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    36 KB Archives of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)19:13 No.16435335  
    Just a head's up, this is the stories, writing and whathaveyou spawned by a thread asking "What if you were suddenly in WH40K, where would you be and how would you survive?"

    I ended up archiving a lot of the replies, the ones that formed a coherent story, and as I said I would, am reposting them here.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)19:13 No.16435343
    Ahh, so you wish to see the Archives?
    ...Well, everything seems to be in order. Please follow me.

    What you see here is the sum total of the glorious histories of the Imperium. Everything that was written or recorded and was recovered.

    Here we are. This section of the Archives is usually off-limits... but you have the proper paperwork.

    Truely, these incidents were strange. Destructive even. Not nearly as catastrophic as some, but most worrisome all the same.... Where, where, ah! Here they are.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)19:16 No.16435375
    Here are the archives you requested my lord. There is a reading desk nearby for your convience, if you should so wish it. Do be warned though, that some of these records appear to have degraded, or lost information during translation. We were able to translate most into Gothic, but there were errors made. There are a few missing pieces here and there too. Some records were rendered unavailable, and a few didn't leave records.... and there are still very occasional field reports making their way in, that we don't have recorded yet.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)19:19 No.16435399
    Archives of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition: The History of the M3 Temporal Incidents.

    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, the Forgeworld Journals.

    Journal Entry: September 24, 40,000(?)
    End up in the middle of battle between Imperial Guards and Tau for a Forge World. Hit the ground and crawl towards the Imperial trenches. Try to explain what is going on, but fail due to not knowing Low Gothic, and them not knowing English.

    Get taken to Commissar. Babble more in English. Get one or two words across. Not blammed for some reason. Given lasgun and helmet and dragged to the front.

    Journal Entry: September 30(?) 40,000(?)
    Spent next few days shooting at Tau and ducking. Commissar still hasn't shot me. Still haven't gotten Flak Armor. Learned a few words of High Gothic. Taught a few words of English.
    Managed to explain that I am from 21st century America.
    Not sure if I am believed, but the local Adeptus Mechanicus think it is possible. Probably what has kept me from getting shot by the Commissar. Have managed to aquire lighter Lascarbine.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)19:21 No.16435419
    Journal Entry: October(?) 40,000(?)
    Have managed to learn enough Gothic to hold a small conversation and get across important information. Got ahold of some flak armor and corporals stripes when a Tau sniper took out the squad's corporal. Have been given field promotion for not dying. Given up on seeing home. Now just want to survive this planet. Word is that we may be getting reinforcements.

    Journal Entry: Mid-October(?) 40,000(?)
    Ran across the remains of a scout squad while on patrol today. Scavanged a few supplies from them. Found a working Camo Cloak. Managed to pick up a bayonet and gasmask, too. Sgt. Karls found their Vox-Box. A little beaten around the edges but still in working order. They even had an Uplifting Primer that wasn't too bloodsoaked to read.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/11(Mon)19:26 No.16435474
    Why do you feel the need to repost it? Can't you just link to suptg?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)19:35 No.16435557
    Mainly because Suptg archived the whole thread. This particular repost contains about 1/7 -1/8 of the total posts, those actually concerned with the story. Quite a few of the posts in the original thread were along the lines "I'd replace the Emprah hurrdurr, and similiar."

    Worst comes to worst, and people say don't bother, I won't. I'll stop and let this thread drop. Until then, I did say that I'd be reposting the story format.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/11(Mon)19:41 No.16435623
    Do go on, my good sir.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)19:45 No.16435665
    As you wish my lord.

    Journal Entry: Beginning of November(?) 40,000(?)
    Been here for a month now I'd guess. I can hold a decent conversation now. Amazing what you'll learn when you need to. After finding that scout squad, our's has been assigned to replace them on long-patrol. We're not scouts, but this is the Imperial Guard. Make do with what you've got and send in more men if it's a problem. It's not too bad on patrol all things considered. I've got the cloak, so I get point often, though.

    Journal Entry: November (?) 40,000(?)
    Had a run in with a Tau scout today while on point. Turned around a corner and there he was. He was slow on the draw. I got two shots off before pulling my bayonet out. He managed to fire once, but it went wild. I don't think he'd ever been face to face with an enemy before. Needless to say, since I'm still here, he's not. I stabbed him in the gut, inbetween a couple of ribs where there was no armor plate... Tau really do bleed blue.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)19:49 No.16435710
    Journal Entry: Mid-November(?) 40,000(?)
    I think it may be my birthday. I haven't really kept an exact count of how long I've been here, but it's been at least a month now. Out on patrol again. The Tau have been stepping up their attacks lately. Why they want a forgeworld so bad, I don't know. I don't care. I just do what I have to. Those reinforcements I mentioned finally arrived. Not sure where they're from, but glad to see them anyways. If this weren't a Forgeworld, chances are they wouldn't have been sent to reinforce it, from what I hear.

