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  • File : 1314507428.jpg-(121 KB, 600x600, 1568 - 40k commissar heresy.jpg)
    121 KB HERETIC Quest 2: Heresy for everyone! Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)00:57 No.16090095  
    By popular demand, I'm continuing this right now instead of sleeping. Fun.

    Anyways, here's a brief summary to get you up to speed if you're incapable of using the link at the end of my post:

    You're a dirty filthy heretic, who was -almost- a squat. But not quite. You are, however, an Alpha Level Ginger... Psyker, I meant pysker. And a notorious Heretek.

    Once upon a time, you were a normal Sage working for the Imperium. Then you decided that your job sucked, and through sheer balls became the second in command on an Ork pirate ship. After having robbed from the rich for a few years, you came across an Eldar vessel, and seizing your destiny, assumed command of it. Upon being told by Tzeentch to have the Eldar on board work for you as SPESS PIRATES, you went and raided a Tau Space Station, capturing it and a Tau cruiser.

    Soon afterwards, you got a chance to test out a piece of Heretek on your former employer, blowing holes in his ship and causing an overload that exploded his bridge. So that's nice.

    You are currently on board Mork's Klaw, a Looted Eldar Cruiser, crewed by a combination of Chaos Orks, Eldar Pirates, and Tau. The ship you just took out, Da Green Choppa, is floating towards you on a rather slow course. Nearby, a Looted Tau Cruiser, The Red Storm, is standing ready to receive your orders.

    What do?

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)00:59 No.16090113
    Also, put dice+1d100 in the email field.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:00 No.16090131
    rolled 9 = 9

    Loot Da Green Choppa, of course!

    And fight all dem gitz over dere.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:01 No.16090141
    rolled 16 = 16

    have your Orks and Eldar board the damaged ship to krump any remain survivors.

    Have a female Tau massage your shoulders while you wait.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:05 No.16090179
    rolled 83 = 83

    Krump some gitz for lookin at ya funny. Den loot dat ship!
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)01:19 No.16090298
    Deciding to randomly execute one of the Orks, you pull out your shoota and blast him in the arm. Your sudden thirst for violence quenched, Bubbles gets to work as you order that your Looters get to Lootan. The Eldar managing the forces expertly, soon the shuttles are off, the partnered Ork/Eldar units you formed going to loot to their hearts content. For you, of course, your getting most of everything they loot. As the hours pass, and your looters continue to bring back tech from the broken vessel before you, the need for more parts to repair Da Green Choppa become obvious. The Red Storm, armed with the gravity hooks the Tau are so proud of, pulled it to the Tau space station slowly, the massive hull of the Choppa making it extremely difficult.

    Five hours after having begun looting operations, the Choppa is docked at the station, though without atmosphere in over 67% of its sections. Da Mech Boyz try and repair what they can, assisted by your Tau captives, but it proves impossible. You just don't have the necessary materials.

    There is, however, a populated planet within the system. The Tau archives indicate that there is significant wreckage on the ground, from where they recovered the Warp Drive they had been experimenting with. It is possible the parts you need might be found there. Or, instead of fixing your loot, you could just muck about for a while.

    What do, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:20 No.16090312
    rolled 7 = 7

    cuddle with bubbles
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:27 No.16090360
    rolled 76 = 76

    Experiment with Orks. Try making a CybOrk.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:28 No.16090369
    rolled 99 = 99


    Splicing in Tau and Eldar DNA?

    Or you know, make PIRATES out of the Taus we have.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:29 No.16090379
         File1314509391.gif-(949 KB, 301x300, 1313852977364.gif)
    949 KB
    rolled 6 = 6

    Muckin' about?! MUCKIN' ABOUT?! FUCK THAT!

    We need ourselves a good and proper WAAAAAAGH
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:31 No.16090391
    rolled 7 = 7


    Send a detachment of Tau(with Eldar+Ork escorts, to ensure they don't mukk about or try desertin' or anyfing) to the surface to properly scope out the site of the wreckage and ensure no indigenes get near it, and if they find anything interesting, prepare the site for your arrival.

    Meanwhile, practice changing the mental states of a random Tau from abject misery to ecstacy and so on, to make sure you can hold those Warp-midgets in your sway should push come to shove.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)01:47 No.16090529
    Sitting in your amazingly comfortable captain's chair, you realize that your Tau slaves aren't REAL pirates, just pretend ones. You decide to fix that. But how? The answer is plain as day: MIND CONTROL.

    Congratulating yourself on your brilliance, you do some mental calculations, and determine that you can, in fact, mindcontrolallthesetau.jpg. To do so, however, you'll need to have time to focus your mental energies. Say, four or five days, tops.

    Realizing that that might be sort of bad for your health, considering you wouldn't be able to defend yourself while on board a ship full of Orks, you instead op to build a CybOrk until you can decide whether or not you really want to mind control everyone on board your ships. Leaving the bridge to Bubbles, you take the hall all the way down to Da Lab. Inside, you greet the Oddboyz within, who in turn accidentally light themselves on fire with a Burna. Searching the lab for the proper tools, you have several Tau slaves help you pull a dead Ork onto a table.

    Several hours of surgery later, you close the Ork up. Using your amazing knowledge of Ork technology, you have successfully created the galaxy's first bionic Ork. Better than it was before. Better, stronger, faster.

    The ultimate in Cyborknetics.

    The CybOrk's eyes slowly open as you hit it with a hammer to wake it up.

    "What da zog?"
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:53 No.16090571
    rolled 91 = 91

    Punch it in the face to assert dominance.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)01:55 No.16090580
    rolled 61 = 61


    While yelling, "GET UP YA LAZY GIT!" in true Orky fashion.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:03 No.16090656
    rolled 44 = 44


    Keep an eye on the CybOrk's surface thoughts to make sure he doesn't show signs of being unusually intelligent or devious.

    After we establish dominance by clobbering him.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)02:09 No.16090713
    Telekinetically increasing the force of your punch, you sock the CybOrk in the face to assert your dominance.



    "Uh... dat git, over der."

    The CybOrk points to a Oddboy, who looks up from his experiment and waves. Punching the CybOrk in the face, you tell him to get to work, or get thrown out the airlock. The creature complies, leaving to keep the Tau in line. Its footsteps thunder across the Wraithbone floors, the several tons of metal in his body creating an echo that is audible from multiple rooms away.

    Examining the Ork's surface thoughts, you find what you'd come to expect from Orks, though a bit more calm. It seems the Cogitators you implanted in the Ork are working to make it more rational. Fascinating.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:11 No.16090736
    rolled 46 = 46

    Mind control all the Tau. Give Bubbles a dicking. Et cetera.
    Shouldn't be hard, Alpha Psykers can tear Titans in two with sheer power.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:12 No.16090745

    We've got a whole ton of Tau to experiment on, we can use them to figure out the best way to mind control all of the other Tau on the ship at once later on.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:12 No.16090752
    Surprise sex all the Eldar. All of them.
    Get on with the mind control.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:13 No.16090758
    rolled 43 = 43

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:14 No.16090765
    rolled 97 = 97

    All of these. At once.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:14 No.16090772
    rolled 75 = 75


    Forgot my roll.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:16 No.16090786
    rolled 42 = 42


    Probe the depths of the warp-waves.

    Search for anything Imperial nearby.

    While we're looking for targets, tell Bubbles to get us near that planet where the Tau got their broken ass tech.

    And have our new CybOrk train with "his favorite Tau," and our best Ork Commandoz and Eldar fighters to create some kind of insane, Orky Elite unit.

    And maybe look into Tau breeding habits. We need a stable population if we're going to be making genetically-modified supersoldiers.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:22 No.16090824
         File1314512546.jpg-(269 KB, 500x676, waitingforop.jpg)
    269 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:27 No.16090857
    The fuck happened to OP?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:35 No.16090934
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:36 No.16090937
    It's been almost half an hour. Get your thumb out your ass, OP.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)02:36 No.16090939
    Something inside you tells you it's time. And so it shall be.

    Calling every single Eldar on the ship to your quarters, you begin to gather all the energies you can from the Warp in preparation to mind control every Tau at once. Though they willingly served, it was out of fear alone that they did so. You wanted them to serve for no other reason than because they wanted to. To that end shall you mind control the entire Tau population of your vessels at once.

    As the Eldar begin to enter your quarters, you send out the mental command of "Commence Dickings." The Eldar, sensing your order, find themselves compelled to do so, and soon enough, your ship is partaking in a great orgy, the energies therein only serving to empower your psyker abilities. For hours do the Eldar fuck each other senseless, with you in the middle of it, fucking Bubbles over a hand carved wraithbone desk. It seems to stretch on for months to your warped perception of time, and finally possessing the necessary power, you let out a telepathic pulse, the sheer potency of which shakes the very foundations of the planet nearby. You can feel the Warp itself tearing apart as your spread the minds of every Tau in range, and reconstruct them to suit your needs. First five Tau, then five hundred, then five thousand, then fifty thousand. It is obvious to you that you're reaching out and controlling the Tau on the nearby colony, and yet you cannot help yourself. The power you now wield is addicting.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)02:38 No.16090958

    As you pull upon the very threads of reality, you reach out and contact minds in nearby systems, plucking thoughts from their minds like so many grains of sand. The seeds of doubt you plant in their stead, doubts which will in time grow into a desire to rebel. To rebel against authority, and to rebel against anyone but yourself. But it's not enough. Time and space twist around you, your mind altered irrevocably by your exposure to the Warp. As the Warp energy you hold in your hands dissipates, you feel stranger. More powerful.

    >Gained Ability: Ritualistic Channeling

    Your powers utterly spent, you collapse on the ground, unconscious and barely alive.


    You are floating in an endless void. A bright one, strangely enough. Most voids tend to be dark.

    Feeling a strange presence upon your mind, you turn and touch a familiar mind. Tzeentch.

    "What the fuck was that?"
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:39 No.16090970
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:40 No.16090982
    I think we might have become a Chaos God here, guys.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:42 No.16090995
    rolled 23 = 23

    "Me being fucking awesome, why?"
    >Slaanesh had better be pleased by this. I swear, if that wasn't excessive then nothing is
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:43 No.16091009
    rolled 54 = 54

    oh that, that was the nothing really, just be bending the universe with the power of my mind alone. look upon me and tremble or you know whatever."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:44 No.16091015
    me, not be. I meant to type me
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:44 No.16091017
    rolled 57 = 57


    Oh come on, like you can't tell me that WASN'T part of your plan.

    Or that you wouldn't have done the same.

    ... So why pirates, anyway?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:45 No.16091025

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:45 No.16091029
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:46 No.16091033
    rolled 51 = 51

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:49 No.16091067
    rolled 78 = 78

    um, you tell me, also where am I?
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)02:53 No.16091111
    "Why pirates? Why not pirates? Seemed like a good way to start building an empire, hmm? Besides, I need you to be powerful enough to actually help when the time for it comes. You see... oh. It's you."

    A voice from the void seems to echo through your mind as another crushing presence forces its way past your mental blocks. Waves of pleasure and pain combined fill your body.

    "You were expecting someone else, hun? You're not the only one with investments you want to pay off."

    "Oh, fuck off Slaanesh. He's mine, I told you so."

    "Nope, sorry, you'll just have to share."


    "Go away Khorne, this doesn't concern you."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:55 No.16091131
    rolled 53 = 53


    Oh shit man, is Papa Nurgle here too?

    Can I be a "chaos undivided" champion an' all that shit?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:56 No.16091139
    rolled 58 = 58

    "The fuck is this? Fucking party in my soul? Well, okay, if it's you two. As long as that fat fuck Nurgle's not invited, it's cool."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:56 No.16091140
    rolled 34 = 34

    Kohrne is the obvious choice. 'e gets da WAAAAAGH!

