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  • File : 1275099263.jpg-(795 KB, 1680x1050, 1272506361514[1].jpg)
    795 KB Monk of Funk 05/28/10(Fri)22:14 No.10123615  
    /tg/ rap thread?
    /tg/ rap thread.

    Damn /tg/ im extendin a challenge
    bring all your brave, tag on some valience
    rhyme like a bard, sting like a rapier
    roll a will save, but the dice wont save ya
    FAILED, mind effecting affect-
    you just got schooled, keep your ass in check
    >> Monk of Funk 05/28/10(Fri)22:18 No.10123679
    Come on /tg/, don't make me drop a bump
    just cuz you can't rhyme, make ya feel like a chump
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:18 No.10123695
    Figures I'd have to be here with no access to my "Support the Fine Arts, Shoot a Rapper" image.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:19 No.10123702
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:19 No.10123704
    What you're not expecting is my Iron Heart Surge
    This ain't a rap, it's your funeral dirge
    Already undead? Then get ready to suffer
    My words cut sharper than a Holy Avenger
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:20 No.10123729
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    >> Monk of Funk 05/28/10(Fri)22:21 No.10123739
    I see how it is, no challengers here
    quiverin neckbeards tremblin with fear
    Monk of Funk holdin in his rhyme
    I'll wait a bit longer
    for you to come up with a line
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:22 No.10123760
    RAP = Retards Attempting Poetry

    RAP = Crap, whose homie C got capped.

    RAP = Pure Drek.
    >> Monk of Funk 05/28/10(Fri)22:26 No.10123842

    Finally, a fa/tg/uy with some guts
    one hand on the keyboard, one on his nuts

    Funeral son, I like that noise
    start your dirge now, call your boys
    my fists be magic, my fists be lawful
    Aint no undead here, but yo stench is awful
    holy avenger, hah i see that trick
    ten gold to your name, you cant buy that shit
    best beg the dm to let you get a prize
    But your dice cant roll big, just hafta die
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:26 No.10123843
    Rap is not bad.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:27 No.10123867

    Yo man you think your rhymes are slick
    But if you think about it they just suck dick
    We're not your homies or your click
    And we sure as hell ain't your side-kick
    So sit down or shut up. Take your pick
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:28 No.10123878
    Behold my rap
    this will rhyme
    wait no
    it won't but maybe the next line
    >> Noise Marine Ned 05/28/10(Fri)22:28 No.10123879
         File1275100091.jpg-(8 KB, 120x120, csm_01.jpg)
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    Yo, yo, yo check it.
    Who the fuck you think you are?
    Coming up in here and challenging me?
    Yo ima knock yo bitch-ass so hard.
    That when you wake up you won't be able to see

    Yo you think you're the shit
    But you can't stand up to my spit
    You're so fuckin far/
    below my CR/
    That even while under the influence of delerients
    For this I probably won't even get experience

    Bitch you talking will saves
    And you talking rollin dice
    Well bitch i'm talking raves and shit
    and decking out in ice

    So before you come back,
    "monk of funk"
    Think before you rap
    Else we'll be sayin
    "Monk? Dude's junk"
    While you're bitch is

    representin' eye of terror up in this bitch.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:29 No.10123895

    You mean clique?
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:29 No.10123898

    What a cute rhyme, bet you worked all night
    thinkin' it up, well now you've got a fight
    So I'm here representing for my main man
    None other than Slaanesh, better check your SAN
    Cause he'll throw a party that'll blow your mind
    So why don't we all cut loose and unwind
    It's a friday night, let's get some raps goin'
    Since the OP's skillz havn't been showin'
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:29 No.10123903
    Yo /tg/ I herd you liek dem nigguhs
    nigguh nigguh nigguh nigguh money bitches hoes
    nigguh nigguh nigguh nigguh money bitches hoes
    Homes over hoes homies over hoes
    nigguh nigguh nigguh nigguh money bitches hoes
    nigguh nigguh nigguh nigguh money bitches hoes
    >> Monk of Funk 05/28/10(Fri)22:32 No.10123939

    Oh shit, OH shit, OH SHIIIIIT

    Noise marine, hah that's all I hear
    No rhyme to hear of, no skill over here
    My fists be lawful, overcome ya DR
    Fuckin beat you and ya CR
    sock boom smack pow
    whippin ya like a drow
    cant get up now
    too much damage to handle
    more hits than the dm will allow
    So damn grimdark-dark
    cant see in front of your face
    only hearing my words, bringin you disgrace
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:33 No.10123948
    hear and here. God damn, you are horrible. Stop this, please.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:33 No.10123950
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:34 No.10123975

    If we want to rap than that's what we'll do
    But don't expect us to fucking impress you
    I swear to The Emperor you must be new
    But your style's as old as Pikachu
    So just go back to writing you fic's Mary Sue
    We're all done here. Shit is through
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:36 No.10123998
    Now I see you got mystical, furious fists
    Eastern feng-shui, and all that shit
    Skin ain't half as strong as dwarven steel
    My mic's cold iron, my words an iron heel

    Full attack pounce following a verbal charge
    I'm Medium size, but my rhymes are Large
    If you ain't Stable, then get ready for Improved Trip
    Your style is prone, your verbal wrists are limp
    >> Monk of Funk 05/28/10(Fri)22:36 No.10124009
         File1275100607.png-(36 KB, 736x736, Awesome.png)
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    >implying this is serious rap and not just for fun
    >okay hun?
    >> MC Necromaster 05/28/10(Fri)22:37 No.10124015
         File1275100639.jpg-(178 KB, 826x767, MC Necromaster.jpg)
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    You call yourself the monk of funk
    Steppin' an' reppin' like you know krunk
    But son, you're just another 2bit punk
    Sit right down while I educate you, bitch.

    You think you're special coz you fight with yo hands
    Coz you took a vow of poverty and renounced all yo lands
    I'm telling you it makes you no different to any other homeless fuck
    And with flow like that on my bone you can suck

    DJ Cadaver, lay me a beat.

    I'm a lyrical master
    A black magic caster
    My flow is faster
    Magic blastin' right past ya
    I'm an abomination
    A 1 man nation
    Giving you some education
    Becoz your flow is weak
    Shut it, don't even speak
    Coz my bro's might reek
    But you'll find they're more then a match for you

    No matter how fast you are, you can't outrun my magic missile
    No matter your dicipline, you'll die after a short while
    And then I'll bring you back, set yo in yo place
    A cheap dancing zombie thrill in your case
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:37 No.10124018
         File1275100642.png-(96 KB, 300x295, 938394-slaanesh_mark_large.png)
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    Well what a sight for sore eyes, a fellow man of the prince of pleasure
    What brought you over here, XP or treasure?
    Whatever the case, I think it's best
    That we put the so called "Monk of Funk" to the test
    He can't hold his own against two bros of the eye
    He's practically dead already, he shouldn't even try
    >> MC Recitation 05/28/10(Fri)22:40 No.10124068
         File1275100808.gif-(387 KB, 1000x1000, 1274321539095.gif)
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    I see a lot of words
    but not a lot of talent;
    from the rhymes you've been bustin
    I have doubts you're even salient.
    Props for your courage,
    but it's over, son, you're done:
    >> Monk of Funk 05/28/10(Fri)22:40 No.10124075
    This dwarf is so brave
    Comin out of his cave
    Away from his anvil
    Into the light of day

    But I tell you what urist, get back to the fort
    I see a rhesus macaque
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:40 No.10124082
    >> Noise Marine Ned 05/28/10(Fri)22:41 No.10124101
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    Yo bitch you bring that weaksauce
    fucking 12 lines of whack
    Bitch you you gunna get tossed
    fuck your shit from front to back
    It's noise marine ned in here
    my 1+ save is invulnerable
    My flow's totally untouchable
    and my lyrics are innumerable
    You fuck monk I bet you can't even
    pronounce words like that
    and if you can't why ain't we seein,
    you using words above a 5th grade vocabulary?
    Or rhyming like you read a book,
    before we went you to the mortuary?

