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  • File : 1300830691.jpg-(151 KB, 778x1134, bored_wizard.jpg)
    151 KB Omnipotence Quest III Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)17:51 No.14330103  
    Time passes swiftly, and you can’t remember the last time you had so much fun. Even with King Reginald to act as her front piece, news of Laressa’s new status as Duchess and High Inquisitor causes much unrest among the nobility. This /nobody/ snapped up one of the most prestigious positions in the kingdom overnight? And then was given jurisdiction to purge the other nobles? Ludicrous! Unprecedented! A woman, and elf to boot! Why doesn’t she return to the elven kingdoms where her kind belongs rather than meddling in human affairs? Such is the sentiment at first.

    Laressa, for her part, seems to have anticipated a smooth takeover. When feelings against her crop up, however, action is swift. Arranging personal meetings with all nobles of rank under the pretense of “Inquiries into vampiric nature” she is quickly granted access to the heads of all the noble families arrayed against her. A quick drawing of blood into a “magical, vampire identifying container” is all she needs. Of course, a special sanctified knife must be used for fear of corruption... one by one, the nobles turn from her most vocal foes to her staunchest supporters, ostensibly due to seeing her devotion to the kingdom first-hand.

    During one such testing, however, the insistence by one of the nobles to have the knife magically scanned beforehand reveals that mortals, at least, are completely unable to detect any sort of enchantment upon it. Well, you suppose that makes sense. What you do isn’t magic per-se, after all. For her part Laressa simply smiled at the demand and let it be done, apparently having verified this already when you were busy elsewhere.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)17:52 No.14330110
    Overall you consider this a forgivable -- and honestly quite interesting -- oversight considering the number of times she has taken over a kingdom. There are other threats, of course, your long experience in these matters spotting a few in their infancy even now. You give an incorporeal smile as you remember the first time you tried your hand. Sure you can look back to laugh at the foolish lack of foresight NOW, but using the Eye of Udr and raising an invincible undead army to conquer Evenia seemed like such a /good/ idea at the time. Simultaneous crusade by all paladin orders? Adventurer magnet? Peasant insurgency against corpses too stupid to fight without direct commands? Psssh, what are those?

    You still sometimes unintentionally manifest the forearm scar Renthus the Bold gave you as he hacked the blasted thing from your hands.

    Ah, good times. But back to your elf. Noble unrest not only contained but turned to an advantage, she sets about the more mundane task of slipping into her new lifestyle. Institution of an “advisory council” once per week where all high nobles and the king meet to discuss policy. Assignation of no less than fifty Inquisitors under her, all of which must undergo a ‘swearing in’ involving being cut with her dagger. Movement of staff and wardrobe she had commissioned prior to her new castle, along with roughly a quarter of the royal treasury and more than a little of Garrick’s liquid assets.

    The castle Belgat, for its part, is an ancient and highly defensible structure set into the side of a mountain. The soaring spires and graceful -- yet extremely strong -- free-standing ramparts and bridges between towers suggests magical craftsmanship at the hands of an ancient and powerful empire, an opinion only reinforced by the ‘bottomless’ moat around it. You determine it to be only around seven miles deep, but it’s the thought that counts. That and mortal eyes being unable to see a thrown torch all the way at the bottom.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)17:52 No.14330119
    Thus you watch and wait. It has been a very, very, very long time since you last took so close an interest in any being, and it proves to be an intriguing endeavour. So many little mannerisms that get lost when observing from afar. Laressa eats the meat pies from the vendor who operates the third stall on the left in market street, going there every day for lunch despite having a professionally trained chef in her employ. Always cautious, she passes her hand with the poison detection ring over it before eating it. Always reckless, she then /rapidly/ fans it in front of her mouth after the first bite. Heh.

    She also uses her new status and wealth to visit operas and choruses twice a week, always sitting in the front row with her eyes closed and a smile on her face. Apparently a patron of the arts, she even once stopped her carriage to pick up a peasant girl singing on the side of the road. You followed as she ordered the driver to a prestigious college of music just outside the city limits and paid for the girl’s enrollment. Two months later she attended the girl’s first public concert, something of a rousing success from the commentary you heard afterward.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)17:55 No.14330141
    Laressa awakes at five in the morning, never more than five minutes off. Servants are summoned and she is washed, dressed, and her hair trimmed to be perfectly even with her jawline. Dismissing the servants, she draws three white candles from the drawer the servants keep stocked and places them on her dresser. After lighting, she stands silently for a few minutes and then sings in elvish, alternating daily between several ballads that fell out of favor two centuries ago. Then, breakfast and a day of work before returning home only after night has fallen. A personal check of the entire castle’s defenses and tour of the guards and maidstaff (hardly required when having the magically-enforced loyalty of every one of them) she retires to the dining room to eat alone, eschewing even the company of her omnipresent half-orc bodyguard. Instead she sits at the head of the dining hall’s grand table, wrapped in silence.

    On occasion your elf will attend a noble’s feast or soiree; oddly never hosting herself and never mingling comfortably when she does attend, despite many attendees being under her command. Instead, she stands in silence on the balcony, nursing a glass of whatever alcoholic beverage has been provided and relying on the occasional visit from her noble minions to keep her appraised of budding plots among the lesser gentry.

    Her prior life appears much the same, all of her new appointments or favors going to peasants or minions of merit without sign of nepotism or undue favor. No invitations are sent to friends or family, and she remains aloof from the new explosion of suitors both noble and otherwise. Should they press the issue, she delights in verbally vivisecting them in front of their friends and family. Neither does she favor any of the staff or minions under her control, male or female, turning instead to her own comforts over those of another. Pathos, or safety? Another drawn close is two more hands to watch for blades, after all.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)17:55 No.14330148
    One thing that never changes, however, is her ritual before bed. Laressa first summons her chambermaids and has them first thoroughly bathe then dress her in a plain robe. After dismissing them and ordering her half-orc to wait outside she moves to an adjacent room kept locked and heavily warded, able to be opened only by a key she now wears around her neck at all times. Inside stands a black marble alter, threaded with gold veins and adorned with a red velvet cloth laced with silver embroidery around the edges. Both, you note with amusement, reminiscent of the “office” you created before; black marble walls laced with gold and a red velvet rug threaded with silver.

    After ensuring the door is sealed and the wards around the room are in place once more, she places the two daggers you bestowed upon it and lights the candles. Kneeling and closing her eyes, Laressa bows her head and clasps her hands in her lap she recites two sentences, always the same. “Great Lord, I thank you for the gifts given me and hope my actions have not disappointed you. I ask that should you hear me and, though I know not who or what you are, to speak again in the future.” After waiting between five or ten minutes she then stands, collects her daggers, and blows out the candles before exiting the room, once again ensuring it to be both physically and magically sealed before stripping off the robe and climbing into bed.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)17:56 No.14330161
    Six months to the day after her “Grand Feast”, pleased by her actions and amused by her words, you decide a more active role could indeed be more interesting. Silently materializing behind her in standard pre-ascension form, you garb yourself in your favorite robes of black and gold whilst clasping hands behind your back. Breathless and motionless, it is time to wait.

    You do not need to wait long. After around seven minutes she stands and retrieves the daggers. Sheathing them, she turns and lays eyes upon you for the first time in over a half a year.

    “OH GODS!” she shrieks, jumping back and tumbling over the marble altar, knocking one of the candles to the stone floor before coming up in a fighting stance with daggers ready and teeth bared. One second. Two. Three. Then your form finally registers. Her eyes widening, Laressa quickly straightens and re-sheathes her daggers. “M-my apologies, Great One. I had thought myself alone and meant no offense.”, she offers, now slightly pale.

    You dip your head in a single nod before giving a faint smile. “Hello, Laressa. I believe you desire to speak with me.”

