggotry of the highest order.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:06 No.16576112
    rolled 8726 = 8726

    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:07 No.16576124
    rolled 3586 = 3586


    Shit, so close to countering it.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:07 No.16576127
    rolled 2727 = 2727

    Stop trying to do this shit!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:08 No.16576129
    rolled 8256 = 8256

    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:08 No.16576130
    rolled 6320 = 6320

    Screw that, blast it so hard it gets amnesia.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:08 No.16576137
    rolled 6721 = 6721

    >Loli shakes us until we're ready to blast
    >Aim for the face, duh

    Not hers, I guess, but anything else sees thematically inappropriate at this point. Blast our load on the giant.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:08 No.16576139
    rolled 2136 = 2136

    fuck, Fuck, FUCK!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:08 No.16576142
    rolled 2051 = 2051

    You're a terrible person.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:09 No.16576156
    rolled 405 = 405

    I will hate you to death over the internet.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:09 No.16576158
         File1318219793.jpg-(100 KB, 800x800, 1271665807638.jpg)
    100 KB
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)00:09 No.16576159
    ((For reference: 88 cm is 5000 ))

    ((You'll note I said for power, not which suggestion. Hence, we're aiming for the head.))

    Oh god. This is a big one. You remember now: Your first and second owner, as well as yourself, never learned of the function. Your third did, but passed before he could use it. And now your most recent one just shook you up.

    >>GRIP ME



    "... Okay?" she says, doing so,


    There is a loud, resounding thump. It's almost like an entire thunderstorm went off in one go. She doesn't quite manage to aim at the head, but... that's alright. The recoil sends you fliying from her hands, directly into a tree behind her.

    But even better is the effect on the giant. Everything from the centre of the chest up simply vanished, turned into red mist, and rest of it was blown back a few feet and up, to land with a resounding slam on the surrounding terrain.

    Dio falls to her knees and whimpers at the spectacle.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:10 No.16576160
    rolled 1548 = 1548

    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:10 No.16576165
    rolled 2073 = 2073

    Considering the near-universal opposition, can we nullify this just by popular vote instead of dice?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:11 No.16576175
    rolled 1982 = 1982

    Stick with this if it does win, OP, please. But otherwise?

    That. This is what I roll for.
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)00:11 No.16576181
    >mm, not cm. DERP
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:12 No.16576185
    Make ahegao face
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:13 No.16576200
    rolled 625 = 625

    Wait, shit, we don't even fly with the blast? >>16576065 here, I misunderstood.
    >> Sonir !FAIwcQVJw2 10/10/11(Mon)00:13 No.16576202
         File1318220023.jpg-(12 KB, 433x276, 1317859420610.jpg)
    12 KB

    Schwerer gustav was my first pick, but I settled for an 88.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:13 No.16576204
    Yes little Dio, Whimper. Do you need more proof than this? Do you still doubt the power of HOLY DIVER?

    Thought not. Now lets get that treasure while the gettings good, partner.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:13 No.16576205
    A face face?

    Well, see if we can get ourselves unstuck and float back to our wielder.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:13 No.16576206
         File1318220039.png-(16 KB, 210x214, 1298239612329.png)
    16 KB
    rolled 85 = 85

    that cracked me up
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:15 No.16576218
    >A face face?

    Derp. Woops, my mistake.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:15 No.16576226
    rolled 82 = 82

    Loot the giant, and see if our Chosen One here knows where the bastard lived so we can take his stuff.

    Then, ask her about Big Green.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:16 No.16576236
    rolled 7872 = 7872

    Ask if it was as good for her as it was for us.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:18 No.16576267
    Ask for a cig
    >> EGO SCORE: 90 EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)00:19 No.16576275
    >>Well then. Doubt me now, Dio?


    >>Well don't just sit there, pull me out of this blasted tr-

    You realize a little late that your power works on wood and flesh, as you simply fall out, the tree rotting within to fall aside, blocking the road.

    >>Ah. Well, pick me up. We're not done yet.

    It starts to rain. Red rain.

    >>Ahahaha, I think I may have had a bit of a charge stored, there. Let's head back to his lair and get looting.


    >>Now, who's Big Green?

    "He, uh. He keeps me safe. Keeps an eye on me."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:21 No.16576295
    rolled 92 = 92

    The giant wasn't Big Green was it?

