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  • File : 1304032880.gif-(150 KB, 658x500, Tarrasque.gif)
    150 KB Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:21 No.14745454  
    A Tarrasque appears on Holy Terra. What will happen?
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:22 No.14745467
    The Emperor gets a new guard dog
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:23 No.14745481
         File1304033021.jpg-(82 KB, 600x790, titan4.jpg)
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    An Imperator Titan steps on it by accident.
    Pic unrelated, it is an itty bitty Warlord Titan.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:23 No.14745482
    The Emperor has finally passed into the warp and his soul now takes residence inside the Tarrasque. Behold, the Star Child.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:25 No.14745501
    I just got an erection.
    >> Espagnoll !/5aJFFL8RI 04/28/11(Thu)19:27 No.14745519
    The Emperorasque has born!
    A new Crusade era has begun!
    He will devour the Great devourer in the name of humankind!
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:30 No.14745540
    I just noticed the people on the edges of that picture. It's not exactly that big, a single good shot from a lascannon should be able to take it down.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:31 No.14745550

    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:35 No.14745583
    We need a drawfag in here now!
    We must have a Tarrasque in the Emperor's armor with halo.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:39 No.14745611

    I agree

    This thread must be archived and have its own page on 1d4chan
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:40 No.14745622
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:40 No.14745626
    rolled 2 = 2

    you do realize that due to perspective the people look bigger in comparison to the titan than they actually are right?

    if they were closer to the titan they would look like ants in comparison
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:41 No.14745630
         File1304034061.jpg-(264 KB, 887x734, 1287381956489.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:43 No.14745651

    think he/she's talking about the tarrasque, not the warlord titan
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:43 No.14745655
    He is talking about OP's pic.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:43 No.14745658
    I think he was talking about the Tarrasque...
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:48 No.14745710
         File1304034501.jpg-(662 KB, 1014x2405, The_God_Emperor.jpg)
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    I shall name him Fluffy, and he shall be my finest pet.

    - God-Emperor of Mankind
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:49 No.14745723

    that makes sense
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:49 No.14745732
    They should find a way to attach the golden throne to it's back so the Emperor can ride it into battle.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:52 No.14745754
    The Golden Throne is larger than a Tarrasque by a good order of magnitude or two.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:53 No.14745764
    To feed the Emprahasque.
    Suddenly 10k psykers a day doesnt seem so unreasonable...
    On the other hand.....

    Ave Imperator mother fuckers.
    Chaos gods would shit themselves.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:55 No.14745779
    >Send Emprahasque into Eye of Terror
    >Let the good times roll
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:57 No.14745800

    The God Emperor Tarrasque. With the powers of the most powerful psyker in existence.
    With Creed.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)19:59 No.14745822
    Now imagine infiltrating the Webway with THAT!
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:00 No.14745834
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:01 No.14745840
    chances are it would appear in some underhive in one of the many that sprawl across ancient terra. It would just turn into another nameless monster preying on vermin and some of the billions of underhive scum. The arbites might do something about it eventually if it demolishes one of their precinct houses- in which case it would go down. Fast
    aparrently Terra has a population of 100 billion. Possibly more
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:01 No.14745850
         File1304035316.jpg-(75 KB, 291x364, Tusken Raider.jpg)
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    Emprahasque with Tusken bodyguards.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:02 No.14745852
    It's basically Old One Eye, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:03 No.14745862

    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:03 No.14745864
    Drawfag reporting in. So fucking on this/ Be back in a minute.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:03 No.14745866
    Greenmarine, Greenmarine, draw me pic...

    We shall summon him with our chanting!
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:04 No.14745876

    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:04 No.14745878
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:04 No.14745879
    I seriously hope you're joking.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:05 No.14745889

    Tusken Custodes....
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:06 No.14745899
    Custodes spears = Gaffi sticks
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:09 No.14745917

    It would explain why they wear masks as well.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:10 No.14745922
    Custodes = Tusken

    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:11 No.14745927
    Just remember: If you are not dealing with a literal magical artifact, the Tarrasque will probably shrug off whatever you just hit it with. If you hit it with any sort of beam, it has a 30% chance of bouncing off the Tarrasque's carapace. Fire, poison and disease cannot hurt it. It has a fairly high chance to just straight up ignore magical and psychic powers. And finally:

    It cannot be killed by any weapon. It takes a literal act of god to kill it, and even then you have to wound it enough that the wounds could kill it if it were mortal.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:13 No.14745938
    Right now I'm running a DUNGEONS THE DRAGONING campaign. I'm sooo going to make Emperorasque into the new big bad.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:14 No.14745944

    And said Emprah now has his psyker strength AND now the physical capabilities.
    He could probably run into battle using a warhound titan cannon...
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:15 No.14745953
    Truly, a worthy steed for the Emprah.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:15 No.14745955
    drawfag here... just got to add the colors
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:16 No.14745958
    So if a Tarrasque had the powers of a god, and only a god could kill him. Dear Armok!
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:16 No.14745964
    Feed it to the emprah.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:17 No.14745967

    >>New Marines get a new geneseed with Tarrasque traits.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:18 No.14745981
    I read somewhere its population was 100 trillion, but I figured it was a typo. Thats a ridiculously silly number even for 40k
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:18 No.14745982
    I want one to show up in Fort Dorftress, so much.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:19 No.14745990
         File1304036360.jpg-(38 KB, 640x352, 1303055163528.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:19 No.14745996
    Tzeentch protect us...
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:20 No.14746007
    Imagine Hong Kong or Manhattan population density, all over the world, and also under it.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:21 No.14746015

    >>A Great Tarrasque has come! It is towering and one of a kind. Beware it's gaping maw and invincibility. It is covered with Adamantine and menaces with spikes of Adamantine and bits of Armok's blood.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:23 No.14746037
         File1304036636.jpg-(442 KB, 1240x1754, Emprasque.jpg)
    442 KB
    here we go. Quick sketch, but hey....
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:24 No.14746047
    What else should I add?
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:25 No.14746050
    It's wonderful
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:25 No.14746056
    Some sort of burning sword
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:26 No.14746060
    The current average is 50 people per km². Bangladesh is 1,141.84 people per km², a difference of 22 times.

    Just the whole of the current Earths land surface at Bangladeshi density would be 154,000,000,000. Also take into account the hives are substantially taller, and also deeper than current technology allows, farm land isn't an issue, and presumably you could have arcologies at sea too, which would multiply this figure again. It's not inconceivable you could pack a trillion people on Earth. The conditions would be horrific but it would be doable.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:26 No.14746062

    Oh lawdy.
    Thanks drawfag!
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:26 No.14746065
    Even if you could physically fit that many people on the planet, it would be a logistical nightmare to keep even a fraction of them alive- it would need a ridiculous amount of food, water and even oxygen imported- it couldn't possibly work.

    (I'm willing to suspend belief for most hive worlds, but a hundred TRILLION?)
    I reckon Terras population would be a few hundred billion but not much more than half a trillion...
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:26 No.14746069

    The Sand People Custodes screaming for the EMPHRUHRUHURHUUUUUUURHUUUUUUR!!!
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:27 No.14746071

    Needs claw and sword weapons.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:27 No.14746073

    >>Would be horrific

    They already are on Terra.
    >> That Storm Wardens Fanboy 04/28/11(Thu)20:29 No.14746089
    The Emperahsque needs both of his greatest tacticians riding on his shoulder...the Imperium of Mankind cannot fall with the Emperahsque, Malcador and Creed roaming about the galaxy.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:31 No.14746109
    >logistical nightmare
    Well, say every human needs 2.5k calories to live. Then, every day, Terra needs to import 3.45162575 × 10-9 m2 kg s-2 K-1 worth of food, of enough variety to avoid disease, malnutrition, and growth issues.

    Are there any hard figures on the storage capacity of a transport? How many would we need every single day? How many people would die if just one got lost in the warp?

    I agree though, it's a fucking nightmare to organise that.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:31 No.14746110
         File1304037084.jpg-(1.14 MB, 2904x1687, Starmap.jpg)
    1.14 MB
    I wonder where those supplies would come from...
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:33 No.14746124
    It should be like a centaur with a huge, gold plated carapace.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:33 No.14746127
         File1304037212.jpg-(832 KB, 1240x1754, Emprasque.jpg)
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    Fuck yueah! New and Improved.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:35 No.14746142
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:35 No.14746148
    Now add Horasque and the slain Sanguinasque for extreme epic!
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:37 No.14746166
    Hm...methinks it should be more like the original Tarrasque body only with the Emperor's armour and weapons in hand.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:38 No.14746173
    *1.04600 × 1018 joules worth of food even

    Our sun outputs 386 billion billion megaWatts worth of energy. This is many times what even 100 trillion humans would need. If the Imperium had a way of harvesting even a fraction of this energy they'd be set. Perhaps a section of a dyson sphere?

    Be a cool place to set a campaign if nothing else
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:40 No.14746189
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:40 No.14746197
         File1304037655.png-(18 KB, 252x297, No dude, I REALLY like it.png)
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    >> That Storm Wardens Fanboy 04/28/11(Thu)20:42 No.14746218
    Question: Should the Emperahsque be roughly the size of dat Deffboss weez created what being the size of a planet?
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:45 No.14746246
         File1304037914.jpg-(877 KB, 1240x1754, Emprasque.jpg)
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    So I am commanded, so shall it be done.
    TACTICAL GENIUS now added on the side...
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:46 No.14746259
    This demands some writefaggin' to be done.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:47 No.14746264
    Then there's 10 litres of water each day (Taking into account industrial needs too- normal people probably wont get enough food or water anyway) so that's 1*10^12 cubic meters of water per day (if its coming as ice it would have to be substantially more).
    A grand conveyor is about 8km long I think, probably 2 high and wide so thats a volume of about 3.2*10^10, so you'd need 32 grand conveyors carrying water at 4 degrees C every day.
    Those things are really rare so it would be hard to do.
    Although with water and biomass recycling food and water issues can be mitigated somewhat unless population is increasing. Still need oxygen brought in and probably Massive amounts of chemicals to scrub CO2 and whatever else is in the hives' atmosphere to keep it relitavely breathable.
    I'm assuming the last plant on Terra died thousands of years before 40k.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:47 No.14746265
         File1304038049.png-(51 KB, 320x320, Awesome Face.png)
    51 KB
    >this thread
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:48 No.14746287


    manly tears have been shed. in joy
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:50 No.14746304
    guys, this thread must be archived!
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:51 No.14746306
    I love it when people analyse really dumb shit hacks pulled out of their asses and make it sound reasonable with SCIENCE!

