Posting mode: Reply
Password(Password used for file deletion)
  • Supported file types are: GIF, JPG, PNG
  • Maximum file size allowed is 3072 KB.
  • Images greater than 250x250 pixels will be thumbnailed.
  • Read the rules and FAQ before posting.
  • ????????? - ??

  • File : 1310985847.jpg-(853 KB, 842x1190, Rogue_Trader_RPG_Cover_by_andreauderzo.jpg)
    853 KB Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)06:44 No.15621909  
    My players just sold the populace of an entire Maiden World into slavery in exchange for a vast haul of filthy lucre, namely four Styxis Xebec's worth of loot. What strange and wondrous items should they find buried in those mountains of crap?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)06:45 No.15621914
    The mummified corpse of an anthropomorphic duck in a bathing suit.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)06:47 No.15621919
    One piece or two?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)06:47 No.15621920
    Contempt and disregard for their fellow man OP. That's what they will find and is all they will find until the time the ruinous powers claim them
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)06:47 No.15621921
    the craftworld will come after you for that.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)06:48 No.15621923

    One piece, of course.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)06:50 No.15621927
    The duck or the bathing suit?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)06:51 No.15621929
         File1310986271.jpg-(44 KB, 446x400, laughingwhores.jpg)
    44 KB
    >fellow man
    >Maiden World
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)06:58 No.15621949
    They all have Enemy (Eldar) now. Thankfully for them, however, they've more or less depleted the Craftworld Eldar's resources in the region for now.

    There's some of that going around already. Only a little, though. Eldar aren't people, after all.

    They're going to end up hunting down the dead civilization of Dukkbuurg because of you.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:01 No.15621953
    Make the loot worthless and booby trapped, that way they will go apeshit on the slaver, plenty of potential for the slavers.
    Also who bought the slaves?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:02 No.15621956
    The Stryxis, who have a huge murder-boner for the Eldar. No traps either, since pulling that at the end of over a year of on-and-off endeavouring would be far too big a dick move for me and provoke cries of "why won't it end?!"
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:02 No.15621958
    A tennis court, one of the service areas occupied by a mountain of cupcakes.
    A 5x5 inch cube of hickory wood, apparently hollow but completely unbreakable by any physical means. They can hear something rattling inside when they shake it.
    A half-finished game of taikyoku shougi inside a blanket fort.
    A cottage. There's a berry pie cooling on the windowsill.
    A suit of power armour with a smaller suit of power armour inside. Matryoshkas all the way down.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:03 No.15621960
    a vortex grenade or six.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:04 No.15621963
         File1310987077.jpg-(14 KB, 480x360, duuk.jpg)
    14 KB
    I like what I'm reading.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)07:31 No.15622059
    >What strange and wondrous items should they find buried in those mountains of crap?

    An ornate giant golden dildo. The words "Dorns Shame" engaved on the side.
    3049 socks. None of them matching.
    An STC constructor that can ONLY make Vuvuzelas.
    Several sealed boxes of Hostess Fruit Pies.
    A ham and mustard sandwhich, wrapped in clingfilm.
    A boltgun derringer pistol designed for ladies. Any lady using it will likely break every bone in her wrist if fired.
    A Long-Las with the words "This Machine kills Heretics" on the side.
    A vacuum mummified corpse wearing a well preserved blue jumpsuit and trousers combo with yellow trim. The number "101" is on the back.
    A crude android designed to bend industrial materials, runs on ethanol and similar liquids.
    Some sort of humanoid mutant, it's skin still glowing in patches in an archaic void-suit with a large glass bubble helmet, long dead.
    A suit of power-armour from the Dark Age of Technology, is capable of flight and has numerous internal weapons. There is a strong smell of achohol inside even after centuries of unuse.
    An Imperial Commissars hat.
    The corpse of some kind of small, squat like humanoid.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)07:31 No.15622064
    A Ships Cogitator, removed from an old mining vessel, now completely senile but boasts it once had the IQ of as 6,000 PE teachers or 12,000 car park attendants
    Several hundred skeletons, one is holding a large metal sabot. They are stored in a box marked "Peasant Railgun"
    An old wooden barrel with several vertical slits, each slit has a sword pushed into it. Inside appears to be the corpse of a dead sailor. Further investigation will reveal it to be a corsair of notable reputation, not seen for centuries.
    Several highly corrupt cogitators. One seems incapable of good ideas, whilst another seems to be having the time of it's life.
    A law-enforcement servitor called Murphy
    Main Warp Drive of an early starship called the "Event Horizon."
    Weaponised Bees. My god.
    A giant guantlet with 6 glowing gems on it.
    A hammer that none of the crew seem able to lift.
    A giant cubic zirconia (what an eyesore!)
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:38 No.15622094
    >A suit of power-armour from the Dark Age of Technology, is capable of flight and has numerous internal weapons. There is a strong smell of achohol inside even after centuries of unuse.

    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:39 No.15622098
    Tony Stark.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)07:39 No.15622100

    Really? I thought that was one of the more obvious ones.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:41 No.15622105
    >Some sort of humanoid mutant, it's skin still glowing in patches in an archaic void-suit with a large glass bubble helmet, long dead.

    What's this from? I know I've seen it somewhere... The rest are hilarious, and I get most of them.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)07:41 No.15622107
    The rest are faily obvious, although the Fallout NV ones might be too obscure.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:42 No.15622113
    Tony Stark built this in a cave.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)07:43 No.15622118
    From scraps!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:43 No.15622119
         File1310989425.jpg-(129 KB, 560x315, bender.jpg)
    129 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:44 No.15622125
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:45 No.15622126
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)07:45 No.15622128

    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)07:46 No.15622134

    That's actually a substantially BETTER idea that the one I had.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:47 No.15622136

    The whale sounds that the big daddies made in Bioshock.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:47 No.15622137
    ta, never played Pikmin, so i had no f'ing clue. Cheers mate.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:47 No.15622138
         File1310989675.jpg-(58 KB, 500x375, bd.jpg)
    58 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:48 No.15622139
    >new vegas

    son i am dissapoint
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:52 No.15622166
         File1310989938.jpg-(170 KB, 600x399, 1306835505415.jpg)
    170 KB
    >> Dispatch !!Th7c6TGosKf 07/18/11(Mon)07:53 No.15622171
    -Voyager II Space Probe
    -A pallet of Slurm Energy Drink
    -A pair of mouldy bagpipes.
    -A small safety canister of yellow liquid which, if released into the atmosphere, will turn the crew into raging monkeys
    -Horrible gellationous blob
    -A small golden sphere with a secret holographic map inside leading to a hollowed out planet literally full of riches, said to be the base of the galaxies most successful pirate, Captain Nathaniel Flint.
    -A sonic screwdriver
    -A mentally unstable man claiming to a be a police officer from 2002 (M03) from a place called "New Yerk" that has somehow traveled in time.
    -A solid gold Leman Russ Battle Tank
    -The actual Leman Russ in cryogenic Stasis.
    -Matt Damon
    -Scarab beetles (the eat your insides kind)
    -A gun that shoots holes, not bullet holes.
    -A suspicious looking eye.
    -A Lombax Kill-team in cryo storage (Probably not too friendly)
    -An archanotech Anti-Gravity racing vehicle. It says QIREX R&D on the side.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)07:53 No.15622173

    Nope. Nice idea though.

    Can anyone else look at the box art for Bioshock 2 and NOT see Bomberman?
    Because I can't.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:53 No.15622174
    Another fallout related piece of loot.

    A vial of F.E.V, a perfect gift for all psykers, mutants and Genetors.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)07:55 No.15622184
    >-Matt Damon

    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:55 No.15622185
         File1310990143.jpg-(19 KB, 390x250, bueno.jpg)
    19 KB
    >-An archanotech Anti-Gravity racing vehicle. It says QIREX R&D on the side.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:59 No.15622201
    I know one thing they won't find...

    the antidote.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)07:59 No.15622202
    Loads of cool toys
    Very nice necklace that gives some nice buffs

    Actually a spirit stone from some ancient Eldar dude!
    Starts talking to players in their sleep
    Madness etc
    Eldar seem very keen to get it back
    VERY keen as in special forces dispatched from Black Library keen
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)08:02 No.15622216

    One guy is laughing at this. Today, that guy was me.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)08:03 No.15622223
    What they don't want back is this giant crystallised dick. In fact they don't even want to admit they had anything to do with it. Despite this the size still seems to impress them as they keep looking at it and going "Man, what a dick."
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:05 No.15622227
    Eldrad is dildos?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:06 No.15622231

    Eldrad's famed Wraithboner.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)08:06 No.15622232

    In many ways yes.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:10 No.15622248
    But one peice!
    Thus begins teh epic quest to collect together the scattered peices of the "object" in question. This journey will take the players on a journey of discover where by they will learn about the value of friendship and honour and freindship.

    Also Q'Sandria Farseer DAT ass!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:11 No.15622250
    and then you died from lack of antidote.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:12 No.15622253
    but then I ressed you for stroking my ego and being a bro.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:13 No.15622258
    An orange lantern that compels everyone to seize it and hoard stuff, also giving them an insatiable apetite.
    A snarky trigger-happy red droid that constantly pleads to be allowed to kill people whenever there's an argument or dispute.
    An ancient stone statue of a warrior that comes to life and smites evildoers with a sword. Also keeps muttering about ungrateful humans and asks everyone he meets if they've seen a blond kid with wings and a bow.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:14 No.15622259
    > stroking my ego

    Is that what the kids call it these days?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:18 No.15622275
    A sealed tome. If you open it, you will find a sheet of paper with your name, your date of birth and another date six months in the future.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:19 No.15622278
         File1310991592.png-(45 KB, 1500x1392, LongNeck.png)
    45 KB
    >Main Warp Drive of an early starship called the "Event Horizon."
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:20 No.15622280
    Hey, leggo my ego
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:20 No.15622282
    -A solid gold Leman Russ Battle Tank in cryogenic Stasis!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:23 No.15622292
    They find another Craftworld!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:25 No.15622298
         File1310991939.jpg-(62 KB, 467x350, Tree of life.jpg)
    62 KB
    Hidden among the valuables, the explorers find a hermetically sealed box, containing tubers looking a lot like Yams.

