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  • File : 1310315016.jpg-(84 KB, 427x640, Nicolas-Cage.jpg)
    84 KB Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:23 No.15534481  
    /tg/, I need help.

    I'm running a GURPS game, modern era, in a sort of toolbox world (minor levels of fringe magic and cult stuff, little bit of advanced tech) and I was just presented with these characters from my players;

    Character 1: A retired Army Ranger who spent some time in prison for beating a man to death in defense of his wife. He just met his daughter for the first time before joining up with the group. Excellent combatant, Southern as hell.

    Character 2: A police officer, estranged from his wife and daughter, with some background in mystic lore and ties to an old cult. He's also taken a deadly allergy to bee stings.

    Character 3: A treasure-hunting historian with a thirst for adventure and almost ungodly levels of crypto experience. It's to the point where the guy can look at three random objects and tell me what the hell they all are.

    Character 4: A master car thief, dragged along on the adventure due to his family being threatened and forced to investigate the mystic problems. He's a ridiculous driver with a history of arrests.

    Character 5: A heartlessly amoral arms dealer, with ridiculous access to firearms and near-inhuman charisma.

    So, long story short, every single one of my players wants to play as Nicholas Cage.

    Should I let this happen?
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:29 No.15534518
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    Yes, that is amazing.
    Not quite as cool as the D&D group that made The Who, but still hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:29 No.15534524
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    Do any of these guys have any, uh... weaknesses? Besides the bee stings and all.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:30 No.15534533
    Please tell more. I haven't heard this one before.

    >near-inhuman charisma.
    >Nicholas Cage.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:35 No.15534573
    Haven't got a screen cap of it, but the group contained mostly bards (possibly one wizard). One enchanted a set of wands to levitate in front of him and colour coded them for easy activation. Another brought along his war drums. Each one had a strange D&D-esque name appropriate to their race which just happened to sound like a member of The Who. They ended up holding a massive concert in the middle of town (with extensive use of colour spray, mimicry, and various sound altering magics, including floating wand-keyboardist) and trollfacing the GM.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:36 No.15534580
    Mostly background weaknesses, like enemies, arrest records, shit like that.

    That's the story so far. Every single player of mine showed up with Nicholas Cage as a character. It's a situation too stupid to have not been planned by them.

    I think I'll have them fight a worthy adversary. Probably a chemical weapons expert who was part of a military attack on a prison.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:39 No.15534605
    so Con Air, Wicker Man, National Treasure, Gone in 60 Seconds and Lord of War.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:40 No.15534613

    Have they caught on that you've caught on?

    Send 'em up against baby kidnappers, orchid thieves, and eventually Fu Manchu.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:49 No.15534692
    That is correct.

    I kept a straight face. They have no idea that I know that they're all Nicholas Cage.

    I will definitely make this the most Cage-tacular adventure ever. Every stupid plot twist from his films, up to and including having faces switched, prostitutes, angels, deadly snuff film rings, and con men.

    Might even end it in a gigantic Cage Match to the death; all of them trapped in a giant cage, and forced to fight for the amusement of one, final meta-Cage.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:52 No.15534716
    Definitely. Stick with the plan and keep us posted.

    I lol'd at "a situation too stupid to have not been planned by them"

    Ah, PCs.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:55 No.15534751
    Needs moar Vampire/10

    Otherwise perfect
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)12:56 No.15534759
         File1310317014.jpg-(1.07 MB, 1440x1080, 1310316919_bigdaddykickass_817(...).jpg)
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    Needs more Batman expy.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:02 No.15534809
    throw steven seagal at them if you are feeling like countertrolling, and have all his bullshit actually work like a charm (like it does in his wonderful fabulous movies).
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:06 No.15534843
    You MUST writefag your adventures afterwards OP.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:09 No.15534872
    It will happen. For fuck's sake, this is the basis for an entire GURPS book; GURPS Nicholas Cage.