    She returns the gesture and swallows mightily before speaking, “Yes, I would... would like that very much. Do you desire to sit or, ah, there are no chairs here,” she hurriedly looks around, “would you, um, like me to have some brou -- err, bring some in or...?” she trails off, apparently waiting to hear your reply.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)17:57 No.14330167
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    >Hey, I wonder what's on 4chan today
    >Mon Visage

    Reading eagerly.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)17:59 No.14330199
    Part 1: http://archive.easymodo.net/tg/thread/14304400
    Part 2: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/14309655/
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)17:59 No.14330204
    Nah, let's float in the air. Sitting according to gravity is so boring...
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:01 No.14330218
    What does she want to speak to me about, by the by?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:02 No.14330229
    Anyone else here except us three?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:08 No.14330320
    Aw fuck yeah. I've been keeping up in the archives and just happened across this active thread.

    Seconding this. Don't offer the same deal to Laressa.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:09 No.14330327
    Conjure an invisible floating chair to sit on, because sitting on air is better than just floating. Listen to the elf's petty concerns while our mind wanders on the subject of a hero to oppose her and the gladiator.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)18:10 No.14330341
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    >go on and on about the warding
    >say she leaves her bodyguard outside
    >"hey anyone here but the three of us?"
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:12 No.14330366
    I for one thought he was talking about people participating in the thread.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:12 No.14330369
    Sit quietly upon a chair of wind and await her reply.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:14 No.14330382
    Laugh and summon a couple of chairs. Nothing too fancy, just comfortable solid chairs. Then sit down and gesture her to the other chair.

    "I've actually been watching your progress. I missed the bit before the feast, other business called me, but ever since... I asked for a show and, well, (three slow claps before continuing) I must say I'm impressed. You're doing better than I did the first time around. Granted, you also had a bit of a better start."

    Look at her approvingly "Well, so far, so good. I'm curious as to what your next move is, expansion? Or do you intend to secure your position here? See a bit of the world? Tell me, what's next on your agenda. Or don't tell me, I might have a bit of fun trying to figure it out on my own. Just two things: your little ritual, well I'm flattered, but I'm not exactly omnipresent. I'll only see something like that if I happen to pop in to check on your progress. Also, despite what you may think; I'm not a god, a friend, or a safety net. I am an opportunity, what you do with my gifts; success or failure, is you and you alone."
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:19 No.14330432

    Seconded. Gravity is for chumps.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:21 No.14330460

    Stop trying to write OPs quest, you thundering asscunt
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:27 No.14330531

    >Actually respond like the OP wanted.
    >Get yelled at for writing a response.

    Dude really? The only other 'response' was FUCK GRAVITY.

    We're supposed to be the guy. That means we're allowed to do more than say something incredibly vague about a course of action we might take.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:37 No.14330636
    Omnipotence quest! FUCK YEAR!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:39 No.14330663

    >write out OPs response for him
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:46 No.14330766
    rolled 11 = 11


    No, I wrote out a possible thing for us to say.

    You know, the character? That we're playing? And therefore control?

    i never said shit about how anything in the universe might react to what we, the players. would be doing under such a response. Note that there is absolutely nothing there except for the direct words and actions of the character we have direct and complete control over.

    That is what the players do. My suggested action is more detailed than some, but it is no way overbearing, hijacking, or inappropriate.

    Seriously, let's just get the OP to weigh in on this, since you seem to incapable of logical thought.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:47 No.14330778

    >Put noko in e-mail field.

    >Get dice

    What the hell is been up with 4chan for the last week?
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)18:48 No.14330794
    You float into the air and sit, simultaneously causing the air around you to shimmer in the outline of a chair. “Have a seat,” you gesture to the altar, “and tell me what you desire to speak of. I am not a deity ‘on call’, to respond to every being who begs an audience.”

    Situating herself on the altar, Laressa temporarily freezes at the second part of your comment before making a few final adjustments and responding. “I apologize, then, Great One. Ah, do you have a... name? Or title that I could call you?” You merely stare down at her and wait. “I- I see. Well, I have been wondering if my actions so far have pleased you. You asked nothing for the... gifts... and were rather vague with what you wished to see happen. I find such generosity, ah, somewhat odd.” She holds up her hands briefly, as if to ward off commentary, “I understand that your motives are your own and you need not explain, but I am... curious. It is not often a god deigns to speak with mortals, after all.” At the last part her downcast and hooded eyes flick up to your face, a piercing gaze that hardly needs millennia of experience to classify as searching for something. After a pause, she continues, “Nor the Demon Lords, Faerie Kings, or Elements Incarnate.”

    After a minute or so she relaxes her gaze and shrugs, “Whatever your motives, I learned early in life that nothing comes free. You mentioned my actions being a show, I can hardly be a good character without knowing the script, can I?”
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)18:54 No.14330858
    >Oh, and this is "wat do?"
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:55 No.14330866
    We're not a god, a demon, a faerie, or an elemental. We're just BORED. Tell her to cut out her groveling and just get on with it.

    Sometimes things don't happen for a reason.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:56 No.14330877
    Tell her that I'm more of a scientist than a playwright and I don't want to orchestrate her life, I'm just giving her what I think she needs to do what she wants.

    More of a scientist than a playwright
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)18:57 No.14330882
    Tell her to consider it improv, as long as she puts what we gave her to good use.

    Don't clarify what we are, but don't deride her worship either. Let her wonder, it might make her do interesting things later trying to find out.

    Offer a small boon, as long as we're here. Maybe answer any question she can think of about the world? Information is power, after all.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:02 No.14330917
    "You have never heard of the saying, Never look a gift horse in the mouth?"

    The less she knows about our motivations the better. This is the final time we see her ourselves. We go under guises and control her that way if we wish to talk to her again.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:05 No.14330938
    "You spent half a year with an altar to ask me why I gave you gifts? Are you having.. second thoughts? Perhaps I should take them back. I find little patience for those who are ungrateful."
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:12 No.14331000
    Lets curse a few people to be followed by swarms of BEEEEES. Everywhere. They won't sting them or anything. They just follow them around. Everywhere. No matter what.
    Naturally, they are immune to all harm.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:27 No.14331132
    Stare at her for a long moment. "There is no script. You are no character. That is the point." Pause until she starts to talk, then interrupt. "I have lived a very long time, by the standards of immortals. My greatest hope for you is that you provide something I have never before seen. You likely won't, even if you make it your life's goal; so little is done that has never been done before, somewhere. Nevertheless, I will continue idly watching you until I grow bored, at which point, satisfied that I could write the end to your story with little effort, I will either move on or introduce new elements in the hope that it becomes more original. Does that answer your question?"
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)19:28 No.14331147
    Resting an elbow upon the arm of the ‘chair’, you lean into your closed fist as you gaze at her. “I think I mentioned before that attempts to measure me will prove fruitless.” At your comment she straightens and begins to reply, but you cut her off, “Gods, demons, faeries or other, you will not earn anything by plying me with barbed questions.” By this point she is white as a sheet. “Nonetheless! I am pleased with your actions so far. Consider this less a play and more... improvisation. Since you are so keen to have a price for your new toys, let us say the price is risk, with success after taking those risks up to you.”

    For a few seconds you let silence fill the air before speaking again, “I think that I shall grant you a boon. One answer, to any question you can think of. You took a large risk by taking over the kingdom, and you were successful. Consider this another investment in the hopes to see such cunning again.”

    Surprised, she blinks a few times. Clearly she was expecting something else, perhaps some punishment for questioning. After working her mouth soundlessly for a moment, however, she speaks, “Thank you, Great One. I would know, if I may... what is presently the greatest threat to my power?”

