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  • File : 1291765147.jpg-(35 KB, 639x360, Gabranth.dissidia.jpg)
    35 KB Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)18:39 No.13067935  
    So in the thread last night about the dude that was getting beaten by his paladin bitch of a wife, I started some writefaggotry where his character confronted her. I decided to continue writing it and not wait for the next thread, since people were anxious for more. I'll repost the bits I wrote first, then we'll get to the good stuff, if anyone's really interested.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)18:40 No.13067953
    >>13067935

    I gave the servants the day off. Dropped a couple hundred shiny pieces of gold into their clean little fingers and told them the town was that-a-way. Go wild. When they asked why, I just fed them a smile and told them they deserved it for all of their hard work and that, no worries, I would field all complaints with the lady of the house.

    When they had left, I got ready. I didn't draw the curtains as I dressed. Only a crack of light shone past them, filtering into the room and reflecting on me. It felt...right. For a long time now, I had sat alone in dark rooms, thinking about what had happened, thinking about what had to be done.

    When I had finished, I trudged downstairs. From the dining room, I dragged a chair out into the open foyer, spun it until it faced the door.

    I sat down and folded my arms.

    ---

    I felt like overflowing when the door to our home cracked open and she appeared in the doorway. The midday sunlight played over her golden locks, danced down the glistening armor of her order. A squarish travelling pack burdened her shoulders.

    She did not look pleased as she peeled it off.

    "What are you doing in that get up?" she asked.

    "Anticipating the worst," I replied. I'd never forget her temper.

    "Take it off right now," she said. She dangled the pack by one strap and lay it down next to the door frame. "We're going to talk about what you did."

    "You're welcome, by the way."

    The paladin pointed at me. "Do not test me. You know where your responsibilities lie. They are here at home. You do not belong in the battlefield."
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)18:42 No.13067964
    >>13067953

    "That's funny," I said. "I seemed to do a pretty good job saving you and the others from that ambush. I'm surprised you figured out it was me, though."

    "I recognized your fighting style. No thought, no planning. Just run in there and try to hack it to pieces. It's no wonder you could never beat me in a fight. I actually have skill."

    I tilted my head back a bit. "Then why don't you just fight for all the other men? They're clearly ill-equipped to deal with battle as well."

    The paladin glowered at me. "Would that I could, but THEY are not my husband. THEY do not already have a place."

    In the knife went. "And they don't have a fanatic assualt them when they try to step out of bounds."

    She sighed. "How ELSE will you learn? Without me there, you'd probably have gone and got yourself killed months ago. You don't know any better."

    "You wouldn't believe how tired I am of that phrase," I spat. "'You don't know any better.' You don't know a damn thing about me. You never did. All you want to see is what you think is right, without taking anyone else's feelings into consideration. You don't care."

    "I DO care about you!" the paladin said. She took a step inside, spread her gauntleted hands. "Do you have any idea how much I care about you? I don't want you hurt! Why won't you understand that? Why can't you understand my feelings?"
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)18:43 No.13067980
    >>13067964

    "Why can't you understand mine?!" I shot back. Now my hands were resting on my knees - I leaned forward, body trembling underneath my garb. "I love you. Even despite...THIS, I love you. But I hate living like this. I hate being treated like I'm ineffectual, like I'm some pet who needs to be coddled. I am my OWN man. Capable of making my OWN decisions. Capable of living my OWN life. But every time I try to assert that, you see the need to swoop in and PUNISH me!"

    The paladin sighed again, looking up to the roof, like praying to her deities. "We've gone over this, husband. I am protecting you because you don't know any better. That is what is right."

    "Is that so."

    I stood up, reached down to the metal, horned helmet between my ankles. "Then let me tell you what I think is right. What's right is allowing others to live their lives as they see fit. What's right is the kind of love shared between equals, between a man and a woman who sacrifice for each other on both sides. Both people must share that responsibility. Not just you. And no matter how many times I've tried to convince you to do so, you won't listen. Because you say you love me.

    And I still love you. But...you won't listen to me out of love."
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)18:45 No.13067996
    >>13067980

    I slid the helmet over my head, protecting me in darkness.

    "So now you will listen to me out of something you oppose."

    I picked up the blades leaning against the chair. First the one on my right side, heavier and larger than the left. I checked them ahead of time. They were as viciously curved and threatening as I requested them to be.

    "If you truly are the paladin you claim to be, try to convince me to release the hate building in my heart. The hate threatening to swallow my dwindling love for you. The hate for all you have done for me, and the twisted ideals your order stands for."

    I spread out my arms, hands tightly clenched around both of my swords. My wife's eyes widened, and as she took a step back, her hand fell to the handle of her own blade.

    "Stop the hatred that drives me now."

    ***

    That was my intended stopping point, but I decided to go ahead and write out some more. Any anons from last night out there? I would hope to write to an attending audience :V
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)18:48 No.13068030
    Aint gonna complain about reading some free writing. Gives me something to browse while im registering for classes.

