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    508 KB Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:47 No.14267134  
    Greetings /tg/

    You are going on a quest. You are to go with five items that you will use throughout your adventure and decide how you roll.

    >> Rillius 03/16/11(Wed)19:48 No.14267151
    Chain Mail of the Unknowable Rite of the Wise Destroyers
    Embossed Partisan of Victors
    Future Jagged Lute
    Haunt's Gauntlet of Flame Barriers
    Machine of Lava and Telepathy
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:49 No.14267162
    Axe of Fire and Barbarism
    Hatchet of the Compassionate Archers' Rune of Compassion
    Human's Shuriken
    Screaming Spectre's Bracelet of the Canine's Benevolence
    Sly Sea Serpent's Machine of Dust Ball
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:50 No.14267168
    I'm some kind of bard.

    Fine Constructor's Chakram
    Flute of the Spectres
    Lyre of Ruthless Snakes
    Sycthe of Diamond Gyser
    Thunderous Earrings of the Archmagi
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:50 No.14267179
    >Crossbow of the Invokers' Insanity
    >Drink of Nothing Ring
    >Eaters' Shield
    >Infernal Pill
    >Quilted Armor of Ice Auras

    >> Hank Pym !!A0/lWspso1i 03/16/11(Wed)19:51 No.14267194
    >Barbaric Wolf's Pill of Berserker Slaying
    Good to have for the inevitable horde battle
    >Crazed Silencer's Hatchet of the Evocation of Magma and Muteness
    So, I silence them when I cut them, which then explodes into a burst of magma and prevents them from casting spells. Sounds good.
    >Shoes of Fine Kindness Storms
    My lightning feet may now dance to the thunderous beat.
    >Silencer's Club
    Keeps the other party members in line when they question my brilliant plans.
    Ultimate Silencers' Harpsichord
    A bit unweildy, but with the power of the Silencers' I should be able to melt the cold hearts of my enemy with a warm island rhyme.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:52 No.14267196

    >Chain Mail of the Haunted Haunt
    I...uh...yo dawg, we herd yo like ghosts?

    >Haunted Spined Sling of Bear Control

    >Serene Dwarves' Throwing Knife
    Only works when drunk.

    >Throwing Knife of Fortune and Happiness
    So...stab yourself with this for instant win, or what?

    >War-axe of the Wizards' Witchery of Hatefulness
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:53 No.14267214
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    Deadly Lotion
    Distant Shuriken of Lava Orbs
    Green Awl-pike of Negate Jump
    Perfect Scintillating Hauberk
    Warhammer of the Queens' Chant of Caring

    Some kind of dorf ninja...?
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:54 No.14267223
    >Distant Creators' Mechanism
    Some sort of map system? Or perhaps an auto-repair clockwork thing? It's mysterious, and the creations of the Distant Creators have never really been understood, but surely this will aid my quest.

    >Drunken Monks' Hauberk of Canines
    Ah, the Order of the Ale's craftsmanship. No finer hauberk would ever be made by those drunken martial artists. The fact that it elongate's one canines into lethal weapons at will is just a bonus, really. Most definitely a useful item to have.

    >Dwarf's Crossbow
    Deadly out to six hundred yards, able to fire any sort of bolt, garunteed to never loose it's tighness or it's accuracy. Distant Maker's Blessings on those short little beardy men.

    >Perfected Peripat
    The most important item on my quest. A Perfected Peripat allows me to, on occasion, do something simply perfectly. I cannot control when it activates, but it is sure to do so at times to aid me.

    >Serpent's Blowgun of the Intelligent Ogre
    ... Okay, this is a bit out there. I suppose should it at least never runs out of poisoned darts, and as it is of Ogre make it will serve as a good club.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:55 No.14267240
    Bullet of Cold Circles
    Compassionate Masters' Crossbow of the Benevolent Kraken's Rune of Cursing
    Gear of Elven Family
    Hellish Souls' Sitar
    Unjust Carver's Bullet of Resurrection Alteration
    >> Fabricator-General Scriptarius 03/16/11(Wed)19:56 No.14267242
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    >Clever Undead's Harp of Transform Sliperiness
    "-for old Nathan Irenicus was no stupid bard. His harp would bring sliperiness around him whereever he went. If you know what I mean."
    >Ethereal Clear Throwing Axe
    Ethereal and clear? Sneakiest throwing axe ever.
    >Lyre of the Slayer
    A lyre and a harp? Looks like I'm rolling a bard.
    >Past Spined Balm
    Apply for instant spines. Use before 1240BC.
    >Summoners' Broch of Blood Assaults
    My hidden ultimate weapon.

    So, I'll be a bard who carries a lyre and a harp, some oldass balm, a sneaky throwing axe and an evil borch.
    >Not brooch
    What the shit is a broch...
    ...aww shit.
    >> Loptr 03/16/11(Wed)19:56 No.14267243
    These threads get posted a bit too often lately, but whatever. I'm game.

    >Glimmering Gauntlet of Imperial Virtue
    >Messiah's Leather Armor
    >Miserly Monsters' Flute of Canine Calling
    >Sycthe of the Rune of Absorbs Acid
    >Voluge of the Sorcery of Muteness Deflection

    Some sort of wolfmaster priest I guess.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:56 No.14267247
    Deadly Runed Chakram of Kill Traitor
    Mystic Ointment of Happiness
    Saber of Time Orbs
    Sharp Utensil of Heat Disks
    Slayer's Sling

    Looks promising, and happy :)
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:57 No.14267260
    >Animated Lyre of the Annihilators' Chant of Necromancy
    >Caring Gnomes' Flute
    >Finder's Pants
    >Utensil of the Soldiers' Spell of Fertility
    >Warhammer of the Benevolent Soldier

    Looks like I'm a bard/midwife hybrid. Again.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:57 No.14267264
    Claymore of the Distant Working of Control Specter
    Hellish Animate Medicine of Platinum Orbs
    Infernal Fiery Buckler
    Two-handed Sword of the Illuminated Illusion of Seduce Angel
    War-axe of Slime Disks
    I've got the weapons, and I've got some kind of health potion... A Hellish animate potion, but still, it's medicine. Also, I can seduce angels
    >> Loptr 03/16/11(Wed)19:58 No.14267271
    >Cone of the Conjuration of Absorbs Magma
    >Deadly Elixir of Bone and Desire
    >Machine of Venom Rain
    >Mystical Anklet
    >Otherworldly Adamantine Gown

    Some kind of Dorf Fortress seductress... owfuckmybrain
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)19:58 No.14267272
    >Axe of Ghostly History

    Weapon, check.

    >Cone of the Clever Angel

    Puzzle sokving gear, check.

    >Mystical Seekers' Sycthe

    Magical weapon of dubious origins, check.

    >Ornate Breast Plate of Elemental Honor Breaths

    Pimpin' armour, check.

    >Sturdy Pyramid

    Shelter, check.

    It's ADVENTURE time.
    >> Gloquenteentleman !yVrZbEGJ8A 03/16/11(Wed)19:58 No.14267280
    rolled 28 = 28


    Spear of Thieving Alteration - Hmmmm, I guess it doesn't like people who steal things.

    Gnomes' Trident of Platinum - I could use it as an over-sized fork I guess.

    Quarrel of Compassion - Cool, cupid's quarrel I guess.

    Green Throwing Axe - Seems pretty solid and self-explanatory.

    Cube of Lizard Killing - Pretty damn handy if I don't say so myself. Dragon, lizardmen, kobold, wyvern, and all kinda lizard related killing with this thing I assume.

    Looks like I'm a fighter that uses throwing weapons........I'm okay with this.
    >> Bi-Polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 03/16/11(Wed)20:00 No.14267298
    Mace of Kindness Barrier
    Axe of Negate Law
    Flail of the Drake
    Torc of Spectral Water
    Haunts' Breast Plate

    Fighter specializing in heavy weaponry
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:01 No.14267313
    >Dagger of Call Ladies
    >Good Divinity's Tower Shield
    >Unholy Clear Medicine of the Traitor
    >Unjust Wyrm's Breast Plate of Bear Calling
    >Wonderful Titans' Shoes

    I can summon bears or women. I've got options....
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:01 No.14267315
    >Ghost's Contraption of the Divination of Acid and Blinding
    I have a feeling this will be the only thing I need
    >Giant Hatchet
    No nvm I'll use this a lot too
    >Good Bears' Hauberk of Copper Alteration
    >Mystic Golem's Hammer
    >Runed Machine
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:02 No.14267334
    Armguard of Gold Blast
    Barbarian's Shuriken
    Boots of the Canines' Ritual of Magma
    Forbidden Golden Bastard Sword
    Thunderous War-axe

    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:04 No.14267344
    >Archmagi's Contraption
    Cool. If only I knew what it did. Probably calls up some bullshit railroading. Maybe a pipe-toting mofa who instagibs whatever I aim the contraption at. Suppose I'll find out later.

    >Hammer of the Happy Wanderer's Evocation of Flaying
    Sounds brutal. It's a weapon made especially for a wandering man such as myself, which keeps spirits up on the road, and also evokes the thought in my foes to tear their own flesh from their bones with abandon as I smash their skulls in. Fuck yeah.

    >Machine of the Celestial Viper
    I've got one of those robotic snakes COBRA uses. Except it's also DIVINE. Awesome familiar is awesome.

    >Sling of Light Clouds
    ... I guess I have a shoulderbag, which... Holds entire clouds? And makes them light to carry, even condensed?

    Lightning storms in my pocket. I can dig it.

    >Studious Cats' Necklace
    ... Alright, what the fuck do I do with this? Unless...

    Unless this is the same amulet the Awakened Housecat of yore wore. The flying, acid-spitting, psionic housecat of DOOM.

    I'm... Rather afraid of this last one, I'll admit. Thoughts, /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:05 No.14267370
    >Abyssimal Awl-pike of Air Hail
    A terrible spear that summons annoying frozen air. If I need some dry ice then I got my weapon.
    >Benevolent Spectres' Machine
    Some charitable ghosts gave me some kind of contraption without telling me what it will do. This will be plan B.
    >Charismatic Krakens' Cube of the Lawful Abjuration of Heroism
    A small box enchanted by a very personable squid that allows the user to skip out on quests without any repercussions. Well damn, fuck adventuring I got the cube!
    >Kingly Dancing Cutlass
    A lavishly decorated sword that can dance a jig. Parlor tricks ahoy!
    >Spectral Metallic Medicine of Mud Balls
    Some kind of iron-oxide pills?

    I guess I'm playing a swashbuckeler with anemia.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:11 No.14267429
    >Claymore of Sea Serpents
    So this sword is good at killing Sea Serpents? Or... Was made by Sea Serpents? I don't know. Maybe I should be a Scottish Pirate though.

    >Glowing Knife of Sludge Beams
    I'm guessing you stab the support beams of a building with this and it turns them into sludge. Very nice.

    >Purple Cudgel of Marvelous Hunters
    Super hunting club? Eh, I guess.

    >Sturdy Bullet
    One bullet. Very cool.

    >Wonderful Wanderer's Quarrel of Nothing Arrows
    I'm hoping these arrows erase whatever they hit from existence, because otherwise they're probably totally useless.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:13 No.14267463
    >Assasins' Plate Mail
    >Evil Sea Serpent's Glaive of Alter Ether
    >Garment of Cowardly Nomads
    >Giant Chain Mail of Diamond Arrow
    >Marvelous Wanderers' Peripat
    I guess thats cool.

    Whats a Peripat
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:13 No.14267471
    >Machine of the Celestial Viper.

    Very cool! They gave me a bullet.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:13 No.14267473
    >illuminated ILLUSION of seduce angel

    Actually, you're basically constantly followed by a heavenly pillar of light, with illusions of angel bitches following you around. Now, I'm not sure how convincing those illusions are, but if they can fool the wearer, then you've got angel bitches that are actually your bitches at your beck and call at all times.

    tl;dr you're a pimp adventurer with celestial ho's, wat do?
    >> Loptr 03/16/11(Wed)20:14 No.14267485
    >wat do?
    >celestial ho's
    There you go
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:16 No.14267512
    >Crown of Exalted Happiness
    Ah, he who wears this crown shall be truly happy!
    >Lizards' Partisan of the Illusion of Alter Force
    Sounds fancy.
    >Ring of the Exorcism of Slay Felines
    Does that mean i control ghost cats...or can exorcise them?
    >Sacred Defenders' Trident of the Kingly Exorcism of Voidness
    Well now that kind of a name just screams "This will fuck you up"
    >Wanderers' Cudgel
    Well, simplistic and to the point
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:17 No.14267524
    Uh... The bullet's sturdy, at least. Maybe you could plate it with adamantium, yeah. Then enchant it with return so it pops back into the gun, and enchant it with scaling. Assuming the return brings new primer into existance, you have infinite ammo for any gun, ever, which cannot ever break, is plated with superlight metal that gives it the ability to pierce through ANYTHING, and... Yeah. Put that shit in a high RoF weapon, become HEAVY WEAPONS GUY.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:20 No.14267554
    >Aquatic Spectre's Tonic
    >Chameleons Plate Mail of the Journeyman
    >Ointment of the Doomed Incatation of the Studious Spectres
    >Seer's Earrings
    >Soldier's Draught
    I'm fucked.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:20 No.14267555
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    Abyssimal Potion of the Evocation of Hypnotise Dancer
    Miserly Monsters' Shield of Triumph Alteration
    Sacred Mattock of Intelligent Crushers
    Sagely Traitor's Voluge
    Sphere of the Calling of Guarding Conjuration

    i think i might be screwed
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:20 No.14267556
    Exalted Hunter's Suit
    Exceptional Draught of Mana Sphere
    Saber of Sylvan Dexterity
    Savage Sinner's Moccasins of the Ghost
    Spiritual Immovable Breast Plate of the Final Incatation of Control Stone

    Yeah. I think I'm good.