    They smell FANTASTIC!!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:27 No.15622304
    So many referances..... so much win
    >> Dispatch !!Th7c6TGosKf 07/18/11(Mon)08:30 No.15622314
         File1310992204.jpg-(54 KB, 500x362, Win.jpg)
    54 KB

    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:33 No.15622322
    Yeah.... If I found this I'd jettison the entire cache into a star
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:39 No.15622343
    Why? It's a completely ordinary warp-capable ship, it just isn't equipped with a Gellar field.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)08:40 No.15622347
    >Implying this is not canonically how the Tyrant Star came to be in the first place.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:42 No.15622352
    A Red and blue checkered Powerklaw with a sight on it.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)08:42 No.15622354
    It WAS just an ordinary warp drive. NOW it's a Daemonically possessed Warp Drive. The only reason it hasn't infected nearby cogitators is because the nearby cogitators are Hollie and the Portal 2 AI cores.
    And NOBODY wants to go there.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)08:49 No.15622378

    ...shit, I got nothing.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:52 No.15622397
         File1310993572.png-(1.47 MB, 910x886, Totally not going to kill you.png)
    1.47 MB
    A heavily damaged alien helmet apparently made from strips of leathery material. It comes with coordinates to a large patch of asteroids and space debris. It has an aura of fear and violence about it.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)08:53 No.15622406


    ...good times.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:55 No.15622416
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)08:58 No.15622429
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:01 No.15622448
    I'm not sure that I love my group enough to stop myself from including this.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:02 No.15622453
    I always had this stupid idea where the Rogue traders find a set of ancient eldar titans.
    They draw their power from their connection to the Infinity circuit and are incredible powerfull. Only thing is, they long stopped working probably and their connection to the IC is cut so they don't work in the reality but the party finds out they still work when their ship is in the immaterium.
    Which means when sometimes again the Gellarfield Generators stop working the PCs have to man those Titans, climb outside the ship and start kicking some Demons in their balls who try to enter the ship.

    Did I mention those titans look a little bit like Gundams?
    The combat would be with AdEva rules.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)09:04 No.15622463
    Your right.

    That is a stupid idea.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:04 No.15622467
         File1310994280.jpg-(103 KB, 800x513, stare_sm.jpg)
    103 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:06 No.15622478
    Yeah This
    Is what I was afraid of
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:09 No.15622495
    What stats did you use for the exodite dragon knights and knight-titans? I'm interested in seeing how people run Eldar
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:09 No.15622496
    I love that a situation arised that I can imagine a daemonically posessed warp drive sulking that it is a powerful manifestation of evil and yet the only things around it are AIs too scatterbrained to corrupt.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:11 No.15622505

    'Hey, idiot, feel the emanations of the warp corrupt your very heart!'

    'Mmmm... I'm going to guess... yeah, it does feel kind warm, doesn't it? Kinda warm. Waaaarm.'

    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)09:11 No.15622506

    Fuck. I hate this shitcunt of language sometimes.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:12 No.15622509
    The Exodites were never encountered. They got sold before the explorers met them. Not that they wanted to meet them, they just wanted them off "their" planet. They were essentially Amish Eldar though, having lived in blissful, idyllic ignorance since before the Fall. The first sign they had that the rest of the galaxy existed was their Craftworld chums appearing and trying to evacuate them. Then the army of mercenaries and vat-grown monsters arrived.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:12 No.15622514
    You're born in Blighty. No excused.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)09:13 No.15622521
    >'Mmmm... I'm going to guess... yeah, it does feel kind warm, doesn't it? Kinda warm. Waaaarm.'

    I swear to god Wesley, one of these days, one of these days, WHAM! POW!
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)09:14 No.15622525
    Ha! This is the internets! Im not feared of you!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:15 No.15622533
         File1310994901.jpg-(57 KB, 300x287, stare_dog.jpg)
    57 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:19 No.15622557

    how did they sell the planet without even meeting them? It seems kind of passive for the warlike eldar
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)09:19 No.15622560
    This is what happens when you try to post on the internet without having one tab contstantly set to Wikipedia.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:21 No.15622567
    > a blue british call box -- locked.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:22 No.15622574
    I would like to know how the PCs took on an entire craftworld, but as an Eldar player the answer will probs make me rage
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)09:23 No.15622580
    Is the box surrounded by ornate but otherwise tasteful statues of stone angels?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:24 No.15622588
    They'd been what's essentially a very long treasure map for years in game, periodically getting ambushed by Eldar trying to stop them. The most recent two examples are a goddamn Dragonship and an Exarch-lead Banshee Death-Squad. All attempts failed (though not without causing serious damage) and, as a result, the Eldar had nothing left to stop them with. Their final tactic was to openly ask for time to get their people off world before leaving the PCs to their prize (in the usual, condescending manner of the Eldar, of course). The PCs were fine enough with this. They just wanted their filthy lucre. Then the Stryxis showed up and made them an offer. So they gestured towards the planet, said "help yourselves" and the Stryxis beelined for it.

    Koronus Expanse, hardly any Craftworld presence there. Other things going on, assets needed elsewhere, not everyone agreed about the importance of the planet when compared to the thousands of other threats rearing their heads across the galaxy. If an entire Craftworld had come after the explorers then they'd be toast, but that wouldn't have made for a very fun game.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:25 No.15622592
    I hope not... We'd have to consider it a memetic threat and jettison it.
    >> Commissar Squid 07/18/11(Mon)09:27 No.15622600
    Just Some interesting stuff and not a reference to anything in particuar
    Within the Mountians of Crap
    - A Fancy gilded Hourglass that stands nearly 3 feet tall. The large handles are molded in the shape of void creatures.
    - Minted coins with Alien figures on either side.
    - A Steel plated skull
    - A burrow dug out of the side of a mound of crap. Inside a large leather bound Journal a crate as a makeshift desk and a Qill and Ink. The Journal tells the tale of a lost wanderer cataloging the treasures (some useful info on where specific things may be if they read it all) it also tells of the authors decent into madness, brought on by the loneliness, compulsion to explore and influences buy some of the tainted treasures. The journal ends when the author hears someone coming and scurries off to hide and watch.
    The Journal is left open at that page, the ink still wet.
    (this will hopefully creep the hell out of the players)
    -Bottles of perfumes, and strange fragrances
    -A wooden case with dueling swords in it
    -A pile of charts and maps one of which marks pathways through the piles of junk.
    -A collection of vases made of various polished stone.
    -An obelisk of bronze on its side
    -A rack with Eldar War trophies
    -Fine robes with very long trains
    -A Small Clear Stone Orb on a Fancy Pedastle
    -A Jade Carving of a Animal
    - Tusks of some great dead beast
    - Tome containing names of crewmen and soilders lost during a battle in M3
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:27 No.15622603

    A green powerfist made by the cult St. Joseph the Dreadful, Patron Saint of Arbitrators in a local area of space. The words "Gaze into Ye Fist of Dread" are plated on its side.

    Archeotech schematics for a new type of warp core capable of powering truly colossal ships. Detailed examinations reveal it appears to trap warp entities inside itself as a power source. May be related in some way to the Event Horizon artefact above.

    An extremely advanced archeotech weapons system in the shape of an Aquilla. When activated, it bonds to the user on a molecular level and allows them to generate weaponry such as monomolecular swords. It also appears to have some kind of etiquette training program as a subroutine.

    The inspirational sermons of a profoundly religious planetary governor entitled "Be Pure! Be Vigilant! Behave!"

    A collection of receipts for a pair of mercenary assassins known as "the Left Hand" and "the Right Hand". The number of receipts suggest that they are very, very successful and almost never turn down a job.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:29 No.15622612
    A chaos-tainted altar, dedicated to the son of Emp'ra, the Horse.

    A tapestry depicting Abaddon, the despoiler, with a colossal Khornate demon crushing him underfoot, severing the chaos lord's arms. It is entitled "You shall have no arms to lift against me." Psykers detect a faint holy presence near the tapestry.

    A deactivated servitor that could pass for human, as long as it doesn't remove it's trenchcoat or hat. It has over 500 useful internal devices (umbrella, binoculars, magnification lense, prop-based areal movement unit, limb extenders, flotation device, retractible foot-wheels, retractible foot-skis, and many, many, many more) but no armor and only a las-pistol (actually an industrial cutting laser, mounted in it's finger) as weaponry.

    A high-bodied, armored, tracked vehicle that has missiles and a turret. It is painted bright blue, with a stylized snake's head as an insignia.

    A long-necked xeno in cryogenic stasis. It's chest cavity pulses with light at regular, albiet long, intervals.

    A starmap through the warp storms to the Apriori segmentum.

    A servo-skull made from a space marine. It does excelent work, but tends to throw phrases like "badger cunt nail dicks" into it's reports.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:29 No.15622614
    Sixty-eight metric tons of Surge, the discontinued soda.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:30 No.15622618
    >4 statues that appear to be made of stone but whose actual compositions are indeterminate, they take the shape of 4 winged women with screaming faces, looking into each others eyes as they stand in a circle, they resist being moved
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:33 No.15622635
    Isn't the local Eldar Craftworld Khador of "Eldar Prophecy" fame?


    Here's hoping they did a retcon on that bitch!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:37 No.15622649
    An small, spherical machine with a single orange-coloured eye.

    When activated, it appears to be some kind of Abominable Intelligence, and raves constantly about space.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:38 No.15622659
    A suit of worn and battle-scarred power armour. The armour's colour is a dull green with a golden helmet visor, however the armour is heavily scratched, the armour itself looks to be less bulky than most impirial armour. Puzzlingly the armour is too large to fit a human, but still too small to fit a space marine.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:39 No.15622667

    + IG standard issue equipment (helmet, backpack, flashlight) with built-in Machine Spirits.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:41 No.15622674
    they open a crate and find another crate of exactly the same dimensions. no clue as to how they got it in there.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)09:44 No.15622694
    >A deactivated servitor that could pass for human, as long as it doesn't remove it's trenchcoat or hat. It has over 500 useful internal devices (umbrella, binoculars, magnification lense, prop-based areal movement unit, limb extenders, flotation device, retractible foot-wheels, retractible foot-skis, and many, many, many more) but no armor and only a las-pistol (actually an industrial cutting laser, mounted in it's finger) as weaponry.

    Does it respond to the name of Aaron?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:47 No.15622710
    >A deactivated servitor that could pass for human, as long as it doesn't remove it's trenchcoat or hat.
    Now I have the theme tune stuck in my head, you bastard.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:53 No.15622744

    ...how did they get it out then?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:54 No.15622750
    They open a crate and find a shitload of gas masked Guardsmen just standing there at full attention.

    All other crates contain the exact same thing; squad after squad of impassive, staring gas masks attached to nondescript grey fatigues, all of them stood at full attention. Scanning the contents of any closed crates will reveal yet more guardsmen, ALSO at full attention even though it must be pitch black inside the crates and they have clearly been in there for days.