    Journal Entry: Mid-November(?) 40,000(?)
    Lost two members of our squad today. They got hit during a firefight with Tau soldiers. I got lucky and found some cover behind a wall. Took down at least one Tau. A Leman Russ showed up and took out the rest of them. Nasty thing that tank. It opened up and there was nothing but greasy blue smears left. Nothing exciting happened after that. We went back to base, picked up some more rations and equipment. I recieved a couple of frag grnades and a pair of snare mines. Also picked up a 9-70 entrenching tool, and some medical supplies.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)19:56 No.16435801
    Journal Entry: Late-November(?) 40,000(?)
    Saw something odd on patrol today. There was a small group of humans wearing Tau equipment moving along one of the main streets. Sgt. Karls told me about them some. Traitors to the Imperium who now work for the Tau. He relayed their position over the Vox. Orders were to set up an ambush towards the plaza at the end of the street. I'd never killed another human before... We dug in at some burnt out buildings to the either side of the street. Sgt. Karls with three of the remaining guardsmen and myself along with two others on the far side. I planted my snare mines angled down the street on both sides. We waited until they were right in the middle of our sights and opened up. Between us and the mines, we shredded them to pieces. I don't remember if I hesitated or not. I just remember that it was odd seeing red blood at the end of my gunsights.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)20:06 No.16435922
    ournal Entry: Early December(?) 40,000(?)
    Sometimes, I'm glad we got sent on scout duty. Sure, it's dangerous but I don't have the Commisar breathing down my neck all the time, like the men in the lines. And, sometimes, it's moments like last night that make it worth it.
    We'd hunkered down up in a fairly stable building, to rest for a couple of hours. I'm on first watch, and it's almost unbelievable, but one of those floating troop carriers of theirs pulled right next to the building. I'm looking down from a second story window at them wondering if they're going to start shooting. Seemed they hadn't noticed us, and while they were disembarking, I alerted the rest of the squad. It's when two of them started arguing and pointing around that I started to think something was off. Then one of them pulled out a display and started pointing at it too. I realized what was going on. They were lost. These blue aliens, with their hover craft and high tech gear, were lost. I had to stifle some laughter right then.
    More importantly, they'd left the hatch open to their transport. I asked for a couple of frag grenades, and when I got them, I took aim at that hatch and quietly tossed them in. They didn't know what hit them. The thing slammed into the ground, the hatch was billowing smoke, and we finished off the ones still left standing.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)20:24 No.16436127
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, concerning the "Nolita Incident"

    Emperor preserve me, I think that's the last time I try to help a friend.

    Dated: Check 6 563 993.M41

    I was somewhere down on Nolita when it happened. SHE, happened, I should say. I was tired enough from preventing another Bloodtide incident, so when the servant told me "The Most Regal Inquisitor Helgha Tama of the Ordo Chronos" managed to talk her way onboard, I nearly killed him.

    Looking back, I probably should've.

    Tama, in her usual round-about manner, expressed to me her great love and passion for me. After I threatened to convince some Sisters that she'd been tainted by all that war-devilry, Hel finally opened up properly.

    She told me (again, in her round-about manner) that there was a prisoner on her shuttle (still docked to the Recurring Judgement), who she had found on an assignment about two hundred centuries back. The prisoner had somehow managed to join a regiment of Guardsmen fighting Tau, and was apparently quite creative.

    He also spoke no Gothic when he was found, and claimed to be from the 21st Century.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)20:31 No.16436220
    [entry continued on new audio file]

    Hel says she doesn't know how much time passed between the prisoner's "arrival" and her finding him. She does know that he has an intimate knowledge of how the Imperium works, it's history and enemies, and much other lore, both common and arcane. Which is the exact reason she can't keep him. Things within the Ordo Chronos have been particularly hostile towards anything that doesn't involve shooting out-of-time artifacts. And I'm fairly sure a person counts as far more than an artifact. So she figured (in her infinite wisdom) that the poor man would be better off on the Recurring Judgement, with a "nice, reasonable xeno-hunter". I almost slapped her face, but I settled for my own. I had the prisoner transfered to my own ship, and Tama and I headed to her personal quarters to discuss more personal matters.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)20:38 No.16436303
    The things I do for the Emperor...

    Dated: Check 6 565 993.M41

    Finally got back from Tama's ship. Had a quick shower, supervised warp-entry, and then I got to the holding cells. The Prisoner looks far better than I had hoped. He had something to eat before I arrived, and was talking to the guard when I arrived. I dismissed her and entered the cell. What followed was the strangest conversation of my life.

    Tama was right. He knows far more about the Imperium than he should. His knowledge base goes back to the Horus Heresy, and extends to about standard seven years from now. He told me that tyranid incursions will increase greatly for the rest of the millennium, and reaching fever pitch with "Hive Fleet Leviathan" attacking Gryphone IV. Also of note was his knowledge of Tau activity. He told me that the Tau cannot be trusted in the Zeist sector, particularly in 999.

    Most disturbing, however, was the information he gave me on the Thirteenth Black Crusade. In seven years, the Despoiler will try to take Cadia. According to the Prisoner, we have to allow him to take the orbital at all costs and instead hold the mainlands, for underneath Cadian ground lies a great Warp Artifact that will give him power unlike any other. I sent all of the information to the proper authorities, trusted men who wouldn't question it's source.

    But the information about Cadia just seems... wrong. Allowing Abbadon to take the orbitals seems like a bad idea, no matter how great the artifact is.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)20:46 No.16436388
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, the Forgeworld Journals.