    "when what time comes?"
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:57 No.16091144
    Well shit, our mind will be forever broken.
    Guess we've been called to the warp.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:58 No.16091146
    rolled 12 = 12

    >"when what time comes?"
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)02:58 No.16091152
    rolled 93 = 93

    Bugger off, the lot of you. I'm in this for me.

    And i swear, if I see the slightest hint of mutation anywhere on my fleet I'm going to burn down the warp, all of it.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:00 No.16091170
    Oh, fuck you. You want we should turn into a Fury when we die?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:02 No.16091186
    rolled 61 = 61

    who said we planned on dying?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:03 No.16091208
    Because without Chaos, we're going to die.
    Of old age if nothing else.
    Then, since we're only using Chaos for our own ends, we get to be the shittiest of daemons.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:04 No.16091216
    rolled 90 = 90

    i'm not sure what you mean in this context, the only furies i know of are the greek ones, which may or may not be accurate.

    but no, what i want is power for ourself, not some bloated god who doesn't understand true power, not for some corpse god, or stagnant cog boys. but true power, freedom from those who would manipulate.

    so chaos gods can go blow themselves if they think we'll work for them, they want to chat, that's fine, but they can be more civil than just jumping into our head whenever we exhaust ourselves
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)03:07 No.16091239
    "Ooo. He's a feisty one. I like that. I can see why you chose him, Tzeentchy-poo. Too bad the cat's out of the bag now."


    "Why can't we all share?"

    "Nurgle, PLEASE don't touch me. Ew. Just... ew."

    "Here we go, all arguing until the mortal dies of boredom. Just like last time. This is why we can never beat that asshole on Earth. We can't argree on anything."


    "Because, moron, if you don't we're all gonna get fucked over by you-know-who."


    "Oh, Khorne honey, I never knew you cared."

    "Look, guys, can we just... well great, now he's waking up. You didn't even give me the change t-"


    You open your eyes, and see Bubbles staring down at you. You're back in your quarters, with the void you were just in who knows where. The clock on the wall says it's been ten hours. Hmm.

    "My lord, are you alright? What happened? I felt your power surging through the Warp like a tidal wave, and then you just collapsed."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:07 No.16091240
    rolled 95 = 95

    >freedom from those who would manipulate

    righteous thoughts coming from a captain of a mind-skaved pirate crew
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:09 No.16091256
    >Despite their insignificant status among Daemons, Furies are dangerous predators in their own right. Their leathery wings enable them to strike swiftly, giving them an advantage over many other Lesser Daemons and Daemonic Beasts.
    >It is said that Furies are formed from the souls of mortals who preferred to use Chaos for their own gain rather than seeking the patronage of a Chaos God. Without a deity to claim their souls, they are unable to enter a gods realm and thus forced to spend their existence drifting aimlessly through the warp, exposed to its unpredictable nature. The only respite from their fate is daemonic incursions which allow them to escape into real space and vent their wrath upon an unfortunate mortal.1
    >They are often enslaved and used as hunting beasts by Raptor Cults, particularly the ones of the Night Lords Legion who shun daemonic pacts.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:10 No.16091265
    Uh, Khorne HATES psykers. Why would he want in on it?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:11 No.16091267
    rolled 10 = 10

    they aren't the PC

    I never said we were a /good/ person, just one wanting true freedom, none of the false shit chaos gives you.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:13 No.16091279
    >why would he want in on it
    >Khorne doesn't want in on it at all

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:13 No.16091282
    rolled 83 = 83

    Took over a bunch of planets with the energy from the orgy, then passed out because of the overload.

    Then of course the chaos gods, retards that they are decided that of course i was going to serve them just because i forsook the emperor and went all evil overlord space pirate.

    told them to bugger off and that if they so much as touched my crew I'd burn the warp around their ears.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:14 No.16091289
    rolled 31 = 31

    "Nothing for you to worry your pointy little head over bubbles. Now then, the ritual, did it work?"
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:17 No.16091308
    >tell off the chaos gods like a boss
    >wake up and have to explain self to random eldar
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)03:25 No.16091373
    "I... you threaten the God of Chaos? That's... I don't really understand what you mean, but it must be something different from what I'm hearing."

    She pauses for a minute, checking you for mutations and injuries. The other Eldar and Orks in the room look down at you but continue standing guard. Seeming to find no indication of anything wrong, she speaks up, helping you to your desk chair.

    "We've been receiving several requests to join us from nearby Tau planets. I had wondered what had provoked such behavior, but now I know. I just can't believe that a... person such as yourself could wield so much power. To mindwipe over a million beings? Impossible, even for the mightiest of Eldar. Despite the fact that they're Tau, such a feat has never been done before."

    Closing your eyes for a moment, you feel your strength beginning to return. Mentally, at least. Physically, you can barely move your arm, much less walk.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:28 No.16091401
    >a... person such as yourself
    >almost saying Mon-Keigh

    Y u racist?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:28 No.16091404
    rolled 68 = 68

    "That's because humans are better than you, Bubbles. Remember that, I'll test you on it. Now, let's go get a fleet of shitty Tau ships."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:30 No.16091425
    rolled 78 = 78

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:31 No.16091429
    rolled 86 = 86

    Yeah, chaos gods, the great enemy, the doom of the Eldar and all that noise.

    Told them i'd burn down the warp if they messed with my crew, what's mine is mine, not some puffed up arrogant idea's toy.

    And impossible or not, it appears to be exactly what i have done.

    Now between the Taus technological prowess, the Orks resiliency and the combined psyker powers of myself and all you Eldar, we shall be a force to be reckoned with.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:31 No.16091430
    rolled 5 = 5

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:31 No.16091437
    rolled 76 = 76


    First, yell at the Orkz, and tell them to go get busy doing Orky stuff. If any of them hesitate, use Psyker powers to explode a limb or two.

    Once they're gone, have Bubbles sit us up/down on something reasonably comfortable.

    Then order our "fleet" to move into orbit over the closest planet, presumably the one where the Tau got that warp engine.

    Since we want some dissent to stew, let's take the longer, non-Eldar-quick route.

    Oh, and have Bubbles alert us when we get there.

    And if they want an explanation, we tell them that fueling an orgy while making sure Slaanesh didn't eat their souls is a bit tiring, and thus we must meditate.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:32 No.16091440
    You realize the Tau aren't really very advanced, right? And in fact the Orks have better tech?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:35 No.16091477
    rolled 28 = 28

    After having explained all that has happened... I think we should rest. We have seriously overused our powers this time. Maybe have Bubbles send an exploration crew down to the new pirate planet, and have her take care of most other important business. Also, while she's proven to be one trustworthy girl, not killing us in our sleep and all, I'd still like to search her mind and see what she's thinking, preferably unnoticed.
    If I can't do it unnoticed, give her kind of a mindgasm for her loyalty and check her thoughts while I'm at it.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:37 No.16091497
    rolled 41 = 41

    Yes, but the Tau actually try to understand the technology, which is key

    I don't want the Tau tech, I want them working on captured tech, studying it, rebuilding it, improving it.

    once that happens, well it may even be possible to replicate archeo-tech.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:40 No.16091541
    "Here's some tech tens of thousands of years more advanced than yours, figure it out."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:44 No.16091580
    rolled 11 = 11

    work their way up to it obviously, they reverse engineered plasma technology easily enough, and vastly improved it so it was quite stable and safe (though lower powered)
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:48 No.16091631
    >vastly improved it so it was quite stable and safe (though lower powered)
    So they... made plasma guns, on a lower setting. The Imperium has all plasma guns permanently turned to the highest setting possible. The only higher one is Maximal and that has to recharge after every shot. That's why they're so unstable.

    Still, HOW ARE THEY WORKING UP TO IT? A plasma gun is one thing. STC bullshit made by brilliant AIs is another.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)03:55 No.16091702
    rolled 3 = 3

    you're missing the point, which is that the Tau are capable of innovation in design after having learned the basic principles of how certain tech works, which means that given ample supplies of tech (hello, pirates) they should be able to come up with new weapons and other such things that noone has ever seen before.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)04:04 No.16091793
    Informing Bubbles of humanity's inherent superiority, you explain how by your powers combined, you shall be the greatest captain of all. Planets shall kneel before you with merely a passing glance on your part. Pausing, you order her to ready the Klaw to go into orbit over the Tau planet nearby, as to leave you to rest. Evoking enough power to violate the laws of reality to thoroughly has drained your energy.

    Smiling, Bubbles kisses you lightly and leaves to do her duty, followed by the Eldar, and eventually the Orks, once you yell at them a bit. In the darkness of your quarters you are alone, save for your servoskulls. The sails turning the ship about are the only motion you feel as you drift into a light sleep.

    Taking a break, post ideas and whatever, plan, etc. I'll be back in an hour.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:10 No.16091856
    I say we stop telling the gods to go fuck themselves, so we can be an Undivided daemon prince.
    Fuck, that guy is retarded.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:12 No.16091876
    fuck you, serving chaos only goes well for chaos gods, mortals invariably get fucked over.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:23 No.16091978
    Except the daemon princes, that get incredible power and immortality.
    Lorgar seems to really regret his decision.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:23 No.16091979
    Ok guys, so we're taking over ALL the Tau. But then what? What's our long term goal here?

    Ascension to a higher plane of existence, maybe?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:24 No.16091984
    That IS what being a daemon prince is about.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:28 No.16092003
    Yeah, but with Chaos Undivided, you're relying on others to make you a god.

    We should make ourselves a god, under our own power.

    Like Vecna.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:30 No.16092019
    That simply isn't something that is going to happen. Not in 40k.
    Vecna stole a god's divinity. We can't do that.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:30 No.16092023
    Sindri Myr.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:31 No.16092027
    rolled 12 = 12

    I, too, am rather opposed to becoming a slave to the dark gods, however powerful they may make us. There are drugs to prolong your life and other ways, I don't think we should worry about that all too much.
    For now, we have been very succesful in building a small empire. Good! But the only reason why we have been this succesful is because no one was aware of us, and maybe even because the dark gods were on our side. Soon, we will have the full attention of the Tau or even the human imperium, and then our powers alone may not save us.

    I propose we find a base elsewhere, somewhere in the less populated parts of the galaxy (the west, iirc?), where the arm of the imperium and the Tau doesn't reach. There, we stay for now, amassing power, until we no longer have to hide.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:34 No.16092037
    You mean the one who has done nothing but meditate for several thousand years? yup really yukking it up there.

    Or how about Mortarion, who willingly joined the rebellion, only to be tortured by Nurgles plagues until he succumbed.

    Magnus who watched as his legion first fell to the flesh twisting of tzeentch, then finally becoming automatons when someone tried to stop it?

    then there's the three who died before rising.

    fulgrim was possessed by a demon and is trapped in a tiny corner of his own mind.

    pretty much the only one who got anything out of it that he wanted was angron, and that's just because he's a simple man who only wanted to kill a lot of shit.

    and maybe peterabo.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:36 No.16092051
    By stealing a daemon's power. That isn't becoming a god, just a Daemon Prince.
    Really. What drugs, that you can regularly get outside the Imperium?
    And we will always have to hide, unless and until we get powerful enough to be some kind of warlord.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:38 No.16092060
    The emperor did it.

    Daemons are basically warp stuff given will, right? so they're basically nothing but willpower and energy, so what would happen if we used our "drain willpower" ability on every daemon we came across?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:38 No.16092066
    But still, we'll have done it ourselves. We could probably become as powerful as a Greater Daemon if we really worked at it.