    I love you all, not being ironic or anything. You please my nerd boner.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:51 No.14746313
    I just posted this thread link on the 1d4chan discussion page. Any chance that it'll have its own page?
    >> That Storm Wardens Fanboy 04/28/11(Thu)20:52 No.14746319
    Just so long as ther isnt any of that asshole Grandmaster from the Gayknights with triple tactical genius. When the Emperahsque comes they will be disbanded because no one will ever turn heretic again and no demon will ever leave the warp except the Sanguinor and any Living Saints.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:53 No.14746329
    I'm a biologist specialising in ecology so this is kinda overlapping with my field of expertise- I do silly science like this for giggles.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:55 No.14746351
         File1304038542.jpg-(503 KB, 1280x720, 1303357850492.jpg)
    503 KB

    Biologyfag fistbump. My expertise is more with evolution and cell biology though.

    Also, archived for great justice: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14745454/
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:56 No.14746356
    >scroll to bottom

    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:57 No.14746363
    Drawfag Pride achieved/
    Working on adding dead Ward Knights to the picture now...
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)20:57 No.14746366
    I shall produce some writefaggotry. Not much, though, three hundred words or so.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)20:58 No.14746375
    Double biologist brofist, evolutionary biologist here.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)20:59 No.14746383
    >does ecology
    >thinks he is anything more than a trumped up geographer
    oh you
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:03 No.14746421
         File1304039005.jpg-(108 KB, 552x473, Forever Alone Wilson.jpg)
    108 KB
    East Asian Politics and Economics up in this.

    No one? Thought so.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:06 No.14746460
    Ok, let's get this back on track.

    What would be the first thing our Emperorasque would go out and do after being reborn?
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:07 No.14746473
         File1304039233.jpg-(934 KB, 1240x1754, Emprasque.jpg)
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    boom. small change, but worth it
    A bit Choasy, but hey, its the damn emperasque
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:08 No.14746483

    Probably dismantle the eye of terror.
    OR go after the Tyranids.
    Eating Tyranids in battle...
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:08 No.14746487
    Eat the High Lords.

    >gnsear protein
    Sure, capture, that might be one aspect to it.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:08 No.14746491
    put the Ultramarines back in place, eat Matt Ward, reform the Grey Knights and eat the Eye of Terror
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:09 No.14746502
    Go into the warp and take a dump on the front lawn of all the Chaos God's front lawns.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:10 No.14746507
    Well mine ties in with adaptation to conditions, evolution, energy flow through ecosystems etc.
    It touches on pretty much every part of biology.

    Just like geographers not only map things but also do a whole load of other shit- but it tends to be focused more around people's interactions with the environment.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:10 No.14746509
    Give dis man a cookie.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:12 No.14746536
    Love the new addition
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:17 No.14746586
         File1304039831.jpg-(39 KB, 393x344, 1292788562873.jpg)
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    >take a dump on the front lawn of all the Chaos God's front lawns
    >front lawn of all the Chaos God's front lawns
    >front lawn
    >front lawns
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:18 No.14746606
    Eat a Black Crusade.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:19 No.14746627
    Well, the Chaos Gods are all roommates, and their one front lawn is sapient and owns several properties.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:21 No.14746642
    Sorry, I've been drinking Guinness all night, slightly drunk.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:21 No.14746650
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:28 No.14746754
         File1304040499.jpg-(88 KB, 928x794, Inquisitor_Rex_by_Jaekyu.jpg)
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    Is there any relation between this guy and Inquisitor Rex?
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:29 No.14746770
         File1304040558.jpg-(47 KB, 500x375, 1259092785889_f.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:33 No.14746829
    Bumping for epic.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:37 No.14746873
         File1304041051.jpg-(1.21 MB, 1205x1478, GODSLAYER_FUCK_TITAN_by_Sheaso(...).jpg)
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    This is awesome.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)21:47 No.14746980
    The Emprasque

    This is the final log of Captain-General Imorta of the Adeptus Custodes. I have failed, and deserve this end.
    Only this morning, a beast of such horrifying size and power that I can not in confidence say it was not a Warp-Watcher appeared in the Hall of the Golden Throne. From whence it came, I can but guess that the long-ruined Webway portal in the base of what used to be the Golden Throne must have finally given out completely. The monstrosity moved at a speed I would not credited to any being of secular origins.
    I was returning from a meeting of the Senate of the High Lords when I entered the Hall, and Emperor forgive me, but at the sight of the beast I could but scream for the Titans which flanked the Golden Gates to attack, despite the fact that they were not cleared to do so. Bless them, they leapt at my order. The beast bounded forward, across the mammoth hall, and leaped at the Emperor atop his throne. I, and the Companions, sprinted forth, with the blasts of the Titans impacting – to no use! – against the daemon’s flank. As the beast reached one massive claw forward to swipe at His divine self, there was a brilliant, purple flash of light from its eyes. For a moment, I dared hope that the monstrosity had been slain by the Emperor’s Divine power, but I saw it was not to be. The monster vanished, taking the Emperor with it.
    What have I permitted? What have I allowed? I can never be forgiven as long as I live. I can seek only absolution in death.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:52 No.14747036
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    I have tasted paradise.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:53 No.14747046
    Someone put this stuff up at the 1d4chan wiki
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)21:59 No.14747113
         File1304042364.png-(144 KB, 838x375, 1303408402008.png)
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    this thread is magnificent
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)22:01 No.14747150
    Not done!

    From the personal journals of Astrofacilitrix Adepta Argyle of the Imperial Navy Falchion Frigate Iron Will

    What the FUCK?
    I was in the middle of a delicate conversation with the Fleet Master Telepath when a psychic wave enveloped the entire convoy. Immersed in the warp as we are, I can only bless the Navigator that we did not immediately fly into a sun or each other. All I or any other psychic in the fleet can do is remember a presence, as brilliant and awe-inspiring as the Astronomican itself, roaring past us in the immaterium with horrifying speed and power, reminding me quite a bit of the summoning of an Eldar Shard of Khaine on a world I was orbiting at the time.

    I could hear a most horrifying call in the warp, rageful and joyous and anticipatory: “IT’S ABOUT BLOODY TIME!” as loud as if six thousand men were screaming it in my ear. We were heading to Cadia at the time, perhaps this…thing will be there? I rather hope not.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)22:02 No.14747170
    More writefaggotry.

    Abbadon was having a pretty nice day. The sun was obscured by the smoke of burning loyalist flesh, the grass was dying faster than the pathetic Imperial Guard, and most importantly, his newest Crusade was about to succeed. The dawn of a new age, an age of his figure replacing the statues of the Emperor, an age in which he would attain godhood and join his masters, was ushering forth. Not even Creed could stop him now.

    He had surrounded himself in a wall of Titans, ready and equipped to deal with any surprise. Khorne and Nurgle had set aside their differences personally blessed this machines, and they were now avatars of war and neigh indestructible. Abbadon was praying that Creed would dare attempt and use his genius today. It would give him a perfect opportunity to crush the disgusting corpse-worshipper.
    When the thunderous sound of giant feet reached his ears, abbadon smiled, gave off a bloothirsty, almost orgasmic sigh and prepared to blow Creed's tactically inserted titan to bits.

    The last thing Abbadon saw was the glorious mouth of the Emprasque, the last thing he heard was the sound of his titans being splintered by teeth the size Imperators. The last words on his lips were "WHAT THE FUCK?"

    The legendary Imperial commander, watching the destruction of the Holy Emprasque from outside the planet's orbit smiled, took a puff of his cigar, and, too keep in tradition, played his favorite sound recording of Abbadon's: "CREEEEEEEED!"
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)22:19 No.14747382

    epic, keep going
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)22:25 No.14747459
    Transcript of the holopict recording of the Daily Strategy Meeting, Kasr Prime, Cadia, Lord Castellan Creed presiding
    Activus Personae:
    Lord Castellan Ursarkar E. Creed, Supreme Commander Munitorum, Cadia
    Harald Deathwolf, Wolf Lord, Space Wolves
    Lord Commissar Blenkach, senior Commissarial representative to the Cadian Joint Task Force
    Lord Admiral Clenden, Supreme Commander Cadian Naval Task Group
    Mardeus, Cadia Master telepath, Adepta Astra Telepathica
    Jarran Kell, Colour Sergeant, Kasr Force

    *Castellan Creed summons order. Various sounds come in through the open window to the parade ground, [dogs, firing rounds, wake-up drill noises, engines]*
    Creed: Gentlemen, I’m afraid we must abandon our usual pleasantries. Something unexpected has occurred. I need to fill you all in as rapidly as possible.
    Deathwolf: Did Abbadon wake up cranky, or is it something genuinely unusual?
    *Several seconds pause, Sergeant Kell suppresses laughter*
    Creed: We – by which I mean Mardeus – have detected a Warp emanation approaching the Cadian gate. It will arrive within the hour. It’s not a ship, we can tell, but it does seem to be moving faster directly for the planet. Its point of origin is Terra.
    Harald: Then what’s the problem? *Clenden looks astonished*
    *Creed sighs angrily*
    Creed: The problem, Astartes, is that we have absolutely no idea what it’s doing. We don’t even know what it is.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)22:37 No.14747620
    >this thread