    Journal Entry: Decemember(?) 40,000(?)
    After my last patrol, the squad was called back to HeadQuarters, immediately. Upon arrival we were told to wait outside of the main Command building. Eventually, after sitting for what felt like ages, a Commissar came out and dismmissed the rest of the squad. I was told to bring my gear and follow him inside. What followed was probably the second strangest moment of my life. I was presented to "The Most Regal Inquisitor Helgha Tama of the Ordo Chronos". The Commissar who escorted me in was dismissed, at which point I was starting to get nervous. I knew that Ordo Chronos meant something to with time, and I could guess why she was here. I was going to be interrogated and probably executed, I thought. And I'd left my lascarbine at the door, not that it would've done me much good.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/11(Mon)20:49 No.16436415
    I appreciate this work, librarian, please carry on.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)20:55 No.16436473
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, concerning the "Nolita


    I don't trust him any further than I can throw him... even with my augmented


    Dated: Check 6 567 993.M41

    Nothing of note today, at least in reference to the cleansing of Contact activity in

    the Sector. In reference to the Prisoner, two things happened.

    First, I finally had Wendi up here to interrogate the Prisoner. And she wasn't able

    to. She isn't the best psyker in the galaxy, but I trust this girl to do her job. When

    she told me that she just couldn't get through to him, I got worried. Wendi wasn't

    foaming at the mouth, so I couldn't believe the prisoner was a blank. She just told

    me that there was an "aura of boring" about him, and that her mind just couldn't

    bear to pierce him. I spoke to an old friend with the Astra Telepathica, and it

    seems to be consistent with the Prisoner's claim of being from the M3. People

    weren't psychically active back then, so it would take some time to be able to

    crack this kava nut.

    Second, I gave that information some thought. I contacted a few other experts on

    the xeno threats described, and they checked out. But giving Abbadon the

    orbitals? It would take one warp of an artifact to be worth that much... and even

    so, I doubt that the Black Warmaster would be so easily fooled. I gave bridge the

    order to head to Cadia. A few people were thrown off, but I'm more than sure

    Vail and Korvie can hold of Contact for the rest of the campaign...

    Other than that, everything is going well. The Prisoner and his guard are getting

    rather close. Ah well. He should at least have some measure of comfort in this

    "grimdark universe" as he called it...
    >> Orky_Boss 09/26/11(Mon)20:55 No.16436481
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    You know, I am beginning to wonder why people at school don't let us surf the web when I can find much more interesting reads on the internet then any of those stupid books in that stupid library. They don't even have anything from Dan Abnett >:(
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)20:57 No.16436497
    Pardon the typeset here. Something went wrong during the posting process. Not sure why though.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/11(Mon)20:58 No.16436515
    >> Anonymous 09/26/11(Mon)21:00 No.16436531
    Literature is not confined to your age or warhammer and your likes. I am sure if you have a look around you will find a gem especially in schools because you don't know who donated what there. I once found a first edition print of The Hobbit from back in the day. And I am sure there was a rumour about an Action Comics #7 first issue that was left untouched in my old Middle School library 11 years ago...good times.
    >> Orky_Boss 09/26/11(Mon)21:01 No.16436549
    You know, I'm beginning to wonder why they don't let us go on the internet during free time at school. I can find much more interesting reads on the internet than anything that stupid library has to offer.

    They don't even have books from Dan Abnett! >:(
    >> Anonymous 09/26/11(Mon)21:03 No.16436576
    You just rewrote that from your earlier post. You are a faggot.
    >> Orky_Boss 09/26/11(Mon)21:05 No.16436593
    dangit. something went wrong with the posting, and now I ended up double posting! (or possibly triple+ posting, I can't see all the posts)

    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)21:06 No.16436608
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, the Forgeworld Journals.

    Journal Entry Part Two: December(?) 40,000(?)
    What happened next... it just kept getting stranger. I was told that I would be coming with her to a vessel under her command, and that I would tell her everything I knew. With that out of the way, I was almost dragged out of there. I did manage to grab ahold of my lascarbine on the way out, but her guards confiscated that. I was taken aboard the Inquisitor's personal landing craft and up to the vessel waiting in orbit. So far, I had not been treated harshly, or threatened, but I was still worried. No weapons, no squad mates to help, and no bearings. After being brought up to the ship, I was escorted to a room and told to stay in it until summoned. To make sure of this, they had a guard posted outside of my door. What was probably a few hours later, The Inquisitor stepped in. She wanted to know how I was found, what I knew. All of it.
    And I told her. I told her how I'd been relaxing one day, fell asleep at one point and woke up in the middle of a battle. I knew a little about the 40,000 millenium, enough to recogonize the two sides, and a little more. And then, then everything faded away. I could still hear my voice, I could hear myself talking, but I couldn't understand the words. This went on for some time, and then it stopped. But the expression on her face... that worried me much more than anything up until then. It was a mixture of grim determination and a slight hint of fear.
    I was left alone after that. I'm glad I still write in English. I'm not sure if I want them to know that wasn't myself doing the talking all the way. Now, I think I'm going to rest. It's been a long day, and longer still since I slept in a bed.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)21:13 No.16436694
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, concerning the "Nolita Incident"
    If it weren't for all the trouble she gives me, I might just love her...

    Dated: Check 6 567 993.M41

    Helgha contacted me a while ago. It was a secure line. She wouldn't explain why she was only telling me this now, but said it had somethng to do with warp currents being favorable...

    When she first interrogated the prisoner, she was wearing that Gell-Rosarius I gave when she joined the Ordo. I'm not sure if I've mentioned it on this particular archive, but it''s a small device, blessed by the Ecclesiarchy and capable of producing a small anti-possession field. Sadly (and here's where it get's worrisome) it has a habit of failing when going into the warp. Sometime during the interrogation, they made a warp-jump. And the prisoner... changed...