    It /tg/ getting ready to start a Seventh Sanctum Campaign?
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:22 No.14267576
    Spas-12 with 60 rounds
    Bullet proof vest
    Glock 9mm
    Canteen with delicious water
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:22 No.14267577
    >Metallic Apparatus of Berserker Seeking
    Well, I guess if I ever have to track down a barbarian... Because you really want to stalk after a badass motherfucker who may or may not be a Viking, who will go insane on your ass and hack you into firewood if you dick around with him. Oh yes, very useful.
    >Necklace of the Hex of Mark Doors
    Marking... Doors. I guess that'd be useful for a labyrinth. Kinda narrow in its uses.
    >Quilted Armor of Venom Transformation
    Uh. It transforms the venom into... Something? A shitty suit of quilted armor, that has vague effects on poisons. How wonderful. At least I won't be poisoned when they stab me.
    >Salve of Slime Spheres
    >Shooting Lotion
    oh god what

    some sort of container which shoots lotion

    please don't be white lotion

    please don't be a penis-shaped bottle

    oh god what the fuck
    >> Bi-Polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 03/16/11(Wed)20:22 No.14267581
    Round 2
    Savage Summoners' Harpoon of the Intelligent Triton
    Wise Swimmer's Sandals
    Endless Cube of Stone Field
    Divine Ornate Contraption
    Destroyers' Hatchet of Seeing Transformation

    Buccaneer Jesus, fuck yeah.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:26 No.14267613
    >Ancestral Sinner's Banded Mail of the Illusion of Transform Mud
    So ancient mail made by a sinner that lets me create the illusion that I have turned into mud. Could be handy.
    >Crazed Ogres' Charm of Control Falsehood
    So a crazy Ogre enchanted a charm that lets me control lies? Kick ass.
    >Helm of Venom Gushes
    A helmet that spews venom from it's mouth. Now thats badass.
    >Spiritual Artists' Bar
    Holding this bar connects you to great spiritual artists, imbuing you with creativity and talent
    >Vorpal Pants
    Oh well thats just dandy.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:29 No.14267655
    >Bodily Pants
    I have pants. They are, for whatever reason, bodily. Not sure what that means, but hey, they're nice pants.

    >Hammer of Haunted Bears
    I have a hammer which commands ghost bears. Not as bad as causing people to tear their own faces off, but I can at least command spectral ursines to tear people's faces off

    >Medication of Bone Gyser
    Uh... Does it cause people's bones to shoot out of their bodies like a geyser? Does it PREVENT that? Gotta be careful with this.

    >Past Balm of Dust Transformation
    Woo. I have some really old balm which transforms dust. Poof. THIS DUST IS NOW DIAMONDS.

    >Spiritual Animated Pipes of Nothing Fields
    ... So I have some religiously fulfilled, living lengths of pipe, from a plane where there is nothing but fields. Or perhaps where nothing goes in the fields. Maybe, as a result, without Capcha fields, the pipes will channel beams of prismatic spam and shitposting on my enemies? That's a nasty-ass weapon.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:30 No.14267672
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    >Animate Buckler
    Cool a shield that moves by it self
    >Crown of the Swimmer
    Hell yes I am the king of swimming
    >Giant Cone
    Uh...Is it a weapon?
    >Meteoric Bar
    A Better weapon!
    >Tool of Nothing Orb
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:30 No.14267686
    >Bodily Pyramid
    No idea.
    >Boots of the Bear
    +1 END, +1 STR
    > Dart of Gnomes
    +4 saves vs. illusions
    >Holy Animals' Harpoon
    +1, +3 vs. Outsiders
    >Lute of Magma Lance
    #Feelin' hot, hot, hot...#
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:33 No.14267731
    >Benevolent Dwarves' Charm
    Well, I guess I'll be in good company if I run into any dwarves.

    >Bracer of Infamous Lizards
    Yeah, look at me, all badass with my INFAMOUS LIZARD BRACER

    >Gray Cube
    ...it's name is Tim.

    >Royal Immovable Hat of Conjure Copper
    I'm royalty, and there's nothing you can do about it.

    >Ultimate Bracelet
    I'm going to pretend it makes me a god.

    My foes will think they are trippin' balls.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:33 No.14267742
    >Bracer of Thought Storm
    I will fuck your brain up!
    >Serpents' Helm
    Talk to snakes maybe? I dunno, but it has a badass cobra on it!
    >Tower Shield of Acid Gushes
    HAHAHA! Hit me, I DARE you! ACID!
    >Utensil of the Eternal Glamour of Magma
    Yeah, that Lava? Completely real. Don;t believe me? ... ACID GUSH!
    >War-axe of Saintly Water Ring
    I have no idea what a Saintly Water Ring is, but it probably fucks up Undeads' shit. And its an Axe, so it fucks up everyone elses' shit too.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:34 No.14267751
    Chaotic Monks' Lute
    >Too bad I didn't put any ranks into Perform
    Endless Bracer
    >Oh. Wow. Uh... Sounds powerful, but I don't know what they do.
    Gauntlet of the Spell of Negate Time
    >Cool! I can fuck with people and then negate any time I spent doing it. Not sure if I get the time back, or if it just undoes itself; either way, I get to do things.
    Slayers' Partisan
    >sounds cool
    Wise Serpents' Cube
    >its like a rubix cube for people with no arms.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:34 No.14267759
    >Animate Broch of the Lesser Angel
    I'm not sure what a broch is, but I like knowing that I have some celestial guidance, I think.
    >Bow of Spirit Orbs
    Well this is just useless. All the arrows it shoots turn into little talking balls that follow me around.
    >Haunted Dancers' Drink of Spirit and Precision
    ...At least my balls will be accurate.
    >Perfected Drakes' Automaton
    This little robot thing is kinda neat though.
    >Rugged Buckler of Become Krakens
    ...FUCKYES. My enemies will never know what hit them.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:40 No.14267839
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    >rugged buckler of become krakens

    Oh God. What if all the krakens across the planes... Were the result of one guy, with a grudge against the navies of all civilizations, for whatever reason- disgruntled merchant mariner, perhaps fucked up by privateers of multiple powers- submitting to some horrible curse, and becoming a hive-minded entity composed of multiple gigantic squids?

    Which means... He'd have to breed with himself in weird squid-sex to survive. Which isn't sex, yet is, since he's both participants, but it's still two bodies, and all those giant squids birthed later would continue this, and...

    Oh God. Eternal squid-selfsterbation across centuries upon centuries. And he'd have to control more and more giant squid bodies, organize them, manage all of their lives and eventually bang himself again in a horrible display of twisting tentacles and...

    I'm going to be sick.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:41 No.14267855
    >Gauntlet of Conjure Dreaming
    Am I conjuring up those that are asleep and dreaming? Am I giving dreams to those that are already asleep?
    If it's the latter, as I suspect, I'm going to become some kind of santa-like figure, who goes around giving bad dreams to bad children and worse dreams to good ones. Just because, you know? If the former, there's only one word: C'thulu.
    >Glorified White Leather Armor
    Excellent, clothes. They'll come in handy. Hopefully they are glorified as in "The wearer will be admired by all" and not glorified as in "you will think they are great until you get stabbed, when you'll find they are shit." Oh well.
    >Haunted Archers' Gauntlet of Royal Lineage Chain
    So, I'll be followed by (a) ghost(s), I'm apparently royalty (or can fake it. Glorified armour, maybe?), and I may be able to shoot chains like some kind of evil spiderman. Awesome.
    >Red Potion of Control Control
    O...K? I guess if I ever have to go up against a controlled monster, I'll do well?
    >Vicious Angel's Trident of Control Krakens
    Fuck. Yes.

    Plan: Give prophetic dreams to important people in kingdom, Summon Dreaming Kraken, Control Kraken, terrorise kingdom with Kraken, enter capital and proclaim I will save them from Kraken, "fight" and slay Kraken, use armour to make fight look good, use gauntlet to fake being royalty (or reveal I am royalty, I dunno. Maybe that's how I got the glove?), rule kingdom.

    Secretly become Evil Santa, using chain-glove to get into houses.

    Hope like hell Vicious Angel doesn't come to get Trident back.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:43 No.14267881
    >Holy Dancing Awl-pike
    Its godly it dances and it will rip your face off, sounds like the life of the party
    >Imperial Amulet of Absorbs Dust
    Cause fuck you asthma
    >Medicine of Cleverness Circle
    It makes you smart and kills germs, but only if you walk in a circle
    >Spiritual Journeyman's Plate Mail
    matches my holy dancing awl-pike
    >War-axe of Glorified Sadism Lances
    Part-axe part lance sexual gratification from use, how could this go wrong
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:43 No.14267885
    >Doomed Sphere of the Mystical Working of the Portable Portals
    A sphere that makes portable portals that either is doomed or the portals lead to doomed places?
    >Dwarven Adamantine Chain Mail
    Well hell yeah, aint scratching this shit.
    >Future Arrow of Blood Wall
    An arrow from the future, that came from a wall of blood. Or an arrow that sends you to the blood wall in the future
    >Sitar of Force and Carnage
    Oh my god, warrior of metal here.
    >White Tool of Sagely Humanoids
    A tool for old sages. Cool
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:45 No.14267896
    >Bola of the Unknowable Curse of the Prismatic Chamber
    So anyone I hit with this is trapped in a Prismatic Chamber... but won't realize it?
    >Diadem of Fire Transformation
    I don't know what a diadem is but FWOOSH
    >Holy Club
    Pretty straight forward.
    >Sturdy Amulet of Inversion Negation
    It... inverts... negations? Or negates inversions...
    >Vicious Berserkers' Medication of Unholy Good Gushes
    Also known as Viagra. This is going to be an interesting quest.
    >> Bi-Polar Hernandez !KuKq0dYqkQ 03/16/11(Wed)20:47 No.14267916
    3rd time:
    Deadly Elixir
    Demonic Hatchet
    Exceptional Demons' Pants of Wind Conjuration
    Hellish Corruptor's Contraption
    Miserly Traveller's Hammer

    Chaotic Evil Bard-type
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:50 No.14267950

    Id rather go with gadgets
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:51 No.14267967
    >Aquatic Canine's Mace of Darkness Barrier
    Ain't no sea dawg getting close to me.
    >Cursed Glammered Buckler of the Calling of Destroy Chimes
    Everywhere i go, that fucking song keep following me and everything burn. Shut up with that Sephiroth shit already !
    >Immovable Quarrel
    How to make you dm hate you 101.
    >Instant Chain Mail of Opening and Charisma
    Bitcth. Open those legs.
    >Spined Sling of Blasphemous Dragons
    Throwing dragons that swear as they fly at the BBEG ? Priceless.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:51 No.14267976
    And then we have
    >Vicious Angel's Trident of Control Krakens

    Ogod wat.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:54 No.14268026
    >Device of the Elf
    ... Dare I ask what this device does?
    >Fine Divinity's Banded Mail
    God Armor? I can live with this.
    >Future Angel's Sitar of Copper Orbs
    A future sitar that summons copper orbs? Time to get creative.
    >Javelin of the Incatation of Fish Hypnotism
    >Pipes of the Witchery of Earth
    Pipes that control the earth? Do Want

    So I'm a bard. Apparently.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:56 No.14268046
    >Burning Ring
    >Ethereal Demon's Crossbow of Imperial
    A crossbow that fires bolts that induce smarts on an imperial level.
    >Generous Spectres' Tonic
    Anyone who drinks this tonic becomes a ghost that gives gifts
    >Infamous Archmagi' Helm of Voidness Alteration
    With this helm you posses the power to mold the void to your liking
    >Unholy God's Shield of Thought Hail
    A shield from the anti god, bombard your enemies with hail made from people's minds.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:57 No.14268058
    ... And his drawing away of one of the krakens draws the ire of ALL OF THEM. Cue kingdom being utterly destroyed and giant squid selfsterbation orgy on the ashes.