    You think your puny close combat weapons
    Can touch my powered-armoured ass?
    Bitch you fuckin best be trippin.
    Don't be givin me that sass
    My damage reduction is infinity/jack shit
    My armor class is 90
    My fort, reflex, and will saves are high as I am
    And I you can't even find me.
    My weed smoke grant's me total concealment
    All you detect is flow from floor to the cielin

    Your 3 good saves aren't going to save you now
    My rhymes are like a forcecage
    You totally trapped, and you don't know how,
    to escape cuz you ain't got a mage.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:42 No.10124123
         File1275100952.jpg-(171 KB, 820x1312, 1272673819171[1].jpg)
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    Goddamnit if Sword n' Board doesn't make an appearence I will be sorely disappointed
    >> Monk of Funk 05/28/10(Fri)22:42 No.10124128
    Up from the grave
    out into the night
    comes a worm ridden sucka
    spittin rhyme this way

    I don't need no lands, like a punk six feet under
    sleep under the stars, deal with rain wind and thunder
    raise ya dead, ill push em back down
    then your turn
    Get the fuck underground
    >> Mix-Mastermancer 05/28/10(Fri)22:43 No.10124136
    Extend a challenge to /tg/?
    Man, you know we'll take it
    Just wait 'til SnB shows up with his fake shit
    Joking around man, his rhymes are legit
    Flow so hot it makes amateurs quit

    I'm Mix-Mastermancer, son
    Dropping spells and beat
    Fireballs so hot, it'll put your bitch in heat
    Come back for round two, the show'll repeat
    Rhymes so good it's a 4th ed feat
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:45 No.10124180
    I wish Sword and Board were here
    >> Mix-Mastermancer 05/28/10(Fri)22:51 No.10124281
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    Back for round two
    And this fight just ain't fair
    Firin' away while everyone stares
    Triple M dog, and I'm holdin' my own
    You're in trouble, and about to be shown
    Just what's up when you step in my lair
    Without a care, shootin' out a rare stare
    You're just in time to see me be a bear

    And then I was a bear.
    >> The Night Haunter 05/28/10(Fri)22:52 No.10124304
         File1275101547.jpg-(245 KB, 900x1272, Konrad_Curze_by_slaine69.jpg)
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    What is this another rap thread?
    Its not like it'll make you any bread.
    All day you know I'm the Emperor's son,
    But I'll be Emperor damned if my planet ever seen the sun.
    Straight up in this bitch like a bat out of hell
    Excuse the pun but this shit I gotta tell,

    So flung into to warp you know how it is,
    Stolen from birth by the chaos forces.
    But I'm not bitch made and I didn't make no fuss
    Just bust straight out of Nostramo's crust
    No mama no daddy not like my brothers nothing on my feet
    Only teacher I needed was the streets

    So look around and what do I see
    Criminal scum from sea to darkening sea
    So I bust my move, made my scene, knew I wouldn't falter
    Whos that crazy Primarch?
    Hes the motherfucker Night Haunter.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:52 No.10124311

    I second that emotion. Shit is cash.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:53 No.10124321
    This is the best rap in this thread
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)22:56 No.10124380
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    Comin' straight out of the eye with something say
    These rhymes need more Her-rah-say
    Noisy Ned can only rep so far
    You all know how those Slaaneshies are
    You can all hate on those from the galactic west
    But we're the only ones that have stood the test
    of time, ten thousand years of Hate
    and bitterness, I think we need icing on this cake
    For those of you who weren't there to see it happen
    I gave your god emperor quite the bitch slappin'
    He tried to play the good ol' absentee father
    but honestly he shouldn't have even bothered
    I did the Warmaster gig all on my own
    While he spent his time making chairs at home
    Even invited Rogal Dorn to play
    Fuck that, fuck him, and fuck terra I say
    If anyone can claim power on humanity
    Horus here, Warmaster for eternity!
    >> MC Recitation 05/28/10(Fri)22:59 No.10124431
    They call you noise marine
    'Cause noise is all you're makin'.
    You have a rhyme or two
    but your beat, has it been taken?
    Here's a hint, helmet-head:
    Mid-short-long, 1-down-and-2
    Do it with me now
    Simple counts you can bestrew.
    Your armor's nice and pink
    but my metal eye is keen!
    You think your flow is fresh
    but marine, your rap is green.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:01 No.10124454
         File1275102070.jpg-(16 KB, 205x206, Heresy Seal.jpg)
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    This thread is Heresy, a waste of damn space
    When I set the guardsmen, I'll put you in your place
    I mean rap is fine but damn
    Please turn down the ham
    Pull back the scam
    Watch as I

    You think this is funny, you think you're top shit
    With your excess and hopes for a crit?
    Don't think you're top gun
    Man thats worse than the worst pun
    Watch me here poke fun
    Lemme call the marines watch you run

    Humans we got it all
    Watch us rise you fall
    As we play the reels
    All you've got is what you steel

    Because thats it it's the name of the game
    All you're doing, shit it's all the same
    Making zombies taking cultists
    Man that's sad look at our thiests

    Lemme show you who's boss
    Reeling back from the loss
    And watching neckbeards go SAUCE
    >> MC Recitation 05/28/10(Fri)23:04 No.10124502
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    You started out real strong,
    but then it turned to dreck.
    But what would you expect
    from a rotting heretic?
    Yeah, those claws are nice
    but you fell in the end!
    Hey, kinda like this battle
    and the power you pretend!
    >> Noise Marine Ned 05/28/10(Fri)23:04 No.10124512
         File1275102292.jpg-(8 KB, 120x120, csm_02.jpg)
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    Yo yo yo
    You ever even heard a rap battle?
    Don't be bringing that high school shit here
    Or you'll get butchered like cattle
    You say the first line should be short
    Like the OP's attention span?
    Or like your dick?
    Or the lives of people in afghanistan?
    And the middle should be long
    now long, I can feel
    Long like my dick
    or your dildoes.
    Fer real.

    Listen up mate.
    until you get some experience in rap.
    Don't be bringing that english teacher crap.
    Or, like the monk of spunk,
    You gunna get slapped.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:06 No.10124539

    If everything was as clean as that last bit, that would've been impressive.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:08 No.10124563
    Oh shit what have we here, what a disgrace
    Bunch of busters think they can rap, y'all out of place
    What a waste
    When I'm done y'all wish you could erase every trace
    Hide your face, y'all are about to get maced and defaced by my lyrical grace, debased
    I set the pace, hit the treble drop the bass
    You're the two I'm the ace, knock you down like a vase that ain't braced
    Whatever your race I'll give chase lock you up in a case and misplace take your place with your girl all in lace it's me she'll embrace
    So you'd best displace to save face
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:12 No.10124602
    In my moms basement
    full neck beard
    check out tg
    bust out my mike
    take a sip a' mountain dew
    rocka fresh beat
    now I'm spittin at you

    Hittin y'all hard
    like barbarian rage
    don't know the rule?
    I bookmarked the page
    Look it up, take ya time
    I gots no where to go
    I gots mad rhymes
    cuz I gots no ho.

    Rollin 20s all round
    mad loots on mah sheet
    dead kobolds all around
    my fire mage brought the heat!
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:14 No.10124646

    Pro-tip: Googling "What rhymes with disgrace" is cheating.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:15 No.10124648
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    Well, well, lookie here you mortal men are so cute
    I'll watch you live
    watch you die
    watch your bones melt into soup
    I don't think you can grasp what immortal means
    I live forever and my life is the stuff of your dreams
    Sure, yeah, Hey I took a minor setback
    But these points of eight are still on the attack
    You can't kill us
    You can't beat us
    We'll be here to the end
    Cause we're made of the very stuff you got within
    Yeah get angry
    Yeah crack that smile
    Hang some new wallpaper
    It doesn't matter someday you'll die
    Then all I can say is that your soul will be mine
    To play with while I wait for the time
    OF ENDING We'll you'll all take a knee and bow
    and the original Warmaster assumes the crown
    You mortals ain't got shit on our daemon filled veins
    Cause it's Last Man Standing is the name of the game
    >> MC Recitation 05/28/10(Fri)23:15 No.10124658
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    Yeah, you say this rap is high school
    but that must put you somewhere in the middle.
    Check it, even at your best
    you'll still only be second fiddle.
    The fiddle, that's an instrument.
    Y'know, from back on Holy Terra?
    Nevermind, it's above you;
    in fact, it's a whole 'nother strata.
    I'll make this long story short
    for your tiny, little brain:
    I recognize you're tryin'
    but you ain't sayin' a thing!
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:17 No.10124685
    >> MC Necromaster 05/28/10(Fri)23:18 No.10124705
    B'fore I tear up your shit, gonna get one thing clear
    I ain't never been dead, No reaper been here
    Came to undeath straight from life
    And its time for me to give you some strife
    Stop your rhymes with me sacrificial knife
    To power some more artificial un-life