    Now, I figure since it's a major plot point, every single one of them has to have estranged daughters. What do you think is better; having them be part of a terrorist organization intent on detonating a deadly chemical bomb in New York, or being part of an ancient alien conspiracy created by the Devil in an Aztec city hidden in Northern Canada?
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:13 No.15534914
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    Have them investigate the snuff films industry.

    Go on.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:23 No.15535016
    I guess you could go Cage-for-Cage
    >Character 1: A retired Army Ranger who spent some time in prison
    Maybe asked to do some consultation regarding a special agent he met during the ranger days. He's gone rogue for inexplicable reasons -- something about microfilm and history being a lie -- and is threatening a one-man chemical war against government targets.

    >Character 2: A police officer, estranged from his wife and daughter
    So estranges that an NPC "daughter" could show up halfway through, and spend half the campaign before they find out shes a con?

    >A treasure-hunting historian with a thirst for adventure and almost ungodly levels of crypto experience.
    Maybe a good place to drop in "angels among us" hints.

    Character 4: A master car thief, dragged along on the adventure due to his family
    Brother shows up. Thinks cult killed his girlfriend. Missing time. Worried something weird is going on. Strange dreams about rage-fueled rides, being engulfed in flames, dealing vengeance to those who've wronged him.

    >Character 5: A heartlessly amoral arms dealer, with ridiculous access to firearms and near-inhuman charisma.
    Black markets and secret circles tend to run together. Maybe this PC is tapped to work some of his underworld connections work a snuff film case. It's a bit beneath them, but he has a friend who has a lackey in the area who can help navigate the terrain.

    The final "fuck you, you're losing everything. Now get ready to fight for your lives" final installment should start with a visit from the IRS.

    >CAPTCHA: fortnsu Goodhue
    That's Goodspeed!
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:24 No.15535028
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    A snuff film gang is actually a front for pagan cultists performing strange rituals on a remote island which is being channelled money by an international auto-crime ring which runs an illegal race tournament which is being funded by the Illuminati to somehow aid in their search of a lost artefact that might be the North American version of the Crystal Skull which is of course actually inside the White House as part of an alien conspiracy.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:28 No.15535071

    I am combining these two ideas to form the ultimate meta-Cage plot. I'll also try and throw in a precog-Cage for the hell of it, and maybe make them fight a stunt rider on a motorcycle whose head is made of fire.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:29 No.15535083
    As a big fan of the entire Cagesploitation genre I heartily approve of this campaign. Your only course of action now is to make all of your NPCs also be Nicolas Cage. That shopkeeper? Nic Cage. The police? All Nic Cage. The Big Bad? Nic Cage. Their wives, daughters and girlfriends? Also Nic Cage. Don't let them realize it too quickly though, that would take all the fun out of counter-trolling. Don't emote much when you do voices for them, except on a few occasions where you should over-emote as much as humanly possible. Make almost every male character be depressed and middle-aged, and every female character be young, hot and inexplicably attracted to depressed middle aged men.

    Some NPC ideas for you:
    > a jaded, balding sorcerer and his young apprentice locked in a battle with evil sorcerers
    > a man who escaped from hell in order to get revenge on an evil cult
    > A demonic bounty hunter who rides a motorcycle
    > a young girl who may or may not be possessed by the devil and the one honest cop who is trying to get to the bottom of the case.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:29 No.15535093
    Make them meet a paramedic suffering from burnout for some reason.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:31 No.15535108
    Indeed. Counter with The Rock, Matchstick Men, City of Angels, Ghost Rider and 8mm.
    Also, I'd have them dogged by Steven Seagal that's presenting himself as either ex-Seal, ex-cop or ex-Cia with native American roots (bonus points if all three at one time). If he gets killed by them, put him in a come for a long time then bring him back when they least expect it. Also he should be working as a chef.
    Bonus bonus points if you make them stumble on Jackie Chan who actually doesn't want any trouble.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:36 No.15535163
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    >mon fromage quand I find out Nicholas Cage real name is Nicholas Kim Coppola
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:40 No.15535211
    This has got to be the most inexplicably awesome thing I've ever heard. Couldnt stop laughing for a solid minute. Just the fact that you've got five guys that could potentially go full psycho-cage at any moment is too good to be true.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:42 No.15535241
    Yeah, he supposedly didn't want everyone saying "he just got work because he's a Coppola." He took the name Nick Cage from Marvel comic book hero Luke Cage, the Power Man.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:43 No.15535252
    I think that, seeing as where this is going, I'll have to secretly make them alternate character sheets for Feng Shui.