    Why... Why do I feel like, somewhere, in Japanese animation, this shit was actually written up, produced, and even WATCHED?
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:59 No.14268085
    >Ultimate Arch-angels' Harpoon
    This sounds like a good weapon

    >Axe of Kill Wolf
    That's... rather specific, but handy if I have to fight a wolf

    >Imperial King's Plate Mail

    >Glorious Shoes
    My shoes are FABULOUS

    >Torc of Control Metal
    Shit yeah, I'm Magneto motherfuckers.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)20:59 No.14268093
    >Barbaric Elves' Armguard of the Hellish Illusion of the Screaming Dwarf
    overly pimped shield of the dwarf-hating elves.
    >Distant Serpent's Sitar
    What the...
    >Eternal Travellers' Crossbow
    But i dont want to travel forever!
    >Good Shoes of the Haunt
    are these haunted shoes or shoes that haunt?
    >Spectral Pill
    So the she-ghost wont get pregnant anytime soon.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:01 No.14268117
    >Agile Hearer's Blowgun of Courageous Nomads
    Over the top weapon of showing off? CHECK

    >Damned Shooting Lyre of the Unspeakable Creator
    Gun-harp? CHECK

    >Good Gray Tower Shield of Dust Lances
    Riot gear? CHECK

    >Saintly Vorpal Saber of Voidness Zones
    Over the top slice'n'dicer? CHECK

    >Spectral Immovable Plate Mail
    God mode invisible armor that prevents me being thrown about? CHECK

    I seem fairly set for my adventure
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:02 No.14268126
    If it's immovable you can't go anywhere with it
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:02 No.14268136
    Won't the immovable effect be de-activateable?
    >> αlpharius 03/16/11(Wed)21:03 No.14268142
    >Crossbow of Amazon Seeking
    This seems to be a very situational weapon. Or perhaps it causes the wielder to stumble upon amazon's more times than is statistically likely.
    >Heavenly Ogre's Bar
    Here's to hoping this refers to a drinking establishment rather than a literal bar.
    >Miserly Ogres' Chain Mail of the Invocation of Ruthlessness
    So...chainmail that causes you to be stingy whilst causing ruthlessness in the wearer. I can work with this.
    >Pyramid of the Caring Finder
    Amusingly opposed to ruthless and stingy.
    >White Medication of the Hex of Cowardice
    Causes those who imbue it to become cowards? Well this could be usefull. Or perhaps it is an item that creates an aura of fear.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:03 No.14268146
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    >>Wonderful Envenomed Sphere of Unholy Caring Assaults
    Why am I imagining an orb that turns me into that carnifex that just wants to give everyone a hug?
    >>Lute of Intoxication
    So I get a lute that can only be palyed well when I'd already 3-sheets to the wind? I like it
    >>Plate Mail of Nothing Clouds
    What is this? I don't even....

    Please tell me I didn't just get imaginary armor.
    >>Unknowable Electrical Bow of the Minor Exorcism of Alteration
    So a bow with an effect that undoes alterations, but I just know about it
    >>Armguard of Sapphire Arrows
    So an armguard that turns all my arrowheads into saphires, but won't likely work because my bow negates alteration magic.

    All in all, it looks like I'll be a bard that can turn into a monster that just wants to hug everyone, but crushes them instead.

    I'm so going to have to do some writefagetry on this later
    >> Royal Militia Conjurer 03/16/11(Wed)21:04 No.14268157
    I liked the other thread better... I don't think I can fight too well with this loadout.

    >Dwarven Cloak
    It's a little short... very good quality though.

    >Imperial Mattock
    never leave home without it! One never knows when you'll need to do a spot of mining. Doubles as a weapon too.

    >Pipes of Fish Slaying
    It's like that one movie where the guy goes fishing by throwing dynamite in the river, except less explosive and not australian.

    >Illuminated Utensil
    I'll eat whenever I damn well please. Daylight is for pussies.

    >Holy Thunderous Drink
    I imagine this is some fuckawesome alcoholic beverage- an ale so potent it will knock you back in time and all across the multiverse.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:06 No.14268175
    >>Great Viper's Shoes
    Cool, some kinda leather, maybe poison-resist shoes
    >>Greaves of Displacement Control
    Apparently, I really like shoes
    >>Haunts' Chain Mail
    I dont know who this Haunt guy is, but he sounds cool
    >>Marvelous Green Quilted Armor
    Yeah, that sounds just FABULOUS
    >>Quarrel of Vicious Fletchers
    Great, so I have ammo, but nothing to shoot it with
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:08 No.14268200
    Buckler of the Just Specter
    Chain Mail of Cold Beams
    >Cool Beans
    Holy Queen's Hatchet of Frost and Projection
    >could be useful, don't know how a hatchet projects
    Knife of Air Negation
    >sounds dangerous-i can suffocate you just by forcing this knife down your throat
    Seekers' Harpoon of Summon Kings
    >Armour, shield, 3 weapons.. Looks like I'm rolling a fighter. fuck yeah, king summoning harpoon.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:08 No.14268201
    Sandals of Wise Saviors
    Elven Screaming Two-handed Sword of Barbarians
    Garment of Slay Bears
    Elven Dancing Sword
    Fighter's Partisan of Darkness Field

    Well I certainly won't be running out of weapons.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:09 No.14268213
    >Banes' Plate Mail

    Cool, a god's armor. FRshit, but that's okay.

    >Bola of Slay Carver

    Uh... I guess that'll be good vs dwarves?

    >Demonic Ring of Ether Hand

    uh... lets me hit ghosts and shit?

    >Draught of Seduce Lizard


    >Sacred Arch-angel's Automaton

    An angel's robot.
    >> Hypnocrotch !BqcQeeA4HA 03/16/11(Wed)21:11 No.14268242
    >Exalted Quilted Armor of Caring Spirits
    >Harpoon of the Heavenly Rune of the >Benevolent Victors
    >Philter of Copper Cloud
    >Saintly Immovable Sphere
    >Unspeakable Ornate Tower Shield of the Eternal Viper

    Looks like I'm rollin' shield/polearm fighter. Wewt.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:12 No.14268261

    Let's take turtling to a whole new level
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:13 No.14268276
    Except that it's a trident of controlling krakenS. So when they come for him, he gets more. And more. And more. Oh gods, wat. He can force the guy that is the krakens to breed with himself to give him more minions to control, and... Oh gods, WHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY?
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:15 No.14268304
    >Ethereal Helm of the Angry Arch-angel
    >Insane Drakes' Shield of Illuminated Good Aura
    >Tower Shield of Perfect Caretakers
    >Royal Soldier's Orb of Conjure Invisibility
    >Sphere of Force Gushes

    This campaign reminds me of Pulp Fiction.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:18 No.14268337
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    >Automaton of Negate Construction
    A golem that destorys buildings? cool
    >Sycthe of Magma Gushes
    Hilarity. Seems pretty good too.
    >Unspeakable Sturdy Shoes of Marvelous Bears
    >Vicious Feline's Shield of Nondetection Control
    MInd control is always OP, especially if people can't detect it.
    >Cursed Demons' Drum
    >> ...and I shall be known as MidBoss Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:23 No.14268422
    >Doomed Dragon's Banded Mail of the Wondrous Rite of the Barbaric Arch-angel
    Sounds like some awesome armor forged by a bloodthirsty Arch-angel.

    >Gauntlet of Heavenly Lizards
    Dragons gauntlets huh? Looks like I'm going to be dealing with quite a few dragons on this quest.

    >Ring of Venom Walls
    A ring that lets me make walls of venom? Awesome.

    >Ultimate Meteoric Claymore of the Sacred Ritual of Light
    A claymore made of star-metal and enchanted with holy light? Sweet.

    >Massive Pyramid
    Uh... I don't think I can lug that around... wait I"m equipped with relics made by holy rituals and barbaric arch-angels out of the remains of a powerful yet doomed dragon and I'm the guardian of an ancient and enchanted tomb that likely has some sort macguffin hidden within?

    Sigh, I guess I'll wait until the PC's get here.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)21:46 No.14268710
    >>Ethereal Eagles' Greaves of Ruby
    Flying and insubstantial powers along with kickass ruby shoes? Yes please.

    >>Glorious Jagged Arrow of Become Sea Serpent
    Well, I can stab myself with it and turn into a Sea Serpent for underwater travel, right?

    >>Hammer of Mud Control

    >>Otherworldly Eagle's Machine of the Elf's Working of Energy
    ....... Wait.. Hold on a second... What the crap does a machine made by eagles and elves do?

    >>Sagely Elves' Mechanism of Fire Fields
    I can explode fields into fire? My god. I am awesome.

    So: apparently my battle strategy is to fly into the sky and explode the plains where my enemies are into a flaming inferno. I then animate mud golems to kill the survivors.
    If they flee into the water to try and put themselves out? I turn into a sea serpent and kill them.

    Come at me, bro.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:30 No.14270033
    It's a sling that causes ghost-bears to attack whatever the projectiles hit?

    And the spikes let it double as a flail?
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:33 No.14270046
    Diadem of Transform Invulnerability
    >uh ok
    Lost Fiery Flail
    >found fiery flail
    Otherworldly Massive Contraption of Silver Lances
    >I'll take 3
    Shoes of Sound Hand
    >hand shoes?
    Splendid Eagles' Tower Shield of Light
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:37 No.14270096
    >Atal of Cruel Humans
    What the hell is an Atal?

    >Blowgun of Become Lady

    >Pill of the Calling of Terror and Anger
    Berserker pills? SWEET!

    >Savage Salve

    >Sylvan Portable Breast Plate
    Nice armor, I suppose.

    I am the worst drug dealer ever.
    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:42 No.14270145
    Corrupt Arch-angel's Partisan
    Gear of Silver
    Infernal Instant Helm of Innocent Sinners
    Ogre's Throwing Axe of the Glorified Charm of Control Air
    Salve of Platinum Bolt

    >> Anonymous 03/16/11(Wed)23:42 No.14270149
    >Great Angel's Lyre
    "Lo, and the gods gifted upon him the Lyre once owned by their fallen champion"

    >Throwing Axe of Voidness Shield
    ... My throwing Axe has a void shield? or it Generates one around me?

    > Haunted Pin of the Gnome
    a pin haunted by a gnome

    >Broch of Ether Lance

    >Elixir of Thought Rain
    when taken, this Elixir causes the user's thoughts to take form and fall from the sky as if they were rain drops
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:07 No.14270463
    >Coat of the Cat

    This is a cat leather cloak. It menaces with cat leather spikes

    >Contraption of Summon Dwarves

    How I'll find the mountainhome

    >Illuminated Dwarf's Sycthe

    How I'll identify myself as one of them

    >Shield of the Evil Joiner

    How I'll join the tantrum spiral

    >Strong Mace of Unknowable Health

    How I'll be the only survivor

    My adventure is set in DF world isn't it?
    >> monotreeme 03/17/11(Thu)00:11 No.14270500
    rolled 94 = 94


    Plate Mail of the Arch-angels

    Elemental Sycthe

    crazed kraken barrel

    Bracer of Humanoid Killing

    Chameleon's Tool
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:26 No.14270694
    >Dirk of Killers
    >Hateful Goblins' Boomerang of Magma Hand
    >Metallic Awl-pike
    >Perfected Barbarian's Balm
    >Shuriken of Fertility and Honor

    Looks like an Assassin to me.
    Got my Dirk for the quick kills, but when the going gets tough and the plan has been buggered, I can whip the crazy boomerang for a little distraction/ collateral damage, and shank the target with the awl if I had been disarmed.
    The shuriken is for that little extra protection when you're romancing the target's wife to find out his secret safe combination.
    The Perfected Barbarian Balm would be my ace in the hole. Kept in a small pouch against my skin. If captured, I would break the pouch, releasing the balm against my skin, triggering a barbarian rage effect giving me the strength I need to break free and make my escape.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:36 No.14270802
    >Bastard Sword of Frost Control
    Sweet a badass sword.
    >Bow of the Good Charm of Conjuration
    Could be useful.
    >Deathly Tower Shield of Final Flesh Gysers
    >Massive Dagger
    I wonder how massive.
    >Sphere of the Fortuitous Monk

    So I am a Fighter, cool.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:39 No.14270827
    >Ancestral Adamantine Axe of Blood Chain
    Every word of this weapon drips win.
    >Good Creators' Shoes of Blood and Victory
    I will dance upon your heaped remains.
    >Greater Glowing Mechanism
    Oh, you thought the Lesser Glowing Mechanism hit hard? Motherfucker, you ain't seen nothin' yet!
    >Imperial Animated Banded Mail
    I don't even wear it; it just hangs out around me.
    >Sword of Platinum Shields
    My weapons were designed my Xzibit, apparently.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:43 No.14270888
    Crushers' Medication of Diamond Gyser
    Cutlass of the Sigil of Specter Calling
    Embossed Throwing Knife of Golem Control
    Lyre of the Haunt
    Sphere of Demonic Viciousness Arrows

    I'm a ranger type, though I indulge in a bit of haunting music every now and then. Golems are my bitches, spectres help me out, and my arrows are FREAKING BADASS.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:47 No.14270919
    Blessed Spirits' Axe of Good Sphere
    Heavenly Vipers' Cutlass of the Glamour of Forge Gems
    Imperial Screaming Plate Mail
    Lute of the Incatation of Healing
    Ultimate Throwing Knife

    I could take or leave my axe, my cutlass, and my lute, but my armour screams FOR THE EMPRAH and noone beats my knife.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:48 No.14270931
    >Make fifty ego back ups and five dormante alpha forks.

    At least when I die, another me will get to keep up these suicidal quests...

    >A rail assault rifle and 300 spare rounds.

    I'm not going to have to fight TITAN machines, am I?

    >A synth (android) morph with a really good synth mask and reflex boosters.

    I will get the goods of being in a synth morph without the bio morph haters gonna hate.

    >A really good firewall.

    Because I don't trust that cyberbrains defenses alone.

    >Emergency farcaster.

    I know that I am not immortal. I know too that my "uploading and transfers," involved the death of past me's. At least with this, there will be a up to date me.

