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  • File : 1306821717.jpg-(215 KB, 1024x681, KywZg.jpg)
    215 KB TG Quest Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:01 No.15110639  
    You wake up after a late night of browsing 4chan and drinking flat RC Cola.

    You see this.

    What do you do?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:02 No.15110649
    "What is this?"
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:03 No.15110651
    Ask for Bueno guy's autograph
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:03 No.15110653
         File1306821789.jpg-(57 KB, 461x568, faggottree-2.jpg)
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    I'd hit it of course. !
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:03 No.15110655
    Look away from the mirror in disgust.
    >> TG Quest Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:07 No.15110682
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    >"What is this?"

    As soon as you open your mouth, you are startled by the sound of your own voice, now a high-pitched squeak.

    You manage to get out a "what" before the creature grasping your thighs opens its maw and begins to speak. The smell is pungent: a raw mix of Funyuns and shame.

    "I suppose you are quite confused, young lady. But first, let us get acquainted: I am ogre, and you are...?"
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:08 No.15110690
    "I am /x/-tan"
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:10 No.15110699
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:12 No.15110715
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    You tell ogre you are "/x/-tan".

    ogre is now uncomfortably close.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:12 No.15110716
         File1306822361.png-(395 KB, 631x469, hhhhnnnnnnnnnnngggggg.png)
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    Come on, OP, it's not like it takes you so much time.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:13 No.15110720
    murder mode activate
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:13 No.15110722
    >See thread
    >Realize this is a real person with real feelings
    >Feel like shit because /tg/ is a cruel bastard

    Thanks /tg/... real proud to be a part of this board...
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:14 No.15110730
    "Omigodomigod! are you a real ogre? A real one?"
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:14 No.15110733
    >Realize this is a real person with real feelings
    So? It's never stopped us before. Sorry we hold standards.

    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:15 No.15110737
    >young lady

    wonder vigorously as to why I am now female and resign to the fact that I might have to put up with lots of rape in the following days.

    unless I'm a convincing trap who's convinced mr. ogre that I'm female. In that case, other options will have to be taken.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:16 No.15110750
    I can just imagine OP pic wheezing, "Hey DM... can I make my PC a loli catgirl?"
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:16 No.15110752
    Roll for initiative.
    I can't believe this hasn't been said yet.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:17 No.15110755
    It's too late, /tg/ you are now the sweet, underwear-clad, rainbow-socked paranoid little girl.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:18 No.15110763
    No, /tg/, YOU are the neckbeard ogres

    >and then the PC was /x/-tan.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:19 No.15110779
         File1306822751.jpg-(9 KB, 400x200, Concubine.jpg)
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    pic related, I have that model and I've finally decided how I'm going to paint it.

    It shall be /x/-tan, my lovable psyker.
    >> TG Quest fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)02:19 No.15110785
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    >ask about "feelings"

    ogre laughs in contempt. He tells you he has abandoned all feelings for the pleasures of the flesh...but that is a long story. He yawns, indicating his obvious boredom with your query.

    >ask about being a real ogre

    ogre, spelt withe a lower-cased "o", claims to have eaten the flesh of children before. If that doesn't make him an ogre, he wants to know what would.

    Also, you realize you look like this girl.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)02:20 No.15110793
    aww fuck it, i'll get my tablet

    i'm unemployed ayway
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:21 No.15110796
    I get raped. I enjoy it because I am a pervert.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:21 No.15110803
    well it looks like the ogre won't be raping my delicious paranoid vagina since he isn't interested.

    but he's not going to eat me is he? I hope he doesn't know that little girls taste nice
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:21 No.15110806
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    Hug him and say "I knew it! I knew that ogres did real!"

    better befriend him, right? I'm sure that deep down, he still has a ronery heart.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:22 No.15110812
    I cast magic missile at the darkness that is the ogre's soulless eyes
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:23 No.15110817
    better put on your tinfoil panties, right?
    you, draw this.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:25 No.15110829
    >tinfoil parties

    huehuehuehue 7/10
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:31 No.15110871
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:34 No.15110894
    >"I knew it! I knew that ogres did real!"
    >did real

    I know /x/-tan is a bit damaged and all but seriously?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:37 No.15110913
    silly fa/tg/uy, doesn't know about how ghosts don't real.
    It's something of a meme on /x/. It follows the theme of being deliberately wrong in a specific way, often to mock those that are wrong in similar ways but not on purpose. This is one of the oldest kinds of internet humour.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:37 No.15110917
         File1306823865.jpg-(127 KB, 1600x1500, trollargh.jpg)
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    "trolls don't real"
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:39 No.15110931

    oh goddamit
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:39 No.15110935
         File1306823986.jpg-(307 KB, 1300x1900, :x:eno.jpg)
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    "huuuh, /tg/, do I really have to wear these? That looks weird on me..."
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:41 No.15110954
         File1306824115.jpg-(6 KB, 184x170, 1299954368379.jpg)
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    yes you do

    yes you do sugar apples
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:43 No.15110964
         File1306824188.png-(2.03 MB, 1998x867, CeremonialFlintKnife-Djer.png)
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    Do we have a ritual blade or something similar?
    As believers in the paranormal, we should have something like that.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:43 No.15110971
    Xeno "sugar apples" O'Failcron.
    I'm totally keeping this.