    What before was just lose details (Tau here, there's more Tyranids than you think, etc.) became specific outlines of events in the near future. His eyes somehow turned a brighter shade of black (whatever that means) and his hair looked staticy, despite being in the only rubber-lined room onboard. Not only that, but apparently, the entirety of the intelligence of Cadia came at this time.

    I asked to meet with her in person, but Hel sid it was impossible. She was transmitting from transfinite warp-probe and was almost a full millennium behind us. Whatever was happening, she was worried sick.
    >> Lone Wanderer 09/26/11(Mon)21:28 No.16436898
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    I did not say to stop
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)21:29 No.16436905
    Taken from Ship's Logs during Warp Infestation:
    Oh Throne... If I forget the Emperor, don't let him forget me... [intelligible] [crashing noise]

    Date:... Whatever the last one was, it was about three hours ago, frak!


    Tera! Tera! Oh Throne, preserve her... only decent navigator I've ever met...


    This is the Inquisitorial ship Recurring Judgement. Our gellar field failed for about three minutes. We've been boarded by daemons. Look Tzeenchtian, I'm no expe- [intelligible]

    Warp!! Warp!!! Frak you, you frakking [intelligible]!! Miles! Bring that melta around! Ron, are we in realspace? Yes? Radio whoever is down there, then! Tell them to shoot us down! Anyone not in the bridge is to head to an escape pod!


    If the boys groundside do as they're told, and you've found this record...
    Make up something cute to tell Helgha.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/11(Mon)21:30 No.16436911
    bumpin cuz its a good read
    >> Anonymous 09/26/11(Mon)21:31 No.16436921
    > "What if you were suddenly in WH40K, where would you be and how would you survive?"

    So you're posting self-insertion fan-fiction.
    >> Lone Wanderer 09/26/11(Mon)21:37 No.16436993
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    I don't like you.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)21:39 No.16437016
    Not only that, but I'm posting other peoples self insertion fanfic, from another thread that's already gone from the active boards.

    But, hey it makes for a good read, and I left out the more fantastical/unbelievable stories.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)21:51 No.16437154
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, concerning the "Nolita Incident"
    I'm alive. Despite the best attempts of Admiral Testa.

    Dated: Check 6 702 993.M41

    As I said... Despite the best attemps to do their duty, the Navy stationed around the area where we dropped out of the Warp wasn't able to shoot us down. Everything worked out for the best, though. As soon as the last recording cut out, three things happened:
    1) Our Gellar field pulsed. I'd only heard old sailors tell stories about that happening, but I guess it really does occur. The field pulsed while in realspace, causing some kind of overlap with the warp, and... well the point is that every daemon reacted like it had been doused with blessed promethium, and anything that survived that got cut down by Miles and his melta.

    2) I didn't find out about this until later, but our techpriest recovered control and contacted the world we were about to crash into. The local government declared an emergency and cleared an area big enough to crash-land into with (relative) safety. Not only that, but the Imperial Court space marine chapter was in the system, and would meet us on-world.

    3) I found the prisoner.
    He was cowering in a corner on the bridge. Our eyes met. I don't know what happened, but I could just... tell. He didn't mean for this to happen, but he knew it was his fault, somehow. I lunged over to him and shot him, but not without a brief apology. The poor man died afraid and alone, in a universe where no one knew or loved him.


    I'll be back. Someone is summoning me... Probably the governor.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)22:02 No.16437270
    Well fuck me with a chain sword and call me Creed...

    Dated: Check 6 702 993.M41

    That was Helgha. I can hardly believe it. I almost kissed her when I saw her. I almost killed her, too. She told things to important before I could do anything, though.

    I was right, in a way. The prisoner wasn't intentionally responsible for what happened to the Recurring Judgement. It was the sheer volume of knowledge he possessed about daemons, particularity Tzeentch, that caused it. So full was his mind that even our Gellar field couldn't stop the daemons from using him as a portal. That wasn't the worst part, though.

    It's happening everywhere.

    A sudden surge in noble populations the galaxy over.
    Techpriests with all sorts of new devices. Some heretical.
    Guard units reporting strangers with a good grasp of tactics- and Imperial history.

    It's only a few hundred reported so far... but everywhere they appear, daemons or worse follow.

    She's brought me and my surviving retinue onboard with her. I'm happy to be with her... but Emperor knows where we're going.
    >> Anonymous 09/26/11(Mon)22:14 No.16437391
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    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)22:20 No.16437461
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, concerning the widening the M3 Incidents.

    Frakkin' gearheads are getting us killed...

    Dated: Check 4 333 995.M41

    Found another time-traveler. This one tried to join the Mechanicum, somehow. He ended up corrupting the techpriests studying him, and they built a rudimentary time-machine. More like a "time-titan" really. Hel tried to explain how it worked, but I'd rather not deal with Ordo Chronos stuff.

    That brings the grand total to 26. 26 men and women claiming to be from M3. 26 cases of extreme corruption stemming from their intimate knowledge of Chaos. Frak...


    We found another one. I usually hate cutting these things short, but the Astartes holding him aren't patient men.

    That was... interesting.

    Dated: Check 3 334 993.M41

    Number 27 wasn't like the other ones. The few travelers we've met so far are either terrified of their current situation, or they're almost... ecstatic. This one was calm. He apparently walked straight towards the nearest Astrates monastery and explained his situation in broken Gothic (which he learned while hitch-hiking across the world he appeared on). He also asked for Ordo Chronos by name. That's something new. They usually know the major factions from the Inquisition, but this one seems to have a far deeper understanding than the others. When Hel asked about this, he mumbled something about "playing daemonhunters". Must be a reference to that game they're always talking about...