    Alight! Ready for the Pandora gate motherfuckers!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:49 No.14270937
    Banded Mail of the Caring Sea Serpent

    Infernal Wolf's Automaton

    Arch-angel's Awl-pike of Fertility Transformation<--WTF?

    Builder's Sphere of the Berserker

    Salve of Dust Bolt
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:54 No.14270996
    I don't think you get the thread.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:55 No.14271004
    Angels' Device
    Celestial Adamantine Medicine of the Conjuration of Specter Summoning (gogo tautology!)
    Glorious Spectres' Blowgun of Ether
    Gray Mechanism
    Unknowable Flaming Elixir

    I am all about the spectres and sometimes the angels. Bitches don't know 'bout my mechanism and my flaming elixir and, frankly, neither do I.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)00:57 No.14271047
    >Celestial Bola
    >Hellish Killers' Mandolin
    >Leather Armor of Control Speaker
    >Screaming Fighters' Vest of Final Ghosts
    >Screaming Two-handed Sword

    Looks like I'm going to be playing a chaotic evil bard with a hat endowed with the power of gods. Bring it on.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:01 No.14271091
    >Infamous Masters' Plate Mail
    What, this plate mail? Yeah, I got it from some dudes. You'd probably know who they were if I told you, but I try not to mention them. People get weird.
    >Monstrous Electrical Machine of Happiness
    What, this box? Oh, you press these buttons and it does stuff. Fun stuff. You, uh, don't want to press THAT button, though.
    >Rugged Partisan
    Me and this lance, we've been through so much shit. You can't even imagine what this lance has been in, around, and through. I mean, hell, even I don't know what all has happened to this lance. Let's just say if you can imagine something that could be killed, this lance has probably killed it.
    >Shuriken of the Witchery of Blinding
    Sometimes people get all wise on me. They're all like, "ooh, look at me, I'm casting spells like an enormous faggot!" Then I whip out this guy and they're all like, "oh god my eyes what did you do to me".
    >Trident of the Drunken Victor
    What? Oh, that thing? Well, I don't like to use it except in emergencies. Let's just say it's why I always carry an emergency supply of alcohol. Juuuuuust in case.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:01 No.14271098
    Damned Dancing Drum
    Divine Ghosts' Shield
    Quilted Armor of the Crafter
    Sagely Healers' Coat
    Thinkers' Hammer of Blasphemous Ooze

    I'd say I'm pretty well set
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:03 No.14271120
    >Unspeakable Medicine
    That sounds like a painful cure.
    >Disrupting Shooting Breast Plate
    My shots cause distraction when I wear this while firing.
    >Evil Amazons' Crossbow
    Is it an Evil Crossbow that the Amazons possessed or a Crossbow possessed by Amazons that are evil?
    >Past Howling Cone of Light Shields
    An ancient semi-conical horn that summons shields.
    >Sea Serpent's Arrow
    Arrow with Sea Serpent properties? Maybe it allows a bow to work under water, and/or has poison?

    It seems I am a crossbow using killer of some sort.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:03 No.14271123
    *A copy of my Grimoire with my master lightning spell (spell swing=15) and random illusion spells.
    *Eight 4 oz knifes to be used with my Telekinesis (psichokinesis=20, telekinesis=15).
    *A sac of pebbles.
    *A staff which is more like a weak walking stick than a staff.
    *Tatty robes and miss-matching shoes.

    How well do you think I will make it through this quest /tg/?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:04 No.14271126
    Balm of Bear Summoning
    So i can summon bears, Obviously

    Cowardly Eaters' Tower Shield of the Worldly Rune of Crystal

    Intelligent Dragons' Sword
    My sword was crafted by an ancient race of highly intelligent dragons

    Rulers' Arrow of Transform Health
    Transforms enemy into a different creature dependant on how much health they have.

    Vorpal Lute of Frost Net
    A badass lute which entangles and freezes
    >> galvanicAutogenitor !!lh2+0hXHAN0 03/17/11(Thu)01:06 No.14271155
    >Aquatic Blowgun
    I guess it's a blowgun that shoots darts accurately and at normal velocity, but only underwater?
    >Belt of Acid Breaths
    Fuck yeah, grants me the breath weapon of a Copper Dragon
    >Crazed Caster's Buckler
    Uh... a shield that grants a bonus to casting, or defensive casting?
    >Drum of Bear Seeking
    A drum that gives a natural 20 on any Track skills made to track bears.
    >Orb of Force Geysers
    An orb that creates vertical pillars of water, except the water is pure force.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:07 No.14271163
    Bodily Partisan
    Cudgel of Become Drake
    Demonic Archmagi' Throwing Knife of the Undead's Exorcism of Magic
    Giant Sandals
    Spiritual Gothic Salve of the Rune of Alter Tiaras

    I shall be a wandering tiara repairman searching for the king's true love, a woman whose feet fit in the sandals. I've also got some sweet weapons
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:09 No.14271182
    Apparatus of Stone Circle
    An unusual apparatus made of stone. In a circle.

    Arch-angel's Pipes of the Cunning Spectre's Charm of Lineage
    I dont even need to justify this.

    Glorified Yellow Ointment of Ruthlessness Rain
    Holy ointment composed of rain infected with yellow fever

    Glowing Cube of Sapphire and Compassion
    A mystical blend of both raw emotion and beautiful gem some how resulting in a tacky piece of junk

    Studious Triton's Arrow of Bone Auras
    The best arrows ever.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:11 No.14271203
    >Amulet of Arch-angel Seduction
    Allows the wearer to seduce Arch-angels, duh
    >Foul Golden Sword
    Bad smelling but good looking decorative sword
    Good Animated Bow of Good Clouds
    >Good Aligned sentient bow from the sky kingdom
    Necromancer's Lyre of Leaders
    >Summons skeletons and inspires undead
    Scimtar of Dust Conjuration
    >Scimtar that summons dust torndaoes when swung.

    This sounds like a fun game
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:14 No.14271231
    Fine Diadem of Aquatic Cleverness Circle
    >my fluid needs are increased, but I'm extremely cunning
    Ghostly Leather Armor of Water Arrows
    >never run out of arrows, phasing
    Haunted Titans' Voluge of Otherworldly Health Zone
    >shitload of health
    Unknowable Axe of the Rune of Dust Control
    >totem to control dust that no one ever knows I have
    Warhammer of Disruption and Serenity
    >when I hit you, your body is disrupted and your mind cleansed

    pretty hot shit.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:17 No.14271271
    >Future Sharp Salve of Frost Deflection
    not sure bout this one
    >Mystical Drake's Partisan of the Drunken Tritons' Evocation of Dexterity
    super sweet magic water dragon spear

    >Sadistic Berserker's Bola
    sweet they cant run away from fighting me

    >Sea Serpents' Greaves of Deflect Mana
    sweet i can deflect mana

    >Thunderous Armguard of the Cat
    i think it produces thunder when i am attacked and
    gives me cat like reflexes

    i think im a dex based sea dragoon

    Overall i fucking rock i will kick all adventures asses
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:19 No.14271296

    This post literally made me "lol"

    Thank you anon.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:20 No.14271300
    >Crushers' War-axe of Bone Rains
    Axe that can summon razor sharp bone fragments from on high.
    >Haunted Bar of Conjure Platinum
    It's a short rod that can dispense small pieces of platinum but only if the ghost within is appeased.
    >Heavenly Clear Buckler
    Almost-Invisible shield that's light as air
    >Knife of the Lesser Hex of Hypnotise Monk
    Instead of stabbing I can convince Holy-men of minor illusions.
    >Two-handed Sword of Future Benevolence
    Sword that heals later?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:22 No.14271325
    >Blue Gear
    Apparently all of my equipment is blue.
    >Dagger of Ice Transformation
    Either my dagger transforms you to ice, or it is capable of transforming ice into pleasing shapes. Hard to say which is better.
    >Medicine of the Good Traveller
    I will share my healing with all in need.
    >Red Potion of Spirit Negation
    Phantoms and ghosts, beware!
    White Flail of Sludge
    This just sounds messy. And slightly obscene.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)01:30 No.14271399
    >Buckler of the Casting of Good and Brilliance

    I'm not sure if this makes me smarter, or goody-two-shoes, or both. Or maybe it just blinds people with its holy light?

    >Dire Wolves' Saber

    Okay, now we're talking. A saber that summons dire wolves, I guess.

    >Endless Tower Shield of Haunted Caring

    WTF? An Endless Tower Shield? I guess that means it's indestructible? And Haunted Caring? Sounds emo. I've got an indestructible emo shield. Wonderful.

    >Endless Vorpal Mace of Stone Breath

    Vorpal ...mace? Iunno. But it also is endless. And it breathes ... stones. Good if I face a stone golem, I guess.

    >Wise Archmagi' Earrings

    I will pierce my ears now with this letter opener if it makes me into a wise archmagus. This one is worth it.
    >> Rip 03/17/11(Thu)02:17 No.14271847
    >Brew of Sludge Wall
    I pour this revolting brew on the ground and it bubbles up into a wall of thick sludge. It'll probably dry up in the sun, I'll need to remember to brew up a fresh supply from time to time, and... well, surrounding a camp with it might not be pleasant, but very useful.

    >Deathly Divinities' Cutlass of the Divine Beater
    Having came from a deathly divinity, it's guaranteed to inflict mortal wounds - if I don't manage to kill someone during battle, they'll die from the festering injury afterwards. This particular divinity is pleased by messy killings, so the cutlass has a nasty mace-like pommel to beat people to death with.

    >Swimmers' Leather Armor of Platinum Conjuration
    Looks a bit like a vintage diving suit. It's leather, but becomes platinum when I perform the correct spell. It's also supernaturally light, and the helmet can become sealed - there's an air tank on the back. Very useful for crossing water, but it's also handy for noxious enviroments.

    >Unspeakable Bar of Muck Walls
    Striking a wall with this crowbar causes a section of the wall to rot into unspeakable filthy muck. Handy to have that sealable armour to wade though it.

    >Wonderful Insect's Greaves
    Insects fly so these greaves, made from the carapace of an enchanted bug, provide limited flight. Probably not as resilient as metal greaves, but the spiky look is quite cool.

    I can see my class as being some sort of steampunkish devotee of a disease/decay god.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)02:20 No.14271880
    >Charm of the Minor Divination of Water
    So...wait, I can tell the future of water? Well, that might be useful when we get to the Water Temple, buuut...

    >Doomed Gnomes' Voluge
    ...Right, so I'm not a bard...

    >Evil Rapier of Benevolence
    I'll put that right next to my Infernal Gun of Charity.

    >Forbidden Crossbow
    Inscribed within are these words in Elvish: He whom uses this crossbow shall be b& for three days...

    >Happy Wanderers' Scythe
    So, I am supposed to use it on contented travelers, or do I in turn become appeased by having it as I move from place to place...

    I can't help but think I bought all of these things from a Chinese couple at a flea market.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)02:37 No.14272064
    >>Charismatic Monks' Necklace
    A necklace from a small order of monks, who eagerly serve to help others. Wearing this makes people a little more trusting of you.
    >>Red Harpoon
    This spear on an elastic loop is red. A little flashy, but nothing special.
    >>Ring of Lightning Storms
    Sah-weeeeet. nothing like summoning lightning to turn a battle in your favour.
    >>Ruthless Snakes' Drink
    Surprise! It's poison!
    >>Tower Shield of Fire and Thorns
    A massive barbed shield that in battle bursts into flames, dealing minor fire damage to anyone who attacks from melee range.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)03:15 No.14272372
    >Blowgun of Ether Rings
    A tiny blowgun with nearly invisible barrel extension rings and clamp rings on the side.
    >Imperial Lyre
    A Lyre from the Imperial palace, absolute top-notch
    >Moccasins of the Curse of Negate Cursing
    A curse that prevents swearing?
    >Pants of the Crazed Consumers' Chant of Air
    I can increase greed.
    >Scintillating Pipes
    Pan Pipes that can conjure colorful illusions
    >Royal Victor's Pants of Slime Gushes

    >Sling of the Evocation of Defile Rations
    Turns apples into blasphemous projectile weapons.
    >Wise Caretaker's Flute of the Sigil of Curse Swords
    Prevents weapons in the area around the player
    Bar of Blur Transformation
    I can transform into a blurry critter.
    >Kingly Sharp Anklet
    Stabby ankle thingy?
    >> Omegon 03/17/11(Thu)03:22 No.14272433
    Bola of the Lizards' Conjuration of Breathing
    Eagle's Bar of Lightning Chains
    Endless Archmagi's Buckler of Thawing and Kindness
    Otherworldly Necromancer's Bar
    Studious Wyrms' Claymore of the Hateful Dragons' Sorcery of Good

    Damn, I'll probably just use that sword. It's got two dragons, good, and hate imbued within it. How can I go wrong?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)04:03 No.14272758

    You're going to be the hilarious hobo psychic mage!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)04:14 No.14272806
    >Claymore of Archangel Seduction
    "Hey baby, wanna see my bonus with two-handed weapons?" Yeah, okay, Archangels probably won't show up that often, but hey at least it's still a claymore.
    >Happy Eagle's Chakram
    It makes eagles happy? That's cool, I guess. He could perch on my wrist like a boss.
    >Intelligent Humans' Balm of Darkness Alteration
    I like how they had to specify that it's for Intelligent humans. But yeah, Darkness Alteration sounds fucking useful.
    >Saintly Golden Ring Mail
    Dude, I have holy stuff out the ass. Undead and demons better watch the fuck out.
    >Savage Arch-angel's Anklet
    Must have nabbed this off one of my Archangel bitches while they were sleeping.