    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)22:37 No.14747624
    Clenden: Are there any Warp Storms between here and Terra, Sieur Mardeus?
    Mardeus: No. The Eye does not extend beyond us, and the Lady Naviagatris of your own fleet assures me that there are no distorting daemon worlds between us and Holy Terra.
    Clenden: Then we should account for the possibility that whatever it is, it may not be a servant of the Great Enemy. *Blenkach starts*
    Blenkach: And by what stretch of the imagination do you make that assumption? A warp entity this close to the Eye isn’t going to be safe to approach, and I don’t care if it’s Cypher himself, nothing that the Warp spits out lacks an agenda.
    Clenden: I said nothing about its trustworthiness, Lord Commissar. All I said was that it may not serve the Dark Gods.
    Creed: Whatever it is, its approach puts it on the surface in *checks watch* five minutes. *table dissolves into incoherent babbling for several seconds*
    Deathwolf: And we’re learning about it NOW?
    Mardeus: I learned of it myself less than fifteen minutes ago, Lord Deathwolf. I assure you, even seeing it at the speed it’s moving was nearly impossible. It’s moving faster than anything that isn’t in the Webway should be, and emitting a warp displacement the likes of which a Blackstone Fortress couldn’t match. A Tyranid Hive ship has a smaller presence in the immaterium.
    *Clenden stands* Clenden: The full force of Battlefleets Obscura, Gothic, Carredius, and fully one third of Solar stand ready to intercept this thing. And who knows, if it’s as dangerous as it sounds, and truly isn’t here to interfere with us, those Eldar of Ulthwé might even have a hand in it. *Clenden turns to Mardeus* Is there a possibility that this thing might be an Eldar craftworld that got sucked into the Warp?
    Mardeus: No chance. Craftworlds are harder to see at these distances, and they can not move that fast through the Warp. They aren’t even supposed to be able to enter it all, you’ll recall.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)22:50 No.14747810
    *A shriek of terror, followed by a very loud THUD sound from the outside of the window. Creed and Kell leap to the window and Mardeus collapses. The light from outside visibly turns purple*
    Creed: I…I have no idea. *Inhuman roar sounds from beyond window. A cacophony of dogs barking and human screams begin from the parade grounds*
    *Mardeus yells in shock and passes into a coma. Blenkach draws his vox-caster*
    Blenkach: Artillery command! Fire control, active! Immediate effect, danger close! Target parade grounds and-*Creed grabs the vox-caster from Blenkach*
    Creed: Belay prior commands, artillery command. Target has departed.
    Blenkach: Departed?! It’s…gone?!
    Deathwolf: It’s gone, Lord Commissar.
    *Mardeus begins shivering, still comatose*
    Kell: Lord Creed, sir, shall I summon a medicae?
    Creed: Immediately, Kell. *Creeds sits down at the table and begins shaking his head* I never thought I see THAT. *the light from the window returns to the normal color of morning sunlight*
    Clenden: Why was it glowing? Why was it laughing? *Clenden pulls out his own vox-caster* Fleet command, this is Admiral Clenden. Track the object that emerged from the warp rift in the kasr parade ground at once. Where is it going? *several seconds pass* What the living hell do you mean, TOWARDS the Plaguemaster base?
    >> ChaosUndivided 04/28/11(Thu)22:51 No.14747823

    I would love to see the Ork and Tau points of view
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)22:54 No.14747854
    Well, I'm not done yet...
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)23:00 No.14747932
    Plaguebearer Glubtil was not a complex daemon. He loved Papa Nurgle, and Papa Nurgle loved him. He loved Glubtil so much, he had given Glubtil the title of Plaguemaster, the first Plaguebearer ever to have that name!
    Glubtil was out on the hills of Cadia one morning, doing what he always did: watching that angry young Abbadon order people around. Glubtil sighed. He knew Papa loved Abbadon, but it never made sense to Glubtil why the Ascendant One was always so MAD! He got the chance to spread Papa’s love, along with those other powerful people in the warp, so why was he always going on about “vindication” this, and “vengeance” that, and “undying conquest” the other thing? Wasn’t it enough to just spread the virulent delights of the Deathgarden?
    Just as Glubtil made up his mind to go have a chat with young Abbadon and ask him that very thing, something changed. Glubtil didn’t like change much, unless it was showing people how much Papa loved them, but he couldn’t tell at first what was going on. A big yellow thing, larger than even old Uncle Bubonicus, jumped over the hill he was standing on! It looked like a big yellow dog, really, and Glubtil stared at it happily. He loved dogs.
    The dog didn’t stop to roll around in the Fetid Ground, though, he jumped right over them and went straight for that rascal Abbadon’s HQ. Glubtil watched, mesmerized, as the big yellow doggie jumped on top of the building and started yelling a whole lot. If Glubtil had still had his ears, it might have hurt!
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)23:08 No.14748028
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    >He loved dogs.

    This brought tears to my eyes. Tears of joy. Props to you, good sir.
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)23:24 No.14748266
    If I was a daemon, and the Emperor becomes the Emperorasque. I'd defect.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)23:26 No.14748285
    Abbadon the Despoiler, Lord of the Chaos Ascendants, Leader of Twelve Black Crusades (he still resented Doombreed stealing that fifth one from him), Disciple of the Eight-Pointed Star, and unquestioned leader of the Black Legions, was the nightmare of the High Lords of Terra. His was a name mentioned by parents to terrify their children. He was the only man to have ever refused daemonhood, and no human in the galaxy controlled the hosts of the Ruinous Mark as he did. At the moment, however, little of that mattered, however.
    For at that moment, Abbadon the Despoiler, First Captain of the Black, was getting his shit wrecked by a monster.
    “DESTROY THAT THING!” he screamed at the Black Legionnaires surrounding him. Several opened up on the four-legged monstrosity, and sheets of bolts, demonic fireballs, and even a few rockets poured at its flanks.
    As they approached its sides, the missiles seemed to freeze in midair. The demonic fire bounced off its hide, if they reached it at all, with many slamming into the frozen bolts and detonating them. Abbadon roared with hatred and frustration. “I’LL KILL THE BLOODY THING MYSELF!” He flourished the Talon of Horus, firing its macro-storm Bolter as he charged. The Sword of Drach’nyen gleamed in his other hand as he sprinted at the beast, with all the strength his ancient artificer armor could lend him.
    Abruptly, the monster pivoted its massive body to face him, staring down at the Warmaster with beady, purple eyes. Abbadon leaped at the creature, screaming his defiance.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)23:29 No.14748316
    The monster reached one huge leg up and almost casually slapped the flying Marine aside. He slammed into the ranks of his own troops, bowling them down like flower stems in a tornado. Dazed, Abbadon scrambled for his sword, and his hand closed around the grip. He rolled to his feet and hefted the blade high, with both hands clenched tight. Before he could charge at the thing anew, however, it reared back on two legs and roared. “WHAT THE FLYING BUGGERANCE IS THIS?”
    >> ChaosUndivided 04/28/11(Thu)23:35 No.14748400

    It won't be any ordinary daemon that will join the Emperasque

    Doombreed, pissed as fuck with the Chaos Marine lunacy that is Abaddon, Carron, and Doomrider, is impressed with the level of carnage that the Emperasque wreaked upon the Black Legion. After renouncing his allegiance to Khorne, Doombreed becomes burnmaimkillbuddies with the Emperasque, but this time messing shit up together against the Orks, Eldars, Tyranids, and other enemies of mankind.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)23:37 No.14748426
    Abbadon nearly dropped his daemonsword in shock. “W…what?”
    Abbadon shook his head. “You’ll not fool me, daemon! I know you to be a beast of the warp, trying to usurp me! I shall be the one to lead the Host of the Taint to Terra! I’ll carve your eyes from your skull!” He charged forward, as fast as his legs could take him.
    “YOU’LL DO NO SUCH THING, YOU PISSANT FAILURE,” the monstrosity roared, and slammed its forelegs into the ground. 130 tons of muscle and bone crashed into the ground, and Abbadon stumbled to a halt, mere meters from the colossal beast. It swept its head down to ground level and tossed the power-armored Chaos Champion aside like a ragdoll.
    “YOU SIT DOWN WHILE YOUR BETTERS ARE SPEAKING, ABBADON,” it roared. Abbadon crashed into the ground with a sound like a krak grenade going off in a piano store. “I’VE NO INTEREST IN YOUR WEAKNESS. BUT IF YOU’RE SO SURE YOU WANT TO HOLD MY ATTENTION…” it jumped forward, clear over the crumbling HQ building, and landed with its massive feet together, square on Abbadon’s shoulders. Abbadon screamed in sudden, terrorized agony as his limbs tore from their sockets with a sickening CRUNCH.
    The huge creature took a few steps backward, scraping Abbadon’s arms off on the rockcrete. “DO YOU SEE NOW YOUR FAILURE? YOU TURNED FROM MY PATH, AND FOLLOW HORUS INTO FAILURE. AND NOW, YOU HAVE NO ARMS TO LIFT IN DEFIANCE OF MY WILL.”
    >> Anonymous 04/28/11(Thu)23:48 No.14748551
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    fucking knew it would take his arms

    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)23:50 No.14748583
    Sergeant Lustig stared at the plateau before him with unconcealed confusion. It might have been embarrassing if anyone could have seen him, but he was secured under his ghillie blanket well enough. A distant nephew of the Captain Lustig who had served under the near-mythical Ciaphas Cain, he had been raised with his uncle’s stories about the mad things they had done in the Emperor’s service, like confronting a daemonette of Slaanesh with nothing but lasrifles, or running a Brood Lord over with a Salamander. Nothing his uncle had ever told him, however, prepared him for this.
    A creature, so huge it could have passed for a Titan if it were chrome-coated and bipedal, was jumping around on a group of Chaos Marines in the valley below. A few cultists were scrambling to escape it, but the Marines themselves seemed to be either transfixed at the sight of it, bleeding to death where the monster had crushed them, or carrying one of their fellows with the silliest-looking topknot Lustig had ever seen off to a waiting Rhino. The creature was easily shrugging off the few pitiful shots that were aimed at it, and Lustig had to remind himself that he was looking and anti-tank missiles.
    The monster finished off the few Marines and cultists that were left quickly enough, and stared at the departing Rhino as if contemplating chasing it. It seemed to decide against it, and swept its malevolent gaze across the landscape, pausing for a moment on the spot where Lustig had noticed a Nurglite daemon watching the carnage. The daemon waved at the huge beast and wandered off, and the colossal creature continued to sweep the valley.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/28/11(Thu)23:55 No.14748662
    >looking *at* anti-tank rockets
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)00:01 No.14748736
    The vast creature’s gaze fell upon Lustig’s position, and Lustig opened his mouth in a silent gasp of terror. The creature seemed to grin from its bizzare, many-fanged mouth, and threw itself forward into a running lope that devoured the distance between them as fast as it had devoured the Chaos cultist that had tried to jump on it, moments after it had jumped on the topknot marine’s shoulders. Lustig screamed in pure, gut-wrenching horror, throwing off his ghillie blanket and sprinting for the monocycle he had left at the base of the hill behind him.

    The thunderous sound of gigantic feet behind him informed him that he wasn’t going to make it. The vast creature leaped over the hill and landed mere inches behind the luckless Sergeant, who was launched through the air by the impact, and tumbled to the grass, knocking the wind right out of him. He rolled to his back and gasped for air as the horrible beast leaned over him, not even winded. It opened its mouth with a blast of foul air, and the part of Lustig that wasn’t scrambled by the landing resigned himself to his imminent digestion.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)00:09 No.14748824



    >> holy shit you guys this so much fun to write Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)00:18 No.14748927
    I aim to please. I occasionally hit, too.