    A few moments of thought, but not many. The hero is in the future, for now there is only one true threat; “Presently the greatest threat to your power is a man named Ugantu, leader of the slave rebellion on Kaza. He does not yet have plans to move against you, however, being busy consolidating his own rule.”

    At your reply she knots her eyebrows and nods, gaze falling to the floor for a few moments before once again smiling and looking up. “My thanks, Great One, for your generosity. I wonder if I could... presume to ask you to share a meal? My cook is, well, he is very good and is able to create dishes from all over the world. I know that, ah, you likely don’t... need food but, um....” she trails off into silence.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)19:29 No.14331152
    >sorry about the wait, fucking posting problems
    >> CA 03/22/11(Tue)19:30 No.14331163
    You know... Back in the days of Warcraft3, I played custom games online a lot, and one of my favs was a game that attempted to recreate D&D. Some players would be PCs, and a few would be the DMs, and the DMs could do damn near anything and were supposed to make adventures for the PCs. Once when I was a DM, I picked a player at random and created three seals, each the size of a car, made them invulnerable and directed them to follow the PC around until the ends of time. And thus they pleaded to me as the Seal God to remove these banes on their existence and dignity.

    Good times.

    Polite sage for offtopic.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:32 No.14331186

    Smile, and then just vanish.

    No more words. Then go see what the pirate guy is up to. It's been a good six months.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:33 No.14331189
    Hmmmm, do we need to eat? Do we find it enjoyable even if we don't?
    And more importantly, just how good is this cook?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:34 No.14331198
    We also need to direct our attentions to finding a hero. So let's make it a short check-up.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:36 No.14331213
    Smile indulgently. "You may presume. And my answer: When you are confident that you have arranged for a meal which I will genuinely enjoy, call and I will come. Don't be wrong, and know that my standards are high indeed."

    I am interested to see how she'd go about making this happen. And if she succeeded, that would be nice.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)19:36 No.14331216
    You do not need to eat, and though you have sampled nearly everything in existence you do occasionally enjoy a meal. You actually had one while in Kaza looking for Ugantu.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:38 No.14331241
    Ah, good. Now, just how good is this cook? I know we have a hero to find but if it turns out this guy has some kind of Michelin Star we'll kick ourselves for not having some
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:39 No.14331251
    Welp /tg/, the question is, how long do we really want to stay around the elf? Do we have any more business with her?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:39 No.14331258
    How pathetic, the elf is trying to make a connection with us. Tell her to try again after she's achieved immortality at the least.

    We have things to do, like finding a hero. The others already have a time advantage (though some might argue that the hero is supposed to be the underdog...), so we'd best be moving towards that goal.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:41 No.14331280
    Is.. is she trying to be our waifu?
    >> CA 03/22/11(Tue)19:41 No.14331282
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    Haha oh my god. She's ignoring suitors because she wants to be with us. How sad. Hahahaha.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:41 No.14331288
    Nah, let's get out of here. She's beneath our concern. You don't have dinner with your setpieces.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:42 No.14331296
    She want's to be in our favour and be sure of it.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:44 No.14331314
    While I understand how utterly ridiculous it is that she's pining for us, at the same time I would find it more amusing to leave her thinking that she's got a chance at that than I would to brush her off. I mean, if we wanted ourselves to NOT be a character in this tale, we could have just invisibly altered her weapons and suddenly given her the knowledge of what they do, without actually appearing and speaking at all. So we might as well roll with it.

    This and then leave.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:45 No.14331324
    We don't have any more business with the elf, I think its time we went looking for a hero or two
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:49 No.14331347
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    Seduce and impregnate her, then bugger off and never reappear to her or your god-child

    chaos ensues
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:50 No.14331359
    This, but we reserve the right to check in anyways.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:54 No.14331376
    I think we reserve this for AFTER she's conquered the world. The irony of her having the power and authority to do anything but being utterly unable to locate us, let alone anything more extensive, would be amusing.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:57 No.14331400
    This post seems rather sill
    ....Gentleman, I think we have the first proposal for a hero
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)19:58 No.14331404
    Not gonna lie, read this as Impotence Quest.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)20:01 No.14331444
    Not if this man has any say in the matter >>14331347
    >> tha/tg/uy 03/22/11(Tue)20:09 No.14331513
    I concur, the more she thinks she actually has a chance with us, the more likely she is to continue on.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)20:09 No.14331518
    You lift your head in surprise, and raise an eyebrow. “Oh? My, my. It seems you have already presumed to ask. I shall even deign to answer.” You dispel the chair around you and gently float to the stone floor, slowly walking closer until you stand only a few feet away as she rises in turn. “Very good, I am afraid, is not good enough. I shall not dine with you.” Laressa looks slightly crestfallen, but you continue, “At least not this night. I have exquisite taste, and a pallate that has sampled more than any mortal has dreamed. A meal fit for a king is mere scraps for dogs. But. Should you come across a chef capable of crafting true delicacies, suitably finery, and sufficient entertainment to please me... speak as you have the past few months, and I will see and hear.” You move closer, “Remember, however... my standards are high indeed.”

    With that you vanish, instantly and completely. Laressa, shaking, slides down the side of the altar and leans back against it. After a moment she gently thumps her head against it three times, then produces an ironic grin. “Apparently we have at least one thing in common, then.”

    She quickly sets the altar room to rights once more, then after locking it and shedding her robe climbs into bed, falling into the slumber of one truly exhausted.

    The next morning a confused cook stumbles across the drawbridge of Castle Belgat, escorted by two guards carrying his supplies. He hadn’t even the time to make breakfast.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)20:15 No.14331566
    oh no, she actually does :|
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)20:19 No.14331615
    What can I say? I facepalmed during the first thread, it was like anon had a laser beam directed into my brain and was sucking out and implementing exactly the right combination of actions to get this outcome while dealing with her.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)20:30 No.14331737

    Let's check on our other holdings then, shall we?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)20:31 No.14331753
    Well... shall we see about our Hero, then? We need to go find somebody with a moral compass and mold them into a combatant.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)20:35 No.14331810
    This girl is adorable. I like her.

    Anyway. Let's check on our pirate king first, then contemplate what we need in a hero. I still like the concept of the completely normal kid blessed with limitless quantities of dumb luck. The happiness-lich was a good one, too, where the more people who love him (and the stronger the love) the more powerful he grows, so even the most sociopathic, power-hungry man would be constantly driven to do things which would improve his self-image and cultivate adoration in others.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)20:35 No.14331812
    Can do, but will take a few hours. One or two for the writing, and probably 30 mins to an hour for dinner.

    What are you looking for?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)20:37 No.14331831
    Erm. Just image, not self-image. Silly me.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)20:38 No.14331842
    I see no reason to discourage it. It could make things more interesting for us to see just how far she goes and what she accomplishes.

    I suggest a quick look see at our other pawn to see if he's used the last 6 months well and then perhaps it's time to start working on a hero.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)20:42 No.14331882
    I'm curious - what was in the band of heroes that tried to stop us from becoming omnipotent? I'm kind of interested if the pirate or elf could deal with what we dealt with long ago but that might be boring as well.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)21:02 No.14332110
    They would crush these two like bugs. We are talking Gilgamesh, Hercules, and Merlin levels, at the least. Not a good match currently.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:04 No.14332138
    Yeah, that's a little overkill then. Perhaps a much further challenge for the pirate or elf, depending on who does better.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:13 No.14332247
    Let's give the fired cook a quest of his own. We'll tell him about the finest dishes, the most exquisite spices, the rarest of flavors, and where he can learn how to make them, and then let him decide if he wants to become the greatest cook ever.

    Then we offer him a little help, if he pledges that once he becomes the best, that he never work for Laressa again.