    Go on.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)18:50 No.13068051
    Do like, great writing style and an interesting subject for those of us who followed the thread
    >> Gilgamesh, King of Heroes !EnkiduOJiw!!fXOkC1tdv81 12/07/10(Tue)18:56 No.13068090
    Interesting. Do go on.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)18:56 No.13068098
    >>13068030

    Very well! And since last night also graciously revealed the characters involved, I can be a bit more descriptive.

    ***

    I leapt towards her with a howl. Elizabeth's blade slid from her scabbard and met my blades with a clang. Shock clasped her face - I felt her shrink from the weight of the blow, if only for a second. "Martin, what madness is this?" she cried.

    I reared back and slashed again, my blades sweeping in and out. I hadn't seen her fight for a long while, but she was still an excellent swordsman - even while surprised, her blade met my attacks with straight execution. She held her ground, and a few strokes forced me backwards, inching towards the chair.

    Then the opening presented itself, and when her blade couldn't possibly counter me, I lashed out with a thrusting kick directly into her abdomen. Weight of my boots and the force of my blow forced her wind out like an explosion, sent her back a few paces.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)19:03 No.13068149
    >>13068098

    I poured my innate magic into my blade - it hummed with power. As I slashed the air facing me, magic culled the breeze sifting into the room into a swirling whirlwind, into a howling tornado. Elizabeth could only chance a moment to gape before the winds engulfed her, spiralling her out the doorway and into the front yard of our mansion. She hit the ground on her side, rolling, armor clanking.

    I didn't let up. I couldn't. Surging through the doorway, I swung down on the paladin with a great yell. Again her blade stopped me. Years of skill made it look like just the nick of time.

    "How DARE you raise your blade against me!" Elizabeth snapped. Flat of the blade balanced against her hand, she pushed hard. I couldn't hold my position and lurched back, giving her room to sweep her body around and find equal footing again. "After all I've done for you, this is how you repay me?"

    I crossed my blades in front of me, staring ahead. "It is only fitting, after all you have done."
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:08 No.13068206
    Blackguard <3 Paladin

    Paladin <3 Blackguard

    Couples counseling, Gygaxian style!
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)19:14 No.13068248
    >>13068149

    Elizabeth entered a familar combative pose, sword held in front with both hands. She paced around slow. Sizing me up. "Even now, it seems I must protect you for yourself. If this is what you wish...I will make you see the error of your ways."

    "Same goes for you," I said. The dying winds of my tornado whipped her hair.

    "Then prepare yourself!" Elizabeth rushed at me, thrusting with the tip of her sword. A swipe of my blade deflected her strike, and I returned the favor with a thrust of my own. When it struck, I thought I had scored the wound I was looking for, but no - a last minute twist from Elizabeth had bounced the blade off of her pauldron. Her sword arced around and sliced towards my shoulder - I blocked it, but the strength of the attack mashed the blunt edge of my weapon into me. She was getting serious now.
    >> ObviousWhiteKnight 12/07/10(Tue)19:14 No.13068256
    OP, you should consider a career in fiction. this is excellent so far.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)19:15 No.13068267
    >>13068256

    Eh. I write mostly for fun. Roleplaying gets most of my fiction jollies out. But I'm glad everyone's liking it so far!

    Yes, I AM completely ripping off Gabranth's moveset. Dissidia is that fucking good.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:17 No.13068279
    >>13068267
    Please write some more. This is very good.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:26 No.13068373
    is OP still alive?
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)19:26 No.13068379
    >>13068248

    I forced her blade back and she went back into that ready pose. I made sure she wasn't ready to counter me - I slashed again, raining a storm of blows at her like I had done before. I had to be aggressive. Unpredictable. This was the only way to win. To prove my point.

    She blocked a chop towards her arm. Now she kicked me in the stomach. I staggered, swinging my blades around in an attempt to defend.

    "End this charade!" Elzabeth called, and her blade crashed down into my shoulder. It whipped back. Smashed into my side. Back again. Down again. I tried to sneak one of my swords between the onslaught, but a catch and twist of her weapon sent it spinning away from my reach.

    Not good.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:27 No.13068388
    I was there last night. I was the one who went, FUUUUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOU. When you cut it off right when it started getting good.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:29 No.13068402
    >>13068388
    I was the FUCK YOU, GOOD SIR.

    I retract that now.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)19:34 No.13068463
    >>13068379

    "I know you are angry with me -"

    Her blade crashed across my chest.

    " - about something you can't understand - "

    It swooped down at my knee, and I lost that precious hold on gravity, stumbling.

    " - but I will NOT - "

    Another blow to my shoulder.

    " - tolerate your hostility any longer!"

    I swung my blade up to meet hers, and they struggled to dominate. Her assualt had thrown off my focus - my wrist strained to hold onto my weapon. I reached up with my free hand to support my blade. Her foot bashed my chest before that happened, and I found myself coughing in reflex. As I fell back, her boot pinned me to the dust with a clatter. The tip of her blade swept at my throat, stopping just before making the cut.