    “DO NOT RUN FROM ME, MORTAL.” Lustig blinked, his panicked mind wondering if the Munitorum had dispatched a sanctionite to rescue him. Certainly the voice echoed in his mind as well as his ears. “YOU HAVE THE HONOR OF WITNESSING MY FIRST BATTLE ACTION IN ELEVEN THOUSAND YEARS. STOP LOOKING LIKE A FISH.”
    Lustig could only gape. “What? Are…aren’t you a demon?”
    “WHAT?” the creature roared. Lustic clapped his hands to his ears in pain. “ME? A DEMON? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I’M CLEARLY THE EMPEROR OF ALL…OH.” The thing looked down at its body in bemusement. “I GUESS I CAN’T BLAME YOU FOR THAT, HUH?” The thing took a few steps back. “GET UP.”

    Lustig scrambled to his feet, his legs understandably wobbly. The creature continued. “I HADN’T REALIZED I WOULD LOOK LIKE THIS FOREVER. THIS WILL MAKE THE JOB A BIT HARDER, WON’T IT?”
    I’m consorting with a demon, Lustig told himself, giddy with fear still. “What do you mean?” he asked aloud, waiting for sanity to reassert itself. It didn’t.
    There really didn’t seem to be too much to say, Lustig thought, so he kept silent. He just stared at the creature, and eventually it spoke again to break up the awkward silence. “TELL CREED…I LIKE WHAT HE’S DONE WITH THE PLACE.” Then, with a crack of displaced air that nearly sucked Lustig back off his feet, the thing vanished in a purple cloud of mist.
    Lustig collapsed again, staring at the rapidly dissipating cloud as if it would spit his wits back out. Well, he thought to himself, at least I can finally one-up my uncle’s stories.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)00:20 No.14748945
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    Jolly good show chap.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)00:22 No.14748972
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    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)00:27 No.14749028
    I'm not done yet.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)00:32 No.14749078
    The observation void platforms of Macragge are, by necessity, among the best left in the galaxy. It was that world, the home of the Ultramarines, the second birthplace of Robute Guilliman, that drove Hive Fleet Behemoth to pieces, and houses the mortal remains of the second greatest leader the Imperium has ever known. The void platforms, named Calgar, Tigurius, and Cassius, for the three leaders of the Ultramarines, were the templates used to design the great Void Stations of Armageddon, which helped prevent the loss of that world to the Orks.
    It was these stations that first detected something approaching the planet from the direction of Segmentum Obscurus. The return of a splinter fleet could not be discounted, and so the full force of the first, second, fifth, and ninth companies of the Ultramrines, the finest warriors of the Astartes, were assembled at the northern polar fortress, which had managed to hold off even the Dominatrix of Behemoth. Librarian Tigurius, perhaps the most potent human psyker in the galaxy barring the Emperor Himself, joined Chapter Master Calgar before the stasis-locked form of Primarch Gulliman in the Shrine of the Temple of Correction, seeking one final prayer of guidance from Chaplain Cassius. The black-clad old Marine slowly raised his hands in prayer before the frozen body of his genetic predecessor.
    “We seek your beneficence, Lord Guilliman, and the guidance of the Emperor on Earth, blessed be the Golden Throne. May the defense of the innocents of Macragge be steadfast, and the protection of the honor of the Chapter never falter.”
    >> Glassberg Never 04/29/11(Fri)00:43 No.14749211
    All my life I've served the emperor. For three hundred years, I have smote the alien, the demon and the heretic with silent devotion. For three hundred years I have felled The Emperor's enemies with my boltgun, my chainsword and my armored hands when all else failed me. I have done this without ever falling to the barbaric shouting of my traitor counterparts, or the machismo chest-beating of the Imperial Guard. The traitors scream to terrify, the Guard to steel themselves, but it was never the way of the Iron Saints chapter of the Adeptus Astartes.

    Then came the day I will never forget. Beleaguered on Cadia, my fallen brothers all around me, I saw death in the form of a Black Legion warband bearing down on me. I accepted my fate with grim resolve and saw to silencing as many heretics as I could before I would let my life be taken.

    That was when He came.

    A golden beast that dwarfed the Titans it had left it ruins behind it bounded into the fray. In mere moments it killed the hundred traitors still standing. My brothers and I, barely a dozen remaining of the full company that deployed, looked into the beast's eye and knew the truth.

    Our Emperor had returned.

    "WHY SO GLUM, KIDDO." He roared with honest glee, "WE HAVE WORK TO BE DOING!"

    For the first time since donning my holy armor, I gave in to pure emotion. A cry of pure joy left my lungs. The Emperorasque smiled, as much as he could, and lead us into battle.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)00:46 No.14749229
    Suddenly, Chief Librarian Tigurius rose to his feet, disrupting the sermon. He spun to gape at the ceiling. Calgar looked up at him is surprise. “What is it, old friend?”
    Tigurius cradled his head in his hands. “I…I feel a great, terrible, divine power. It approaches us, Marneus, with the winds of the Warp at its back.”
    Cassius joined Calgar and the rest of the assembled Ultramarines, and the thousands of pilgrims, Ecclesiarchal drones, and PDF honor guards in staring at the ceiling, as if they would suddenly develop the same psychic powers as the Librarian, and see what he saw. Calgar grimaced. “A divine power…is it one of those accursed Eldar Warp entities, Avatars?”
    Tigurius shook his head, nearly weeping tears of joy. “No, Lord battle-brother, it is nothing so profane…such a presence…it can only be our Emperor himself!” Calgar felt his jaw drop.
    “Impossible!” he proclaimed without thinking. Realizing his mistake, he continued. “The Emperor sits the Golden Throne, never to march alongside mortal Man again.”
    “Apparently not, brother,” the wizened psyker whispered. “He comes to us.” Cassius turned to the frozen body of Guilliman and bowed his head, grinning.
    “It seems,” he said faintly, “that my prayers are to be answered.”
    The pilgrims scattered throughout the vast sepulcher started gibbling to themselves, several taking a reverent knee, others fainting from the shock. The PDF honor guard were little better, milling about uncertainly, and the Ecclesiarchs around the room clustered before the body of Robute Guilliman, locked in its eternal rictus of pain, the poisoned wounds at its neck clear to see.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)00:54 No.14749308
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    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)00:58 No.14749337
    Abruptly, the sky beyond the adamantium sepulcher turned a vivid purple, as the warp being flashed into existence outside. The faithful fell to their knees and sobbed, the Ultramarines stood true and proud, and the Ecclesiarchy minions called out His most Divine name in rapturous joy.
    For several seconds, there was nothing but a howling wind beyond the walls of the vast, mountainous temple. Then, with a suddenness that shocked the assembled mass of humanity, a loud WHAM sounded from the ceiling above the marble throne. The Ultramarine contingent visibly tensed, and the gray-haired Tigurius nearly toppled. Calgar caught his arm, baffled. “What is it, brother? What just happened?”
    Tigurius shook his head. “The…the God-Emperor, he can’t…this can’t be…”
    Before Calgar could ask him what he meant, a deafening roar sounded from above the building. “DEAREST ROBUTE, WHY DID YOU ALLOW YOURSELF SUCH TASTE IN ARCHITECTURE? I MEAN, YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ECONOMICALLY-MINDED ONE.”
    The ceiling shook visibly, the ancient marble and adamantium buckling under a vast impact that threw the standing gathering to the ground, save only the most sure-footed of the Space Marines. The voice continued. “I MEAN, JAGHATAI NEVER NEEDED A TEMPLE THE SIZE OF AN AIRCRAFT CARRIER. HE HAD A HORSE AND A GUY WITH LIGHTNING IN HIS ASS AND A MOTORCYCLE THE SIZE OF A BUS. WHAT MORE DID HE NEED?”
    The whole building, walls of armor and all, shook with the force of the next slam. Everyone left standing toppled to the ground. “AND RATHER MORE TO THE POINT, WHO BUILDS A TEMPLE OUT OF FUCKING ARMOR? WERE YOU THAT AFRAID OF DORN STICKING HIS BOOT UP YOUR ASS? DID THOSE WOLVES RUSS YOU TO HAVE SCARE YOU THAT BADLY?”
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)01:02 No.14749373
    you to have = used to have

    thank you guys!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)01:05 No.14749409
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)01:09 No.14749470
    I have no idea what a tarrasque is but that is the most awesome thing I've ever read
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)01:12 No.14749500
    Finally, the ceiling gave way, and a hole big enough to fly a Marauder through appeared in the abused roof. Vast chunks of the building fell inward around the hole, sending the pilgrims scrambling for their lives. Tigurius overcame his stupor to dazedly knock the bigger chunks harmlessly aside, as an enormous orange animal fell through the hole. It landed with an earth-shaking THUD at the foot of the throne, knocking Cassius aside like a bowling pin. The enormous creature stared at the figure of Robute Guilliman on the throne, and in a rather more reasonable tone, continued. “SHIT, SON, THAT GLITTERY TRAITOR FULGRIM REALLY FUCKED YOU UP, DIDN’T HE? GOOD THING SLAANESH USED HIM FOR TOILET PAPER.” The creature padded up the flight of stairs leading to the throne, with the Ultramarines at its feet gazing on in astonishment. The monster looked at the man with…what? Pity? Sorrow? Regret?
    At length, it spoke again. It was still gazing at the blue-armored man on the marble chair, but its words were directed at the Ultramarines. “HEY, YOU GUYS. LISTEN, GO GET IN TOUCH WITH WHOEVER’S RUNNING THE BLACK TEMPLARS, THESE DAYS, HUH? I HAVE A DOCTOR’S APPOINTMENT TO BE AT.” With no more talking, and no pomp or bombast at all, the colossal monster vanished with a thunderclap of displaced air, taking the stasis-protected Primarch with him.
    Marneus Calgar, the man who punched Khaine to death, the Space Marine who broke Behemoth over his knee, stared at the empty space his bestial Emperor and spiritual liege had just vacated. All he could manage, with his centuries of oratorical skill, was a single “What the FUCK?”
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)01:13 No.14749509
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)01:23 No.14749624
    You fucker, now it's unstoppable!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)01:24 No.14749636
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    Holy shit, this has seven positive votes in sup/tg/ already? You guys are awesome.

