-I can't carry more than two vials of poison at a time
-If I am carrying more vials of poison at a time, such as, from the lab to the home; I have to stay 20 feet away from all pits.
-If, for some odd reason, I do decide to approach a pit while carrying more than 2 vials of poison, I better have drunk an antidote.
-If I didn't drink an antidote, and fell into a pit, I will be left there to die.
-(This one is not about me). If the party paladin, for some odd reason, decides to help the wizard out of the pit, smears himself with Black Lotus Extract, and also dies, it be upon his own head.
-I am not allowed to make deals with the enemies of our allies. Well, I technically am, but that means our Diplomancer and fighter will kill me.
-I am not allowed to polymorph myself into a lusty, curvy elven wench, cast Clone, and have sex with my own body.
-Nor am I allowed to polymorph myself into a lusty, curvy elven wench; dominate another PC, polymorph him into a lusty, curvy elven wench and have sex with her either.
-I am not allowed to create a barrel of alchemist fire, and then roll it off a ramp in a tavern.
Also, one that's somewhat legit:
I'm not allowed to make sound tactical and strategic decisions without having ranks in Knowledge: Warfare
I am not allowed to steal the soldier's merwaide, no matter how inexplicable it is.