!qw2cdBTZAc 04/05/11(Tue)06:12 No.14481147|
"Now, our technologists estimate that after the skull is punctured it takes a few seconds for the person to die."
The kobold with the nail gun has a whitish, rounded mushroom about the size of a drow head. The nail slams into it, crushing the front of it and leaking down the watery interior, pale fungus falling out of it suggestively.
"A few seconds after that happens, that is." You say. "So, naturally, we improved upon it, to make things more exciting during those last few moments while your superior drow brains leak out of your crushed faces."
The technologist presses a button on the side of the contraption, and the fungus explodes, showering everyone with sloppy, wet drippings.
The drow are horrified.
"I heard you sometimes nail a man to a wall and let his own body weight drag him down. I think this is an improvement actually." You say, shrugging.
"Now, truly, I lament that I have to prance in front of you all supposed 'professional soldiers' like some cheap stage villain, much as I enjoy playing the villain." You say, grinning. "I would prefer it much more, in fact, I would respect you, if you showed the same discipline as our own soldiers, who will recite name, rank, and identification number when questioned.
"But no, I have rant and gesticulate, like an actor on a stage, and talk slowly, in order for you people to actually get it through your skulls that we are not a people to be trifled with." You bonk one on the head with the mallet gently as you say this.
"Now, I am going to give you all one last chance, to at least act with some dignity and professionalism. Are you going to talk, or will we be giving your buddy with a leaky mouth a Kobold headache?"
"You don't scare me. Drow interrogations are much more painful than this primitive display." One of them towards the right says.