    (and by next time I mean about ten minutes)
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)01:31 No.14749713
    Astropathic communication, as humans know it, is a complex and unpleasant thing. First, one must actually be soul-stripped and rebuilt, and if that doesn’t kill you, you invariably go blind.
    Not all races came into psychic power as humans did. Some races had it far before the advent of the Dark Gods rendered it unusable. The Eldar possess a very refined form of, and are able to shape into many forms, from divination to pyrokinesis. The Orks have a very simple form of it, binding their Wyrds to the primal force of the WAAAAAAGH. The Slaan are even more in tune than the Eldar they helped create, though they have withdrawn from the universe to meditate and taunt the lesser races. Rumors abound regarding the Tau Etherials.
    But one thing is for certain: there are few psyker forces more potent than ten Eldar Craftworld Farseers in one place.
    It was Farseer Macha of Biel-tan who called the meeting to order. Her voice cut through the low hum of the other assembled path-lost Seers with all the authority she could muster. “I need hardly tell you all why we’re here. The Mon-keigh Emperor is back, and he’s merged with a Warp Beast. It’s a type we’ve never seen before, with all the psychic, physical, and mental capacity that both have wielded at their peaks combined. The question is: do we attack, watch from a distance, or help out?”
    Her brusque manner caused a few hackles to rise among the more conservative, older Farseers, but nobody said anything. Finally, Spiritseer Iyanna Arienal of Iyanden spoke. “What choice have we? This was something literally none of us saw. We have no choice but to let the events play out and hope that we can direct the re-emerging Imperium in a favorable direction. After all, we are only at war because of actions of Uldred, who is gone, and Fulgrim, who betrayed the humans. This…new Emperor may be amenable to common sense.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)01:45 No.14749864
    “Perhaps, Iyanna, but the return of an entity such as their Emperor, bound to a Warp Beast of nearly indestructible strength, is not a force we can hope to direct. Frankly, Maugan Ra himself would be ill-equipped to battle such a monster if ever it would attack us,” Farseer Dra’aniel of Alaitoc replied. “I think that quietly letting it…him…know that we know it exists would be wise, if only to drive it to caution. It can not withstand the might of the Eldar Assembled.”
    “No,” Arienal said tightly, “but neither can we afford to direct our full might against it. We are already at war with no fewer than two entire Imperial Battlegroups. How many of our Craftworlds harbor our enemies at the moment? Two? How many more have we lost? Nine?”
    “Your point?” Macha replied icily. “We can hardly wait to FUCK!” She spun around as every head in the room twisted to gaze at the distant Wraithub of Ulthwé, where the vast Webway Gates that ferried her troops into battle stood. A horrible, sickly, green glow was emanating from one of the largest gates, and Macha reeled. Her half-sister, Taldeer of Ulthwé, clasped her shoulder for a moment, and Macha shook her head free of inborn superstition. “Those accursed Necron…they are at the gates! Prepare for immediate combat!”
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)01:51 No.14749935
    >Macha can hardly wait to FUCK
    Well played.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)01:51 No.14749940
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    >>14749864 We can hardly wait to FUCK!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)01:54 No.14749959

    I hoped you guys would like that. Kinda surprised nobody mentioned the Cain reference.
    Anyway, I have a few more bits coming, then bed. Keep this raft afloat, children.
    >Day petsith
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)02:00 No.14750018
    I didn't catch the reference, sorry., Still don't see it.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)02:01 No.14750024
    It was the Lustig thing a few pages up. never mind, i'ts 2:00 am and i'm drifting off
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)02:04 No.14750050
    OOOH! Well you outright said he was related to the Lustig from Cain. It wasn't hidden enough to need comment.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)02:12 No.14750133
    On the streets below, Guardians in their thousands mustered. The vast, enclosed skies of the Craftworld seemed to come alive as small fliers darted out from innumerable towers and hangars, bringing the citizen soldiers of the Craftworld to battle. Ulthwé was not one of the more populous Craftworlds, but it still could field a chilling force in its own defense. Before the gates themselves, the Aspect warriors of Ulthwé, and the guards of the Seers that had convened for this phenomenally poorly-timed meeting took positions. A wraithlord rumbled forth from a nearby shrine, and several dozen Warp Spiders took cover behind the structure of the Gates themselves.
    And a single human in a ski mask carefully coiled the right sleeve of his shirt up to the shoulder, to prevent the passage of blood from interrupting his aim.
    Taldeer, as the ranking Farseer present at the meeting, was first to arrive, her face grim behind her mask. Her “partner’s” total absence from sight didn’t surprise her; the human was remarkably good at remaining concealed.
    The gates were starting to look downright necrotic now, with the deeply unnerving greenish glow starting to shimmer from invisible points in the air, rather than just emanating from the frame of the gates themselves. Several Wave Serpents settled to the ground before the gate complex, and over fifty more Banshees piled out, brandishing their glittering weapons. Taldeer sighed to herself as the light from the gates grew brighter and brighter, the security they had put in place to prevent the Webway from ever being used against them in their own homes clearly failing. “I wonder…” she asked herself aloud, pulling a few small blue runestones from her pocket. She knelt, casting them to the ground and watching their movements. Her brow wrinkled as one seemed to hover in midair, then gasped as it shot towards the ceiling.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)02:15 No.14750173
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    I love you, /tg/.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)02:16 No.14750178
    >> Mayor Jim Suttle !OMAHa/k25s 04/29/11(Fri)02:17 No.14750192
         File1304057853.png-(12 KB, 474x435, rainbow eye bleed.png)
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    >NO ARMS
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)02:21 No.14750240
    But I wanna know what happens next! just finish the story arc?
    >> Glassberg Never 04/29/11(Fri)02:31 No.14750355
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    >mfw love can bloom reference
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)07:07 No.14752009
    Bumping for the sheer awesomeness contained in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)08:10 No.14752346
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)10:06 No.14752940
    >yfw a new order of spess marines are formed from the Emperorasque's gene seed.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)10:32 No.14753065
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    So a summary:

    A Tarrasque appears on Holy Terra and merges with the soul of the God-Emperor to become the Star Child.

    Creed and Tusken Raiders joins the Emperasque as his new retinue.

    Everywhere he goes, the Emperasque eats the Hive Mind, the Eye of Terror, Abaddon's arms, and the Ward-era Grey Knights.

    A new Space Marine Chapter with a Tarrasque gene-seed is underway.

    Am I on target here?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)10:43 No.14753136
         File1304088191.png-(107 KB, 480x715, MerryTarrasquemas.png)
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    It's like Tarrasquemas!
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)10:55 No.14753201
    Ok back for a while
    greasing the writefag-O-tronic 23000 back up
    AND SOMEONE (might) DIE
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)11:05 No.14753265
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)11:30 No.14753396
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    Go on
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)11:36 No.14753426
         File1304091389.jpg-(98 KB, 872x720, 1298319535274.jpg)
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    brb yardwork
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)11:37 No.14753434
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    ... ok
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)11:55 No.14753567
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)12:14 No.14753745
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)12:40 No.14753974

    I never do this but:

    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)12:42 No.14753988
         File1304095361.png-(32 KB, 500x500, 10 10 rage reaction face.png)
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)12:46 No.14754022
    Well blimey.

    Discreet bump too.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)13:08 No.14754163
    baaaaack you delightful ca/tg/irls, producing faggotry~
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)13:09 No.14754171
         File1304096966.jpg-(52 KB, 360x358, 999-casualty-rate-Flawless-vic(...).jpg)
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    >AND SOMEONE (might) DIE
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)13:19 No.14754238
    “That’s…not supposed to happen…” she managed to say, just before the shimmering green glow broke out of the gates. A Necron Pariah stepped forth from the webway, brandishing its gauss stave. A warp spider, hiding behind the arch of the webway gate, pressed its weapon to the machine’s back and pulled the trigger. The Pariah flew apart with a horrid screech, but was quickly replaced by two more, who body-slammed the warp spider into the gate arch with a sickening CRACK. One of the two Pariahs lurched backward with a sizzling crater in its chest, and half a second later, an unmistakable *click* noise echoed from the top of a nearby tower. Taldeen smirked. The assassin was clearly not in poor form from his time in traction. The final Pariah fell to a sheet of shuriken from the Guardian phalanx protecting her, and her eyes were drawn back to the runestone, now lost high in the air. Despite the chaos caused by the sudden emergence of the Necrons, she couldn’t help but wonder what could have caused it.

    Abruptly, a Tomb Spyder shot out of the gate. The Dark Reaper bodyguard accompanying Taldeer opened up on the base of machine’s hover-pads, dropping it like a stone. Taldeer noted with a start that it had already been damaged before it arrived, trailing sparks from its necrodermis shell. The green glow from the gates suddenly shut off, and the Webway node slowly started to shut down. Taldeer blinked in confusion. “Wait, that’s it? They only sent four units?”
    Iyanna’s Wraithlord clanked up to rest alongside her, with the Spiritseer herself looking over the (limited) carnage in confusion. “Did we not see a much larger force approaching?”
    Taldeer nodded and doffed her melm. “We saw a whole battalion.”
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)13:20 No.14754242
    One of the Pariahs lurched back up suddenly. Taldeer gasped and drew her sidearm, but another distinctive *click* sounded from the tower, and the Pariah flew apart at the seams. “I’m the ghost in their machine,” the Vindicare’s voice intoned in her ear. Taldeer tried to suppress a smirk.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)13:21 No.14754252
    i'll post more when I get home from work.

    (and if you liked the Eldar chapter, just prepare your bodies for the Tau)
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)13:23 No.14754264
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)13:23 No.14754267
    >"I'm the ghost in their machine"

    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)13:26 No.14754283
    Universe At War: Earth Assault references!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)13:40 No.14754357
    If he blows the spirit out of the machine,does that make him deus ex machina?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)13:52 No.14754450
    I have not loved /tg/ this much in almost a year. I strayed from the path of light, allowed the heresy of other boards to cloud my mind! Know now, my brother fa/tg/uys, my faith is renewed!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)14:06 No.14754554
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    Haven't used this image in years. You've earned it, guys.
    >> Command Squad !8CHDJ3c6tQ 04/29/11(Fri)14:51 No.14754920
    Well fuck! I came in here to writefag because I left this page open for a while while I was in class. It only had 26 posts back then.
    Now I come back to this.
    I goddamn love this board.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)15:12 No.14755093
    Bump for more of the story!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)15:28 No.14755219
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)15:40 No.14755356
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    Cannot resist... have to drawfag...

    Emprahasque protect us!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)15:41 No.14755362
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    bumping with a bear
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)15:42 No.14755373
    I fucking love you
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)15:52 No.14755475
    >> Oddfag 04/29/11(Fri)15:56 No.14755504
    Transcript of vox-transmission near station Drakontas-4

    ???: -atch me through to our lord now!
    ???: As you order, it shall be done.
    ???: What is this meaning of this converse?
    ???: My lord and master, Cypher has succeed in his goal. The beast has been released within the Golden Throne.
    ???: And the Emperor?
    ???: Reborn as the Star Child at long last. He has already begun to adorn the galaxy with his magnificence. That fool Abaddon has been injured beyond repair, and our reborn lord removed Guilliman from his throne on Macragge.
    ???: *chuckle* Excellent. The fruits of our ancient scheme have finally shown themselves. Soon the Galaxy will be utterly conquered by the ultimate God-Emperor, and we shall fight by him in his true glory! HYDRA DOMINATUS!
    ???: *snicker* Just as planned. Wait, why is the signal jammer of-
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)15:58 No.14755517
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    This thread is the best thing I've seen all week. Y'all are AWESOME.