    [distant crash]

    What the frak? Miles, what was that?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)22:26 No.16437537
    ++Mobile Recording Platform++
    Alright... we're on board the hulk. Throne, I can't believe we hit that.

    Uh, right. I probably should explain.

    Once I get back to the ship, I'll synch this up to the rest of the archive. For now, I'm using the recording platform embedded in this suit. We hit a space hulk while we were exiting the system where we picked up 27. Space hulk wasn't registered, and no one claimed salvage. No obvious signs of tainting by xenos or chaos...

    Celty, you done with that read-out yet?

    Perfect. Alright, last known destination was Tau space. It's definitely Imperial, so it could be a trading vessel for all I know. Read-out says most of the hull is breached. There's a few rooms deeper into the ship that still have atmo, though... Hel? We're going in.

    [brief arguing]

    Hmph. Doesn't bat an eye when I forget her birthday and gives me warp for not bringing a bolter onto an abandoned hulk. I sure know how to pick 'em... Celty, if there are any biosigns, you let- There are? Perfect... Let's pray it isn't orks or 'stealers...

    [sustained silence for about 200 seconds]

    Alright. I'm at med bay. Celty tells me that something's alive in here. I'm hoping it doesn't stay that way...

    [hiss of decompression, plasma pistol activated]

    Emperor, he's alive! Frak, that's about to change!! Ron, get us back over there!

    Frak me, I should know better at this point...
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/26/11(Mon)22:36 No.16437632
    ++Synchro Complete++

    Dated: Check 3 335 995.M41

    Emperor... We found another one. This is the only we've ever found two at a time. Hel's freaking out. Everyone is, on some level. We've seen what these bastards can do on their own... Two of them...

    28, as I'm calling him, is in the med bay, recovering. Short-wave teleport doesn't treat people too kindly the first time around, and this was an exaggeration of that rule. Not sure what we're going to do about him...

    As if that weren't enough, 27 and I finally got to talk. He told me that he was looking for an "Inquisitor Cheveska". She's with Hereticus, and is stationed somewhere near Cadia. He tells me that she'll be playing a big part in the next Black Crusade, and wants to help out anyway he can. Throne... at least this one's co-operative. I remember 8. Bitch joined the Tau at the first chance she got. If it weren't for that Vindicare Hel keeps on hand, the Tau would've had a complete play-by-play for their next crusade. That was right around the time these things stopped surprising me.

    I keep trying to press 27 for more information on the 13th Black Crusade, but he's not giving me anything clear. He did, however, say one thing that worried me...

    Chaos will take Cadian ground. We have to allow him into the orbital and hold the surface at all cost.

    I've only heard that once before, and I don't trust 27 anymore than I did 1.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)00:25 No.16438523
    I apologize my lord, for my lateness in retrieving this portion of the archive. Other tasks of importance delayed me. It will not happen again.

    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, concerning the widening the M3 Incidents.

    Dated: Check 3 502 995.M41

    Headed to Cadia, finally. Hel and I had a LOOOOOOONG talk after my last entry... She decided that she doesn't trust 27 either, but if he's going to pull something like 8 did, we might as well let him show his hand. Still... I can't for the life of me figure out what could possibly come out of something like this. Maybe the battle for Cadia really will play out like he said... With the Imperium taking the orbitals and the heretics blasting their way out with... whatever they hope to find.

    28 woke up last week. I'm holding off on interrogating him, but from what he's told me, he hasn't seen the best time. He found a rogue trader headed to Tau space and bought his way onboard. There was a mutiny halfway through the voyage, and 28 was on the losing side. When the winners left, they left 28 to die in the hold where we found him. Damn... That's rough.


    I'm going to talk to him right now.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)00:48 No.16438722
    Dated: Check 3 555 995.M41

    Headed to Cadia. We just received an emergency broadcast from Cheveska. Headed to rendezvous with her as I'm recording this. Not only that, but it's just me, with 27 and 28 again. Hel got called back by another Inquisitor. Something about a consult regarding an older case. 19, I think it was.

    Heh, is it sad that I almost miss her?

    At any rate, here's the transcript from my interrogation of 28.


    Myself: Well, kid. Where you from?

    28:... hah. Aren't Inquisitors supposed to be more "by the book than that"?

    Myself: We're supposed to be... But look at it this way. We found you near-death in a space hulk, somehow ended up here from the 3 millennium. You're in a grim and dark universe with almost no friends to speak off, and we only picked you up because you might be useful in corroborating some intel I have. Would harassing you really be any better than just showing you a little kindness?

    28:.... True.

    Myself: Now, what can you tell me about the 13th Black Crusade?

    28: The 13th? Let's see... I think Chaos takes Cadia?

    Myself: You think?

    28: I'm new to this whole thing.. I don't even play Warhammer, just Dawn of War.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)01:12 No.16438973

    Myself: Damn... Any chance you know of that "lexicanum" thing?

    28: Only once... I needed to look up a walkthorough and got that instead. Something about Boreal...

    Myself: Ah well... Damn.

    28: Wait! There is something!

    Myself: Oh? What is it?

    28: I don't remember too well, but I know this for sure. You can't let Chaos take Cadia.

    Myself: Tell me something I don't know, haha. I just wish we knew how to stop them...

