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  • File : 1293438580.jpg-(179 KB, 512x800, 'Porter' John.jpg)
    179 KB Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:29 No.13305334  
    Welcome gentlemen...

    Feel free to peruse my wares and examine anything that catches your eye...

    >An elegant golden ring
    >A small Silver whistle in the shape of a horse
    >A small bottle with an equally small tree inside
    >A brown brimmed cap, it wriggles slightly
    >An extravagantly decorated wooden box.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:30 No.13305348
    Where do you put your mouth on the whistle?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:31 No.13305356
    Why, the head of course.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:31 No.13305359
    Is there a kitten in the cap?
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:32 No.13305362
    >>13305348
    The /g/entleman makes a fine inquiry, sir.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:32 No.13305368
    What's in the box?
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:33 No.13305372
    >>13305334
    >A small bottle with an equally small tree inside
    I'll take one.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:33 No.13305376
    >>13305359
    No kitten, it's wriggling on its own.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 12/27/10(Mon)03:33 No.13305378
    >A small bottle with an equally small tree inside
    Cute. I'll take it. Hope it doesn't turn into a giant man eating tree.
    >> Fukken Essence 12/27/10(Mon)03:35 No.13305390
    >>13305356
    Where does the whistle sound come out?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:35 No.13305394
    >>13305368
    The box is empty.
    >>13305372
    "Ah very good choice sir."

    The shopkeeper stands, picks up the bottle gently with a gloved hand, wraps it in a fine fabric and hands it gingerly to you.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:35 No.13305397
    >>13305376
    No kitten? What's the point, then?

    I'll see it, though. Maybe it does something interesting.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:35 No.13305399
    >>13305378
    >>13305372
    If you only have one I'll (>>13305372
    )pay 100 gold
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:36 No.13305402
    >>13305390
    Just above the buttocks, the small of the back where the rider would sit.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:37 No.13305410
    >>13305394
    Thank you, and good day.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:37 No.13305413
    >>13305368
    It's just a box!

    Huh? What's in the box?

    It's just a box!
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:37 No.13305414
    >>13305378
    "Oh I'm sorry sir, that gentlemen got the last one."

    >>13305397
    "Another fine choice!"

    Grabbing the hat quickly, he stuffs it inside a small fabric bag and hands it to you.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:38 No.13305420
    >>13305414
    I put the hat on.

    What happen?
    >> Fukken Essence 12/27/10(Mon)03:38 No.13305423
    >>13305402
    What does the whistle do when blown, other than presumably make a noise?
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:39 No.13305425
    May I examine the box? I'd like to see if it has any ruins or sigils or other magically-charged lexography on it.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 12/27/10(Mon)03:39 No.13305431
    >>13305414
    Ah ok. I'll take the box then.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:39 No.13305432
    Replacing the two lost items on his shelf, the shopkeeper produces...

    >A brass butter knife
    >A small index finger bone.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:40 No.13305442
    may i have the ring
    >first sandinsu
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:40 No.13305450
    I call the finger bone.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:40 No.13305451
    >>13305432
    I remove the cork from the bottle, what happens?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:41 No.13305455
    >>13305420
    It stops its wriggling and settles calmly on your head.

    >>13305423
    "Ah, that good sir, is a mystery."

    >>13305425
    Nothing fancy about it, just a small wooden box.

    >>13305431
    "Fantastic."

    He hands you the box and sends you on your way, keeping his eyes off the box.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:43 No.13305470
    >>13305455
    I'll take the whistle.
    >> Fukken Essence 12/27/10(Mon)03:44 No.13305481
    >>13305455
    Where did you come by the whistle?
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:44 No.13305482
    >>13305455
    I believe 'what is inside the box?' was probably a question you should have asked.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:44 No.13305483
    >>13305442
    He laughs slightly, and hands the ring to you.

    >>13305450
    "Ah, a wondrous item indeed..."

    Picking it up with his gloved hand, he wraps it in a cloth and hands it over.

    >>13305451
    Slowly.. you begin to shrink.

    A mist wraps around you as you watch the sky, the onlookers, the stall and the shopkeeper grow at a wondrous pace.

    Looking down, the bottle is placed firmly under you as the thick mist pulls you down.

    Standing by the large tree in the once tiny bottle, the cork replaces itself tightly in the neck. All around you lay the bones of countless corpses. Some fresh.

    The shopkeeper picks the bottle up carefully, and replaces it on the shelf.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 12/27/10(Mon)03:44 No.13305484
    >>13305455
    ...This is not Pandora Box is it? I'm afraid to open it now.
    Or does the decoration of the box cause madness like CoC?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:46 No.13305498
    >>13305470
    "Marvelous!"

    He picks the whistle up quickly and tosses it to you.
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)03:46 No.13305503
    >>13305483
    thank you for the ammo for my sling good sir. here is you money. i am off
    >> Fukken Essence 12/27/10(Mon)03:48 No.13305513
    >>13305470
    Dick.