    Then over the next few days, the guardsmen begin to set up increasingly inexplicable, byzantine and complex siege defences in the ship's cargo hold.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:56 No.15622760
    inspector gadget...
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)09:58 No.15622769
         File1310997532.jpg-(22 KB, 400x400, 4chan logo.jpg)
    22 KB
    An old pre heresy computer server with what looks to be 4 green flower petals painted in a square on the side.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)09:59 No.15622771
    - A small mutated dog like abomination that walks on two legs and speaks unintelligably, on the words "pupei-pow-ah" can be made out.
    - A high powered energy gun in the shape of a Walther P38 Special. Will occaisional speak, usually ranting at it's betrayal at the hands of something called "Starscream"
    - A submersible aquatic vessel, coloured in a shade of banana yellow.
    - Stasis pods containing three genetically tailored Human/Amphibian hybrids designed for combat: DO NOT OPEN.
    - A circular adamantium shield in red and blue, with a star in the middle.
    - Several sheafs of hand written scripts, which if collated form a play called "the king in yellow"
    - A xenos made long range escape pod, inside is the skeleton of a dog, long dead.
    - An empty pedastal, labelled as supposedly holding a "Cosmic Cube", the words "Kang was here" is scratched onto the marble.
    - A drum, cello, conch horn, bell, harp, marimba, triangle and small piano organ.
    - A gem in the shape of a yellow trapezohedron, it does not seem to reflect light correctly, and is stored in a box of Xenos manufacture.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)10:00 No.15622776

    Thought it was Aaron Stack, the Machine Man.

    It was the quote about him being full of useful devices that did it.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:02 No.15622786
    >A small mutated dog like abomination that walks on two legs and speaks unintelligably, on the words "pupei-pow-ah" can be made out.
    Reason enough to absolutely annihilate the entire stash.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:02 No.15622787
    This is a thread of wonderful things. I dread to think what uses my players will find for them.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)10:04 No.15622795
    ...or what use They will find for your Players.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:06 No.15622803
    >A drum, cello, conch horn, bell, harp, marimba, triangle and small piano organ.

    You know, they never did really explain what the Wind Fish actually was, it just seemed like it was some kind of random space whale.

    >A high powered energy gun in the shape of a Walther P38 Special. Will occaisional speak, usually ranting at it's betrayal at the hands of something called "Starscream"

    Starscream: Champion of Tzeentch?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:06 No.15622806
    Ssh, don't give them a reason to be cautious.

    I do hope that they thaw out that Kill-Team, though.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)10:07 No.15622811
    The wind fish is essentially Cthulhu, it's second appearance in Phantom Hourglass largely confirms it.

    >Starscream: Champion of Tzeentch?

    More like "even a broken watch is right twice a day."
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:10 No.15622825
    >it's second appearance in Phantom Hourglass largely confirms it.

    Well, looks like I'm playing the Phantom Hourglass now. Shame that it (apparently) isn't as good as Spirit Tracks.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:10 No.15622827
    >"even a broken watch is right twice a day."

    Or in the case of Starscream, twice a series. Why does Megatron keep making him his second in command if he knows Starscream's going to betray him? I know the whole thing about keeping your enemies close, but at this point it would make more sense for Megatron just to kill Starscream at the start of every series instead of dealing with his bullshit.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:12 No.15622840
    Look at me, Im actually serious today!

    -Something Necron, basically an invitation for the party to "accidentally the tombworld"
    -All the money is of xenos minting, and therefore they will have to work hard to find a way to spend it without being shot.
    -A gem that produces its own null field. It is of dark eldar design, and therefore cannot be picked up without cutting your fingers.
    -A pair of goggles that, when worn, makes all warp entities invisible to the wearer. Part of a mislead attempt to rid the world of the ruinous powers.
    -A servitor made from an eldar/ork/tau etc. A nice curiosity for any inquisitor to have.
    -A dark eldar surgical machine. Unless you have a XBAWKS HUEG xenotech skill, it will just tear the patient to shreds. If you can use it though, its surprisingly effective.
    -A masterwork plasmagun of xenos design.
    -A pair of dueling swords. Once turned on, they chain/bond to the users hands until one of the duelists is dead. If a player tries to dual wield them he is stuck not being able to drop them until he dies.
    -A Vortex grenade launcher with a single round. It is impossible to tell which end of the grenade launcher is the front. Hilarity ensues in times of crisis.

    Thats all for now.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:13 No.15622847
    An Eldar sniper/team... with a VERY powerful gun... who has a habit of 1 shotting players randomly during non-combat encounters in public places

    presumably all the loot comes on a ship of some sort. in the eatery of that ship, they find: food trays made of a greenish soapstone, shaped like a five-pointed star with the tips broken off. Makes any animals nearby uneasy, restless, and aggressive.

    alien pornography

    a power sword with a heron on the hilt

    spices, spirits, and salts... classic!

    a small transport, appropriate to an urban environment (mid- to upper- hive perhaps?). Unbeknownst to the players, massive quantities of illegal drugs have been stashed inside the vehicle
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:16 No.15622863
         File1310998580.jpg-(51 KB, 278x327, HK47.jpg)
    51 KB
    >A snarky trigger-happy red droid that constantly pleads to be allowed to kill people whenever there's an argument or dispute.

    "Translation: 98% probability that members of the miniature organic's tribe are being held by Sand People, master. Doubtless he wishes assistance. ... Translation: 2% probability that the miniature organic is simply looking for trouble and needs to be blasted. That may be wishful thinking on my part, master"

    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:17 No.15622871
    Starscream is the perfect Decepticon.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:24 No.15622903

    Um, what? Spirit Tracks was (literally) railroading garbage. The worst part if Phantom Hourglass was the repetitive spirit temple bullshit, but everything else was superior.

    Your goddamn boat-captain-sidekick was goddamn epic by the end.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:27 No.15622918
    >Power sword with a heron on the hilt
    despite me being completely sick of that series
    +1 internets
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:27 No.15622922
    No one blames you for being sick of an awful series.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:28 No.15622924

    Agreed. Spirit Tracks was the only Zelda game I couldn't be bothered to finish. Hell, I even polished off Minish Cap.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:28 No.15622931
    A leatherbound book written by some guy named Abdul Alhazred.
    An ancient close quarters projectile weapon with a price tag of 109.95 from something called "Smart".
    A used camel.
    A sealed envelope containing a joke written by Ernest Scribbler.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:32 No.15622956
    My entire motivation for playing a rogue trader game can be summed up in two ideas:

    Alex Murphy
    A sarcastic, care free murder machine and a half-human half-machine cyborg who knows only duty and service, teaming up to fight crime (and heresy) across the galaxy!
    Fuck yes you are the best odd couple evar!

    Anyway, to stay on track:
    - A leather bullwhip, worn fedora hat, and leather knapsack all neatly folded and stacked in a corner. If anyone attempts to use the bullwhip, they automatically cut their lip with it on their first try.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:37 No.15622989
    A small handheld device that morphs into 7 devies via switch on the side, the forms are: a universal translator, a telescope, a powerfull laser, a small jet pack, an energy shield, a plasma gun, the 7th setting is self-destruct. The only way to find out what the settings do is by trial and error.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:39 No.15622995
    An ancient metal box with rounded shape, caked wqith dirt and rust, but still intact. Auspex scans show some sort of primitive refrigeration circuit, but can't penetrate the inner shell. It opens easily. Inside is a male human of indeterminate age, wearing leather jacket and fedora He also carries an ancient stub pistol, and a leather bullwhip. He's asleep, but alive.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:41 No.15623007
    Meaning that Crystal Skull was nothing but a dream. And the nuke proppeled him into the 41st millenium. somehow
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:41 No.15623009
    A large belt with a circular buckle, a wind turbine set in the center. Simple design in general, and incredibly durable.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:43 No.15623020
    A games workshop store, complete with mummified staff and players
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)10:44 No.15623025
    -Several small fleshlike eggs. Four fleshy flaps on the top allow whatevers inside to get out. One is already open and empty.
    - A small high speed mining vessel designed to craft raw materials into something called "Sinibombs"
    - An oversized sentinel armed with a railgun. The railgun has 1 atomic warhead fitted into it.
    - A missile launcher that fires rocket-propelled chainsaws
    - Stasis pods containing a man and one dog. The name on the pod declares him as "Richard Dastard Lee"
    - The Book of Shuma Gorath
    - A Delorean DMC-12 antique motorcar, heavily modified.
    - Archaic steam powered Rail Vehicle, similarily modified
    - A bone shaped spacestation with a large theatre screen inside.
    - Plans for a exterminatus capable battlestation that on first glance, could be confused with a moon.
    - The Imperial Stormtroopers training manual (the section on "how to shoot" is not included)
    - A medical cryobay containing an old man, associated text states he has burns but closer inspection reveals him to have taken 32 consecutive stab wounds to the back.
    - The autobiography of "Blackbolt, king of the Inhumans". An audiobook.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:46 No.15623030
    A seemingly normal wooden mask with metal bands where there would be eyebrows. Smells kind of musky and shimmers when you look at the inside.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:46 No.15623032
    The skeleton of a man with a Chainsword attached like an augmetic hand, he holds a primitive Shotgun in other hand
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:47 No.15623040
    >And the nuke proppeled him into the 41st millenium.
    The fridge was good enough to keep him fresh for millions of years.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)10:47 No.15623042
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:54 No.15623092

    Dear lord.

    Not that. Anything but that.

    The last copy had been destroyed. Now, the universe is doomed.
    >> I apologised on 4chan !!857o4GkKJgy 07/18/11(Mon)10:56 No.15623105

    You should know better than to think the humour of Ernest Scribbler can ever be truly destroyed.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:57 No.15623116
    Actually. The plans for the deathstar there wouldn't be too bad an idea.

    Would be a great for the group to build it, gather resources, builders et cetera. And when it is done, more factions will want it than you can shake a stick at.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)10:58 No.15623122
    An inactive walker that could either be a Large dreadnought or a small titan. It is armed with Heavy lascannons in place of eyes, and a supply of Bombs on its back that inexplicably seem like they are designed to be thrown. The only marking on it is a star on it's shoulder. If activated, it will rant in a language that is unmistakeably human but not gothic and attempt to book passage to Tau space.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:03 No.15623152
    >> !SP5BRo9IC2 07/18/11(Mon)11:06 No.15623171

    Qirex is best craft!
    >> Commissar Squid 07/18/11(Mon)11:07 No.15623176
    A Orkoid bone crown. All of the craftsmanship is of the highest quality. The crown menaces with jade spikes.

