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  • File : 1287751252.jpg-(24 KB, 400x301, BilboInTheHobbit.jpg)
    24 KB Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)08:40 No.12532987  
    >Martin Freeman to play Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:08 No.12533072
    His incredible sad face won him it, no doubt.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)09:14 No.12533085
    >Richard Armitage
    >As Thorin
    Not sure if want. Though who I want to see is Bard and Smaug the Dragon.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:26 No.12533126
    And now I have tea all over my monitor, thanks.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:29 No.12533136
    I'll be surprised if this film ever comes to being, with all the trouble it's been through.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:33 No.12533150
    Is it just me or would Richard make a better Bard than a Thorin? Guess we'll have to wait and see - the casters presumably know what they'ren doing.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:34 No.12533156
    >Morgan Freeman as Bilbo Baggins

    That's what I read. And I don't care about any problems, it's fucking awesome.

    Also, Arnold Schwarzenegger as Gandalf.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:36 No.12533165
    I'm really looking forward to this film. I've never read the Hobbit, but my dad read it to me when I was a kid. I can't wait to see Thorin become king under the mountain after the battle of the five armies when all the immigrants from Dain's lands come and set up a dwarf kingdom.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:36 No.12533167
    >Samuel L Jackson as Smaug
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:36 No.12533168

    Actually, they just greenlit the Hobbit.

    Filming starts Feb 2011, with Jackson at the helm .(Yahoo news)
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)09:38 No.12533172
    Oh yes the Battle of the Five Armies! The first time we'll see the Dwarf in a full war in a Jackson movie.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:38 No.12533174

    >james earl jones as gandalf
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:39 No.12533177
    >Bruce Willis as the Spiders of Mirkwood
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)09:41 No.12533188
    No Bilbo. YOU are the Burglar.
    How would that work? The Spiders have no dialog at all! Does he just show up and climb trees and web?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:42 No.12533194

    >Jason Statham as Thorin Oakenshield
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:43 No.12533197
    >>Filming starts Feb 2011, with Jackson at the helm .(Yahoo news)
    >>with Jackson

    Wait, what? After how badly they tried to shaft him he is still going to work for them?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:43 No.12533200
    He was great in Sherlock.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:44 No.12533204
    Yes. Naked with skin painted blue-black.

    >Dolph Lundgren as king of the elves
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:44 No.12533206
    "I don't know what the fuck you're lokkin' at, ya fukkin' punk, but you're a ded orc now."
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:45 No.12533212
    >Helen Mirren as the trolls
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:45 No.12533213

    (points at gandalf)

    "Oo's the beardy cunt then?"
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:46 No.12533217
    "I've had it, with these motherfucking thieves in my motherfucking hoard!"
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)09:46 No.12533219
    >Clint Eastwood as Bard
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:49 No.12533232
    That's overpowered. He could shoot down eight dragons in about three seconds.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:50 No.12533234
    I am still butt hurt over the fact that they are not making a Silmarillion movie.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:51 No.12533238
    Cut down to the bare essentials, only 40 hours long!
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:51 No.12533239

    >Silmarillion movie

    I'll settle for a very well drawn silmarillion graphic novel series, and so should you.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:53 No.12533248

    You could never make *one* movie out of The Silmarillion. Practically any given story in it would be a movie (at least one movie) unto itself.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:53 No.12533251
    >Discussion on The Hobbit movie turns into The Hobbit meets The Expendables.

    Oh, /tg/, how I love you.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:54 No.12533253

    Asking for a Silmarillion movie is like asking for a Sandman or Preacher movie.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)09:59 No.12533277
         File1287755988.jpg-(97 KB, 318x236, 1215959374582.jpg)
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    >Martin Freeman to play Bilbo Baggins
    >not Ian Holm, the guy who played him in the other movies
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:00 No.12533280
    Bible: The Movie
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:01 No.12533281

    There was a script for a Sandman movie. You can find it online. I thank the Endless everyday that it wasn't made.
    >> 40Kfag from /m/ !!rthE8hgFXea 10/22/10(Fri)10:01 No.12533282
         File1287756089.gif-(1.75 MB, 358x202, 1287107829430.gif)
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    >Morgan Freeman to play Bilbo Baggins
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:01 No.12533285

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:02 No.12533288
    Shia Lebouf is... DREAM, of the ENDLESS.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:02 No.12533290
    Ian Holm's 79.
    In the book, Bilbo's like, what, 40?
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)10:03 No.12533294
    Actually I just realize Gandalf would look OLDER if they use the same Gandalf. Though they can explain it that it's fucking magic.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:04 No.12533299

    Zooey Deschanel as Death!

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:05 No.12533303
    They use the same Gandalf, IIRC.
    But I guess they'll use make-up and stuff.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:06 No.12533308
    Oh, fuck no. I have no idea who would be cast as the endless, tbh.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)10:07 No.12533310
    I'd watch it. Just for the laugh.
    Oh right.
    I wonder how the Mirkwood elf is going to look like.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:07 No.12533314

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:08 No.12533315
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:09 No.12533318

    Ten years younger Johnny Depp would be a seriously fucking good Dream, actually.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:11 No.12533330
    >Rutger Hauer as Elrond

    >Christopher Walken as Bert the Troll
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:11 No.12533331

    (opens robe to reveal three bandoleers filled with daggers and and about eight different axes and two troll skulls. Cut to faces of horrified orcs.)
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)10:12 No.12533333
         File1287756744.jpg-(31 KB, 315x395, hugh_jackman_in_van_helsing.jpg)
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    I am a servant of the Knights of the Holy Order, wielder of the crossbow of Vatican. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udûn
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:13 No.12533342
    Fucking fund it.