    What else we got, here?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:49 No.13305520
    >>13305503
    Laughing, the shopkeeper pulls one last item from his cloak.

    >A small pair of half-moon brass spectacles.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:50 No.13305527
    >>13305484
    "Oh no worries good sir... I... I am just not worthy to gaze upon it..."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:50 No.13305534
    How much for the ring, good sir?
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:50 No.13305538
    I'll take that marvelous bottle with the tree, sir
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:51 No.13305543
    >>13305483
    Well shit what do I see in the bottle
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:51 No.13305545
    >>13305498
    I walk a few paces away and idly, foolishly, naively, blow on the mouth of the horse whistle.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:51 No.13305547
    >>13305520
    Hm. Well, fuck it, I'm going to die in a month anyway.

    How much for the spectacles? My eyes weaken in old age.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:52 No.13305548
    >>13305534
    "My apologies dear customer, but that gentleman (>>13305442) already took it."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:52 No.13305550
    >>13305450
    >>13305483
    I unwrap the finger bone and eat it.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:52 No.13305552
    Share some food whit the man, cheese and bread, maybe some dry pork. Chit-chat a little. I'm sure he has some decent stories to tell.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:55 No.13305567
    >>13305548
    That's a stroke o' bad luck, eh?
    I'll take the cap then.
    *Put on the Cap*
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:56 No.13305578
    >>13305538
    "A wonderful purchase." He once again grabs it with a gloved hand, wraps it in a cloth and hands it to you.

    >>13305543
    Corpses all around. Very few by the tree, however...

    >>13305545
    No sound issues from the whistle, but a thick black mist rushes forth in its stead.

    As you look up from the whistle, the black fog flies forth and engulfs a man nearby. Making no sound, and moving as if invisible, unnoticed by the onlookers-- the man begins to scream.

    Tearing at his hair and eyes, he collapses to the ground and quivers-- going mad.

    Slowly, the mist returns to the whistle and a small scratch carves itself onto the surface of the whistle.

    "1"

    >>13305547
    "Free good sir, like all of my items"
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)03:59 No.13305594
    >>13305538
    >>13305578
    Ah excellent, thank you my good man.
    I take the bottle, smile at the man, then smash it to the ground.
    What happen?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)03:59 No.13305596
    >>13305567
    "Oh bad luck, the Cap too has been taken."

    >>13305550
    The man, surprised by this, watches-- enthralled.

    Suddenly the finger drops out of your waist, as if nothing was there.

    His eyes go wide as he begins to chuckle and shake his head in disbelief.

    >>13305552
    "My items tell my story good sir, but feel free to sit back and watch. Many people enjoy my items. And perhaps someone of your stature can truly appreciate them."
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:01 No.13305605
    >>13305578
    I check the corpse for anything useful.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:01 No.13305606
    >>13305550
    >>13305596
    I frown slightly, pick up the finger, and look at it. Has it changed at all since I last touched it?
    >> Fukken Essence 12/27/10(Mon)04:02 No.13305621
    >>13305578
    Merchant, what's left?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:02 No.13305623
    >>13305594
    The bottle explodes into thousands of tiny fragments on the ground. The glass quickly dissolves into sand once more as the tiny tree inside is sustained.

    Examining it closer, it has rooted itself in the ground and has begun to grow at a surprising rate.

    Pushing brick and earth out of the root's path, it extends upward to the sky. Stopping suddenly at the height of a sapling, it dies abruptly.

    Shriveling to the ground, the tree collapses to reveal a single seed.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:04 No.13305643
    >>13305606
    Not a single bit.

    >>13305621
    >A brass butter knife
    >A small pair of half-moon brass spectacles.

    "You can sir, also ask for my... special inventory..."

    The man smiles a mischievous smile and looks at you squarely with wide eyes.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:04 No.13305645
    >>13305623
    Fuck, so I'm dead?
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:05 No.13305650
    >>13305578
    >>13305552

    Sit there, watching all the people getting items. Trying to decipher that "my items, my story". Anyways, enjoying the way the people reacts, using and looking at the items.

    "┬┐Are they dangerous?"
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:05 No.13305652
    >>13305623
    A question I should have asked before, was this the same bottle that has the other customer trapped inside it, or a different one?
    If it is the same, what has happened to him with the bottle smashed?
    If it is different, I pick up and examine the seed.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:06 No.13305655
    >>13305578
    I look down at the whistle in my hand. "Huh, good think I'm a sociopath. This thing'll sure come in handy!"

    I go over to the man who the whistle drove mad, and wave my hand in his face.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:06 No.13305660
    >>13305652
    I believe it was the one with me in it....
    >> Fukken Essence 12/27/10(Mon)04:06 No.13305664
    >>13305643
    It is special inventory time.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:07 No.13305670
    >>13305643
    The special inventory, eh? Color me intrigued.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:08 No.13305674
    >>13305605
    In it's hand is a small piece of parchment.

