Legionary Sulla is having a good day. A better day than usual, even. He's up to six, and he isn't even feeling the burn yet.
A gaul swings low. He catches it on his shield, and steps forward to smash the boss right into the longhair's face. There's a crunch like... The crunch of a smashed face. Seven. He smiles, and steps back. Oh, how he wants to keep going forward. But he knows that the Centurion would be upset...
Eight comes along, nine comes along... But he does not break rank. Centurion Mallo had such a heartfelt talk with him yesterday about sensitivity in the workplace. "You make the rest of us feel just awful," he had said. "Nobody can keep up with you, and that makes us sad. Please consider other peoples' feelings too!"
Also, they had whipped him.
Sulla sighs around twelve. It just isn't the same, getting them like this. It feels like eating one slice out of an apple and claiming the whole. Sulla looks to the sky, and prays.
"Oh heavenly badasses above, please, hear the plea of Sulla, your number one fan, and grant me an eternity of breaking rank and killing barbarians... Pretty please?"
And somewhere above, beyond the clouds, something seems to have heard him. For a great void opens up right there, in the heart of cisalpine gaul, and swallows Sulla up.
There, in the darkness, momentarily confused, he sees his first enemy approaching. T'is a savage gaul, with murder in its eyes. Sulla braces his shield, and adjusts his grip on his sword. And just to complete the effect as he advances...
"Legionary Sulla, get back in formation!" he chuckles to himself.
Red or Blue, /tg/?