    "Gandalf, how did you overcome the Balrog?"
    "I'm a fucking werewolf."
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:13 No.12533343

    "I gotta, SAYY, that I haven't. Eaten hobbit, BEFORE. This is gonna be, Oh. QUITE the! Experience."
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:14 No.12533344
    >Rutger Hauer
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:15 No.12533349

    You are now aware that Death: The High Cost of Living is being made into a film, and Shia LeBouf will play Sexton. Let's hope it stays in the Hollywood doldroms.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:16 No.12533352
    Tim Curry as Smaug's treasure hoard.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)10:18 No.12533356
    Then Bilbo carry him out and give it to the Mirkwood Elf King? What the hell?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:19 No.12533357
         File1287757144.jpg-(257 KB, 400x500, santastare.jpg)
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    I don't actively dislike that guy, but he's just so....TYPECAST.

    Either he mans up and chooses a script where he isn't a cunt or he falls forever.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:20 No.12533362

    Are you going to say no to Tim Curry covered with gold pieces jewels and with his groin covered in a treasure chest with mother of pearl overlays?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:21 No.12533368
         File1287757285.jpg-(61 KB, 406x450, gandalf.jpg)
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    A wizard never ages, he looks precisely as he means to.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:21 No.12533370
    fuck you op i thought you said morgan freeman
    i almost shit bricks
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:21 No.12533372
    Brian Blessed as the mountain.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:23 No.12533389

    Crispin Glover as the Eagles.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:24 No.12533393
    Viggo Mortensen as the ponies.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:25 No.12533404

    Ian Holm as the One Ring
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:26 No.12533407
    Mickey Rourke as Gollum.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:26 No.12533411
         File1287757619.jpg-(45 KB, 877x494, 0840.jpg)
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    Nigga WHAT? You said I didn't get the role of Gandalf?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:29 No.12533420

    Monica Belluci as the subterranean lake where Gollum lost the Ring.

    Man this is turning out to be a pretty badass play.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)10:30 No.12533425
         File1287757815.png-(1.31 MB, 700x930, Untitled-1.png)
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    This is how the Hobbits book cover would look according to /tg/
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:30 No.12533427
    Forrest Whittaker as Fili and Kili.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:31 No.12533429

    Scarlett Johansson as the barrel Bilbo rides to the town on the lake.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:31 No.12533432

    And it's absolutely perfect.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:32 No.12533436
    Man, Alan Lee is one whacked-out artist.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:33 No.12533437

    too good for hollywood
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:34 No.12533444
         File1287758076.jpg-(139 KB, 505x700, rapedwarf.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:35 No.12533448
    >Stallone as Glamdring
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:35 No.12533449
    So /tg/

    Who plays that guy that can turn into a MOTHERFUCKING BEAR?

    Answer me this
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:36 No.12533452

    Robert Downey Jr. as the arrow that pierces Smaug's underbelly.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:36 No.12533453
    Back when he was still on the picture, it was rumored Guillmero del Toro was considering Ron Perlman for the voice of Smaug.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)10:37 No.12533459
    You mean Beorn? Sean Connery?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:37 No.12533460
    >Gilbert Godfrey as Sting
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:38 No.12533462

    Sean Bean.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:39 No.12533475
    Bill Nighy
    >> Just confirmed: Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:40 No.12533479
    >The cast of Friend as the voice of Smaug
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)10:42 No.12533493
    If you can provide me a picture that show the entire 13 Dwarf, Gandalf and Bilbo. I'll photoshop in all the actors in this thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:44 No.12533509
         File1287758671.jpg-(12 KB, 180x240, 2537-martinclunes-1b.jpg)
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    rolled 86 = 86

    For some reason i thought Martin Freeman was Martin Clunes. And then i thought "what the fuck".
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:46 No.12533523
    No, he plays Bilbo's fireplace.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:48 No.12533535

    Fuck you, Bill Murray should be the fireplace.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:49 No.12533539
    >implying it's not Johnny Depp playing Bilbo's fireplace
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:51 No.12533551

    >implying Bilbo's fireplace doesn't consist of cloned CGI frames of an oiled up Stephen Fry undulating in a crimson jumpsuit
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:52 No.12533559
         File1287759130.jpg-(41 KB, 400x300, h-2-2945-bard-black-arrow.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:53 No.12533563
         File1287759182.jpg-(6 KB, 299x168, images.jpg)
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    You're all wrong.

    >> It's Billy Crystal
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:53 No.12533566
         File1287759210.jpg-(14 KB, 538x288, Araragi.jpg)
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    Very much want.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:53 No.12533569
    In honor of this thread;
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)10:54 No.12533577
    We need actor to play a fireplace. What's next Actor for the sun? The side way door of Dwarven Fortress? Grass even?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:57 No.12533588

    The grass is actually being done by Keanu Reeves, but I'm not sure he'll be up to the task.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)10:59 No.12533604

    Adrian Brody can be the grass. He's skinny, like grass.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:02 No.12533617
    terry gilliam should totally do this thread old school monty python cutscene style
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:02 No.12533618
    seas of sad keanu
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:03 No.12533624

    Every time I see this, I can't help but think that Nimoy had his way with each of those dancers as soon as the shoot was over.