    We of course don't appear as ourselves, we pick another guise for this.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:21 No.14332320
    I propose an Empiricist philosopher hero, whose only purpose (and skill) will be to convince whichever BBEG is successful that the universe in which they live is essentially unknowable if it exists at all, and by continuing to live they are willingly trapping themselves in a farce.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:25 No.14332364

    A Socratic hero, nice. Although Socrates actually fought in wars, with spear and shield.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:26 No.14332380
    I suggest we find a classical hero, unswayed by monetary offers and with true good intentions. But he or she needs to be clever to be able to have a chance. Especially against the elf.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:29 No.14332408
    Aha, so it seems that we have made our first steps in manipulating our two champions against each other.

    I also find Laressa's attempts to impress us amusing. I think she finds our immense power somewhat...alluring.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)21:36 No.14332475
    >Huh, didn't take as long as I thought.

    You’re amused by your elf’s new side, but for now you have other things to consider. With a thought you transition to Kaza and observe the new order. Well, the new chaos to be more precise. Gone are the ordered and gleaming streets of the mage-lord’s town, while likewise vanished are the rings of barges and caravans of slaves. The streets instead run like rivers of people, slaves going to and from their new ‘legitimate’ jobs instead of being herded. They are now all eager to work twice as hard to earn their food rather than have it handed to them by a taskmaster, having traded the lash of hide for that of hunger. Markets remain thriving, losing the slave trade but gaining hundreds of new goods once regulated by the Archlords for being either too dangerous or too horrific to sell. Above it all stand the freed gladiators, forming a new upper class built from the worship they yet have from other slave types. And above that, sitting in the lone remaining tower, is the First Freed himself. Your brute, Ugantu.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)21:37 No.14332480
    Looking inside you are slightly surprised by what you find. The elegant, austere decor has been replaced with hundreds of living plants ringing the room, and vines roping artistically through the column areas. Quite elegantly done, actually, as they now form a sort of walkway up to the dias where the Archlord once stood. Now, instead, sits a huge throne of gold with Ugantu himself sitting upon it. At his back and sides stand two elite gladiators with gidled armor and weaponry, the personal guard of the new ruler. At his feet sits a naked woman with a chain running between Ugantu’s belt and the collar around her neck, the daughter of the Archlord. Her swollen belly and unwavering, glassy stare toward the floor speaks volumes as to her role. Ringing the dias are roughly a dozen men in robes; they are of various ages but none below fourty, and many of them carry large books or sheaves of scrolls.

    One currently stands upon the dias with the First Freed, speaking to him. “-uation with food and water, so the embargo is no threat to the people, Freed One. I believe that they will even fold in time when deprived of the tariff revenues for our ships, they are a mercantile state and rely on such to fund everything else.” Ugantu grunts his assent and scrawls an X on the paper. “See dat it be done, but be makin’ sure dat dey know goin’ ta war be an option we lookin’ forward to, so as not be havin’ a need to do it. Understand what I’m sayin’?” The advisor bows and makes noises of assent before scurrying off and out of the chamber, apparently to do whatever duties he was just assigned.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:41 No.14332517

    Inform him of Laressa's takeover of the kingdom she is located in (I forget the name). Emphasize the idea that A.) She is using the ruling noble class to opress the people and B.) using an item to force people to be subservient to her.

    Those two points should get him riled up enough to begin moving against her. I predict a crusade launched to destroy her percieved tyranny over the land.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:44 No.14332551
    No need to push them to fight each other so soon. Otherwise there's no point of creating a hero to throw into this mix. Besides, I rather have them build up more before so the eventual conflict is longer lasting. Or at least more interesting.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:45 No.14332562

    It's way too soon for that, let them consolidate a little and expand at the expense of their neighbors. Right now it's just what appear to be a couple of regional powers, wouldn't be nearly as interesting as it will be after some conquests.

    We should start thinking about the archetype of our prospective hero, since Vedibere seems to be waiting on us to do anything about that.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:48 No.14332586

    No, not yet.

    We are just going to look around, without being seen, at what else he's done. Seems to me he's doing right by him people, at least for now.

    Once we have a more comprehensive view of what's happening we're going to go and look around for likely hero candidates.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:48 No.14332590

    Ask him this: "Your plaything there, she is the daughter of the former Archlord? What did she personally do to merit such treatment? Or does she get off on this sort of thing? Some people do, after all."
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:50 No.14332614
    Watch the pirate for a couple days. See how he lives his life, what he's done with things. When we're sure we've got a handle on things, we'll leave a letter in his room so that he and no one else finds it.

    I'd like to get more information on what he's done first, though, and what his current goals and ambitions are. If he's not pushing himself ever upward in power, we'll need to give him a nudge. If he is, we can do something more obscure.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:52 No.14332639
    I thought we were trying to be more subtle with how we dealt with them and limit contact? I assumed the only reason we really talked to the elf is because she did amuse us with her move to take over her area and she got a boon out of it.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:53 No.14332659

    We shouldn't communicate with him directly.

    At all. At least not yet.

    Remember, subtle is fun.

    Out of curiosity, do we know of anybody else like us? Omnipotent and bored?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:54 No.14332673

    We may or may not form a closer relationship with the elf.

    All of our other champions we plan to keep at arms length.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:55 No.14332678

    We don't have to ask as ourselves, guys. We can make a visiting diplomat or whatever ask for us.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:55 No.14332682
    If you're suggesting a cosmic game of chess between our pawns and those of someone else, it sounds awesome. But that would involve bringing someone into the quest with comparable power to us, which is undesirable, so let's not do it until/unless this whole plot arc runs its course.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:55 No.14332686

    And as much in the dark as reasonably possible.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)21:57 No.14332701

    Maybe something to keep in mind in the future. It's just something I was wondering about in general, OP did hint at the fact that we weren't the only ones like us in the first couple of threads.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)22:00 No.14332746
    There are no other omnipotent entities, as far as you are aware of. You are not omniscient after all. You've encountered nothing to suggest there is another, however, and long ago put into place measures preventing anyone new from attaining equal status.

    You have met a few omniscient beings. As a rule they generally just spoke of how they knew you would come and knew you would go after growing bored with them. What do you know, they were right!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:02 No.14332764

    We could even appear to him in a dream and ask.

    In fact, I'd like to ask him in a dream, and then ask the girl if she's happy with her lot. And if she isn't, offer her a way out: service under Laressa, if Laressa will have her.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:06 No.14332816
    I think people are placing too much interest in the slave girl out of sympathy as opposed to out of concern that Ugantu is going to just another boring overlord- mid boos material for our hero.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:08 No.14332836

    Curious as to why we might care.


    Would it be possible to find one of the omniscient being and ask them if there were anybody else like us?

    As to what we do next, I favor the 'investigate and don't get involved at all' approach.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:08 No.14332843

    If we put the girl with Laressa, it will give Ugantu a reason to want to fight her. It will also (likely) cloud his judgement, and will give Laressa a companion that we've personally vouched for. It'll be good for Laressa, good for the girl, good for the baby, and great for making an entertaining drama.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:09 No.14332852
    Sow the seeds of political strife!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:10 No.14332865
    I care not for the plaything but I just had the greatest idea.

    Have the unborn child be the hero.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:11 No.14332889
    No wait what that's a fucking horrible idea.

    Doesn't even make any fucking sense. What do we know ugantu even cares about this bitch? And we don't want conflict so soon.

    We don't even know if Ugantu is good material after his explosive start.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:15 No.14332941

    He probably doesn't care about the girl, she's just a plaything. But he will care about his unborn baby.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:16 No.14332963

    Actually He's something of an anti-villain if you look at what he's done so far.

    And doing quite good.


    To hell with the slave girl. We're checking progress, seeing how things are going, and then going on a hero hunt.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:18 No.14332985
    For our hero: I like the idea of the well liked lich. I doubt we have seen one of those before
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:20 No.14333010

    Yeah, happiness lich is probably the best Idea I've seen in a while.

