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>>Inside joke among my group, session called "Eldwen's Good Day."
>> Rogue goes lolrandumb.
>> Tries to rob shop.
>> Put on trollface.
>> Get rogue caught by store owner.
>> Guards come in, rogue escapes.
>> Runs right into the chest of the party Paladin, Paladin drags him off to court. He gets off on a technicality since we are nobility now thanks to plot.
>> While he's gone, clean the fuck out of the store. Magic weapon shop. Clear 20,000g.
>> Rogue comes back, tries to rob again.
>> Gets caught at the door again by the owner with a crossbow. Looks inside, sees shit gone, thinks the rogue was sneaking out.
>> Paladin shows, back to court.
>> Let go again, with a fine.
>> Buys item from other magic vendor. Use Telekinesis to rob vendor while he focuses on rogue. Rogue gets blamed and chased.
>> Paladin. Court. Bigger fine.
>> All the while, I'm pretending to scout for the rogue, giving him just enough warning to escape the guards but get caught by the paladin, and telling the paladin exactly where to find the rogue, making me seem like a bro to both.
>> Rogue goes to the bar to drink. I Alter Self to look like a random noble. Plant something on him, get caught by him (on purpose) and run out the door. He runs after, but I changed form just as I cleared the door.
>> He asks "Where did that noble go?!"
>> I point.
>> He finds a guy on a horse who looks almost exactly the same.
>> SNEAK ATTACK.
>> Noble is at -8.
>> Paladin is going by, knocks rogue the fuck out, heals dying dude, and throws the rogue in jail for a week.
>> My face, pic related.
Net profit: 45,000 GP and a dickton of lulz. I gave the rogue 5,000gp afterwards and busted him out of jail, leaving an illusion in his place. He thought I was awesome, the paladin thought I was a righteous bro.
My Alignment? Chaotic Evil.
Just as planned.