    Elizabeth's fine lips curled with a hint of victory.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:35 No.13068474
    >>13068388
    Yeah, I take back what I said too. This shit is good. I was also the one who asked about the name and appearence of the two characters, I was planning to do some writefaggotry myself during the holiday break. Y'know what'd make this perfect? If OP took that other anons suggestion of making multiple endings.
    >> Fuck you good sir guy. 12/07/10(Tue)19:35 No.13068480
    >>13068474
    Also mine
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:37 No.13068505
    >>13068480
    Didn't you say you'd pay with 10 image dumps if he did do that? Shit man, that's 1500 images. Can you follow through with that?
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:38 No.13068512
    This needs to end in seeeeeeex.
    >> tha/tg/uy 12/07/10(Tue)19:39 No.13068526
    >>13068512
    Angry Sex.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:40 No.13068533
         File1291768828.jpg-(160 KB, 811x1023, Red Lantern Corps- Atrocitus.jpg)
    160 KB
    Martin kills his wife and ends up being cursed by her deity and turned into some sort of rage monster/demon. I SEE IT happening.
    >> Fuck you good sir guy. 12/07/10(Tue)19:40 No.13068537
    >>13068505
    No.

    And I'm sorry for that.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)19:43 No.13068571
    >>13068463

    I felt my teeth grind together. It was always on reflex. Always when she won.

    "Are you through with this foolishness?" Elizabeth asked. The blade didn't waver. "Get it through your head. You'll never be able to defeat me. It's only natural. You are a man, after all."

    My fingers dug into the dirt, carving.

    The paladin stepped back, but kept her sword aimed at me. "Now, come on. Drop your sword. We need to treat your injuries...again. Once you've healed, we can discuss this again in a more civilized matter."

    My knuckles ached as my grip on my weapon tightened.

    "Maybe this time you'll understand that my judgment is sounder than yours."

    No.

    Not this time.
    >> tha/tg/uy 12/07/10(Tue)19:46 No.13068601
         File1291769175.jpg-(23 KB, 298x256, Aw Yeah!.jpg)
    23 KB
    >>13068571
    It's on.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:48 No.13068627
    >glorious.jpg
    >MFW at least two good writefags are on the board at the same time.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:49 No.13068646
         File1291769394.jpg-(115 KB, 640x427, 1289771865654.jpg)
    115 KB
    >>13068571

    I hope he beats her to death with his penis.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:51 No.13068670
    I missed the thread yesterday.
    How did this situation came about in the first place?
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:51 No.13068672
    >>13068646
    why do I sense him using some sort of tactical genius that a paladin might never think of, like... SAND IN YOUR EYES!
    >> Gilgamesh, King of Heroes !EnkiduOJiw!!fXOkC1tdv81 12/07/10(Tue)19:52 No.13068682
    >>13068571
    F5 F5 F5 F5 F5 (etc)
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)19:52 No.13068684
    >>13068571

    ***

    "Now, you must be very careful with this, good sir." I bowed my head and the wrinkly mage slid the pendant over my head and let it hang on my neck. "This should only be used as a last resort."

    I smiled. "I promise I'll be careful. But you've seen the kind of enemies we face, Javi. At least, the ones Elizabeth likes to tangle with."

    Javi chortled. "Well, it's not like you have to worry about them at home! They're all out there lurking in the mountains where she's at! I'd say you got the better end of the deal."

    "But an invasion is possible," I said. "It's happened before."

    "Yes, yes, you're right. It's good to be prepared. Now!" Javi tapped the emerald inset into the pendant's center. "As I mentioned before, the enhancements within this pendant, when activated, will unlock the hidden potential lurking within all men. You will become the pinnacle of power, intelligence, and courage. A nearly unstoppable force!"

    "Good."

    "The last thing I need to do is establish the spoken command word to unlock its power." Javi threw open a large, dusty tome on his table, peeling pages apart until he reached a velvet bookmark in the middle of the volume. "It can be anything - a word, a normal incantation, or simply a certain phrase. Do you have anything in mind?"
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)19:54 No.13068704
    >>13068684

    ***

    I stared into the cloudless blue sky.

    I did not release my sword.

    "You should not...have misjudged me."
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:54 No.13068707
    >>13068684
    >Do you have anything in mind?
    PIMP SLAP!
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)19:59 No.13068786
    f5
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:01 No.13068816
    >>13068670
    Basically the Paladin is a gender swap on the knights of old. She believes that men are the weaker sex and must stay at home etc. She was being exploited by a party member who was using her to get courtly gifts because she was attracted to him. The dude playing Martin here asked /tg/ what to do. Naturally, we told him to turn on the tsundere and change the Pallys focus to him. They started dating and all was well and good. However thanks to the actions of the rogue and bard the Palladin was put in a compromising situation with Martin and they were forced to marry to avoid impugning their honor. Pally basically forces Martin to stay at home. She ignores him when he tries to convince her that she's wrong and more drastic actions (running away) have been met with violence. She's slapped him multiple times and on a couple of occasions actually beat him and tossed him about the room. The dude playing Martin came to us for advice again, we told him to make a worthless character that everyone hates to take his old characters place. In the meantime we told him that he should talk to the GM and have Martin use his newfound freetime to train and train and train till he can fight on even terms with the paladin. Then in a moment of darkness his old character pulls a BIG DAMN HERO moment and rescues the party and hopefully convinces the Paladin that he is not a pretty little flower to be locked away.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)20:05 No.13068864
    >>13068704

    The magic brimming in my veins geysered.