    Even if he doesn't turn into a huge hero it would be interesting to see how he goes about being well liked.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:21 No.14333021
    I think the unborn child should be a character that helps or hinders the hero in overthrowing Ugantu at most.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:22 No.14333033
    rolled 3 = 3


    I personally like the idea of a completely bugfuck insane paladin cleave-smite-later-rinse-repeat type character.

    Hey, why can't we do both? Make a well-liked Lich, then send a smite-happy paladin after him.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:26 No.14333084
    So she'll 'disappear' and go into hiding in the elfs new digs. The pirate might not have much reason to eliminate her otherwise, and blood ties are the universal motivator.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:27 No.14333093

    He's not a well liked lich, it's someone who gains immortality as long as at least one person likes him, and gets more and more powerful the more people do, and the stronger the emotion.

    So if a paladin came across a town with an extremely well loved hero who went out of his way to do right by other people..... I honestly can't see how he'd have a problem with that.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:31 No.14333129

    Ah, I misunderstood then.

    I support the happiness-lich idea fully.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:37 No.14333193

    What we need to do there is find a mage. One of lesser renown and not afraid to wield a sword.

    Give him a desire to live forever.

    Give him the knowledge of this magic.

    Watch him inevitably become God-Emperor that you fucks never caught the implied reference to.

    I still support the idea, but COME ON. HOW DID YOU NOT SEE THAT!?!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:39 No.14333223

    Is there an archmage that survived Ugantu sacking the city? We could confront him regarding his all-to-real mortality and powerlessness against a savage horde of slaves. He can regain his former influence and more, and you wouldn't even need to hurt anyone...
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:41 No.14333236

    Nah, fuck the Arch-Magi. We want a fairly weak dude HUNDREDS of miles away at the minimum.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)22:42 No.14333249
    You watch Ugantu talk with ministers for a while longer before growing bored. He might not be able to read or even write his name, but he’s not stupid. The ministers bring all manner of problems before him, from practical solutions to newly freed slaves who can’t find work raiding grain silos (Keel dem an’ post da bodies up ‘round da tings. Been goin’ on for weeks an’ dey not learnin’ from bein’ throne in jail.) to... slightly revolutionary ideas regarding proposed alliances. (Da preencesses best be havin’ da hips to bear many sons den. Accept dem all, an’ de first three ta get wit child get ta be queens.)

    Fortunately, Ugantu is decisive enough to make short work of it all, and seems to value his fun almost as much as you. After dealing with the last advisor he orders preparations for a grand feast to be held and triple rations for everyone in the city to celebrate. Afterward he heads down to the arena, which you are honestly surprised is still standing. Hearing that the First Freed will personally be coming to the arena you note that tens of thousands begin flooding the titanic structure, often paying well over half of their weekly salary in admission to get in. Assuming he will be watching the fights like everyone else, you are caught off-guard when he takes the field himself against five mage-knights in armor. The combat is brutal but not quite in the way you had expected, with Ugantu cleaving through all five in a matter of minutes. Apparently “warmed up” enough afterward, he then engages in various contests with other gladiators. No fatalities this time, but you couldn’t tell it from the way the crowds swell with cheers after every time he is victorious.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)22:43 No.14333255
    Hours later and with the crowds filing out, Ugantu makes a personal appearance at the arena treasury to get a count of the day’s funds. Impressively, he earned almost a month’s operating funds for the entire government with a few hours of work. Taking his leave, he returns to the tower and announces the beginning of the feast, joining his dining gladiator bodyguards and advisors in wild revelry.

    Eventually, well past midnight, most of the partygoers are either passed out or have retired. Taking this as a sign, he gives a yank to the chain on his belt and leads the archlord’s daughter (you’ve only heard to her referred to as ‘girl’ or ‘woman’ all day) up the stairs to his -- and apparently her -- bedroom. She certainly doesn’t appear to enjoy what follows, but it also seems she has also long since given up struggling. After Ugantu finishes and falls asleep, she unsheathes one of the daggers from his discarded clothes and futilely attempts to stab him in his sleep. After only a token effort with the dagger rebounding from his undamaged skin, she sheathes it once more before curling up and falling into sleep herself, apparently not having expected success in the first place.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)22:43 No.14333263
    Having seen all you need, you depart and float through the rest of the city. Petty crime seems common, but you do note a heavy gladiatorial presence keeping violent or major offenses mostly in check. Near the market there is an enormous explosion in a warehouse, but little to no panic and the firefighters treat it as simply another night. Looking farther abroad, you note that even at night the tradeships from both here and afar ply the waters constantly, bringing with them valuable goods to be bought and sold at the now completely restriction-free market that Kaza boasts.

    Overall, however, you are disappointed. There is no true growth here. No expansion. His taking of the city was dramatic, even inspiring, but his ambition seems to have stopped there. If he is to be molded into what you desire... you will need to intervene, somehow.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:44 No.14333270

    Some know-nothing apprentice in a podunk little backwaters institution who dreams of greater things? Yeah, that would probably serve our purposes better.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:46 No.14333296

    Move the girl, and her unborn baby, into Laressa's protection. Render the pirate-king impotent, and sterile. If he wants his dynasty to continue, he'll need to find the girl.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:47 No.14333309
    i still like the idea of making our own bugfuck insane paladin.

    take the idea that was in the first thread. find some terribly repressive religious country and raising some random fuckstick to massive power and tell him that he is to lead his country to a new era that will cause him to vanquish a great evil, but first he must root out the evil that has taken over his own country
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:48 No.14333317

    Hmm, I would've expected someone like him to move into a crusade to free other slaves. Since he doesn't seem to be interested in doing this on his own now, we can prod him into attacking Laressa's domain like I suggested earlier.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:49 No.14333328
    We find a nullified/deposed mage and promise him a return to his former power... but restrict him to necromantic, masochistic, or any other form of magicks considered ghastly and wholly uncivilized by polite wizardry.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:51 No.14333352


    A use for her, and a reason. Nothing so direct, just something discreet.
    Turn her into the best cook in the world. Or several worlds, just to add spice.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:52 No.14333357

    Well, we did give him the power to see what he'd do with it.

    This is what he chose to do.

    Give him weird dreams, about some nearby place (not where Laressa is) where bad shit is happening. Bad shit along the lines of oppression and slavery would be best. Then visions of conquest, of liberation.

    Make sure he has similar dreams for a week or two until he decides to at least find out more. Make sure there's something appropriate to the visions for him to find. Make it clear that there is some fucked up shit in the world, where people suffer like he did. See what he does with this information.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:53 No.14333368
    Give the slave girl her freedom for the price of the unborn child. Take the child when it is born and give it to the elf. See what happens as she can't kill the child because she will think it will offend you, yet she has no motherly instinct. Also then the child might face his father one day. Big reveal after one kills the other. See what happens then.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:54 No.14333378

    Oh god, that's both amazing and brilliant.

    Let's not do the impotence thing though, but I like the cook idea.
    >> tha/tg/uy 03/22/11(Tue)22:55 No.14333384
    This of course would operate under the assumption that he would care (and I personally doubt he will). At which point we would need to induce a direct threat to his little 'paradise'.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:56 No.14333391

    Combine these for best results, then move onto

    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)22:56 No.14333394
    I appreciate the grand plans guys, really I do. But something concrete and immediate is what is needed. How about after you list your awesome idea you give two or three steps to be conducted in the next post, hmmm?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:57 No.14333406

    He'll care hopefully because he sees a chance at a bigger better prize. If not, we can think of something else. If nothing else he should be curious about the dreams.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)22:59 No.14333426
    First, set him up with dreams of injustice committed somewhere, lands that he can conquer.

