"She told me not to tell you that she told me," I said. "But technically I didn't tell you, you figured it out, so...I guess you shouldn't take it out on her. And don't tell her I said anything, either."
Maureen sighed and rose. Her body uncoiled, and when it hit my carpet, it shifted back and forth, pushing her upper body up until she was about eye-level. "Okay. Here's what happened." She slid across the floor and leaned her arms on the counter. "I go up the stairs and ring the doorbell. The family who lives there opens the door, and when the father sees me, he just flips. He comes up and starts yelling about how freaks like me shouldn't be walking around on his driveway and touching his food. I told him I was sorry, but he said that if he knew they would be sending someone like me over, they wouldn't have bothered to get pizza."
"He sounds like a flaming jackass." I used the pause to flip the steaks.
"Well, yeah," Maureen said. "But I still had to give him the pizza. I tried to do that, but he just pushed it away and slammed the door, so I left it on the step."
"So you gave an asshole free pizza for being an asshole, basically," I said.
"Well, what was I supposed to do?" Maureen asked. "He looked like he was going to call the cops or get a shotgun. I'll take it out of my check. It's not worth dying over."
"What'd your boss say?"