    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)15:59 No.14755521
    I just ejaculated a rainbow!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)15:59 No.14755527
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    >Alphas planned the whole thing
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)16:02 No.14755550
    I fucking knew it.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)16:05 No.14755576
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)16:06 No.14755592
    So wait, if the Emperor became the Emperasque, would that make the everyone less xenophobic?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)16:07 No.14755595
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)16:15 No.14755657
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    Fuck, now I'm tempted to make an Alpha Legion warband that worships the Emperasque.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)16:24 No.14755736
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    All right lads, ladies, and LARpers, time for the thrilling conclusion of the Eldar segment of this adventure.

    Coming up next, Whatever Happened to the Mongol Crusader?
    >cthulu nuarsh
    what the double diggity dickings is captcha on about
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)16:48 No.14755899
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)16:53 No.14755931
    >>14755592 Maybe. It depends on what the Emperasque says about xenos. Either way, I don't think anybody'll argue.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)16:55 No.14755948
    The Webway gates flared up, this time in their usual light blue. The cleanup team that had been securing the necrodermis shrapnel for disposal froze, and the Eldar troops who had been deployed around the gates snapped back to readiness. Iyanna smiled grimly. “Perhaps we spoke too soon…”

    Taldeer nodded and put her helm back on, but before she do anything else, a sudden burst of pain wracked her head. She gasped and stumbled, pitching forward. She clamped her hands over her ears, not that it helps in a helmet. Her assassin partner’s voice spoke in her ear, sounding uncharacteristically worried. “Taldeer? What’s wrong?”
    The Farseer straightened up, wincing. “Someone’s…coming, something that shouldn’t be in the Webway at all…I can’t even-“
    CRACK. The central gate sprung to life, the eldritch energies within spilling forth. A colossal creature jumped forth, crushing the remnants of the Tomb Spyder. A streak of shimmering blue fell past it with a loud CLANG, scattering the clean-up crew. The assembled guardians collectively gasped and raised their shuriken launchers. The vast monster opened its fanged jaws and spoke. “SO WHERE IS ELDRAD THESE DAYS? I THINK HE OWES ME A FAVOR.”
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)16:57 No.14755965

    YES! Please do continue.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)16:58 No.14755971
    Alrighty, elegan/tg/entlemen,
    Original drawfag here, getting to work on Tarasque Marines
    Or should we call them Mariques or something?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:01 No.14755984
    two bucks says that they look just like dragonborn.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:02 No.14755999
    not quite... you'll see soon
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:05 No.14756013
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:06 No.14756028
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:06 No.14756029
    Alpha Legion with Tarrasque deigns/heraldry?

    Fuck yeah.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)17:08 No.14756039
    I love how the Emperasque has psykers in his PAULDRONS. It's fantastic.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:08 No.14756041
         File1304111329.png-(252 KB, 1581x678, tg - Motherfucking 40k Alpha L(...).png)
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:10 No.14756052
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    Actually, that would be pretty awesome.
    >> only a few more paragraphs of eldar then we move on I swear Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)17:16 No.14756109
    Farseer Sen’tiar of the Lugganath massaged his temples wearily. They had been in conference with the…thing that had emerged from their gates for nearly an hour, and the psychic pressure of being roared at by the most potent entity in the galaxy was getting to him. “So…you truly didn’t have a choice, then? You saw your true death as inevitable, and merged with this warp beast to escape death?”
    “This seems a bit…drastic, though, doesn’t it? It’s not becoming.”
    “We noticed,” Taldeer muttered. Louder, she added “The fact that you are under the false impression that Fathe…Farseer Eldrad owes you a personal favor is rather more distressing, frankly. He said nothing of that.”
    “But…that would be you owing HIM a favor,” Macha replied, totally non-plussed.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:18 No.14756123
         File1304111893.jpg-(424 KB, 1240x1754, Emprasques marines.jpg)
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    Quick update. Liking so far?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:18 No.14756133
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:20 No.14756143

    I would dial them back a bit into looking a little more human, personally, but hell, we're still talking about TARRASQUE BLOODED SPACE MARINES here, so it'll be pretty damn awesome either way.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:25 No.14756178
    I think it should a bit more human-with-tarrasque-features than Tarrasque-astartes hybrid.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)17:27 No.14756196
    Taldeer and Macha looked at each other, stunned into silence. How could that have even been?
    It was LIVII, of all people, who found his voice first. “My Lord God, how do you mean?”
    The Emperor glared down at the Vindicare with what was probably a mildly irritated expression on his massive, scaly face. “FIRST OF ALL, THAT’S BETWEEN ME AND HIS DAUGHTERS, AND SECOND, WHY IS ONE OF MY ASSASSINS ON ULTHWE IF IT ISN’T FOR STRATEGIC TARGET REMOVAL?”
    LIVII bowed his head respectfully, trying very, very hard not to let his knees turn to jelly. “It is a phenomenally complicated story, my Lord God, but rest assured that this is probably where I belong,” he said, even his Vindicare training failing to keep his emotions from welling up.
    The Emperor was silent for a few seconds, then shrugged his orange shoulders. “EH. I’LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT. I HAVE MORE URGENT TASKS TO ATTEND TO THAN KILLING YOU FOR DESERTION.”
    “Those being?” Taldeer asked curtly, trying to change the subject. Macha grinned at her knowingly.
    “Er, about that,” Farseer Yriic Blueflame of Yme-Loc spoke up. “Why us? And for that matter, why should we believe you when you say Eldrad owes you a favor?”
    For a few long, terrible, gut-churning seconds, the bestial God-Emperor stared at the Faarseer, until finally he made a noise that was probably a sigh of frustration. “FINE. FUCK. I’LL GO GET HIM AND SHOW YOU. YOU’LL OWE ME TWO NOW, THOUGH.” And with a crack of displaced air and purple flash of light he was gone, with a final comment of “TAKE CARE OF MY PAPERWEIGHT SON HERE, I’LL BE BACK SOON ENOUGH.”
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:31 No.14756226
    I came.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)17:31 No.14756227
    The Farseer council looked at one another and the still stasis-locked form of Guilliman, lying on his side as if still on a throne. Macha spoke first. “This has been, bar none, the weirdest day of my life.”
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:32 No.14756242
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    Tried it out. Any better?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:33 No.14756253
    I liked the original one better.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:36 No.14756281
    ...you know what, let's go with the first one. That was pretty cool.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)17:37 No.14756292
    Not bad, but make the nose a bit larger, maybe, and the teeth more numerous. Maybe the lower jaw should have those hooks on it?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:39 No.14756302
    First one was best.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:43 No.14756336
    yeah, i've tried three times now, and the hybrid really ain't working. Alright, redoing first prototype.
    Will be up soonish
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:46 No.14756356
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    Needs hat made entirely of purity seals!

    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)17:49 No.14756376
    The Harlequins of the Eldar tell tales of a pocket of the Webway where the walls grow thin, and the Old Ones and the Slann did not make the wards properly. The realms of Tzeench exist beyond them, where the Webtunnels bend and twist impossibly, and time is not as it should be. For at the outer edges of the galaxy, the Webway and the Immaterium do not cross, and the grasp of Chaos grows faint, for there are no living things beyond the galaxy save the Outsider and the Tyranids, who are hardly on speaking terms with the Dark Gods.
    But in the center of the galaxy, where Tzeench once ruled all Chaos before he was thrown down by the other three, the Warp is present and strong; the Webway tunnels that were built in the primordial times stray dangerously close to the Warp, there are places where time halts, or flows backward, and nothing is as it should be. Some Solitaires seek this place with a morbid desperation, trying to find these chronovortices to fling themselves back in time and prevent the Fall.
    The denizens of Commorragh avoid these places with terror, sensing the Thirst grow deeper in their proximity to the Warp, and even what few Slann remain do not remember it.
    It is in these dark places of the Webway where Jaghatai Khan found himself eternally, lost and alone, chasing the Dark Eldar who had so skillfully eluded him. All time and logic had left this realm, and a single step could take a lifetime.
    He didn’t even bother keeping track of time, for he knew it to be pointless. All he could do was wander, and hope he wasn’t going backwards.
    Then, one day, something changed.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:51 No.14756386
    3 things I still want to see drawn
    >Sand People with the Emperasque.
    >Abbadon with no arms
    >Glubtil who loves dogs
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)17:52 No.14756397
    >> ☭GLORIOUS COMMUNISM☭ !!BqZW/LIPDoC 04/29/11(Fri)17:53 No.14756410
    I have fapped my dick raw to this thread. This has to be one of if not the BEST /tg/ thread in years.
    >> Lord Castellan Ursarkar E Creed 04/29/11(Fri)18:05 No.14756494
    Someone else, you do have all this in a file right? So it can be saved for posterity?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:06 No.14756498
    Its already being archived on suptg.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)18:06 No.14756500
    As Jaghatai retraced his steps for what could very well have been the millionth time, he felt something. Not in the endless tunnels of the Webway, but beyond, in the mad realm of Chaos. The eternally twisting patterns of entropy and creation splint and bent aside, allowing something to pass by. Jaghatai stopped and stared, horrified and awed. What could be powerful enough to bend the Warp so much it could alter time itself? He snapped out of his shock, and bolted for the nearest side-tunnel, one too far away to reach while trapped in the chronovortex. Just as the being passed his position, he could almost hear the creature, which seemed to be talking to itself, but words eluded him.
    As the creature passed, he could feel the tug of time at his mind, pulling him back into the chronovortex. He screamed in frustration and doubled his effort, sprinting for the edge of the tunnel. With a massive, final effort, he leapt through, as the creature, whatever it was, passed by completely. He lay on the floor of the infinite tunnel, panting roughly, before clutching his arms to his sides and laughing, tears of relief streaming down his face. Finally, he was free! Now…how to escape fully?
    >> ☭GLORIOUS COMMUNISM☭ !!BqZW/LIPDoC 04/29/11(Fri)18:07 No.14756508

    I've saved the thread, if that helps any.
    >> ☭GLORIOUS COMMUNISM☭ !!BqZW/LIPDoC 04/29/11(Fri)18:08 No.14756514
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:09 No.14756522