    I would find that amusing.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:23 No.16576314
    "Yeah? Well not anymore he doesn't."

    "I was also lying about having to turn you into a girl, I'll change you back now."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:23 No.16576317
    Oh, I had assumed you had know one. Well, he's going to be in for quite a surprise, isn't he?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:25 No.16576344
    Stop trying to undo the only good decision /tg/ has made this whole quest.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:25 No.16576349
    "Now, I may be a powerful artifact capable of things beyond imagining, but it'd still a good idea to train you in swordfighting. I AM after all, a Sword."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:26 No.16576361
    We just blew a giant the fuck up!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:26 No.16576365
    "You won your first fight, against a giant even! How doe sit feel?"
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:27 No.16576374
    Take your transgender fetish shit somewhere else, This "I want to be the little girls" shit makes every quest into "hurr I seduce him with my girly-bits durrhurr"
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:28 No.16576378
    rolled 50 = 50

    We made this bed (loli), and now we've got to lay in (with) it.

    "Oh, does he? well, why don't you tell me more about him while we loot?"

    It may be prudent to leave for the Kingdom of Rust, or wherever our next destination is, WITHOUT alerting this kid's quasi-guardian hat he found a fabled evil artefact, was transformed into a girl, and plans to go on an adventure.
    >> That McGuyver 10/10/11(Mon)00:28 No.16576379
    Know where that giant lived? His stuff could help you greatly. While we go there or somewhere else, get filled in on the current political situation. We were gone for some time, need to find out our current foe.
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)00:29 No.16576396
    >>Well, after that, I think I rather do a better job.

    Dio remains silent as you follow the footprints. An eye lands in a nearby lake, splashing loudly.

    >>Well! You just killed a giant! Isn't that great?

    "I've... never killed anything before."

    >>...Nothing? Not even a meal?

    "Big green does that for me. He says he'll teach me, someday."

    >>Tell me about him.

    "Well..." Dio gestures ineffectually. "He's big. And Green. And very strong. And nice. Has a big hammer. Talks about justice, a lot."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:31 No.16576419
    rolled 74 = 74

    >Talks about justice, a lot.

    That could be trouble.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:32 No.16576429
    Hey, that's great. He has a weapon, I'm a weapon. He loves justice, all I want is justice. He's green, I'm red. We complement each other!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:34 No.16576443
    "Did you just say..a hammer?"

    "You will not bring me near that abominable barbaric, infantile excuse for a weapon!"

    Seriously, fuck hammers.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:34 No.16576444
    Oh great, a paladin, or worst, a paladin wannabe.

    "Hmm. I suggest you keep me a secret. It wouldn't be wise to invite undue suspicion."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:34 No.16576451
    rolled 48 = 48

    Does he happen to be near here?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:34 No.16576452
    Well-meaning iron maiden
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:35 No.16576458
    Do we remember somebody, or some group that might fit that description?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:36 No.16576466
    Yeah, we changed his charge's gender, and exploded a giant of some local nfamy. I think we're past that point. Let's just avoid him- he'll interfere with our own, far greater justice.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:36 No.16576467
    "He's not a paladin, is he?
    "You should keep quiet about me; wouldn't want to answer too many awkward questions, right?"
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:37 No.16576473
    rolled 94 = 94


    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:37 No.16576477

    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:38 No.16576492
    I'm sure the wielders ward won't notice that he is now a she... Right? Perhaps to go incogneto we might need to change our transgendered friend back, at least for now. How else could we talk our way out of someone who sounds like a paladin, judging from what the kid said, from the kingdom who put us in that hell hole?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:39 No.16576498
    "Does he have trouble feeding you? You're.... rather slight."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:39 No.16576499

    >Pretty sure I've got this, what are the odds of someone beating 94 out of 100
    >> That McGuyver 10/10/11(Mon)00:39 No.16576500
    Just our luck, some do-gooder and our wielder is attached to them.

    When we get a chance to teach this kid swordsmanship,use the explainations to hide some more twisted morality we try to push on the kid.

    "Well, it was you or the giant, and you still have so much to do with your mortality before you pass on."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:39 No.16576501
    rolled 39 = 39

    >we changed his charge's gender

    Yeah, we should probably figure out an explanation for this that doesn't reveal too much.