    You saying that isn't worth it?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:39 No.16092071
    Uh, no, Lorgar is happy as a clam. He just is the meditating type.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:41 No.16092087
    I'm saying we're not Sindri.
    Besides, I wanna do what I want 'cause a daemon pirate is free, not rule over a bunch of TAU.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:42 No.16092095
    allright, so two (and probably three, i just couldn't find anything about peterabo after he established his fortress in the eye of terror other than that his legion worshiped him)

    what about the other 6?

    And those were primarchs, beings that were significantly better, more valuable than a mere alpha level psyker, so if they only had a 33% success rate, what do you think yours would be?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:43 No.16092100
    rolled 3 = 3

    We steal the drugs from the imperium. Or we rebuild or body, the flesh is weak and all that. I'm not saying we stay away from the imperium forever, just that we should have our base far away. Of course, we could also just have no base at all, and always be mobile and never stop plundering. Doesn't sound too bad, but having a place to return to in case something goes wrong sounds like a good idea.

    And okay then. We'll always have to hide. I can live with that, as long as we're hiding out in a part of the galaxy where nobody will ever bother us anyway.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:44 No.16092107
    rule over them? fuck no, they're just our support.

    we tell them to do shit for us and they do it, for everything else they can deal with it themselves.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:44 No.16092110
    No, you're right, we're not Sindri. He was a sorcerer, where as we're an Alpha Level Psyker.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:48 No.16092152
    Perturabo is loving it. He became a Daemon Prince by taking revenge on hated enemies.
    The rest... Fulgrim was a fool, Kurze let himself die, Mortarion is Nurglite so despair is kind of his thing anyways, I doubt he complains anymore, Magnus somehow didn't expect to be fucked over by Tzeentch, Horus died, and Alpharius/Omegon have no fluff as to if one or both is even alive.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:50 No.16092174
    And Sindri was much cooler. And significantly smarter.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:54 No.16092207
    So clearly smart wasn't the way to go.

    Clearly the only route left is to use nothing but balls to the wall awesomeness and badassitude.

    Alsp, I'm fairly certain i made up at least three words in that sentence and do not care.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:55 No.16092214
    He still made it to daemon prince.
    He was just banished.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)04:58 No.16092236
    I thought the daemonhammer actually killed him...

    Meh, I haven't played the original DoW in so long i barely remember the story at all, so I'll take your word for it.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)05:04 No.16092275
    You can't "kill" a daemon like that.
    Only specific psychic powers and technology/sorcery specially made to kill a (single) daemon permanently can do that. Otherwise, the Grey Knights would be a LOT more effective.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)05:05 No.16092287
    Alright, I'm back. Also, nostalgic for DoW.

    Turns out I'm tired as fuck, so this thread is on hold until the afternoon, when I can resume it. Sorry.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)05:14 No.16092332
    rolled 51 = 51

    That's alright, thanks for doing this for us. Go get some rest.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)06:22 No.16092815
    You all are mucking about!

    we must start building a fucking empire. give the orks some conquering to do. the eldar titles and functions to assert there power ans superiority over others and structure and job security for the Tau... well security that they will have a job, not against injury or death.

    Thus we must start going on good about taking these planets and putting them to work an a fleet. consolidate our powerbase.

    Then conquer moar planets. perhaps some civilied worlds, and later a hive and perhaps a forge.

    thus. assert control of systems- infrastructure-build fleet Fleet- grow ork army - conquer more , rinse and repeat.

    Also warkry:
    WAAAAAAGH for the WAAAAAGH 'Umie
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)06:23 No.16092821
    derp, forgot dice.

    tl;dr ppl are mucking about.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)06:24 No.16092830
    rolled 35 = 35


    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)06:26 No.16092838
    rolled 11 = 11

    ty for awesome >>16092830 here. one last roll before going to sleep
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)06:39 No.16092920
    rolled 83 = 83



    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)07:11 No.16093139
    rolled 57 = 57

    I agree that we need to build an empire of our own, but it won't last in the middle of the Tau empire.
    Yes, let's do this, but let's start on some undefended fringe worlds.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)07:17 No.16093184
    rolled 24 = 24

    Finish the Green Choppa, and then travel to the nearest space lane, looking for a nice trader to rob.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)08:28 No.16093522
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)10:03 No.16093927
    Well, the OP has died.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)10:13 No.16094002
    rolled 89 = 89

    All we need now in our crew are 'Nids and 'Crons. Chaos Undivided? How about Galaxy Undivided?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)12:46 No.16095364
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)13:11 No.16095574
         File1314551495.jpg-(37 KB, 641x625, 1276052089856.jpg..jpg)
    37 KB
    bump for heresy
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)14:10 No.16096041
         File1314555026.gif-(106 KB, 85x85, 1314397663621.gif)
    106 KB
    Alright, let's do this.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)14:12 No.16096061
    rolled 54 = 54

    OP! Finally! :D
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)14:24 No.16096182
    You awake with a start, your reflexes pulling out your choppa instinctively and pointing it at the door. In vain, it seems. There's nobody there. You recall having some very strange dreams. You were back in the webway, but you weren't in your ship. No, you were lost. Or maybe you were searching for something? Interpreting dreams isn't really one of your skills, so you've honestly no idea what to make of it.

    Examining your surroundings, nothing has really changed. The servoskulls still float silently, guarding your quarters. The various heretek devices on your workbench are undisturbed, and the ceiling is still projecting an image of the galaxy, slowly rotating. Everything is very calm. Serene.

    Leaving your quarters, you realize that isn't so outside of its sanctuary. Orks Eldar and Tau are rushing to and fro, putting out fires and repairing damage. The alert level, strangely enough, is still at 5. Peaceful. Hmm.

    Taking a moment to look out the window, you spot two Tau escorts floating in a low orbit over a life-bearing planet. While not as powerful as your cruisers, they are still extremely deadly foes, primarily due to their stealth technology.

    Looking closer, you discover the Tau escorts to have giants gaping holes in them. Also, there are dead Tau floating around in space. But nobody cares about them anyways.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)14:25 No.16096185
    rolled 98 = 98

    Alright, so, in my opinion, we have to valid paths in front of us right now. We can either stay here, try to recruit more Tau, and establish a base. This will inevitably give us the attention of the Tau empire, as we just seemingly got a few million of their subjects to join our cause.
    Or we can rebuild the Ork ship (possibly merge it with the Red Storm) and leave this place, possibly after pretending to establish a base on the Tau planet, and then leaving them to die fighting their former masters. First one would give us a huge fleet, but an even bigger enemy, second one would be more careful. The Chaos question still has to be solved too, but I think we can leave that one for later - right now, the character simply has doubts.

    I think we should rebuild Da Green Choppa, make friends with the Tau, then leave them and find a base elsewhere.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)14:28 No.16096221
    That's... not good.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)14:32 No.16096256
    rolled 18 = 18

    Alright, so before we fell asleep, we went into orbit above that Tau planet. Get Bubbles here, RIGHT NOW! I want a full report about what happened while I was asleep!
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)14:46 No.16096383

    Yelling for your first officer, you make your way towards the bridge as you reach out and call her to you with your mind. A massive gash in the side of the Klaw gives you pause, but you soon find a corridor that goes around it. As you reach the halfway point to the bridge, you hear Bubbles shouting at someone to get out of the way, and shortly afterward see her running up to you. She's a bit out of breath, and appears to be very nervous.

    "My lord, I'm so sorry. The escort ships came out of nowhere. Out sensors couldn't even detect them until they fired."

    Demanding a full report, Bubbles takes a moment to compose herself, and begins.

    "We entered orbit over the planet about an hour after instructed to. Our first action was to begin recovering the wreckage from which the Tau got the Warp Drive, but soon afterward we encountered the natives. They demanded to speak with you personally, and when I denied them that right they got angry. When I brought the materials back on board the ship, the escorts opened fire almost immediately. I don't think they actually realized you were here though, sir."

    She pauses for a moment, allowing an Ork carrying a piece of machinery to pass by.

    "Our comm array is currently down, so we can't communicate with the Tau on the planet. We're currently in the process of seeing if we can 'loot' the enemy ships."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)14:52 No.16096443
    rolled 99 = 99

    Sounds like she did her best considering the circumstances. Praise her for her hard work and dedication. For now, there's not much that we can do, except for letting people repair the ship, looting, and waiting for the comm to go back online. I guess for now, repairing is more important than looting, we should probably concentrate on that first. Unless Bubbles thinks we need the parts for the repairs or something.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)14:56 No.16096486
    rolled 55 = 55

    Actually, if our sendors didn't see the enemy ships before, they'll probably fail again. Can we use our psychic powers to check for nearby threats?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:12 No.16096683
    rolled 72 = 72

    So much this, loyalty and effort are to be rewarded and praised.

    Grant her a request, if she asks it we shall give it.

    On top of that as the victorious fleet, once we land on the planet and finish sacking the major city for its rebellion we shall have a major party, with whatever intoxicants of their races choice (some of the Tau catering of course).

    Ask Bubbles to be your escort.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)15:14 No.16096706
    Praising her for doing well under pressure, you order Bubbles to get back to repairing the ship. As she departs, you take a moment to send out a ping through the Warp. Detecting large numbers of Tau on the planet below, you fail to detect any other ships in the system hostile to you. Returning to your quarters, you begin the arduous task of waiting for something interesting to happen.

    After a few hours of boredom, you finally get your chance. Bubbles has called you over the intercom, claiming to have fixed the comm array. She is now in the process of hailing the Tau leadership on the planet below. In addition, it is entirely possible that the Tau escort ships she disabled will function again, though The Red Storm would have to take them to the asteroid belt station so that the repairs could commence. In either case, Bubbles requests your presence on the bridge, the planet-bound Tau seeming to wish to speak with you.

    Leaving your quarters, you make your way through the partially repaired hallways, upwards, into the heart of the ship. Soon enough, you find yourself in the command center, greeted by Bubbles and her officers. They bow slightly, before getting back to work.

    "Sir, the Tau are awaiting my next message, and are threatening to kill anyone who lands on the planet. I thought you might convince them to stand down. "
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:19 No.16096753
    rolled 52 = 52

    Fire on them from orbit, then send them a message. Your souls are mine, I'm your new god, etc etc and so forth.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:19 No.16096755
    Build the planet into a ship. Then, try to contact Malal.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:19 No.16096757
    rolled 87 = 87

    Before we deal with the Tau, address your Eldar and Tau crew.

    Chastise them for insufficient orkiness, which led to this mess in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:20 No.16096770
    rolled 95 = 95

    You have disappointed me, your sudden swing of loyalty should have warned you that I am powerful, then you decided to ignore my appointed messengers and attack them because I would not deign to speak with rats.

    *target any large power sources Re. vehcles, battlesuits and plasma weapons and attack them from orbit using precision weapons
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:29 No.16096867
    rolled 48 = 48

    Oh yeah, almost forgot, after we do this,
    Then we do this, because Bubbles did good work, and fuck yeah, parties.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:32 No.16096912
    rolled 87 = 87

    I second this motion.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)15:54 No.16097157
    Grabbing the intercom, you announce to the whole ship that if they had been more Orky, this wouldn't have happened. Chastising them for their failures, you command them to become more Orky, that they might fail less next time. Your hurtful comments on their lack of Orkiness seem to depress the bridge personnel, but they try to hide it. Even the CybOrk seems to be chastened.

    Ordering Bubbles to open the hailing channel to the Tau planet, you find yourself face to face with an odd seven Tau, all of whom seem to be shocked at your having hailed them. Expressing your disappointment with their attempts to rebel against your implanted suggestions, you order Bubbles to begin firing on their power production facilities.