    28: It has something to do with a trap. Chaos is going to try and clear the surface... I think. For what, I don't know.

    Myself: Is there an artifact of some sort...?

    28:... There could be. Fuck! I don't remember... Just reinforce Cadia!

    [At this point, a struggle is heard. 28 begins to panic, and guards are brought in to restrain him]

    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)01:17 No.16439015
    Dated: Check 2 778 995.M41

    Haven't kept these logs up to date. Been meeting with this general or that brother-captian. There is a reason I wrote something today, though. Well, two really.

    Reason number one: Helgha finally got back to me. Here's the audio file she sent me:




    Helgha is a lot of things. One thing she isn't, though, is a woman who calls people "babe". The closest thing she has to a pet name is "grox-frakker". Something is wrong here.

    Reason number two: I saw 28 again. I bought one of those apples for the occasion. I hadn't seen him since we arrived at Cadia, and I figured I might as well keep treating him well.


    Myself: [tosses apple] These aren't cheap, y'know. I hope they're a delicacy back in M3.

    28: Haha... They're okay. [bites apples] Mmmmm... Weird... Apples on Cadia.

    Myself: How is that strange?

    28:... I can't remember, but I remember something terrible about the apples on Cadia. Or the ships they came on...


    I checked out the ship. Lots of merchants have been coming in and out of the system. I'm not sure if that's entirely okay, particularly with those excavations having reached their deepest point.
    >> The Inquisitor With No Name 09/27/11(Tue)01:23 No.16439079
    Bump. Wrote in this thread. Feels good to see a bit of my stuff up here.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)01:32 No.16439187
    Dated: Check 3 667 995.M41

    Finally on Cadia. Met with Cheveska. Things are getting worse...

    There's a Chaotic fleet amassing deep in the Eye. Right now, it looks like just Black Legion, but that could change any minute. The population is gearing up for a fight, and given 27's intel, I expect the Mechanicum to begin excavations at any moment. They've already uncovered a few xeno ruins deep under the ground. Looks like 27 checked out after all... The strategy at this point seems to be to reinforce everything, and prepare for a siege. A lot of local worlds are sending food. I saw a few juvies try and cook an apple the other day. They'd never seen one...

    I released 27 into Cheveska's custody. He's adjusting well, and he might end up serving in the IG here, or at least running security somewhere.

    Still haven't heard from Hel. Our fight the weeks before hand wasn't anything too big, but I'm still worried. I'll give her a shout later...

    Thinking about synching up a few old reports to this archive, just for safe keeping. Should I...?
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)01:50 No.16439345
    Dated: Check 2 799 995.M41


    It's the reason that the apples worried 28, and it's where the story of Cadia's fall was told.

    At some point in the distant past, a story was written which was set in our universe. This doesn't surprise me, since I know that the current state of the galaxy is only a game to the men from the past, and it would make sense for there to be stories about that game. But in one of these stories (according to 28, one of the better ones), Cadia is attacked through trading vessels carrying apples.

    That's why 27 and 1 were so adamant that our forces should concentrate on the ground. When the vessels make landfall, they'll activate the bombs onboard and destroy this world forever. Abbadon will have his base- and whatever Emperor forsaken device is buried here. With those two things, Terra is doomed.

    Even as I write this, I am headed down to the starport. I don't know if the bombs will be coming down from there, but I do know that I can use the orbital traffic controller to stall all merchant vessels and shoot them down.

    By the Emperor... I hope I can make it in time.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/11(Tue)02:14 No.16439562
    Apples? I dont remember that one, link anybody?
    >> The Inquisitor With No Name 09/27/11(Tue)02:22 No.16439633
    ctrl+f "apples"
    Good shit, too.
    >> The Inquisitor With No Name 09/27/11(Tue)02:25 No.16439652
    Shit son. Forgot the link itself: http://m.fanfiction.net/s/5937830/10/
    >> mr.mutant 09/27/11(Tue)02:27 No.16439673
    I am f5ing like a madman
    >> Anonymous 09/27/11(Tue)02:27 No.16439675
    Here is a link to the related Archives, that you requested.

    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, concerning the widening the M3 Incidents.


    Helgha. It's me. I wish I could explain what's going on, but you never know who's listening. All I want you to know is that you can't trust them. Some might be like 2 and 16, they might try to help as much as they can, but Throne... Chaos really does follow them like a plague...

    That's not all I want you to know.

    I know were both Inquisitors. And I know the old joke about an Inquisitor's love-life.

    But I still care about you, even if you show your own love by trying to get me killed.

    Heh. For once, you might have succeeded.

    >> Anonymous 09/27/11(Tue)02:29 No.16439693
    You know, it seems that we both forgot the Links, Inquisitor.

    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, concerning the widening the M3 Incidents.

    ++Mobile Recording Platform++

    Is this on? Alright, Miles keep me in touch with command.

    Right, this is Inquisitor [unintelligible] with the Ordo Xenos, acting as an agent for the Ordo Chronos. I've been alerted to a significant threat in the imidiate starport facility. All personelle are to evacuate. All guards are to shoot anyone who can't produce authentic ID. Not that it'll help...

    [sounds of driving]

    Patch me through to OrbControl! [pause] What do you mean, you've lost contact??

    [another pause, lasting a full minute]

    27, listen to me. I don't know if this sort of thing was allowed in M3, but if you don't [pause]. You were found wandering into an Astartes Monastery, how else were we to treat you? [pause]. ...What do you mean, I don't understand...?