    When he leaves, arrange for the plaything to escape. Also, she's now the best cook in the world.

    Ugantu is also now sterile.

    Sit back and watch what happens when he gets back.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:01 No.14333448

    I think I'd rather see her as a potential hero, but her righteous fury would be focused entirely on Ugata, she has no reason to want to fight Laressa.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:01 No.14333451

    Right, dream coaxing, then something more if that doesn't work on Ugantu.

    After he starts down the road of conquest, we go do the mage thing laid out like >>14333391

    Laid out.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)23:02 No.14333454
    >When he leaves, arrange for the plaything to escape.
    She's collared and connected to his belt with a chain. The only time you saw him take it off was when he was fighting in the arena. Well, and right before coitus, but that's not exactly ideal escape time either.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:03 No.14333467

    1) Bring the girl into your office, and interview her. Name, her thoughts on the situation, get to know her a little.
    2) Offer her an escape, on the condition that she accepts training on how to be the best cook ever, and that she work for Laressa, if Laressa will have her, and that the baby is to be raised by Laressa (and her, if Laressa will allow it) when it is born.
    3) If she accepts, make her immune to Laressa's mind control knife, and make the baby as invincible as his (or her) father.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:04 No.14333482
    I wouldn't think mr big bad pirate would take her on his conquest fleet, which is what I meant.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:05 No.14333487
    Maybe she could wound him...during the act.

    After all, love is a battlefield!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:05 No.14333493
    No that's terrible and boring and so fucking whiteknight it's painful to even finish reading.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:06 No.14333499

    Let's not do the office thing.

    I do sort of like the idea of just handing her to Laressa, maybe even with a bow attached?

    Give her magic cook powers, and her baby her dad's power and/or some magic, he's also descended from arch-mage stock.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)23:06 No.14333507
    I'll just go ahead and tell you that you should think up and post the "something else" too before I bother writing anything. No reason. *whistles innocently*

    Ugantu is far from invincible.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:07 No.14333515

    It's attached to his belt and he's asleep. Just have to collar fall off, and spirit her away. Don't make it obvious though.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:08 No.14333519

    We don't give a fuck about the girl, what we want is for Laressa to end up raising that baby. Because it will be hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:11 No.14333547

    Have it come up in the court that said nearby nation is acting like they're making plans to do some bad shit to his kingdom. If he's already curious, then that might make him more so. If he asks where the information was from tell him the mages had some spys abroad and some of them choose to follow him when their old masters went down.

    Think of a good way to not make all this look suspicious.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:12 No.14333556
    >I do sort of like the idea of just handing her to Laressa, maybe even with a bow attached?
    I would be more subtle about that. Laressa will be looking for the world's greatest cook- give the woman incredible talent and an urge to constantly cook better and better things. Make it the only thing that makes her forget all the terrible things that have happened to her, all that really makes her joyful.

    Then set her down about a country away from Laressa. She'll find her eventually, and these schemes need time to cook.

    We could make anyone enslaved anywhere dream of Ugantu, the savior, every 1d10 nights. That would probably put him on the spot to do something- or at least result in slave revolts worldwide and quite possibly massive overpopulation on his islands as anyone who escapes slavery migrates to come see him.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:12 No.14333565

    If he needs more coaxing after that we'll think of something and deal with it then.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:13 No.14333572
    Something else...


    How do you motivate a pirate barbarian king to go do conquering?


    Something that threatens his current power base, perhaps?
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:14 No.14333590

    Combine all of these.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:14 No.14333596
    >Ugantu is also now sterile.
    It would probably enough to make it so that he can only have daughters, except for his one son by the raped chick, who is unmistakably his due to appearance and inherited powers.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:16 No.14333612
    This is better but the child doesn't need any inherited powers. That'd just be bothersome later.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:19 No.14333636

    I like the way you think.


    It's not so much inherited as it is we're giving them to the kid too.

    Unless we do directly otherwise those powers die with him.

    That said, let's give the child powers. With him and his mother immune to knife-shenanigans.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:21 No.14333661
    I think we're far too focused on the girl right now. For the time being, I'd like to look in on Laressa and see what she's up to. She can't devote all her time to looking for the Iron Chef. There are other things to do.

    If she does devote herself to the chef hunt, it'll be a considerable backfire for us, as her expansion will slow down. We need to get Ugata's ass in gear, not slow Laressa down.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:22 No.14333664

    We could make the mother a very, very good cook.

    And the child, the best cook ever. Who is also immune to being surreptitiously stabbed, like papa, but without ship controlling powers.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:25 No.14333689
    The Iron Chef.

    Fucking. Perfect.

    Nations arise and are toppled, all to find the one.

    Only problem is that it'd take a bit of time, but we're eternal so what. Right now the focus is on moving mr pirate so that he's set on a path of conquering, and then starts worrying about the heir.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:31 No.14333744


    "If I can't find the world's greatest chef, I'll MAKE one instead!!" AND SO BEGINS THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE WORLD'S BEST CHEF, FORGED IN IRON.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:32 No.14333759

    Just realized we told her to contact us and gave her absolutely no means to do so.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:35 No.14333775
    Frankly, considering that she's already shown herself to be of the type to nurture talent (remember the peasant girl?) I rather expect her to start founding culinary academies. She'll decide quickly that kicking out her chef was rash, and she won't be able to simply find the best chef- she'll have to either train one, or attract one with something better than mere money, like the opportunity to pass on his skills to adoring students and have worldwide acclaim as the best chef ever. I expect titles and contests in the future as she is eternally discontent with the best efforts of hundreds of skilled chefs.

    That said: It will all still be a sideshow to conquering the world. That is, after all, what we told her to do when we first appeared to her- the dinner date is just a sideshow and she'll know it.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:35 No.14333779
    We told her to pray and we might answer.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:36 No.14333787

    No, just... no.


    Let's not give the kid ship controlling powers, but the rest of the package.

    And make the mother the best cook ever, making it the kid means that it'd take a couple of decades for the whole 'cook' thing to play out. We don't want to take THAT long since it might cause Laressa to Iron chef.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:41 No.14333826
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    Can we fuck with his head? Literally get in there and give him some horrid nightmares? We already told him that he'd be facing the elf, maybe we ought to give him visions of himself failing and dying because he's insufficiently prepared for the conflict, visions that grow worse with every day of idleness. Moving to expand his powerbase and prepare for the oncoming battle disperses the dreams, but any time we feel he's not making sufficient advances they return.

    I like the idea of people seeing him in their dream. What's more, it'd be an interesting method of bringing him to Larissa's attention, since everyone she's stabbed is /technically/ a slave. And possibly give you and interesting way to set them free at inopportune moments.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:43 No.14333843

    That was sort of the plan, to some degree. I kinda like the idea of trying to motivate him with fear instead of greed.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:45 No.14333855
    Greed is worthless to him. He has all he could want right now, and the powerbase to control/maintain it. Fear is the best possible motivator, since it seems he'll not likely react to more altruistic motivations.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:47 No.14333887
    Is OP still here or did he jump ship because our ideas are too boring?

    Which would be a little ironic, I think.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:49 No.14333899
    Yes, that is a problem. If greed won't work, and fear may not work as well as we want it to, what then?

    Do we work off of pride? His pride at being this big hero figure might be what we have to threaten.

    Maybe we could spirit some of the slaves he sold to the Archlord before we empowered him to Laressa, and inform him of their most unfortunate escape!

    Word may reach his people of his earlier betrayal!
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:50 No.14333909

    Hard to say. He takes a long time to write, so he could very well be preparing a book sized update while remaining completely unaware of our current plans.