    As she begins to target the ground-based reactors, the Tau shout at you to stop. Begging you to not fire upon them, they apologize profusely for not having realized you were aboard Mork's Klaw, and swear they had no way of knowing. Pretending to pause at this, you tell Bubbles to fire when ready. The Tau continue to beg for forgiveness up until the Klaw opens fire on one of their power plants. A massive cloud of flame and death erupts around the plant, as the laser weaponry aboard the Klaw vaporizes it almost instantly.

    The bridge view screen switches back to the Tau leadership moments later, the image of the exploded reactor disappearing from view. They're sitting down, horrified with what you've done. Laughing a bit, you tell them to prepare a celebration for your arrival, informing them that their planet is now your property.

    You cut the line and look over at Bubbles.
    >"Care to escort me to the party?"

    "I'd be honored."

    The party is 27 hours away. What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:56 No.16097181
    Hooray for poisoning their atmosphere by exploding a power plant! Good job everyone!

    I'm sure Nurgle will be pleased.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:57 No.16097187
    rolled 4 = 4

    Construct a device to scientifically calculate your level of maniacal evil, using the Megahitler as a baseline measurement.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)15:57 No.16097191
    rolled 100 = 100

    Formal-wear for all who wish t, bikinis and nudity may be uniform, but this party shall be fancy dress!
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:00 No.16097214
    rolled 66 = 66

    please let that mean we get Orks in tux's because the delicious irony would be delicious.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:00 No.16097221
    rolled 84 = 84

    Okay... do we have any kind of... you know... wardrobe? Even an orky guy like us should bring his best game when going out with a lady like bubbles, right? Maybe the CybOrk can help us find something good.

    Apart from that... we have had some weird dreams lately. We should try to find out about those. Maybe find an Eldar Psyker, maybe just brood over it...
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:03 No.16097239
    rolled 74 = 74

    >while looking for formal wear, they all stumble upon a piece of archeotech
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:04 No.16097251
    rolled 52 = 52

    Eventually we need to find and loot the Black Library, and use the forbidden tomes within as ammunition for some kind of Linear Heresy Cannon.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:06 No.16097273
    rolled 2 = 2

    Also to make an anti-major demon gun in case the chaos gods decide to get uppity again.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:07 No.16097284
    Three different things do to while the party is on:
    1.Turn the party slowly into an orgy, then a massacre.
    2. Try to get Daemons to invade.
    3. Build the planet into a ship when everyone else has dropped drunk.
    What does the elegan/tg/entlemen want?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:09 No.16097303
    rolled 87 = 87

    neither of the first two, though the third would be great.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:10 No.16097322
    rolled 29 = 29

    Though admittedly if the demons invaded we could test whether or not our drain willpower ability would absorb demons outright.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:11 No.16097329

    Nope. Fuck daemons. If the Chaos gods decide to help out, fine, but we aren't here to do their bitch work.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:13 No.16097348
    rolled 72 = 72

    Out of those? 3.
    1 sounds bad because of massacre, I like my minions right now. They're useful and seem loyal.
    2 sounds bad because Chaos, we just insulted their gods and should probably try not to get too involved with them for now.
    3 sounds awesome, but we'd probably have to roll at least two 100s consecutively for that to happen. Still, it would be awesome.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)16:18 No.16097387
    >to get your crew suits to wear

    Leaving the bridge to find something to wear, you tell Bubbles to have the crew dress their best for the party. As you make your way to your quarters, you look down through the side of the ship to the planet below. It's yours now. All of it.

    Finally reaching your room, you order your servoskulls to get you a suitable uniform to wear to the party. They leave immediately, and return extremely quickly with the most glorious suit you've ever seen. It appears they had recovered it from Da Green Choppa after your ship had disabled it.

    >Found Archeotech Dress Uniform!
    >Found Strange Gold Ring!

    The suit is a perfect fit, and seems to flow with your body as if it wasn't there. It may have other functions.

    The ring that came with it seems to be some manner of device, though you can't figure out how to activate it.

    Exiting your quarters, you spot several Orks attempting to put on tuxedos, with some measure of success. One of them has a top hat and a monocle, while another has a cane.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:19 No.16097401
    we are a alpha level ginger/psyker, remember? it would be easy to mind control all on the planet to do it for us when they are drunk.

    How about making the ship look like our face?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:20 No.16097427
         File1314562849.jpg-(51 KB, 444x366, 428cc1758a.jpg)
    51 KB
    >found archeotech dress uniform
    >your ork crewmen are now wearing tuxedos
    >one of them has a monocle
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:24 No.16097467
    rolled 4 = 4

    Find Eldar Psyker to speak about what's happening with those dreams, if we have one.
    Also, we have quite a lot of Archeotech now. Get all the techy minions we have together and investigate it.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:24 No.16097469
    rolled 84 = 84

    Lets not wear the ring to a formal party filled with all our crew until we know what it does, I'd much prefer to not accidentally kill everyone.

    Work with the Orks teaching them to wear the suits properly. Tell them it's a new type of Kamoflage.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:28 No.16097501
    rolled 16 = 16

    OH! Oh. Compliment the boyz with the monocle, the top hat and the cane on their awesome looks! Seriously, these guys know how to go to a party in style!
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)16:53 No.16097742
    Over the next three hours you teach da boyz how ta look propa in polite company, making sure they can tie ties and link cuffs, Though at first they find it ridiculous, soon enough their attitude changes, almost as if they'd been affected by the Warp, or had a rogue gene activated. They begin to speak in an old dialect of high gothic, using words such as 'proppa' and 'indubitably'. Within the day, they're holding conversations with themselves in this new dialect, talking about the weather and discussing pugilism.

    >Your Orks are now disguised as GentleOrks.


    Your crew has just arrived on the surface of the planet, your personal shuttle landing on a pad towards the top of a massive tower in the center of the primary Tau city. Before you, the Tau leaders stand, barely preventing themselves form cowering in fear. At your side stands Bubbles, dressed like a proper lady. The Tau leaders speak.

    "Wel-welcome to Tch'tal my lord."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)16:56 No.16097769
    rolled 16 = 16

    I am pleased with this. They shall lead me to the festivities. The preparations had better be ready by now.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:00 No.16097790
    T'chal eh? You know who got t'chal? My parents. With bullets. In an alley.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:02 No.16097800
    rolled 76 = 76


    time to feast, take Bubble by the hand and have our GentleOrks converse with the Tau on our way to the feast
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:02 No.16097804
    rolled 70 = 70

    Indeed I am, now show us to the party, we have much to celebrate, and I shall inform you of your duties to me on the way.

    Offer your arm to Bubbles.

    You shall govern this world in my name, provide crew for my ships and your industrial base shall provide new ships when demanded, other than that you may live your lives as you see fit, though news of anarchy and destruction will... anger me.

    ships constructed in my name will remain in the system prepared to defend it unless I call for them, or they are needed to defend another system in my hegemony.

    On top of that you shall produce necessary materials to support the ships you produce, food, drink, entertainment.

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:08 No.16097840
         File1314565702.png-(26 KB, 166x185, SneeringImperialist2.png)
    26 KB
    rolled 53 = 53


    you know that this is fucking gold to subvert, infiltrate and eventually conquer the entire Tau empire, right?

    Not only that but we now have unlooked our true mainstay of our army!

    Seriously humans and tau's and others everywhere will be baffled by us and our orks, and if other orks do not conform to our style, well... you all know what the British did to savages.
    Pirate Chaos Gentlemany Orks!
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:18 No.16097906
         File1314566286.jpg-(71 KB, 500x500, 6QgrzbXoin4yx8pmmhUDpfkro1_500.jpg)
    71 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:29 No.16098000
    rolled 32 = 32


    Fool , we can't loose or only competent and trustworthy aide thus far. not until we cultivate another one!

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)17:35 No.16098052
         File1314567350.gif-(71 KB, 300x227, ParrotPartyHard.gif)
    71 KB
    Taking Bubbles by the hand, you enter the tower, followed by the Tau leaders. Explaining their new role, you deign to allow them to retain their positions, so that they might govern the Tch'tal in your name. They would answer to you, and provide you with whatever you may need when you need it. You would allow them to remain relatively free as a reward for their service, and let them have a limited military to defend themselves. Everyone in their government would of course be answerable to you as well.

    Having heard your demands, they Tau leaders seem to be relieved, at least so far as their position in the planet's society goes. They were obviously worried about their losing power, but now that you've informed them they will retain their former rank, they're much less fearful than previously. And so do they happily open the doors to the party with a flourish, bowing as you pass with your GentleOrks in tow.

    The party is truly grand, by Tau standards. An excess of food and entertainment abounds, with nothing uncared for. The Tau pirates who had joined your crew are already enjoying themselves, along with the Eldar and most of the Orks. At your entrance, they all stand at attention for a moment, before you signal them to relax and get back to PARTYING.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:36 No.16098059
    rolled 93 = 93

    no, the tau leaders are the ones who are going to rule, the arm is just to escort bubbles who is our escort for the night, she is to remain our second in command, IE she speaks in our name to everybody.

    not going to bother setting up a government on worlds we conquer, they have their own already set up, they just pay tribute.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:40 No.16098087
    rolled 37 = 37

    It is a party therefore we must DANCE!
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:45 No.16098124
    rolled 12 = 12

    I assume that the archeotech suit enables us to fight and dance like a BOSS, like in that movie with Jackie Chan. Try to find a way to activate dance function.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:46 No.16098142
    Show Bubbles and the rest of the Eldar pirate wenches a mind shredding little number from Mars they call...the Humpty Dance.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:47 No.16098149
    rolled 99 = 99


    Now with more dice rolling.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:49 No.16098167
    rolled 16 = 16

    now you've gone and made me look it up.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:54 No.16098218
         File1314568459.jpg-(36 KB, 329x357, 1238131023253.jpg)
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    The Humpty Dance

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)17:56 No.16098233
    rolled 15 = 15

    After that follow it up with "Can't touch this"
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)17:56 No.16098239
         File1314568618.gif-(35 KB, 300x394, Party_Hard_awesome.gif)
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    The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the hump
    Do the Humpty Hump, come on and do the Humpty Hump
    Do the Humpty Hump, just watch me do the Humpty Hump
    Do ya know what I'm doin', doin' the Humpty Hump
    Do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

    Black people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
    White people, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump
    Puerto Ricans, do the Humpty Hump, just keep on doin' the hump
    Samoans, do the Humpty Hump, do the Humpty Hump

    The entire party is entranced by your amazing display of dancing prowess. Though it continues after you've finished, your dance will be forever burned into their brains.

    With the party moving along smoothly, more and more people start to dance, as the flashing lights and harmless lasers compel them to move with the pounding bass and electric pulses of sound. You're told the Tau call this kind of thing a 'Rave'.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:04 No.16098305
    rolled 83 = 83

    Chat with Bubbles, appear approachable hold polite conversation with those who approach you.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:08 No.16098339
    rolled 85 = 85

    While it is fine to enjoy oneself, let's keep alert. Make sure your mental defenses are active in case of subliminal psychic attack via the medium of this..."Dub Step", as they call it.

    Flaunt the hell out of your Eldar bitches as well. You got the power, no sense not showing it off.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:09 No.16098346
    rolled 48 = 48

    Yeah, let's just ensure the rest of the party is a success. Shall we use our powers to make it even better? I suppose we could turn it into an orgy... but somehow, I feel like I want to keep chatting with Bubbles... we have never really spoken to each other very much, honestly, except in our function as her boss. Let's find out more about her.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:11 No.16098359

    mind read the Tau politicians that are holding the party make sure they aren't plotting to kill us, also mind read Bubbles for shits and giggles
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:13 No.16098379
    rolled 60 = 60


    dammit forgot my dice
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:13 No.16098380
    rolled 60 = 60

    Naah, no powers, while it's possible to mind control everyone to happiness with your rule, it sounds like a lot of extra work, easier to just let morale improve on its own.