    It reads:

    "To whom who find themselves unfortunate enough to join me-

    My name is Finnegan and if you are reading this, then I am dead. That shopkeeper sold me this bottle and told me it would do marvelous things. Blasted liar. Listen, I'm not sure why, but this tree is the key.

    It's the only thing that doesn't change in this place. I've been walking for days... but I never get any closer. Find a way out and escape.

    Tell my wife, Henrietta, I love and miss her..."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:08 No.13305676
    >>13305643
    I place the bone on the counter.
    May I borrow that butter knife for one moment?
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:10 No.13305697
    >>13305674
    Wait I'm still alive? Very odd. I look around for a small stone.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:12 No.13305712
    >>13305650
    "It depends on the item... Some are, yes."

    >>13305652
    The very same bottle, but his world hasn't changed.

    >>13305655
    His eyes are dilated, he shivers and mumbles under his breath, ignoring your hand.

    >>13305664
    "I only have..." The man searches for a moment, then realizing something, reaches into a nearby chest. "...this."

    Producing a small bag, he closes his eyes and reaches inside and withdraws a single, ordinary wooden stick.

    >>13305660
    Don't worry, you're not dead... yet.


    Inventory update:
    >Brass butter knife.
    >Brass half-moon glasses
    >Wooden stick
    >> Fukken Essence 12/27/10(Mon)04:13 No.13305722
    >>13305712
    Wrap up that stick for me.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:13 No.13305723
    >>13305676
    "Oh, I am sorry sir..." He grabs the knife quickly and stares daggers at you. "Limit ONE item per customer..."
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:14 No.13305732
    >>13305722
    He smiles a wide and goofy smile, and hands the stick over.
    >> Raiquen 12/27/10(Mon)04:14 No.13305739
    >>13305650
    >>13305712
    Ask if i can have the Wooden stick. If he says yes, play a little whit it. Draw something in the soil.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:15 No.13305743
    May I see the knife for just a moment? I just stopped in here on the way home from the grocery, I already have bread and butter handy.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:15 No.13305744
    >>13305723
    My apologies, and thank you for informing me.

    Is the customer who bought the box still here?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:16 No.13305745
    >>13305697
    No stones in sight. Simply bones and grass as far as the eye an see. The tree stands firmly in the "center", a good 20 feet from you.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:17 No.13305752
    >>13305745
    I grab a bone and throw it at the tree.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:17 No.13305756
    >>13305743
    "Ah, of course."

    He hands you the knife and watches you anxiously.

    >>13305744
    Glancing around the man shrugs.

    "It seems not. But, if my items are not used within a certain time frame, they return to me instinctively."
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:18 No.13305763
    >>13305752
    The bone flies through the air and bounces off the tree trunk, making a hard thud.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:19 No.13305769
    >>13305712
    >>13305652

    In that case, I pick up the seed, look around for a second, and pop it in my mouth.

    mmmmmmm, seed...
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:19 No.13305776
    >>13305769
    Suddenly, you get horrid indigestion.
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)04:19 No.13305777
    >>13305756
    alright i am back with the ring. for some odd reason i have returned here instinctively . what does it do?
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:20 No.13305781
    >>13305763
    I walk slowly towards the tree.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:20 No.13305783
    >>13305777
    "Put it on and see."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:21 No.13305791
    >>13305744
    >>13305756
    I play with the bone for a little bit, poking it at myself and various objects, basically trying to see if it is intangible only when ingested.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:21 No.13305793
    >>13305781
    Walking toward the tree, you watch as corpses pass slowly by. Looking back up at the tree, it stays firmly in place on the horizon as the ground around you shifts.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:21 No.13305795
    >>13305776
    OH GOD.

    Sir, is there a bathroom I could use?
    >> Fukken Essence 12/27/10(Mon)04:21 No.13305797
    >>13305732
    I wrap a cloth around the end of the stick and try to light it on fire to use as a torch.
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)04:22 No.13305799
    >>13305783
    any other other information you can give me, such as the land it come from, the metal used, who wore it last?
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:23 No.13305812
    >>13305793
    I check the new corpses and I look around.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:23 No.13305813
    >>13305791
    Poking nearby buildings and such, nothing seems to happen...

    Until... you walk into the shade. Pressing firmly on a wall your hand slides through it easily, as if it wasn't there.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:24 No.13305824
    >>13305756
    Thank you, sir.
    Gripping the knife with my shirt sleeve, I carefully butter a slice of bread.
    "Pardon me, mister sociopath guy? Your friend there looks a little hungry."
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:26 No.13305834
    >>13305795
    "Try the pub down the road."

    >>13305797
    As soon as the cloth touches the stick the cloth shakes and and wriggles with a life of its own. Suddenly, the fabric unfolds and turns into a beautiful nobleman's suit.

    It is a marvelous deep blue with gold filigree and beautiful detail.

    >>13305799
    "Oh, but sir... What would be the fun in that?"