    Elizabeth's eyes widened. She stepped back as I rose, still gripping onto my sword. An aura of fiery color cloaked it, and the aura spread past that, outlining my entire form.

    Warmth. Tension. Power.

    "Martin..." Elizabeth managed, after a few stretched seconds. "What...what is this? What have you done?"

    I threw out my left hand. As my discarded blade was infused with my power, it became part of me just as much as my other sword was right now. It slid towards me like I was drawing it forward with an visible string, until it leapt up and the handle slapped into my waiting fist.

    "I've done the only thing that could have resulted from your actions."

    Bringing the handles of my blades together, I pushed them together, and they interlocked. A twist locked them in place, both blades curved forward at Elizabeth.

    "You fostered this in my heart." I took my position, wielding my double blade like a staff. "You fostered the hatred that drives me."
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:05 No.13068878
    F5ING WITH THE FURY OF A THOUSAND PIMP SLAPS
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:07 No.13068905
    f5ing with the power of the almighty penis in the sky
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:11 No.13068964
    to page one with ye.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:15 No.13069015
    >>13068864

    >As my discarded blade was infused with my power, it became part of me just as much as my other sword was right now. It slid towards me like I was drawing it forward with an visible string, until it leapt up and the handle slapped into my waiting fist.

    You son of a bitch...

    You've got an amulet that turns you into Archer! Shit's on now.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:16 No.13069025
    >>13069015
    My whole life has been Unlimited Abuse Works.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:19 No.13069073
    >>13068864

    I am the bone of my sword.
    Steel is my body, and fire is my blood.
    I have created over a thousand blades.
    Unknown to death, nor known to life.
    Have withstood pain to create many weapons.
    Yet, those hands will never hold anything.

    So, as I pray...Unlimited Blade Works.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:19 No.13069077
    >>13069015

    Wait... If you're Archer... and you're being abused by a Paladin... Oh.

    Suddenly, that extra ending in FSN doesn't seem quite as good.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)20:21 No.13069102
    >>13068864

    I didn't wait for her attack. I didn't even wait for her defense. Suddenly Elizabeth's fearsome swordfighting felt sluggish, uneven. She could barely guard the intial swing of my weapon before I was swinging again, targeting her exposed flank. Over and over I smashed into her armor - her side, her shoulder and arm.

    Elizabeth cried out as a heavy blow pressed down, sending her to one knee. Panic swam with anger as she swung out, trying to catch my flank. I swirled around her swing like she was cleaving through butter. It was all too easy now.

    A small group of villagers had gathered along the fence blocking off the yard from the rest of the town. I didn't care.

    My next kick smashed into the curve of her breast plate and the paladin shouted, tumbling over in a twirl of armor and cloth.

    "Stop this right now, Martin!" Elizabeth demanded. She scrambled up, entered her same ready pose, shaking more than I had ever seen her. "Do you know the consequences of attacking a paladin of the order?! They'll have you killed!"

    "A life under their banner wasn't a life worth living to begin with," I said. "I am nobody's dog. Especially not yours."
    >> tha/tg/uy 12/07/10(Tue)20:21 No.13069103
         File1291771275.jpg-(20 KB, 221x217, Horrifying.jpg)
    20 KB
    >>13069077
    I see what you did there.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)20:22 No.13069124
    >>13069015
    >>13069025
    >>13069073

    I needed an excuse to reference Gabranth's EX Mode :V
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:23 No.13069139
    >>13069124

    >implying this is a problem
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:24 No.13069164
    >>13069103

    "Hello, Shirou. I've been waiting. Here's your collar."

    *Scene ends*

    Fin.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)20:25 No.13069171
    >>13069139

    Touche. Then again, I didn't want you guys to cry "WEABOO FIGHTIN MAGIC" so I'm trying to justify this in D&D terms...somewhat.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:29 No.13069222
    >>13069171
    I'm just hoping for a good end. Cause I'm a faggot like that.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:31 No.13069256
    >>13069222
    Good end would be him breaking all her limbs and hanging her naked in the center of the town square, then fucking off to some other country and finding a decent wife.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:33 No.13069277
    >>13069256
    You think him murdering the person he loves is a good end? What the fuck is wrong with you? No, a good end is him convincing her that she's wrong and them going of into the sunset to go adventuran and fightan
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:33 No.13069291
         File1291772028.jpg-(65 KB, 600x477, 1269901624415.jpg)
    65 KB
    >>13069256
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:33 No.13069292
    >>13069256

    Hohohoho.