    On top of that, we've already shown off our groove, so we can just sit back and let everybody else enjoy themselves.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:23 No.16098444
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)18:43 No.16098624
    Maintaining your psychic shield, you make sure to carefully keep an eye on the feelings of those around you, lest the music warp their perceptions against you. You've heard the Tau are rather fond of mind-affecting technologies.

    With your defenses up and at full strength, you decide to take the time to flaunt your wealth and power. Having several of your Eldar crewmembers engage in a minor performance, their natural psyker abilities captivate many of the Tau, including those who had been tasked with servicing your crew. Performing an ancient Eldar dance off the cuff, it is, while less impressive than normal, sufficiently fantastic and alien to the Tau to warp their perceptions of time. Your perception of time, however, is already very warped, and as such passes for you at a steady rate. But for the others, time passes like a blur of motion and song. For over three hours do the Eldar perform, with their audience captivated not only mentally, but spiritually as well. Feeling the pull of the Warp upon the room, you can practically taste the mind-twisting energies abounding.

    Twenty hours later, and the party is winding down. Many of your crewman had left to... socialize with the natives, with most of the party-goers remaining being Orks. A few Eldar stragglers are around, though all of them had left previously, only to return later. You and Bubbles are alone in a private booth, having been discussing the logistics of their tribute with the Tau leaders up until several minutes ago. The sun is setting in the east as, with the bright green sky giving way to a black blanket of stars.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:48 No.16098682
    rolled 48 = 48

    Kiss bubbles on the cheek.

    It has been a wonderful evening my dear, and i thank you for being such a wonderful escort, but i must get my rest, great things on the horizon.

    Return to your quarters and meditate on your dreams,

    Give the on duty crew orders to bring all ships back to the asteroid station for repairs as soon as all crew-members return.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:49 No.16098694
    rolled 8 = 8

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:50 No.16098697
    rolled 16 = 16

    Mind Read Bubbles. Haven't ever quite gotten around to doing this yet.

    Also inquire why she isn't presently on your dick, and suggest she remedy that.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:53 No.16098754
    rolled 8 = 8


    since our crewmembers are "socializing" we should be also "socializing" with Bubbles too, lets ask her about what she thinks about us, her life before becoming a pirate etc.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:53 No.16098758
    rolled 20 = 20

    Let's just watch the sunset on this alien world together with our alien Lady for a little while, the party has been fun, but still quite draining. Then let's return to our quarters afterwards.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:56 No.16098788
    rolled 72 = 72

    let's talk to Bubbles, we still don't really know her
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:56 No.16098795
    rolled 36 = 36

    I wonder if she'll want to talk about that... even remembering her past might be painful to her, we did just rip her out of her old life and then broke her mind and the minds of all her loved ones after all.
    I feel like an ass... never get feelings for your mindbreak victim, guys.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:57 No.16098799
         File1314572229.jpg-(58 KB, 720x821, 1231804980098.jpg)
    58 KB
    rolled 18 = 18

    Giving a shit about your subordinates is for pussies. Tear the thoughts from Bubble's mind, with a token attempt to keep her sane and alive as you do so.

    Get on the vox and order all ships to doubletime the repairs.

    Prepare a cunning and brutal plan for your next conquest.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:58 No.16098811

    Have a cultural exchange with Bubbles and by that I mean engage the freakiest sex acts the two of you know

    In the morning, meet with the Tau commence proppa lootan of this planet
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:58 No.16098819

    Fuck. I think I blew my luck load on the Humpty Dance.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)18:58 No.16098820
    rolled 41 = 41


    Oops, forgot the roll
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:06 No.16098924
    rolled 78 = 78

    Reveal myself as the Emperor reborn.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:07 No.16098938
    rolled 47 = 47

    massage Bubble's ears
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)19:14 No.16099014
    Asking Bubbles about her history, she blushes a bit, claiming to be very uninteresting. Pressing her further, you convince her to tell you about herself. Her background, her goals, etc. She gives in to your wish for knowledge and tells you of her life. She was born on a Craftworld, but due to her family's history, she was always a bit of an outcast. Large numbers of her family had become Dark Eldar during the fall, to such an extend that her family name was now thought of as a curse. But she was undeterred by the constant insults to her person. She wanted to explore the galaxy, and fight against Chaos to redeem her family. So she trained to become a Ranger, and left her craftworld for the universe at large.

    For a hundred years she wandered, joining and leaving multiple permanent Ranger groups. Until she almost met her end at the hands of a group of cultists. Even as she slew them all, they managed to summon a Daemon, one whom she was no match for. A passing Eldar cruiser managed to save her, however, firing on the creature with precision weapons from a low orbit. In return for her salvation, she swore to serve the ship for as long as she was needed. That ship was Mork's Klaw.

    "And that's my story. Not very interesting, I know."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:19 No.16099072
    rolled 53 = 53

    >Even as she slew them all, they managed to summon a Daemon, one whom she was no match for. A passing Eldar cruiser managed to save her, however, firing on the creature with precision weapons from a low orbit. In return for her salvation, she swore to serve the ship for as long as she was needed. That ship was Mork's Klaw.

    No further mention of the daemon? Mind Read her for fucks sake! After you put up all possible psychic defenses!
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:20 No.16099086
    rolled 46 = 46

    Nonsense, it's your life, with you as the main character, It's Exactly what it should be as it has brought you to me.

    Just remember your hatred of Chaos, those bastards are probably going to try something underhanded this time since i told them to bugger off the last time.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:20 No.16099094
    rolled 47 = 47

    This. That shit be suspicious, yo!
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:20 No.16099095
    rolled 2 = 2


    we now tell her our life story before we became a pirate, now after that it's time to know each other more intimately in the private booth
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:23 No.16099123
    rolled 38 = 38

    We'll tell her that to the contrary, we've found her story very interesting, and thank her for sharing it with us. It is getting quite late now though, and the sun has probably already set - we should return to our quarters. And perhaps invite her in with us.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:27 No.16099145
    rolled 89 = 89

    How is it suspicious? You think she's possessed, or that she's just plain lying?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:27 No.16099155
    rolled 26 = 26

    inquire further on the daemon she fought
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:28 No.16099166

    Either one is dangerous.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:28 No.16099168
    rolled 19 = 19

    How is it suspicious? You think she might be possessed, or just plain lying?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:30 No.16099184
    rolled 57 = 57

    We would have noticed daemons when we attacked all the eldar in the very beginning and also when we decided to mind control several star systems into obedience, they're pretty distinct.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:32 No.16099201
    rolled 71 = 71

    I doubt we could've missed someone being possessed by a daemon, with our level of power, but I think we should check just in case anyways.

    I don't want our arrogance to lead to problems further down the road.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:35 No.16099223
    rolled 8 = 8

    I just had a brilliant idea. Using our phenomenal cosmic power, transplant Ork minds into Eldar bodies. Best of both worlds.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:40 No.16099267
    rolled 1 = 1

    Frail weak bodies with no psykic powers that only want to physically krump things? yeah, what could go wrong.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:41 No.16099279
    rolled 2 = 2


    Like I said before, why not go all Orky Eksperiment Time here and make some Human/Eldar/Ork/Tau super-soldier hybrid?
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)19:45 No.16099319
    No quite buying her story of the Daemon, you continue the conversation regarding the planet as a distract as you summon up the power of the Warp. With your energies being gathered, you reach out with your mind, probing and prodding at the memories of Bubbles. As you begin to penetrate her thoughts, she seems visibly disturbed, though you manage to hide your use of the Warp well enough for her to ignore it.

    With your mental tendrils locked deep within her subconscious, you scan for any information relating to the Daemon she claims to have been defeated by. Not finding anything at first, you soon discover what you're looking for. She was not lying about being defeated by the Daemon, but she was lying about fighting against the cultists who summoned it.

    In truth, she had directed the cultists into summoning it, in a vain and foolish attempt to trap it. She had sought to learn of a planned attack on her Craftworld, never realizing that the plan had been a ruse, a plot by the Dark Gods to have her summon the Daemon into the Materium. Once unleashed, the Daemon ravaged the human world it had been brought to, killing hundreds of thousands. It would have used their energies to summon more Daemons from the Warp, that it might stage an attack on the Imperium of Man, were it not for the timely arrival of an Eldar fleet. They purged the system of life, having foreseen the Daemon army encroaching on Eldar territory years down the line. Bubbles was the only survivor, the only Eldar in the system. She had denied knowledge of how the Daemons had been summoned from the Immaterium, she had succeeded in convincing the captain of Mork's Klaw of the truth of her words, and she had become a member of the cruiser's staff.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)19:46 No.16099325
    Pulling your mind from hers with a sharp mental tug, you return your interest to your conversation. Bubbles seems to wince at the sudden shift in Warp energy, and looks around as if expecting something. Finding nothing of interest, she continues to discuss the logistics of supplying food to your fleet.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:47 No.16099329
    rolled 39 = 39

    How many humans do we have again?

    ...right. One. I think we're not using that one for experiments.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:48 No.16099350
    rolled 81 = 81


    "Trying to fool a man who has spoken to Great Planner himself?"

    >Press our lips to hers.

    "Foolish, Bubbles, very foolish. You mush be punished..."

    >Begin sexing her up.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:49 No.16099360
    rolled 97 = 97

    Meh, Eldar dickery, same old same old.

    Cuddle tiem!
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:50 No.16099368
    rolled 59 = 59


    Lets suggest that she'd much rather look into the logistics of our cock in her mouth and call it a night.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:51 No.16099378
    rolled 92 = 92

    See, guys? Nothing to see here. She just screwed up that time. Badly.

    Well, let's quickly wrap the conversation up for now then, and return to the ship.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:51 No.16099381
    rolled 81 = 81

    With the party ending, we must regather our crew that has spread out over the town. There is only one way to do this.

    A conga line.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:52 No.16099398
    rolled 66 = 66


    Rolling to fuck her so hard her head explodes so we can get on with the pirating and psykering.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)19:53 No.16099412
    rolled 82 = 82

    Engage in acts depraved enough to give Slaanesh twelve hard ons
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:02 No.16099503
    rolled 16 = 16

    Just saying sex one more time, not because it adds anything, but simply on the off chance that I'll roll a 100.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:03 No.16099513
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:08 No.16099582
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:09 No.16099598
    rolled 34 = 34

    because i cant roll dice
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:14 No.16099681
    rolled 43 = 43

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:17 No.16099723
    rolled 5 = 5

    Why is everything sex with you guys? Honestly.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:22 No.16099782
    rolled 42 = 42

    Hey, I asked for cuddles, and the dice gods clearly agreed with me that it was a good idea.

    Fuck yeah still got the highest roll.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)20:24 No.16099806
    What the hell, you figure everyone makes mistakes in their life. Her's wasn't even that big of a deal. A few hundred thousand dead, who cares? Not you at any rate. You'd much rather cuddle up to Bubbles and hang out for a while. So you do, pulling her close to you and continuing your conversation. She seems to be uncomfortable with the whole situation for a moment, still feeling the aftereffects of your stealthy intrusion into her memory, but soon enough she warms up to it.

    As the hours grow late and you and she continue to talk, the party fades out of existence, the Orks taking to mucking about elsewhere, and those few Tau and Eldar that remained pairing up and leaving. Finally, with nothing else to talk about, Bubbles gets up to leave, brushing her hand against you arm but showing you not other affection. Through the Warp, you can feel her thinking about her time as a Ranger, the thought being familiar enough to you to be easily sensed. You did, after all, invade her mind.