    On a related note, Nimoy as the Narrator.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:04 No.12533630
    >Bjork as Beorn
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:05 No.12533633

    that's just it

    keanu should do the the waves at the grey havens when the elves leave for valinor

    all somber yet radiating a strange calm and shit
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:05 No.12533638
         File1287759953.jpg-(81 KB, 400x505, bilbo-martin-freeman.jpg)
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    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)11:07 No.12533648
         File1287760067.png-(242 KB, 400x300, Untitled-2.png)
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    SO SAD.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:10 No.12533661
         File1287760227.jpg-(51 KB, 331x319, 1255451221298.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:11 No.12533664
         File1287760301.png-(11 KB, 302x391, 1287364516733.png)
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:12 No.12533671
    >Simon Pegg as the Wargs
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:13 No.12533678
    This would be the greatest movie of all time, beyond the end of time.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:16 No.12533703
    Someone needs to compile the cast list.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:18 No.12533712
    >this thread
    >this movie

    I came goblins.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)11:21 No.12533730
    Morgan Freeman as Bilbo Baggins
    Huge Jackman as Gandalf
    Samuel L Jackson as Smaug
    Bruce Willis as the Spiders of Mirkwood
    Jason Statham as Thorin Oakenshield
    Dolph Lundgren as king of the elves
    Helen Mirren as the trolls
    Clint Eastwood as Bard
    Rutger Hauer as Elrond
    Christopher Walken as Bert the Troll
    Tim Curry as Smaug's treasure hoard
    Brian Blessed as the mountain
    Crispin Glover as the Eagles
    Viggo Mortensen as the ponies
    Ian Holm as the One Ring
    Mickey Rourke as Gollum.
    Monica Belluci as the subterranean lake where Gollum lost the Ring
    Forrest Whittaker as Fili and Kili
    Scarlett Johansson as the barrel Bilbo rides to the town on the lake
    Robert Downey Jr. as the arrow that pierces Smaug's underbelly.
    Gilbert Godfrey as Sting
    Bill Nighy as Beorn
    The cast of Friend as the voice of Smaug
    Cloned CGI frames of an oiled up Stephen Fry undulating in a crimson jumpsuit as Bilbo's fireplace
    Keanu Reeves as Grass
    Nimoy as the Narrator
    Simon Pegg as the Wargs
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:24 No.12533743
    Neil Patrick Harris should play the Arkenstone.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:26 No.12533750
    >huge Jackson
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:26 No.12533753
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:26 No.12533754
    If Arnold Schwarzenegger can't be Gandalf, I nominate him to be Glamdring.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:26 No.12533755
    Does it hiss at penis?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:27 No.12533763

    I bet he does, anon.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:29 No.12533772
    >Sting as Sting
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:30 No.12533778

    >Stig as Sting
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:31 No.12533780
         File1287761485.jpg-(55 KB, 500x338, generalapplause.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:32 No.12533786

    >Stig as Witch-King of Angmar, riding Nazgul automobile
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:34 No.12533789
    The Nazgul 3000, fastest hot rod in Angmar!
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:35 No.12533794
         File1287761739.jpg-(34 KB, 450x586, great goblin.jpg)
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    As the Great Goblin
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:37 No.12533801
         File1287761827.jpg-(48 KB, 400x979, sting-sword (1).jpg)
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    Sung to Spiders during Mirkwood shenanigans:

    "Every breath you take
    Every move you make
    Every bond you break
    Every step you take
    I'll be watching you"
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:38 No.12533808

    Some say he's the reason why one does not simply ride into Mordor.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:39 No.12533811
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:41 No.12533817
    >Verne Troyer as the noble thrush that tells Bard where to shoot Smaug
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:43 No.12533825
    Sean Connery as Gandalf's beard.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:43 No.12533829
    This thread has me weeping openly
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:44 No.12533831
         File1287762247.jpg-(33 KB, 307x402, Witch-king-on-beast.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:44 No.12533832
         File1287762267.jpg-(30 KB, 604x428, oh u.jpg)
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:45 No.12533833
         File1287762302.jpg-(84 KB, 985x471, Christine09.jpg)
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    >Christine as the Nazgul's steed (once LotR is redone properly /tg/ style)
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:46 No.12533842

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:47 No.12533850

    Some say he never blinks, and that he roams around the woods at night foraging for Wargs (played by Simon Pegg). All we know is, he’s called the Witch King of Angmar!
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:49 No.12533856
    If thread is not archived, then there is no justice in this world.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:49 No.12533859
    Sean Connery should be the treemen

    and Jackie Chan as Narsil/Anduril
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:52 No.12533873
    I say Sean Connery should play all the rolls suggested (Treeman, Gandalf's beard, and Beron). He just wears different hats.