    Troll. Or creepy fuck. Either way, please stop talking.
    >> Fuck you good sir guy. 12/07/10(Tue)20:34 No.13069296
    >>13069277

    Don't forget the angry make-up sex.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:35 No.13069316
    >>13069296

    I think that that's a given
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:36 No.13069328
    >>13069296
    Yeah that too. Keep in mind folks, they haven't consummated the marriage yet because Mr. Martin is scared of the pally getting preggers and he'll get stuck taking care of the kids.
    >> Fuck you good sir guy. 12/07/10(Tue)20:37 No.13069346
    >>13069328
    She best prepare her anus.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)20:37 No.13069351
    >>13069102

    "Martin!"

    The aura illuminating my blades shone brighter and I swung multiple times. Arcs of mystic power cut where I slashed, streaking towards Elizabeth. The paladin screamed in terror as each arc collided with her, throwing her back with each successful attack, large grooves dragged into the ground from the fallout of each arc.

    I shouted, and the magic propelled me forward, charging my blades. "Away with you!" The larger of the blades crashed into Elizabeth's armor, and the paladin soared back, landing through the fence where the onlookers had gathered. Screams erupted into the sky.

    I didn't pursue. I seperated my blades and watched Elizabeth struggle to rise back up. Her blade bit into the earth as she used it as a brace. Her glare cut into me hard.

    The intial surge of adrenline flowed away. The power of the amulet still coursed within me - I still knew tremendous power.

    But...my wife was beaten, bloodied. There was no point in pressing my attack. She had seen first hand the extent of my determination. Maybe...maybe now she would see.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:39 No.13069371
    >>13069277
    Not really. It sounds like an abusive relationship and is best terminated. "Love" doesn't count for nearly enough to forgive someone who has abused and humiliated you for years and scorned every attempt to correct it.

    A good end would be him leaving her and becoming an outstanding adventurer himself just to show he can. Fuck that bitch.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:39 No.13069374
    >>13069351

    Oh god! Let her see!
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:40 No.13069391
    >>13069371
    It hasn't been years, more like a couple of months maybe weeks. She's a good person, she's just misguided by her Order.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:41 No.13069407
    >>13068670
    The relevant threads, each with its own dire situation:

    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/12753195/
    http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13056308/
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:41 No.13069410
    >>13069391
    >She's a good person, she's just misguided by her Order.

    Right. She hits him because she loves him. He fell down some stairs, it's all his fault because he's so stupid.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:43 No.13069433
    >>13069410
    Actually, if she had been allowed to develop her own mindset, she probably wouldn't be okay with this. But being indoctrinated at a young age fucked with her morals.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:45 No.13069453
    >>13069410
    I'm not saying she's right. I'm saying that the good end would be him convincing her of the error of her ways. They both really do love each other.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:45 No.13069462
    >>13069433
    Perhaps, then, we should forgive those african child soldiers who rape and murder for kicks. They had a hard life growing up, it's clearly not their fault. They're just misguided. I'm sure they will just get along with everyone if we just explain to them how they are wrong.

    It doesn't matter that she is indoctrinated. What matters are the actions.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:47 No.13069493
    >>13069453
    And I'm saying you don't mentally and physically abuse someone you love, and that if you do it's not a healthy relationship and is best terminated despite the fact you "love" each other.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:47 No.13069500
    >>13069462
    Ok you're right. Whatever. Let's not get into a fucking debate in a writefaggotry thread.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:47 No.13069504
    >>13069453

    It would be, but to me it would feel like a ham-fisted ending, sorta.

    The wife comes off as a bitch who sees men as inferior, in my opinion, and she would go all "you only beat me because of your magic" or try to justify her loss. Either way, he beat the shit out of her, and things aren't going to go be all fine and dandy after that.

    I think the best ending would be if he just cut his ties with her and left.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:49 No.13069522
    Oh look, two opposing ideologies opposing each other.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:50 No.13069536
    >>13069493
    They actually did, at one point.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:51 No.13069567
    >>13069500
    This. Not the time or the place. It makes an interesting discussion, but were all here waiting for the thrilling conclusion.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:52 No.13069576
    >>13069504

    Properly planned spending with the wealth-by-level works amazingly well!
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:53 No.13069586
    >>13069536
    Did what? Love each other? Sure, I'm not arguing against that. Maybe they even still do, in a twisted love/hate kind of way. Doesn't matter, most abusers do, in fact, love their abused spouse and/or children. That doesn't mean it's a good thing, or that the fact they love them makes up for the trauma and abuse.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:54 No.13069599
    >>13069576
    What kind of goddamned amulet would do this anyway?
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:55 No.13069617
    >>13069586
    Please stop arguing about this here. Go make a pally thread or something. Lets all agree that it makes for good drama. Now please stfu and wait for the Writefag to finish.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:56 No.13069622
    >>13069586
    If the abuse ends, only love remains.