    You have returned to the Klaw, and are now alone in your quarters, sitting at your desk. Designs for an infrantry version of the Supa Dakka Choppa Shoota are laid out on the wooden surface. Thinking of heretical technologies of such power makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:25 No.16099827
    >infantry version of the Supa Dakka Choppa Shoota
    >Supa Dakka Choppa Shoota

    LOL WUT.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:30 No.16099880
         File1314577803.jpg-(80 KB, 685x907, 1211872092888.jpg)
    80 KB
    rolled 44 = 44

    Suddenly, an Eversor!
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:30 No.16099882
    rolled 43 = 43

    Why did we stop with ONE ORK?

    I suggest we (ab)use our Tau, Eldar, Ork, and Human technologies to convert most of the crew into Super Cyborgs! Think of it, with Wraithbone legs, Tau blasters, Ork Choppas, and Human AWESOME, our Gentle Orks, Eldar Pirates, and Tau Mind Slaves will be UNSTOPPABLE.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:32 No.16099921
    rolled 11 = 11

    Do we have the... Green Choppa? The ork ship. Running again? I think not. we should fix it.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:33 No.16099937
    rolled 42 = 42


    We need to make a SUPER ORKY TAU/ELDAR thing.

    Maybe combine everything for the lulz.



    Maybe a set of power armor? With the sturdiness of Human engineering, the lightweight/litheness of Eldar technology, combined with Tau stealth/plasma technology put together using the reality-warping abilities of the Orkz!

    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:36 No.16099966
    rolled 61 = 61

    Bring all the damaged ships back to the asteroid base for repairs.

    Meditate on your dreams.

    After done with your dreams open your mind to what is happening in this stellar region, especially things such as potential targets for a raid.

    Keep an eye out for Dark Eldar especially.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:36 No.16099970
    rolled 91 = 91


    let's go back to the captured Tau space station to prepare the making and testing of the weapon
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)20:38 No.16099994
    rolled 83 = 83

    This. Those dreams are important, as are the ships.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)21:03 No.16100242
    You spend the next few hours working on the design, as those crewmen still ashore return to Mork's Klaw and get back to their duties. It takes Bubbles several hours more to get them all in line, many of them being too busy bragging about their sexual conquests to notice that the engines are on fire. Finally, with your crew under control, the Klaw leaves the orbit of Tch'tal, on its way back to the tau space station with enough materials to begin repairing Da Green Choppa. As you pull into port, Da Choppa is plainly visible, still full of holes and still completely inactive. A bit of plasma is venting from its rear section, as the engines cool to almost freezing temperatures. It will still be several days before the interior of the ship begins to lower in temperature, however. A vacuum does not make for a good conductor of heat.

    As you dock with the station, you order those within to prepare the forges for your arrival. With the plans for the infantry version of the SDCS in hand, you are accompanied by the CybOrk into the station. Most of it still possesses that charm which Tau architecture has, with smooth edges and nary a right angle in sight. But towards the bottom of the station, next to the gravity generators, you've carved an entire ship's worth of space into the massive asteroid the station is build out of. Almost 2 square kilometers of space, within which is housed dozens of Ork/Tau forges and generators. Lightning seems to arc between the ceiling and the generators at random, the material the asteroid is made of somehow attracting the rogue sparks that occasionally fly off the plasma reactors.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)21:06 No.16100269
    And it is here, within this great forge, that you begin crafting your new weapons. Your Orks pound away at the metal, as Tau workers pull the pieces into place by the truckload, straining to move the massive amounts of materials needed. All the while, you prepare the technologies to be built into the titanium shells. Combining Tau railguns, Eldar shuriken carbines, and bits of Ork shootas, you craft a hundred exoskeleton frames, which your Orks weld into place. Tau workers attach the gubbins to the weapons soon afterward, with a few accidental deaths disrupting an otherwise perfect production line.

    >100 SDCS-ICs made

    Your Ork Mekboyz have informed you that Da Green Choppa will take several days to completely repair. They think that its extremely damaged frame might work to your advantage, however. Ship-scale SDCSs might replace the singular lance that's currently mounted on its bow, giving it a far more destructive and less energy draining weapons system.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)21:07 No.16100277
    However, doing so would require stripping away some of the hull, giving it about 30% less armor than it had before.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:09 No.16100292
    rolled 43 = 43

    Make it so.

    Meditate on dreams/find dark eldar.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:14 No.16100337
    rolled 83 = 83


    Go ahead with the retrofit, but add more engines, improve it's ability to maneuver, and paint it red.

    And maybe add some Tau plasma bits onto it so it can shoot a bit more while the main cannon charges.

    We'll call it Da Red Dakka from now on.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:16 No.16100368
    rolled 42 = 42

    I'm not exactly sure why we're trying to find Dark Eldar, but yes, put in the SDCS into our ship. Also, while we're meditating on those dreams, we might try to find out more about these things in other ways. Does Bubbles know an expert in Warp Lore? Considering her past, would she know about this stuff?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:18 No.16100380
    rolled 77 = 77

    Because only Dark Eldar know where commoragh is in the webway, so we need to mind raep them for the location.

    How else are we going to attack the place?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:20 No.16100403
    rolled 57 = 57

    Test that ring we found. See what it can do.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:22 No.16100434
    This seems like the right place for this.
    From /d/ with love.

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)21:24 No.16100454
         File1314581078.jpg-(74 KB, 630x592, 1279825525453.jpg)
    74 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:29 No.16100515
         File1314581364.gif-(397 KB, 400x386, 1296849163072.gif)
    397 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:29 No.16100520
    rolled 68 = 68

    We're still doing this?
    I was under the impression that Tzeentch said "make them pirates", one Anon said "Set sail for Commoragh", and then we all started having other plans... even if Tzeentch really did want us to go there, we pretty much told him to go fuck himself. I'm not sure there's a reason to go there any more? Sure, there's loot I guess. But there's plenty loot in other places...?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:34 No.16100568
    rolled 72 = 72

    tzeentch said nothing about commoragh, he said make them pirates, we decided on commoragh because eldar crew afaik.

    And as for a reason, the dark eldar have thousands of slaves already broken, should be our and out easy to steal them and make them loyal to our cause.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:35 No.16100584
         File1314581723.jpg-(7 KB, 200x200, me-gusta.jpg)
    7 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:47 No.16100719
    Do we actually have any particular plans, or goals?

    I think we should start preying on Tau/Imperial trade lanes.

    We're pirates, right?

    Well, we need to start pirating then. Build us up a nice fleet.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)21:54 No.16100785
    Issuing forth the order to begin retrofitting Da Green Choppa, you are lead to the commander's quarters on board the space station. A lavishly decorated mansion, it has been altered by those Tau loyal to you to better suit your tastes. Your loyal servants are already preparing your dinner by the time you arrive.

    The next two weeks pass without much incident. The two Tau escorts that Bubbles disabled have been repaired by the Mekboyz, and tasked with guarding Tch'tal in your name. Da Green Choppa, rechristened Da Red Dakka, has been retrofitted with a dozen linked SDCSs, each one capable of shredding through even the toughest armor with ease. The bridge of Da Red Dakka has also been repaired, though it is now partially within the rest of the ship, making it less likely to suffer from damage in combat. The trade off for these upgrades is reduced armoring along the whole of the cruiser, though this is compensated for by the addition of several Tau engines to be used for both speed and maneuvering. This has given it a 40% boost to its turning speed, and a 20% boost to its acceleration.

    These modifications have, unfortunately, used the vast majority of the Imperial Naval wreckage you recovered from Tch'tal. In addition, several of your Orks have died due to negligence, though in the grand scheme of things they didn't matter much anyways.

    Ten minutes ago, you received a message from Tch'tal. Almost every Tau systems nearby have begun rebelling against the Tau Empire, resulting in a massive loss of life on both sides. These new so called "free states" claim that the Tau Empire is built upon a lie, with the promise of their serving the Greater Good merely being a method by which they are controlled.

    These systems are attempting to hold a conference, the leaders of their individual rebellions attempting to coordinate their efforts so as to crush their oppressors.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)21:56 No.16100791
    rolled 73 = 73

    lets use our power to figure out what the ring and uniform do
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:00 No.16100839
    rolled 60 = 60


    go to conference
    make them your loyal followers
    give Bubbles a dicking on the way there
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:00 No.16100840
    So we incited a rebellion against the Tau Empire?

    Wonderful. What's next, Necrons joining the Imperium?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:02 No.16100857
    rolled 74 = 74

    Ooops. Did I do that?

    I don't know... I didn't really look to be the leader of a rebellion and to destroy the Tau empire... on the other hand, if I don't defeat them, they'll probably never leave me alone for this...
    Then again, they haven't really asked for us, have they?
    I suppose we might as well attend their conference?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:06 No.16100888
    rolled 53 = 53

    In addition to that, use the war to find information on tau capital ships, travel to their location, and capture them for our pirate fleet.

    Make sure they're the top of the line ones, that way if we get 2 - 3 to one we may match imperial ships with them.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:09 No.16100917
    rolled 77 = 77


    Do nothing.

    Wait for them to weaken each other.

    Then swoop in and be the savior and stuff.

    Also, conveniently arrive on time towards the end of space battles to "save" downed ships.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:10 No.16100934
    Ask yer new pet Taus if derez anything worth lootan in deez here partz
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:10 No.16100936

    Now that's thinking like a pirate.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:17 No.16101010

    but what do we do in the meantime
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:20 No.16101047
    rolled 54 = 54


    Get some Ork spores onto that planet, in a nice little controlled environment.

    We need to grow the biggest, baddest orks to join our crew.

    We can also start investigating our Aerotech and maybe learn to duplicate it.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:21 No.16101058
    rolled 48 = 48

    Focus on becoming more powerful psychically. See if we can't learn some Sorcery as well.

    Also, CybOrks, CybOrks everywhere.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)22:35 No.16101200
    Remembering the several treatises on tactics you'd read back when you were a Sage, you decide it's better to let them kill each other off, for now. When they begin to weaken, you will consume them, and add their strength to your own. In addition, you believe that scavenging broken down ships from previous battles would be extremely profitable, especially given that some of them might be able to function once more.

    In the meantime, however, you think discovering the secrets of the Archeotech you've recovered over your brief career might be an excellent goal. Starting with your ring and dress uniform.

    First examining the ring, you attempt to activate its hidden mechanisms, to no avail. You try to do so for almost an hour, each time failing, and each time becoming more and more frustrated. At last attempting to pull it from your finger and throw it using your mind, you fall backwards in shock as it emits a brief but powerful beam of energy, seemingly infused with your own psychic energies. Attempting to activate it once more, you repeatedly use the wall as a target for another hour, uncovering two facts. The first, that it appears to use psychic energy to fuel its micro-scale lasgun, and the second, that it can only fire three times every minute. Still, its beam is potent enough to have carved its way through an inch of solid rock with a single blast, so it's far from useless, despite its low firing rate.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)22:36 No.16101210
    Next, you get to work on discovering the secrets of the uniform. Through the use of a Tau scanning tool, you find it to be made of a self-repairing nanoweave, something you've only ever heard of once, while on Mars. It seems to absorb heat and kinetic energy in equal measures, and disperse it over its entirety, rending most conventional weapons harmless so long as they hit the uniform itself. You try hitting it with a choppa, and strangely enough, the impact is barely registered. It's only after you fire on it multiple times with a shoota that it begins to fray, a small hole opening up in the arm of the suit. This soon repairs itself, with the suit as good as it had ever been within minutes.

    A lone servoskull floats into the room as you consider the implications of the uniform's technology. You've got another message, it seems. The Tau leadership on Tch'tal has just received word that a major battle has taken place nearby. Almost all the ships on the side of the Tau Empire have been lost, along with the majority of the rebel vessels.