    That would never work, though. Who would take the idea of a talking beard with a fedora seriously?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:52 No.12533875

    Bullshit. Jackie Chan is the troll that explodes the walls of Helm's Deep, deflecting arrows with an orcish chair of crudely hammered iron while riding a fell goblin bicycle.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:54 No.12533879

    >talking beard with a fedora

    My next character
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:54 No.12533884

    How this all works is like a play, see. Whenever Hugh Jackman contemplates something as Gandalf, he strokes Sean Connery. If a scene calls for his beard to get wet, then Sean Connery appears drenched.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:54 No.12533887
    >I say Sean Connery should play all the rolls suggested (Treeman, Gandalf's beard, and Beron). He just wears different hats.
    >a treeman in a hat
    >a beard in a hat

    You, sir, are a genius.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:56 No.12533893

    You are now imagining Hugh Jackman absent-mindedly massaging Sean Connery who is wearing a tophat labelled "GANDALF'S BEARD" in block letters.
    >> Synbios !!wutpLZkcFng 10/22/10(Fri)11:56 No.12533895
         File1287762992.jpg-(33 KB, 380x328, ist2_3152015-glorious-morning.jpg)
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    My GLORIOUS-meter has led me to this thread and


    -explodes due to overabundance of GLORIOUS-
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:57 No.12533897
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)11:59 No.12533912

    When Gandalf shouts at Pippin for looking too deeply into the Palantir Sean Connery shakes his head and waggles his shoulders in disappointment.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:00 No.12533916
    Joe Pesci as Saruman
    Willem Dafoe as Tom Bombadil
    The Rock as Orcs
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:01 No.12533921

    I laughed so hard, soda went out my nose and all over my keyboard.

    God damn I love this thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:02 No.12533923

    None of those are in the Hobbit.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:02 No.12533928
    Someone needs to email this thread to Peter Jackson.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:03 No.12533933
    Patrick Stewart as the Palantir.

    Generally he has a normal expression but whenever Saruman or Denethor wants to scry and shit he opens his eyes really widely and engages them in a fucking intense staring contest.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:04 No.12533937
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:04 No.12533938
    Seconding the vote to archive this glorious, glorious thread.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:04 No.12533939

    Even though they're called "goblins" they're still Orcs.

    Their leader Bolg being the son of Azog the warboss of Moria killed by Dain Ironfoot long prior the events of the book.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:05 No.12533943

    You now see Saruman stroking Patrick's bald with his eyes closed, talking to Sauron.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)12:05 No.12533946
    "The sword that was broken have been reforge!"
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:07 No.12533956

    He's already playing The Mountain, so he's like the most important character in the film.

    You are now imagining a CGI-enhanced LARGE BRIAN BLESSED wearing a huge robe covered with rocks and small trees laughing maniacally as the Battle Of The Five Armies plays out between his arms. Just when his laughter reaches its cresendo, he stares directly into the camera and shoots jets of fire from his eyes.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:07 No.12533957
    I would very much want BRIAN BLESSED to dub the THX dealie at the beginning of films
    The audience is listening, and the rest of the block for that matter
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:08 No.12533959

    Oh man. They just saw a hole in a table, have Patrick pop his head up there and pull a table cloth with a hole in it over him to make it look authentic.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:08 No.12533961

    Also for some reason Sauron is the top half of George takei's face wearing an eyepatch.

    It's very creepy once you visualise it trust me.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:09 No.12533967

    Brian Blessed did the tarzan yell on Museum of Curiosity once.

    It was diamonds.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)12:11 No.12533970
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:13 No.12533978

    you know there's a price to be paid for looking at that shit
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:13 No.12533979
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:13 No.12533980
    The king looked sternly on Thorin, when he was brought before him, and asked him many questions. But Thorin would say only that he was starving.
    'Why did you and your folk three times try to attack my people at their merrymaking?' asked the king.
    'We did not attack them,' answered Thorin; 'we came to beg, because we were starving.'
    'Where are your friends now, and what are they doing?'
    'I don't know, but I expect starving in the forest.'
    'What were you doing in the forest?'
    'Looking for food and drink, because we were starving.'
    'But what brought you into the forest at all?' asked the king angrily.. At that Thorin shut his mouth and would not say another word.
    “Very well!”said the king.“Take him away and keep him safe,until he feels inclined to tell the truth,even if he waits a hundred years!"

    The /tg/ version:
    Dolph Lundgren looked sternly on Jason Statham, when he was brought before him, yet asked him nothing.
    'I will break you.' said the king.
    'FUCK.' answered Thorin, and dropkicked the elven king in the face.
    Everything in the background exploded for some reason.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:13 No.12533981
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:14 No.12533986
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    Truly terrifying
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:14 No.12533987

    >jets of fire from his eyes.

    Also played by Stephen Fry except waggling really quickly this time.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:15 No.12533990
    This shouldn't only be archived, it should be stickied.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:16 No.12533993

    OH MY!
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:16 No.12533995

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:16 No.12533997
    i think i died laughing.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:19 No.12534012

    Imagine George Takei doing the I See You bit with background whispering mordor speech also by George Takei.

    if that isn't hella evil that does not sleep then nothing is
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:21 No.12534018


    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)12:22 No.12534020
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    Should I stop my photoshit? Is it annoying?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:23 No.12534023

    I think it's far better than my MSPaint shit. Keep it rolling.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:25 No.12534026