    >>13305812
    As you continue to walk, the corpses seem to repeat themselves, passing the same few over and over.
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)04:27 No.13305844
    >>13305834
    good point
    i put the ring on
    and yell at the top of my long
    "HEART"
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:27 No.13305845
    >>13305824
    As you try to butter the bread, the knife bends under the butter. Astounded, you recall the knife.

    The man laughs heartily and wipes a small tear from his eye.

    "Oh.. that never gets old..."
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:29 No.13305855
    >>13305834
    I walk away from the tree.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:30 No.13305862
    >>13305791
    I continue poking things with the fingerbone, including the insane comatose guy and the loaf of bread.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:32 No.13305881
    >>13305844
    Suddenly the ring yells:

    "Women hearts beat faster than men.


    The human heart weighs less than a pound.

    The human heart can create enough pressure that it could squirt blood at a distance of thirty feet.

    The right lung of a human is larger than the left one. This is because of the space and placement of the heart.

    The human heart beat roughly 35 million times a year.

    In a lifetime, the heart pumps about one million barrels of blood.

    The heart controls a person's emotions."

    >>13305855
    Backing away from the tree, it stays in place.

    >>13305862
    Nothing happens.
    >> Fukken Essence 12/27/10(Mon)04:33 No.13305885
    >>13305834
    I hold the suit out to the Merchant for him to take. You know, quid pro quo.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:34 No.13305893
    >>13305881
    I Look up, also I moon walk towards the tree.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:35 No.13305896
    >>13305885
    "Oh how...kind of you..." The man grabs the suit with two fingers and opens his trunk. Looking inside, there are several dozen suits and dresses of the same design inside.

    He shuts it quickly and returns to his customers.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:35 No.13305898
    >>13305862
    >>13305881
    I look at my watch, and realize that I am running late for my next appointment.
    Well sir, this was a fun experience. I have no need for this fingerbone in my day to day life, so I shall give it back to you. May you prosper in all of your ventures.

    Long days and pleasant nights!
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:36 No.13305901
    >>13305893
    As in walking backwards, looking away from the tree?
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)04:37 No.13305905
    >>13305881
    kick ass a knowledge ring. now for the ultimate question.
    WHAT IS my favorite color?!
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:37 No.13305906
    >>13305901
    Yes and what do I see when I look up?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:38 No.13305915
    >>13305898
    "Oh I've... never had one of my items returned before..."

    He takes the bone in his hand and stares curiously at it. Amazed someone would actually return something.

    Inventory:
    >Brass Glasses
    >Index fingerbone
    >Small wooden box (As it was never used)
    >> cool story bro !KNs1o0VDv6 12/27/10(Mon)04:40 No.13305932
    I would like the box.

    I turn it towards myself and open it.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:41 No.13305942
    >>13305845
    Really, how many people bring butter into your store?
    I take it in my other shirtsleeved hand and see how far it bends.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:41 No.13305946
    >>13305905
    The ring yells:

    "Color is the visual perceptual property corresponding in humans. Color derives from magic. Color categories and physical specifications of color are also associated with objects, materials, light sources, etc., based on their physical properties such as magic absorption, reflection, or emission."

    >>13305906
    The tree is farther away.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:42 No.13305955
    >>13305946
    Damn I walk away from the looking at.
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)04:43 No.13305959
    >>13305946
    interesting... games-workshop
    >> Lasik 12/27/10(Mon)04:43 No.13305962
    >>13305915
    Might I try on those beautiful glasses sir? They are simply quite stunning.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:43 No.13305964
    >>13305955
    from the tree*
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:43 No.13305966
    >>13305942
    "Not many, but they always bring back the knife bent."

    As soon as you remove it from the butter, it begins to straighten out, but not all the way.

    >>13305932
    You open the box slowly and reveal nothing. But you want it. You desperately need that nothing.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:46 No.13305987
    >>13305955
    It stays in place.

    >>13305959
    It yells again:

    "A workshop is a room or building which provides both the area and tools that may be required for the manufacture or repair of manufactured goods. Apart from the larger factories, workshops are the only places of production."

    >>13305962
    "Of course!" He hands them to you and watches you don them, smiling.
    >> Lasik 12/27/10(Mon)04:46 No.13305988
         File1293443176.jpg-(24 KB, 321x310, oglaf box.jpg)
    24 KB
    >>13305966
    An empty box that makes you want the emptiness? I think i've heard of this box before...
    >> cool story bro !KNs1o0VDv6 12/27/10(Mon)04:46 No.13305989
    >>13305966
    i stand in the corner looking longingly into the empty box.
    >> Lasik 12/27/10(Mon)04:47 No.13306000
    >>13305987
    ..I put on the glasses and look around. Does something strange happen? Do I see anything out of the ordinary? Or are these normal glasses?
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)04:47 No.13306002
    >>13305987
    vampire
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)04:47 No.13306003
    >>13305987
    I walk to the Left and to the right, not at the same time.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:48 No.13306009
    >>13305989
    The man laughs and walks over to you.

    He places a small red marble in the box and you become enraged. Whipping around you punch the nearest person in the face, panting.