    If love is expressed as L, and hate/abuse is expressed as Ha, then by definition:

    LHa - Ha = L
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:56 No.13069625
    >>13069599

    The demon-infused kind?
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:57 No.13069640
    >>13069622
    >Hedoesn'tknowhowmultiplicationworks!.jpg
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:58 No.13069643
         File1291773487.jpg-(56 KB, 750x600, 1246640887298.jpg)
    56 KB
    >>13069622

    You can't subtract away a multiplicand!
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)20:58 No.13069651
    >>13069351

    "Do you understand now why I raised my blade against you?" I called out to her. "I had to show you that I have the strength to back up my convictions since I couldn't convince you through words. But this isn't worth fighting to the death over." I shifted my staff weapon to one hand, extended the other towards her. "I've always loved you, Elizabeth. And I want to settle this as lovers. I want us to find the solution together as equals, like love between two people should always be."

    "What kind of lover attacks their partner?" Elizabeth spat. A trickle of blood I hadn't noticed before arced down her lips. "If you really loved me, you would have done everything you could to make me happy! That's all I've ever done for you. I've worked hard and sacrificed so much to give you a happy life. And here you are..." Her voice broke with sadness. "Spitting it all back in my face!"

    "I did do everything I could to make you happy," I said. "But you stifling me doesn't return the favor."

    ***

    All right, gotta clean up the dinner junk, BRB.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:58 No.13069654
    >>13069622
    I believe that was meant written as a chemical formula
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)20:59 No.13069661
    >>13069622
    Sadly, emotions and paladin-level belief don't work that way. The abuse will always be a specter haunting their relationship, and that's assuming she turns here back on everything she has ever been taught after merely being beat up once. But if she was that weak willed then she would have long ago turned to the first evil cause that had a decently powerful minion who could beat the shit out of her.

    >>13069617
    Agreed. I shall stop arguing.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:01 No.13069690
    >>13069654

    Oh, that makes sense, I suppose, and it's not like it's a big deal, but a chemical formula would not randomly lose a molecule/atom.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:01 No.13069696
    >>13069651
    Good, for I too am hungry.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:01 No.13069697
    >>13069661
    People are fucking weird, that's what I'm getting out of this.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:03 No.13069727
    >>13069690
    What sparks the reaction is whatever causes the abuse to stop.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:05 No.13069753
    >>13069727
    I think what he's saying is that molecules don't just "drop out" of chemical formulas, even if they're consumed.
    >> drugsforjesus !!RWsaXC5fCja 12/07/10(Tue)21:09 No.13069819
    hmm...at first I didn't like the whole. Woman beats man so man needs magical item to defeat her. But...it was good writing and I read a few of your comments and I liked the story after all. Good times
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:11 No.13069856
         File1291774304.gif-(198 KB, 504x2269, 1261453878333.gif)
    198 KB
    >>13069753
    It's that whole damn conservation of mass thing making our lives hard again! Fucking science!
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:16 No.13069932
    >>13069819
    Yeah, mechanically Martin is a jack of all trades fighter. The original campaign was supposed to be a one or two shot so the Player didn't really build to optimize. He built a character based on that pic of a human carrying a shitload of weapons. Described himself as a "walking store."
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:18 No.13069957
    >>13069651
    >what kind of lover attacks their partner?

    "Perhaps you should ask your Order that, the next time they offer 'helpful advice' on how to manage a husband."
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)21:21 No.13070011
    >>13069651

    "I've NEVER stifled you!"

    "Then are you calling me a liar?"

    "No!"

    "Then I'm telling the truth. I think you've encumbered me. And no matter what I said, you wouldn't listen because you thought you knew what's best. You thought you were only serving the good of your order."

    "I am!" Now Elizabeth had risen back to her full height, though she still supported herself with her sword. "Can't you understand that what I've done is for your own good?"

    "I understand your intent," I said. "But I'm telling you that how you've treated me isn't for my own good. It isn't for anyone's good. You've held me in a golden cage and pushed me back in when I tried to spread my wings. No one deserves to be locked away like that. Even with good intentions."

    I disconnected my swords, turning away from her. Past the fence, the town unfolded, a staggering of large and cheap structures. "Life is too short to spend it in safety. You have to put yourself at risk. Otherwise...what's the point?"
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)21:33 No.13070180
    >>13070011

    "Risk brings heartbreak," Elizabeth said.

    "You broke my heart out of concern for my safety."

    I was suddenly aware of birds chirping. Even with the furious melee at a standstill, they continued to sing. I was reminded of the birds that flew away when you clipped towards them on a brisk horse. The only reason they ever jumped in the road to begin with, I realized, was so that they could find something new to eat.

    I looked back towards Elizabeth. The wind slid through her hair. "...is that really how you've always felt?"

    "Yes."

    "Do you really prefer a dangerous future to a safe one?"

    "I prefer to choose my destiny like all men and women should," I said. "I'd rather die as a result of my choices than live and never know what I could have done."