    Sleeping in the open?
    I wonder how you'll be coping
    With the storms I can call
    To hail all over y'all
    While my minions clime from their grave-cribs
    To split yo skull and open up them ribs
    You might be able to handle a dozen of my zombie crew
    But number Ninethousand and one gonna get you,
    Coz you only have so many uses per day
    And they'll keep on coming anyway

    Motherfucker, you call me a lich?
    Y'don know who you're dealin' with, do you bitch?
    I'm the original ex-mortal that ain't ever been dead
    A magician lyrical all up in your head

    I'm castin' the rhyme
    Flow that can stop time
    And your disciplined soul
    Is now my new goal
    So step up and make your roll
    Coz I'm casting on a 3+
    On 4d6 with no miscast
    Don't go making no fuss
    I'll trap you in the past
    Coz I'm a mage chronomagical
    Necromancer fantastical
    And a dancer something radical

    Bring it sucker, I ain't never gonna die
    Grim reaper don't got shit on me
    If you come to my lair, I'll laugh and fly
    Your little fists can't reach you see?
    I'll give the command, with a wave of m'hand
    Your skeleton will take my side
    You'll make a rather messy cadaver
    When your bones ain't on your inside.

    Step the fuck down, ya robe wearin' non caster. You ain't got shit on me.
    >> Noise Marine Ned 05/28/10(Fri)23:20 No.10124739
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    Yo fuckers look what we got left
    This thread's almost dead
    We got the king of rhymes,
    Noise marine Ned.

    We got some greasy fa/tg/uy
    playin a blaster mage
    Thinks he's shit cuz he rolls 20
    But when I roll up all he can do is rage

    We got an admech english teacher
    criticizing our grammar.
    But he don't know he just walked into a monster movie
    Double feature
    and I'm about to drop the hammer.

    We got anon the nobody
    thinkin he's an ace.
    But he's a disgrace in this race
    He thinks he in the lead
    all he can do is chase.

    We got Mr Ordo Dicksuckitus
    Callin down exterminatus
    Thinks jackin off to battle sisters
    Will give him anything but blisters

    And what happened to the Monk of Junk
    Did he take his 9th grade finals
    and found out he flunked?
    Or did he break his Elvis Vinyls
    Or is he jackin it to furry porn
    Or did he get is anus torn?
    Did he drown in our collective flow?
    Did find the center of his tootsie pop?
    The world may never know.

    Yo it's been fun.
    But i'm done.
    I'm out.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:25 No.10124796

    I don't need more than one rhyme to slaughter you fools
    I was rockin' the beat while you were napping in school
    Close your mouth wipe the drool from your chops
    Or get popped and dropped in a burial plot
    No time to raise the cops take me five seconds, tops
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:28 No.10124840
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    >> Matt Ward 05/28/10(Fri)23:29 No.10124857

    'Ay yo motherfucker, you don't fuck with Ward yeah.
    I'll spit them words that'll make ya butt sore yeah.
    You should back down now, I fuckin' implore ya.
    They call me Dora the Dwarf 'cause I'm a cave explorer.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:31 No.10124895
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    Alright ned you've been a good protoge
    but step down now daddy's gonna ruin their day
    their week, their month, their year
    I got giant speakers for weapons I know y'all can hear
    Crank that bass, crank that trebble, shove it right in your ear
    first come the Daemonettes, then Fulgrim's here
    Wait for it, wait for it, you'll have your turn
    set your face on fire to enjoy the burn
    We'll get extreme in this bitch
    and mountain dew doesn't cut it
    try boiling blood instead
    I'll guarantee that you'll love it
    Now if any of you got a beet with me
    I'd like you to meet my brother Ferrus Manus, tee-hee
    Sorry he doesn't talk much these days since he lost his head
    Maybe should have been the Iron Necks instead
    but he's an example of what I'll do to you
    with words with weapons with whatever I choose
    >> MC Powersword 05/28/10(Fri)23:32 No.10124899
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    Yo, Mechanicus Crunkium, lay me down a beat

    Immortal Fucker?
    I'll put yo punk ass down like a sucker
    You'll be a real villain some day
    Or that's what you say
    But for now you're just the freak of the week
    You're flow is just so weak it's unique
    Listen to me speak

    You're like the cobra commander
    2 arms short of wielding the 2 hander
    Your crusades are so fucking tedious
    We just rock on up to watch some TACTICAL GENIUS
    You sit you punk as down and take some heed
    Coz after so long you can't beat Creed

    This isn't anger, it's RIGHTEOUS ZEAL
    Get on yo knees and kneel
    Start to pray for me
    To the only god, the big E
    Coz when I die, fighting Mankind
    I'll join my god and be joyous to find
    That I can fight on, with the power of rhyme
    To fuck your shit up, for all of time
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:32 No.10124904
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    Damn it feels good to be a Davion
    A real Davion-ass general deploys his 'Mechs right
    A real Davion-ass general never runs from fuckin' Dracs
    Cuz real Davion-ass generals don't start fights
    And Max Liao always gotta high cap
    Showin' all his boys how he pogrommed 'em
    But real Davion-ass generals don't kill civilians
    Cuz real Davion-ass generals know they need 'em
    And everything's cool in the mind of a Davion
    Cuz Davion-ass generals think deep
    Up three-sixty-five a year 24/7 TST
    Cuz real Davion-ass generals don't sleep

    And all I gotta say to you
    Wannabe, gonna-be, frackencrakin', coolant-eatin' prankstas
    'Cause when the Clans come down what the fuck you gonna do?
    Damn it feels good to be a Davion.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:32 No.10124920
    ITT: Fat white guys trying to rap
    >> MC Recitation 05/28/10(Fri)23:35 No.10124967
         File1275104106.jpg-(125 KB, 500x418, 1274164307474.jpg)
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    Holy feth! About time!
    Looks like you hit your stride.
    Maybe in that geneseed hidden
    you have that rhythm peptide.
    See? All you really needed
    Was an adversary;
    Someone around to challenge
    Your flow oh so dreary.
    It's still pretty rocky
    (go on, give me your flak)
    Still, hope the Inquisitor is gone
    because: Chaos? Respeck.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:35 No.10124972
         File1275104126.jpg-(18 KB, 329x555, paladin.jpg)
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    Oh well what have we here?
    A shit necromancer thinking he's without peer?
    A fleshy cultist turning his mouth in a sneer?
    SPESS MURINE scratches head over a new gear?

    Paladin here, original white knight
    Since Charlamagne riding, giving darkness a fright
    You're negative I'm positive I don't even switch settings
    One cure wounds I ain't even fretting

    Lets bring in the cleric and the favored soul
    Three spearshafts pounding this sorry ass troll
    Cutting him down like a crunchy spring roll

    With the sword and the shield and the full plate
    The axe, the spear, to us they're all great

    Fighting hard, outdoing bards, watching fold wild cards.
    Move over neckbeard, you sorry ass lard.

    Now come on, before you're remains I discard.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:35 No.10124973
    Best in thread
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:42 No.10125093
    You know, you guys don't have to keep using the AA:BB format...

    This thread reads like a fucking Dr. Seuss book
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:43 No.10125111

    Was actually thinking of experimenting in my next bit.
    >> Matt Ward 05/28/10(Fri)23:44 No.10125156
    Listen up dawg, FUCK the mutant.
    Do you bitches know me?
    I'm fuckin important.
    I'm a real life emprah
    A man among teens
    Get out of my way
    or face my space marines

    I got money and bitches
    beyond the 'perium's vastness
    I brought order to chaos,
    I hate Orks for their crassness

    Let's put it this way
    My writing is sex
    If you don't agree?
    Then your army is next!
    >> MC Recitation 05/28/10(Fri)23:45 No.10125172
    I was doing ABAB, thank you very much.
    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:47 No.10125198

    gtfo matt ward nobody likes you.
    >> Noise Marine Ned 05/28/10(Fri)23:54 No.10125290
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    >> Anonymous 05/28/10(Fri)23:54 No.10125298
    To the beat of Single by Lil Wayne...
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)00:02 No.10125468
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    They call me the Celtic Guardian
    Stronger than titanium
    Sharp as a comedian
    here I am, sold out all the stadium
    I'm not a lower class dueling monster where did you get that rediculus conseptiun?
    Did the blue eyes white dragon tell you that?
    Fuck the blue eyes white dragon.