    The man pats you on the head, and hands you a small bag of glass marbles.

    "They go with the box."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:51 No.13306028
    >>13305966
    Well now a trick knife doesn't seem very magical, especially if I have to straighten it out again. No offense, of course.
    Just out of idle curiosity I get my bare hands all greasy with butter and try to tie the knife in a knot.
    >> Lasik 12/27/10(Mon)04:51 No.13306031
    >>13306009
    HE BROKE MY GLASSES! BASTARD!
    I punch him back
    >> cool story bro !KNs1o0VDv6 12/27/10(Mon)04:52 No.13306043
    >>13306009
    Grunting at the shopkeep in thanks, I rip open the bag and dump the entire contents into the box.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:52 No.13306045
    >>13306009
    Ouch! Damn dude, what was that for?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:53 No.13306053
    >>13306000
    As soon as you put the glasses on you can see the name of everyone around you, as well as several strange actions, such as "Passed gas at a formal event, blamed it on the dutchess." "Accidentally let himself, hang-free... in public." And "Had sex in a pile of excrement."

    >>13306003
    The tree rotates respectively.

    >>13306002
    "A group a vampires has variously been called a clutch, brood, coven, pack, or a clan. A rare disease caused by magic causes vampire-like symptoms, such as an extreme sensitivity to sunlight and sometimes hairiness. In extreme cases, teeth might be stained reddish brown, and eventually the patient may go mad. A vampire supposedly has control over the animal world and can turn into a bat, rat, owl, moth, fox, or wolf."
    >> Lasik 12/27/10(Mon)04:56 No.13306083
    >>13306053
    I laugh maniacally, then exit the shop.
    I go on to work as a psychic.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)04:56 No.13306084
    I'd like the fingerbone please.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:57 No.13306090
    >>13306028
    The knife becomes malleable and bendable in your hands, allowing you to twist it. Unfortunately, it is too short to tie in a knot.

    >>13306043
    Dumping the entire contents of the bag into the box, you are overcome with a swath of emotions. Falling to the ground, unable to control your anger, lust, jealousy, fear, hatred and love, the contents of the box spill out, and slowly you feel yourself returning to normal.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)04:58 No.13306105
    >>13306084
    "Absolutely."

    He hands you the fingerbone happily.
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)04:59 No.13306115
    >>13306053
    knights
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:00 No.13306131
    >>13306053
    I say " Damn it Finnegan I will get out and I will tell your wife, Henrietta, you love and miss her" I Look at the bodies and check how far away they are from each other.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:01 No.13306134
    >>13306105

    I walk over to the nearest table and produce a thin dagger from my waist. I put my hand on the table. Steeling myself for a second I start cutting off my index finger. Breathing tightly I stick the index finger bone on the stump.
    >> cool story bro !KNs1o0VDv6 12/27/10(Mon)05:01 No.13306137
    >>13306090
    confused, i collect the marbles and inspect them.
    >> Lasik 12/27/10(Mon)05:02 No.13306144
    A question before I must depart:

    Who are you? Why are you giving away all of these magnificent items? Are you some sort of daemon, benevolent or otherwise, trying to get some amusement out of your life? Are you a retired adventurer, who seeks to spread his vast collection of magical items to the world? Are you just a bored man?

    Is this all an illusion? Is any of this actually real?

    Where did you get that beautiful coat?
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:03 No.13306154
    >>13306090
    I've got it!
    After wiping the butter off my hands, I grab my lighter and hold the knife over its flame for a few moments, then try again with the bread and butter.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:04 No.13306166
    >>13306115
    "Fighting on piggyback introduced the young knights to the balance and skills required in mounted combat.
    Knights often wore ladies' "favors", generally a scarf, veil, or sleeve, when jousting. Sometimes a knight would appear with no heraldic markings. Knights met each other at combined speeds of 60 mph when jousting. Lances were measured, so no one knight had a longer lance. 'Dubbing' was a blow struck with the flat of the hand or the side of the sword and was regarded as an essential act of the knighting ceremony. At the end of the Knighthood ceremony a Knight could claim the title "Sir". A disgraced Knight had his spurs hacked off and his shield was hung upside down as a sign of dishonor. The Joust was an individual tournament event whereas the Melee was a team event."
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:10 No.13306202
    >>13306131
    About 3-4 feet from each other.

    >>13306134
    It falls off as you bleed profusely.

    >>13306137
    All the marbles are different colors and shine with different hues.

    >>13306144
    "I am Finnegan Beckett, I am giving these away for fun. Some call me a man, and some call me a demon... An illusion? Perhaps. But that all depends on you... Oh, and I got this coat at market square. A nice woman runs a small stall."


    >>13306154
    Holding the knife above the flame, trying again to cut the butter, the knife once again bends to the butter.
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)05:11 No.13306211
    >>13306166
    mysterious owner
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:13 No.13306222
    >>13306211
    The man looks up for a moment and stares at you, his eyes wide.

    The ring utters a quiet mutter, then falls silent.