    [lengthy pause]

    Frak you.

    This is Inquisitor [gunfire] with the Ordo Xenos, acting as an agent for the Ordo Chronos. OrbControl has been infiltrated by a cultist acting on behalf of Alpha Legion. I am ordering all merchant vessels in orbit held off. Any vessel known to carrying foodstuffs, particularly apples, is to be boarded and inspected. Emperor help us all
    >> Anonymous 09/27/11(Tue)02:31 No.16439707
    ++Mobile Recording Platform++


    28!! 28! If you're in there, I'm going to-

    *To what, Inquisitor?*

    [silence, footsteps]

    28.... What the frak?

    *Inquisitor, I have a question. Imagine you're somehow transported to a world you don't understand yet know everything about. Imagine you can do as you please, you have an ACTUAL IMPACT in this universe.-*

    You're insane. Half of your... kind... we found living quiet lives in Guard units, or in hiveworlds. One or two had families. I know you think you're all that but... Do you seriously expect to win? I could understand joining the Guard or Inquisition, and I can even rationalize joining the Tau. But Chaos? That doesn't even make sense!

    *To you. But here, it almo-*

    You were never good at just talking, were you? [gunshots]

    [more gunshots]

    Grah!!! Frak!! [gunshots]

    [distant] *Brother Captain! There's the Inquisitor!*

    [lone bolter shot]

    Frak me... They got him. Frak...

    I really hate reusing my lines... but go ahead and tell Helgha I said something cute.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)02:34 No.16439732
    Knew I had something messed up. I had placed the name into the E-mail slot. I'm getting tired. Time to place the last few Records before going to bed.

    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, Additional Records concerning M3 Incidents: Vostroyan Audio Logs:

    I'm keeping this audio log, to keep me sane in this world I've ended up in. Though I have no idea how I was on Earth at one point and now... here. I have no idea what the date or time is.

    I ended up with some sort of army that doesn't speak english, they refer to me as "chevek". From the way they say it, it possibly means outsider and or some sort of insult.

    These soldiers look like nothing like the soldiers back home ( United States of America). They are extremely careful about maintaining and even protecting their weapons. In fact I think ( key word here is think), that these weapons are passed down from father to son, judgeing by this very long piece of paper with a list of names (?) I think. Another observation I noticed is that some have put axes on their rifles. Fucking hardcore shit right there. On and more thing, this world I'm on is fucking cold but these guys seem to be in their element.
    >> Anonymous 09/27/11(Tue)02:36 No.16439745
    So wait, this guy thinks that I.G are just conscripted grunts that survive by simple numbers?

    I think he needs to go back and read the fucking codex. Just because they are guardsmen and from feral worlds and such doesn't mean they don't get a year or so basic training. All Guardsmen are at least U.S military standard in training and are still top of the military food chain in regards to who they get compared with such as PDFs and the rank and file Arbites.

    JUst because /tg/ thinks the boardgame gamestyle happens to be the fluff style doesn't make it so. I.G don't die due to bad equipment and training, they die because they are facing horrors from beyond the stars with weapons that range from .50 cal machine guns as standard weapons to flesh devouring beetle rifles.

    Only armies like the Kreig and Mordians are based on human wave and rank and file gun lines. Most armies are based on the Cadians and they are fully trained soldiers.

    This is one of the reasons /tg/ has no fucking idea why the devs don't listen to them fluff wise. It is more likely to be Starship Troopers style of combat than battle of the Somme.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)02:50 No.16439884
    Please take your complaints elsewhere. This is merely a story archive, not a discussion thread.

    None of these are statements of opionion, just people telling a story.

    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, Additional Records concerning M3 Incidents: Vostroyan Audio Logs:


    Jesus fucking Christ, I'm scared, I pissing myself, literally pissing myself. I was being interrogated by what I think was a officer in a tent ( we didn't get very far as he doesn't speak English and I don't speak whatever the hell he did), when we suddenly heard this yelling, screaming and gunfire outside.

    When we emerged, I saw... I saw these things strange tall, thin warriors wearing dark segmented plates, held in place by barbs ( I think?) and they were making utter mincemeat of the men. They fought with a fuck load of valour but the tall thin warriors just moved through them as if they were paper. I think they were cackling with laughter but I couldn't here properly, I was running at this point.

    And now I'm, hiding in my urine stained paints behind a tank clutching one what I hope to be a pistol of a now dead soldier.

    I'm gonna try and look up, to see if its safe.

    ... the fuck are they doing over there? Are they loading the dead into some transport... no they arent dead, their twitching and writing in agony. I can see it on their faces and- WAIT- fuck, gotta keep my voice down-, one isn't wearing a helmet... is that a god damned elf?

    Not safe here, gotta move into the forest.

    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)02:57 No.16439951
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, Additional Records:
    Recovered Audio Log: Unidentified:

    IF the Cluxpe has some sense of...humor this is where I would end up.
    +++++ (all in swedish)
    Where the hell am I? Sure, I dreamt about getting the fuck out of my life. But this? This? This has to be a fucked up fever dream. Ended up on a world in the...Warhammer universe, the grimderp version...pure luck I wasn't torched at sight by the...I guess the Ecclesiarchy troops, don't understand a word yet. Somehow I was spared since a) I was human, b) some gaudy looking fellow stopped them, with gaudy I mean GAUDY.