    ... seriously.
    >> MC Necromaster 05/29/10(Sat)00:08 No.10125560
    Oh look, a white knight, par for the course
    Thinking he's holy shit, coz he can ride on a horse
    What happens when your smites find an unkillable force?
    Fuck of Pelor, all the best gods are norse.

    Don't bother with detect evil, I've put up a sign
    "To all blackgaurds to be, apply within."
    Your families bodies and souls, damn straight they're mine
    And so will you be, when I bend you to sin

    You think you'll step up and heal the damage I'll be throwin'
    You'll be chunky salsa, before you be knowin'
    Your spirit i'll raise and tortue 'til mah bone you be blowin'
    You're all talk now, but I'm not telling I'm showin'.

    You think your holy crew can compete with mine
    Just because you cats be spittin' magic divine?
    I'll indtoduce you to DJ Fel Knight
    A sword and boarding nightmare who knows how to fight
    He was put together just to extinguish you punkass light
    From the bones of a paladin, a dead god and pure fright

    Next is my steed, a reanimated dire shark
    Flying with power unholy, powered by magics so dark
    I got the idea from a Lich I once knew
    My unaligned homie, His name is drew.

    You think your holier-then-thou moves mean shit to me?
    I'm using the bones of the earth like it's elementary
    Get out of here punk, return when your older
    A little the wiser, and a little the bolder
    Then you might be something worth killing
    When it's time for your blood spilling
    I'll want to reanimate you to create an evil incarnate to eliminate all that is good in world
    You'll be watching, helpless when my plan is unfurled
    So enjoy a few more years of life while you can
    Because once you die, then you'll be MY man
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)00:14 No.10125681
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    Fuck y'all I'm drunk. Lemme read the thread and I'll get right on this shit.
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)00:16 No.10125718
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    Yeah wrong picture. I don't give a SHIT
    >> MC Necromaster 05/29/10(Sat)00:18 No.10125750
    Awwwwwww, shit. Here he is. Brace for impact.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)00:20 No.10125797
         File1275106831.jpg-(47 KB, 300x388, ItsOnNowChapsL.jpg)
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    >> Mix-Mastermancer 05/29/10(Sat)00:20 No.10125800

    Hear that?
    That's the sound of troops running home
    Fakers gonna get nothin', except what they've sown
    SnB here now, be putting on a show
    Rappin' low, slow, lyrics flowin' to and fro
    I'll step back and give him the mic spot
    Let's see all you liches hit him with your best shot
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)00:20 No.10125810
         File1275106855.jpg-(161 KB, 1048x1500, Paladin2.jpg)
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    Bitch don't go unkillable
    You're already dead
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)00:23 No.10125858

    Mispost, shit keyboard.

    Bitch don't say unkillable
    You're already dead
    Aint no battle unwinnable
    With a strike to the head

    Fighting hard, smashing bone
    No wild card, no Greenhilt clone

    Swords beat sorcerers
    Blades beat bitches

    Beats beat Blasphamy
    Quitters so mad at me!
    >> Waaaaaghmillionaire 05/29/10(Sat)00:31 No.10126043
         File1275107482.gif-(28 KB, 293x306, ork.gif)
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    Itz open mic at da board, I is arrivin late
    but dat dont matter, cuz i gonna seal ur fate
    wif dark clouds and shoutz, de earff will quake
    da boyz iz back for a foight, d6s wif a template
    I do dis all wif no magic, no weirdboyz or wizardz
    gork an mork give me blessinz to reveal ur innerds
    a rap foight at noight iznt fair shot for u guyz
    cuz me rhymes glow in da dark, strike like a baneblade surprise
    like flashlightz from guardsmen, I is subtle but lethal
    I leave u worse off than a Matt Ward sequel
    humies wif keyboards, only choice, bow down
    Double O, Original Ork, only brand in town
    sneak up from behind, Snikrot cause a spectacle
    dont need afford Creed, got me own genius tactical
    only orkz can be dis bling an strike, fade ta dust
    reflect light into space, bend ur ass and thrust
    so when u wave ur rhymes around and cower in fear
    Remembuh da Orkz is da reason u're here
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)00:32 No.10126064
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    Reading this thread got me rolling fort, reflex, and will,
    Barely made the save on this toxic lyrical spill,
    Your flow's beyond ill, it's straight contagious,
    Outrageous, hellacious, but I'll be courageous,
    You ain't prepared to face this; I'm ostentatious,
    I got the drink in my hand, ready to get loquacious,
    bodacious flow, spit from the mouth of Mimir;
    Ready to rock this shit? y'all better simmer--
    and comparatively, I make y'all look dimmer,
    and Zimmer's got nothin' on the beats I produce
    Sword n' Board in the house, laying down the abuse.
    >> MC Necromaster 05/29/10(Sat)00:34 No.10126108
    This necromancer ain't ever been dead
    I might not be living, I'm something else instead
    I'm the original ex-mortal walking
    Before the vampires ever be stalking
    Before Liches be reading their tomes
    Or fel knights be burning down homes
    I'm not just a necromancer
    I'm lethal like cancer
    The original MC Necromaster in the crypt
    I'm as sorcerous as SwordnBoard is ripped
    Step the fuck down and leave the posts for the lyricists
    If you step on up, I hope you got spell resists.
    >> MC Recitation 05/29/10(Sat)00:36 No.10126146
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    Swords beat sorcerers?
    I not-so-kindly disagree.
    But it's cool! I've spotted
    Your flaw du philosophy:
    You've been buffin' that brawn
    Leavin' yo mind to atrophy.
    It's my guess that's why
    you rhyme monosyllabically.
    >> MC Recitation 05/29/10(Sat)00:38 No.10126179
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    ...I'm out.
    >> The Night Haunter 05/29/10(Sat)00:40 No.10126224
         File1275108054.jpg-(23 KB, 300x391, l_592abc9643414a339220381e9168(...).jpg)
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    I'm out
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)00:41 No.10126239
         File1275108088.jpg-(36 KB, 300x435, Paladin3.jpg)
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    Beatin Twipires ain't no big win
    Slicing you up and all your sorry kin

    I ain't no dumb barbarian I got my church texts
    I got my big blade watching you lurch back
    Trying to beat my blessings with, sorry ass hex
    Protector of the land, ready to attack

    Keep going and get ready to clap
    When I unleash more of my paladin rap
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)00:42 No.10126257
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)00:42 No.10126261
    I had no idea /tg/ was this white. I mean sure, traditional games, but... Shit.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)00:42 No.10126271
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    SnB, pressing the button.
    >> Waaaaaghmillionaire 05/29/10(Sat)00:52 No.10126445
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    Once again, Choppa an Wedge, slingin rhymes and slices of lime, inhis rap tonic so hypnotic, u dink u was smokin laced chronic, dont matter if ur weaponz is pretty or ur spellz catastrophic

    Devastatin humie skeles wif a sharp edge an some wood, u knew he could, liches be bitches complain "Your saves are no good!", empty words dat fall on deaf ears, cuz choppa-wedge is done wif dredge an only foights non-queers

    We aint no friendz but we both recognize
    when sucka DJs who could nevuh touch da skies
    come frontin with empty clips and rusty beak
    on der power armor left over from crusades bleak
    best step back and bask, in da sparks and colors hue
    of SnB and Waaaaghmillionaire, combining to end you

    but I gotz a real sneaky surprise for u all
    a final technique not even Kubo could draw
    itz the end of this mask, I confess itz a lie
    Waaaaaghmillionaire ain't a real orky guy
    dere's a humie in here, he's roight propa clever
    get ready to meet him, he just pulled the lever