    How about "Bitch was pokin' ancient magic shit, what was she expecting; something magic did something magic"? Technically true, also.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:41 No.16576518
    rolled 54 = 54


    About 3/50.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:41 No.16576522
    >use the explainations to hide some more twisted morality we try to push on the kid

    Eh, we don't need to do that, it'd be best to find out what the kid believes in and work around that.

    Not all intelligent weapons have to corrupt the user y'know.
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)00:42 No.16576530
    >>He's... not a paladin, is he?

    "No... all the paladins died a while ago."

    >>Oh, that's just /terrible!/ (I didn't get to kill them myself!)

    "Yeah, now it's all Templars."

    >>...? Templars?

    "Yeah. They can't see evil like the Paladins do. So they have to, uh, investigate? Something like that." she says, climbing up some rather large steps. "But oh man, when they find something?" she laughs. "Shoulda seen what happened to Jameson! Caught him dine and dashing and the next thing you know, head-onna-pike."

    >>That's... rather grim.

    "Yeah, Green can't feed me all that much, because his pay isn't so great, but he does what he can."


    "Anyway, we're almost there."

    She stops at a large door.

    "Oh, by the Free Man's fingers, the big bastard shut it!"
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:45 No.16576564
    rolled 60 = 60

    Well, depending on how subtle we're being here we can just rot the lock.

    Alternatively, we probably have enough spare eggos to unlock the door with actual subtlety.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:46 No.16576569
    I'm sorry, they executed a man? For dine and dashing?


    You know, I have worked for some real despots in my time, but none of us where ever that strict.

    Oh, just shove me in the door. It's made of wood, it'll melt. Tell him pixies stole it, or something like that.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:47 No.16576586
         File1318222079.jpg-(45 KB, 500x427, 20091209-eggo.jpg)
    45 KB
    Always spending our EGO the instant we have it.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:50 No.16576619
    Just give the lock a small tap.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:52 No.16576632
    Try not to scream "MAGICAL SUPER RUST MAGIC MAGICKY MAGIC MAGIC" and open the door with the greatest amount of subtlety we can muster.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:52 No.16576636
    I don't think he'd listen. His ears probably haven't even hit the ground by now.

    OP, can we get some kind of canon meter telling us how much charge we have?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)00:58 No.16576690
    If 75 was enough for a total physical overhaul of our wielder, I imagine 90 can get us through a door with quite a lot left over.

    Unless OP doesn't want us throwing EGO at everything every chance we get.
    >> EGO SCORE: 89 EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576704
    ((Right now it's a d1. You'll be notified on a digit-by-digit basis.))

    >>Just, ah... try to cut a hole, would you?

    >>Look for something organic...

    "The whole door is wood. Does that count?"

    >>Yes, yes, just, shove me in there.


    You slide in as she pushes with a grunt, and you feel the door melt around you. Most excellent. She pulls you out and you stand back, watching as the door melts. It's probably best not to get in there early.

    "So... How am I gonna carry all this? All the gems are filling my bag... And Big Green wanted those for something special. Sounded important."
    >> That McGuyver 10/10/11(Mon)00:59 No.16576707
    Hello? OP?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:00 No.16576713

    The giant is already dead, we don't need to spend ego to open the door to his lair when we can just poke it and it'll melt.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:00 No.16576715
    "Execution for a dine-and-dash?
    "I've worked for some real ball-busters in my time, but these Templars sound like they've got real sticks up their asses."
    Is the door made of wood?
    "Oh, the door? Just touch me to it. Anything organic I touch tends to...rust away."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:01 No.16576727
    So, the gems had enough power to seal us, just what kind of shenanigans could this green fellow be up to?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:02 No.16576747

    Can we use EGO to turn the loot-bag into a loot-bag of holding?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:03 No.16576749
    >"So... How am I gonna carry all this?

    "Look for a blanket or something to wrap the most valuable stuff up in."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:03 No.16576754
    That's not the giant's door, that's "Big Green's" door.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:03 No.16576757
    "Well, it's not as if it's going anywhere. Take what you can carry to big green and then come back for the rest.