    Try doing the Bruce Willis spiders and we'll see.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:26 No.12534028
    >Hugh Laurie as Bilbo's Pipe
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:30 No.12534039
    Morgan Freeman as Bilbo Baggins
    Huge Jackman as Gandalf
    Samuel L Jackson as Smaug
    Bruce Willis as the Spiders of Mirkwood
    Jason Statham as Thorin Oakenshield
    Dolph Lundgren as king of the elves
    Helen Mirren as the trolls
    Clint Eastwood as Bard
    Rutger Hauer as Elrond
    Christopher Walken as Bert the Troll
    Tim Curry as Smaug's treasure hoard
    Brian Blessed as the mountain
    Crispin Glover as the Eagles
    Viggo Mortensen as the ponies
    Ian Holm as the One Ring
    Mickey Rourke as Gollum.
    Monica Belluci as the subterranean lake where Gollum lost the Ring
    Forrest Whittaker as Fili and Kili
    Scarlett Johansson as the barrel Bilbo rides to the town on the lake
    Robert Downey Jr. as the arrow that pierces Smaug's underbelly.
    Gilbert Godfrey as Sting
    Bill Nighy as Beorn
    The cast of Friend as the voice of Smaug
    Cloned CGI frames of an oiled up Stephen Fry undulating in a crimson jumpsuit as Bilbo's fireplace
    Keanu Reeves as Grass
    Nimoy as the Narrator
    Simon Pegg as the Wargs
    Sylvester Stallo as Glamdring
    Arnold Schwarzenegger as Orcrist
    Sting as Sting
    Stig as Witch-King of Angmar, riding Nazgul automobile
    Jackie Chan as Narsil/Anduril
    Sean Connery as all the rolls suggested (Treeman, Gandalf's beard, and Beron). He just wears different hats.

    The most epic movie of all time.
    Someone MUST send this to Peter Jackson or someone from the crew.
    Maybe they do a parody or something.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:32 No.12534047

    Who gets the prized role of The Smoke? He'd have to work well with Fry and Laurie, as well as Sam Jackson. Logically, the actor must been from the British Isles who has previously worked with Samuel L Jackson.

    I nominate Liam Neeson, as he would bring a certain gravitas to the role.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:32 No.12534048

    Oh and this thread needs to be archived.
    >> An0nymous !gkWeiOwuW2 10/22/10(Fri)12:34 No.12534056
    rolled 24773 = 24773

    Best thread on /tg/ in a long while.

    Would read again. 10/10 Internets.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:38 No.12534071
    I keep hoping del Toro will come back to the production.

    Then again I also keep hoping that Ed Norton will be in the Avengers and him getting kicked off the movie will all turn out to be a cruel practical joke.

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:39 No.12534075

    So Morgan Freeman puts his mouth around Hugh Laurie's head and inhales, which causes a greased up Stephen Fry in a red jumpsuit to dance at their feet, Freeman holds it for a moment and blows out Liam Neeson, who wears gray tights and dances smokily while yelling, "RELEASE THE PIPEWEED!"?

    Fund it.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:39 No.12534079
    Willem Dafoe would be better. He's a bit under appreciated, and i think he'd be a great smoke
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)12:41 No.12534089
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    This one is absolutely horrible I know. I can't find a naked picture of Bruce Willis so I just strap the head on the spiders.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:42 No.12534096

    Alternatively, whenever Bilbo or Frodo wears the ring Takei Sauron appears and says OOOOOOOOOOHHHHH MYYYYYYYYYYY in a menacing yet fruity cultured voice and the lidless eye wreathed in fire winks at them while eerie space synth music plays and the hobbits scream and scream

    which in this case means Morgan Freeman screaming whenever George Takei's eye appears on screen.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:43 No.12534103

    the spiders seem to have more personality than I remember.

    That's good method acting for you.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:44 No.12534108

    I think he'll be brilliant, but he has to smoke marijuana to get into the character before each scene.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:44 No.12534109

    If it were DaFoe, then there would be no "RELEASE THE PIPEWEED!" line, which is gold Jerry, gold.

    DaFoe should be either the third troll, the other two being Helen Mirren and Christopher Walken, or he should be King Of The Eagles.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:44 No.12534113
    I love you internet.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:47 No.12534125
    Richard Armitage, Aidan Turner, Rob Kazinsky and Graham McTavish.

    ...Richard Armitage, Aidan Turner and Graham McTavish are all pretty good actors.

    Rob Kazinsky...some fucking nobody who's only ever acted in Eastenders...what the fuck is he doing in this, aside from the fact he looks like your average bing drinking friday night thug who attacks you for NOT looking at his "bird."
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:48 No.12534129
    >third troll

    >Danny DeVito
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:48 No.12534131
    Someone archive this before Nazi mod delete it.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:48 No.12534133

    you never know, maybe dude fucking loves im some goddamn hobbit, mate
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:48 No.12534135

    "Arrow!" said the bowman, "Black Arrow! I have saved you to the last. You have never failed me and always I have recovered you. I had you from my father and he from of old. If ever you came from the forges of the true king under the Mountain, go now and speed well!"

    The dragon swooped once more lower than ever, and as he turned and dived down his belly glittered white with sparkling fires of gems in the moon--but not in one place. The great bow twanged. The black arrow sped straight from the string, straight for the hollow by the left breast where the foreleg was swung wide. In it smote and vanished, barb, shaft, and feather, so fierce was its flight. With a shriek that deafened men, felled trees, and split stone, Smaug shot spouting into the air, turned over and crashed down from on high into ruin.

    /tg/ version:

    "I know what you're thinking, Robert Downy Jr.," said Clint Eastwood, "Did he fire six arrows or only five? Well to tell you the truth in all this excitement I've kinda lost track myself. But being this is an elven-crafted longbow- the most powerful bow in the world and would knock your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question--Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk!"

    To which Downey replied, "Look, this is all very illuminating, this 'arrow' mumbo-jumbo--but really, who gives a shit?"

    Then Samuel L. Jackson swooped down (Yes, Samuel L. Jackson can fly!), ripped open his shirt, and screamed, "You want my blood? Take my blood!"

    Then Eastwood picked up Downey and hurled him straight through Jackson's chest.