    Step back you fools, this masquerade is over...
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)00:54 No.10126495
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    I wore the orky mask for a while
    It really was a fun distraction
    But all I wanna do is beguile
    Feel your bitch stroke my erection

    Al'Sham of many lands, most spells that confuse
    I'll leave you naked in Harlem, a slave to Grues
    Turned inside out and purple, found lost, battered at sea
    Side effects of homes wrecked and dreams scattered with glee
    The merciless magician who has nothing up his sleeve
    Except 50 wands of color spray and blinding color surge
    I roll Will saves just to quiet the urge
    To turn Gotham and Metropolis into stunned, slowed masses
    Make Greyhawk and Faerun start paying me taxes
    I'll trick the people of Athas into thinking it's December
    Make Kwame Kilpatrick look like a rank amateur

    So get your Cloak of Resistance, save the game, cancel dinner
    Al'Sham the final boss, finally here, the clear winner
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)00:56 No.10126529
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    This warrior don't care if you got spells to shoot,
    I'll run up on a nigga cuz he's wearing my loot,
    and my pursuit of the dollar don't make me miser,
    calculating my net worth requires zero as a divisor.
    And my incisors is gold plated, platinum clad biscuspid,
    show me your BBEG nigga, I'll have him maladjusted,
    I'm the new hotness, your shit's old and busted.
    And an alliance trusted with Al'Sham, better believe...
    to face all challengers, I'm ready to cleave...


    ...get your asses back in here, who said you could leave?
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)00:58 No.10126567
         File1275109133.jpg-(119 KB, 334x497, Quaintana_3.jpg)
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    Oh shit, guess who's here?
    Sarghress clan bitches, shed a tear.

    Think you're special, think you got a crit?
    Step the fuck back and those teeth grit!

    No specials, all uniform.
    Killing more humans than chloroform.

    Ain't nobody special, ain't nobody shiny
    Say any different and shut up whiny

    Drow army, here and crass
    Get to the side, or we kick your ass
    >> MC Necromaster 05/29/10(Sat)01:00 No.10126593
    Ain't you be listening?
    I'm not vampy all glistening
    I'm something older and stronger
    If I was you I would run
    So you can live a little longer
    Before I have my fun

    You put faith in your bible
    That sets out to libel
    those off your mortal coil
    But I'll make your blood boil
    As forever you toil
    With a wave of my hand
    Your corpse I will command
    It'll wonder the land
    Zombie roadie for my band

    You're claiming your smart but you're still here
    You'd be gone if you were smart enough to feel fear
    Rather then heading towards your doom so near
    Think for yourself, your gods won't help you now
    Unless some cowardice they see fit do endow
    Step the fuck down, run back to town
    Coz MC Necromaster is done fuckin' around.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:04 No.10126658
    WAIT... WHAT!?
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:05 No.10126683
    Noooooooo, how could this happen!?
    >> MC Recitation 05/29/10(Sat)01:05 No.10126685
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    By the Golden Throne!
    It's truly not that difficult!
    This rhythm you're weavin
    is a clear aural insult.
    I know it appears my vox's
    just stuck on repeat,
    but I'm completely baffled
    why most you can't keep a beat.
    Kindly observe my elucidation
    (a little simple wisdom
    from the cyborgian martian):
    Unless you're SnB
    (because dolts don't grasp they're dolts)
    Count it out on your fingers
    before your audience bolts.
    Say that shit out loud!
    Literally check that flow!
    It was just painful to read;
    I said I'll go now I go.

    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:06 No.10126693
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    Bitch I acknowledged don't misquote
    I'll always be here, fighting with hope

    Bible and Libel, try to sound that out, you're rhymes are lame we're game
    You better not dribble, stop chewing sour kraut, holy with rising fame
    Sings the bards, we hold the cards.

    Fear, pfft, read the players handbook.
    I'm here, no tears, holy symbol and you cook.
    I ain't easy to scare, I'm never gonna whine
    It just takes one prayer, just a little time

    How quaint, how sad
    Don't fain't, sorry bitch
    That's too bad.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:07 No.10126713
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)01:08 No.10126733
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    Oh look, a worshipper of LOLth, clearly in the wrong place
    You're at a rap battle son, the S&M group is over 2 states
    Keep the whips in the closet, teach your kids to read
    You niggas are as attractive as a gnoll drag queen
    The INT score is the road to success in this fight
    Not even my magic can bring you to the light
    Get off your drider welfare and start paying for your goods
    Quit stealing from human farmers and those elves in the woods
    Your quarantined in the Underdark for a very good reason
    And there's nothing more fun than Drow hunting season
    It's because R.A. Salvatore couldn't climb the writer's hill
    For such ugly fetish losers to be less fun to kill
    Your CR is a lie, more like a Cool Reward score
    As in how much the bitches love you when you murder a Drow whore

    So go rhyme with the mind flayers and your glowing myconids
    This is a battle for big boys, not nerf guns attached to kids.
    >> Monstahman 05/29/10(Sat)01:09 No.10126749
    well'p too bad I've got no rhym'in in me,
    Things are just getting heated up here? I'll just have to see.
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)01:10 No.10126770

    Yes, it's true folks, the Ork was a lie
    The cake's in the fake, at least it was fun for this guy
    I'm the Beguiler for STORYTIEM, the epic D&D game you've read
    I spin tall tales and lies, disguise, silently put the guards to bed
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:11 No.10126798
    We gotta necromancer let me show you a wizard
    freezin all your shit with a spell called blizzard.
    Swingin a sword? might as well be a pillow
    You ain't got no chance. Sit and watch my robes billow.

    Up close and messy? Got no time for that shit.
    I'm still far away when your gonna get hit.
    Arcane power flowin through my hands
    Sit your as down. Go back to your lands.

    Using your
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:16 No.10126889
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    Ok let me tension diffuse
    I think you got your settings confused

    I ain't no FR
    Not that whack
    Got no CR
    I give nerds a heart attack

    You think you're big with HUMANITY, FUCK YES
    But when I get in your town, you can't even guess

    Smashing your cities
    Raidinig your farms
    Hitting some critties
    Causing you harms

    Don't hate me hate your game
    While you're rollin d20's I'm gettin fame.
    >> Monstahman 05/29/10(Sat)01:23 No.10127035
    Sitting here and all I'm see'in is a load of nothing coming,
    Might as well bump in case someone creates something
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:23 No.10127041
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    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)01:24 No.10127063
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    The whims of fate demand a fight
    40 foot ceiling prevents flight
    Invisibility on, time to spread the blight
    Fast hands like nomads
    Rhymes beautiful like dryads
    Like the way they feel my gonads

    Fighting soldiers weary and paladins brave?
    Disguise as a maiden, see 'em at their grave
    All's fair in love and war, do what it takes to win
    Elegantly if possible, settle for knives to the chin
    Low STR? Not a problem, just sling those spells
    Silent Spell, a poker star, don't send any tells
    Make fun with weak puns, tell other emcees how to do it
    Don't notice the kobold is a level 20 druid
    Paid off by sneaky hands in dark places
    Intelligence headband, many faces
    Just some ways to describe, the height of the land
    This beguiler most deft, skilled in sleights of hand
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:24 No.10127076
    One thing's for sure, y'all are the masters
    If I were to imitate it'd just be disasters
    I'd get stung like bees from a hive
    But we need to get this in the archive.
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)01:26 No.10127115
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    Keep it flowing, keep it flowin

    Don't get complacent while I'm building momentum,
    I'll drop lyrical bombs plated with aurum, argentum,
    And while y'all poppin' centrum, hoping yo' senses get heightened,
    take a word from the wise, cuz' I be enlightened.
    While my enemies be frightened, even in the Far Realm;
    Yo' damage is nonlethal, like casting mass whelm.
    And when our helms connect, I will impart my knowledge,
    I ain't taking you to school nigga, I'm taking you to college.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:27 No.10127132
    Remove those glasses you chaotic cunt, you are unworthy to taint it with your evil so sour-
    What the fuck would you little niggers know about FIGHTING THE POWER.
    Trapped underground, forever destined to take it in the butt-
    I'm about to show you tranny bastards why berzerk rhymes earned me the nickname GUTTS.
    My dick will blow through the heavens like an explosion atomic-
    Get your baby raping ass back in your shitty webcomic.
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)01:31 No.10127234
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    Pretty uppity for a Drow male, who are you, Drizzt?
    Oh wait, just another neckbeard, never been kissed
    Whether its Waterdeep or Kobold Keep
    The slums of Philly or Wall Street
    I'll Halt your advance during YOUR round,
    Spend your turn getting burned
    Hold Person in your groove
    Your rhymes fully spurrned
    Our army on the move
    And you left clueless, like a homeless clown
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:33 No.10127279
         File1275111234.png-(17 KB, 381x400, At first I was like.png)
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    Lady you ain't nothing but a bad mary sue
    Stomping an armed city with you're merry crew
    Acting like you're hot shit with your purple hair
    Thinking I should have a reason to fucking care

    Lemme tell you just why can't fucking beat me
    Your enemies failed the storm trooper academy

    Sitting there making one sword swing, bows at the back, waiting for you to attack.
    Were here, aiming and letting our rifles crack.