    Wot do?
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:40 No.16101252
    rolled 90 = 90

    Seems fairly obvious, get tugs out there to salvage anything that may be repairable, then proceed to set up an ambush for when the tau empire does the same.

    when that comes we mind control them into submission gaining an entire tau battleforce and a ton of support ships.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:40 No.16101253
    go fuck shit up
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:48 No.16101321
    rolled 76 = 76


    Don't forget to play savior for the rebels, especially if the Tau empire come back to stomp 'em.

    >A fight, AND more ships to loot!
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)22:54 No.16101402
    rolled 31 = 31

    Get one of the lower rank Eldar wenches to hold your enormous brass balls before you trip on them.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)23:19 No.16101671
    Realizing you need to get there and salvage what you can ASAP, you send out a psychic call to Bubbles to prepare all your ships fro departure, quickly putting on your uniform as you do so. Making your way towards the Klaw, you enter it just as Bubbles sends a message to you over the the vox built into your suit.

    "All ships ready for departure, sir."

    Acknowledging her, you tell her to set the coordinates for the site of the battle in the navigation cogitator, and to pass said coordinates on to the rest of your ships. Finding your way to the bridge, Bubbles gets up from your chair and salutes you as you sit down. With the coordinates locked in, and the other ships disconnected from the station, it only takes a few seconds for your ship to disengage and begin moving. Slowly drifting away from the station, Bubbles aims the ship away from the asteroid belt, and engages the Webway Interface. Time and space stretch out as you are pulled through a sudden rift and into the Webway, passing through the bizarre dimension like a ghost. Moments, later, you emerge, the stars all in different places, with a new blue star in view, and the planet before you surrounded by slowly moving husks. Dozens of ships float endlessly around the rock, all of them disabled, all of them devoid of life signs. Looking around, you examine the clock to your left. You've arrived almost three days later by its count, though to the perceptions of everyone on the bridge, it was only a few minutes. A random Eldar officer speaks up.

    "Sir, I'm detecting ships entering the system. The Red Dakka and the Red Storm, by their IFFs."

    Bubbles turns to the Eldar.

    "Tell them to begin salvage operations."

    "Aye, ma'am."
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)23:33 No.16101764
    God damn Webway. One of these days we're gonna end up going back in time or some shit.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)23:34 No.16101774
    rolled 13 = 13

    Is this a "What do?"
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)23:36 No.16101802

    while we wait for the salvaging, contact the Tau revels and see if you can become their lord and master
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)23:37 No.16101808

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/28/11(Sun)23:37 No.16101816
         File1314589057.jpg-(123 KB, 429x500, 3869538572_f3328ac4df.jpg)
    123 KB
    "part of your comment isn't allowed to be posted."

    Basically, Tau rebels are in the system, and are hailing you. Tau Empire ships are also in the system, and hailing you. About a quarter the ships can be repaired, but you'll need to bring them back to your base one at a time, which will take about a month.
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)23:39 No.16101827
    rolled 51 = 51


    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)23:42 No.16101861
    hail both rebels and Tau Empire ships while Bubbles blows you

    shenanigans ensue
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)23:43 No.16101873
    rolled 24 = 24


    it appears I cannot roll dice
    >> Anonymous 08/28/11(Sun)23:44 No.16101876
    rolled 94 = 94

    easy solution, copy paste it into an image text box and upload that.

    anyways, how many tau empire ships are there? and who is hailing us?

    if it's the leader of the force he's likely on the biggest ship, so begin taking control of the crew on board the ship as you calmly chat with the guy

    then strike at the other ships suddenly after the first one is taken, so that even if they begin to attack they'll be disrupted by their lead ship turning traitor.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)00:08 No.16102091
    I'm just gonna skip the whole image box thing and continue.

    Bubbles checks the comm data as you address her regarding the people hailing you.

    "The commander of the flagship claims to be known as Gla'uvrea, a high ranking Naval officer in the Tau fleet. In Imperial terms, his rank is equivalent to that of an Admiral."

    Taking in this information, you have Bubbles open the communication channel to the flagship, while beginning to subtly twist the minds of those on board against their commander. As the viewscreen opens the video feed, the Tau 'admiral' is readily visible, flanked by two Fire Warriors.

    "Gue'vesa, this official operation. Do not intervene. We're fighting against these rebels for the Greater Good."

    As your mental powers stretch your mind to those of the others aboard the Tau flagship, you deign to distract the commander. Questioning him on the greater good, you hardly pay attention except to keep him distracted, as you slowly but forcefully shift all the animosity the Tau on his ship may have to him and him alone. As you fill their minds with treacherous thoughts, you smile, the Fire Warriors on the viewscreen beginning to clutch their heads in psychic pain. With a final push of hate-fueled Warp energy, you release the Tau from your grip, and wait patiently.

    The commander of the ship is still going on about the Greater Good when the Fire Warrior shoots him in the back of the head. The Tau next to him stares, then shoots the commander as well. The image disappears from the viewscreen, replaced once more by the void.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)00:09 No.16102100
    "They cut the feed, my lord. And... I am detecting a large energy build up in their weapon systems. They're firing on their own ships, sir."

    The flat surface at the head of the bridge shifts suddenly as Bubbles brings up the tactical display. Multiple Tau vessels begin engaging the flagship as it in turns fires at them. Soon enough, the rebel ships are engaging the imperial ships along with the flagship. As the Klaw and your other ships leave them to their battle, you cannot help but feel proud of yourself for convincing the Tau to kill themselves off for you.

    What do? Assist one side in fighting the other, or continue with the salvage operations? Or something else?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)00:13 No.16102131
    rolled 89 = 89

    Ha! Tau are so dumb.

    Wait for them to kill themselves, and finish off any stragglers. Then begin dragging the ships back to your base.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)00:16 No.16102164
    I thought the Tau are warp retards. Not that I mind how awesome this thread is but how are doing this? Also how powerful is an alpha level phyker? Is that a good thing? Sorry I'm newfagging, but I probably have a lot less experience in the Warhammer setting than you guys/
    >> Korosov 08/29/11(Mon)00:17 No.16102176
    rolled 53 = 53

    keep lootin and if imperial ships should win then blast them in the back

    also i was thinking: you said that SDCS overheat fast (well the big spaceship one) so what if we add cooling rods along the barrel maybe filled with water or some fancy tau stuff
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)00:20 No.16102198
    rolled 7 = 7

    IIRC an alpha level psyer is "powerful enough that entire star systems dance at their fingertips"

    and Tau aren't completely disconnected to the warp, they just have very weak presences making them hard to manipulate, which is why I aimed for just the flagship, instead of the entire force when I made the suggestion
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)00:21 No.16102212
    The Tau just don't have souls that are interesting to... well, anyone really. They're little more than grains of sand in a desert of mountains for how much they affect the Warp.

    Doesn't mean they can't get mind fucked to death, just that Chaos couldn't give a single shit about them on a good day.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)00:28 No.16102276
    Thank you guys good to know Im not completly Warhammer retarded. Mabye I would know more if I didn't learn every thing I know (For the most part.) from 1d4chan.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)00:30 No.16102297
    rolled 56 = 56

    Let's continue our salvage operations.

    Then ask the rebels if they want to join our glorious group of Orky Pirates!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)00:34 No.16102336
    To be fair, being able to destroy a small titan with your mind isn't quite the same as being able to make an entire star system dance to your tune. For one thing, DH psykers can do the former, but not the latter. Cacodominus was probably more than your regular alpha.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)00:37 No.16102366
    rolled 32 = 32

    That's true, but the scale of the powers involved would be similar, he was just at the upper end of said scale.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)01:02 No.16102617
    Leaving the Tau to fight themselves, you orbit the planet for several hours as the twin fleets destroy themselves. Your sensors flare with the Tau railguns, the electromagnetism from each shot reverberating through the planet itself. Slowly coming about as the last remaining Tau ship attempts to leave the planet's orbit, you lock onto it and hail those aboard. Recognizing it as the Tau flagship from before, you await their response for only a few seconds, as they open a video feed. Pulling at the minds of those Tau within, you command them to stand down and swear their fealty to you. Though at first they resist, the whisperings of the Warp compel them to comply, and at last, they pledge their undying devotion to you, their minds clouded by your psychic magnificence. With the Tau utterly unable to resist your commands, your Orks soon board them to ensure their loyalty completely.

    For a month do you and your fleet continue salvage the Tau ships. Dragging the decaying hulls back to your base one jump at a time, it takes almost three days per ship on a one way journey. With three ships able to pull the Tau ships with them, the Klaw stays behind to guard the uninhabited planet as the others travel back and forth through the Warp. Out of the 50 ships that were destroyed, only 14 can be saved, and these do you tow back to Tch'tal to begin repairs.

    >Da Loot:
    >1 Or'es El'leath Class Battleship
    >6 Lar'shi'vre Class Cruisers
    >7 Kir'shasvre Class Starships
    >1 Kir'qath Class Starship
    >5000 Tau

    It is currently WAAAGH after WAAAGH in the WAAAGH. You are on board Mork's Klaw, docked at the Tch'tal space station.

    Wot do?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:03 No.16102625
    Is this thing still going?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:06 No.16102654
    I guess? Probably gonna end soon.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:08 No.16102677
    Prepare an escort for the claw. Da Red Dakka and a couple smaller tau ships will be fine. Have the rest guard the station and continue repairs. Seek out dark eldar. If non are found seek out Imperial forces and interrogate them for dark eldar sightings.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:09 No.16102694
    rolled 25 = 25

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:11 No.16102714
         File1314594712.jpg-(125 KB, 679x1000, 1312746859312.jpg)
    125 KB
    rolled 14 = 14


    Time to go Imperial hunting I think.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:13 No.16102726
    rolled 10 = 10

    If possible, start hobbling the ships that we could not save to make a space station.

    Probably best to leave it to the Orkz.

    Bring an asteroid from the belt, if it looks like they need it.

    What do we know of the planet we are now orbiting?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:15 No.16102752
    rolled 46 = 46


    Order of buisness.
    (Notice how they can be done at the same time)

    1. Repair and Equip them with superguns start crewing them properly and do a comprehensive training program.

    for crew:
    recruit some Tau if not enough.

    2. Breed a lot of gentle Orks.
    put some eldar on each (for psy support) but keep the most to ourselves. - we need to get more.

    3. Gently and then Savagely Waaaagh fuck the Ass of the most unsatisfied Eldar and bubbles to raise ship morale and rise in the eyes of the eldar.

    4. Try to find some Eldars to raid and turn into pirates. they are a afull small band we have.

    to prepare to compound on the Tau strife and incorporate the rebelious worlds in our empire we need more ships to defend them. thus some more eldar and orks.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:16 No.16102765
    rolled 36 = 36


    DO EET!

    Do 'em all!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:21 No.16102812
    rolled 51 = 51



    We need some more eldars to raise the pop cap and some what to start breeding more.

    Perhaps Eldar Cloning facilities with fast maturation mods so we dont need to go hunting for eldar ass and eldar men?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:23 No.16102821
         File1314595383.jpg-(188 KB, 1024x724, IG.jpg)
    188 KB
    rolled 14 = 14




    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:23 No.16102831
    rolled 86 = 86

    Going to have to go with this.