    All of these ideas will work. Now, I just need to describe how they meet. I'm thinking in a motel, outside of Vegas, where they find a dead alcoholic underneath a prostitute who professes her love for him. Then, they have to investigate the deadly cult which may have killed the man by following a series of clues that are encoded into simple, everyday things and require an extensive knowledge of esoterica.

    Then, when they think they're doing all right, they need to steal a car and smuggle it across the border, full of illegal firearms so that they can shoot the monsters who have taken their daughters hostage.

    I might also include a bunny full of microfilm, cocaine, and souls.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:43 No.15535257
    Luke "Comic Book Writers Can't Into Ebonics" Cage?

    Luke "Jive Turkey Muthaflippin'" Cage?

    ...I like this.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:45 No.15535275
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    mysterious ranger dmpc
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:47 No.15535302
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    I hope all your PCs have a weakness to cake
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:57 No.15535392
    OP, this is the most beautiful campaign I have ever seen.

    Godspeed, good sir or madam.

    (You MUST writefag about this)
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)13:57 No.15535400
    dear god, this. A thousand times this.

    This thread made my day /tg/
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)14:04 No.15535467

    This is the campaign's main theme.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)16:19 No.15536806
    i hate the movie, but the bad guy needs to be john travolta with nicholas cages face
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)16:27 No.15536877
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    Make this guy the BBEG.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)16:31 No.15536904
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)16:31 No.15536912
    >>go to submit this thread to suptg, because its excellent and made my day
    >.find it already archived at the top of this list.

    This is what I love you /tg/

    Also bumping for 'Cagesploitation'
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)16:32 No.15536923

    Ha ha I was just going to post that exact same video.
    >> Espagnoll !/5aJFFL8RI 07/10/11(Sun)16:37 No.15536967
    "This...is...MY MECHA!!!!"
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)16:37 No.15536975
    I can only hope that, at some point, everyone in the party dresses up in bear costumes and starts punching women.

    Godspeed, and you'd better damn well writefag this.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)16:40 No.15537013
    What movie is that from?
    >> Cagesploitation !!DQphihd3nK3 07/10/11(Sun)16:42 No.15537031
    Well, I've adopted a trip for when I eventually run this game. I shall keep them in the dark and slowly demonstrate that yes, I know that they're all Nicholas Cage.

    I will provide bear suits and have them fight off a cult of crazed women terrorists who just kidnapped the president of a cake company. Food poisoning may be involved to trick them into things. They'll then receive aid in the form of a bow-wielding weatherman with severe personality issues, should they need any help.

    I will make this as Nicholas Cage as possible.

    Their enemies will become their doppelgangers, and in the end, they will have to find themselves. These characters will be adrift in an ocean of doubt, fear, and confusion, seeking to discover the essence of who they truly are.

    Additionally, I may incorporate elements of "The One". Partially because it was a terrible movie, and partially because I'd be amused at the existence of a nigh-omnipotent Omega-Cage.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)16:42 No.15537038

    Also: send bees after them, OP. But wait a while, don't wanna be too obvious.
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)16:43 No.15537040
    >> Espagnoll !/5aJFFL8RI 07/10/11(Sun)17:03 No.15537272
    Nicolas Cage as a BBEG.
    He will destroy the multiverse only for a piece of...
    >> Anonymous 07/10/11(Sun)17:04 No.15537291
    Please have the Omega-Cage be Nicholas Cage himself.

    Also, don't forget to have them think they're vampires at some point.

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