    Handed everything like a god damned Na'vi
    Made by neckbeards and hambeasts dear me!
    We're here waving middle fingers, so free
    So get back underground, that big kitchen bitch, where you gotta be!
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:35 No.10127316
    Alright, enough is enough, I'm calling you all out,
    You may try to act tough but you're more of a lout,
    so listen to these rhymes I spout,
    and put your guards on the look out,
    cause I'ma bout to make you pout, and throw your whole cause in doubt.

    You think it's already been pretty rough, and you're thinking maybe the rest is just a bluff,
    but hang on..
    let me assure you of my stuff,

    one, two, gotta get my time,
    prepare myself to throw down another line,
    see you thought I'd say rhyme..but that'd be a crime!
    since the lyrical twist isn't unique,
    which would cause my mind to straight up freak, cause I'm a master of the written sign,
    and although now and then I get weak and lose my next design,
    I jump right back with another beat, and make it out just fine.
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)01:35 No.10127318
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    Al'Sham, tearing it up, stealin' that Drow thunder,
    Put two lands on the top, just got hit by Plow Under.
    He'll sunder defenses, you mad cuz he's stylin;
    Best remember I'm the DM, and he just Beguilin',

    sPiiiiiiiiiin that shit niggaaaaaaaaaaa!
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)01:36 No.10127338
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    I got more cantrips than Jace or Elspeth
    More protections than angels, your hand empty, spells spent

    Cause I countered your shit the turn before you cast
    Sent Time Warp to the yard, hit your Bloodbraid Elf with Bituminous Blast
    I draft blue first pick, nigga so what? I make it work
    If you haven't seen, I can really lay down the hurt
    It's not whether you play enough lands or the right creature
    It's whether you top deck the right instants to make a wizards.com feature

    Play whatever game you want, I probably wrote the rulebook
    When you're fucking sneaky like dis git, judges know where to look
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:37 No.10127347
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    >> Matt Ward 05/29/10(Sat)01:37 No.10127349

    Your shit's so old.
    It's rusting.
    My rhymes is ill. Yours?
    With a name like sword's
    I believed.
    I was doomed, but now?
    I'm relieved.

    Ma-t-t, War + D
    Packin wallops.
    My stat line's got more 10s
    Than a cheap hoe's wallet.

    So reply back.
    If you will it.
    Throw down your rhyme
    and I'll kill it.


    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:38 No.10127361
    Watching the clock spin faster I see impending disaster because the rap thread caught my attention.
    Like pillars of alabaster and the eyes of a kalashtar theres a shine like the planes are in contention.
    From the Elemental chaos to the Astral sea , I sail on my Jammer, The Introspection in glee.
    For the metaphoric nature of the 7 peaks down to the darkest abyssal cavern where noone speaks.
    I fear I may have used all my time
    for I am failing to bust a rhyme
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:41 No.10127425

    >> MC Necromaster 05/29/10(Sat)01:41 No.10127436
    It might be the accent difference, but they rhyme to me. Anyways, this shit be on.

    Hope is all in your head, you might as well be dead
    Because you're talking to the original font of all dread You can't hope to compete
    You're just a puppet of meat
    With a soul holy and sweet

    You're a one system fool
    Lining up to be my new tool
    If you think that I'm in your handbook
    Or the monster manual
    I'm something unique
    Some might call me a freak
    But they no longer can speak

    If fear don't work, I'll just have to deal with you now
    Waste you today, tomorrow your mother I'll plow
    Coz all you have is 2 bit rhymes
    Lining up agiast the lyricist of the end times
    I'm getting a little bored with the repeat drama
    Why is it always knights in shining armour
    It won't protect you from my lightning bolt
    Or when I make your own flesh revolt
    And your sword and smite
    And your holy light
    Won't help when you can't see me
    I have invisibility
    As an at will ability
    I'm etheral, I flow like my rap
    All around you, as your soul I sap
    And you're stuck in my unliving trap
    I'll suck your soul dry as lyrics
    Using arcane tricks
    Your mind I will empty of ethics
    So when you're once again wielding your epics
    This time it's in the service of your lord and Master
    We all know who I mean, the ultimate caster
    Beyond class, and too powerful to stat
    with the Illest rhymes and the beats too phat.
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)01:44 No.10127475
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    While SnB and Matt Ward get in a joust
    Let's find out which of us is more like Marcel Proust

    Do your rhymes hang low, do they swagger, rock and glow?
    Do they reach sky high, do the dishes, the lawn mow?
    Do they turn orcs to chickens, do they repair objects?
    Do they steal rhyme schemes, oh come now, dont protest!

    You know Mr. Neckbeard, degree in phi-la-so-phie, spoutin a decree, all ideas are derivative, everything should be free? I guess if monuments and words are alike, its that its hard to move them, but they can be moved for the right price.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:46 No.10127512
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    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:49 No.10127576
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    Unique you say when you re enter the fray?
    I reply stop right there some thing isn't right today

    You say special I say sue
    When the crowd cheers for me
    All you hear is "boo!"
    Open your dead eyes can't you see
    Ima snap your placantary

    Don't pretend to be adequate
    Watch my symbols activate
    You're sitting there's ageitated
    Knowing you're just hated

    Thinking your shit Rhymes have a beat
    I'm the one lauded on every street!
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)01:50 No.10127590
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    MC Ward riding out to challenge my siege,
    have you accepted Guilliman as your spiritual liege?
    I'll relieve your command and begin your displacement,
    you still painting ultrasmurfs in your mama's basement?

    And while you roll out with your Astartes Adeptus,
    it don't even classify as Homo Erectus,
    a prospectus constructed from inferior seed,
    when my dice rolls explode, all your spess mehreens bleed.
    And even Creed won't save you from this genius tactical,
    stuff your fluff codexes and miniatures, that shit's plain impractical.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:50 No.10127595
    Oh, god, that made me laugh so hard since I know exactly what song it's parodying.
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)01:52 No.10127615
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    Fucking hell, an ork chief, I did that ruse
    I best use long sentence styles to confuse

    'sup GHAZGHKULL, caps lock on I see
    Calling to brace for impact, hold on, I gotta pee
    Ahhh there we are, glorious piss at last
    Kinda like if your rhymes were distilled in a glass
    Your came a long way from Armageddon
    To see the rhymescape and try choppa style beheadin'
    I know orks are fierce, I don't underestimate
    I just roll d100 to see where you move, where you face
    Confusion is a great spell, much better than 'Ere We Go
    Except I guess if your goal is to get soft, like tofu mapo
    100 Orks or a 1,000, you can't even roll crits
    Color Spray is low level, duration infinite for you Brits
    >> Sparrow Clan Rappin' Bushi 05/29/10(Sat)01:56 No.10127687
    Now this is a thread I can get into;
    Unfortunately, I've got to hit the 'loo.
    I'll be back in a few,
    so keep the rapping strong and true.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)01:58 No.10127721
    >Sparrow Clan


    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)01:59 No.10127736

    Oh hell yeah, the Sparrow Clan, I know you guys
    Rocking Diplomacy mods and two toe shoes in disguise
    Come to the fight when you're ready, rhymes outta da vault
    I'll take your pitches, plow your bitches, tell the Daimyo it was your fault
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:01 No.10127784
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    We're not worthy, we're not worthy!
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:04 No.10127834
    Hey, my man, the Board with the sword,
    why is /tg/ better than all the other boards?
    >> Sparrow Clan Rappin' Bushi 05/29/10(Sat)02:06 No.10127866
    You best get to steppin' if you don't want to get plowed,
    Sparrow Clan in this thread, and we're motherfucking proud.
    Honorable poverty and a life of duty,
    Our lives are filled with blessed harmony.
    Go ahead, take your best shot,
    I guarantee you, you ain't nearly as hot.
    Your honor's in the gutter, your glory's below zero,
    I'm the Sparrow Clan's Rappin' Bushi and this story's hero!
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:09 No.10127922
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    Horus is filled porus holes of chaos souls, eating away every day at my people who are the steeple of pure and true, I'm striking through my Guilliman the blue in the hearts of those that disbelieve you and my cause because they don't believe in santa emperor-Klaus.