    Probably don't want to tell those Templar about it though. They'll probably tax you on it.
    >> That McGuyver 10/10/11(Mon)01:03 No.16576761
    For clarity, are we at the home of the dead giant or big green?
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)01:04 No.16576770
    ((No no, no. It is the giant's door.))
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:08 No.16576803
    OH, still, perhaps we should try to keep our rather signature ability from being quite so obviously thrown around here. If this place gets found it could be quite a problem if our influence is easily identified.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:09 No.16576816
    Wasn't she wearing excessive amounts of robes? Could use one of those as a holding thing, like tieing the arms to her shoulders and holding the bottom, and float about on our own for now since (I think) we're free to do so.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:09 No.16576817
    "Maybe you could leave me here to guard it until you come back. Then you and I are going to have a long talk about the state of the world."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:09 No.16576819
    Hmm... Perhaps the gems are an attempt to get back past power? Most likely though, it is just heavy and looks shiny so it might be worth a bit.

    Anyway, loot away! As for carrying the loot we get... We can move ten pounds, yes? Help out the poor la-girl I mean.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:10 No.16576827
    "I'm cofnused... You want nothing more than to be rich, yet you are donating these mystic gems, which you secured at great risk to yourself, to the Templar?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:25 No.16576971
    So... No response for a bit. This thread dead already?
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)01:27 No.16576994
    >>You're just giving those gems away?

    "No... not exactly. I'm paying him back for beating away the mean men."

    >>Ah. Still, you could use one of these robes...

    "Yeah, I getcher." she mutters, as you float from the bindings as she peels off one layer, revealing that there's at least ten more beneath. She ties off the limbs and begins to scoop gold inside.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:30 No.16577019
    Why are you wearing so many? Is it cold? I can't tell, being a sword and all.

    With me around, I doubt you've any need of protection. Point me at these "Mean men" and I'll send them to their maker.
    >> That McGuyver 10/10/11(Mon)01:33 No.16577050
    Big Green didnt kill the giant, we did. Adventurers take the valuables from the monsters they kill. After all, the monsters probably did the same and we cant track down the original owners, so they are ours. A swors has no use for money, so it is all yours. A fine haul for such a new adventurer, If I do say so myself. You must be destined for great things.

    Now that you have some money, perhaps you should get some food? You must be hungry after all that scavenging and running about.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:35 No.16577067

    Ask what the lad... uh, what she means by "mean men". Preferably in a straightforward manner that involves no dancing or dodging the question.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:36 No.16577073
    How much gold are we talking? I mean, keeping in mind value could have changed over time.

    Also: try to learn more about Dio and Big Green's repective beliefs. Learn how she feels about the dine-and-dash execution system of law and order, and whetehr Big green enforces this totalitarian bullshit. We may be evil, but that level of brutality is just pointless.

    Whatever they believe, make sure we spin our goals in the best direction to appeal to them.
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)01:40 No.16577114
    >>... What do you mean by Mean Men

    "Guys what don't care whether boy or girl." he mutters, "Jus' so long as they can't fight back. Always rich, always rude. I think that's all I can carry." she says, hefting it onto her back. It looks like about a thousand peices? It's still a hell of a windfall.

    >>What's your belief on this whole execution business?

    "I don't ask about it. I just follow the law, and they leave me alone. But then, the Law follows everyone, its how me and Green met. Some guy was lifting my robes, and Green saw. Next thing I know, the dumb sod's all over the alley." she sighs. "It was some noble. There was a hubbub, but it died down eventually. Green said something about a demotion, though. Whatever that is..."


    You're exiting the Annex now.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:44 No.16577143
    >It's still a hell of a windfall.

    Hide the rest, if possible.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:47 No.16577170
    "We never allowed that sort of thing back when my old master was in charge. He may have been an evil, corrupt, lying, philandering, dictator, but we didn't allow that sort of thing.