    And, if this is...where I think I am...I sure as hell gotta start praying to the Emperor...for I know shit...thankfully not any deep knowledge about the Warp, but who knows how little is required for something to happen?

    Be careful for what you wish, you may get it.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)03:13 No.16440056
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, Additional Records:
    Recovered Audio Log: Unidentified:

    Verklighet, dröm, Skilda evigt åt.
    Tag akt då drömmen blir sann.
    Den vill dig något, men vad?

    Lyss', på vindens hot.
    Stärk det skydd du fann.
    Vänd upp ett nytt blad!

    Lös upp korsets knot.
    Sök ljusets famn.
    Sjunk ner i livets bad.
    Reality, dream. Forever apart.
    Take heed when the dream comes alive.
    It hungers for you, but what part?

    Heed to the wind's call!
    Strengthen the found shelter.
    Turn a page anew.

    Unravel the crosses knot.
    Seek the embrace of light.
    Let thee be engulfed by it.

    Thank goodness for the poetry I still know. While the guardians and...people interested in me don't understand what I am saying, they find the rhytms of my poetry odd. I just pray...well...to the Emperor that they won't execute me for an heretic...or worse.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)03:20 No.16440100
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, Additional Records:
    Recovered Audio Log from Eastern Fringe:

    ...This thing on? Oh, look. It's got some vox-thingy recording. That's nice. So, umm... I'm just gonna keep this thing recording as I really just need to talk. Err, to anyone that can, y'know, understand this: I'm Jakob, and as far as I can tell, I'm screwed. This whole thing is just insane...

    OK, maybe I should just begin at the beginning. I went to sleep as normal, and when I woke up, I was lying on a corpse. Yeah, that's... Uh... Quite disgusting. I of course panicked. Rolled over, jumped up. Looked around. Saw what looked like a WWI battlefield. Then I realised what that corpse was. It was an Imperial Guardsman...

    Yeah. Shit. Looked around a bit more. Found more bodies. Most human, and Imperials. Some Tau. Found this thing. Looked like a recorder. And whattayaknow, it was. Now I'm stumbling around the killing fields, looking for some more food. Found some MRE-like things. Tasted like shit, and if I recall my Warhammer lore correctly, it might've been corpse starch. But it filled me up. Now, I'm gonna go check on that Tau thingy over there... Be back in a while
    >> The Inquisitor With No Name 09/27/11(Tue)03:31 No.16440146
    Fuck this gay earth. I have class tomorrow and need to sleep. Archive this when you're completely done, sir Librarian. I'll get a wiki page up for it EVENTUALLY.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)03:54 No.16440293
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, Additional Records:
    Recovered Audio Log from Eastern Fringe:

    *loud shriek*
    *whining noise*
    *quiet thump*
    *heavy, fast footsteps*
    *fast, almost panicked breathing*
    ...Thank the God-Emperor. They've passed.
    Jesus, this thing's on? Ah well. Just almost got caught by some Tau. Tried to shoot me, the bastards! Whole Fire-Warrior squad. Managed to jump aside, currently in some burnt-o...
    *loud yell*
    *feminine voice screaming in Low Gothic*
    Hey, keep it calm! Err... Ave Imperator! Waitwait... There, see Aquila Sign?
    *feminine voice speaking in Low Gothic*
    Listen miss, I don't understand you. See? I don't comprehend... What? Want me to follow you? Sure, you haven't shot me yet, unlike those Tau bastards...

    So, uh... I'm... Whoa, shit! Look, it's just an audiologger! It's chill? Well, good.
    *footsteps for a minute*
    Yeah, as I was saying... I'm picked up by some IG chick. I hope that we're heading for some sort of camp. Shit, I can't believe this is fucking happening... Kurwa...
    So, gonna cut this short. I dunno how long this thing'll hold, and I really wanna keep some kind of diary.
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)03:58 No.16440319
    Records of the Holy Orders of the Emperor's Inquisition, Additional Records:
    Recovered Audio Log from Eastern Fringe:

    'Sup. Back again. I'm immensely relieved. That chick took me to an IG camp, and dragged my ass to what appeared to be a Captain. He looked at me, nodded, smiled and shook my hand.
    Then he turned to the chick, blabbered in what I think was Low Gothic, and the chick answered and nodded. She took me to a quatermaster, I believe. I now have a slightly dirty IG uniform, a whiteshield helmet, boots and a lasgun.
    Also, I've got a sleeping bag and a blanket. It's night now, and I'm sitting in my improvised shelter. Found some plastic boards and made a quick shelter, if it'd rain tonight.

    I think I've gotten grabbed by the Imperial Guard. I pretty much expect to die soon. At the very least they haven't killed me. Probably thinks I'm a native of the planet that doesn't speak their dialect. Well, let's just hope...
    Also, haven't seen a Commissar. This probably is for the best. Also, I'll try taking English to the Captain tomorrow. I think that High Gothic was supposed to be like English. Time to pray, and sleep.
    ::End of Files::
    >> Inquisitorial Librarian 09/27/11(Tue)04:04 No.16440364
    I'm afraid that is all that we have at the time my lord. These are the most undamaged files of what was recovered. Many files were lost with the Ordo Chronos, a few of these among them. We were lucky to retain the ones we did. Really, a most interesting period of Imperial History. Not widely known at all, though. This material is very closely guarded, and kept secret from most.

    As I mentioned before, we do recieve the occasional field report or scrap of information. If it pleases you, my lord, I can notify you of any newly recovered additions to this Archive File.

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