    You think your chaos magics gonna protect you from my fucking hat tricks? You pathetic little insect, you know nothing of power or intellect. I'm older than those wicked eldar bitches, who are nothing but cheap whores and witches. Lead by pedophile, damn dog, you ever heard of a fucking FBI file?! Adeptus Astartes gonna rape your face more than you catching your dick climbing a gate, over my imperial magistrate!
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)02:09 No.10127933
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    Stare into my eyes, don't blink or turn around
    Cause I just summoned a Rust Monster and he's turning your sword brown
    Or at least it looks like it, how the fuck would you know
    Your SR is in the negatives, your bushido lacking flow
    Bushi, more like Bishi, cute and poor
    Sushi and rice balls are all your sword is good for
    Call out the master, get stomp, what'd you expect?
    Send the Diplomancer in, at least he showed some respect
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)02:10 No.10127950

    Because what passes for original content on other boards is confined to re-edits of a picture or changing the words in a copypasta story.

    Original content on /tg/ is real original content, and everyone makes it fucking awesome.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:16 No.10128055

    Hey you with the golden tits, haven't I seen you before
    Oh yeah, thats right, your the dead guy whose on the floor
    and you'd better get back there if you know what for
    cause you ain't nothin but an asshole begging for more

    and don't think that not spiritual liege will come to save
    cause he's busy with Matt ward and he calls him Dave.
    >> Sparrow Clan Rappin' Bushi 05/29/10(Sat)02:17 No.10128072
    I don't need a sword to beat you, fool;
    A little ol' rust monster ain't gonna make me lose my cool.
    A sword ain't nothin' but a tool,
    And besides, it ain't no help in a rappin' duel.

    Besides, I don't need nothin' but my voice and a beat,
    By the time I'm through, you'll be nothin' but mindless meat.
    Go ahead and bring your shadow magics to bear,
    Sparrow's don't care about even or fair.
    We'll keep rappin' along with our honor intact,
    While your soul gets torn up, gets diced up, gets racked!

    Is that all you got, my friend?
    Or are you gonna stop playin' pretend?
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:18 No.10128092
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:21 No.10128154
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    >This entire thread
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:22 No.10128174
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)02:23 No.10128179

    I ain't no blood mage, my magics don't defile the land
    Cost me nothing to trap you in a sack bound for Iran
    My soul is intact, no piece to the shadow
    No contracts with demons that turn the earth fallow
    Just a spell slot to pick locks and make folks into pies
    So grab your hose and naginata, keep your men on the prize
    The only pretending going on in this duel
    Is me caring whether or not you look like a fool
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:24 No.10128206
    I wish I could rap, this thread is like getting touched by divine creativity.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:25 No.10128233
    I bet the AdMech have some awesome beat boxers.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:27 No.10128296
    Thats when the Tech Priest steps forward with a servitor on each side of him and break it down. No human legs? No fucking problem, in fact, thats how the fun begins.
    >> Sparrow Clan Rappin' Bushi 05/29/10(Sat)02:28 No.10128314
    Your magic's a crutch, a fickle tool;
    Who's worse, you or I, the Bushi or the fool?
    At the end of the day, you're shit out of luck,
    While I don't need any magic, no arcane muck.
    Keep on talkin', it ain't nothin' but sass;
    Without your magics, you ain't nothin' but a Unicorn's ass.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:30 No.10128356
    All 8-bit and shit.
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)02:33 No.10128425

    >Implying that when the battle is won and records be kept
    I would still need any spells, as if I didn't plot every step
    My methodology is precise like the edge of your sword
    When it isn't purple and talking to you in Boar
    Your whatever defenses are simply crude and rude
    Put your guns on kid, I'll be back, just grabbing some food
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:41 No.10128609
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    On the contrary, my fine fellow; misguided are your raps.
    Anything is possible with imagination, creativity; and rest assured your fantasy is safely under wraps.
    Between a mysterious master of cunning deceit and a very stunning warrior who owns a silver tounge of tricks.
    My mind can't help but wander and get lost dreaming of things unknown, BIG, and THICK.
    In case you've not been attentive during your proud ego inflating-
    There's more to pretend than just rhymes, so let's stop debating.
    I'm very accomdating, we can all reach a happy conclusion-
    Just close your eyes and drop your pants, no need for confusion.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:42 No.10128636

    "In my mom's basement"
    This nigga says "PLEASE"
    Do YOU fuckin know me?
    I'm head fuckin' cheese.

    I scratch my balls with gold forks.
    You scratchin' fleas.
    Fuckin' jeez.
    Call them smurfs again I'll burn you for heresies.

    You spit lies
    More than you spit cum.
    What a surprise
    The best part of you ran down
    Your mama's thigh's

    I exhort
    The truth.
    You contort.
    What's that?
    No retort?

    If you can't handle
    where this dev delves.
    Then grow pointy ears
    and hang out with some space elves.
    >> Matt Ward 05/29/10(Sat)02:43 No.10128667

    Derp. Forgot my name.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:43 No.10128683
    Didn't someone here once think up of the technopriests which was just Daft Punk in a warlord titan with giant speakers attached to it?
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:51 No.10128831
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    bumpan for /tg/ rap battles

    I salute all of you, brave, brave souls.
    >> Matt Ward 05/29/10(Sat)02:53 No.10128867

    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)02:53 No.10128874
    Man this is tight wish I could stick around
    Watch Sword n' Board flow, retake some ground
    But it's late here and I got to get some sleep
    If this doesn't get archived then surely I'll weep
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)03:00 No.10129017
    moar Matt Ward and Sword 'n Board battlan.
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)03:01 No.10129036

    Ouch, that hurt, need some ointment for these burns
    Psyke! Just kidding, by the way, turned your horse into ferns
    Evocate at this rate, watch spectators head spin
    Defenestrate all your hate, send your tea set to Winterhaven
    Typical of samurai, offer to suck a man's cock
    Bushido tales filled with whales sword-fighting up and down the block
    A master stroke with every component, my rhymes are metamagic
    4 levels above you, perk your ears, try to catch it
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)03:09 No.10129154

    I Spelljam like Rock Band, every verse is a solo
    Sigil is in the know, casting level 64 BOLO
    With ease and cream cheese my rhymes are criminal
    Like a bagel without salmon, you're far from subliminal
    The feast of a kingdom I prepared on a dare
    Spiced the food with Kerrathil, fuck every bitch in town square
    Masterful tricks like huge gricks, unprepared but lethal
    Conquer some other clan's land, this ain't a Dune prequel
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)03:12 No.10129207
    Two attacks a round, I think this battle is won
    Unless our Sparrow friend is loading a gun
    Impersonate a Fighter, level 6, be proud
    Pulled the shield over your eyes, turned your words POOF! - into a cloud
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)03:13 No.10129225
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    The dev returns with a one-two punch,
    sniping potshots while I was out to lunch,
    and if gluttony is heretical, a mortal sin;
    I'll make an exception for you, 'cuz you're wafer thin.
    And to much chagrin, you're still outspoken,
    my lyrics decimate morale, what's that--SQUAD BROKEN!