    Elizabeth couldn't face me. And now it felt like I couldn't face her. I hadn't taken a single step towards her since my final attack. We were wide apart.

    "..is this how you want to be loved?" she asked, after a pause.

    "If that means I can continue to be by your side...then yes. That is what I want."
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:38 No.13070256
    >>13070180
    ...keep going.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:40 No.13070288
    fan of FSN arent you OP?
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)21:44 No.13070338
    >>13070180

    She didn't reply immediately. That was all I needed.

    "I'll give you some time to think it over." I turned my back to her, my cape arcing. "The choice is yours. Like it always should be."

    "Where will you be?"

    "Not here. I imagine your order's going to be very angry with me once they find out I've attacked one of their paladins. If you choose what I've chosen...you'll find me at our brook."

    I reattached my blades and rested the staff against my shoulder. As I walked away, I could feel the amulet's power drizzling out from my body. It had served its purpose. Unfortunately, there wasn't any time to commission Javi to make another - the order would be coming, demanding my blood.

    I was going to give them hell.

    I just hoped Elizabeth would be at this eagle's side for his final flight.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:44 No.13070343
    Still waiting for the sex.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:46 No.13070367
    sex at the brook , SEX AT THE BROOK!
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:49 No.13070412
    >>13070338
    Hey, write fag. Dis some pretty good writefaggotry. Good job.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:49 No.13070425
         File1291776566.jpg-(101 KB, 800x823, 1287571946334.jpg)
    101 KB
    >>13070338
    And that's when he decided to have a chat with that Order's patron deity.

    To make a long story short: PALADINS FALL, EVERYBODY FUCKS.

    Pic related.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)21:54 No.13070501
    >>13070412

    Thanks! I'm glad everyone enjoyed it. I really like this ending - Elizabeth isn't entirely convinced but her world has definitely been shaken up. There's potential for change in the future. And Martin's now super badass.
    >> ╬▒lpharius 12/07/10(Tue)21:56 No.13070531
    >>13070501
    Will you be writing a continuation at a later date?
    >> Fuuuuuuuuck Yooooooooouuuu guy 12/07/10(Tue)21:58 No.13070551
    >>13070501
    Yeah, it wouldn't have made sense if she suddenly went Lol you're right, lets go adventuran! But I don't know if the Order would actually bother to try and hunt him down. It was a domestic dispute so they might not really get involved. In their eyes it's up to her to reign in her misbehaving husband. It also hints that they're going to end up in a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance kid situation.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)21:59 No.13070577
    This is archived, right?
    >> Gilgamesh, King of Heroes !EnkiduOJiw!!fXOkC1tdv81 12/07/10(Tue)21:59 No.13070584
    >>13070501
    Was a good read. And for some reason, I don't mind the ambiguous ending.

    >And Martin's now super badass.
    Doesn't it say that the power he gained from using the amulet leaves him, or did I miss something?
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:01 No.13070616
    >>13070584

    How badass a guy is, is all about the way he carries himself.
    >> ╬▒lpharius 12/07/10(Tue)22:02 No.13070620
    >>13070584
    Being badass is not necessarily linked to the power you have.
    He may have lost that tempoary power, but he is still badass.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)22:02 No.13070624
    >>13070584
    The power fades after a while. He's super badass in the sense that he's now fighting for what he believes in, no matter what. Again, it's just a vehicle for the EX mode reference :V

    >>13070531
    Not sure. This was mostly inspiration. If another cool scene idea occurs, I'll probably write it out.

    >>13070551
    Well, there was definitely some terror and property damage involved. And the Order is a bunch of asshats anyway.
    >> Gilgamesh, King of Heroes !EnkiduOJiw!!fXOkC1tdv81 12/07/10(Tue)22:02 No.13070627
    >>13070616
    I stand corrected.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:04 No.13070665
         File1291777464.jpg-(45 KB, 450x466, Cirno speaking.jpg)
    45 KB
    >>13070627

    Damn right you stand corrected.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:05 No.13070684
    >>13070501
    I personally did not enjoy it, OP, as there was a distinct lack of paladin-banging.
    >> Gilgamesh, King of Heroes !EnkiduOJiw!!fXOkC1tdv81 12/07/10(Tue)22:05 No.13070693
         File1291777557.jpg-(46 KB, 300x300, facepalm.jpg)
    46 KB
    >>13070665
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:07 No.13070718
    >>13070684
    Click on thumbnail in >>13070425 and then stare at it for a bit. It's close enough that it should work.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)22:07 No.13070720
    >>13070684

    Sorry, dude...there's always the continuation if it ever comes up!
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:09 No.13070745
    >>13070720
    :D
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:10 No.13070776
    >>13070720

    What if, a regular dude...

    Fightan' against two angelic ladies...

    Who turn their undergarments into weapons?

    Which turns into a hot threesome.

    Would you write that?
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)22:12 No.13070793
    >>13070776

    Ironically, I'm listening to "Your Wife Is an Angel" from the Silhouette Mirage soundtrack.