    I think we're approaching auto-sage, new thread?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)18:11 No.14756533
    We've still got a few dozen posts and about a hundred images left before we hit the bump limit, I think.
    >> ☭GLORIOUS COMMUNISM☭ !!BqZW/LIPDoC 04/29/11(Fri)18:11 No.14756538

    I second this.
    >> Brother-Captain Fumbles 04/29/11(Fri)18:17 No.14756585
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:17 No.14756586

    I checked, we're at about 205 posts. Either 225 or 255 is the bump limit, right?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:18 No.14756590
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:18 No.14756597
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    Alrighty, I've gotta run for a bit, but I'll defensively be back.
    Its not perfect, but I hope you like.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:18 No.14756598

    Scratch that, we're at 245.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:18 No.14756604
    300, I believe.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)18:19 No.14756611
    Two dimensions and ten to the seventeenth meters away, Slaanesh was having the day of his life. For over ten thousand years, he had been feasting on the souls of the Eldar, and the infinite pleasures of the Immaterium were his to share. Surely, his oldest foe, the one who had escaped his birth, would delight in their bounty together?
    Slaanesh was wise enough to know that he could never properly entertain Eldrad Ultran in his own palace, not if he was to enjoy this fully. So, he had had his dearest, closest Princelings drag the gibbering Eldar to the Pit of Lust, for their mutual enjoyment. Eldrad had realized what was happening in the disastrous Battle of the Blackstone, naturally, and had used his power to clip his own optic nerve cleanly in two in his last moments before being dragged screaming into the Warp. It irritated Slaanesh just a bit that Eldrad wanted to avoid his gifts so much, but it couldn’t be helped.
    Slaanesh’s many sensuous claws ripped the mask off the Eldar’s face, before pushing him bodily into the Pit. He stood at the edge and giggled at the incoherent scream that emanated from below, reveling in the delightful noise. It was all he could do not to throw the Slick One in after him, seeing as how she did so enjoy the Pit, but no…he wanted this luxury for himself.
    Eldrad clamped his hands over his ears and whimpered pitifully as the hundreds of severed hands in the Pit slowly passed him down the walls, caressing him even through his solid wraithbone armor. He clamped his teeth around his tongue and prayed. “Isha, lady of healing, please, oh please help me, your eldest child, now, in my time of direst temptation, Ashurra and Khaine, lend me your strength, pretect me from the foulness of the Warp…”
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:20 No.14756616
    Is ti just me who likes the DoW dark, dark blue with silver trim Alpha Legion look over the blatant green/blue Codex one?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:28 No.14756675
    I like the DoW colour scheme better as well. Hated how FoK made them look so stupid with that ugly green shit.
    >> i will be a happy camper if someone posts a weirdest boner pic Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)18:28 No.14756679
    “They can’t hear you now, dearest,” Slaanesh giggled to himself. He paused for a moment. “Well, Isha, perhaps, but I broke Khaine over my knee, and Ashurra died with the Old Ones…you know that, silly!” Eldrad ignored him.
    “Asuryan, father of the Pure, protect me from the depredations of evil and madness…”
    Slaanesh laughed, loud and happy. “Asuryan! Wow, I haven’t heard that name since I ate him alive!”
    Eldrad wept through blind eyes. “Taldeer, Macha, please, please forgive me my weakness and my absence, I can not love you more than I do right now…protect our families, and-“
    “Oh, enough,” Slaanesh sighed, “this is getting just downright maudlin.” He slunk down the spiral walls of flesh that lined the Pit, his form shifting and flowing, at once to beautiful to ignore and repulsive to behold. “Your daughters will service my Lust Lords and Keepers of Secrets as I flood you with my gifts.”
    Eldrad could FEEL his mind breaking…no mortal, no Eldar, no being with a soul was meant to be here. “Oh, please, Gods, grant me swift death or deliverance as I fall into darkness…” he cut off as he finally reached the bottom of the Pit. Slaanesh took the last few steps at a jump, landing scant few meters from the Eldar, who had curled into the fetal position and locked his hands over his nose and mouth, whispering “never…never…never…” over and over.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:29 No.14756694
         File1304116182.jpg-(774 KB, 1240x1754, Emprasques marines.jpg)
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    Dawn-of-warred it.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)18:34 No.14756728
    Slaanesh took a moment to enjoy it…his oldest Eldar foe, ready to break and serve him. He slid his hands over the velvet floor of the Pit, towards his ancient enemy. “You escaped me at the Birthing, lover, you escaped me at the Direst Purge, you TRIED to escape me at the Battle of the Blackstone…but that clever lad Abbadon fooled you , dear, and you learned…you can NEVER escape me a third time.”
    Eldrad went limp, his hands falling from his nose and mouth as he shook convulsively. The power of the Chaos God of Pleasure was too much, even for him, this close, in his own realm. He felt a manic grin creep across his face as he felt the Dark God’s toxic scent flow over him…
    Slaanesh sighed happily. All was as it should be. All was right in the Warp. He bade the light above dim, and it did so, turning from a hideous pink to a deep, dark red, an impossible color with no name lacing the clouds of nonexistence. “Now…serve me…” he whispered. The clouds above turned purple, as the Prince of Excess paused over his convulsing enemy.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:34 No.14756736
         File1304116474.jpg-(26 KB, 510x340, flcl-meme-generator-i-have-the(...).jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:36 No.14756754

    Is it ok that I laughed like a madman at that picture?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)18:37 No.14756764
    Ooh, never seen that one before, thanks.

    >Universita ertore
    Never been, I went to a tech school.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:40 No.14756786
    I have one of those right now
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:40 No.14756794

    As you don´t have one of those yourself...
    >> Digi-Heretek !!t60UPA0urvh 04/29/11(Fri)18:41 No.14756797
    Also, I whipped out my ancient trip for this one.

    May I be the first to say that you are one of the few that portray Slaanesh less in a 'FUCK EVERYTHING FOREVER' way and more in a 'SENSATIONS!' way.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)18:42 No.14756815
    “COMING THROUGH!” a voice suddenly yelled. Slaanesh looked up, startled. A huge shadow appeared at the rim of the Pit, staring through beady purple eyes. “I DON’T WANT TO INTERRUPT, BUT I’M KIND OF IN A HURRY HERE. HAND HIM OVER OR I WILL FUCK YOU UP SO BAD YOU’LL HAVE TO CHANGE YOUR TITLE TO PRINCE OF EUNUCHS.”
    Slaanesh gaped. What the fuck was this? A Khornate daemon, here to rob him of his prize? “You’ll not seize me for your master, foul rage beast!” he snarled, his good mood interrupted. “I’ll rip you to ribbons and return you to your master!”
    “LIKE BUGGERY YOU WILL,” the being retorted. A massive wave of blue light flooded the Pit, and Eldrad was suddenly gone. His body appeared at the foot of the colossal creature, and Slaanesh howled with rage and disappointment. The Prince of Excess hurtled himself up the wall of the Pit, landing opposite the massive beast.
    “I know not how you face me without turning to my service, creature, but you have no hope of victory. No entity in any realm may overcome the power of-“
    “SHUT YOUR NASTY LITTLE FACE BEFORE I HACK THE OTHER BREAST OFF,” the monster roared in irritation. “I’LL BE BACK TO SCHOOL YOU SOON ENOUGH.” With a brilliant purple flash of light, the beast and the Eldar were gone, leaving the Chaos God to stand there, baffled.
    Far away, as much as the words have a meaning in the realms of the warp, Tzeench gazed at the vast Sight Crystal before him and chuckled. “He sure didn’t see that coming.”
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:42 No.14756816

    wtf, I forgot two times the "long"
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:44 No.14756829
    >> Digi-Heretek !!t60UPA0urvh 04/29/11(Fri)18:45 No.14756834

    >He sure didn't see that coming

    Oh, good old Tzeenie. Always makes me chuckle.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:49 No.14756861

    So if the Emperor is now the Star Child, he's technically a Warp God, right?

    And those who worship Warp Gods can receives blessings from their deities, including daemonic ascension, right?

    So does that mean we're going to be seeing some Tarrasque-looking Daemon Princes of the Emperor soon?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:51 No.14756881
    this thread already has that covered.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)18:53 No.14756898
    Well, he merged with a Terrasque Warp Entity, so he didn't get reborn so much as rebuilt. But yeah, I imagine he can be powered by worship and suck souls and all that, since he could sort of do it before.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)18:54 No.14756905
    Farseer Taldeer, daughter of the mightiest psyker the Eldar race had ever birthed, knelt at the side of the stasis-locked body of Robute Guilliman. His face was stopped in time, and Taldeer could see, with her Eldar eyes, small pockmarks on either side of his mouth, a grimace of pain. A nasty, green-tinged cut crossed his neck, and an empty, sad look filled his eyes.
    With his mind as frozen as the rest of him, it was all she could to look. She couldn’t read his mind, even if she tried: even the Eldar can’t reverse or unfreeze time. Liivi sat down in a chair next to her and looked at the Primarch pensively. “So…that’s what he looks like. We were always told that he was the one who held the Imperium together in the aftermath of the Heresy.”
    She shook her head slowly. It was unnerving to be next to someone with a mind frozen in time. Such an empty blankness where thought should be. She straightened up, slowly. “I have no idea. That was before I was born.” Livii looked at the shimmering yellow field of energy that surrounded him, maintained by the tiny black box the Emperor had brought with him from Macragge. Taldeer looked at him sideways and let a smile quirk the corners of her mouth. She gently stretched her mind to Livii’s, and his lips twitched in the approximation of a smile he saved for her.
    “I can feel that, you know. Aren’t I as blank as he is?” She shook her head emphatically.
    “No, you’re just free of clutter. Waste. His mind is just…not there. A dead man has more of a mind than he does.” She grinned and sat beside him, letting her head rest against his. When she spoke again, it was almost silent. “I have to wonder what he meant…if Father’s all right.” Livii didn’t answer.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:54 No.14756906
         File1304117659.gif-(21 KB, 455x364, I'm not quite sure what GOD DA(...).gif)
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:54 No.14756908
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    >Daemon Princes of the Emperor
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)18:56 No.14756924
         File1304117760.jpg-(28 KB, 320x514, the sanguinor.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:01 No.14756951
    Fuck! I'm so going to make my next army an Alpha Legion warband that worships the Emperor/Emprahasque! They'll have daemon princes of the Emperor, tarrasque-like terminator armour, chaos lords with angel wings and they'll all be converted loyalist marines!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:01 No.14756958
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    oh hi
    >> (☞゚ヮ゚)☞ Adam ☜(゚ヮ゚☜) !KK2BPQzgwE 04/29/11(Fri)19:04 No.14756976
    posting in an epic thread. well done
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)19:04 No.14756986
    Neither of them could see it, but the air around the base of the Webway Assembly Gates was suddenly filled with a suffuse, purple haze. The Guardians posted nearby pointed and backed off, uneasily. The monstrous new body of the Emperor of Mankind appeared in the midst of the clutter of Gates and landing pads. “FINALLY. I HATE RAW WARP TRAVEL.”
    Taldeer, several buildings away, leapt to her feet when she sensed the Emperor return…with someone else in tow. “It…it can’t be…”
    With the characteristic CRACK of displaced air that always accompanied a teleportation, the Emperor’s monstrous new form arrived in the conference room. “GOT HIM.”
    Taldeer gasped and ran to her prostrate father, who was clearly comatose, with a rictus of impossible ecstasy on his face. “Father! No…was he too late?”
    “HE’S RIGHT HERE, FARSEER, AND NO, YOUR FATHER WILL RECOVER. MIGHT TAKE A WHILE, THOUGH, I’D TIE HIM TO A BED SO HE DOESN’T HURT HIMSELF IN WITHDRAWAL.” The seventy foot long Emperor did something with his shoulders that was probably a shrug. “SATISFIED NOW?”
    Taldeer was in no condition to answer, bent over her father clutching his chest, heaving sobs inconsolably. Livii squeezed her shoulder, which he was pretty sure was what someone with a sense of empathy would have done. Macha tore into the room from where she had been waiting with the rest of the council, in the next room over. She saw her father’s form on the floor and screamed. “Father! You…” she broke off when she saw his condition, and rounded on the gigantic Emperor. “Is he…is he dead?”
    “NOPE, I WAS JUST IN TIME,” the quadrupedal God of Man replied, with a sense of smugness that didn’t really make it through his alien mouth.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)19:09 No.14757045
         File1304118596.jpg-(154 KB, 854x780, 1299921800224.jpg)
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    I just realized that I'm basically turning the God-Emperor Tarrasque into fucking comedy relief.
    >> Espagnoll !/5aJFFL8RI 04/29/11(Fri)19:10 No.14757054
    Holy shit!
    Looks incredible manly and awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:11 No.14757057
    Its his power. He is so strong he can overcome the grimdark.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:12 No.14757070