    A silver floodgate. Engraved on the floodgate is the image of a Squat. The Squat is making a plaintive gesture.

    Part of a Ruined Statue, an enormous foot on a pedastle.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:07 No.15623178
         File1311001654.gif-(121 KB, 452x753, Dredd.gif)
    121 KB

    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:08 No.15623184
         File1311001690.png-(9 KB, 251x168, assegai.png)
    9 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:09 No.15623191
    I can't believe I missed these, they are fantastic. You may as well throw in Judge Death too.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:09 No.15623195
    -A vial with the inscription:"Krork heavy assault troops spores. Use in case of Necron invasion"

    -An old bottle of wine. The Label says: "Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1787 TJ"

    -A plastic package with something that looks like white flour.
    Passing a chemical test may determinate it's
    methyl (1R,2R,3S,5S)-3- (benzoyloxy)-8-methyl-8-azabicyclo[3.2.1] octane-2-carboxylate.
    Looks like some kind of old drug. There is a note in some language you don't know.
    Someone with knowledge in Language (pre-imperial) may read it. It says something about a drug dealer giving the "yeyo" to his boss and that the money would be there soon.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:21 No.15623272
    Maybe, if we cut it up, get a team of scientists to translate it into orcish one word at a time...

    Nah, the orcs will just think it's so funny, they'll have to tell all their mates...
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:21 No.15623273

    And maybe Martial Law too, right?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:24 No.15623288
    -an unobtrusive machine with a few slits and a rudimentary keypad and display. If anyone spends any length of time studying it, the display goes from "Insert PIN" to "Feed me a cat."

    -a small, cylindrical object with a lid. Further examination reveals a false botttom and several smaller cylinders a Magos Biologis would love to get their hands on.

    -a skeleton in a brown longcoat

    -a starmap revealing the location of one Tannhauser Gate

    -a small, cuddly creature that might have some form of sentience. The instructions it comes with, while they look important, are undecipherable.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:25 No.15623302
    >>- Several sheafs of hand written scripts, which if collated form a play called "the king in yellow"

    Oh god, oh god no, guaranteed madness for all the crew, even any already insane crew.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:34 No.15623356
    and some fucking noob elfdar in a Darkstar fighter comes along and blows the whole thing up, putting away his targeting computer and relying on the fucking voices of the infinity circuit.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:35 No.15623366
    -A gigantic metal humanoid. It has skinny legs and thrusters in the bottom of its feet. A crude 'S' is welded onto its chest.
    -A strange pressurised container. A small glass window on the side shows it to be full of grey gloop. Most of the writing on the container is scratched off, but what little you can make out says something about a guy called Von Neumann.
    -A pickelhaube
    -An entire Spanish galleon, full of worthless Aztec gold. Only good for melting down and using to build electronics in the grim future of 40k
    -A small primitive space pod with the markings CCCP on the outside. Inside is an extremely old space suit containing the skeleton of the unfortunate inhabitant
    -A large slimy egg shaped organic thing. It stands about 2 feet high and something occasionally moves inside.
    -A large ship. It's hard to make out the name due to various crew members being fused into various parts of the bulkheads and the hull. Between the bodies you make out the words USS PHI---ELPH--
    -A strange black human with a large beard and fuzzy hair. He stinks of cheap wine and keeps muttering things towards you. Apparently you are a 'white cunt' and he wants you to give him 2 of something called a dollar (presumably a currency on his planet?) so that he can use public transportation.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:37 No.15623376
    Copied from the SCP foundation website. http://www.scp-wiki.net/scp-046

    Description: SCP-046 is a synthetic organism approximately 5 cm in length, with a segmented bright red body that visually mimics the Glycera bloodworm (commonly used for fishing bait). It is composed of microscopic robotic structures encased in a flexible plastic epidermis. SCP-046 acts a parasite/parasitoid of mammals, displaying a strong preference for primates [DATA EXPUNGED].
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:38 No.15623383
    Continued -
    In isolation from mammals, SCP-046 remains inert. When any mammal comes within a ███-meter radius, SCP-046 will immediately seek it out, moving with a speed and efficiency not indicated by its appearance, climbing over or chewing through obstacles if possible. There is no known means of preventing SCP-046 from sensing the proximity of mammals.

    SCP-046 feeds by extending a large proboscis that bears four hollow, unusually strong tooth-like jaws connected to poison sacs. These jaws are composed of an unknown inorganic material and have disproportionate bite power for their size, allowing them to chew through most common materials. When in contact with a potential host, SCP-046 uses its jaws to breach host clothing and skin and enters the body, its poison completely numbing the bite area on contact. Most commonly, SCP-046 will move underneath the host's skin until it finds a blood-rich area such as the heart, brain, or genitalia. SCP-046 then burrows into the affected organ or area and slowly feeds.

    After █ to ██ days, SCP-046 transforms into a soft, black, spherical structure. After an incubation period of █ days to ███ months, this structure produces between ██ and ███ larvae of SCP-046, which consume the flesh of the host on emergence. Each new 'batch' of larvae shows slightly different qualities from the original instance of SCP-046, including [REDACTED].

    SCP-046 subsists on an unknown source of energy, and has never been observed to naturally run out of power. Contained instances that are not viewed remotely will constantly attempt to escape and attack any nearby mammal(s). Several instances have been attempting escape with no cessation of high physical activity since initial containment (in excess of 10 years), necessitating regular repair of enclosures.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:44 No.15623421
    if you link more then one thing from the scp wesite I will reach past tcp-ip and bitchslap you to death.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:44 No.15623422
         File1311003852.jpg-(9 KB, 281x180, just normal statues.jpg)
    9 KB
    Under a mountain of gold and old silverware, they find a withered stone statue that might once have resembled an angel.
    >> Commissar Squid 07/18/11(Mon)11:49 No.15623462
    A crate of purring furry balls of fluff, the label on the crate is damaged reads: W-r--ng! Tri-bl-s
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:50 No.15623473
         File1311004211.jpg-(98 KB, 477x460, 1310019002397.jpg)
    98 KB
    An ancient book, withered from time, that claims (in a highly ornate, difficult to read hybrid of High Gothic and Techni Lingua) that Mankind is actually the second galactic civilization to evolve on Holy Terra. The story of this "Silaurian" civilization is something like pic related.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:51 No.15623483
    Have the players find a suit of power armour with magical runes glowing on the chest. The suit however if missing a boot.

    Later, have the players find a power boot, with magical glowing runes on it. When they go to put the boot on the power armour the armour is gone.

    Later, have them find a suit of power armour with glowing runes on it. When theygo to put the boot on it, the boot is gone.

    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:54 No.15623506
    Pottery decorated with pic related.

    A box full of small metal representations of soldiers. Paper notes included in the box have long since rotted past all recognition, so their true purpose is a mystery.

    A missing first page of the Ecclessiarchy's most holy book. It reads:

    "To my dear wife Candy

    All characters and events depicted herein are fictional and bare no resemblance to any events or figures alive or dead"
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:54 No.15623509
    An ornated wooden box like the one that nobles use to keep their dueling pistols in but far to large to hold just two pistols.
    Inside it they will find two flintlock pistoles and two banjos.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:56 No.15623517
         File1311004561.jpg-(73 KB, 570x625, 1308052243844.jpg)
    73 KB
    >confound this captcha

    In the treasure vaults they find pottery decorated with pic related.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:59 No.15623537
    Soap with bacon in it
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)11:59 No.15623540
    "I made it myself!"
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:00 No.15623546
    Old master work pieces of art from various xeno empires.
    A necklace of Ork Tusks, a proper knowledge check tells you that tucks of that size could have only come from powerful warbosses.
    An Abominable Intelligence from the Wars of Iron in the Dark Age of Technology, reduced to a windbag since it isnt hooked up to anything.
    40K vidya gaem system. (even in the future, online lobbies are still full of prepubescent racists)
    Old, possibly banned literature from the Imperium, players could look for a buyer
    A genuine beer stein from Fenris
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:01 No.15623551
    A paper STC archive they determine to contain the construction information for a type of man portable directed energy weapon. Powerful enough to remove limbs with a single shot, a large magazine capacity, robust design, simple and quick reloading of the magazine, relatively simple maintenance. And cheap enough to produce supplies for dozens of armies.

    Yes, they found their STC fragment of the campaign. It's a lasgun. M36 Kantrael.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:03 No.15623565
    Come at me bro
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:06 No.15623578
    >why not kill starscream?

    /co/ here. Starscream, as much of a bastard as he was, had one redeeming quality.

    He was undefeated in the air.

    Go back and watch G1. Count up the number oftimes starscream, in jet mode, looses a dogfight.


    He was a badass pilot, and the only decepticon never to loose a fight in vehicle mode.

    Sadly, on foot, he sucked as much as any other decepticon.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:08 No.15623595
    >Sadly, on foot, he sucked as much as any other decepticon.
    Depends entirely on the series/episode. Starscream is a badass quite a lot of the time. And as you point out, he's the Air Commander for a reason.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:09 No.15623597
    >-An entire Spanish galleon, full of worthless Aztec gold. Only good for melting down and using to build electronics in the grim future of 40k
    Given the law of Age to Badass in 40k said Galleon can probably take the entire Necron civilization in a straight up fight while blowing up the eye of terror and punching the Nids in the dick.

    Also the Tau blipped out of existence as soon as it's sails unfurled.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:14 No.15623639
         File1311005667.jpg-(37 KB, 411x238, sg.jpg)
    37 KB
    Why do you think the Star Galleon is one of the finest ships in the Imperium?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:16 No.15623652
         File1311005784.jpg-(22 KB, 210x264, SparrowBasic.jpg)
    22 KB
    I've got a better idea:
    An entire galleon full of cursed Aztec gold
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:16 No.15623655
    I smiled.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:17 No.15623661

    It should of course be named Cortez.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:19 No.15623672
         File1311005949.jpg-(100 KB, 736x592, cwcFAIL_crew.jpg)
    100 KB
    A primitive yellow medallion that seems to have been made in the image of a horrid mutant beast.

