Are you a talented programmer local to New York, NY – Palo Alto, CA – or Richmond, VA?
If so, feel free to e-mail a resumé to email@example.com along with a list of reasons why you don't suck.
Hell, if you work in advertising/marketing/PR/etc. or something like that, shoot me an e-mail as well. Note: This is just a feeler. Don't expect a response, seriously. Also if you stink at programming, only know Java, or are remotely new to it ("HURR I'M IN CS101!"), please don't waste my time. Oh, and please don't attempt any sort of humor at all. Thanks!