    Should have get and Ork farm up and have them act as the marine force on all our ships as well.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:25 No.16102848

    >convert to Khorne

    About that.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:28 No.16102866
         File1314595685.jpg-(820 KB, 726x1000, 1303211336.jpg)
    820 KB
    rolled 100 = 100


    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)01:29 No.16102886
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:30 No.16102894
    I guess in this quest one should always expect the unexpected.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:30 No.16102896
         File1314595854.jpg-(98 KB, 600x1000, GETITDONE.jpg)
    98 KB

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:31 No.16102903
         File1314595890.jpg-(18 KB, 366x380, 33xueiw.jpg)
    18 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:33 No.16102928
         File1314596029.jpg-(88 KB, 600x848, Mad.jpg)
    88 KB

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:39 No.16102973
    rolled 28 = 28


    So we do this , Khronate style? >>16102866

    Khrone ship repair and crew recruitan.
    Khrone Gentle Ork farms and Eldar cloning facilities ( the lot of red will give it a British air)
    Hump the unhapppy Eldars and Bubbles khronate style so that even Khronettes blush!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:41 No.16102993
         File1314596478.jpg-(147 KB, 752x1063, KHORNATE.jpg)
    147 KB

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:41 No.16102995
    rolled 41 = 41

    Khrone is invading or hertek psyker mind! expel it from our plans of galactic domination and pillaging!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:42 No.16103006
         File1314596568.jpg-(234 KB, 844x947, Slaughter_Time.jpg)
    234 KB

    YOU DARE!?!?!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:44 No.16103023
    rolled 34 = 34

    Being fair, that 100 wasn't actually attached to a suggestion.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:44 No.16103024
         File1314596679.jpg-(582 KB, 974x794, kharn slaneshi whore.jpg)
    582 KB
    rolled 44 = 44

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:45 No.16103033
    rolled 4 = 4

    Get out Khrone
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:45 No.16103040
         File1314596757.jpg-(863 KB, 938x1125, Demon.jpg)
    863 KB

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:47 No.16103059
    rolled 93 = 93


    you know, after seeing the pic, i read it as in kharn we thrust our wangs.

    so does kharn do anal or is Kharn secretly a muscle girl?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:49 No.16103073
         File1314596944.jpg-(93 KB, 600x868, possessed_marine.jpg)
    93 KB


    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:50 No.16103086
    rolled 45 = 45

    Everybody knows Kharn is a musclegirl on constant PMS with moodswings.

    Why do you think Khorne loves Kharn so much? Kharn always bleeds and wants to make everybody bleed!

    that and Kharn is a pretty swell guy - mainly because he is a gal on PMS
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:53 No.16103118
         File1314597202.jpg-(184 KB, 600x848, word_bearer_massacre.jpg)
    184 KB

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)01:53 No.16103124
    You suddenly run out from your quarters and start yelling at people! Punching the Tau into submission, you continue screaming at them until they start training. Punching them more, then yelling again, you continue punching and yelling for several days in a row, yelling and punching your Tau recruits into shape. But you're not done.

    Kicking them in the face while yelling, you motivate your Orks to accelerate repairs on all your ships, equipping them with multiple independent SDCSs. And what's more, you continue to punch them in their green faces until they make the ships faster and more difficult to destroy, painting all of them Red within a span of a few minutes.

    Going down to Tch'tal next, you yell and punch Tau until they join your crew, whereupon you punch and kick them into shape once more. Hitting them in the face with infantry scale SDCSs , you've soon trained all 60,000 of your pirates in using them, through clever application of kicking and yelling.

    With that out of the way, you decide to get some more GentleOrks bred. Yelling at the various boyz on board the Tch'tal station, you manage to get them to become Roight Proppa GentleOrks, dappa an woll dressed.

    Finally, with your yelling and kicking seeming to have less than the optimal effect on the Eldar, you call them all to your quarters and savagely butt fuck them all. For days. Without stopping. By the time you're done, they're far more compliant, and better motivated too!

    On the fourteenth day of your anger-spasm, you detect five Eldar ships entering the system through the Webway. Reaching out through the Warp with sheer anger, you render everyone on board comatose, just moments before they jump back into the Webway. Your Tau ships then drag them into port, as you finally calm the fuck down.

    What do?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:55 No.16103147
         File1314597308.png-(384 KB, 350x565, 1311262226804.png)
    384 KB
    rolled 100 = 100


    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)01:57 No.16103165
         File1314597450.jpg-(42 KB, 500x530, getmepictures12851742992687500(...).jpg)
    42 KB
    I honestly can't express how this makes me feel, so I'll just post a random pic instead.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:58 No.16103172
         File1314597504.jpg-(18 KB, 200x234, Khorne_symbol.jpg)
    18 KB

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:58 No.16103178
    rolled 86 = 86

    Like with the previous eldars, induct them into our pirate fleet.

    four ships and and some couple of more eldar bitches and guidos wont hurt.

    Start on those ork farms and eldar clone labs. then get some intel on ship numbers of the Tau septs that are in rebellion and forces arrayed against them to see how to go about conquering the Tau empire and then ...
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)01:59 No.16103187
         File1314597578.jpg-(39 KB, 400x261, artworks-000008152293-qorq67-c(...).jpg)
    39 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:00 No.16103201
    rolled 20 = 20

    Just no eldar guidos on our ship, The eldar bitches on our ship belong to us and nobody else!

    Every evil overlord needs himself a harem.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:02 No.16103219
    rolled 45 = 45

    this for later.

    Lets pirate some Imperials at the other end of the quadrant. pillage, rape and plunder ourselves so much that the empire wont bother the Tau for at least a couple of decades.

    so that there will be no imperial interference with the conquest of t'au.

    sometimes the khronate fuck makes a lot of sense.

    Oh and dont forget to load up on imperial ships, recruits and slaves.
    We need some more ships and humans to experiment those supercybersoldiers programs
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:03 No.16103228
         File1314597800.jpg-(379 KB, 1001x1484, chaos_undivided_redux_by_majes(...).jpg)
    379 KB
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:04 No.16103235
    And also get some HUMAN ships.
    Tau ships suck dick, period, and we have only a few Eldar ones.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:05 No.16103242
         File1314597910.png-(2.91 MB, 900x675, Khorne_Wallpaper.png)
    2.91 MB



    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:11 No.16103288
    rolled 94 = 94

    I just wanted to let you know Heresy, this is currently my favorite quest thread ever.

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)02:12 No.16103298

    Yelling your fleet into the Immaterium, you rip time and space asunder through sheer anger, and propel your ships across the cosmos in mere seconds, all while furiously mindfucking the Eldar you captured into serving you forevermore. The Warp twists around you like a pissed off tornado, melting your chair as an aftereffect of your anger. As your fleet exits the Warp, you find yourself facing down a fleet of 40 Imperial Naval vessels.

    You Fuck Them Up.

    Reaching out with the Warp, you pull on the very pillars of reality, stretching the Warp into the materium, and punching the Imperial Navy vessels with it. Grabbing the minds and bodies of everyone on the ships, you thrown them across the galaxy towards Tch'tal, mindfucking them as you had so many others, and dooming them to forever serve your dark desires.

    The planet below, a massive Imperial Naval staging ground, threatens the very foundations upon which you intend to rule the universe. But so furious are you, you don't even give a SINGLE FUCK about ruling it. So you light it on fire with your mind, screaming with such volume as you do so that its very atmosphere is blown away.

    Yelling at the planet for sucking cocks, you punch it into the nearest star. The resulting shockwave throws you back into orbit around Tch'tal.

    Bubbles speaks up.

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:14 No.16103321
         File1314598491.jpg-(143 KB, 752x1063, Stupid sexy Fulgrim.jpg)
    143 KB
    rolled 81 = 81


    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:15 No.16103325
    >mindfuck 40 imperial ships and throw them across time
    >punch a planet into a star for sucking cocks
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:15 No.16103332
    rolled 15 = 15

    Now that's what I call Heresy!

    S'pose we should fuck bubbles until we become coherent again. Then send gentorks over to our new vessels.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:15 No.16103335
    rolled 24 = 24

    Why do you say that my sweet?

    Grin maniacally.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:17 No.16103349
    rolled 73 = 73

    victory celebration!
    Then start making shit happen!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:17 No.16103355
    rolled 74 = 74

    never before have I seen a more apt summary of a quest thread.

    also, begin CALMING THE FUCK DOWN! We are scaring bubbles, for fuck sake.

    Time to get back to work building our fleet and inventing new heretical technologies!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:19 No.16103370
         File1314598746.jpg-(245 KB, 900x1272, Konrad_Curze_.jpg)
    245 KB


    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:19 No.16103371
    rolled 58 = 58

    Well shit, after we chat up Nurgle we'll be showing down Horus. Might as well go finish the job that asshole fucked up then, huh?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:20 No.16103384
    rolled 49 = 49

    Figure out what those Eldar were coming here for.
    >> Korosov 08/29/11(Mon)02:22 No.16103394
         File1314598979.jpg-(38 KB, 470x400, 1274105640838.jpg)
    38 KB
    rolled 80 = 80

    lets calm down and be good EL PRESIDENTE
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:24 No.16103405
         File1314599051.jpg-(1.14 MB, 1000x1000, Prophet_of_Damnation.jpg)
    1.14 MB

    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)02:29 No.16103444
    Slowly breathing in and out, you manage to get your anger under control, as the air from your lungs ceases to be on fire. The aura of fury around you fades away, replaced by utter calmness. Patting Bubbles on the back, she flinches and tries to move away, only succeeding in turning 90 degrees to the left. Assuring her that you're completely fine, you announce over the intercom that everyone is to commence participating in a very large orgy, on pain of flogging.

    Having done so, you use your psychic abilities to send messages through the Warp to command those you mindfucked on the Imperial and Eldar vessels to do so as well. Rebuilding your captain's chair with a single thought, you reshape the bridge to better suit your tastes as well. Calling Bubbles over to you, soon enough you are receiving oral sex from multiple females at once for maximum efficiency, while the rest of your piratical fleet engages in a massive orgy.

    For ten hours do you feast upon the energies of your fleet, combining it with the powers you drew from the warp to punch the planet. These energies serve to enhance your own psychic potency, with your mind stretching and your psyche seeming to become more malleable in taking in new ideas.

    >Gained Trait: Alpha Plus Psyker
    >Gained Power: Teleport
    >Gained Power: Stop Time

    >Gained Reputation: HOLY SHIT RUN OH GOD OH GOD

    This thread is now autosaging. Want me to make another?
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:31 No.16103464
         File1314599509.jpg-(793 KB, 1000x417, Hate.jpg)
    793 KB
    rolled 28 = 28


    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:32 No.16103471
    rolled 50 = 50

    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:32 No.16103475
    We mastered our psychic abilities?
    Wait, we are insane, that's obvious (VERY FUCKING INSANE INDEED), but why are daemons letting an ALPHA-PLUS PSYKER run free without trying to crawl out of his ears?

    And yes, do so.
    >> Korosov 08/29/11(Mon)02:32 No.16103476
    rolled 6 = 6

    eh sure
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:33 No.16103477
    rolled 87 = 87

    Fucking yes! This is some grade A shit OP, keep it coming!
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:34 No.16103490
    Seriously? We just punched a fucking planet into a star. All the Daemons are probably too scared to even be in the same solar system.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:36 No.16103504
    rolled 9 = 9

    Seriously, this is the best quest thread on the board right now.
    >> Korosov 08/29/11(Mon)02:40 No.16103535
    rolled 44 = 44

    we should meditate so we can talk to chaos gods and mebe get some cool stuff (deamons coming out of our ears)
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:42 No.16103550
    rolled 68 = 68

    Fuck them, we do alright for ourselves.
    The rate this is going we'll BE one soon enough.
    >> Anonymous 08/29/11(Mon)02:44 No.16103571
    So? All the more power for them.
    I'm seeing a lot of power and almost zero self-control. We'd be less a lighthouse and more the entire Vegas strip to daemons.
    >> Heresy !mxBDpej4rQ 08/29/11(Mon)02:46 No.16103589
         File1314600386.jpg-(93 KB, 662x658, 1291523713339.jpg)
    93 KB


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