    The magic of the medallion repels all members of the opposite sex up to 50 feet away.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:22 No.15623696

    Well, then my heretic wont be troubled with Sisters of Battle anymore.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:29 No.15623745
    More like CONQUISTADOR-class star galleon.
    >> Commissar Squid 07/18/11(Mon)12:36 No.15623804
    -Lost Nazi-stolen art
    -A skeleton in a decayed void suit. The worn nametag reads 'MAJ. TOM'
    -Log Book titled 'Enola Gay'
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:43 No.15623852
         File1311007388.jpg-(25 KB, 308x320, spocks_beard.jpg)
    25 KB

    Seriously they're standing right over there. Except some of them have goatee's and claim to come from "The Federation of Man."
    >> Voge Gandire !!XTu+8ESfHFY 07/18/11(Mon)12:47 No.15623878
    A mining drill with "ULTOR CORPORATION" printed on the side.
    >> Spawn_More_Synaps 07/18/11(Mon)12:53 No.15623914
         File1311007999.jpg-(151 KB, 800x800, 1210126319859hw3[1] color.jpg)
    151 KB
    rolled 68 = 68

    -a par or bizarre looking (if incredibly powerful) ork titans one is pic related, the other has face for a torso and a massive drill attachment, the cockpits labled with the names Gork and Mork respectivly.
    >> Commissar Squid 07/18/11(Mon)12:53 No.15623918
    Slumped against a wall in a cobwebbed shadowy corner, decayed bespectacled corpse sits, dressed in red and white striped shirt and beanie and blue jeans, its skeletal hand clutching a cane
    >> Not LongPoster... 07/18/11(Mon)12:54 No.15623923
    "Federation of Man" sounds rather speciesist, don't you think? Maybe something like "Galactic Federation" or "United Federation of Planets"?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:56 No.15623931
         File1311008185.jpg-(12 KB, 250x240, 250px-Xenomorph_poise.jpg)
    12 KB
    They find a bunch of big, leathery eggs. They seem to be fertilized.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)12:58 No.15623939
    HA! Found the bugger.
    >> Spawn_More_Synaps 07/18/11(Mon)13:03 No.15623968
    -what looks like a carefully contaned Tyranid tissue sample, for some reason its labled Zerg
    -six small skeletons of some presumably extinct equine-like xeno
    -another tissue sample simply labled Tendril
    -an ancient robot head babbling incoheirently in some long dead lanuage (we would know it as spanish)
    -an incredibly old sword that is still in perfect condition, the muttering of "heads" can repetedly heard at times
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)13:05 No.15623983
    Down that path lies cross-over fan fics. No man must go down that path.
    >> Commissar Squid 07/18/11(Mon)13:14 No.15624037
    -Steering column from a 1939 Studebaker Champion
    -A container labeled only as 'Skub'
    -8 or 9 chests containing currency of a planet in the Kronus Expanse the currency looks surprisingly like flattened bottle-caps
    -Bones of a Void Whale
    >> Not LongPoster... 07/18/11(Mon)13:15 No.15624039
    Mmm. How about "Orion Federation" (since Earth is in the Orion Arm of the Milky Way) or "Pax Galactica"?

    >genitalia essinui
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)13:21 No.15624096

    A closer inspection reveals that while the Ultor corporation made the device, a later owner customised it with purple and gold paint, fleur de lis devices and oversized spinning rims.
    >> Commissar Squid 07/18/11(Mon)13:24 No.15624117
    Stacked atop a strange hover-sled
    -Crate of Wobbly-Headed Geisha Dolls.
    -Crate of Fruity Oaty Bars
    -Crate of Apple Remains
    >> Spawn_More_Synaps 07/18/11(Mon)13:26 No.15624128
    -a vial contaning an unknown color changing substance that freaquently teleports randomly
    -some ancient vehichle with an overly colorful paint job, still smells of dog and weed
    -some four armed robotic frame, vagely resembles necron tech
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)13:26 No.15624132
    >Fruity Oaty Bars
    "Hey there's a map to some planet called Miranda on the wrapper."
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)13:32 No.15624168
         File1311010322.jpg-(163 KB, 740x1081, Asari.jpg)
    163 KB
    A asari in a stasus tube.
    >> Commissar Squid 07/18/11(Mon)13:38 No.15624221
    - 4 Incom fusial thrust engines
    - 1 broken Taim & Bak KX9 laser cannon
    >> Scotguy !XuwMz6o10k 07/18/11(Mon)14:01 No.15624409
    a large block of ice held in stasis, inside is a large ring, a smaller device and a person in ornate armour who appears to be using the smaller device

    a humanoid robot made of crome with one wide eye, it appears to have a mohawk.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)14:01 No.15624410
    Stuffed trophies of rare and dangerous xeno beasts
    The personal Crisis suit of a Tau general
    The head of a powerful sorcerer (Psykers sense a presence in the head)
    A rubix cube
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)14:14 No.15624504
    Twinkies. A rare and exotic treat from ancient Terra, still edible and fresh, said to be eaten at times by He Himself.

    Also a Dragon.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)14:39 No.15624709
    >A used camel.

    Only mildly retarded?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)14:46 No.15624773
    "Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator"

    shiny yellow pelt from a ruminative animal wrapped around a pouch of lizard teeth and a metallic avian statue

    a repair station with assorted spare parts including large mecha with what appears to be a retrofitted independent vehicular device in place of command module note attached reads "I like this.Do you like this?.heh GIRLS may like this :)"
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)14:51 No.15624817
         File1311015060.jpg-(159 KB, 1150x640, 1282419744715.jpg)
    159 KB
    Some serious answers:

    - A heavily damaged suit of Astartes Mk IV 'Maximus' Power Armor in Storm Wardens livery. It is currently non-functional and the damage it has sustained surely killed its wearer.
    - Xenotech devices and datacores. The devices give off faint radioactivity, but do not seem to purposely generate it. They are, instead, simply radioactive by virtue of having previously existed in a highly radioactive environment.
    - A Carnelian Sievestone
    - An Archeotech Las Pistol
    - A thin rod that, if properly examined by those knowledgeable of such things, will be an Argonite Whistler.
    - A Bloodlock Bolt chest, that has been foolishly forced open in the past, no doubt by unwitting Stryxis.
    - An ornate case containing a matched pair of best-quality dueling-las pistols and a matched pair of best quality mono-swords or powerswords. Both case and weapons bear the livery of a famous (and possibly still active) Calixis Noble Family.
    - Several bolts of Shifting Fabric.
    - The Lord Captain's Baton of an Imperium Transport missing for decades/centuries.
    - A Locus Seeker (see Deathwatch), with no matching Locus Caller present. It of course does point to the caller, but who knows where it lies?
    - A Fedrid Soul Mask
    - A Fykos Forge "Nomad" Hunting Instrument.
    - A stasis case containing a variety of vintage Jeliqs, Gyns, Amasecs, and Quaddis Wines. Perfect for dining with dignitaries or gifting bottles on visits abroad.
    - A Sollex-Aegis Energy Blade (aka the Calixis Lightsaber), whether it still works or not is up to you.
    - A Lathe Blade, in Axe Form. (because swords are overrated)
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)14:55 No.15624866
    - A large mysterious ring-like object proximately 20 feet in diameter. It is covered in 39 unusual glyphs. There is also a altar-like control panel with the same 39 glyphs on it.

    - A squadron of Non-STC pattern starfighters. Experimentation eventually shows that they can transform into roughly dreadnaught sized piloted walkers.

    - Several data disks loaded with videos of the mission reports of several different Dark Age-era Starships, most of them sharing the same name.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)14:57 No.15624887
    a strange right-handed glove of unknown origins, the middle finger is plated with gold and a diamond where the nail would be
    if you hold your hand out, palm up but with fist closed, and extend only the middle finger, you will instantly come up with the greatest insult possible to whoever or whatever you are pointing the fist at.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:01 No.15624913
    a sphere-like object that looks like an eye, has a green 'iris', when touched it lights up and begins talking
    has an extreme like for adventure, dislikes people who ramble
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:06 No.15624951
    >>15623804 thanks digs out changes cd

    also found hand held model name tagged prototype with what appears to be a red leather seat numerical display and large metal disk at rear that spins when pushed.In seat is a broken cylindrical wrap of leaves.
    >> Scotguy !XuwMz6o10k 07/18/11(Mon)15:09 No.15624970
         File1311016184.jpg-(142 KB, 717x650, 2042009-3114.jpg)
    142 KB
    the piles of gold are just an illusion,

    the 'treasure' is actually a armoury a Magus would be jelous of

    conversion beamers, vortex grenades, bolters, assault cannons, landspeeders, battle-tanks, flyers, small assault landers etc.

    the only part of the vault which is accesable is a large hanger with a small console to one side, you select from the console and an automated retrival system fetches the item(s) and brings them up in a lift

    any attempt to ride the lift back down reveals that the vault is sealed as a vacuum...
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 07/18/11(Mon)15:13 No.15625003

    The Arch-Militant used the lightsaber. It's a great weapon. Too bad you don't add your strength bonus to it.
    >> Scotguy !XuwMz6o10k 07/18/11(Mon)15:15 No.15625020
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:17 No.15625035
         File1311016642.jpg-(10 KB, 259x194, imagesCAO1CQBE.jpg)
    10 KB
    >What strange and wondrous items should they find buried in those mountains of crap

    6 of them.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:18 No.15625048
    >They think Eldar actually live on their own Maiden Worlds.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:19 No.15625063
    Assorted beautifully gilded cutlery in a hardcase box lined with the finest velvet.

    The cutlery are ,apart from very beautiful in them selves, fully working digiweapons.
    Forks - Digilas
    Knives - Digineedler
    Spoons - Digiflamer
    Teaspoons - Digimelta
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:21 No.15625090
    A somewhat large, red pistol. Close inspection reveals that it can only load one shell at a time.

    Next to the weapon is a small box of shells, most of the shells are gone except from a trio of shells marked 4, 9 and 13.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:22 No.15625094
    The sarcophagus of the pirate queen Bettie "Worldraper" White whose ferocity and thirst for bodily augmentation is remembered even in the 41st Grimdark. The readouts say you have approx. 13 seconds before stasis terminates.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:24 No.15625107
         File1311017050.jpg-(245 KB, 1200x867, Books-TenjinHidetakaArtworksOf(...).jpg)
    245 KB

    Nevermind they'd be hilarious undersized. Imperium strike craft are massive compared to most sci-fi space fighters.
    >> Shas'o R'myr !!J5+vjygjQuK 07/18/11(Mon)15:26 No.15625131

    Well, their walker form was the size of buildings. The jet form was also bigger than a conventional jet. While still smaller than a Fury, the size difference is not that noticeable.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:27 No.15625141

    >An extremely advanced archeotech weapons system in the shape of an Aquilla. When activated, it bonds to the user on a molecular level and allows them to generate weaponry such as monomolecular swords. It also appears to have some kind of etiquette training program as a subroutine.