    All in all, pretty useful, pretty well-rounded. Now if only I wasn't a weak-as-fuck wizard who has no use for ring mail or a claymore sword.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)04:20 No.14272831
    >Anklet of Spirit Absorbtion
    I assume it lets me absorb outsiders. Sounds useful.

    >Glammered Belt
    Apparently I'm a flaming homo.

    >Lotion of Mystical Dwarves
    A flaming homo whose out for dwarves

    >Partisan of Transform Etherealness
    So I can hide in my anklet.

    >Shoes of Lightning Chain
    Apparently I have shoes made of chain. And that chain is made of lightning. Now I can kick your ass electric bugalo style
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)04:23 No.14272849
    >>Sinner's Bracelet of Silver Nets
    What the shit?
    >Happy Traitors' Club of Splendid Magic
    >Pyramid of Fine Wyrms
    I'm a goddamn dragon pharaoh
    >Screaming Goddesses' Blowgun
    Fucking SKINKS!
    >Chaotic Utensil
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)04:35 No.14272894
    >Armguard of Archmagi Slaying
    I think it only works if there is more than one archmage to kill.

    >Infernal Living Sword of Abyssimal Slyness Disks
    Don't understand a single fucking word this thing says. I don't know what the hell those disk thingies are supposed to do but fucked if I'm going to touch one.

    >Ghostly Runed Mace of the Undead
    I found it in the belly of an ogre. Shit, man, don't ask me.

    >Glowing Warhammer
    Different ogre. I think they were related or something.

    >Sacred Meteoric Armguard
    I commissioned this while I was drunk and it turned out to be pretty cool. Lich archmages talk in scared whispers about my arms.

    >Intelligent Golem's Javelin of the Infamous Undead
    I won this as a prize at some tournament thing and never got around to taking it out of the box. I don't think I ever will because that was over a year ago, and it sounds pretty pissed.

    >Fortuitous Red Pipes of the Witchery of Control Heat
    It is seriously the most amazing bong I've ever used in my entire life. It always smells like new car and it's eternally full of ice cold water that remains absolutely pristine.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)04:47 No.14272921
    >Apparatus of Diamond Hail
    Makes it hail diamonds? Or hail that really fucking hurts? Supar weather controller? Perhaps I can rain (hail) down destruction on pissant little villages unless they do what I want.

    >Dancing Throwing Knife
    Always good to have a guard dog.

    >Dirk of Magma
    I see cauterized, cut throats. Awesome

    >Joiners' Sitar
    Oh, I see now, I'm a bard. My enchanted lute charms and befriends people to my cause. Which may or may not be wanton destruction.

    >Wonderful Lyre of Earth Field
    No clue. Sounds like a hippie's wet dream, though. I'm going to claim I killed a high-level druid and took her stupid harp.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)04:51 No.14272935
    >Accursed Greaves of Hunger Wall
    Said to have belonged to a dread necromancer who would cannibalize others to absorb their spirits.
    >Insane Felines' Hatchet
    This axe is made out of 100% organic cat
    >Keen Trident of the Archer
    We're going to need a bigger bow
    >Quilted Armor of the Clever Golem
    If he was so cleaver he'd still have his armor
    >Royal Archmagi's Philter
    Hell if I know what it does but it's magical and he's not getting it back
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)04:53 No.14272945
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    >Instant Sphere of Snake Seduction
    No, don't take it off the mantle, please. I met my wife with it, but I don't need it anymore because she loves me for who I am, and using it now just makes her go into heat. Seriously, don't fucking touch it, my ribs still hurt from the last time someone fucked with it.

    >Holy Silencer's Drink
    Holy Silencer is a famous bard with cleric levels. His energy drink glows with an unearthly light and tastes like passion fruit. It'll serve me well on my quest.

    >Serene Serpents' Axe of Assailing Alteration
    It was, uh... it was a wedding gift from her parents. I'm still not sure if it's a threat or not. Good axe, though.

    >Chakram of the Hex of Absorbs Strangulation
    This one was from her grandfather. Wraps around the neck of whatever it hits and leeches the life right out of them.

    >Portable Tower Shield of the Sylvan Ghost
    Eh, my dad's a, uh... he's a bard. I think I'm his 47th kid or something. So this sort of thing with my wife... it runs in the family. He also has a very large network of uh, friends, and he called in a favor or two for this bitching shield. Thanks, dad.

    So basically I'm a human fighter with a snake waifu. Sounds good.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:00 No.14272982
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    >Crazed Berserkers' Crown
    I am the king of Berserkers!
    >Glorified Meteoric Hatchet of the Eagle
    Some kind of awesome throwing axe for when assholes don't face me in melee obviously.
    >Hatchet of Titan Slaying
    Well titans are kind of assholes, having an axe for that is going to be handy.
    >Mystical Glammered Mechanism of Summon Barbarian
    Fuck yes, I can summon my warband anywhere I may go.
    >Sycthe of Bronze Sphere
    Wait, isn't that the same shit that The Nameless One uses? I have that but as a weapon!? Holy hell this is the best Berserker Ever!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:03 No.14272998
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    >Cunning Drake's Greaves
    The greaves of 'Cunning Drake' the most cunning person since Oxford professor of cunning resigned from his position in what was to be known as the most cunning plan to acquire wealth ever conceived.

    >Infernal Elves' Pendant
    Blast those infernal elves. Still, they make nice pendants

    >Pin of Diamond Cloud
    The most treasured artefact the guild of seamstresses held. Till I took it.

    >Sphere of Force Beams
    Really now. Not the most subtle of items. Suppose I should put it on the end of a staff, wear a large collared cape and grow a goatee before shooting it off at peasants whilst laughing maniacally.

    >Villainous Destroyers' Tool
    I have a villainous destroyers' "Tool". There's always a rude joke somewhere. Not sure what I would need it for. Perhaps scaring young girls.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:06 No.14273006
    >Crazed Dwarves' Awl-pike
    A fine weapon. Not much to say.

    >Contraption of the Undead
    I didn't know the undead had the intelligence to make devices, and I don't know what this particular one does, but... it might prove to be useful.

    >Flail of Summon Amazons
    A fine weapon and a summoning spell for the price of one!

    >Helmet of Great Exorcism of Conjuration
    Hm. Should come in handy against mages.

    >Leather Armor of Spirit Zone
    Depending on what exactly the spirit zone is, it might be very useful or very problematic.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:10 No.14273030
    >Blasphemous Warhammer
    Jokes aside, it will probably prove to be a good weapon.

    >Chain Mail of Call Amazon
    Chainmail = good
    Chainmail that can call goddamn Amazons to my aid = holy shit

    >Disrupting Electrical Shield
    At first, I thought it was a shield that disrupts electricity. Then I realized it is an electrical shield that disrupts. Something. Hopefully spells.
    It will be useful.

    >Pants of Breakers
    I'm not sure who the Breakers are or were, but them pants sure are comfy.

    >Sylvan Defender's Medication
    I'm not a sylvan, and I'm not defending anything, but the medicine might just happen to save my life at some point. Alternatively, a sick sylvan might guard some place or other.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:12 No.14273035
    >Bracer of Ruby

    A bracer made out of ruby. I guess it is valuable.

    >Happy Beaters' Gear of Sylvan Benevolence

    Special gear to help me masturbate. Just what I need.

    >Howling Hammer

    A hammer that howls loudly when swung.

    >Lizards' Gauntlet

    Protective gauntlets, but are probably itchy.

    >Monstrous Rugged Brew

    I guess it is to be used with my Happy Beaters' gear.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:14 No.14273044
    >Blue Tower Shield of Dexterity
    So, my brother got me this blue tower shield, and it doesn't hamper my mobility. Pretty cool.
    >Demonic Quarrel
    Granddad found it on one of his adventures. There was a matching crossbow, but he and his companions thought it was a good idea to keep them apart.
    >Evil Meteoric Gauntlet of the Charismatic Serpent
    This one I took myself, from a serpent-cult leader. It makes me all dark and brooding, so my friends don't let me wear it. Still, the bard reckons it's forged from meteoric iron, which is probably why it holds an enchantment so well.
    >Pill of the Messiah
    Supposedly this will turn the swallower into the saviour of the world. I'm saving it for when something really nasty.
    >Royal Ogre's Quilted Armor of Seek Snakes
    You have no idea how badly this smells. It's also about five times too big. Seriously, it's like a tent was rolled in sweat and horse shit for days that guides you to the nearest snake.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:15 No.14273048
    > Celestial Vorpal Harpoon

    > Courageous Bears' Cube of the Ethereal Dragon
    Gotta be honest, I have no idea what the fuck this thing does.

    > Humanoid's Brew
    Fuck you, it helps me relax. You try facing the hordes of hell every day without a goddamn drink now and then.

    > Monstrous Spectres' Hauberk of Arch-angel Slaying
    I can't even fucking wear this thing. Tell me why I'm hauling the goddamn thing around again?

    > War-axe of Time Chains
    Controlling the personal time frame of whatever I hit with it is great- it's basically a one-hit kill on anything that ages because I can accelerate its aging to the point that it's dead of old in a couple seconds. I can also slow them down to the point of being immobile if I want them a live. More useful than the harpoon, but I like the harpoon better.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:19 No.14273064
    >Abyssimal Gray Machine of Fine Crystal
    ...Abyssimal? That aside, I'm not sure a machine made out of crystal is a good choice for an adventurer. Of course said crystal might be extremely durable and shatter-proof, so what the hell. I'll take it.

    >Contraption of the Haunted Wanderers' Conjuration of Misfortune
    ...so I have a thingie that causes bad luck. Alright, I can roll with that.

    >Glorified Pants
    Not as good as they are made out to be.

    >Mystic Crafters' Draught
    Good thing to have if I ever decide to make myself a magic item.

    >Ultimate Orb
    Why am I going on this quest, anyway? Seems I already have the potential objective.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:40 No.14273165
    >Coat of Terror and Family
    once per day, summon my mother to nag my enemies to death within a 3-square burst... Will save DC 25 for half damage

    >Bow of the Celestial Sigil of Slay Humanoid
    Fuck you, Orlando Bloom!

    >Green Orb of Stealth and Intelligence
    I'll be a better ninja than half the cast of Naruto will ever be.

    >Ancestral Evoker's Moccasins of Cursing Absorbtion
    I just need a Scroll of Detect Niggers and it'll be all cool.

    >Illuminated Giant Tower Shield
    I can totally use this as a mount, you guys!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:49 No.14273214
    >>Unjust Spirits' Knife
    Well, that is a bit... evil
    >>Arrow of Call Wyrm
    This one will be fun to use!
    >>Cloak of Hypnotise Casters
    Definately going to be useful for taking care of those pesky sorcerors.
    >>Bracelet of Demonic Barbarism
    Starting to think that I might be the BBEG..
    >>Royal Glowing Banded Mail of the Sorcery of Death
    Yeah, im the BBEG.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:51 No.14273227
    >Box of Angry Arch-angels
    Dude... I mean... duuuuuuuuude.

    >Exalted Draught
    I have draught in a bottle, so countries fear me, lest I ruin their crops forever.

    >Immovable Box
    I left this at home. It came with the box of angels, but I couldn't move it.
    One day I will unlock its secrets.

    >Kingly Quester's Codex
    So, I am a kingly quester with my very own codex? I am a paladin king with a quest and a box of angels to serve my new kingdom!

    >Unjust Titans' Pyramid
    The titansl have granted me a pyramid, but they are unjust so I won't use it until I earn it. Then it shall be my home.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)05:54 No.14273246
    Deathly Animated Shield

    It moves... barely.

    Intelligent Krakens' Vest of Magic Absorbtion

    Wonderful. Maybe I can use it as a tarp for my gear.

    Ogres' Greaves of Muck Sphere


    Sword of Crystal Balls

    Those seers are gonna be pissed when they see what i did with their gifts.

    War-axe of Mud


    So prediction and mud-slinging. Freelance reporter saves the day from overweight monstrosities of madness.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)06:01 No.14273290
    >Accursed Scythe of Truth Transformation
    This seems pretty magical, a cursed scythe that transforms truth. So I can create truth, thereby changing the past with it. Nice. Shame about the curse.

    >Blasphemous Creators' Partisan
    A partisan created by a blasphemer. I'm not one to judge a person's beliefs, but it's a useful polearm.

    >Cudgel of Crystal Blasts
    It's a magical club which hits with a crystal blast. Sharp glass shards for that extra bit of lethality.

    >Glammered Gown of Fire Lances
    What a pretty piece of clothing. Which magically grants the wearer lanced imbued with fire magic.