    Then, the mountain stirred in the distance. From its peak came a voice, loud and clear despite the distance.


    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:49 No.12534141
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    Graham McTavish is now replaced by Cpt. McTavish
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:50 No.12534143

    >ripped open his shirt, and screamed, "You goddamn motherfuckers want my blood? Take my motherfucking blood!"

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:50 No.12534145
    Made my day /tg/ This thread is glorious
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:52 No.12534152
    Cpt McTavish is now replaced by the Doom Space Marine, who could have any name you like really.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:52 No.12534153
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    My god....

    So beautiful.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:52 No.12534155

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:52 No.12534156

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:54 No.12534160

    >Then Eastwood picked up Downey and hurled him straight through Jackson's chest. This is symbolically represented by Downey floating to Jackson on a plume of fire and kissing the air resoundingly where he would have met the chest and then arcing his body orgasmically as he enters the body, turning transparent and disappearing. Minimal CGI will be used.

    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)12:55 No.12534163
    If anyone want a page/dialogue to edit I got the Hobbit book right here with me.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:58 No.12534184
    I'd pay to see this movie
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)12:59 No.12534190
    I love how this is movie is equal parts off-the-wall silliness and high-concept abstract stage performance
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:04 No.12534214
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:05 No.12534220
    Is this archive?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:06 No.12534225
    I may be contributing to the overusage of Brian Blessed, but I'm pretty sure he should also play the Drums in the Deep.

    This can only be done by means of him arriving on scene on a platform with a huge japanese taiko drum in the centre. Brian Blessed is wearing nothing but a loincloth and fiery red lion's mane wig. Slowly and deliberately, while as the hobbit foolishly disturbs the skeleton's bones in the depths of Moria, he puts on a tengu mask, staring unblinkingly at him. When the bucket falls down into the depths of Moria, he begins drumming.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:08 No.12534238
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    Once again /tg/ proves that it is the best board
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:09 No.12534242
    and shortly after he drops one of the drumsticks AND START SHOUTING BECAUSE OF THAT
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:10 No.12534244
    Why would need a drum? He should just shout "BOOM! BOOM!" with increasing intensity.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:16 No.12534271
    it's a film, he needs a prop. Unless he'd actually play the drum.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:16 No.12534276

    Movies are a visual medium, you know.

    Maybe we can meet in the middle by having the taiko drum manifest the face of brian blessed and scream "BOOM" each time it's hit. The WETA visual effects artists can do marvels.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:18 No.12534287
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    I'm really startled by how their two faces resembles each other...
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:19 No.12534299
    The Balrog is played by Nicolas Cage.

    You will know this because when he appears on screen his hair will be styled to look like a Balrog.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:20 No.12534309
    my hair is a balrog, you're argument is invalid

    hahaha fucking love it
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:24 No.12534324

    On further consideration I have decided that he himself should be dressed like a balrog as well, making him a symbolic Double Balrog.

    Remember, this is Durin's Bane, who survived the fall of his master morgoth, drove the dwarves out of Khazad-dum and held the place in thrall for five hundred years.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:25 No.12534326

    >my hair is a balrog, your wizardry is invalid

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:26 No.12534337
    I've got to say that Peter Jackson is an AMAZING storyteller. Lord of the Rings blew my mind and I'm sure The Hobbit will be just as good. I've been wanting to learn more about Middle Earth - I tried to read the books they based off the movies but but they were dry and slow-paced so I couldn't get into them.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:27 No.12534344
    I'm not knowledgeable in movie effects, but those people don't look dwarf combo sized. So how do they "dwarf-ify" them?
    >> An0nymous !gkWeiOwuW2 10/22/10(Fri)13:27 No.12534346
    rolled 26531 = 26531

    Peter Jackson's cameo is the bow that fires Robert Downey Junior.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:27 No.12534349
    Trying too hard.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)13:28 No.12534352
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    Oh god that's amazing.
    Actor for EVERY ROLE. Who's going to play the Black Gate? Osgiliath? GONDOR?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:28 No.12534353
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:34 No.12534382

    The gate of Minas Tirith will be Brian Blessed, who goes 'oof' each time Grond hits him.

    Grond will be an unusually bulked up Brad Pitt partially reprising his role as the gypsy boxer from Snatch.

    You will know this because the goblins and orcs will be pointing at him and chanting 'GROND! GROND!'.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:36 No.12534396

    >Black Gate?

    Wesley Snipes.

    He'll have to be fairly subtle with this role but I think he's up for it.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:36 No.12534400

    “Murderers and elf-friends!” the Great Goblin shouted. “Slash them! Beat them! Bite them! Gnash them! Take them away to dark holes full of snakes, and never let them see the light again!” He was in such a rage that he jumped off his seat and himself rushed at Thorin with his mouth open.

    Just at that moment all the lights in the cavern went out, and the great fire went off poof! into a tower of blue glowing smoke, right up to the roof, that scattered piercing white sparks all among the goblins... The sparks were burning holes in the goblins, and the smoke that now fell from the roof made the air too thick for even their eyes to see through. Soon they were falling over one another and rolling in heaps on the floor, biting and kicking and fighting as if they had all gone mad.

    Suddenly a sword flashed in its own light. Bilbo saw it go right through the Great Goblin as he stood dumbfounded in the middle of his rage. He fell dead, and the goblin soldiers fled before the sword shrieking into the darkness.