    WHat's this?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:30 No.15625169
    Dante's crest, although it could be any of the Romanov family crests, from Nikolai Dante. If the bonding is weak (Dante's a bastard) blade generation is about all you get out of it. If there is no genetic link the bonding will just kill you. Better bonding gives superior powers.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:31 No.15625173
    They also continually got bigger. Starting with the VF-11 and on, it's obvious the mecha were built much bigger than the original VF-1J units. One episode of Macross 7 has Basara flying around in City-7 with Milia in her old VF-1J, and the VF-19 that Basara flies is MUUUUUCH bigger than the VF-1J.

    Still not quite the size of all buildings, but yeah, they were a few stories tall in Battroid mode.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:31 No.15625174
         File1311017497.jpg-(190 KB, 500x411, Nikolai_Dante_Family_Romanov_h.jpg)
    190 KB
    Derp, forgot image.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:32 No.15625183
    the treasure consists of tonnes upon tonnes of gold, precious jewels, art objects and even some highly decorated and very old weapons.
    A vortex grenade is hallways embedded in a pile of gold doubloons. If anyone tried to dislodge the grenade, janks it out or fails a -20 awareness test (thin tripwire) they hear a *plink* and a small screen on the grenade starts ticking down from 60 seconds

    Congratulations. The crew now has a minute to grab as much loot they can carry before they are blown to kingdom come. GET KRAKKIN'!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:33 No.15625187
    Several test tubes of a chemical labeled "AUM."

    A Golden Apple

    A single pyramid shaped cell, held in a stasis pod with the name "Leviathan" etched on it.

    A submersible vehicle almost the size of an imperial starship named "The Leif Ericson"
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:35 No.15625213
    A box full of metal orbs that say "pick me up" on one side of them.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:35 No.15625214
    a man, dna traced back to terra, in stasis, wears a white and red cloak. has strange clockwork weapons, mostly concealed
    if let out of stasis, he will turn out to be an assassin who is on par with the best the assassinorium has to offer
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:35 No.15625217
    They find a limestone statue with fractal, unending depictions of the universe, itself, toads and squares.

    It is the middle point of the universe.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:38 No.15625226
    a locked room containing SCP-173
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:40 No.15625247

    At first I thought Karl Ruprecht Kroenen due to clockwork.

    But then I couldn't work it out. What is it?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:42 No.15625258
    Out of curiosity, how would the players have acted if the Eldar asked for the planet's census or to actually inspect their purchase, as any even slightly sensible buyer would do?
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:43 No.15625267
         File1311018199.jpg-(442 KB, 821x718, Hashashin_by_wraithdt.jpg)
    442 KB

    Altair or Ezio.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:43 No.15625275
    Assassins Creed
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:47 No.15625296
    You did not seem to list the fifth object. There's gotta be a fifth one.
    Or perhaps it's there, but I've been conditioned not to notice it.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:55 No.15625373
    What in the hell is this SCP stuff? I've been browsing that site for a while but I haven't been able to make heads or tails of anything.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)15:55 No.15625375
    what? there is a fifth item, can't you see the fifth item? it starts with F. and sounds like Bored.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)16:04 No.15625460
    Fun thread. congratulations guys. Also, an huge human-like face in some sort of containment jar. Bio-scans say that the face is over a million years old and the face claims to be from the Boshan Peninsula.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)16:37 No.15625762
    a selection of wooden treasure chests
    the one in front has lots of small legs around the base and appears to be watching you
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)16:44 No.15625816
         File1311021872.jpg-(91 KB, 435x256, heresyyousay.jpg)
    91 KB
    Good news, everyone! The explroator has decided to fashion the cubic zirconia into bling for the Leman Russ. The majority of it has been shaped into a shell.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)17:25 No.15626203
         File1311024350.jpg-(142 KB, 535x499, 1307084096869.jpg)
    142 KB
    a box; that when opened, reveals to contain a sqaud of 6 (ultra) miniature neutronium golems.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:09 No.15627934
    It's all fake reports written by people for a fake organization. The basic premise is these guys (the SCP foundation) find and contain any sci-fi, occult, or just plain otherworldly wierdness in the world, to keep people safe from it, and often vice-versa.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:13 No.15627973
    A million angry Biel-tan aspect warriors pouring onto their ship to punish the Mon-keigh for the CRIME OF DARING TO SET FOOT UPON A MADIEN WORLD!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:25 No.15628091
    I know I'm late to the party but what about (oh, sorry if I repeat, I didn't read all the replies):

    A stack of circular discs, which if placed in a appropriately calibrated cogitator play Livin' in the '90s, The Bomb - The Best of Parliament Funkadelic, Mott The Hooples Greatest Hit (yes, singular), the complete library of AC/DC, Prince's entire collection (including everything in that vault at Paisley Park), and the audiobook of Rich Dad, Poor Dad.

    A copy of the Voynich Manuscript

    A complete collection of Chick Tracts

    A collection of G.I. Joes, Transformers, and Ninja Turtle toys in mint condition (STILL IN BOX!)

    The Art of Frank Frazetta

    A gorgeous leather couch, properly stuffed, with a built in recliner and remote control drawer, that when turned at just the right angle, immediately expands just enough to make it subsequently immoveable. Oddly enough, that angle will be achieved when attempting to install the couch in the Captain's Quarters. The couch is incredibly difficult to dissemble by conventional means as it is the a vessel of the power of the minor Chaos god Yecht, Lord of Inconvenience

    A 3 TB hard drive full of quality porn

    A pontiff's mitre

    A quality compound miter saw from the Dark Age of Technology (they don't make 'em like they used to)

    >> Spawn_More_Synaps 07/18/11(Mon)20:33 No.15628168
         File1311035587.jpg-(19 KB, 480x357, 1310850073303[1].jpg)
    19 KB
    -a can of shaving cream, with a hidden compartment, containing embryos of long extinct animals
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:38 No.15628230
         File1311035893.png-(149 KB, 304x458, robo.png)
    149 KB
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:39 No.15628248
    So has this thread been archived? This is a thread that would actually be useful to be able to bookmark come back to as needed.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:41 No.15628259
    The manuscript is translated even.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:48 No.15628344
    rolled 4, 10 = 14

    A Slaaneshi artifact; The Cube of Perfection: A solid cubic metre of pink marble of such mathematical perfection and simplicity, causes all who stare upon it to become insane while looking at it, and it's found covered in a purple silk with golden thread blanket.

    A prototype Dark Eldar WMD that contains a miniaturised black hole.

    A giant ant farm that contains Catachan Bull Ants, which are a foot long.

    A DAoT AI that has gone so catastrophically rampant that all it does is scream paradoxes at the players.

    A stasis pod that contains a silk tie, which appears to be at least 39000 years old on closer observation of the pod.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:48 No.15628346
    I personally like this idea

    A man in cryo stasis with no appearance of a face with multiple swords and knives run through his body. In the center of his back is a power sword. When opened he springs to life and runs very fast.

    This could lead to a hunt within the bowels of their own ship.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:51 No.15628370
    - a tube-like fish in a bowl. If one presses their ear to the tank while somebody is speaking a language they do not understand, they hear whispers coming from the fish.

    - a large hammer that is balanced for throwing. Its haft is short, and it comes with a pair of heavy gloves.

    - a ring with writing on its inside. Those who wear the ring turn invisible.

    - a young girl who appears to be human, standing watch over a chain shirt and a rapier.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)20:56 No.15628420
    A dataslate with a leather cover that reads DON'T PANIC.

    If read, it mainly contains recipes for alchoholic drinks.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:06 No.15628521
         File1311037606.jpg-(237 KB, 1200x800, MetalGearRexX[1].jpg)
    237 KB
    In the hold, your crew finds:

    An archaeotech vehicle.
    Its armor and weapon systems are advanced for its time, but it is beyond ancient, in severe disrepair, with rusted holes punched into the carapace, obvious water and munitions damage, and in several loosely "repaired" pieces.

    Your techpriests identify are a possible archaeotech Warhound Pattern Titan, as it bears a striking similarity, and could easily pass for a boxier, grey, and obviously older model.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:11 No.15628580

    I think that's already been done, I recall reading a thread on here about a game of DH/RT (I can't remember which) which involved Slaaneshi cultists, a giant demon snake who's theme music was one of the battle tunes from Bayonetta, and the Titan version of Big O ("Cast in the name of the Emperor, ye not heretic.").
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:19 No.15628664
    An immense, lattice-like metal structure containing dozens or possibly hundreds of human-sized glass tubes. The tubes appear to be frosted over with ice from the inside, and they cannot be seen through; any attempt to break the glass results in the tool or ammunition used simply bouncing off.

    There is a single control panel on the front of the lattice, measuring 3 feet by 3 feet. There is an LED display and one small, black button. If the button is pushed, the LED display begins counting down from 72 hours.

    The first time the crew try to sleep during during this period, they hear the sound of a light rustle, like a breeze in the grass, through the ship. As they sleep, it grows louder. They will be woken after roughly eight hours by words almost too faint to hear, and those perceptive enough will be able to discern from the noise a short, whispy message: "Don't wake us."

    Any attempt to destroy the control panel, remove the button or stop the countdown will fail. Should the crew eject the lattice and the pods, the whispers and noises will stop.

    Until the next time they try to sleep after 72 hours have passed; regardless of where the lattice was left or the distance covered those close enough to the outer paneling of the ship will hear slow, insistent scratches from the outside of the vessel.
    >> tgdude 07/18/11(Mon)21:23 No.15628703
    - an experimental model talking archotech servo skull. Functions as a Savant but only gives sarcastic responses. Its first words are 'Hiya Chief!'

    - An ancient dataslate partially charred and smudged with ash. It contains the coordinates to an forgotten 'Squat outpost'. The codename for this location is Boatmurdered.

    - Two ornate scimitars and a small onyx figurine of a large cat.

    - A top that never seems to stop spinning. Resourceful Admechs can use this as a gyroscope. Psykers are disturbed.

    - A stasis tube with a small anthropomorphic skeleton of a rat clad in a cape and cowl holding a miniature scythe. Rats flee the object instinctively.

    - An animate head of clay of xenos make with fiery eyes. Likes long debates on religion and philosophy, but clearly atheist.

    - A dust caked archotech dataslate embedded in a forearm bracelet. The bracelet is solid gold and the etching 'Pimp' is barely visible.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:30 No.15628773
    I LOVE that story.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:35 No.15628818
    An STC catalog from the very last years of the Dark Age of Technology, detailing templates that can still be purchased if you just mail a currency that no longer exists to a planet that no longer has life on it using a communications network that hasn't functioned in nearly 20,000 years.