    Standing angrily the man snatches the ring from your finger and returns it to his pocket, pointing to the door.
    >> cool story bro !KNs1o0VDv6 12/27/10(Mon)05:17 No.13306240
    >>13306202
    I toss the three marbles most resembling the original red marble into the box and stare at them.
    >> Hapless Civilian 12/27/10(Mon)05:17 No.13306242
    >>13306134
    Ha! I thought of doing that. Thanks for beating me to the punch.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:20 No.13306253
    If I may have the fingerbone, sir?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:20 No.13306256
    >>13306240
    As the the red marble falls inside you become enraged. As the crimson sparking marble falls inside, you clench your teeth and struggle to keep yourself in check. Finally, as the purple marble drops inside, you tackle the nearest living thing and attack them violently. Beating them to a pulp.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:21 No.13306261
    >>13306202
    Damn! Popular idioms have never failed me before!
    I do my best to straighten the knife out before placing it back on the counter.
    This has been very entertaining, but I should get back before my ice cream melts. Good luck with your store, and here's my card in case you'd like to try out our award-winning inventory management software!
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)05:21 No.13306263
    >>13306222
    may i at least get my money back since i did pay for it
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:21 No.13306271
    >>13306253
    "I believe that bleeding gentleman is still using it."
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:23 No.13306283
    >>13306261
    As you place it back on the counter, it slices through it like-- you guessed it-- butter and falls to the floor.

    >>13306263
    "No. Leave."
    >> deleted 12/27/10(Mon)05:24 No.13306292
    >>13306283
    fine then wanker i am off
    >> Hapless Civilian 12/27/10(Mon)05:25 No.13306294
    "Oh, something simpler is available. Good sir may I have a look a the knife?"
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:26 No.13306297
    >>13306294
    "Of course good sir."

    Picking it up from the floor he hands it to you.
    >> I dont think i will make it out Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:26 No.13306300
    >>13306202
    I throw a corpse at the tree.
    >> cool story bro !KNs1o0VDv6 12/27/10(Mon)05:27 No.13306302
    Delighted, i grasp the red, crimson, and purple marbles, tossing the rest to the ground.
    Holding my box I follow the ring guy home.
    >> Hapless Civilian 12/27/10(Mon)05:28 No.13306307
    >>13306283
    Oh, wait that's odd. I check if it the bladed edge was facing the table, or if it did any damage to the floor.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:28 No.13306310
    >>13306300
    Picking up the closest corpse and throwing it as best you can it lands at the base of the tree with a loud thunk. Nothing else happens.

    Then... after a short while, the roots of the tree push the corpse off the base of the tree and insert themselves back into the ground.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:30 No.13306317
    >>13306307
    It did no damage to the floor, but the blade was facing the table.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:30 No.13306320
    >>13306310
    I pick up a corpse and carry it with me while I walk towards the tree.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:31 No.13306322
    >>13306283
    (What, handle and all?)
    I step back, shielding myself with the butter.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:31 No.13306324
    >>13306320
    Pulling a corpse over your shoulder you start to walk toward the tree.

    It stays in place.
    >> Hapless Civilian 12/27/10(Mon)05:32 No.13306336
    Whats the table and floor made of?

    I try biting the knife, then bending it myself and stabbing at the crazy horse-whistle man, then bending it back and stabbing at him.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:33 No.13306337
    >>13306324
    Is the corpse I threw any closer?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:35 No.13306352
    >>13306336
    Wood.
    You cannot bend the knife, and stabbing the man is simple. It is almost like stabbing nothing.

    >>13306337
    The corpse moves, but the tree does not.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:35 No.13306353
    >>13306320
    (have you tried walking backwards yet?)

    I take the ring off the table and slip it on.
    "Magic."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:37 No.13306363
    >>13306337
    tree guy. The tree ignores corpses, but moves the ground for anything thats walks on the ground.
    Answer: Make a bridge of corpses. Throw them in a line towards the tree, like a bridge of boats.
    If nothing else, you'll see what the tree will do next.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:38 No.13306370
    >>13306353
    >>13306352
    I think I have but here goes anything. I walk backwards.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:39 No.13306379
    >>13306353
    "Magic. Magic is without rhyme or reason. Magic is magic. Able to allow people to do the impossible, and see the invisible. Able to change a person into a cow, a cow into a bird and a bird into a dragon and a dragon right back into a man. Magic is without limits. Magic an be anything, allowing the wielder to do anything. Magic exists because it does. To understand magic, is to be God... and you don't -really- think that highly of yourself do you?"
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:40 No.13306383
    >>13306363
    I was thinking of doing that.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:40 No.13306385
    >>13306370
    Nothing happens.
    >> Hapless Civillain 12/27/10(Mon)05:42 No.13306393
    >>13306352
    "A knife that cuts through anything but butter? That's... a bit simple."
    I try trailing the alphabet out on the crazy guy, seeing if it wears off."
    >I might have changed my name to be pun appropriate.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:42 No.13306395
    >>13306385
    I make a bridge of corpse, throwing corpses at the tree until they reach me.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:44 No.13306409
    >>13306393
    "Simple but useful."