    I'll you dead choking, you don't represent Terra's hood.
    even the Tau worship my image as the greatest good,
    and I've stood before champions, you don't even rank;
    exterminatus is coming once I'm in your flank.
    Your blank stare will usher in a fate most cruel,
    when I grill up your ass and feed it to Gabe Newell.
    >> MC Therion 05/29/10(Sat)03:16 No.10129276
    MC Therion, Magus of Ceremonies
    I invoke Hastur, revoke phony
    mascara wearing faggot emcees
    who try to test me with blasphemous sorcery.
    So you're rolling pentagonal trapezohedron
    Well it's Gehenna mo'fucker and I'm an antedelluvian
    This ain't world of darkness, it's call of cthulhu
    Harlot drop you in a box when Nyarla's done with you
    Azathoth, shoggoth, shub-niggurath
    I stack rappers by the abyss and I'm kicking 'em off
    Sysyphyx is sucking me off, I ride a byahkee
    I heard you was a furry, teen werewolf with scurvy
    basement dwellin trap fapper making your moms worry
    Are you deaf son, can't you hear my fans?
    They're in black robes chantin'
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)03:19 No.10129314
    I get this all set to go to be archived and now it flatlines. LIVE GODDAMMIT!!
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)03:23 No.10129370
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    Nigga's show no love, spoutin the unclean one's word
    You can type all dyslexic but its clear, you just absurd
    That nigga Kalarel thought aberrants were cool too
    He called for help, the farm bought, turned into human stew
    His rhymes were alright, his form was all lock step
    But your swagger is crooked, Old Ones unfit to rep
    Leave the sorcery to professionals with +1 Masterwork tools
    Leave the eye of newt at home, quit taking notes from Blues Clues
    >> The Adventurer 05/29/10(Sat)03:27 No.10129445
    A rap battle? Fuck.

    Yo, yo, You whore-sons better step back
    Your rhymes are weak and your flow is whack
    Better hit the scrolls and learn how to act
    Because now The Adventurer is on the attack
    Traveling town to town with rhymes in my pack
    Leaving sucker MC's no chance to react
    They never see it coming and that's a fact
    Because my lyrical longsword is loaded with stats
    The rapping game requires knowledge and knack
    Those are scores of which you all seem to lack
    It's your entire verse, bitches, that I slash and hack
    While I watch the platinum pieces pile up in stacks
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)03:31 No.10129523

    Alright, fresh blood, swing your sword
    Talk a little louder or I'mma get bored
    We've had plenty of fighters today
    Their rhymes deflated, causing no sway
    I welcome all challengers to the grand combat
    At least 'till the bell rings and I'm on the attack
    Make sure pack is full with delicious food canned
    I'm gonna cast all my spells and your supplies be damned.
    Tell 'em Al'Sham said sure, he'll be happy to babysit
    As long as my murder charge is guaranteed to acquit
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)03:32 No.10129539
    Silly mister Wyles, no samurai am I.
    But sam I am and green eggs plus ham, Doc Suess made my rhymes fly.
    I seek no violence nor feelings getting hurt.
    But I'm always down with getting rough or else I wouldn't flirt.
    I've travelled to this thread for one simple reason.
    The penultimate perversity achieved is a thought most pleasing.
    Rappers and M.C.'s are so closely related; most equate skill in lyrics to the size of their dong.
    /tg/'s the home and kingdom of the greatest; every man that can spit rap here has got a dick the size of king kong.
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)03:35 No.10129576

    Words of harmony ring clear, alright I can dig
    But forgive me if I don't just politely sing
    You see, every fight is just a chance to level up for me
    So one day I may do battle with DJ Phylactery
    >> The Adventurer 05/29/10(Sat)03:39 No.10129633
    You're on the attack? Man, you ain't on shit
    Beat my initiative and you just might hit
    Roll less than a 20 and the only thing you get
    is a full round attack from the The Adventurers dick

    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)03:42 No.10129694
    Alright /tg/, this is it, I gotta bounce
    My giant bed is calling me, with my lady, every ounce
    Of delicious comfort savored after a battle most fierce
    Earned via dickery, in a style like a Brosnan named Pierce
    I gotta get up early tomororw, head off to farmer's market
    I'll check the thread later on, peace out, don't forget it

    Because the samurai was right, one truth always stands
    We the rappers of /tg/ all have the greatest fans
    >> Al'Sham Wyles 05/29/10(Sat)03:46 No.10129733

    As for you Adventurer, I promise to continue this brawl
    Within /tg/'s sacred palace, it's glorious Rap Hall
    But another date it will be, as decreed from my steed
    I now ride dreams into flowers, and that's not the weed
    >> Matt Ward 05/29/10(Sat)03:46 No.10129736

    Dohoho, I'm sorry you've got--
    me giggling.
    I can't help but laugh with the shit--
    you're dribbling.
    I made my saves--
    Your swings were lacking
    Listen close. now I'm--
    attacking.I give 'nids their claws.
    I make Orks green.

    1+ for the hit
    2+ for the show
    3+ to wound
    4+ Every roll.

    Just face it, brody.
    You can't stop my lit
    I'm the alpha and omega
    of this Warhammer shit.
    You like tau?
    Ha I INVENTED the Tri-Clit.
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)03:47 No.10129753
    well I'm still here.
    and I'm still drunk.
    >> Matt Ward 05/29/10(Sat)03:47 No.10129755

    Dohoho, I'm sorry you've got--
    me giggling.
    I can't help but laugh with the shit--
    you're dribbling.
    I made my saves--
    Your swings were lacking
    Listen close. now I'm--

    1+ for the hit
    2+ for the show
    3+ to wound
    4+ Every roll.

    Just face it, brody.
    You can't stop my lit
    I'm the alpha and omega
    of this Warhammer shit.
    You like tau?
    Ha I INVENTED the Tri-Clit.

    >> The Adventurer 05/29/10(Sat)03:49 No.10129784
    I respect the competition and I'll give you dap
    You stood up and you showed /tg/ how to rap
    I'll see you in the next thread because this one will cap
    Because the sucker MC's never take naps.
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)03:51 No.10129819

    Some backdrop for all a yo.
    >> WonderShowzen !!q+zPRw3IcG+ 05/29/10(Sat)03:55 No.10129900
    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)03:57 No.10129923
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    This has been good so far,
    lawful warriors of this land.
    But you are late for some smithing
    and you need to keep worshiping
    Lawful Good with good rhymes
    paladins are small time
    Listen kids, you are okay,
    for a starter campaign
    But when it's time to go epic
    only works being angelic.

    >> Anonymous 05/29/10(Sat)03:59 No.10129961
    I'm actually amazed that Matt Ward knows how to write something that isn't completely terrible.
    >> The Adventurer 05/29/10(Sat)04:08 No.10130080
    Wait, wait, hold up, your flow is rougher
    Than the freaky sex that I had with your mother
    Angels should make rhymes as smooth as butter
    You must be a shapeshifter because of that stutter
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)04:25 No.10130267
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    Nigga you laughing, but I don't find it funny;
    You rollin' dee-sixes? Bitch, I throw dee-twenties.
    The honeys agree, my stats stack higher,
    and being the GW GM don't mean you ain't a liar.
    I tire of your efforts, you ain't the last striker,
    when a twelfth level caster beats an alpha class psyker.
    And yo' mary sue marines all in that power armor,
    would get their asses stomped by a warforged farmer.
    Good thing our universes will never cross,
    I'd lead the orks to Terra as the mightiest warboss.

    While playing god in the grimdark is what you intended,
    the plot hasn't advanced since that shit was invented,
    and the retcons have made warhammer shit-scented,
    so your demise can't be prevented,
    and you won't be lamented,
    just resented and demented until I leave you segmented.
    >> Matt Ward 05/29/10(Sat)04:42 No.10130494

    Ugh so sleepy. You win good sir. It was a pleasure doing business with you.

    May we engage in many more rap battles in the future that don't involve me rapping from Matt Ward's perspective.
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)04:43 No.10130500
    Good round man, I'm too drunk to sleep right now.
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)04:49 No.10130580
    fffffffff matt ward is probably a bad thing to rap as go with like caiphas cain or something

    I don't know shit about warhammer.
    >> Sword n' Board 05/29/10(Sat)04:55 No.10130658

    no really I got nothing but love for all /tg/ rappers. I talk shit but seriously that's what it's all about, y'all came and performed. pat yourselves on the fucking back hell yeah
    >> Matt Ward 05/29/10(Sat)04:58 No.10130701

    Hell yeah bro. Nothing but love over here.

    Take care, baby!

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