    How is it that an evil sword gets sealed away, and the world goes even more to shit. I could rule better than this. YOU could rule better than this!
    >> That McGuyver 10/10/11(Mon)01:51 No.16577200
    WE SHALL REBUILD OUR GLORIOUS KINGDOM OF RUST TO HELP THE DOWNTRODDEN, FEED THE POOR AND HOUSE THE HOMELESS. And, you know, kill all these lawful evil/hesitant lawful neutral templar bastards. They just have to be up to something. Get Dio to give us a sit-rep on the current nations/large groups like templars.i
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:55 No.16577233
    "......You could rule better than this. HA! Hahahahaheheheh. Why didn't I see it before? Child, do you know what you have done? You have pulled a magic sword from a stone! You our destined to rule this land! Don't question it, it's how it always goes. Don't worry, we have destiny on our side, we can't possibly lose. By my peerless blade you will be a ki...,
    Monarch, you will be a monarch!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)01:58 No.16577256

    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:00 No.16577270

    "That's rough. In my day, no townsperson lived in fear of being arbitrarily assaulted by the hierarchy. Even in the leanest of times, the nobles knew the value of the commonfolk."
    >> EGO SCORE: 90 EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)02:00 No.16577271
    It's not. It's a great huge mound of shiny crap, some coin, some bullion, some thrones, some cups... you get the idea.

    >>Shouldn't we secure it?

    "Eh. No one goes to the Annex anyway, after it was cleared out. Then the giant moved in, and that was that."

    >>Still, this... this barbaricness, it roils me. These overly draconian laws, that clear favoritisim. It's all so horrid. We're going to do something about it!

    "We?" she asks, cocking an eyebrow at your floating form.

    >>Yes, we! We are going to put someone competent in charge!

    "Like who? Me?"


    "... All that sleep make you nuts, old blade?"

    >>Mmm. Perhaps I am growing ahead of myself...

    "Whatever. We just convert this dosh to Garrums, and call it done."
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:04 No.16577313
    Do you know how long I've been alone with my thoughts? I may very well be insane, but that dose not stop me from being right.

    But fine, we'll drop it for now. Let's cash in this coinage and, buy you something decent to wear.

    Something in red....
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:10 No.16577362
    yo, OP. You should probably start a new thread. This one is past bump limit.
    >> That McGuyver 10/10/11(Mon)02:18 No.16577422
    And food, can't very well be a respectable intelligent weapon and have an emaciated child as our bearer. We can fix one and we can wait on the other, besides training amd indoctrinating children would give us a better end result than some random 30 year old. We can mold this one to be our perfect holder.

    Get some nice town clothes that look nice and some unrestrictive clothing for training/combat/travel.
    >> EGO !b0vpMZLBb6 10/10/11(Mon)02:18 No.16577423
         File1318227495.jpg-(51 KB, 300x396, Athteka.jpg)
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    Time passes as you approach the city.

    ... this is not what you remember. Where once there was glistening towers of ivory, there is now squat turrets of stone. Where once sat beautiful homes of marble, there is now wood and rock and mud housing. Where once the roads were perfectly cobbled, now there is mudded paths bordered by filth. The kingdom you knew, the one that sealed you?

    It's gone. You're almost certain of it.


    ((Alright, folks, can someone archive this? I've got a bed singing a siren song, here.

    List it under INFLUENCE.))
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:22 No.16577458
    How the HELL are thing worse off them when I was active!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:41 No.16577599
    Oh, to whoever archived before I did:
    You suck at archiving, and should never archive again. The tags are all wrong.
    You saved them as one long tag instead of putting a comma and space between each one.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:49 No.16577658
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)02:52 No.16577691
    You'll have to get the site administrator's attention and ask him to do it.
    Very low chance of success. I've never seen any corrections ever occur. It'll just get deleted for incorrect tagging during the next purging.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:00 No.16577753
    Oh boy. Can we re-archive a proper copy?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:02 No.16577770
    Nope. The archiving program checks to see if the thread has already been archived, and rejects any changes to name, description, or tags. Attempting to re-archive only forces the archive program to check to see if there are any new posts and to archive them.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:03 No.16577775
    Goddamnit archive-noob. Leave this stuff to the professionals!
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)03:49 No.16578019
    So the first thread of this quest will just be messed up for archiving and eventually deleted? Sucks.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)04:04 No.16578077
         File1318233848.jpg-(22 KB, 300x309, 126707998152.jpg)
    22 KB










    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)04:04 No.16578080
    Not a problem, just make sure to link the first thread in the second, so people can find it when looking back.
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)05:16 No.16578411
         File1318238161.jpg-(120 KB, 1134x850, 128_mm_Flak_40_Ko_02-1.jpg)
    120 KB
    I wanted to be an anti aircraft gun...
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)14:51 No.16581720
    This is still here?
    >> Anonymous 10/10/11(Mon)15:17 No.16581926
    I lol'd

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