    >Serene Cat's Breast Plate
    In case I acquire a cat and train it for battle?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)06:01 No.14273292
    >Ancestral Thundering Breast Plate
    Not too heavy, not to light. Lets me bring pride to my family name while filling all that stand in my way with dread. Just the way I like it.
    >Moccasins of the Accursed Dreamer
    Gravity? Fuck it. I make my own goddamn gravity bitch!
    >Pipes of Elves
    I don't play much, but its good enough to send out a call for help or to fake back up.
    >Sword of Gold Web
    For when I need to use steal or fight in tight spaces. Sure it looks like a wall flower, but a little flash cam go a long way. That and I love pissing off the drow I stole it from.
    >Unknowable Howling Voluge of the Rite of Sound
    Shock and awe baby! Between my armor and this baby I can break even the most steadfast of ranks. Even I'm a little scared of her, but when I need to bring the noise I can sound like a fucking army charging in, and everyone learns that they do not pursue.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)06:04 No.14273311
    Accursed Meteoric Mattock of Perfected Ice
    Ancestral Destroyers' Mace
    Aquatic Archers' Boomerang
    Barbaric Crusader's Earrings
    Glaive of the Glorified Rite of Summon Golem

    Let's rock.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)06:05 No.14273314
    >I have draught in a bottle

    That is where one usually finds a draught. Although, sometimes you will also find them in mugs or glasses.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)06:08 No.14273333
    >Warhammer of Frost and Timelessness
    Wow. Sounds awesome!
    >Otherworldy Utensil
    I guess I can make cuisine that's out of this world.
    >Harp of Frost Control
    Sure is a lot of frost.:S
    >Buckler of the Joiner's Conjuration of magic
    >Ancestral Spear
    Sounds badass enough.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)06:09 No.14273334
    >Thunderous Atal of Bone Disks
    Sounds pretty cool. I'm thinking, razor edged bone disks that I can propel at such force they can cut through swathes of tightly-packed, weak-armoured enemies.
    >Arch-angels' War-axe
    Choppity Chop.
    >Drink of the Eternal Rune of Conjuration
    Sounds trippy.
    >Holy Icy Buckler
    >Screaming Nomads' Warhammer
    DIE SCUM! *splat*
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)06:45 No.14273531
    >> Courageous Bears' Cube of the Ethereal Dragon
    >Gotta be honest, I have no idea what the fuck this thing does.
    It is the Care Bear equivalent to the Cosmic Cube.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)06:48 No.14273546
    >Bears' Suit
    >Spined Tiara of the Splendid Sigil of Silver
    >Spiritual Bow of Conjure Spirit
    >Undead's Buckler
    >Unspeakable Immovable Automaton of Dwarves

    So, I'm an archer drag-queen with a robot that doesn't actually move or talk, but was made by dwarves. My only question is that Bears' Suit. I didn't know they had football in D&D
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)06:57 No.14273573
    >Cursed Spear of the Glamour of Compassion

    I'm not quite sure what to make of this one.

    >Giant Tower Shield of Platinum Storm

    Whatever I'm facing, bring it the fuck on. This'll keep me safe.

    >Kingly Bodily Buckler

    Okay, I guess I have two shields. In case, I dunno, my shield of the platinum storm proves too big for hallways or something.

    >Spectral Bears' Quarrel

    This worries me. What is a ghost bear doing with a crossbow? And why do I only have the ammunition?

    >Sturdy Breast Plate

    Short, sweet, and to the point.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:17 No.14273655
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    >Bullet of Demon Calling
    kk a gun would be nice. Who knows.
    >Demonic Earrings of Sapphire Ball
    Another demon thingy.
    >Ornate Harpsichord
    I love Harpsichors, maybe demons too.
    >Splendid Gauntlet of the Savage Charm of the Animated Gloves
    HAHA, oh god I laughed.
    >Wondrous Screamers' War-axe
    And finally the demonic weapon.

    I love this set.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:23 No.14273669
    >Chaotic Thunderous Dagger of Goblins
    Goblins make the craziest shit!
    >Corruptor's Voluge of Vipers
    Probably a gift from my friend. <3 Just wearing it makes me think of him.
    >Foul Mechanism
    Probably the item that started my quest. I am the insane artificer. It's me.
    >Glorious Necklace of Infamous Dreamers
    And now I'm Nox.
    >Tool of Desire Wall
    Wait. I can make people desire walls...Or is this a tool that desires walls itself? Is it a wall made out of 'Tools of Desire'?

    Either way, gay villainous artificer. I can dig it.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:26 No.14273680
    >Abyssimal Wolves' Device of the Cat's Lineage
    >Barbaric Hearers' Leather Armor
    >Chaotic Cudgel
    >Distant Green Greaves
    >Spiritual Healer's Belt of Barbarian Seduction

    Where do I even begin. The cudgel's obviously my weapon, so I'm Chaotic. The rest seems to show that I am a healer with a fetish for big, burly barbarians...Nnnngh...
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:27 No.14273686
    >Haunted Ogre's Shoes
    The shoes of a haunted ogre? The shoes of an ogre that are now haunted? Do these even fit?

    >Howling Pyramid
    How the fuck am I going to carry this around? And what does it do besides scream?

    >Living Ointment
    Not sure I want my NeoSporin talking to me or deciding it wants to be somewhere besides my wounds.

    >Ornate Warhammer of the Doomed Sorcery of Gender-reversal
    Fuck yeah fuck yeah...wait...gender reversal? Mine or the target's? Why is the sorcery doomed; is it dying out? Fading? Ah well, it'll be good for trolling, trolling trolls, and fetish fuel.

    >Ruthless Dreamers' Tiara
    The tiara of someone who ruthlessly dreams?

    You know what? I always get screwed on these.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:31 No.14273704
    >Cowardly Serpents' Warhammer of the Dragon
    I'm worried about the cowardly prefix, otherwise my weapon is set up
    >Divine Chain Mail of Fire Assault
    >Glowing Ring
    Less useful, but okay
    >Perfect Immovable Shield
    >Spectral Gibberer's Gown of Honor Cloud
    Dunno what it does, but sounds gook.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:31 No.14273706
    >Feline's Plate Mail
    Alright kitty you are on point.

    >Glorious Axe of the Abjuration of Transform Bone
    i have no idea how this works but it looks choppy
    >Undead's Automaton
    yes minion carry my stuff.
    >Undead's Machine
    i hope this is some fashion of vehicle.
    >Warhammer of the Charismatic Conjurer
    so its like beer goggles in hammer form? sweet.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:33 No.14273714
    >Fine Lotion of the Fortuitous Spell of the Caring Eagles
    what. the. fuck. what is this, a viral campaign by olay?
    >Forbidden Eagles' Ring Mail of the Ancient Berserker
    more eagles. at least i have armor. and moisturizer, this shit chafes...
    >Future Hatchet
    fuck your past hatchets, i have a future hatchet, all lasers and stuff
    >Illuminated Yellow Bastard Sword of the Conjuration of Storage
    welp, that the shelter and light dealt with. and the sword.
    >Shield of the Fighter
    as opposed to, say, shield of the non-combatant target.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:43 No.14273753
    >Animated Shoes of Marvelous Intelligence
    >Club of Nondetection Alteration
    It's K I'm detected all the time
    >Demonic Adamantine Torc of Transform Romance
    What is this i don't even
    >Dirk of the Unspeakable Journeyman
    >Fortuitous Bear's Mechanism
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:44 No.14273764
    Ghostly Living Lotion of the Demon
    Hopefully the demon is a succubus and makes the skin feel nice, otherwise it basically applies itself

    Salve of the Illuminated Sorcery of Absorbs Flame
    Useful for travelling in areas with fire attacks or very hot areas

    Savage Bodily Balm
    Possibly tribal medicine of some sort

    Wonderful Gray Medication
    Gray goo that probably cures any disease by transforming someone into an intelligent gelatinous cube

    Wondrous Adamantine Pill of Flesh Touch
    For that golem/warforged who always wanted to be a man
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)07:45 No.14273768
    >>Demonic Adamantine Torc of Transform Romance
    Well hello there~
    >Fortuitous Bear's Mechanism
    Care to 'assemble our mechanisms', as they say?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)08:06 No.14273848
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    >Bear's Quilted Armor of Good Blast
    >Blasphemous Longsword of Summon Gods
    >Damned Creator's Brew
    >Dirk of Family Assaults
    >Mattock of Water Blast

    mfw this sounds better than my current character's gear
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)08:53 No.14273998
    Arrow of Copper Arrows
    >Its an arrow...THAT SHOOT ARROWS. YES YES.
    Breast Plate of the Working of Create Robes
    >Communist Sweatshop Breastplate. Adorned with the image of a Roman Goddess and a "swish" I guess.
    Clear Shield
    Necklace of Warning Absorbtion
    >Life Alert: Every Senior Citizen should wear one.
    Splendid Chameleons Necklace of the Divine Sorcery of Dust
    >Got nothing. You got me.
    >> wraithstrike 03/17/11(Thu)09:38 No.14274152
    Ancestral Climbers' Mace
    (So I'm apparently of the mountain folk)
    Evil Knight's Drum
    (Why do I have this?)
    Ghostly Pill
    (Only the one? That's going to be a problem)
    Holy Gray Hatchet
    (How do I have a holy weapon and an evil artifact?)
    Plate Mail of Magma Negation
    (Hells yeah.)
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:01 No.14274280
    >Banded Mail of Blood Absorbtion
    Touch my armor. I dare you. I double dare you. I double dog dare you.
    >Kingly Archmagi's Sitar
    This is gonna rock.
    >Mystical Burning Warhammer of Beaters
    Sounds good, but which beaters? Must remember to clean.
    >Two-handed Sword of Sound Beam
    If only I had more arms...
    >Worldly Electrical Medicine of Flesh Storms
    That sounds incredibly painful.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:05 No.14274299
    >Agile Silencers' Throwing Knife of the Cruel Demon
    sounds useful...
    >Armguard of Ruby Beams
    laser armguard? cool.
    >Courageous Rulers' Banded Mail of Force Arrows
    >Damned Ogres' Sphere of Vicious Beasts
    Animal allies!
    >Sacred Cutlass of the Abjuration of Negate Gold
    and this does what exactly...
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:17 No.14274354
    Some sort of spell-assasin

    >Accursed Sea Serpents' Cube
    Whoever touches it will be poisoned by a snake?

    >Blessed Thundering Dirk of the Calling of Haunting
    A holy dagger?

    >Compassionate Amazons' Hatchet
    Axing people with compassion?

    >Cone of the Working of Become Ghost
    This might be useful if I can turn back to normal.

    >Trident of Gnome Killing
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:18 No.14274362
    >Barbarian's Trident of the Invocation of Defile Knives
    So a big ol' trident that let's me go berserk and... defiles knives? Mine or the enemy's? I'm pretty sure that makes the knives more dangerous.
    >Deadly Embossed Arrow of the Royal Sigil of the Sturdy Knives
    Only one arrow, but I guess it's more of a symbol than a weapon.
    >Ghosts' Blowgun
    I can now annoy ghosts.
    >Humanoid's Lotion of the Exorcism of Worth and Courage
    The lotion gets rid of worth and courage in the user. What the fuck. Is it possible to apply it to my weapons without getting on my self?
    >Royal Envenomed Tiara
    I have a girl crown. It is poisonous.

    So the weapon least likely to screw me is the tiara. I need to somehow convince the people trying to kill me to wear it long enough for the poison to work.

    I'm fucked.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:20 No.14274369
    >Adamantine Pendant of Glibness Absorbtion
    Okay...so nobody can talk me into anything? Sweet.

    >Elven Lord's Leather Armor
    Well, it's from an Elven Lord, it MUST be good. Right?

    >Haunted Sycthe of Fire Storms
    Sounds actually quite awesome.

    >Leaders' Dirk of Seduce Creators
    What the hell is THIS?

    >Vest of Holding Transformation
    Wait...what can this Vest do? Transform me into something? Hold a Transformation Spell that transforms me once I don it?

    Somehow I get the feeling that I'm in Exalted...
    >> Anomynous 03/17/11(Thu)10:25 No.14274395
    >Apparatus of the Divination of Triton Control
    I must learn how to control a moon of Saturn...
    >Balm of Sound and Cleverness
    ...by using clever words.
    >Celestial Gothic Medication
    Of course, this might be hampered because of odd lifestyle choices and/or drugs the moon partakes in.
    >Elemental Icy Shirt of Power Transformation
    The best way, therefore, to infiltrate myself is to become MR. COOL ICE himself.
    >Lovers' Salve
    This is where a good GM fades to black.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:31 No.14274421
    >Chakram of the Curse of Victory
    Anyone I hit with this is cursed with victory. Masochism ahoy!
    >Generous Gnome's Sling
    Bullets turn to coin. So I'm a masochistic philanthropist?
    >Ring of the Undead
    Who can become undead.
    >Saber of Wondrous Sadness Gysers
    He sad. HE SAD.
    >Strangler's War-axe
    After the other stuff, this is just fine and dandy.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:33 No.14274431
    >>Celestial Dagger of Control Darkness
    >>Device of the Incatation of Transform Tactics
    AH something that transforms stuff? I hope?
    >>Electrical Apparatus
    Uhhh what?
    >>Philter of the Unjust Hearer
    Ghost Sound device?
    >>Sacred Gnome's War-axe of Negate Stealth
    Oh okay got it my job is to fuck up rogues.

    Alright my quest is to kill 1,000 sneaky gits for being sneaky gits.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:33 No.14274434
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    >Throwing Axe of Conjure Resurrection
    Sounds fun and dangerous if misused.

    >Ring Mail of Wind Chains
    Sounds somewhat protective...but...not...wind chains?

    >Cursed Feline's Hatchet
    ...Does the hatchet turn me into a cat person?! Fuck.