    It's what makes it so awesome.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:13 No.14757075
         File1304118780.png-(16 KB, 74x74, hello.png)
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    In the grimdark of the 41st millenium there is always room for comic relief!

    To disagree is to heresy!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:15 No.14757095
    And then emps ordered them to build him the biggest ship the galaxy had ever seen...
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)19:15 No.14757100
    OK, be back after dinner is consumed.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:20 No.14757131
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    >this thread
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:21 No.14757146
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:35 No.14757237
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    You hear that OP?
    You did that.

    Good show!
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:59 No.14757412
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    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)19:59 No.14757415
    looks like we hit the image limit. What's the new thread fellows?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)20:02 No.14757435
         File1304121759.jpg-(125 KB, 500x418, tech_priest_by_leofanta-d34ca0(...).jpg)
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    Say what you will. I like my Emperasque comic reflief. He is so insanely strong, being grim and stern just makes no sense.
    Who will defy him? And live to tell the tale, that is.
    But hm... how to describe him?
    I would call what the Dalai Lama would be if he was a British hooligan with unlimited power in a Guy Ritchie movie.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)20:10 No.14757497
         File1304122222.gif-(90 KB, 350x400, bump original.gif)
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    no we havent
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)20:16 No.14757547
    someone mix Tarrasquemas with the glory of what is unfolding on this thread.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)20:19 No.14757568
    What do you think EVERY SINGLE IMPERIAL HOLY DAY EVER becomes?
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)20:44 No.14757787
    Back, resuming writing.

    Here's a teaser: every single line Jaghatai Khan speaks is done in the voice of MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)20:48 No.14757828
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    Best idea ever.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)20:52 No.14757860
    that's just...

    I don't...

    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)20:53 No.14757866
         File1304124794.jpg-(24 KB, 350x350, MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE.jpg)
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    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)20:54 No.14757876
    An ork is a fascinating person, most of the time. They don’t really suffer from angst or stress, they love what they do, and they never run out of people to fight. As long as there’s enemies to fight, they’re just as happy as clams, if Orks even have clams.
    Not that they view every single enemy through the same lens, oh no. They don’t really like the Tau, they’re too boring to fight fair, so they cheat with those big dakka-shooting armor suits that look like what those humie gits call Titans. They love fighting the humies, there’s always so many of them! They even fight other orks, all the time in fact.
    The little orks, though, they’re usually not so lucky. They might have to lug the ammo around if there’s no burna-grot around, and they’re nothing more than squig-herders on the more boring worlds.
    So when Grix, the chief gretchin-minder of the Bluddroks clan, found a funny-looking humie all alone, in the middle of the forests of Zargh 3, he was over the moon! Finally, an enemy to fight. He ran towards the funny humie, waving his choppa and shouting WAAAAGH!
    The humie didn’t even seem to notice, though, he just sat there on his knees, holding his own shoulders and laughing, with tears on his face. Grix didn’t even slow down, charging straight at the humie.
    With a movement so fast it looked like a bolt of lightning striking a tree, the weird humie spun his arm out at Grix. Before Grix could even block with his choppa, suddenly the world was upside down! He blinked in confusion, his tiny brain trying to register what was going on, when his head hit the ground, and the rest of him bounced off of a rock.
    The “humie,” Jaghatai Khan, Primarch of the White Scars Legion, loyal son of the God-Emperor of Mankind, stood up, still chuckling, wiping his tears from his eye with his clean hand.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)20:56 No.14757888
    He faced the open, blue sky and smirked. “Father!” he called aloud. “I bet you can’t hear me, but I saw what you did! I felt you pass, father! I’m back!”
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)20:56 No.14757889
    Please tell me that Russ has the voice of Mick Foley. And refers to himself in the third person.

    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)20:58 No.14757904
    I don't actually know anything about wrestlers, but Savage is one of those guys whose voice improves everything, along with Morgan Freeman, James Earl Jones, and Elvis.
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)21:10 No.14757985
    How will the inquisition react to this I wonder....
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)21:11 No.14757992
    I'm writing that out right now. You read my mind...
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)21:24 No.14758098
    It’s mighty hard to keep a secret on a planet with a population of seventeen trillion. Try as you might, words pass around, and as the old adage goes, NOTHING travels faster than bad news.
    And somehow, the Captain-General of the Adeptus Custodes throwing open the Eternity Gate and ordering two Titans to kill whatever’s inside draws attention.
    11/1000s of the year had passed, and even the most adroit Administratum Adept had given up trying to contain the damage. Hundreds of pilgrims had noticed the commotion as they traveled the Path of the Sacred Pilgrimage to the Gate, and even the Custodes quietly imprisoning or liquefying the witnesses hadn’t contained the information fully. The entire planet was abuzz with the knowledge that something had gone UTTERLY wrong in the Hall of the Golden Throne. The Captain-General himself had already committed suicide by disembowelment, much to the horror of the rest of the High Lords. Now, they gathered to try and contain the situation before the entire Imperium Collapsed.

    ATTENDING (all representatives referred to by title):
    Administratum Master
    Lord High Inquisitor
    Grand Provost Marshal
    Astronomican Master
    Parternoval Envoy
    Grand Master Assassinorum
    Grand Master Telepath
    Lord Commander Militant, Guard
    Lord High Admiral, Navy
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)21:41 No.14758252
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)21:45 No.14758283
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    >this thread
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)21:45 No.14758285
    Ecclesiarch: Were the news not delivered by one of our own, and confirmed by his colleague, I would not believe it. Our Emperor is taken from us.
    Grand Master Telepath: Master [of the Astronomican], is the holy light disturbed?
    Master of the Astronomican: No. We are guided by His hand even in His absence. He must persist elsewhere.
    Paternoval Envoy: Agreed. I am told my fellow Navigators can still see and hear the Astronomican.
    Grand Master Telepath: One of my astropaths has informed me that he sensed an impossibly powerful Warp presence streaming for Cadia mere hours after the beast appeared in the Hall of the Throne. Mere hours after that, in turn, I am informed by a panicked astropath on Cadia itself that a massive Warp beast appeared in the parade ground of the kasr where the Lord Castellan was holding an emergency meeting. Then, less than a day later, a Force Recon sergeant sights Abbadon being crushed by an angry beast, who then spoke to the Sergeant as the Emperor.
    Lord Commander Militant: I received an identical report. The Sergeant is in custody, while one of Creed’s sanctionites watches him for Warp contamination.
    Fabricator-General: And this…beast. Did it fit the description of the one that appeared before the Custodes?
    Grand Master Telepath: Perfectly. *Mass consternation*
    Inquisitor *faintly*: Why should it be true?
    Chartist Captain: Pardon?
    Inquisitor: Why should it be true? Why would our Holy Emperor bind himself to that…thing? *Silence for several seconds*
    Grand Master Assassinorum: How does it matter? The more important question is not yet answered. Where is he?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)21:48 No.14758311

    >Why would our Holy Emperor bind himself to that…thing?

    Do they not know of the rule of cool?
    >> Anonymous 04/29/11(Fri)21:52 No.14758351
    Emperasque needs a giant pair of sunglasses
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)21:58 No.14758410
    Meanwhile, in Ulthwe:
    (sorry guys I actually missed this post, it goes right after the Emperasque being >>14756986
    smug )
    Yrric and the others filed in more sedately, gazing at the tableau before them in awe. The gigantic Emperor turned and stared at them, his footfalls shaking the floor with every step. “SO, DO WE HAVE A DEAL? YOU HEAL MY SON BACK UP?”
    Iyanna glanced at the others, catching a few nods. “The Council of the Farseers are in your debt, make no mistake of it. Robute Guilliman will live.”
    “FANTASTIC. NOW, I HAVE SOMEONE ELSE TO FIND, BUT I WON’T BRING HIM HERE. I CAN THINK OF A MUCH MORE SUITABLE PLACE FOR HIM TO WIND UP…” the Emperor trailed off, distracted, before teleporting off into the Warp once more. Macha knelt beside her sister and traced her hand over the soulstone Eldrad had bound to his armor.
    “You’re not the only one who pays their debts, friend…” she whispered to the empty air.
    >> Someone else. !!Qb2aRW+wCPO 04/29/11(Fri)22:14 No.14758543
    New thread:
    >> Anonymous 04/30/11(Sat)01:54 No.14760492
    Are we autosaging?
    We better not be fucking autosaging.

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