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:37 No.12534404

    /tg/ version:

    The Party is in the room from Labryinth where they do "Dance Magic Dance." David Bowie sits arrogantly on his throne and flips his proud blonde mane out of his eyes. Pointing a finger dramatically at the Party, he says, "Murderers and babe-friends! Glam them, sham them, bam them! Take them away to the Land of Stench and never let them see the light again!" Bowie is in such a rage that he bounds off his throne and himself rushes at Jason Statham, ready to burst into song. Morgan Freeman and the dwarves cower in fear.

    Just at that moment all the lights in the room go out, except for Stephen Fry undulating in a crimson jumpsuit at the center of the room, who has been there the whole time. Stephen gives a great cry and in a flash of light magically changes into a blue jumpsuit and begins to dance ferociously as sparks fill the room. In the flickering light, dozens of CGI Liam Neesons in gray tights swarm around all the goblins, putting his hands over their eyes, making odd faces, and generally being a dick. The goblins collapse and begin to fight one another.

    Suddenly Arnold Schwarzenegger appears clad in light, shining as if from within. His stony Austrian gaze seems to pierce Bowie's soul as the Goblin King is filled with fear. A bearded and robed Hugh Jackman emerges from the shadows, takes the brawny strongman by the hand, and nods. Ahnold extends a finger and lightly touches Bowie on the forehead. Bowie lets out a long and high musical note before collapsing dramatically.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)13:44 No.12534438
    AHahaha oh wow.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:47 No.12534458
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:47 No.12534459
    Best thread I've seen in weeks. I've cried tears of laughter. Another vote to archive.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:48 No.12534460
    Al Pacino as Gollum
    >> Here be current list of actor S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)13:49 No.12534466
    Morgan Freeman as Bilbo Baggins
    Hugh Jackman as Gandalf
    Arnold Schwarzenegger as Gandalf
    Samuel L Jackson as Smaug
    Bruce Willis as the Spiders of Mirkwood
    Jason Statham as Thorin Oakenshield
    Dolph Lundgren as king of the elves
    Helen Mirren as the trolls
    Clint Eastwood as Bard
    Rutger Hauer as Elrond
    Christopher Walken as Bert the Troll
    Tim Curry as Smaug's treasure hoard
    Brian Blessed as the mountain
    Crispin Glover as the Eagles
    Viggo Mortensen as the ponies
    Ian Holm as the One Ring
    Mickey Rourke as Gollum
    Monica Belluci as the subterranean lake where Gollum lost the Ring
    Forrest Whittaker as Fili and Kili
    Scarlett Johansson as the barrel Bilbo rides to the town on the lake
    Robert Downey Jr. as the arrow that pierces Smaug's underbelly
    Sting as Sting
    Bill Nighy as Beorn
    The cast of Friend as the voice of Smaug
    Cloned CGI frames of an oiled up Stephen Fry undulating in a crimson jumpsuit as Bilbo's fireplace
    Keanu Reeves as Grass
    Nimoy as the Narrator
    Simon Pegg as the Wargs
    Neil Patrick Harris as the Arkenstone
    Arnold Schwarzenegger as Glamdring
    Verne Troyer as the noble thrush that tells Bard where to shoot Smaug
    Sean Connery as Gandalf's beard
    Sean Connery as Ents
    Stig as Witch-King of Angmar
    Jackie Chan as Narsil/Anduril
    Joe Pesci as Saruman
    Willem Dafoe as Tom Bombadil
    The Rock as Orcs
    Patrick Stewart as the Palantir
    Stephen Fry as fire from Brian Blessed eyes
    Hugh Laurie as Bilbo's Pipe
    Stephen Fry as Smoke
    Liam Neeson as Smoke
    Nicolas Cage as The Balrog
    Peter Jackson as the Bow that fire Robert Downey Jr
    Brad Pitt as Grond
    Brian Blessed as Moria
    Brian Blessed as Minas Tririth
    Wesley Snipes as Black Gate
    David Bowie as Goblin Lord
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:49 No.12534474
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:50 No.12534480
    I have no idea what the hell is going on in this thread, but I think I like it.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:50 No.12534482

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:52 No.12534492

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:54 No.12534502

    you forgot keanu reeves as the waves at the grey havens
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)13:55 No.12534511
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:56 No.12534517
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    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:56 No.12534518

    Somebody needs to send this to Peter Jackson.

    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:58 No.12534532
    They better have fucking beards

    I see nothing but clean shaven and stubble fags in that link
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:58 No.12534533

    Some are wrong.
    See this one for corrections:
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)13:59 No.12534538
    Thread has been archived, but we're missing some writefaggotry at the end of this thread. There a way to update it? These pearls should not be lost.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:00 No.12534552

    I think it updates itself.

    Regardless, Thanks /tg/ for cheering me up
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:03 No.12534572
    If you enter it into the request dialogue again, it will update. Otherwise, it'll update automatically. The automatic is enough to get everything before it 404's, but if the mode deletes this we'd likely have a problem.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:03 No.12534573

    /tg/, why are you not high-grossing genius directors?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:03 No.12534581

    I would write another one but I'm off to a movie. With the updated cast, it's easy. And if you're a fa/tg/uy of any standing, you have the book somewhere. Just open a page to your favorite scene and /tg/ it up. Surprisingly easy :)
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:05 No.12534591
    are we safe in assuming sir Ian McKellen is returning as Gandalf right?
    Right guys?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:08 No.12534616

    Arnold Schwarzenegger, with Sean Connery as his beard.