    >Creator's Cube
    It does everything

    >Partisan of Wise Swimmers
    So a trident that helps me swim faster and communicate with fish...Thanks for making me Aquaman (pic related)
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:34 No.14274439
    >Atal of Summon Arch-angels
    Fuck yes heavenly homies.
    >Claymore of the Witchery of Performance Negation
    And I can curse my enemies with erectile dysfunction! The true slayer of men.
    >Keen Tool of Flesh Fields
    Fucking drow.
    >Sly Slayers' Harpsichord
    I'm not entirely sure what it does but it sure is useful.
    >Walkers' Elixir of Deflect Cursing
    NO U
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:39 No.14274475
    >Charm of Slay Constructors
    Fuck you construction workers and artisans, I'm coming for your lives.
    >Spear of Deflect Invisibility
    So...anyone that tries to make me invisible, it just doesn't work.
    >Serene Wanderer's Spear of the Just Viper
    Snakes, snakes everywhere!
    >Portable Shoes of Worldly Mud
    Never ending muddy foot prints where ever I go, easy to track.
    >Kraken's Device
    >> Shield 03/17/11(Thu)10:39 No.14274479
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    Tower Shield of Clever Journeymen
    Shield of the Haunted Humanoid
    Shield of the Rite of Clairaudience Conjuration
    Rugged Buckler of Deflect Heat
    Icy Buckler of the Compassionate Priests' Glamour of Dexterity

    >need a shield, anyone?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:46 No.14274510
    >>Helm of the Ghosts
    A helm made of ghosts, serves no purpose beyond looking totally badass

    >>Lesser War-axe
    A good and dwarfy axe, no extra bells and whistles actually even a bit shitty.

    >>Slayer's Sitar of Endless Force Lance
    My sitar solos will not only melt faces, but they will be the sitar solos that pierce the heavens.

    >>Splendid Yellow Awl-pike
    Just to look flash really.

    >>Tower Shield of Royal Insanity
    A tower shield that leads one to believe they are the bastard heir to the throne while they are using the shield.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:51 No.14274532
    Ancient Keen Lotion
    >Banded Mail of Lava and Corruption

    This either protects against them, or is MADE from them. Either way, awesome.

    >Claymore of Control Excellence


    >Golem's Banded Mail

    Worn by my trusty man-servant, Kebo.

    >Ultimate Swimmers' Bracer of the Saints' Ritual of Generosity

    I don't even
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:51 No.14274536
    Accursed Meteoric Amulet of the Hex of Annihilate Traps
    Exalted Purple Bracelet of the Cowardly Nomad's Casting of Motion
    Hatchet of Slime Barriers
    Screaming Spectres' Harp of Good Fish
    Vorpal Bracelet

    My God.. What a clusterfuck of wtf..
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:56 No.14274559
    >Draught of Ooze Gushes
    I turn into a sentient ooze when I drink it?
    >Greaves of Perfection Deflection
    I turn everyone strengths against themselves.
    >Otherworldly Screaming Throwing Knife of Thought Arrows
    >Ring Mail of Air Rain
    >Sycthe of Slime Transformation
    When I slice my foes they become poisoned and turns into oozes after 6 hours. The oozes are hell-bent on killing me for revenge.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:57 No.14274561
    >Angels' Cloak of Dust Transformation
    Sounds like it could be useful.
    >Blowgun of Past Dexterity
    "Past" Dexterity?
    >Cudgel of Conjure Magic
    >Greater Shoes
    Sounds solid.
    >Howling Ring of Control Leaders

    I'm set.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:57 No.14274562
    Hauberk of the Hellish Sorcery of the Spined Temples: when worn it causes all good religious figures to flee

    Hellish Vorpal Boomerang of Slay Demon: sharp metal boomerang with a demon spirit bound to it, he enjoys decapitating people

    Pyramid of the Hunter's Hex of Metal: a small pyramid that curses anything metallic put near it to rust even if this is not normally possible

    Sandals of Great Desire: shoes that look so good on everything that you just want to screw them hard

    Spectral Hatchet of Copper Circle: a ghostly hatchet with a religious symbol on the blade, not much else is known about this weapon
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)10:58 No.14274574
    >Ethereal Vorpal Warhammer
    It shall go "Snickersnack"

    >Belt of Seduce Elf
    Aw yeah.. up to my eyeballs in point-ear ass

    >Giant Diadem of Summon Arch-Angel
    The arch-angel ruins shit for me while I'm knockin' them elf girls two at a time.

    >Invulnerable Coat of Bears
    Oh holy shit... between the angel, the elf ass and my mace that goes "Snickersnack" this marks me as an honorary member of the Bear Calvary!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:00 No.14274584
    >Axe of Titans

    Sounds pretty bad-ass.

    >Hat of Control Crystal

    Situational, but I can see this coming in handy, especially if it can target non-creature crystal.

    >Infamous Corruptor's Knife of the Thinker

    An assassin's knife? Paired with...

    >Kingly Shooting Dirk

    ...a throwing knife? These two seem diametrically opposed to each other.

    >Spined Leather Armor of Humans

    It's wearer polymorphs into the form of a human! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:06 No.14274612
    >Blessed Thunderous Bracer of Archmagi Seduction

    >Great Wyrm's Cube of the Benevolent Crafter

    >Meteoric Tower Shield

    >Saintly Barbarian's Plate Mail of Triton Killing

    >Spectral Boots of Seduce Beasts
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:09 No.14274629
    >Corrupt Queens' Bracer of Lava Blasts
    sure it looks girly, but I can shoot lava like it ain't no thang

    >Eternal Living Bracer of Alter Security
    who needs skill ranks
    >Gray Buckler of Sapphire Webs
    >Mystical Crown of Flesh Aura
    This could be disturbing
    >Sadistic Bears' War-axe of Light Blast
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:12 No.14274638
    >Consumer's Bastard Sword
    Ok, a weapon. Sounds like something that drains life from the user/victims.
    >Distant Crafter's Hatchet of Ethereal Slyness Gush
    Uhhh... ok? I guess I should've asked the merchant what the 'Gush' part actually does.
    >Glorified Medication
    I sure as hell am not going to hold my breath when it comes to this actually curing anything
    >Perfected Hatchet of Kill Titans
    Another hatchet. Dual Wield get!
    >Savage Banded Mail
    Your run-of-the-mill Armor.

    3 weapons, generic armor and sugar pills branded as a panacea. Looks like I'm not gonna get very far.
    >> Dwurfel the Gnome Barbarian 03/17/11(Thu)11:12 No.14274640
    Angry Barbarians' Sword of Intoxication Assault
    Damned Human's Greaves of Good Clouds
    Orb of the Incatation of Clean Masks
    Ring of Conjure Light
    Sturdy Shield

    I'll be damned if this isn't the firmest fucking shield I have ever used.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:14 No.14274649
    >Burning Medicine of the Ritual of Absorbs Disruption
    Probably going to save this for major BBEG fight.
    A. Because I don't like the whole "burning" part
    B. Because absorbing disruption is going to make me fucking hard to stop.
    >Fish's Crown
    I'll probably pawn this.
    >Glaive of the Souls' Ritual of Ooze
    Primary weapon. I assume this will lead to ooze girls somehow and I am OK with this
    >Sphere of Sapphire Shields
    Probably my primary defense.
    >Vorpal Contraption
    THIS. THIS RIGHT HERE. Confirmed for personal fight winning macguffin. Will probably get used once the whole quest in one of those "shit... I'm out of ideas. If I'm gonna die I'm going to die knowing what the Vorpral Contraption actually does" moments.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:16 No.14274659
    Blessed Purple Glaive of Conjure Stone
    Eternal Thundering Garment of Wind Shield
    Instant Sword of Slime Chains
    Splendid Vorpal Earrings
    Unknowable King's Philter of the Chant of Alter Earth

    >Splendid Vorpal Earrings
    this won't possibly end badly

    >Instant Sword of Slime Chains
    Welp, time to retire. It's been fun!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:16 No.14274664
    Elf's Pill
    Elf's Sandals
    Infernal Shirt
    Tonic of the Elven Witchery of the Clever Seer
    Dire Humanoids' Pill of the Damned Dwarf

    ...am...am I a drug dealer?
    >> noko 03/17/11(Thu)11:21 No.14274687
    >Bow of Blessed Mud Aura
    Well I guess if the BBEG is in the swamp I'll pull a solid snake on the whole campaign,
    >Cunning Drakes' Cloak of Haunting and Ruthlessness
    Jesus this sounds so terrifying. Solid snake? More like Solid Snaking my fucking nightmares into the enemies.
    >Elixir of the Greater Witchery of Diamond
    Does this mean I can turn things into newts?
    >Just Titans' Brew
    When I have to absolutely kill every mother fucker in the room they can have a titan of mud and fear. I'll be fucking the solid snake cthulhu nightmare you never had.
    >Scimtar of Absorbing Negation
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:22 No.14274692
    >Bullet of Invisibility Alteration
    One use, possible life saver. Sweet.

    Envenomed Saber
    Always handy

    Machine of Magma Clouds
    I win. Endgame. Boss beaten. Princess saved. Fuck yeah.

    Marvelous Sea Serpent's Pipes of the Ogres'
    Situationally, AWESOME

    Evocation of Virtue

    Vest of the Wyrms
    Good armour

    Bring it
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:22 No.14274694
    > Dart of Sound and Viciousness
    Alright, I have a vicious, sonic throwing weapon
    > Draught of the Fortuitous Witchery of the Ornate Idols
    Some sort of luck potion, may be situational based on what the idols help with?
    > Celestial Giant Buckler
    To me, a celestial shield
    > Automaton of the Glorified Casting of Mud
    And my very own Golem! Ok, pretty sure I'm going to kick some ass at this.
    > Caring Defenders' War-axe of the Sea Serpent's Exorcism of Courage
    Sounds very heroic. So I can stand with my golem, axe and shield in hand as we hold the line against our enemies. Because I can't let myself fail, for the sake of those who depend on me. The only question is, does the axe use my courage to exorcise spirits, or does it exorcise the courage from my enemies? Either way, sounds awesome.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:23 No.14274698
    >> Flaming Hatchet

    So I have a weapon, which is pretty damn good. Yay!

    >> Infamous Insect's Pants of Ruby Gyser

    Insect's.. Pants? How do these even work, pray tell.

    >> Lute of Illuminated Virtue Breaths

    Okay, I have no idea what it does, but it does something. I suppose I have to learn to play lute to find out. This shall be my quest.

    >> Quarrel of Slay Archmagi

    This seems pretty handy. I wonder if liches qualify, because that would be superb. I need to find a crossbow to use this, or perhaps I could be a bad-ass battlebard and fire it with my lute.

    >> Titan's Throwing Axe of Negate Sapphire

    Sapphires begone!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:27 No.14274726
    >Courageous Joiners' Peripat of the Rune of Simplicity Transformation
    I think I'll need about four different dictionaries before I figure out what this is for.
    >Cowardly Drake's Belt of the Viper
    Ok. Probably has a nice dodge bonus.
    >Dirk of Ghosts
    A weapon. Could've been better.
    >Ethereal Gnome's Salve of Damned Wyrms
    No idea what it does, but I'm sure it won't smell very good.
    >Immovable Flail of the Vipers' Hex of Mud
    A better weapon? Awesome! I'll just be on my way then--- Huh. That's weird... it won't budge.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:39 No.14274801
    >Archers' Plate Mail
    Oh, not too weird.
    >Illuminated Immovable Gauntlet of Control Vipers
    *Somewere in a plane* SLAP! What the fuck was that? SNAKES ON DA MOTHERFUCKING PLANE!
    >Monstrous Necklace
    Oh... this means it is from a monster, is freaking big or is ugly as a minotaur ass?
    >Sphere of Silencers
    So.. im gonna have to push this down someone's throad so i can silence him? or how does this works?
    >Strong Philter
    Oh, good for internet i guess.

    I would roll a merchant, because i would sell all this shit as fast as i could.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:45 No.14274844
    >Contraption of Gold Conjuration
    sweet off to a good start infinite money

    >Final Metallic Harpsichord of Alter Misfortune
    i am guessing i can change one bad thing to another interesting

    >Mechanism of the Insane Berserkers' Witchery of Warning
    so insane berserkers warn me of witchery?

    >Peripat of Kingly Happiness Bolts
    i shoot bolts of pure concentrated joy....

    >Tiara of Voidness Touch
    and i have a tiara that causes a void when i touch things

    a debauched bard who goes around using his items to get what and who he wants them gets rid of them once he is bored via voids?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)11:49 No.14274864
    >Animated Bow
    Cool, so I can set it up and order it to fire, by it's self, I see many uses here.
    >Dancing Cutlass
    I imagine it would be like Gungnir, only a sword instead of a spear, this I thoroughly approve of.
    >Hauberk of Control Animals
    So long as I wear it I can controll any nearby animal, I see no fault in this, rounds up my character as a ranger type quite nicely in fact.
    >Shoes of the Wondrous Spell of Gender-reversal
    I-I-No comment.
    >White Utensil
    I don't know what this is, or how it works but it'll probably be the single most dangerous fucking item ever.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:04 No.14274941
    >>Chakram of Happy Canines
    ...that's a frisbee.

    >>Foul Harpoon of the Humanoid

    It's a harpoon... a smelly harpoon.

    >>Humanoid's Tiara
    Regular bling, eh?