    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:49 No.15111007
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    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)02:49 No.15111011
         File1306824588.gif-(4 KB, 460x340, 1.gif)
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    It is you.

    Assign yourself some stats before ogre gets frisky.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:51 No.15111025
    Stats for which system?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:52 No.15111035
    I do believe we also need a class
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)02:53 No.15111040
         File1306824797.gif-(4 KB, 460x340, 2.gif)
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    ogre leers at you. Better hurry.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:54 No.15111050
    minmax ho!

    minimal stats everywhere except agility and magic gubbins.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:55 No.15111051
    uh, can we roll barbarian?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:56 No.15111073
    Oh, that's easy then... Arcane swordsage.

    stat priority:
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)02:57 No.15111077
    Ok... So DH.

    Bf 25
    Ws 20
    Str 22
    T 25
    Int 35
    Per 34
    WP 30
    Fel 27

    30 is defined as human average.
    20 is crap.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)03:01 No.15111112
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    You hand him your stat sheet. He glares with the contempt of a seasoned VtM GM.

    Don't know what these are, so ogre will interpret for you.


    >Muscularity - 22
    >Agility - 18
    >Testosterone - 25
    >Charisma - 6

    >Magic Gubbins
    >Arcane Swordsagery
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:03 No.15111121
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    -4 str /x/-tan? dammit!
    yeah, hug him anyway.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:05 No.15111133
    T is for Toughness...

    Attempt to slash his throat.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)03:06 No.15111149
         File1306825608.gif-(5 KB, 460x340, 4.gif)
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    Unfortunately, your
    >magic gubbins
    weigh you down and lower your agility score to another arbitrary number.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:07 No.15111152
    no, ask to see his char sheet first.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:09 No.15111169
    oh, then just hug him with your magic gubbinz instead of just your arms.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)03:11 No.15111185
         File1306825872.gif-(4 KB, 460x340, 5.gif)
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    You ask to see ogre's character sheet, thinking about slashing his fat throat.

    He tells you he has no character sheet, and he quickly compares himself to the Lady of Sigil.

    He laughs at your foolishness.

    You feel like a fool.

    He laughs more.

    >what do?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:12 No.15111189
    Laugh with him and hug him, dammit.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:16 No.15111221
    Do we have any any armaments or anything at all? Like, do we even possess an inventory?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:16 No.15111223
    what powers do her magic gubbinz have?
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)03:17 No.15111233
         File1306826259.gif-(4 KB, 460x340, 6.gif)
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    You attempt to laugh with him but he silences you.

    "Listen here....Stan was it? Yes. We all go through such changes as we enter the land of the Golden Star. For instance, I became an ogre. And you are...well."

    >What ask?
    >> Alpharius 05/31/11(Tue)03:19 No.15111246
         File1306826378.jpg-(45 KB, 532x478, first trollface.jpg)
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    >A Sergal.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:20 No.15111252
    a faiiiiiry
    >> /co/smic storytimer !li4WA1Y6/6 05/31/11(Tue)03:21 No.15111259

    Your bane
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:22 No.15111264
    "Will you force yourself upon me? Or are you straight?"

    Make him think about it.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)03:24 No.15111279
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    You check your inventory.

    Error 404.

    Actually, you seem to be missing something.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:25 No.15111286

    ...I'm fine with this.
    Either that, or a true Fae. Just to fuck around.

    ...or if we want to fuck around with him, let's pull out "Great wyrm Gold Dragon".
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:26 No.15111290
    oh shit my pen is missing? damn, it was pretty fun to play with too.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:26 No.15111295
    But how can she pee if she's got no ding-dong?

    right, fairy.

    also, what are her magic titty powers?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:26 No.15111296
    I wonder why this shit has made its way onto /tg/

    Yes report window captcha "justice! trifilau"
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:27 No.15111301
    Why am I wearing capris?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:27 No.15111302
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:28 No.15111307
    you're not, you're wearing these:
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)03:34 No.15111336
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    You tell him you are a fairy.

    "Well if you weren't one before you got here..."

    >"Will you force yourself upon me? Or are you straight?"

    He responds that he is an ogresexual.


    For some raisin, you are no longer wearing capris.

    So, you are now this:

    Fairy Barbarian
    >Magic Gubbins
    >Useless stats
    >nothing in inventory

    >WAT DOE?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:34 No.15111341
    use your muscularity to punch him in the face.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:35 No.15111347
    hug him and go on ADVENTURE!
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:37 No.15111362
    chuck those stick on the floor at the ogre
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:37 No.15111369
    get a wand

    a fairy without a wand is like an ogre without it's club
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:39 No.15111379
    But you're also a barbarian, so you can use a club as your wand.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:40 No.15111389
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    I like where this is going.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)03:40 No.15111390
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    Upon closer inspection, you discover they are crudely drawn lines on the concrete floor.