    If I learn more about what this Order does...hmmmm....
    >> Fuuuuuuuuck Yooooooooouuuu guy 12/07/10(Tue)22:12 No.13070799
    >>13070720
    Yeah, write short sweet follow up a couple of weeks later. He's waiting at the brook and she shows up. Go for maximum d'aaww
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:13 No.13070816
    >>13070776
    If you want a Panty and Stocking with Garterbelt fic, I'm sure /a/ would be happy to oblige.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:20 No.13070917
    >>13070816

    Naw, dude, /a/ only has good drawfaggots in my opinion. If you can consider animu-style a valid form of art. But that's neither here nor there.

    And who said I wanted a PSG fapfic? Sure, maybe something borrowing the concept...

    I mean, the concept of turning panties and stuff into weapons is pretty awesome.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)22:24 No.13070972
    >>13070799

    That sounds good. I'm gonna need a fight scene, though. And I'd like to learn more about the order before I write for them. Especially to see if certain ideas will work.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:27 No.13071009
    >>13070972
    Go watch Mr. and Mrs. Smith and take notes on the big fight leading into Destructo Nookie 2/3rds of the way in.
    >> Fuuuuuuuuck Yooooooooouuuu guy 12/07/10(Tue)22:30 No.13071034
    >>13070972
    We'll have to wait a couple of weeks for Martin's player so we can ask him. We know that the whole man thing is one of their central tenets but what else do they do? etc.

    I can see it, they missed each other but the quickly start arguing again. Then they get ambushed by Monsters of the Day, and the pally saves his ass. While she starts using this as proof that she's right, he throws his sword and saves her ass from being nommed.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:31 No.13071062
    >>13070799
    ...and maximum fappage.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)22:37 No.13071114
    >>13071062

    I'm bad enough at literary descriptions and you want me to write a sex scene? Geez :V
    >> Fuuuuuuuuck Yooooooooouuuu guy 12/07/10(Tue)22:39 No.13071127
    >>13071114
    Just go with this classy line.
    Then they fucked. And it was gooood.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:40 No.13071136
    >>13071114

    No dude, you're good.

    I mean, not the best ever, obviously, but you're good. I'm sure you could pull it off, as is whoever else is in this thread, I'd believe.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)22:45 No.13071204
    >>13071136

    Well, as much as I've said that I really only writefag for personal fun, I think I'd still like to improve my style to a certain point. Something cinematic, delivering a vast amount of visual detail and creative metaphors in only a few sentences. I tend to really enjoy whenever I write in that style, but it can be tiring when describing fight scenes.

    >Dont Fasivans

    Don't, Mr. Fasivans, you have so much to live for!
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)22:51 No.13071266
         File1291780318.png-(42 KB, 144x149, 8l.png)
    42 KB
    >>13071204

    I'll be honest and say, I'm an aspiring writer, but as more of a profession.

    >my face when I wanna write kind of like that too
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)22:56 No.13071315
    >>13071266

    I want to be a great comedian as my profession! Neither of us must give up on our dreams.

    As for how I've learned to write like this so far, I've bought several fiction-writing books for...some reason or another. I think I wanted to do fiction writing on the side? Got bored with trying to eck out actual stories, though, but like I said, roleplaying satisfies that itch. I don't actually read a lot of books, so don't follow my model if you want to be a published writer, kids :V
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)23:02 No.13071374
    >>13071315

    Why don't you try some comedic writing? Granted, I've been lurking on /tg/ for a few weeks now, and only a few weeks, so maybe you have before and I never saw. Just that, some of the better jokes I've heard are kind of told in a story, so, maybe that work. Or, the teller was just funny, or my opinion is shit.

    I haven't actually really roleplayed a tabletop game of any kind, but I did some forum stuff when I was younger, which, admittedly, wasn't all that long ago.

    I wonder if I could play around with being a writefag as practice, though? I think that's all I need, practice.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)23:10 No.13071436
    >>13071374

    I actually run a comedic blog. Kinda being finetuned right now, but I've regularly put out material. I work best as a columnist - comedic fiction doesn't mesh well with me. Then again, maybe you just like comedians who tell their jokes in story form. I'm a one-liner guy myself - Steven Wright's one of my absolute favorite comics.

    As for becoming a more skilled writefag, read a lot, study up on technique, and most importantly, practice by writing fun shit. That's how I developed my own skills.
    >> Anonymous 12/07/10(Tue)23:14 No.13071470
    >>13071436

    Advice considered and filed away for looking back at later.
    I'm outta this thread.
    >> Titanium Man 12/07/10(Tue)23:20 No.13071516
    >>13071470

    Have a good one, dude.

    As for me...I'm not sure what else I can contribute right now and I'm not ready to go yet. Ideas?
    >> Titanium Man 12/08/10(Wed)00:33 No.13072165
    Well, one last bump before I go to bed, I guess. Again, thanks to everyone who read it. A sequel is definitely possible, I just have to learn more about the Order before I can see what I can do.



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