    The man is still muttering, albeit quietly. It seems to be fading, but slowly.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:47 No.13306430
    >>13306395
    Making a bridge out of corpses, you begin to step on them making your way toward the tree.

    As you step on the first corpse, it yells, "...home or come home without me..."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:50 No.13306445
    >>13306430
    obviously the corpses are temporarily being revived by your presence, much like Speak With the Dead.
    OR the tree is fucking with you.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:51 No.13306457
    I start running towards the tree.
    >> Hapless Civillain 12/27/10(Mon)05:53 No.13306465
    I try sticking the knife as far in him as I can, before trying to listen to his whispering, seeing as it'll probably kill me so I can serve my purposeful death as a faceless side character. Unless I killed him already.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:53 No.13306468
    >>13306457
    As you step on the corpses they yell:

    "Home or come home without me..."
    "but I can't bite"
    "I am the guardian"
    "You wont leave"
    "What am I?"
    "I'm not loyal"
    "And I'll let the next man enter"

    The tree is still as far away as it was.
    "leave me behind"
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:55 No.13306479
    >>13306465
    He slowly dies, bleeding out.

    Suddenly the corpse grabs a hold of your hand, pulling the knife free. It tries to stab you in the stomach, an angry corpse thrashing wildly at you.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:55 No.13306480
    >>13306468
    I yell out "Why can't I leave?"
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:56 No.13306485
    >>13306379
    Silly ring, now you're just messing with me. Color vision is magic?
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:56 No.13306488
    >>13306480
    Standing in the center of the bridge of corpses you yell angrily.

    The corpses answer unanimously, "What am I?"
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)05:57 No.13306493
    >>13306485
    "Yes."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)05:58 No.13306496
    >>13306480
    Keep stepping on one corpse to see what it has to say.

    Apologize if it gets offended.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)05:59 No.13306502
    >>13306488
    I yell back "Your corpses! Dead People, WHY ARE YOU TALKING!?"
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:00 No.13306510
    >>13306502
    The one you are standing on, apparently a woman, grabs you slightly--pleadingly and whispers,

    "Because we have a question that needs to be answered..."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:01 No.13306514
    >>13306510

    "What do you get if you multiply six by nine?"
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:01 No.13306519
    I briefly consider tossing Hapless Civilian the butter, but for all his haplessness he's almost as psycho as whistle-guy was. Then again, whistle-guy as a subtle-knife-wielding walking corpse...
    Nah. Time to get out of here and call the cops.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:02 No.13306526
    >>13306510
    >>13306510
    "Then ask!"
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:02 No.13306528
    >>13306514
    don't answer with a question, that'll just get recursive. Stick with something like "Tell me the question,"
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:03 No.13306533
    >>13306526
    They answer unanimously once again:

    "We did."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:04 No.13306543
    >>13306533
    "THEN ASK IT AGAIN! I get that you're dead, but you're not brainless!"
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:05 No.13306546
    >>13306533
    "but I told you you are corpses!"
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:06 No.13306558
    >>13306546

    "We don't want to go on the cart!"
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:06 No.13306561
    >>13306546
    >>13306543
    The corpses yell, in order of the bridge;

    "Home or come home without me..."
    "but I can't bite"
    "I am the guardian"
    "You wont leave"
    "What am I?"
    "I'm not loyal"
    "And I'll let the next man enter"
    "leave me behind"
    "I have teeth"
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:10 No.13306587
    >>13306561
    "your the guardian"
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:11 No.13306595
    >>13306587
    Thunder sounds in the horizon and dark clouds circle in the sky.

    Suddenly your hand burns in pain, looking down, the number "1" is etched on the back of your hand. The corpse under you whispers; "Two more guesses..."
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:12 No.13306597
    >>13306587
    Hey, try digging into the ground.
    You'll probably get ripped apart by living tree roots, but hey, you're gonna die in here anyways, right?
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:13 No.13306606
    >>13306587
    maybe this is the tree communicating with us?
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:13 No.13306608
    >>13306595
    ow, "your....the TREE!"
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:13 No.13306610
    >>13306561
    You are a key.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:14 No.13306617
    >>13306608
    Roots circle and grab your feet and hold you in place.

    The same burning sensation on your hand as the "1" is replaced with "2"

    The corpse climbs up your body slowly, coming face to face-- once again whispering "One... more... guess..."
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:15 No.13306626
         File1293448549.jpg-(31 KB, 526x300, 1279927912300.jpg)
    31 KB
    >>13306610
    That makes perfect sense, Why did I not think of that.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:16 No.13306628
    >>13306610
    My solution:
    "You wont leave""leave me behind"/"Home or come home without me..."
    "I have teeth""but I can't bite"
    "I am the guardian""And I'll let the next man enter"
    "I'm not loyal"
    "What am I?"