    You discover:
    >pubic hair
    >nondescript bug
    >magic marker [?/? charges remaining]
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:40 No.15111395
    My first thought to that picture was "Are you going to eat me?"
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:40 No.15111398
    club-wands would be harder to find, I think
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:41 No.15111400
    I see.
    So we grab his "club" and cast a fireball to his face.
    >> PuzzlesMcFuzzles 05/31/11(Tue)03:41 No.15111402
    >RC Cola

    I find and kill whoever forced me to drink that putrid swill.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:42 No.15111408
    get magic marker, draw yourself a penis
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:43 No.15111413
    Draw a wand. See if it becomes real through the power of belief.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:43 No.15111415
    or rather dat ass.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:43 No.15111417
    eat the bug

    fairies do that, I think.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:43 No.15111421
    Wield pen as a wand.
    Pun pubic hair back in panties.
    throw bug at the ogre.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:45 No.15111427
    throw pubic hair,
    put pen in panties,
    wield the bug

    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:46 No.15111441
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    nonsense, bugs are fairies' friends.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)03:51 No.15111463
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    You draw a penis...ahh shit.

    All those wasted art classes. The shitty magic marker manifests the crude penis as a unicorn horn.

    [?/? charges remaining]
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:53 No.15111474
    Alright. Don't panic.
    Draw a sword onto the wall.#
    That should be easier.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:53 No.15111478
    he's got too much grease, you can't stab him efficiently.

    Let him mount you and go to ADVENTURE!
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:53 No.15111486
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:54 No.15111488

    Great now I'm Soraka, I get to be useless...

    ...WAIT cast 'starcall' lower his magic resist!
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)03:54 No.15111489
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    You throw the bug at ogre.

    He catches it in his maw and feasts.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:56 No.15111513
    opting for the sword option
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:57 No.15111521
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    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:59 No.15111529
    wed just end up getting sucked into his massive anus
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)03:59 No.15111535
    Still an adventure!

    Come on now, we all knew we were using the FATAL ruleset as soon as we saw OP.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:00 No.15111538

    not if we draw a saddle.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)04:01 No.15111545
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    He would surely crush thee!

    Stop trying to hurt poor ogre. ;_;

    You do thusly!

    A...sword falls out of the wall.

    It's made of wood. Shitty wood.

    But hot damn! If you look at it the right way, it's sorta frightening.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:02 No.15111549
    providing adventure music

    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:04 No.15111565
    program doesn't change, this can't do shit against him, we have to ally our forces and go kill goblins and loot epic +4Ch tinfoil panties
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:09 No.15111608
    what if she's got to pee?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:12 No.15111623
    Quickly, I look to acquire a pair of pants, and a clever blouse. Search the room!
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:14 No.15111643
    No, it's /x/-tan. /x/-tan cannot wear anything over her panties, or it disintegrate.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)04:15 No.15111647
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    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:17 No.15111657

    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:18 No.15111666
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:19 No.15111671

    ah, I still say we try, if not pants then at least some shoes, and something for orge as well!
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:20 No.15111681


    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:21 No.15111687
    just a friendly reminder... Killing unsually happens before looting, not afterwards ...
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:21 No.15111688

    Luck favors the prepared,
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:22 No.15111700
    so let's go for impractical armor.
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)04:23 No.15111703
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    Unfortunately, neither of you has any shoes available.

    You are eager for blood, but first you must choose a route.

    Ogre describes the surroundings to you.

    To the west lies the scarrryyyyy ocean
    To the north lie the scarrrrryyyy mountains with scary faces
    To the east lies the not-so-scary mushroom forest
    To the south lies the Tenochticlan Desert, land of the marauders
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:24 No.15111709

    Armor? I just don't want to get cold, or end up with glass in my feet!
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:24 No.15111713
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:26 No.15111732

    yes, to the forest, villainy abounds.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:27 No.15111737
    and tentacled fungus monsters
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:30 No.15111752


    A yeast infestation you say!

    ...I apologies.
    >> TG Quest fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)04:39 No.15111803
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    To the forest it is! And what an adventure you will have.

    The mushroom forest, land of the myconid necromancers, realm of the mind spores. You tingle with excitement. ogre snores in his saddle.

    But that's all for tonight kids! Tune in tomorrow at 1AM EST for the next exciting episode of DRAGONBALL Z.

    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:42 No.15111815
    Imma archive this shit
    >> fag-pie !7RV9YIDUYA 05/31/11(Tue)04:45 No.15111825
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    One last thing.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:47 No.15111834
    dem gubbinz
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:52 No.15111861
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    I know how this ends. And you know what I think? I think we need to build a space helicopter.
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)04:54 No.15111878

    how the fuck did i fail to see that?
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)10:38 No.15113242
         File1306852729.jpg-(8 KB, 250x247, pokeball-pokemon.jpg)
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    Throw My Poke'ball, I Just Caught A wild Snorlax
    >> Anonymous 05/31/11(Tue)11:31 No.15113636
    /tg/, I fucking love you.

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