    In the last thread he ended up posting out this huge thing completely oblivious to how radically our plans had changed in the meantime.
    >> Anonymous 03/22/11(Tue)23:56 No.14333957
    Word of his betrayal may be an interesting plot device, but I'm not sure it'd take as he's the First Freed and whatnot. That's a lot of credibility to blow in one rumor. He's the goddamn first among equals here. I think all he'd have to do to dispel it in the heads of his equals is say "lol nope" and they'd buy it. It might be a good starting point. And if there were proof...
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)23:56 No.14333958
    Knowing that nothing of interest will happen without proper motivation, you return to the tower’s spire where Ugantu and his prize lay. With a mental flick she vanishes, and drawing upon both long experience and cosmic forces you invade her mind during transit. A few alterations and... yes, there. The trauma from these last few months will never fade from this formerly pampered princess’s mind, of that you are sure, and the only way to abate their horror shall be to cook. And cook she shall... talent from aeons past, masters both past and present is poured into her mind, a vessel for your will. Your work complete, you sheathe her in a simple cotton robe and deposit her outside a church in Kardava, a league of city-states across the southern mountains from Laressa’s nation of Mirant. A fair distance away, to be sure, but if your elf is as swift as you hope in her conquests then it should be very reachable before the woman dies of old age.

    Turning back to the issue of the problem dictator, you reach out to a half dozen slave-owning nations across the seas. Lightly touching the minds of their rulers, you impart the idea that slaves, as /property/ need not be treated quite as well as they have been. If they cry out for a savior, so what? None will come for them, and best to make that clear as soon as possible. You then slip into Ugantu’s dreams, showing him images of brutality and repression... horrific sights of abuse and children forced into the arena to die like dogs. Surely this will thrum his heartstrings if anything will.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/22/11(Tue)23:56 No.14333969
    Your work finished, you (metaphorically) sit back and wait. With the morn comes an enraged Ugantu, storming down the stairs from his room and kicking guards awake. “Where be da woman, she dat I took?” The guards simply shake their head, and even the ones on duty outside his chamber all night plead innocence. Frustrated, he strides to his throne and sits before issuing a proclamation, “Find er, an’ kill er. She’ll not be enjoyin’ tha mercy I show in keepin’ her ‘live any longer.” The gladiator-guard salutes, bringing their fists to the hearts, before departing. Their search of the tower and city is, of course, fruitless. By the time they return with the reports, however, Ugantu has calmed and waves them off, saying that the order stands for any who find her.

    The next part of your plan takes time... it is two full weeks before the reports of harsh slave treatment trickle into the adviser’s reports, and then another before they all agree of the breadth and depth of the plight. Ugantu, however, remains unfazed... indeed, he even seems to be sleeping a bit /better/ these days now that the nightmares of others have replaced his own.

    Well, that didn’t go quite as planned. You’re beginning to grow bored with him.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:02 No.14334038
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    Give him nightmares of his people leaving him, of him loosing his power for being an apathetic ruler. Give him dreams of falling low in battle, to far weaker unworthy foes. Give him dreams of his escaped woman laughing over his shallow, unmarked grave, where the First Freed was buried and left for ignoring the plight of his people.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:02 No.14334040
    Scatter the slaves he sold to the archmage across the land.

    Maybe from one source, the rumors of his true purpose before our gifts would be discarded as a simple lie, but from a dozen nations, and all at once?

    He'll have to act, in order to silence them. We didn't give this savage this power just to have him turn into some garden variety dictator. If he won't be prodded into action then we need to shove!
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:04 No.14334063
    Hmm. I liked the concept of other slaves dreaming of him better- powering his expansion by the hope of others kind of press-ganging him into being their savior, rather than relying upon him reacting to them positively. But now that we've killed off tons of them, that's a lot less feasible.

    Oh, well. Slap a curse on him so that as long as he doesn't seek to expand his influence he will be plagued by general misfortune and deformed children, and go make a happiness lich.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:12 No.14334132
    Wouldn't the land of freed slaves notice the oddity in their king and savior not going out to free more slaves? Do they care? Maybe Ugantu will have to suffer revolution for his idleness.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/23/11(Wed)00:15 No.14334159
    They're free and fed, they don't much give a shit about other countries, much less the slaves in those countries.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:29 No.14334304
    Uganta just doesn't show nearly as much promise as Laressa in terms of actually gaining and holding onto power.

    After all, if not for the anti-assassination field, Uganta would already be dead. He has no reason to keep his guard up, because he's actually safer without it.
    In the absolute worst case scenario, we scrap him and look for someone else. For now, let's see if there's any other way to motivate him.

    Maybe >>14334040
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:31 No.14334334

    Have one of the advisers bring up the point that slave uprisings and conquests of some of these places could vastly improve his everything.

    Ripe for the plucking and all that. If he's still unmoved we'll move on to the happiness lich for now.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:31 No.14334337
    Damn was hopping that he would fall into the /boring/ trap of those who are oppressed seeking only to become their oppressors
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:33 No.14334358

    Let's try combinging these two.

    Between the slander, the political damage and the possibilities of conquest, if he's anything like what we wanted SOMETHING about that will move him. If not, we'll have to think of something else.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:35 No.14334380
    Ugantu has now been DEMOTED to mid boss until he shows us that he can do something interesting. He should now just serve as a stepping stone on our hero's path to greatness.

    Just ensure that he doesn't indirectly interfere with us.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:41 No.14334442
    Godness we mixed up our troops. We thought we had a spartacus, but we really have is a Conan.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:42 No.14334447
    This. We said he would make his own choices and thus far hes decided to do nothing so we'll let the elf destroy him and then see what the happiness lich does.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/23/11(Wed)00:48 No.14334521
    Show of hands then, who wants to stick around to try and motivate him and who wants to throw him the fig and go look for the Hero? Honor system is in effect. I'm watching yoooooou!
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:49 No.14334524
    Anon, I'm really sorry, but I just don't think the happiness lich is going to happen.

    Anywho, as a last ditch effort, we could send an ultimatum.

    "Ugantu, my friend, you have one job. You may think that job is to rule your people in whatever way, but that isn't true. You may think that job is to free slaves and ensure that no man stands over any other yada yada yada. That's not it either.

    Your job is to keep me entertained. As of right now, you're failing to perform. Either you show some initiative, or I rescind my gifts, and find someone else."
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:50 No.14334531
    I am with my original post, that being >>14334063. Do something which we hope will push him back on track in time, and leave for something better rather than stick around watching him be boring. We can check back in a couple years to see if he got his shit together.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:56 No.14334583
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    I hope that your sorryness is sincere
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:56 No.14334586
    Combo the nightmare/rumor bit. If that fails, make him a stepping stone for the hero.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)00:59 No.14334607

    He's gotten boring. Let's make him sterile and go find someone else to pay attention to for a little while. In a year or so, when it's obvious to him that he's not going to get another heir, he may start moving to try to find the baby.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:05 No.14334662
    One advantage s that we have now created an oppressive trend in most nations that will lead our hero on the campaign for freedom that Uganta won't initiate. If our dictator friend won't play his part, this atmosphere will create that much more promising a hero. Perhaps a slave in some far off place will get a visit for some ample bosomed goddess of peace? It's been awhile since we showed our feminine side.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:07 No.14334679
    FIG- and all his children from this point forward are female.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:08 No.14334692
    Fig. Motivating him is pointless. He will either do it on his own or he won't at all and right now at least the elf sees him as a threat so something will happen to him sooner or later.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/23/11(Wed)01:21 No.14334796
    Heaving one of the many long sighs that have come to pass throughout the ages, you give reality a twist and depart from this pathetic hovel filled with rabble and dreamless thugs. How very disappointing your former brute was. Not all can have the spark of life, clarity of mind, and will to power that your delightful elf does, however. She was truly an exceptional find, thrown into even more contrast now with the failure of the brute. To find a hero to compare, or indeed even surpass her... that will be a challenge indeed, and at the thought your nonexistent smile returns. What suite of powers must you bestow upon someone to allow them to topple a nation? Especially one led by a woman as superlative as your clever elf. You once more pop into existence at an area you saw many months before when searching for a second project. All around is blasted wastelands, a desert as far as the eye can see in one direction, and a cobalt blue sea in the other... but beneath you, yes, the jewel of the Ashkran desert, the great wondrous gem of civilization, Mardana-Fel, city of the gods. Figuratively, of course.