    Although Huge Jackman is also down for Gandalf, maybe in a different scene.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:09 No.12534628

    I think Arnold is a sword of some wort, with Huge Jackman taking the role of Gandalf. Could be wrong, though.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)14:09 No.12534631
    Gandalf the Grey as Huge.
    Gandalf the White as Arnold
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:10 No.12534633
    Someone needs to do another scene. My thirst for more is overpowering.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:10 No.12534634

    I thought we had a picture of Ahnold with a beard. Maybe I'm mistaken.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:11 No.12534638
    Because people explode when they watch 3 hours of beards wearing hats talking with the elvish king Dolph Lundgren, while keanu reeves hums gently in the background.
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)14:11 No.12534640
    No wait. Arnold as the Grey since he can do the "Fly you fool scene" with "I'LL BE BACK"
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:11 No.12534642

    Alright, looks like he was Gandalf, then changed to Glamdring, then Orcrist.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:12 No.12534645

    How about Arnold in the action scenes and Hugh Jackman in the dialogs

    With clever camera cuts the transitions will be seamless.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:13 No.12534651
    give me some excerpts then, for some reason i can't copy/paste from the pdf of the hobbit.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:15 No.12534658

    To further distinguish them arnold should be wearing terminator style sunglasses.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:15 No.12534659
    Don't worry, I'm sure he's with us right now.
    I can feel it...
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:20 No.12534695
    And featuring Shia LeBeouf as Bilbo's wisecracking son.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:20 No.12534698
    Ahnold is definitely Gandalf the White.


    Imagine him walking down the corridor with a box of roses. The terminator theme is playing in the background. He sees an orc and drops the box. You see roses slowly falling and hitting the floor, and he is now holding a huge wooden staff. For some reason he is wearing sunglasses. Sean Connery, his beard, is also wearing sunglasses. And a hat.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:22 No.12534706
    and here:

    Arnold is Grey, Huge is White
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:24 No.12534717
    arguing over gandalf is going to tear this project apart
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:25 No.12534721
    Ahnold is far better for fightan, therefore he has to be White, as White does more fightan.

    And Ahnolds quotes are far, far better.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:26 No.12534727
    Why are a lot of people including LOTR elements (Gandalf the White, for example) in a Hobbit movie?
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:29 No.12534740
    Perhaps you forgot Gandalf's time traveling DeLorean, where he comes back in time and meets himself.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:29 No.12534744
    Jesse Ventura as Saruman, with Bruce Campbell with a goatee as his beard.

    Also for some reason Saruman has muttonchops.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:29 No.12534748
    >And is the Hobbits is going to be create in New Zealand?
    only if the kiwis don't mind us setting the whole place on fire. Twice.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:29 No.12534750

    >Battle of Five Armies

    >implying we won't stay with Bilbo's perspective and miss it completely

    The siege and the killing of Smaug would still be fuck awesome though.
    >> An0nymous !gkWeiOwuW2 10/22/10(Fri)14:30 No.12534755
    rolled 35429 = 35429

    /tg/ Making the greatest movie of all time.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:31 No.12534759
    I'm not gonna lie, I'm kinda feeling this one more

    It's just so much more fitting for swords and sorcery
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:31 No.12534765
    that's a valid point. We We need a third gandalf [the Ecru?] played by Christopher Lloyd
    >> S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 10/22/10(Fri)14:32 No.12534769
    Hahaha. I want them to be made in New Zealand since the Tri movie is already made there.
    I'm still thinking that Tolkien just went "screw this let the plot continue" and knock him out.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:34 No.12534785
    forgot mah link


    exact same scene, with rose box and staff, in slow motion. Falling bodies timed to when the strings kick in
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:41 No.12534833
    >> Abdul Alhazred, the Mad Arab !Jagyd/33aU 10/22/10(Fri)14:41 No.12534836
         File1287772900.jpg-(17 KB, 385x324, Fat_bastard..jpg)
    17 KB
    Starring Mike Myers reprising his role as Fat Bastard in a fatsuit as Fat Hobbits #1-4
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:45 No.12534872
    >Falling Bodies

    I'm so sorry...
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:47 No.12534888
    John Stewart as Elrond.
    >> Janus the Cleric !99.HLh9Gm2 10/22/10(Fri)14:51 No.12534930
         File1287773504.jpg-(7 KB, 480x360, 0.jpg)
    7 KB
    Oh god...I can see it now, but Bilbo needs to be Samuel L. Jackson not Freeman.

    Bilbo(Jackson), Gandalf (Schwarzeneggar) and Thorin(Statham) walks into a room with Bert the troll(Walken), Goblin King(David Bowie) & Sting eating roast Warg from Saurons Burger Joint.
    Bilbo-"How all you boys doing? Now now, keep chilling."
    *Bilbo turns to Bert*
    Bilbo-"Do you know who we are? We're associates of your business partner Gorthaur the Cruel."
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)14:56 No.12534964
    Stephen Colbert as Bilbo's front door.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)15:05 No.12535029
    Ah, Arnold carving the Burglar's mark on his skin with a knife.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)15:16 No.12535127
    Don't you die on me!
    >> An0nymous !gkWeiOwuW2 10/22/10(Fri)15:49 No.12535464
    rolled 29855 = 29855


    I think this thread has reached the pinnacle of perfection.

    Lets let it live on in memories.
    >> Anonymous 10/22/10(Fri)16:41 No.12535996

    Shadowfax is actually the DeLorean.

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