    Keys have teeth.
    Keys have no loyalty to the owner.
    You don't leave without your keys.
    Key stop people, but also let them in.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:16 No.13306631
    >>13306617
    I say "A key"
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:16 No.13306634
    >>13306610
    THIS:
    "I have teeth, but i can't bite."
    "Leave me behind, and I'll let the next man enter."
    "I am not loyal, but I am the guardian."
    "Home or come home without me, What am I?"
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:19 No.13306647
    >>13306634
    Oh. Yeah, you could order it like that too...
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:19 No.13306652
    >>13306631
    The clouds part and the sky becomes clear. The roots release you and the corpse falls lifelessly to the ground. Something suddenly appears in your pocket. Reaching in and pulling out a small rusted key, you look to the tree.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:20 No.13306660
    >>13306634
    slight mistake
    "You wont leave home or come home without me, What am I?"
    there we go.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:20 No.13306662
    >>13306652
    AND SEE?!

    (a door?)
    (also, where the fuck are we? still in some pocket plane?)
    (perhaps the door leads back to the world...)
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:21 No.13306666
    >>13306652
    I walk towards the tree.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:22 No.13306675
    >>13306666
    Walking to the tree, it allows you to come closer. After a short walk you come to the tree. A small keyhole is in the knot of the trunk.
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:23 No.13306683
    >>13306675
    I insert the key into the key hole.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:24 No.13306690
    >>13306561
    "I have teeth""but I can't bite"
    "I'm not loyal"but"I am the guardian"
    "leave me behind""And I'll let the next man enter"
    "You wont leave""Home or come home without me..."
    "What am I?"
    reordered to proper form, polite sage
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:29 No.13306719
    >>13306561
    its a key
    >> cool story bro !KNs1o0VDv6 12/27/10(Mon)06:30 No.13306725
         File1293449442.png-(25 KB, 253x320, 1288325318381.png)
    25 KB
    cooooooooolllllll
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:31 No.13306729
         File1293449485.gif-(267 KB, 400x300, 1281527821163.gif)
    267 KB
    >>13306714
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:31 No.13306730
    >>13306683
    The trunk twists and writhes forming a slowly opening door. The light surrounds you in warmth as you find yourself outside the man's shop once again.

    The day long past, he stands, pipe in hand.

    "Ah, you're back. That key and that seed in your pocket? Keep them, they're yours. I will however, take this." Walking to you he pulls the bottle from your pocket, jokingly taps it a few times, and locks it away.

    "Perhaps you learned something while you were in there... I know I did..."

    The man smiles his evil smile and takes a puff of his pipe.

    As the orange ember fades off into the coming night, you hear a whisper.

    "Be sure to check back in next time I'm open... you never know what I'll have in store..."

    And with that, his store closes. Its wonders locked to the world once again... At least... until next time...
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:32 No.13306737
    So... Anyone going to continue where the other item purchasers left off?
    Non-butter knife>>13306465
    ring of knowledge>>13306493
    fingerbone of shadows>>13306271
    spectacles of secrets>>13306083
    bottle of tree(smashed)>>13305776
    ambulitory hat>>13305455
    few more
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:33 No.13306741
    >>13306729
    >>13306730
    That was awesome.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:34 No.13306751
    >>13306714
    is OP doing a fade to black or is 'Finnegan' here dissapearing literrally?
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:35 No.13306754
    >>13306730
    >clap.gif
    Wonderful thread OP. Hope to see you another time.

    I'm pretty pleased with myself, being first to piece that riddle together. I'm usually pretty shit with riddles... Perhaps it's because this one was blunt enough for even me.
    >> Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:35 No.13306757
    >>13306751
    Well... His stall has vanished into the darkness of night, and Finnegan along with it.

    Just wait, soon it will be open again with even more marvelous items.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:35 No.13306758
    >>13306714
    Anyone thinking Happy Mask Shop owner?

    >Rulfral artist
    Or he might be one of those, too. Good call, Captcha.
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:37 No.13306765
    This was an amazing adventure
    >> Warboss Gritmuncha & Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:37 No.13306767
    Also, if you liked this thread, be sure to stick around for the third installment of Kommando Quest Tomorrow at 8pm.

    I was bored so I threw this thread up.

    Glad you guys had fun. But it's 3:37 am, and It's time for sleep.
    >> Warboss Gritmuncha & Mysterious Owner 12/27/10(Mon)06:39 No.13306770
    I won't say when Finnegan's shop will be open again, but if you're lucky, you might come around just in time to see his shop open up once again. Offering its mysteries to a world full of naive and foolish adventurers...
    >> Anonymous 12/27/10(Mon)06:39 No.13306771
    WTB archive

    It's five in the morning, and I desperately need sleep. This thread kicks ass, though, and I want to keep reading.....
    >> Tree !!peTXsU6Wow1 12/27/10(Mon)06:43 No.13306793
    >>13306771
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13305334/
    >> Hapless Civillain 12/27/10(Mon)06:54 No.13306838
    Wew, my first archived thread. I'm doubly honored, Mista Warboss.



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