    If there is any place that you will find a worthy being, it will be here. Buffeted by storms of both sea and sand, yet remaining a thriving metropolis of both trade, danger, adventure, and piety...

    You can feel it in your bones, reaching back across lifetimes uncounted. Yes, it is here you will find the one you seek. And if not?

    Well, in that event perhaps a pile of ash will serve to inspire heroes elsewhere.

    >Alright guys, think I’m done for the night. Next thread will be Friday, 18:00 server time. Hope to see you there!

    >Stick around and discuss what you would like for the hero. I’m going to tell you right now, “happiness lich” is low tier. I doubt just that could even take Ugantu.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:32 No.14334873
    i think the best bet for our hero is not a single person, not in the normal sense at least. i say we take two or more people mash them together into one being and see what happens.

    could even have it as one body but multiple souls around it and they each can "drive" the body one at a time and can even push the others out to take control if they think the others are doing a terrible job
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:35 No.14334894
    Hmm... Protagonist...

    Well... We could pull a page from /co/ and make an fantasy version of Superman or Green Lantern...
    We could kill a kid's parents in front of him and shape circumstances into creating our very own Batman.
    That might alleviate a little of our boredom...

    Of course, I feel that Ugantu needs a little punishment for not living up to expectations.
    I think we should change his brain with that of a cow.
    See if anyone notices the difference.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:35 No.14334895
    Thank you very much for the work. Perhaps next time we could look into Laressa's origins out of boredom while some plot or another percolates?

    In any case, anyone working on archiving this thread?
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:39 No.14334927
    The big problem is that Ugantu may prove to powerful for most fighters. He's totally immune to magic, and he can only be harmed in fair combat. What's more, I'm not sure how much he cares for fair combat, so it may be the case that he just up and knifes a bitch for no reason.

    For the hero: If we are going for the most amusing hero possible, it may be to our advantage to take a mad killer type of fellow and change him such that he may never harm the innocent or just. Increase his ability to learn from his mistakes, increase his durability, but pick someone with immensely poor decision making skills to begin with.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:41 No.14334951
    I think we need to gather a five man band. Laressa's best defence against such a thing would be to have her power behind a figurehead, maybe the King of her current domain, for now.

    I am enjoying the prospect of seeing a band of plucky, likable adventurers going about righting a few wrongs, overthrowing Ugantu, and generally being the good guys up until they finally face Laressa, a rather unconventional villain in that from an outsider's position (omnipotent spectators notwithstanding) she really isn't a villain at all. She exposed a high ranking noble's "vampirism," has been known to show charity towards talented individuals, and is generally a likable authority figure. Who would even suspect her of malice without knowing what her daggers and her eyes can do?
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:46 No.14334990

    On that note as well, we don't have to be beneficial to our hero...

    If the hero hates us and we give him the vague hope that s/he could 'stop us' (impossible of course, but s/he doesn't have to know that), that gives him/her a far more interesting drive to overthrow those that we set before him/her.

    Kill his parents or something, then pretend that it was something cheesy like his parent's sacrifice that gave him his gift and it is the only thing that can stop us and/or turn into an old mentor afterwords that trains the young child of 'destiny' to destroy us.

    We're good actors, right?
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)01:51 No.14335025

    My apologizes for this, but I missed the second quest thread and haven't caught up on it yet...

    Does Ugantu's immunity to magic extend to divine? We can still effect him ourselves though, right?
    Were we crafty enough to give him a convenient Achilles' Heel?
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/23/11(Wed)01:59 No.14335094
    We made him immune to everything. Except us, of course. We can't create something we ourselves can't defeat, or else poof. Paradox no likey.

    At first I was like
    But then I
    >blood and thunder.jpg
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)02:05 No.14335137
    Immune to even divine tier stuff.

    My votes on possible powers to give: Absurd, borderline reality warping luck. Mix of good and bad luck, with strong tendency to avoid anything fatal.

    A better idea would be to transform the soul of some random girl so that her soul is worth an absurd amount, to the point where _every_ God, Demon etc. . . worthy of the name wants it pledged to them. Watching the epic fight over it will be hilarious.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)02:08 No.14335156
    Quick question. He's immune to everything, and we can't undo that because we've already done it. But could we make something that could defeat him? Would that still be a paradox, or does it loophole since we didn't directly change his invulnerability?
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)02:12 No.14335179
    make his luck extend to people around him.

    people can become incredibly lucky or terribly fucked when he is about depending on the circumstances. he should be able to have a very small measure of control over his power.
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/23/11(Wed)02:16 No.14335207
    You guys made him immune to everything magic in this reality. That included, at the time, the knife and eyes we bestowed upon Laressa, meaning items we create and powers we bestow. Not one of the best thought through powers.

    Personally going down and smiting him is still an option, though. Be careful what you wish for ect. ect.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)02:17 No.14335209
    What part of "omnipotent" don't you understand?

    If Uganta is no longer a major player other than a mid boss, then we should strip him of at least some of his power. To ensure he doesn't get his stupid ass killed before the hero can get him, we should leave the anti-assassin field on, but take away his boat-control, and maybe put a cap on how effective his anti-magic abilities can be.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)02:17 No.14335218
    It has an impact on those around him, and they will be able to learn to control it. To an extent. But it will be impossible to avoid getting into adventures/drama.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)02:23 No.14335274
    I just got an idea.

    What if our hero could become super strong/invulnerable or whatever, but only when trying desperately to save someone?

    Fighting a dragon? Better hope there's a damsel in distress or no buff for you!
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)02:34 No.14335363
    wait, I thougth he was only immune to backstabbers and magic. Killing him in "honest" combat should still kill him

    if we could find someone that could best a pit champion...

    worst case scenario, have him get AIDS leprosy (cure disease? MAGIC IMMUNITY, BITCH) and hope that whoever takes over after him is more interesting
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)02:40 No.14335410
    And so our hero defeated the dictator Ugantu through SKANKY ASS HOS.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)02:54 No.14335507
    Pretty sure we can't take away things we gave. However, we /could/ add penalties to using them...
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)03:10 No.14335639
    we cannot undo things we have already done but nothing was ever said about withdrawing our gifts

    >ightsk space-time

    not sure exactly what you mean there captcha but yeah fucking with the space-time continuum sounds like it could make things more interesting
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/23/11(Wed)03:28 No.14335764
    They are there, you can't just finger-snap them away now.

    Well you could, but it would probably lead to Quest Over, or at the very least Oh Shit Quest Is Tripping Balls Now!
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)03:36 No.14335839
    could we perhaps twist the gifts somehow?

    make certain things cause them to flicker on and off or become powerful enough to overflow?
    >> Vedibere !!O+eQDn0BBx8 03/23/11(Wed)04:03 No.14336079
    That is within the realm of reason, yes.
    >> Anonymous 03/23/11(Wed)04:20 No.14336205
    As I said, add penalties for using them.
    "What's that? You took command of a ship with your mind? That's great, but all the bones in the little finger of your left hand just shattered. Enjoy!"
    "What's that? You blocked a fireball with your hand? That's great, but you just lost 5 years off your lifespan. Enjoy!"
    "What's that? You just survived drinking some poison that should have killed you? One of your testicles just exploded. Enjoy!"

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