    The real value of this item is that it has probably the most complete listing of STC templates in existence, as well as a few hints (thanks to the mailing address and such) on where to start looking for the place that made them.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:43 No.15628901
    rolled 9 = 9

    An archeotech servitor that is converting all the trash into compressed cubes.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:51 No.15629010
    rolled 12 = 12

    Two statues of the Lost Primarchs, labelled with their names and legions. The heads are missing, the paint is gone and the names are worn away leaving only a few letters comprehensible.

    A life-sized statue of a strange Xeno beast. Exposing it to liquid turns it into flesh.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:52 No.15629021
    rolled 27 = 27

    A statue from it looks like Ancient Terra in the shape of one of it's continents. You can vaguely make out Mann Co. Salesman of the year on it.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:52 No.15629022
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:56 No.15629067
    I love each and every single one of these loot lists. May the God-Emperor bless all of you glorious wonderful fa/tg/uys!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:57 No.15629077
         File1311040654.gif-(313 KB, 500x212, tumblr_ldwj4oqxWU1qf4v5to1_500.gif)
    313 KB
    Pimped out Pip Boy for the win!
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)21:58 No.15629089
    rolled 20 = 20

    An Ancient space capsule with a long dead man inside wearing a space suit with the name tag Major Tom.
    >> tgdude 07/18/11(Mon)21:59 No.15629100
         File1311040787.jpg-(46 KB, 400x400, 1309978659799.jpg)
    46 KB
    You sir

    "Ground control to Major Tom...."
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:02 No.15629130
         File1311040945.jpg-(126 KB, 507x893, The Harrowing1.jpg)
    126 KB
    An Echoing Vault or a fragment thereof.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:02 No.15629131
    rolled 70 = 70

    Hooked on Phonics by Indrick Boreale
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:03 No.15629135
         File1311040994.jpg-(125 KB, 517x895, The Harrowing2.jpg)
    125 KB
    Because how better to follow up a year's worth of fucking over spess elves than by FUCKING OVER ALL OF EXISTENCE?

    ...no, seriously.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:03 No.15629137
    rolled 99 = 99

    A corpse of a Xeno. Analysis proves it to be a Old One. It sits in a stasis chamber labeled "KROAK", and radiates powerful psychic signals.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:05 No.15629158
         File1311041138.jpg-(31 KB, 310x310, redgreen.jpg)
    31 KB
    rolled 63 = 63

    a disk that you can vaguely make out the best of the Red Green show and a crate filled with dozens of rolls of strange silver adhesive tape.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:06 No.15629169
         File1311041193.jpg-(52 KB, 690x633, mask.jpg)
    52 KB
    A rather unremarkable tribal mask, carved from wood, its origins, either feral human or xeno is unknown.

    Psykers detect a powerful presence within the mask if they make a VERY difficult check, it hides itself well.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:07 No.15629178
    if there is an ork in OP's party it will probably think he's a prophet of Gork and Mork.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:09 No.15629191
    >Some sort of humanoid mutant, it's skin still glowing in patches in an archaic void-suit with a large glass bubble helmet, long dead.
    another Fallout reference?

    I got most of the other ones
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:13 No.15629234
         File1311041633.jpg-(25 KB, 216x282, WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg)
    25 KB
    >ork watches the stuff on the disk
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:16 No.15629252
    What appears to be a mummified xeno clutching a small blue box. All that can be determined from the remains is that the xeno had four legs, a long tail, and no mouth.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:18 No.15629270
    anon you are my new best friend. nostalgia'd like a mofo.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:30 No.15629361
    -A man dressed in red and white striped clothes, when the players find him he shouts "WOW!! Took you long enough!!"
    -A data slate, the only thing on it it the message "Kill Strelok"
    -A small robot that somehow moves using only one wheel, when activated it folows the PCs around, saying obvious things, beat-boxes very poorly, and is generaly very anoying
    -A box conatining the corrpse of a man, inscribed on the inside is hundreds of numbers and the phrase "THE NUMBERS MASON, WHAT DO THEY MEAN?!?!??!"
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:30 No.15629367
    - In a pair Clear cryotubes they find a tall, dark haired gentleman dressed in the manner of an Imperial Commissar. He carries an extremely well worn las-pistol and chain sword and seems to be wearing some extremely heavily damaged carapace armor beneath his slightly untucked shirt.

    In the second tube is an extremely ugly hulk of a man still carrying what looks like a battered Melta gun and wearing clothes which suggest he is an extremely unkempt imperial guardsman - his uniform style that of a valhallan soldier.

    Written on a plaque in front of the tank is a rune of activation hooked up to the tank and the words "In the event of the possibility of Mankind's Certain Doom, Press Button." - No other information is given.

    - A set of ancient documents proclaiming the bearers to be the rightful owners and rulers of several absurdly wealthy paradise, hive and factory worlds by the direct authority of The Emperor Himself - But only if they can complete a set of mysterious, difficult challenges and quests to find the appropriate wax seals to affix to the documents.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:31 No.15629376
    - An ancient, Pre-heresy bolt pistol with it's ammunition magazine welded to the chassis - Upon the magazine is scrawled in a crude carving the symbol for infinity. Users will find the pistol never runs out of ammunition - and will at random fire specialized ammunition more commonly seen with elite space marine forces with no explanation as to how it does this. Any attempt to remove the magazine fails regardless of the power levels involved. Scrawled along the chassis are the words "In The Name of IDKFA"

    - A servo skull with a vocalizer and apparently home to a rather wisecracking machine spirit who possesses a vast array of knowledge on the maintanence, usage of, and care of Archeotech and other ancient weapons and machines dating as far back as the dark age of technology - as well as a vast array of tactical and strategic knowledge about warfare. He also knows an absurd amount about the events of The Age of Apostasy and the events of The Macharius Crusades - but knows little to nothing of galactic events up to that point. However, he can only be appeased to release some of this information with the offerings of extremely graphic pornography both visual and audible that are 'new' to him on a regular basis.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:33 No.15629388

    Nope. Second one's AI. Blammed for heresy.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:34 No.15629390
    A large, lean gray alien with a gray body, scythelike claws and teeth that make it look like it has a very creepy grin.
    A stasis pod containing a man wearing clothes of an ancient style. His hand is clutching a strange whip that can wrap itself in flames or gain the density of metal when attacking with it. Upon awakening the man will try to whip the nearest light sources, and if that fails will start throwing axes, crosses, knives and water flasks at anyone who attacks him.
    A small boy clad in strange blue armor. His arms will turn into plasma weapons when threatened, and he can replicate the effects of any weapon he touches.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:38 No.15629423
         File1311043084.jpg-(77 KB, 256x256, links_awakening_box_81029503.jpg)
    77 KB

    >- A drum, cello, conch horn, bell, harp, marimba, triangle and small piano organ.

    I came.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:52 No.15629532
    An ancient, Double barreled shotgun made of blued cobolt steel, with an ash stock and a hair trigger. Written upon the barrel on both sides in ancient earth english is the phrase "Hail to the king, baby." - It is loaded and next to a brand new box of shells - approximately 20 of them - from somewhere called "S-Mart" - When fired at any enemy, it deals 1D10X1D10 damage, and ignores all damage resistances or nullification effects, but only when using the ammunition found either in the gun or in the box. The weapon will cause incomparable damage to absolutely anything living or unliving in the universe regardless of age or mitigating factors.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)22:59 No.15629582
         File1311044383.jpg-(178 KB, 570x413, minidisc_sony_mz1.jpg)
    178 KB
    pic related

    /It's INCREDIBLY advanced, people
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:15 No.15629689
    A complete suit of goldplated power armor, with purple, reinforced portions made from a strange alloy, and far in advance of anything currently in use by the imperium. Has pauldrons big enough to make space marines blush, and an armcannon of alien design. For unexplainable reasons, custom made to fit a tall woman.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:21 No.15629729
         File1311045717.gif-(2 KB, 80x80, wrenface.gif)
    2 KB
    Under the pile, you find...the Omnissiah! It's completely devoid of emotion, knows not the purpose of humor, yet never fails to deliver biting punchlines.

    Also excessively armed with anti-matter pulse cannons, darkmatter rifles, and miniaturized plasmalaunchers. In fact, the lightest weapon carried is comparable to a multi-melta, but merely serves as a fail-safe way to vent heat and radiation from its reactor.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:22 No.15629732
    This thread is win
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:27 No.15629783
    >Several sheafs of hand written scripts, which if collated form a play called "the king in yellow"
    Fuck this shit, the enitre cahace is going out the airclock
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:35 No.15629845

    everyone vote this awesome thread up
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:37 No.15629862
    >Nametag reads MAJ TOM
    >> Commissar Squid 07/18/11(Mon)23:41 No.15629888
    More serious/non-reference stuff

    - Xeno Jewelry that appears to be made of commonplace imperial items.
    -Chandelier made of Acilipsion Star Glass.
    -Prayer beads from Xeno Monastery
    -Giant Xeno Beetle Carapace .
    -Cadian Barking toad leather
    -Book of Imperial prayers
    -Fancy Urn
    -Canister of Ungents and bottles of sacred oils
    -Cask of blue syrupy fluid (may hold significance to xeno buyer)
    -Locker of (6) Imperial Las rifles
    -Carton of Taback sticks
    -Sack of animal claws
    -Data-slate containing the Log of a ship that last flew in early M3
    -Package of exotic feathers
    -Jar of incense.
    -Wrapped in dark cloth, two very long, thick, candles, ritual religious tokens from an exotic civilization.
    -Horned Helm of bronze and wood.
    -Chest of small marble stones, currency of an eliptical xeno race.
    -Small occult pocket book
    -Birch Club
    -Iron Chest with a dagger inside of it.
    -Platinum amulets
    -Mechanical severed tentacle
    -Servo-drill Rig
    -Captains seat from no longer manufactured ship.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:41 No.15629890
         File1311046918.gif-(2.02 MB, 312x176, weeping angel.gif)
    2.02 MB
    >4 statues that appear to be made of stone but whose actual compositions are indeterminate, they take the shape of 4 winged women with screaming faces, looking into each others eyes as they stand in a circle, they resist being moved

    One of your crewmembers takes a picture for your records.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:43 No.15629903
    -A fancy gauntlet with a large circular gem in the palm of the hand. Any psyker that wears the gauntlet will gain the ability to reroll one nine on any roll they make.
    -A disk about a meter in diameter that is made of a nearly indestructible material. If your party has a techpriest, he will be able to interface with the disk and discover that it has a very advanced machine spirit, can float (holding up to half a ton) and contains a vast library of ancient history and tech.
    -A sword, about four foot long and only about an inch wide. Closer inscpection shows that the blade is made out of living metal and has a microscopic chainsword like edge and the sword actively moves to weak points in armor when swung at a target.
    -An energy weapon of some sort, that is capable both of blasts as powerful as a plasma cannon and an almost continuous stream of energy fire as strong as a lasgun. Instead of 'getting hot' the weapon simply jams for a round and harmlessly vents the excess heat.
    -A small cube that always displays the thing that whoever is holding the cube holds most dear.
    -A lighter that has a black flame. (unknown to party, if used in the presence of demons, temporarily blinds them and causes them extreme discomfort)
    -A simple silver ring that prevents whoever wears it from having bad dreams and stops outside forces from delving or controlling their mind.
    -A pen that never runs out of ink and will write on any surface.
    -A pair of shoes that always fit perfectly and never get your feet wet.
    -A top hat, monocle and pocketwatch. When worn together, makes those around the wearer believe that they know them.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:44 No.15629912
    That should be the King in Rags and Tatters if we're doing it 40k style.