    >>Medicine of the Aquatic Witchery of Seduce Bear
    Honestly? ...I'd rather not.

    >>Potion of Ooze Hands
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:12 No.14274987
    >Destroyer's Flail of Lava and Infamy
    Weapon? Fuck yeaaaar.

    >Unspeakable Breast Plate of the Sacred Calling of the Keen Idols
    Magical armor. I ain't gotta explain shit.

    >Jagged Dart of the Innocent Insects' Illusion of Gold.
    Secondary weapon?

    >Dancer's Gauntlet.
    More armor?

    >Bastard Sword of Cold Field
    Flail, Darts, AND a fuckhueg sword?

    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:18 No.14275032
    >Banded Mail of the Generous Arch-angel
    >Dart of Benevolence Shields
    LG armor set. Wait, I have dart shields? FUCK YES.
    >Barbaric Undead's Pyramid
    My lair.
    >Bear's Atlatl
    >Future Gnomes' Harpoon
    I throw harpoons with an atlatl. A rather unique weapon, I guess. Plus, it's made for a bear, and I'm launching something that's likely got guidance systems embedded.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:24 No.14275068
    >Chaotic Necklace of Good Zone
    This sounds like it activates randomly to generate a force field from evil
    >Courageous Cats' Bullet of the Curse of Flame
    Shoot a foe and he bursts into flames!
    >Fish's Breast Plate of Levitation Negation
    This keeps me from being launched into the air and falling to my death.
    >Shoes of Kill Chameleons
    These aid in killing those foes that spam invisibility.
    >Spiritual Potion of the Villainous Dancer
    Drink in combat and dodge your foes in style.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:25 No.14275071
    >Envenomed Rapier of Hateful Fletchers
    Poisonous and made of unionizing workers
    >Exceptional Massive Shoes
    >Immovable Tool
    >Savage Metallic Scimtar of Sylvan Beaters
    FUCK YOU, ELVES!!!!!!!
    >Villainous Wyrm's Cutlass
    gotta be careful, he probably wants this back
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:31 No.14275103
    >Dragons' Mace of Blood Deflection
    Doesn't need to be cleaned, nice!

    >Green Elixir
    I guess just unlimited supply of Absinth?

    >Green Philter
    Another green... ok, I am lover, not fighter

    >Pants of Flesh Assaults
    Oh, I don't want to wear those, will use them to torture captured enemies

    >Dancing Vest
    Perform (dance) +20
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:36 No.14275160
    >Dragon's Harpoon
    God damn this thing is big.
    >Fine Pyramid of the Infamous Kraken
    Home base
    >Golems' Flail of Doomed Ice
    Useful against fire types
    >Longsword of Sapphire Disks
    When I swing it shoots sharp disks of Sapphire
    >Past Insects' Shield
    I have no idea what is magical about this, anyone else?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:49 No.14275266
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    >Longsword of Sapphire Disks
    >"When I swing it shoots sharp disks of Sapphire"

    You know sapphire could also be a descriptor of a color. Blue discs that your sword hurls at your enemies, now where have I seen that.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:56 No.14275307
    >Awl-pike of Sludge Barriers
    >Happy Spectres' Cube of Scent Negation
    No more worry about sewers for me
    >Infamous Haunts' Sandals
    Sandals? Really?
    >Atal of Sludge Bolt
    Sludge bolt was super effective!
    >Warhammer of the Evocation of Blood and History
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)12:57 No.14275317
    >Flail of Curing and Lust
    A light flail that heals 1d6 damage to whomever it hits and causes uncontrollable lust for the next 1d10 hours
    >Belt of Lava
    Burn off fat. Literally.
    >Shuriken of Mud
    Damage as thrown mud, but with three times the range increment.
    >Mechanism of Blood Gushes
    Known to most people as a 'lathe'
    >Eternal White Moccasins
    Never dirty, never scuff, never wear after labor day
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)13:01 No.14275336
    >Damned Chameleon's War-axe
    This helps my blend in to make it more difficult to hit me.
    Disrupting Clear Sling
    Great against those pesky mages.
    >Haunts' Boots of Sustenance and Kindness
    There is little need to eat or rest when you wear these wonderful boots, they also help in gaining allies.
    >Leather Armor of the Saint
    Holy armour is great when fighting the undead, devils, or demons
    >Sagely Dreamer's Hatchet of the Sylvan Rune of the Compassionate Barbarians
    Umm... It lets me bash in enemy heads with compassion?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)13:09 No.14275393
    >construct of seduce dragon
    ...I have a wing man?
    >Perfect Tower shield of the slayer
    >Blasphemous Voluge
    >Clever Arch-angel's Lute of Ruby Alteration
    He had a reason for making this, a clever one too. I fail to seen his cunning.
    >Clever Carver's Axe of the Sigil of Enlarge Grails
    So, this axe was made to help defend the sigil that enlarges the holy grail?
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)13:18 No.14275443
    >Bear's Plate Mail
    With this comes the strength of a bear!
    >Creators' Dagger of Voidness Gush
    When activated this horrible weapon shoots forth a gush of void.
    >Cube of the Foul Invocation of Sound
    Can be used as a distraction.
    >Howling Hatchet
    The sound suprises people and causes cowering
    >Lordly Ring Mail of Mud Storm
    You got a bow and arrows? can't shoot me through this mud!
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)13:22 No.14275474
    >Banes' Sphere of Conjure Ruby
    I will always have money.
    >Gnomes' Balm
    The cure for anything that irritates you. Like gnomes.
    >Intelligent Bane's Awl-pike of Magic Absorbtion
    Bane was a cool dude. He knows just what is needed.
    >Just Evokers' Medicine
    Those who deserve healing, receive it.
    >Metallic Pyramid
    Camping is no problem. And I'll always have a fulcrum for a lever.
    >> Salamanders Fanbro !!C+aj9Hmz1qe 03/17/11(Thu)13:25 No.14275496
    Crusader's Elixir
    Banded Mail of the Glorious Invocation of Deflection
    Ghost's Belt
    Final Golden Hatchet of Sadism
    Runed Two-handed Sword

    Yeah, I got this
    >> !!xTZrz9SXG81 03/17/11(Thu)13:27 No.14275509
    >Chain Mail of Demon Summoning
    If I take a hit, I get free demonic back up.

    >Cloak of the Exorcism of Death Control
    A bane to Necromancers. What was taken from life and given to these foul casters again exchanges hands.

    >Endless Mattock of the Illusion of Radiance
    Not sure what a mattock is, but It's light is a nice contrast to my dark appearance so far.

    >Greaves of Cowardly Undead
    Starting to notice a theme here. I'm so evil that the undead fear me.

    >Marvelous Lute of the Past Sorcery of Absorbtion
    Come at me, holy mage. But be warned that whatever you may have in store only works once.

    Thanks, OP. You've helped me create my next BBEG
    >> Oberst Viktor Morte !!ykBT/VPi6OO 03/17/11(Thu)13:50 No.14275661
    Benevolent Goddess's Flute
    > This allows me to play songs that make people... happy?
    Evil Spear of Absorbs Sound
    > Nevermind, can't hear songs due to evil spear.
    Hatchet of Desire
    > ... This cannot end well.
    Seer's Earrings of the Perfect Wyrm
    > These earrings allow me to... find this special Wyrm? Is this my quest? Do I just get weird hallucinations sometimes? These are terrible!
    Unknowable Belt of the Hex of Darkness Conjuration
    > So, I presume this belt is hexed to conjure darkness, probably when I don't want it. And if it's unknowable, does that mean that I don't know that it's summoning the darkness? Does that mean I don't know that I'm wearing it? Both?

    My gear is terrible.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)13:56 No.14275687
    >Accursed Immovable Medicine of the Fortuitous Conjuration of Hiding
    Huh, I guess it it some kind of medicine I take that makes me almost invisible but I can't move.
    >Demonic Electrical Scimtar of Kindness Circles
    A demonic weapon! Of Kindness Circles! I guess I am in some children's adventure cartoon.
    >Dire Potion
    I guess it makes me Dire?
    >Elemental Burning Mattock
    Sweet! A Mattock fire elemental
    >Glorified Immovable Tiara
    So I am awesome but can't move, or maybe other people can't move me?

    You know, I think this is an Exalted game...
    >> Oberst Viktor Morte !!ykBT/VPi6OO 03/17/11(Thu)13:59 No.14275706
    Doin' it again. First gear sucked.

    >Clever Souls' Longsword of Dwarven Thought
    A Dwarven artifact, said to increase the cunning of the user. It also increases their intelligence as that they now realize the superiority of Dwarven tunnelling and pastries.
    >Messiah's Sphere
    I'm not quite sure what this is or does, but it sounds amazing... or perhaps just a reason that tons of baddies want to kill me.
    >Philter of Venom Storm
    Fortunitely I have this love potion that also poisons them, so that I may make my enemies love me, and then die.
    >Prismatic Boomerang of Hellish Gibberers
    Presumably when this strikes a target, it fills their mind with the insane whisperings of a thousand daemons, driving them utterly insane and wanting to do anything to stop the maddened whispers.
    >Spear of the Charismatic Cat
    A great spear which makes everyone who sees you hold it hold you in higher regard, and want to rub your belly.
    >> Heresy maker 03/17/11(Thu)20:02 No.14278722
    Armguard of the Damned Invocation of Absorbtion
    .... i guess maybe it works like that thing from tank girl...and absorbs all the water in a person....

    Healers' Helm of the Lesser Sorcery of Sludge
    It's Nurgle priest time

    Heavenly Undead's Moccasins of the Creator
    Jesus slippers?

    Splendid Wizards' Pendant
    My opponents are mad, cause I'm styling on them.

    Sycthe of Lava Assault
    I'm ok with this.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)20:03 No.14278750
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    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)20:05 No.14278764

    Dire Corruptors' Warhammer

    It's a warhammer, no worries.

    Glorified Animal's Leather Armor of the Sorcery of Kill Eagles


    Spectral Casters' Partisan


    Sycthe of the Dragon

    Don't like dragons, bin it or sell it.

    War-axe of Forbidden Ruthlessness

    Sounds more like it
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)20:08 No.14278791
    >Banded Mail of Kindness Field
    If I manage to put this on anyone they are instantly my friend
    >Endless Dragon's Lyre of Transform Magic
    >Ghost's Drink of Nothing
    >Sturdy Hatchet of the Unholy Rite of Call Berserker
    Goin crazy on deez mo'fuckers.
    >Vicious Clerics' Gown
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)20:12 No.14278831
    >Deadly Green Spear
    >Glorified Glimmering Blowgun of Spiritual Mud Hand
    >Hateful Amazon's Gear
    >Helm of the Generous Sea Serpent
    >Spiritual Berserker's Cube

    I see I got the jungle theme.
    >>  butt butt 03/17/11(Thu)20:14 No.14278859
    >Annihilators' Crossbow of the Caring Priestesses' Divination of Carnage
    +hit +damage crossbow? Nice
    >Clear War-axe of the Ghostly Calling of Negation
    Sounds like a ghost touch anti-magic axe
    >Demon's Gauntlet
    >Savage Cube
    This companion cube uses the axe to defeat my enemies
    >Wise Canines' Tower Shield of Splendid Earth
    This is what I use to keep people from just shooting me.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)20:20 No.14278912
    >Blessed Sturdy Shoes
    Have you tried questing with blisters?
    >Souls' Armguard of the Vicious Demons' Witchery of Ice
    I have a feeling this will be overpowered.
    Spectral Orb
    Will have a great many uses.
    Unspeakable Cloak of Chameleon Control
    I can summon invisible spies to learn my secrets enemies.
    White War-axe
    better than an off colour white was axe i suppose...

    I think i'll do all-right.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)20:30 No.14279021

    >>Annihilator's Sycthe
    Chance on hit to completely remove the target from existence.

    >>Disrupting Brew
    A potion that when smashed releases a cloud of gas that confuses the mind if inhaled.

    >>Giant Philter
    A mask connect to a complex apparatus on your back that protects from harmful airborne substances by purifying the air.

    >>Marvelous Bastard Sword of Sapphire
    Pimpin' sword made out of gems. Might sell it for money since I have an awesome scythe.

    >>Perfect Wyrms' Shield
    A kite shield made from wyrms' skin, granting immunity to breath attacks.

    Right, im sorted. Im some sort of reaper, with posion gas and in a plague doctor suit.
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)20:37 No.14279078
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    >Armguard of the Ogre


    >Perfected Silencer's Mattock of Control Excellence


    >Sacred Embossed Machine of the Lizard's Abjuration of Infamy

    The lizards abjured some infamous creature. Said creature created a machine. The machine was embossed, blessed and held sacred. Now it is mine. Where i load bullets on it?

    >Unspeakable Club


    >Warhammer of Caring

    Who's a kawaii hammah? You'wa kawaii! Warhead shaped like a companion cube uguu~
    >> Anonymous 03/17/11(Thu)20:39 No.14279108
    Bullet of the Sacred Amazon
    Crazed Victor's Buckler of Endless Sea Serpents
    Cunning Soldier's Drum of Humans
    Divine Dwarf's Helm
    Spear of the Lizard

    With my 2 hats, armor covered in sea serpents, spear, drum, and bullet necklace (ala Metro2033) I Sniper shall go on my quest to kill the elusive River Pyro!

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