    Note the obvious xeno-tech aspects.

    My suggestion: A massive, two pronged spear with strange grooves down its sides, far too large for any normal being to wield. Indeed, it appears to be designed to be wielded by a Knight or other kind of small Titan. There are echoes of an utterly alien intelligence about it if probed by a psyker.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:44 No.15629913
    - A strange fabric mask that is white and silver. When the wind blows through the eye and mouth holes, it seems to whisper "El Santo".

    - A disk entitled "Gigli - Director's Cut Edition".

    - A head in a jar. The head appears to be that of a middle aged bald American man who constantly screams obscenities at a "Superman".
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:45 No.15629920
    >The Luggage
    I'll run, just run
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:46 No.15629925
    I did, but some strange internet denizens appear to have voted it down since then. It was at 6 and now is at 3.

    I don't understand some peoples' tastes.
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:49 No.15629949
    Several containers roughly the size of fuel barrels with what appears to be ancient human corpses inside. There are scratch marks on the inside of the viewpanels.

    Further down the barrel there are ancient earth letters/numbers that read as follows " 2-4-5- Trioxin"

    Beneath, similar symbols read " ...OF ARMY... EMERGENCY... 11 5.. 867"
    >> Anonymous 07/18/11(Mon)23:58 No.15630019
    - A strange stone head, when approached it dispenses archaic weapons, saying "The Gun is Good, The Penis is Evil"
    - A big red button that says "Do Not Press"

    GM's call on what happens when it is inevitably pressed
    >> Commissar Squid 07/19/11(Tue)00:05 No.15630060
    More non-reference stuff

    -Vial of Deamon Blood sealed within a polished stone Jar Wrapped in parchment strips covered with holy texts and sigils.
    -An Amythest Scythe
    - Naalwood Chest of Drawers
    - A very old copied partial section of a section of the Cartographia Universalis (The ancient text attempt to catalog the systems and planets of the galaxy).
    -Data-Arc (mini library) containing information about the shipments into and out of a planetary system (plot advancing tool)
    - An Old copy of the Divine Primer (the most basic text of indoctrination to the Machine God, and can be seen outside the Adeptus Mechanicus, though not commonly)
    -The machine parts required to build a Lexigrapher (An augmetic servitor that records words)
    -Case of Caba nuts
    -Data-slate attached umbilicaly to Tube containing dead Crixian Locust (These virulent insects virtually eliminate all foodstuffs, the dataslate contains info about there biology and vitals and warns the reader not to open the tube.)
    -Crate of Olicet Tea leaves
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)00:11 No.15630110
         File1311048690.jpg-(47 KB, 409x473, 1227997824741.jpg)
    47 KB

    /And a chainsword codpiece
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)00:13 No.15630121
    Seriously... what faggoty fags would vote down such a cromulent thread as this?
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)00:15 No.15630130
    almost 300 posts. I thought 250 was autosage. I guess not! Autosage is 300?
    >> Hank Pym !!A0/lWspso1i 07/19/11(Tue)00:18 No.15630156
         File1311049130.jpg-(2 KB, 95x126, 1280185685219s.jpg)
    2 KB
    That was an awesome thread.
    >> That Guy !CrwtTbFNxQ 07/19/11(Tue)00:21 No.15630190
    I love you

    An old book bound in skin with a hideous face on the cover. A small note is sticky-noted on. It says: For safe use, say "Kluedo Beretta Nicktoon" before opening.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)00:33 No.15630302
    A small sphere that is half red and half white.
    When thrown a small yellow xeno appears from the ball and repeatedly speaks an indecipherable word.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)00:34 No.15630313
         File1311050056.png-(313 KB, 596x596, Jesus Christ how HORRIFYING.png)
    313 KB
    Multiple Eldar soul stones
    Tau gun probes, ready for reprogramming
    A sword contained in a locked box covered in purity seals, it appears to be completely normal, but when anyone who is warp sensitive holds it, they make this face
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)00:52 No.15630473
    A vial labeled 'cure dianthroritis' that appears once they step into the room...
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)00:59 No.15630517
    >Sixty-eight metric tons of Surge, the discontinued soda.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)01:20 No.15630701
         File1311052851.png-(45 KB, 198x207, BFG9000awesome.png)
    45 KB
    Find this.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)01:30 No.15630767
    Hells yes.

    Sad it took this long for an Army of Darkness reference, actually.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)01:32 No.15630787
    >An extremely advanced archeotech weapons system in the shape of an Aquilla. When activated, it bonds to the user on a molecular level and allows them to generate weaponry such as monomolecular swords. It also appears to have some kind of etiquette training program as a subroutine.

    It also has a personal history subroutine, going back to the sevnth millenium.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)01:47 No.15630958
    A Core commander unit. Inactive, of course.

    Or just a bunch of Iron Men with the personalities of fratboys.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)01:50 No.15631000
    This would be really really fun to see used.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)01:50 No.15631002
    Inside they find a strange vial. It seems to be filled with something. Upon touching the vial it shatters with age releasing untold trillions of nanites to burrow their way through the ship stealing its resources and forming their own ship from it. They call themselves Von Nuemann and in a flash the ship disappears.

    Soon after reports of large pyramid-shaped ships crop up over the entirely of the sector with the strange things strip-mining whole continents worth of resources. Planets that resist are utterly extinguished of all life in a matter of hours. Ship that attempt to fight at stricken with a glowing yellow beams from smaller ships that detach themselves from the mothership then fade into nothingness.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)01:53 No.15631034
    01001000 01000101 01011001 00100000 01010111 01001000 01001111 00100000 01000110 01000101 01000101 01001100 01010011 00100000 01010101 01010000 00100000 01000110 01001111 01010010 00100000 01001011 01001001 01001100 01001100 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000001 01001100 01001100 00100000 01001000 01010101 01001101 01000001 01001110 01010011?

    01011001 01000101 01000001 01001000!

    01001111 01001000 00100000 01011001 01000101 01000001 01001000!

    01001111 01001000 00100000 01001000 01000101 01001100 01001100 00100000 01011001 01000101 01000001 01001000!

    4f 6b 2c 20 73 75 72 65

    01000100 01001111 01001110 01010100 00100000 01000010 01000101 00100000 01000001 00100000 01010011 01001101 01000001 01010010 01010100 01000001 01010011 01010011 00100000 01010100 01000101 01010010 01010010 01011001 00101100 00100000 01000110 01001111 01010010 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000001 01010100 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00100111 01010010 01000101 00100000 01010000 01000001 01011001 01001001 01001110 01000111 00100000 01000110 01001111 01010010 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 00100000 01000100 01010010 01001001 01001110 01001011 01010011 00100000 01010100 01001111 01001110 01001001 01000111 01001000 01010100
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)02:44 No.15631592
    Took me a translator to understand it, but I lol'd heartily.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)02:53 No.15631711
    OP, you should compile all these suggestions into one large list. Then give your players the ability to search the loot, each time saying the object they find and crossing it out of the list. If your players don't spend an entire session combing through the junk just to see what pops up next I'll eat my shorts.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)03:15 No.15631944

    A sealed envelope containing a joke written by Ernest Scribbler.

    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)03:33 No.15632115
    A pair of dentures made out of diamonds. If the party attempts to take them, they're attacked by a group of incredibly powerful old men.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)04:20 No.15632412
         File1311063606.jpg-(33 KB, 273x135, heresy_meter.jpg)
    33 KB
    I've cherry picked results from here and thrown them at my players for their perusal. Some of the totally innocuous results have set of the heresy alarm.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)05:33 No.15632792
    Did we make any Fallout references yet?
    >> Commissar Squid 07/19/11(Tue)05:59 No.15632932
    A few but give it a shot, you may do better.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)05:59 No.15632933
    101 jumpsuit, rocket ghouls in space, probably a few other things.

    A more important question is "has this thread been archived yet?"
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)06:11 No.15633001
    That'd be one of Shas'o R'myr's stories.
    Attempts are being made to archive it, but someone is downvoting it. FWIW i've made a list of all suggestions thus far for use on everybody's favourite, the d1000 chart of randomness.
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)07:05 No.15633312
         File1311073552.png-(9 KB, 459x377, stare_cartoon.png)
    9 KB
    Oh, it seems that it's already been archived.


    "Dark Heresy Loot List", though? Well, I suppose that mistakes can be-
    >/tg/ comes up with a strange and wondrous list of items for Dark Heresy DMs
    >Dark Heresy DMs
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)07:13 No.15633346
         File1311074012.jpg-(23 KB, 249x250, thumbsup.jpg)
    23 KB
    I'm glad someone else remembers

    Considering how much it got down-voted for no good reason, at least it has over 10 votes. But yes, it is disappointing that it doesn't say Rogue Trader.

    And so the post isn't wasted: a book claiming to contain the secrets to sell anything to anyone, written by pic related
    >> Anonymous 07/19/11(Tue)07:16 No.15633360
    A stasis pod occupied by a person in a seemingly primitive power armor, if released the person is revealed to be stunningly brilliant and having an ego so vast that it is on the verge of collapsing into a singularity.

    Shortly after being released other intelligent people aboard start to disappear, further investigation shows that all have names starting with an R.
    >> Commissar Squid 07/19/11(Tue)07:53 No.15633548
    More stuff for players to find
    -Canteen of lighter fluid
    -Coffer of fractured mirror pieces
    -Wax sealed jar of Void-Eels
    -Preserved body parts from Xeno species
    -Long Halberd like weapon who's head is formed in shape of a Hrud.
    -Chest of plated Ork teeth
    -Wood-slat and leather armor fitting a creature with at least 4 arms

    Delete Post [File Only]
    Style [Yotsuba | Yotsuba B | Futaba | Burichan]